Abandon yourself to the tender passion.
Without the amorous flame,
The most charming pleasures
Have not sufficient powerful attractions
To satisfy the heart.
THE IMAGINARY INVALID. 205
Sweet youth,
Take advantage of the spring
Of your best years ;
Abandon yourself to the tender passion.
Do not lose these precious moments,
Beauty vanishes,
Time effaces it ;
The age of coldness
Comes in its stead,
Which takes away our taste for these sweet
pastimes.
Take advantage of the spring
Of your best years,
Sweet youth ;
Take advantage of the spring
Of your best years ;
Abandon yourself to the tender passion.
First Entry of the Ballet.
Dance of the Gipsies.
2D MOORISH WOMAN
What are you thinking of,
When you press us to love ?
Towards the tender passion
Our hearts, in our youth,
Have but too great an inclination.
Love has, to catch us,
Such sweet attractions,
That, from our own will, without waiting,
We would give ourselves up
To its first solicitations ;
But all that we hear
Of the poignant griefs
And the tears which it costs us,
Makes us fear
All its sweetness.
206 THE IMAGINARY INVALID.
30 MOORISH WOMAN
It is sweet, at our age,
To love tenderly
A lover
Who is faithful :
But, if he be fickle,
Alas ! what torture !
4TH MOORISH WOMAN
It is not the unhappiness
At the lover who breaks his vows ;
The pain
And the rage
Is that the fickle one
Keeps possession of our heart.
2D MOORISH WOMAN
What part are we to take,
To defend our young hearts ?
30 MOORISH WOMAN
Must we deny ourselves to it,
And flee from its delights.
4TH MOORISH WOMAN
Are we to surrender them,
Notwithstanding their rigours ?
TOGETHER
Yes, let us abandon ourselves to its ardours,
Its transports, its whims,
Its sweet languors,
If it have some tortures,
It has a thousand delights
That charm the heart.
Second Entry of the Ballet.
All the Moors dance together, and make the apes, which
they have brought with them perform some jumping.
SCENE in.] THE IMAGINARY INVALID. 207
ACT III.
SCENE I. BERALDE, ARGAN, TOINETTE.
BER. Well ! brother, what say you of this ? Is it not
better than a dose of cassia?
Toi. Humph ! good cassia is good.
BER. Well ! shall we talk a little together ?
ARC. A little patience, brother: I shall be back di-
rectly.
Toi. Stay, Sir, you forget that you cannot walk without
a stick.
ARG. You are right.
SCENE II. BERALDE, TOINETTE.
Toi. Do not lose sight, if you please, of the interests
of your niece.
BER. I shall try everything to obtain for her what she
wishes.
Toi. We must absolutely prevent this extravagant
match which he has taken into his head ; and I have
thought to myself that it would be a good thing to intro-
duce into the place a doctor of our own choosing, 36 to
disgust him with his Mr. Purgon, and to cry down his
treatment of him. But as we have no one at hand to do
this, I have made up my mind to play a trick of my own.
BER. How?
Toi. It is a whimsical idea. It may perhaps turn out
more lucky than prudent. Let me manage. Act you on
your side. There comes our man.
SCENE III. ARGAN, BERALDE.
BER. You will allow me, brother, to ask you, before
all things, not to excite yourself in our conversation.
ARG. Agreed.
BER. To reply without bitterness, to the things I may
say to you.
ARG. Yes.
BER. And to argue together the matters which we have
to discuss, with a mind free from all passion.
86 In the original un me dec in a notre paste.
208 THE IMAGINARY INVALID. ( AC , ,
ARC. Good Heavens ! yes. What a deal of preamble.
BER. Whence comes it, brother, that having the pro-
perty which you possess, and having no children but one
daughter, for I do not reckon the little one; whence
comes it, I say, that you talk of placing her in a convent ?
ARC. Whence comes it brother, that I am master in my
family, to do as I think best ?
BER. Your wife does not fail to advise you to get rid,
in that way, of your two daughters, and I have no doubt
that, through a spirit of charity, she would be delighted
to see them both good nuns.
ARG. There now ! there we are. There is the poor
woman at once brought up. It is she who does all the
harm, and every one has a grudge against her.
BER. No, brother ; let us leave her out of the question.
She is a woman who has the best possible intentions to-
wards your family, and who is devoid of all self-interest ;
who has a wonderful tenderness toward you, and who
shows an inconceivable affection and kindness for your
children : that is certain. Let us not speak of that, and
let us go back to your daughter. What is the idea,
brother, of wishing to make her marry the son of a doctor ?
ARG. The idea is, of giving myself such a son-in-law as
I want, brother.
BER. This is not your daughter's case, brother; and a
more suitable match offers itself for her.
ARG. Yes ; but this one, brother is more suitable to me.
BER. But must the husband she is to take, brother, be
for her, or for you ?
ARG. He must be both for her and for me, brother ;
and I wish to get into my family the people of whom I
may be in need.
BER. For this reason, if your little girl were grown up,
you would marry her to an apothecary.
ARG. Why not ?
BER. Is it possible that you can always be wrapt up in
your apothecaries and your doctors, and that you wish to
be ill in spite of mankind and of nature ?
ARG. How do you make that out, brother?
BER. I make it out, brother, that I see no man who is
less ill than you, and that I wish for no better constitution
SCENE HI.] THE IMAGINARY INVALID. 209
than your own. A great proof that you are in good
health, and that you have a perfectly sound body is, that
with all the pains you have taken, you have not been able
to succeed as yet in spoiling the goodness of your consti-
tution, and that you are not dead yet with all the physic
which they have made you take.
ARC. But do you know, brother, that it is this which
preserves me ; and that Mr. Purgon says that I should
succumb, if he were only three days without taking care
of me?
BER. If you do not look to it, he will take so much care
of you, that he shall send you into the next world.
ARC. But let us reason a little, brother. You do not
believe then in physic ?
BER. No, brother, and I do not see that it is necessary
to salvation to believe in it.
ARC. What ! you do not hold true a matter established
throughout the world, and which all ages have reverenced.
BER. Far from holding it true, I consider it, between
ourselves, one of the greatest follies of mankind ; and to
look philosophically at things, I do not see a more amu-
sing mummery ; I do not see anything more ridiculous
than for one man to undertake to cure another.
ARG. Why cannot you admit, brother, that one man
may be able to cure another ?
BER. For this reason, brother, that the springs of our
machine are a mystery, of which, up to the present, men
can see nothing ; and that nature has placed too thick a
veil before our eyes for our knowing anything about it.
ARG. Then, in your opinion, doctors know nothing?
BER. True, brother, most of them have a deal of classi-
cal learning, know how to speak in good Latin, can name
all the diseases in Greek, define and classify them ; but as
regards curing them, that is what they do not know at
all. 37
ARG. But, nevertheless, you must agree that, on this
head, doctors know more than other people.
BER. They know, brother, what I have told you, which
w Beralde's attack on the physicians should be compared with the
thirty-seventh chapter of the Second Book of the Essays of Montaigne.
210 THE IMAGINARY INVALID. [ACT in.
does not cure much ; and the whole excellence of their
art consists in a pompous gibberish, in a specious verbiage,
which gives you words instead of reasons, and promises
instead of effects.
ARC. But after all, brother, there are people as learned
and as clever as you ; and we find that, in case of illness,
everyone has recourse to doctors.
BER. It is a sign of human weakness, and not of the
truth of their art.
ARG. But doctors must believe in the truth of their art,
inasmuch as they make use of it for themselves.
BER. That is because there are some among them who
themselves share in the popular error by which they profit ;
and others who profit by it without sharing in it. Your Mr.
Purgon, for instance, does not discriminate very clearly ;
he is a thorough physician from head to foot ; a man who
believes in his rules more than in all mathematical demon-
strations, and who would think it a crime to wish to examine
them ; who sees nothing obscure in physic, nothing dubi-
ous, nothing difficult, and who, with an impetuosity of
prejudice, a stiff-necked assurance, a coarse common sense
and reasoning, rushes into purging and bleeding, and
hesitates at nothing. You must not owe him a grudge for
all he might do to you : he would despatch you with the
most implicit faith ; and he would, in killing you, only do
what he has done to his wife and children, and what, if
there were any need, he would do to himself.
ARG. That is because you bear him a grudge from infancy,
brother. 88 But to cut it short, let us come to the fact.
What must we do, then, when we are ill ?
BER. Nothing, brother.
ARG. Nothing?
BER. Nothing. We must remain quiet. If we leave
nature alone, she recovers gently from the disorder into
which she has fallen. It is our anxiety, our impatience,
which spoils all ; and nearly all men die of their remedies,
not of their diseases.-
ARG. But you must admit, brother, that this nature may
be assisted by certain things.
18 The original has vous avez, man frere, une dent de /ait contre lui ;
dent de lait means literally, a first or shedding tooth.
SCENE in.] THE IMAGINARY INVALID. 211
BER. Good Heavens ! brother, these are mere ideas with
which we love to beguile ourselves; and, at all times,
beautiful fictions have crept in amongst men, in which we
believe, because they flatter us, and because it were to be
wished that they were true. When a physician speaks to
you of aiding, assisting, and supporting nature, to take
away from her what is hurtful, and to give her that which
she wants, to re-establish her, and to put her in the full
possession of her functions ; when he speaks to you of
rectifying the blood, of regulating the bowels and the
brain, of relieving the spleen, of putting the chest to rights,
of mending the liver, of strengthening the heart, of renew-
ing and preserving the natural heat, and of being possessed
of secrets to prolong life till an advanced age, he just tells
you the romance of physic. But when you come to the
truth and experience, you find nothing of all this ; and it
is like those beautiful dreams, which, on awaking, leave
you nothing but the regret of having believed in them.
ARC. Which means that all the knowledge of the world
is contained in your head, and that you profess to know
more about it than all the great physicians of our age.
BER. In speaking and in reality, your great physicians
are two different sorts of persons. Hear them hold forth,
they are the cleverest people in the world ; see them act,
they are the most ignorant of all men.
ARC. Lack-a-day! you are a great doctor; and I should
much like to have one of these gentlemen here, to refute
your arguments, and to take you down a peg or two.
BER. I, brother, I do not assume the task of combating
the Faculty; and every one, at his own risk and cost,
may believe whatever he pleases. What I say about it is
simply between ourselves, and I should have wished to be
somewhat able to dispel the error in which you are, and
to take you, for your amusement, to see one of the come-
dies of Moliere upon this subject,
ARC. Your Moliere, with his comedies, is a fine imper-
tinent fellow ! and I think it is like his impudence to go
and bring upon the stage such worthy persons as the
physicians.
BER. He does not make fun of physicians, but of the
ridiculousness of physic.
212 THE IMAGINARY INVALID. [ACT HI.
ARC. It is like him to do so, to interfere about con-
trolling the Faculty ! There is a fine booby, a brazen im-
pertinent fellow, to make fun of consultations and pre-
scriptions, to attack the body of physicians, and to put on
his stage such venerable persons as these gentlemen !
BER. What would you have him put there but the
various professions of men ? They put princes and kings
there every day, who are of quite as good family as
physicians.
ARG. Now, by all that is terrible ! w if I were the physi-
cians, I would avenge myself of his impertinence; and
would let him die without assistance, whenever he felt ill.
He might say and do what he liked ; I would not pre-
scribe even the least bleeding, or the smallest enema; and
I would say to him : die, die ; that will teach you another
time to make fun of the Faculty.
BER. You are very angry with him ?
ARG. Yes. He is a foolish fellow ; and if the physicians
be wise, they will do what I say.
BER. He will be wiser still than your physicians, for he
will not ask them for their assistance.
ARG. So much the worse for him, if he have no
recourse to remedies.
BER. He has his reasons for not wishing for them, and
he maintains that it is permitted only to robust and
vigorous people, who have sufficient strength left to bear
the remedies with the disease ; but that, as for him, he
has just strength enough to bear his illness.
ARG. Silly reasons these ! There, brother, let us talk
no more about this man ; for he excites my bile, and you
will bring on my illness again.
BER. Very well } brother ; and to change our conversa-
tion, I will tell you, that on account of a trifling repug-
nance on the part of your daughter, you should not take
the violent resolution to place her in a convent : that in
the choice of a son-in-law, you should not blindly yield
to a passion which carries you away; and that, in such
a matter, you should accommodate yourself somewhat to
89 The original has Par la mart non de diable, used for Par la mort de
Dieit, non, de diable I
SCENE v.l THE IMAGINARY INVALID. 2IJ
the inclination of your child, seeing that it is for her life,
and that on it depends the happiness of a union.
SCENE IV. MR. FLEURANT, carrying a syringe ; ARGAN,
BERALDE.
ARC. Ah ! by your leave, brother.
BER. What are you going to do ?
ARC. Take this little enema: it will soon be done.
BER. You are jesting. Cannot you be a moment with-
out an enema or some physic ? Put it off till another time,
and remain quiet a little.
ARC. It will be for to-night or for to-morrow morning,
Mr. Fleurant.
MR. F. {To Beralde). With what do you meddle, to
oppose the prescription of the Faculty, and to prevent
this gentleman from taking my enema? It is very ridicu-
lous of you to be so rash !
BER. Begone, Sir ; we see well enough that you- are
not accustomed to speak to people's faces.
MR. F. One should not thus make fun of physic, and
make me waste my time. I have come here only with a
good prescription ; and I shall go and tell Mr. Purgon
how I have been prevented from executing his orders,
and from performing my function. You shall see, you
shall see . . .
SCENE V. ARGAN, BERALDE.
ARG. You will be the cause of some mishap here,
brother.
BER. A great mishap not to take an enema which Mr.
Purgon has ordered ! Once more, brother, is it possible
that there is no way of curing you of that mania for
physicians, and that you wish to be buried all the days of
your life in their remedies ?
ARG. Good Heavens ! brother, you talk of it as a man
who is in perfect health ; but if you were in my place, you
would soon change your language. It is easy to talk
against physic, when one is in good health.
BER. But what illness have you ?
ARG. You will drive me mad. I wish you had it, my
214 THE IMAGINARY INVALID. [ACT in.
illness, just to see whether you would prate so much. Ah !
here comes Mr. Purgon.
SCENE VI. MR. PURGON, AUGAN, BERALDE, TOINETTE.
MR. P. I have just heard some pretty news at the door ;
that people are making jest of my prescriptions here, and
refuse to take the remedies which I have prescribed.
ARC. Sir, it is not . . .
MR. P. This is a very rash proceeding, a strange revolt
of a patient against his physician.
Toi. This is horrible,
MR. P. An enema which I had taken a pleasure in
compounding myself.
ARC. It is not I ...
MR. P. Invented and concocted according to all the
rules of the art.
Toi. He is wrong.
MR. P. And which was to produce a marvellous effect on
the bowels.
ARC. My brother . . .
MR. P. To send it back with contempt !
ARC. (Pointing to Beralde). It is he . . . .
MR. P. It is a most daring deed.
Toi. That is true.
MR. P. An enormous outrage against the medical pro-
fession.
ARG. (Pointing to Beralde). He is the cause . . .
MR. P. A crime of high treason against the Faculty,
which cannot be sufficiently punished.
Toi. You are right.
MR. P. I declare that I break off all connection with
you.
ARG. It is my brother . . .
MR. P. That I no longer desire an alliance with you.
Toi. You will do well.
MR. P. And that to make an end of all union with
you, there is the deed of gift which I made to my nephew,
in favour of the marriage. (He tears the document to
pieces, and throws the pieces furiously about.
SCENE vi.] THE IMAGINARY INVALID. 215
ARC. It is my brother who has done all the harm.
MR. P. To despise my enema !
ARC. Let it be brought ; I will take it.
MR. P. I would have cured you before long.
Toi. He does not deserve it.
MR. P. I was going to cleanse your body, and drive out
all the bad humours.
ARC. Ah ! brother !
MR. P. And it wanted but a dozen more medicines to
cure you completely.
Toi. He is unworthy of your care.
MR. P. But as you do not wish to be cured by my
hands . . .
ARC. It is not my fault.
MR. P. Since you have withdrawn from the obedience
which a man owes to his physician . . .
Toi. That cries for vengeance.
MR. P. Since you have declared yourself a rebel against
the remedies which I prescribed for you . . .
ARC. Eh, not at all.
MR. P. I must tell you that I give you up to your bad
constitution, to the intemperature of your bowels, to the
corruption of your blood, to the acrimony of your bile,
and to the feculence of your humours.
Toi. That is very well done.
ARC. Oh, Heavens !
MR. P. And I will that in four days you shall be in an
incurable state.
ARC. Ah, mercy !
MR. P. That you fall into a bradypepsia.
ARC. Mr. Purgon !
MR. P. From bradypepsia into dyspepsia.
ARC. Mr. Purgon !
MR. P. From dyspepsia into apepsy.
ARC. Mr. Purgon !
MR. P. From apepsy into lientery.
ARC. Mr. Purgon !
MR. P. From lientery into dysentery.
ARC. Mr. Purgon !
MR. P. From dysentery into dropsy.
ARC. Mr. Purgon !
2l6 THE IMAGINARY INVALID. [ACT IIL
MR. P. And from dropsy into a privation of life,
whither your folly will lead you. 40
SCENE VII. ARGAN, BERALDE.
ARC. Ah, Heavens ! I am dead. Brother, you have
undone me.
BER. Why ! what is the matter ?
ARC. I can hold out no longer. I already feel the ven-
geance of the faculty.
BER. Really,, brother, you are mad ; and I would not
have people see you act as you do, for a great deal. Just
bear up a little, I pray ; be yourself, and do not give way
so much to your imagination.
AEG. You see, brother, the strange diseases with which
he has threatened me.
BER. What a simpleton you are !
ARC. He says that I shall become incurable before four
days are over.
BER. What does it signify what he says? Is it an
oracle that has spoken ? To hear you speak, it looks as if
Mr. Purgon holds in his hands the thread of your life, and
that by a supreme authority he lengthens or shortens it
for you, as it pleases him. Remember that the springs of
your existence are in yourself, and that the wrath of Mr.
Purgon is as little capable of killing you as his remedies
are of keeping you alive. Here is an opportunity, if you
wish, to rid yourself of the physicians ; or if you were
born so as not to be able to do without them, it is easy to
have another with whom, brother, you may run a little
less risk.
ARC. Ah ! brother, he knows my entire constitution,
and the way how to treat me.
BER. I mus: confess to you that you are a man of great
prejudice, and that you look at matters with strange eyes.
SCENE VIII. ARGAN, BERALDE, TOINETTE.
Toi. (7!> Argan). Sir, here is a doctor who wishes to
see you.
40 Brauypepsia is a slow and imperfect digestion ; apepsy is a defective
digestion ; lientery is a diarrhoea, in which the food is discharged only
half digested.
SCENE xii.] THE IMAGINARY INVALID. 217
ARC. And what doctor ?
Toi. A doctor of the Faculty.
ARC. I ask you who he is.
Toi. I do not know him, but he is as like me as two
drops of water ; and if I were not sure that my mother
was an honest woman, I should say that this was some
little brother which she has given me since my father's
death.
ARG. Let him come in.
SCENE IX. ARGAN, BERALDE.
BER. You are served according to your wish. One
physician leaves you; another presents himself
ARG. I greatly fear that you may be the cause of some
mishap.
BER. Again ! You will always harp upon this.
ARG. But look you ! All these diseases of which I know
nothing weigh on my mind ; these . . .
SCENE X. ARGAN, BERALDE, TOINETTE, disguised as a
physician.
Toi. Permit me to pay you this visit, Sir, and to offer
you my small services for all the bleedings and purgings
of which you may be in want.
ARG. Sir, I am much obliged to you. ( To Beralde) .
Upon my word, this is Toinette himself.
Toi. Pray, excuse me, Sir ; I have forgotten to give a
message to my servant ; I shall be back immediately.
SCENE XI. ARGAN, BERALDE.
ARG. Eh? would you not swear that it was really
Toinette ?
BER. It is true that the likeness is very great indeed ;
but it is not the first time that we have seen this kind of
things ; and history is full of these freaks of nature.
ARG. As for me, I am amazed at it ; and . . .
SCENE XII. ARGAN, BERALDE, ToiNETTE. 41
Toi. What do you want, Sir ?
*i " Toinette has doffed her physician's dress so soon that it is difficuf
to believe that she appeared as a doctor before." This note is in the edi
tion of Moliere's works of 1682.
21 8 THE IMAGINARY INVALID. [ACT in.
ARC. How?
Toi. Did not you call me ?
ARG. I? no.
Toi. My ears must have tingled then.
ARG. Just remain here a moment, to see how this phyis-
cian resembles you.
Toi. (Going out). Yes, indeed ! I have business else-
where ; and I have seen him enough.
SCENE XIII. ARGAN, BERALDE.
ARG. If I had not seen them both, I should have be-
lieved it was but one.
BER. I have read of sift-prising instances of these kinds
of likenesses ; and we have seen some of them, in our
own times, by which the whole world has been deceived.
ARG. As for me, I should have been deceived by this
one; and I should have sworn that it was the same person.
SCENE XIV. ARGAN, BERALDE ; TOINETTE, as a phy-
sician.
Toi. Sir, I ask your pardon with all my heart.
ARG. (Softly to Beralde). This is wonderful.
Toi. You will not take amiss, pray, the curiosity which
I had to see such an illustrious patient as you ; and your
reputation, which has spread everywhere, may excuse the
liberty which I have taken.
ARG. I am your servant, Sir.
Toi. I perceive, Sir, that you are looking earnestly at
me. How old do you really think I am ?
ARG. I think that you may be six or seven and twenty
at the most.
Toi. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ! I am ninety.
ARG. Ninety !
Toi. Yes. You observe an effect of the secrets of my
art, to keep myself so fresh and vigorous.
ARG. Upon my word, this is a fine youthful old man
for ninety !
Toi. I am an itinerant physician who go from town
to town, from province to province, from kingdom to
kingdom, in search of illustrious materials for my art, to
find patients worthy of my attention, capable of having
SCENE xiv.J THE IMAGINARY INVALID. 219
applied to them the grand and beautiful secrets which I
have discovered in medicine. I disdain to amuse myself
with these small fry of ordinary complaints, with trifling
rheumatisms and colds, small agues, vapours, and head-
aches. I want diseases of importance, real non-intermit-
tent fevers, with a disordered brain, real purple fevers,
real plagues, real confirmed dropsies, real pleurisies with
inflammations of the lungs ; these are what please me ;
that is where I triumph ; and I wish, Sir, that you had
been given up by all the physicians, despaired of, at the