SCA. The best in the world. You shall see. (Aside).
I shall be even with you for the cheat.
GER. What do you say ?
SCA. I say that your enemies will be taken in nicely.
Get well to the bottom ; and above all take care not to
show yourself, and not to move, happen what may.
GER. Let me manage : I know how to keep myself . . .
SCA. Hide yourself; here comes a swash-buckler who is
looking out for you (disguising his voice). "What ! shall
I not have the delight of killing this G6ronte, and will no
one out of charity point me out where he is?" {To
Geronte in his natural voice}. Do not stir. " Cad6dis !
I shall find him if he were hidden in the bowels of the
earth." {To Geronte in his natural voice). Do not show
yourself. {The counterfeited language is supposed to be
44 THE ROGUERIES OF SCAPIN. f ACT m.
Gascon, the remainder his own). " Ah ! you man with
the sack." Sir. " I will give you a louis if you tell me
where I can find this Geronte." You are looking for M.
G6ronte? "Yes. Zounds, I am looking for him." And
what for, Sir? "What for?" Yes. " Because I want
to cudgel the life out of him, cadedis." Oh, indeed, Sir;
but folks like him do not ordinarily receive cudgel-blows,
and he is not a man to stand that sort of treatment.
" Who ? that booby of a Geronte, that scoundrel, that
blockhead?" M. Geronte, Sir, is neither a booby, nor
a scoundrel, nor a blockhead ; and you ought to speak in
another tone. " How dare you give me any of your in-
solence?" I am defending, as I ought to do, a man of
honour, who is being insulted. " Are you one of the
friends of this Geronte?" Yes, Sir, I am. "Ah! ca-
d6dis, you are one of his friends. So much the better."
(Striking several times on the sack with a stick}. " There,
take this, and that, in his stead." {Shrieking as if he
were being struck). Ah, ah, Sir, that'll do. Ah, ah, Sir,
gently. Ah, gently. Ah, ah, ah. " There, give him
this from me. Adiusias." {Complaining and moving his
back as if he had received some cudgel-blows}. Ah, the
devil take the Gascon ! Ah !
GER. {Thrusting his head out of the sack). Ah, Scapin,
I can endure it no longer.
SCA. Ah ! Sir, I am bruised all over, and my shoulders
pain me dreadfully.
GER. How is that ! It is on mine that he has been
beating.
SCA. No, indeed, Sir, it is my back that he has been
pummelling.
GER. What do you mean? I have felt the blows well
enough, and feel them yet.
SCA. No, I tell you; it is only the end of his stick that
came down upon your shoulders.
GER. You ought therefore to have gone a little farther
away in order to spare me . . .
M The words printed in italics are in the Gascon dialect, which is un-
translatable. Here is a specimen of the first sentence in the original :
Cadedis, je le trouberai, si cahat-il au centre de la terre.
scBNm ii.] THE ROGUERIES OF SCAPIN. 45
SCA. (Pushing his head back again into the sack). Be
careful; here comes another, who has the look of a
stranger. {This by-play is the same as that of the Gascon,
for the change of language and the stage-business]. a "Gone,
I have been running like a Basque, and I cannot find this
devil of a Geronte." Hide yourself well. "Tell me a
little, you mister Gentleman, if you please, do not you
know where this Geronte is, whom I am looking for?"
No, Sir, I do not know where Geronte is. " Tell me
candidly ; I do not want much with him. I only want to
treat him to a dozen or so of cudgel-blows on his back,
and three or four sword thrusts through his breast. " I
assure you Sir, that I do not know where he is. " It
seems to me that there is something moving in this sack."
Not at all, Sir. "I am sure that there is something in
there." Not at all, Sir, "I have a good mind to pass
my sword through this sack." Oh ! Sir, do not do any-
thing of the sort. " Let me look a little what is in there."
That will do, Sir. " How, that will do !" You have no
business with what I am carrying. " And I will have
business with it." You shall not see it. "Ah! what
nonsense is all this." They are some clothes belonging
to me. " Show me, I tell you." I shall do nothing of
the kind. " You shall do nothing of the kind ?" No.
" Then I shall break this stick on your shoulders." I do
not care for that. " Ah you want to play the fool with
me. ' ' {Striking the sack with the stick, and howling as if
he were receiving the blows). Aye, aye, aye. Ah! Sir, ah,
ah, ah, ah. "Till we meet again, this will be a little
lesson to teach you not to be insolent." Ah ' plague on
the jabbering thief! Ah!
GER. {Thrusting his head out of the sack). Ah! I feel
as broken on the wheel.
SCA. Ah ! I am dead.
GER. Why the deuce must they pummel my back?
SCA. {Putting his head back into the sack). Take care ;
11 My foregoing remark as TO the difficulty of rendering provincial
dialect into English applies also to this scene, which is given in an Alsa-
tian accent. Here is the first sentence in the original : Parti I mot courir
comme une Basque, et mot ne pouvre point troufair de tout le jour sti
liable de Gironte.
46 THE ROGUERIES OF SCAPIN. [ACT in.
here is half a dozen soldiers together. {Imitating the
voices of several persons). " Come let us try to find
G6ronte, let us look everywhere. Do not let us stand still
over it. Let us rummage the whole town. Do not let
us miss a single spot. Let us go everywhere. Let us
peep into every nook and corner. Which way shall we
go? This way. No, through here. To the left. To
the right. Not at all. Yes, yes." (To Geronte, in his
natural voice). Hide yourself well. " Ah, mates, here
is his servant. Come, you rascal, you must tell us where
your master is." Ah! gentlemen, do not ill-use me.
" Come, tell us where he is. Speak. Make haste, look
sharp, be quick, speak up." Oh, gentlemen, gently.
{Geronte, thrusts his head softly out of the sack, ana
becomes aware of Scapin's trick). " If you do not help
us to find your master directly, we shall overwhelm you
with cudgel-blows." I prefer suffering everything rather
than show you my master. " We shall beat the life out
of you." Do as you please. "You wish to be cudgelled?"
I will not betray my master. " Ah, you wish to be
beaten? There then ..." Ah ! (As ke is about to
strike, Geronte gets out of the sack, and Scapin runs off.
GER. (Alone). Ah ! infamous wretch ! Ah ! traitor !
Ah! scoundrel ! Is it thus that you assault me?
SCENE III. ZERBINETTE, GERONTE.
ZEF. (Laughing, without perceiving Geronte). Ha, ha !
I must have a breath of air.
GER. (Aside, without seeing Zerbinette). You shall pay
for this, I swear.
ZER. (Without seeing Geronte). Ha, ha, ha, ha ! What
an amusing story ! and what a dupe they have made of the
old man !
GER. There is nothing amusing in it; and you have no
business to laugh at it.
ZER. What is the matter ! what do you mean, Sir ?
GER. I mean that you have no business to make a jest
of me.
ZER. Of you?
GER. Yes.
ZER. How ? Who intends to make a jest of you ?
SCBNSIII THE ROGUERIES OF SCAPIN. 47
GER. Why do you come here to laugh in my very face ?
ZER. This does not concern you at all, and I was only
laughing at a story that I have just been told, the funniest
I ever heard. I do not know whether it is because I am
interested in the matter; but I have never heard anything
more laughable than the trick that has just been played by
a son on his father to get hold of some money.
GER. By a son on his father to get hold of some money?
ZER. Yes. If you are at all curious, you shall find me
ready enough to tell you the tale ; for I am always itching
to retail the stories I know.
GER. Pray tell me this one.
ZER. I do not mind. I shall not risk much by telling
it to you, and it is an adventure that will not long remain
a secret. Fate would have it that I should fall among a
gang of people whom they call gipsies, and who, wan-
dering from one country to another, make it their business
to tell people's fortunes, and to do many things besides.
On reaching this town, a young man happened to see me,
and conceived an attachment to me. From that moment,
he dogged my footsteps ; and at first he was like all other
young men, who think that they have only to speak, and
that at the least word which they say to us, their business
is done ; but he found a resistance which made him some-
what alter his first opinions. He confided his passion to
the people in whose hands I was ; and he found them
willing to leave me to him, in consideration of a certain
sum of money. But the worst of the thing was, that my
lover was in the same position in which we so often find
the majority of young men of good birth, that is, he was
a little short of money. His father, though rich, is a
downright skinflint, the nastiest wretch on earth. Wait
a little. Can I not remember his name? Stop. Perhaps
you can help me. Can not you name some one in this
town, who is noted for being miserly to the last degree?
GER. No.
ZER. There is a ron in his name . . . rente . . .
Or ... Oronte. No. G6 . . . Geronte. Yes, Geronte,
that is it ; that is my shabby individual ; I have got it ;
that is the stingy churl of whom I am talking. To come
to our story, our people wished to get away from this
48 THE ROGUERIES OF SCAPIN. [ACT MI.
town to-day; and my lover was going to lose me for
lack of money, had he not luckily been assisted by the
cleverness of his servant to get some out of his father.
As for the name of the servant, I know it perfectly well.
It is Scapin ; he is a wonderful fellow, and he deserves all
the praise in the world.
GER. (Aside). Ah ! scoundrel that you are !
ZER. This is the trick of which he made use to get the
money out of his dupe. Ha, ha, ha, ha ! I cannot help
laughing heartily when I think of it. Ha, ha, ha, ha !
He goes to this stingy cur . . . ha, ha, ha ; and tells
him that while walking with his son near the port, hi, hi,
they saw a Turkish galley, on board of which they were
invited ; that a young Turk offered them a lunch. Ha ;
that while they were at table, the galley was put off to sea,
and that the Turk had sent him back ashore by himself in
a skiff, with the order to tell his master's father that he
was going to carry his son away to Algiers with him unless
he sent him five hundred crowns immediately. Ha, ha,
ha! Behold my churl, my miser, in the most furious
agonies; and the tenderness for his son struggling
curiously with his avarice. The five hundred crowns re-
quired of him are just so many dagger thrusts levelled at
his heart. Ha, ha, ha. He cannot make up his mind to
tear that sum from his very bowels ; and the pain which
he suffers makes him devise a hundred ridiculous ways of
getting his son back again. Ha, ha, ha. He wants to
send the authorities after the Turk's galley on the open sea.
Ha, ha, ha. He induces his servant to go and offer him-
self to take the son's place, until he has scraped together
the money which he does not intend to part with. Ha,
ha, ha. In order to make up the five hundred crowns, he
is going to sell four or five old suits which are not worth
thirty. Ha, ha, ha. The servant tries at every turn to
show him the preposterousness of his proposal ; and every
reflection is dolefully accompanied by a What the devil
did he want in that galley ? Oh ! confounded galley !
scoundrel of a Turk ! At last after many twistings and
turnings, after having wailed and sighed ever so long . . .
But it seems to me that my story does not amuse you ;
what do you think of it ?
SCENE vi.] THE ROGUERIES OF SCAPIN. 49
GER. I think that the young man is a hangdog, an in-
solent scoundrel, who shall be punished by his father for
the trick he has played him ; that the gipsy is a jade, an
impertinent girl, to insult a man of honour who will teach
her to come here and corrupt young men of quality ; and
that the servant is a rascal who will be sent to the gallows
by Gronte before to-morrow."
SCENE IV. ZERBINETTB, SYLVESTER.
SYL. Where did you go to ? Are you aware that you
have been talking to the father of your lover ?
ZER. I just thought so ; and, inadvertently, I have
been telling him his own story.
SYL. How, his own story ?
ZER. Yes. I was full of the tale, and bursting to tell it
again. But what does it matter ? So much the worse for
him. I do not see that things, so far as we are concerned,
can be mended or marred by it.
SYL. You had a great mind to chatter ; and I call it
talking with a vengeance not to be able to keep one's
own secrets.
ZER. Would he not have found it out from some one
User'
SCENE V. ARGANTE, ZERBINETTE, SYLVESTER.
ARC. {Behind the scenes). Hullo! Sylvester.
SYL. Go indoors. Heje is my master calling me.
SCENE VI. ARGANTE, SYLVESTER.
ARC. So you have put your heads together, you rascals ;
you have arranged between you, Scapin, you and my son,
to cheat me ; and you think that I shall bear it ?
SYL. Look here, Sir, if Scapin cheats you, I wash my
hands of it, and assure you that I have no part nor parcel
in it.
ARG. We shall see about this business, you rogue ; we
* This scene is also partly imitated from The Deceived Pedant of
Cyrano de Bergerac ; but in the latter play, the lady, Genevote, in re-
lating the story to the pedant Granger, knows that he was the hero of it:
whilst Zerbinette does not know Geronte.
50 THE ROGUERIES OF SCAPIN. [ACT HI.
shall see about this, and I do not wish to be treated like a
goose.*
SCENE VII. GERONTE, ARGANTE, SYLVESTER.
GER. Ah ! M. Argante, you behold me overwhelmed
with disgrace.
ARC. You behold me also in a terrible affliction.
GER. That hangdog Scapin, by one of his roguish
tricks, has swindled me out of five hundred crowns.
ARG. That same hangdog Scapin, by a similar roguish
trick, has swindled me out of five hundred pistoles.
GER. Not content with doing me out of five hundred
crowns, he has treated me in a manner which I am
ashamed to tell you. But he shall pay me for it.
ARG. He shall have to give me satisfaction for the trick
he has played me.
GER. And I mean to be signally revenged upon him.
SYL. (Aside). Would to Heaven that I had not had a
share in all this !
GER. But this is not all, M. Argante ; and one misfor-
tune is generally the fore-runner of another. I was re-
joicing to-day in the prospect of having my daughter, who
is my only consolation, with me, and now I have just
heard from my man that she set out a good while ago
from Tarente, and that it is thought that she went dowu
with the vessel in which she embarked.
ARG. But why, pray, did you keep her at Tarente, and
not give yourself the pleasure of having her always with
you?
GER. I had my reasons for this ; and family interests
have obliged me until now to keep my second marriage a
great secret. But whom do I see ?
SCENE VIII. ARGANTE, GERONTE, NERINE, SYLVESTER.
GER. What, you here, nurse?
NER. ( Throwing herself at the feet of Geronte). Ah, M.
Pandolphe ....
18 The original has je ne pretends pas qu'on me fosse passer la plume
par le bee ; because, in order to prevent geese from going through the
hedges, a feather is stuck through the upper part of their beaks.
ScNix.J THE ROGUERIES OF SCAPIN. 51
GER. Call me Geronte, and do not use this name any
longer. The reasons no longer exist which obliged me to
take it among you at Tarente.
NER. Alas ! what troubles and uneasiness this change of
name has caused us in the pains which we took to find you
out here !
GER. Where is my daughter and her mother ?
NER. Your daughter, Sir, is not far from this ; but be-
fore I let you see her, I must beg your pardon for having
married her, in the destitute condition in which I was
with her, through not finding you.
GER. My daughter married ?
NER. Yes, Sir.
GER. And to whom ?
NER. To a young gentleman named Octave, son of a
certain M. Argante.
GER. Oh, Heavens !
ARC. What a coincidence !
GER. Take us, take us quickly to her.
NER. You have only to enter this house.
GER. Lead the way. Follow me, follow me, M.
Argante.
SYL. (Alone}. This is an adventure which is altogether
surprising."
SCENE IX. SCAPIN, SYLVESTER.
SCA. Well, Sylvester, what are our folks doing?
SYL. I have two pieces of news to tell you. The one
is, that the affair of Octave is arranged. Our Hyacinthe
is found to be the daughter of M. Geronte ; and chance
has accomplished what the prudence of the fathers had
planned. The other piece of news is, that the two old
men are threatening Heaven and earth against you ; and
above all M. Geronte.
SCA. That is nothing. . Threats have never done me
any harm; and they are clouds that pass very high over
our heads.
SYL. Take care of yourself. The sons may make it up
with the fathers, and you be left in the lurch.
** This ending again is partly followed from the last scene of Terence's
Phormio.
52 THE ROGUERIES OF SCAPIN. [ACT in.
SCA. Let me manage. I shall find the means of ap-
peasing their anger, and . . .
SYL. Get away, they are coming out.
SCENE. X. GERONTE, ARGANTE, HYACINTHE, ZER-
BINETTE, NERINE, SYLVESTER.
GER. Come, daughter, come home to me. My joy
would have been complete, if I could have seen your
mother with you.
ARG. Here comes Octave, just in time.
SCENE XI. ARGANTE, GERONTE, OCTAVE, HYACINTHE,
ZERBINETTE, NERINE, SYLVESTER.
ARC. Come, my son ; come and rejoice with us in the
happy accident of your marriage. Heaven . . .
OCT. No, father, all your proposals of marriage will be
useless. I must take off the mask with you, and you have
been told of my engagement.
ARG. Yes, but you do not know . . .
OCT. I know all which I ought to know.
ARG. I wish to tell you that the daughter of M.
Geronte . . .
OCT. The daughter of M. Geronte will never be any-
thing to me.
GER. It is she ...
OCT. (To Geronte). No, Sir; I ask your pardon ; my
resolutions are taken.
SYL. (To Octave}. Listen . . .
OCT. No. Hold your tongue. I shall listen to nothing.
ARG. (To Octave). Your wife . . .
OCT. No, I tell you, father; I shall sooner die than
leave my gentle Hyacinthe. ( Crossing the stage to place
himself at the side of Hyacinthe]. Yes, you may do what
you like ; here she is, to whom my troth is plighted. I
shall love her all my life, and do not want another wife.
ARG. Very well ! it is she whom we give to you. What
devil of a madcap who always goes ahead !
HYA. (Pointing to Geronte^. Yes, Octave, here is my
father, whom I have found : and all our troubles are
ended.
THE ROGUERIES OF SCAPIN. 53
GER. Let us go home ; we shall be more comfortable
than here to discuss matters.
HYA. (Pointing to Zerbinette). Ah ! father ; I ask you as
a favour that I may not be parted from this amiable girl
whom you see. Her merits will make you like her, when
you come to know her.
GER. Would you have me harbour a person with whom
your brother is in love, and who just now has insulted me
to my very face?
ZER. I beg of you to excuse me, Sir. I should not have
spoken so, had I known that it was you ; and I only knew
you by hearsay.
GER. How ! only by hearsay ?
HYA. Father, the passion which my brother has for her
has nothing guilty in it, and I answer for her virtue.
GER. That is very good. Would you not have me marry
my son to her? A strange girl, whose profession is to
run about the country.
SCENE XII. ARGANTE, GERONTE, LEANDER, OCTAVE,
HYACINTHE, ZERBINETTE, NERINE, SYLVESTER.
LEA. Father, do not complain any longer that I love a
stranger, without birth or riches. Those of whom I have
bought her have just disclosed to me that she belongs to
this town, and comes of an honourable family, from whom
they kidnapped her at the age of four : and here is a
bracelet which they have given me, and which may help
us to find her parents.
ARC. Alas ! to see this bracelet, it must be my daughter,
whom I lost at the age you mention.
GER. Your daughter ?
ARG. Yes, it is she; and I see in every one of her
features the certainty of it. My dear daughter ! . . .
HYA. Good Heavens ! what extraordinary adventures !
SCENE XIII. ARGANTE, GERONTE, LEANDER, OCTAVE,
HYACINTHE, ZERBINETTE, NERINE, SYLVESTER, CARLOS.
CAR. Alas ! gentlemen, a strange accident has just now
happened.
GER. What is it ?
CAR. Poor Scapin . . .
54 THE ROGUERIES OF SCAPIN. [ACT m.
GER. Is a scoundrel, whom I shall have hanged.
CAR. Alas, Sir ! you will not have the trouble. In
passing by a house they were building, there fell on his
head a stone-mason's hammer, which has broken the bone
and laid bare the whole of his brain. He is dying, and he
has begged to be brought here, to be able to speak to you
before he dies.
ARC. Where is he ?
CAR. Here he comes.
SCENE XIV. ARGANTE, GERONTE, LEANDER, OCTAVE,
HYACINTHE, ZERBINETTE, NERINE, SCAPIN,
SYLVESTER, CARLOS.
SCA. (Carried by two men, his head wrapt round with
bandages, as if he had been wounded}. Aye, aye, gentle-
men, behold me . . . Aye, you see me in a sad condition.
Aye. I did not wish to die before having asked forgiveness
of every one whom I may have offended. Aye. Yes,
gentlemen, before breathing my last sigh, I beseech you
with all my heart, to forgive me for all I may have done
to you; but particularly M. Argante, and M. Gronte.
Aye.
ARG. As for me, I forgive you ; go, die in peace.
SCA. (T0 Geronte}. It is you, Sir, whom I have of-
fended most by the cudgel-blows, which . . .
GER. Speak no longer of it, I forgive you also.
SCA. It was a great audacity on my part, those cudgel-
blows, which . . .
GER. Let us drop that.
SCA. Now that I am dying, it gives me inconceivable
pain to think about those cudgel-blows which . . .
GER. Good Heaven j hold your tongue.
SCA. Those unlucky cudgel -blows which I ...
GER. Hold your tongue, I tell you ; I forget everything.
SCA. Alas ! what goodness ! but is it heartily, Sir, that
you forgive me those cudgel-blows which I ...
GER. Ah ! yes. Let us speak no more about them : I
forgive you everything : there is an end of it.
SCA. Oh Sir, I feel altogether relieved by that word.
GER. Yes ; but I forgive you only on condition that
you shall die.
SCENE xiv.] THE ROGUERIES OF SCAPIN. 55
SCA. How! Sir?
GER. I retract my word, if you recover.
SCA. Aye, aye. There is my faintness coming on again.
ARG. M. Geronte, in return for our joy, you must for-
give him unconditionally.
GER. Be it so.
ARG. Let us all go and sup together, the better to relish
our pleasure.
SCA. And let them carry me to the foot of the table,
while I am waiting for my death.
LA COMTESSE D'ESCARBAGNAS,
COMEDIE.
THE COUNTESS OF ESCARBAGNAS.
A COMEDY IN ONE ACT.
(THE ORIGINAL IN PROSE.)
DECEMBER 20, 1671.
INTRODUCTORY NOTICE.
WE have already stated that during the rejoicing of the second marriage
of Monsieur, the brother of Louis. XIV., with the Princess Charlotte
Elizabeth of Bavaria, the King had given some splendid festivals for the
reception of his sister-in-law, in which several comedies and ballets were
performed, which were called Ballet des ballets?- Moliere was com-
manded to write a comedy in which all the different entertainments, opera
and ballets, should be combined; and hence he wrote The Countess of
Escarbagnas, which was represented before the Court at Saint-Germain-
en-Laye on the zd of December, 1671. There was a prologue and a
pastoral, the whole forming seven acts, each followed by an interlude.
The prologue and interludes were taken from pieces formerly composed
for the Court, such as The Magnificent Lovers, George Dandin, The
Citizen who apes the Nobleman, and the Ballet of the Muses : but it is
not known what these seven acts were, which are mentioned in the official
book of the ballet.
The Countess of Escarbagnas represents nearly all provincials, inhabi-
tants of small towns, with the habits and manners of country louts. The
Countess is not a high-born lady, but the widow of some petty nobleman.
She has been only a short time at Court, but has picked up sufficient
wickedness to allow M. Harpin, one of her three admirers, to pay for the
expenses of her household and her tradesmen. The receiver of taxes
knows, of course, the power of money, and is therefore not so obsequious
to birth as the gentle, gallant counsellor-at-law. He shows, on the con-
trary, his purse-proud vulgarity, and at the same time a certain shrewd-
ness, whilst M. Tibaudier spends his time in writing rubbish, and in mix-
ing law words with his elegant and pretentious phraseology, but in such
a way as not to offend the noble widow. M. Bobinet is a representative
of that class who are obliged, through necessity, to teach, and whose lot,
I am afraid, has not much improved since the days of Moliere. Even