Anthony Trollope.

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Chap. 1 . The Honourable Mrs. Val and I\Iiss

golightly ...... 1

'2. A Day with one of the Navvies —

Morning ...... '^b

3. A Day with One of the Navvies —

Afternoon . . . . . .40

4. A Day with One of the Navvies —

Evening ...... (57

5. Hampton Court Bridge .. . . . >^9

6. Crinoline and Macassar ; or, my Aunt's

Will 10:i

7. Surbiton Colloquies .... 150

8. Mr. M'^Buffer accepts the Chiltern

• Hundreds . . . . . . lOo



Chap. 9. Chtswick Gardens 180

10. Katie's First Ball ..... 206

11. Excelsior . . . . . .231

12. The Civil Service ..... 251


14 Easy is the Slope of Hell . . .290




The first eigliteen moiitlis of Gertrude's married
life were not unliappy, tliOLigli, like all persons
entering* on the realities of tlie world, slie found
much to disappoint her. At first her husband's
society 'was sufficient for her; and, to give him
his due, he was not at first an inattentive hus-
band. Then came the baby, bringing with him,
as first babies always should do, a sort of second
honeymoon of love, and a renewal of those ser-
vices which women so delight to receive from
their bosoms' lord.

She had of course made acquaintances since
she had settled herself in London, and had, in her
modest way, done her little part in adding to the
gaiety of the great metropolis. In this respect
indeed Alaric's commencement of life had some-
what frightened Mrs. l¥oodvrard, and the more



prudent of his friends. Grand as liis official
promotion had been, his official income at the
time of his marriage did not exceed 600/. a year,
and though this was to be augmented occasionally
till it reached 800/. ye4; even with this advantage,
it could hardly suffice for a man and his wife and
a coming family to live in an expensive part of
London, and enable him to "see his friends"
occasionally, as the act of feeding one's acquaint-
ance is now generally called.

But nevertheless Alaric and Gertrude did "see
their friends." They kept a man-servant and
lived altogether in a comme il faut way, consi-
dering that he was only a clerk in the Weights
and Measures, without a fortune, and that her
addition to their joint income was contingent on
the death of uncle Bat. The thousand pounds
which had been produced immediately had, of
course, been expended in honeymooning and
furniture ; and, as far as any one knew, there were
no other means forthcoming than Alaric' s bare

Gertrude, like most English girls of her age, was
at first so ignorant about money that she hardly
knew whether 600/. was or was not a sufficient
income to justify their present mode of living ;
but she soon fomid reason to suspect that her
husband, at any rate endeavoured, to increase it
by other means. We say to suspect, because he
never spoke to her on the subject; he ntver told


her of Mary Janes and New Friendsliips ; or
liinted tliat lie liad extensive money dealings in
connection with Undy Scott.

But it can be taken for granted that no
hnsband can carry on such dealings long without
some sort of cognizance on his wife's part as to
what he is doing ; a woman v/ho is not trusted
by her lord may choose to remain in apparent
darkness, may abstain from questions, and may
consider it either her duty or her interest to
assume an ignorance as to her husband's affairs;
but the partner of one's bed and board, the
minister who soothes one's headaches and makes
one's tea and looks after one's linen, can't but
have the means of guessing the thoughts which
occupy her companion's mind and occasionally
darken his brow.

On the whole, Alaric had hitherto done pretty
v/ell with his shares; he had made money on some,
and had of course lost money on others; the
balance, however, was still considerably on the
right side. But the danger of such success is
this, that a man, especially a young man, becomes
elated by it, and loses his judgment in his
elation. He uses as income that wdiich he should
have added to his capital, looks on success as easy,
and leaves himself unprovided for a reverse.

Much of Gertrude's society had consisted of
that into which Alaric was thrown by his friend-
ship Avitli Undy Scott. There v/as a brother of

B 2


Undy's living in town, one Valentine Scott — a
captain in a cavalry regiment, and whose wife was
by no means of tliat delightfully retiring disposi-
tion evinced by Undy's better half. The Hon.
Mrs. Valentine, or Mrs. Val Scott as she was
commonly called, was a very pushing woman,
and pushed herself into a prominent place among
Gertrude's friends. She had been the widow of
Jonathan Golightly, Esq., umquile sheriff of the
city of London and stockbroker ; and when she
gave herself and her jointure np to Captain Val,
she also brought with her, to enliven the house,
a daughter Clementina, the only remaining pledge
of her love for the stockbroker.

Wlien Val Scott entered the Vv^orld, his father's
precepts as to the purposes of matrimony were
deeply graven on his heart. He was the best
looking of the family, and, except Und}-, the
youngest. He had not Undy's sharpness, his
talent for public matters, or his aptitude for the
higher branches of the Civil Service ; but he had
wit to wear his sash and epaulets with an easy
grace, and to captivate the heart, person, and some
portion of the purse, of the Widow Grolightly.
The lady was ten years older than the gentle-
man ; but then she had a thousand a year, and,
to make matters more pleasant, the beauteous
Clementina had a fortune of her own.

Under these circumstances the marriasre had
been contracted without any deceit, or attempt at


deceit, by eitlier party. Yal wanted an income,
and the sheriff's widow wanted the utmost
amonnt of social consideration which her not very
extensive means would purchase for her. On the
whole, the two parties to the transaction were
contented Vv^ith their bargain. Mrs. Val, it is true,
kept her income very much in her own hands ;
but still she consented to pay Yal's tailors' bills,
and it is something for a man to have bed and
board found him for nothing. It is true, again,
the lady did not find that the noble blood of her
husband gave her an immediate right of entry
into the best houses in London; but it did bring
her into some sort of contact with some few
people of rank and fame ; and being a sensible
woman she had not been unreasonable in her

YVhen she had got what she could from her
husband in this particular, she did not trouble
him much further. He delighted in the Eag and
Famish, and there spent the most of his time ;
happily, she delighted in what she called the
charms of society, and as societj^- expanded itself
before her, she was also, vf e must suppose, happy.
She soon perceived that more in her immediate
line was to be obtained from TJndy than from her
own member of the Gaberlunzie family, and
hence had sprmig up her intimacy with Mrs.

It cannot be said that Gertrude was very fond


of the Honourable Mrs. Yal, nor even of lier
daughter Clementina Golightly, wlio was more of
her own age. These people had become her
^friends from the force of circumstances and not
from predilection. To tell the truth, Mrs. Val,
who had in her day encountered, with much
patience, a good deal of snubbing, and who had
had to be thankful when she was patronized, now
felt that her day for being a great lady had come,
and that it behoved her to patronize others. She
tried her hand upon Gertrude and found the
practice so congenial to her spirits, so pleasantly
stimulating, so well adapted to afPord a gratifying
compensation for her former humility, that she
continued to give up a good deal of her time to
'No. 5, Albany Eovf, Westbourn Terrace, at which
house the Tudors resided.

The young bride was not exactly the woman to
submit quietly to patronage from any Mrs. Val,
however honourable she might be; but for a while
Grertrude hardly knew what it meant ; and at her
first outset the n?.tural modesty of youth, and her
inexperience in her new position made her un-
willing to take offence and unequal to rebellion.
By degrees however this feeling of humility wore
off; she began to be aware of the assumed supe-
riority of Mrs. Yal's friendship, and by the time
hat their mutual affection was of a year's
standing, Gertrude had determined, in a quiet way,
without saying anything io anybody, to put


herself on a footing of more perfect equality with
the Honourable Mrs. Val.

Clementina Golightly was, in the common
parlance of a large portion of mankind, a "doosed
fine gal." She stood five feet six, and stood very
well, on very good legs, but with rather large
feet. She was as straight as a grenadier, and had
it been her fate to carry a milk-pail, she would
have carried it to perfection. Instead of this,
however, she was permitted to expend an equal
amount of energy in every variation of waltz and
polka that the ingenuity of the dancing professors
of the age have been able to produce. Waltzes
and polkas suited her admirably; for she v/as
gifted with excellent lungs and perfect powers of
breathino; ; and she had not much deli.g:ht in
prolonged conversation. Her fault, if she had
one, was a predilection for flirting ; but she did
her flirtations in a silent sort of way, much as we
may suppose the fishes do theirs, whose amours
we may presume to consist in swimming through
their cool element in close contiguity with each
other. "A feast of reason and a flow of soul" were
not the charms by which Clementina Grolightly
essayed to keep her admirers spell-bound at her
feet. To whirl rapidly round a room at the rate
often miles an hour v/ith her right hand out-
stretched in the grasp of her partner's, and to
know that she was tightly buoyed up, like a horse
by a bearing rein, by his other hand behind her


"back, was for lier sufficient. To do tliis, as she
did do it, witliout ever crying for mercy, with
no slackness of hreath, and apparently without
distress, must have taken as much training" as a
horse G:ets for a race. But the training had in no-
wise injured her; and now having gone through
her gallops and. run all her heats for three successive
seasons, she was still sound of wind and limb, and
fit to run at any moment v/hen called upon.

We have said nothing about the face of the
beauteous Clementina, and indeed nothing can be
said about it. There was no feature in it with
which a m^an could have any right to find fault ;
that she was a " doosed fine girl" was a fact gene-
rally admitted ; but nevertheless you might look at
her for four hours conseciitively on a Monday even-
ing and yet on Tuesda^y you would not knov»^ her.
She had hair which was brov/nish an.d sufficiently
silky — and v/liich she wore, as all other such girls
do, propped out on each side of her face by thick
round velvet pads, which, when the waltzing pace
became exhilarating, occasionally showed them-
selves, looking greasy. She had a pair of eyes
set straight in her head, faultless in form and
perfectly inexpressive. She had a nose equally
straight, but perhaps a little too coarse in
dimensions. She had a mouth not over large,
with two thin lips and small v/hitish teeth ; and
she had a chin equal in contour to the rest of her
face, but on which Yenus had not d.eigned to set


a dimple. Nature miglit have defied a French
passport officer to give a description of her, by
which even her ov*^n mother, or a detective police-
man might have recognised her.

When to the above list of attractions it is
added that Clementina G-olightly had 20,000/. of
her own, and a reversionary interest in her mother's
jointure, it may be imagined that she did not
want for good winded cavaliers to bear her up
behind, and whirl around with her with out-
stretched hands.

" I am not going to stay a moment, my dear,"
said Mrs. Val, seating herself on Gertrude's sofa,
having rushed up almost unannounced into the
drawing-room, followed by Clementina ; " indeed
Lady Hovvdaway is waiting for me this moment ;
but I must settle vvdth you about the June flower

'' Oh ! thank you, Mrs. Scott, don't trouble
yourself about me," said Gertrude ; " I don't
think I shall go."

" Oh ! nonsense, my dear; of course you'll go;
it's the show of the year, and the grand- duke is
to be there — Baby is all right now, you know ; I
must not hear of your not going."

" All the same I fear I must decline," said
Gertrude ; " I think I shaU be at Hampton."

" Oh ! nonsense, my dear ; of course you must
show yourself. People will say all manner of
things else. Clementina has promised to meet

B 3


Victoire Jaquetanapes there and a party ol
French people, people of the very highest ton.
You'll he delighted, my dear."

" M. Jaquetanapes is the most delicious
polkist you ever met," said Clementina. "He has
got a new hack step that will quite amaze you."
As Gertrude in her present condition was not
much given to polkas, this temptation did not
have great effect.

" Oh ! you must come, of course, my dear — and
pray let me recommend you to go to Madame
Bosconi for your honnet; she has such darling httle
ducks, and as cheap as dirt. But I want you to
arrange ahout the carriage ; you can do that with
Mr. Tudor, and I can settle with you afterwards.
Captain Scott won't go, of course ; but I have no
doubt Undecimus and Mr. Tudor will come later
and bring us home ; we can manage ver}^ well
with the one carriage."

In spite of her thousand a year the Honourable
Mrs, Val was not ashamed to look after the
pounds, shillings and pence. And so, having
made her arrangements, Mrs. Val took herself
off, hurrying to appease the anger of Lad}^
Howlaway, and followed by Clementina, who since
her little outburst as to the new back step of
M. Jaquetanapes had not taken much part in the

Mower shows are a great resource for the Mrs.
Scotts of London life. They are open to ladies


who cannot quite penetrate the inner sancta of
fashionable life, and yet they are frequented by
those to whom those sancta are every day house-
hold walks. There at least the Mrs. Scotts of
the outer world can show themselves in close
contiguity, and on equal terms, with the Mrs.
Scotts of the inner world. And then, who is to
know the difference ? If also one is an Honour-
able Mrs. Scott, and can contrive to appear as
such in the next day's '' Morning Post," may not
one fairly boast that the ends of society have
been attained ? Wliere is the citadel ? How is
one to know when one has taken it ?

Gertrude could not be quite so defiant with her
friends as she would have wished to have been, as
they were borne with and encouraged by her
husband. Of Undy's wife Alaric saw nothing
and heard little, but it suited Undy to make use
of his sister-in-law's house, and it suited Alaric
to be intimate with Undy's sister-in-law. More-
over, had not Clementina Golightly 20,000/., and
was she not a " doosed fine girl?" This was
nothing to Alaric now, and might not be consi-
dered to be much to Undy. But that far-seeing
acute financier knew that there were other means
of handling a lady's m^oney than that of marrying
her. He could not at present acquh^e a second
fortune in that way; bul? he might perhaps
acquire the management of this 20,000/. if he
could provide the lady with a husband of the


proper temperament. Uncly Scott did not want
to appropriate Miss Goliglitly's fortune ; lie only
wanted to have the management of it.

Looking round among his acquaintance for a
'Riiing parfi for the sweet Clementina, his mind,
after much consideration, settled upon Charley
Tudor, There y^^ere many young men much
nearer and dearer to Undy than Charley, who
might he equally desirous of so great a prize ;
hut he could think of none over whom he might
prohahly exercise so direct a control. Charley
was a handsome gay fellow, and v\raltzed cm
ravir ; he might, therefore, Vvdthout dif&culty
make his way with the fair Clementina. He
was distressingly poor, and would therefore
certainly jump at an heiress — he was delightfully
thoughtless and easy of leading, and therefore
the money when in his hands might prohahly
he manao^eahle. He was also Alaric's cousin, and
therefore, acceptahle.

TJndy did not exactly open his mind to Alaric
Tudor in this matter. Alaric's education Vv^as
going on rapidly ; hut his mind had not yet
received with sufficient tenacity those principles
of philosophy v/hich would enahle him to look at
this scheme in its proper light. He had already
learnt the great utility, one may almost say the
necessity, of having a command of money; he
was heginning also to perceive that money v/as
a thing not to be judged of hy the ordinary rules


wliicli govern a man's conduct. In otlier matters
it behoves a gentleman to be open, above-board,
liberal, and true ; good-natured, generous, con-
fiding, self-denying, doing unto others as he v/ould
wish that others should do unto him ; but in the
'^acquirement and use of money — that is, its use
with the object of acquiring more, its use in the
usurer's sense — his practice should be exactly the
reverse : he should be close, secret, exacting,
given to concealment, not over troubled by
scruples ; suspicious, without sympathies, self-
devoted, and always doing unto others exactly
that which he is on his guard to prevent others
from doing unto him — viz., making money by
them. So much Alaric had learnt, and had been
no inapt scholar. But he had not ^^et appreciated
the full value of the latitude allowed by the
genius of the present age to men who deal suc-
cessfully in money. He had, as we have seen,
acknovvdeclged to himself that a sportsman may
return from, the field with his legs and feet a little
muddy ; but he did not yet know how deep a man
may wallow in the mire, how thoroughly he may
besmear himiself from head to foot in the blackest,
foulest mud, and yet be received an honoured
guest by ladies gay and noble lords, if only his
bag be sufficiently full.

" Eem t' ^ t^ ^^ t-, quocunque modo rem !"
The remainder of the passage was doubtless


applicable to former times, but now is liardly
worth repeating.

As Alaric's stomach was not yet quite suited for
strong food, Undy fitted this matter to his friend's
still juvenile capacities. There was an heiress, a
"doosed fine girl" as Undy insisted, laying pecuhar
strength on the word of emphasis, with 20,000/.
and there was Charley Tudor a devilish decent
fellow, without a rap. Why not bring them to-
gether ? This would only be a mark of true friend-
ship on the part of Undy ; and on Alaric's part,
it would be no more than one cousin would be
bound to do for another. Lookinsr at it in this
light, Alaric saw nothing in the matter which
could interfere with his quiet conscience.

" I'll do what I can," said Undy. " Mrs. Yal
is inclined to have a way of her own in most
things ; but if anybody can lead her, I can.
Charley must take care that Yal himself doesn't
take his part, that's all. If he interferes, it
would be all up with us."

And thus Alaric, intent mainly on the interest
of his cousin, and actuated perhaps a little by
the feeling that a rich cousin would be more
serviceable than a poor one, set himself to work,
in connection with Undy Scott, to make prey of
Clementina Golightly's 20,000/.

But if Undy had no difficulty in securing the
co-operation of Alaric in this matter, Alaric by
no means found it equally easy to secure the co-


operation of Charley. Charley Tudor had not
yet learnt to look upon himself as a marketable
animal, worth a certain sum of money, in conse-
quence of such property in good appearance,
address, &c., as God had been good enough to
endow him withal.

He daily felt the depth and disagreeable results
of his own poverty, and not unfrequently, when
specially short of the Queen's medium, sighed for
some of those thousands and tens of thousands
with which men's mouths are so glibly full.
He had often tried to calculate what would
be his feelings if some eccentric goodnatured old
stranger should leave him, say, five thousand
a-year ; he had often walked about the street,
with his hands in his empty pockets, building
dehcious castles in the air, and doing the most
munificent actions imaginable with his newly-
acquired wealth, as all men in such circum-
stances do ; relieving distress, rewarding virtue,
and making handsome presents to all his friends,
and especially to Mrs. Woodward. So far
Charley was not guiltless of coveting wealth ;
but he had never for a moment tliought of
realizing his dreams by means of his personal
attractions. It had never occurred to him that
any girl having money could think it worth her
•while to marry him. He, navvie as he was, with
his infernal friends and pot-house love, v/ith his
debts and idleness and low associations, v,ith his


saloons of Seville, Ms Elj^sium in Fleet Street,
and Ms Paradise near tlie Surrey Gardens, had
hitherto thought little enough of his own
attractions. No kind father had taught him
that he was worth 10,000/. in any market in the
world. When he had dreamt of money he had
never dreamt of it as accruing to him in return
for any value or worth which he had inherent in
himself. Even in his lighter moments he had
no such conceit ; and at those periods, few and far
between, in which he did think seriously of the
world at large, this special method of escaping
from his difficulties never once presented itself to
his mind.

"When, therefore, Alaric first spoke to him of
marrying 20,000/. and Clementina Grolightly, his
surprise was unbounded.

" 20,000/. !" said Alaric, "and a doosed fine girl,
you know ;" and he also laid great stress on the
latter part of the offer, knowing how inflammable
•was Charley's heart, and at the same time how
little mercenary WTtS his mind.

But Charley vv'as not only surprised at the
proposed arrangement, but apparently also un-
wdKinp; to enter into it. He ars^ued that in the
first place no girl in her senses would accept him.
To this Alaric replied that as Clementina had not
much sense to speak of, that objection might fall
to the ground. Then Charley expressed an idea
that Miss Grolightly's friends might probably


object ^vlien tliey learnt wliat were the exact
pecimiary resources of tlie expectant husband;
to which Alaric argued that the circumstances of
the case were very kicky, inasmuch as some of
Clementina's natural friends w^ere already pre-
possessed in favour of such an arrangement.

Driven thus from tAvo of his strongholds,
Charley in the most modest of voices, in a voice
one may say quite shame-faced and conscious of
its master's vv^eakness-^suggested that he was not
quite sure that at the present moment he was
very much in love with the lady in question.

Alaric had married for love, and was not
two years married, yet had his education so far
progressed in that short period as to enable him
to laugh at such an objection.

" Then, my dear fellow, what the deuce do you
mean to do with, yourself? you'll certainly go
to the dogs."

Charley had an idea that he certainly should ;
and also had an idea that Miss Clementina and
her 20,000/. might not improbably go in the same
direction, if he had anything to do with them.

" And as for loving her," continued Alaric,
" that's all my eye. Love is a luxmy which
none but the rich or the poor can afford. We
middle class paupers, who are born Vvdth good
coats on our backs, but empty purses, can have

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