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QUIPS AND CRANKS - 1913 (Volume 17) online

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Graham, R. S.
r Graham, R. S.


1907-08


Edgertox, X. B.


Pharr, W. W.




1 Pollard, J. V.


1908-09


Elliott, W. A.


McRae. J. A.




Levine, J. H.
r Simmons, F. M.


1909-10


Kluttz, D., Dunn, L.


Lynch, D. A.




1 Elliott, W. A.


1910-11


Kluttz. D.


BarrOxN, J. R.




Simmons, F. M.


1911-12


BooE, E. L.


BOSWELL, H. R




Holladay


1912-13


Graham, E. H.


DuBose, p. W.




Cook, W. T.



Baseball



Year


Captain


Manager


Coach




1894-95


Bowmann, a. P.


Dodge, F. W.






1896-97


Smith, H. C.


WOODSIDE, J. D.






1899-00


Wharton


Cely, S. L.






1 900-0 r


Brown, J. D.


Watt, W.






1901-02


Bailey, J. S.


Spratt, F. K.


Brewin, J. A.




1902-03


Kirkpatrick, W. TT.


Mills, A. L.






1903-04


You NT, E.


Bowman, H. E.






1904-05


Bailey, W. T.


Bealle, S. G.


Williams, C.


R.


1906-07


(iuERRANT, W. U.


Fetzer, R. A.


Graham




1907-08


Sherrill, E. a.


McDowell, R.


Pollard, T. V




1 908-09


Clark, C. S.


Edgerton, N. B.


Barr, H.




1909-10


Clark, C. S.


Sharpe, F. a.


Barr, H.




1910-1 1


Kli'ttz. Dewitt


Moore, T- P.


Garman




191 1-12


Graham, E. H.


McCants. C. S.


Guerrant. W.


U


19 r 2- 13


Graham, K. TI.


Wilkinson, L. H.


Cook, W. 'J\





^m



IV r



qUIR5 2c CR^NK5



Si




Atl^lcfic Managers



r. W, DuBosE ,

G. A. Howell

1 W. S. Gin iiKisr

1.. H. W'lLKlXSUX.



Football

Baskct-lnill

Track

Basebiill



M



/■■^-



qUIR5 Sc CRANK5



i=L




VarsUxj Baseball Team, 1912

\\ . r. (jLERRANT

C. S. McC.WTS.

v.. H. Gkaiiam. -

I'liARK first Base

\\ iiiTExniR Second Base

BoswKLL Shortstof^

McCants - -Third Base

Kluttz Left Field

Graham X'cntcr field

Richardson' Right field



Coach

Manager
..Cnptain



Siler
Bell

OSTEEN

\\"o



EEN i

u-v. )



Pitchers



Elliott ) Catchers

Morris )

Yates. Cravton Utility







PR5 & CRANIO njl^Hfl^jgyg



A Word '\Y\ Advance

Season o{ 1913

■ ^^^ ^ HEX Coach Cook issued the lirst ca.l for hasdiall candidates this Spring,

^k ^M ■ forty cnibryo-Icagucrs responded proniplly. togctlicr with a few veterans.

^ 3JX WIk'H these husky youngsters began tn limber n|i and get their eye on the

liall, the word was passed around the Campus that things w-ere looking

good tliis year. The scribes have interviewed the Coach, Init he is as silent as VVoodrow

Wilson; so we have to prophesy a little on our own account. And as a prophet is not without

honor save in his own country, we are planning to move. With the inspiration furnished by

the big leaguers. Cashion and Booe, together with their material age and coaching, we hope

to instill a spirit into this team like that of yore Tf fighting spirit and tenacity will aid us,

we are sure tliat Captain Graham is the man to lead us through a victorious season.

Of last year's squad, we have Graham, Whitener, Kluttz, Bell, Osteen, Elliott,
Crayton, Wolfe, and Mowell. Among the most promising youngsters are Witherington.
Brown, Morrow and Alford. Manager Wilkinson's confidence in the team is well proved
by the long and rather difficult schedule tliat he has arranged Here's hoping that it may be
a successful one.




Bf^e.



Baseba\t Schedule

SiCAso-N 01' ]yi3

March 21 — Catawba College, at Davidson.
M.irch 22 — Buffalo League Team, at Davidson.
.Marcli 24 — Winston League Team, at Winston
March 25 — University of South Carolina, at Columbia.
March 26 — University of South Carolina, at Columbia.
March 27— WofYord College, at Spartanburg.
March 28— Oak Ridge, at Davidson.
M.irch 31— Elon College, at High Point.



.\pril
April
.\])ril
April
.\pril
.\pril
April
.\pril
April
April
April
,\pril
Ai)ril
.Mav



I— .A. and M., at Raleigh.

5 — University of Xorth Carolina, at Charlotte.

7 — Guilford College, at Greensboro.

8— Wake Forest College, at Wake Forest.

0— University of Xorth Carolina, at Chapel Hill.
12— A. and ^L, at Charlotte.
14 — Trinity College, at Durham.
15— Washington and Lee University, at Lexington
16 — Washington and Lee University, at Lexington.
17 — L'niversity of Virginia, ;it Charlottesville.
22— Wake Forest College, at Davidson.
29 — Trinity College, at Concord.
30 — Virginia Polytechnic Institute, at Davidson.
7— Wotiford College, at Davidson.



m^




QUIRS & CRANKS ity 1 ^3 1


lH.



^ ,. _


'^v^^^


'< 1;.~£ J







LcsV Wc Forget

igio — Richardson's toiiclidown against \ortli Carolina.

1910 — Davidson College, 53: South Carolina, o.

igio — Kooc's tifty-yard pimting against Wake Forest in Charlotte,

igil — Tabor's home run with three hascs full at Durham.

1911 — Boswell's hoiue run against South Camlina at Greenwood.

191 1 — Cashion struck out fourteen men. anil gave up three hits, against .\,

igii — Richardson makes sixty-yard run against .Vnrtli Carolin,i, re])ealin

his feat of the year previous.
1911 — Booe's sixty-five yard run ihnnigh llu- whole Soinh Carcilin.i le.nn
lyil — VVilliford's forty yard run on ,in attempted pass against .Mahania
1912 — Graham's base-running against Wake Forest on the Mill.
1912 — Peter's catch on kick-off in Charlotte.

1912 — Graham intercepts Wake h'oresl's pass, and runs sixty-five yar<ls for touchdown
r9i3— !!!!????.



an.l M.-
iii some

.It C'oUnul
ill llirnn'n



and lost,
respects

lia.

.uh.'ini




ATHLETIC FIELD



M



md



qUIRS !^ CRANK5



jE4



M




[5.W.CARR

Track

F. L. FuLLi-R Caf'tain

J. W. S. Gilchrist '..Manager

W. T. Cook Coacli



i






qUIR5& CRANKS



tt;




Track

^"^^^^ I II''. track season for llic Sprint; of n;i2 could hardly he called a failure.

^ ^^ We were represented at one meet, the State Meet at Raleigh, where

^^^^ we were against such competitors as Carolina under the coaching of

"Hloody Xat" Cartmell. Wake Forest, and .\. and M. Well, we

went to Raleigh, looked 'em over, anfl — well, we didn't "tail-end": hut don't

press us for further information.

Uut most of us are hack at it again this year, and with the addition of
several promising new men, things look brighter in this ilepartment than they
have for quite a while. We are fortunate in having .Mr. W. T. Cook as coach
this vear. and with his valuable assistance and hearty co-o])eration on the part
of the squad we should he able to give a good account of ourselves in the meets
this year. The schedule has not been ([uite completed, but so far we have meets
with'the Charlotte \' . M, C. A. at Davidson; S. C. P. C. at Clinton; South Caro-
lina at Columbia: and pr(.)balil\- Wake Forest in Charlotte.

^ ^ 4,

Sta^:c Track MccV

too Yards Fuller, GiLciiKisr. and Wili.ii-'ouo

220 Yards Fllli-:r and Willi ford

440 Yards Xicels and White

880 Yards White and DtTRosE

i\Iile Rovn and R.\xsom

Two :\Iiles Boyd

High Jump Johnson

Pole \'ault DuBosE

1 20- Yard liurdles Tiiompsox

220- Yard Hurdles (jIUHrist and Willi ford




EQiID!HlEpg ^'^''^'"iiH»n









VarsU\j Basket- Ball Team



W. T. Cook..



, Coach G. A. Howell Manager

L. Whitev Captain

\\hite Left Fonvard Booe Right Forzi-ard

Carson, Cashion Center

Howell - Left Guard Spruxt Right Guard

VarsiVvj Basket-Ball Sckedule— 1912-13

Davidson vs. Asheville Y. J\I. C. .\.

Davidson vs. Asheville School Davidson vs. Wake Forest

Davidson vs. University of North Carolina

Davidson vs. .\. and I\l.




<
n



iW



Ml



QUIRS S: CRANKS



iiz



Js-t,



SI



Class Basket -Ball Teams



Senior Baskct-Ba\l Team

J, T. \\k \KN Captain

W. C. Jamison... Mainu/cr

MiNTEK .\.\i) J.\MIS()N Fonvards

BooE Center

Wearn and Simmons Guards

Ferran Utiiitv



Junior BasUet-Bal) Team

I>". J. TTav Captain

l\. v. llKOWNLEE Manager

\[.\\ and Gir.iHix Forwards

H.M.TiwANGER Center

Rumple and \\'(i(M).< Guards

Brownlee Utilitx



So^Vi Baskct-BaW Team

J. C. McDonald Captain

J. S. Gilchrist Manager

McDonald .\nd Rorekts Forwards

Robinson Center

Gilchrist .\nd O'CoNNELL-.-Gitarrf^
Belk Utiiitv



Fresh BaskeV-BaW Team

Carson Manager

CuRRv Captain

Carson and Mack Forwards

CuRRV Center

Edgerton .\nd Riivne Guards



A\\-C\ass Baskc4^-Ba\l Team

Hay and McDonald Forwards

BooE Center

Rumple Utility

W'earn and RmxE Guards




SENIOR I'.ASKKT-HALL TRAM




J UN iOK liASKK'I-HAI.I, Tl'.AM









4


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A




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ix




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ff'i°


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^P{-, - *^Tr^-"





SIll'lloMdKI'. I'.ASKI'.r-r.Al.l. -w.xw




ruKSiiMAX ii.\SKi:i-r..\i.i. ticam



1 BIBT ntrn nqmgs & cranks! I [ KtN ll^i ij 1




WrcsHcrs* Club



W. T. Cook. Coach
Hill, F. A.
Hill, T, M.
McCaskill

IjOSWF.LL

BOGGS

RlIVXE

W IIITK, R. C.

COPELAND



M. Will IPK & CRANKS \\\\r UJWlM




B



W



oxers



Club



'I'. Cook, Coach
Simmons

OSTEEN

Daniels

CoKHETT

Trotter

Klittz
llii.i.. T. M.
lIiLi.. F. A.

Carson



^






qUIRS & CRANKS







ennis



Club



O. S. Crawford

J. W. Williamson.
J. R. MiXTKR, Jr



President

Manager

Assistant M anaijer




wftR.



MEMBERS

Johnson
DuBosE

PiM

Ratchford

Bailey

Crawford, O. S.

Bell

Caldwell, -M. H.

James

Ml.XTEK, II. k.

Willi AMst).\, j. W

Rampley

m inter, j. r.

Archer

Sprunt

Thompson, F. F.

Tl'krentine

Trotter

Crawford, Z. J.

Sandifer

Bowman

Carson, W. C.

Kerr, \V. C. D.

Woods



E



Csl



V r



qUIRS & CRANKS





I ennis

J •" S is the custom each year, the tennis tournament is held in Octohcr, allowing

^L^m i-veryone to get in some practice during the month of September. The tourna-

W B ment this year was very interesting and hotly contested. White and Crawford

■^ " ' finally winning out in doubles. In the single tournament, which immediately

tiillowed, some very spirited playing was indulged in. until Crawford, who has held the

cliampionship for the two years previous, succeeded in winning again.

In November, an intercollegiate meet was held with Erskine on the home courts
which proved disastrous for Davidson, Erskine winning by a decisive score, capturing both
the doubles and singles. In the Spring, games with two South Carolina colleges are con-
templated, and also with two or three colleges in Xorth Carolina.

Pim, who was runner-up in the tournament, has taken the place of White. This
combination of the long and the short should be able to overcome former weaknesses. There
has been a marked increase in interest in regard to tennis in the several past seasons, and
with our improved equipment we hope to win some honors for old Davidson in this line
of sport.



i



M



qUIR5 & CRANKS










mi




|VIIM@TEK'0



VarsUyj Gyjmnas'ium Team

OFFICERS

J. G. TiiACKER, '14 Captain J. R. Mintek, '13 Manager

W. T. Cook Coach'



TEAM



I'. IIklk. '15

Iv C. MiRRAY, '14

W. L. Boccs, '15

J. R. MiNTKK, '13



J. E. Cakiicu, '15

T. \<. .M( Xkii.i., 'if)

j. W. v^. (jiL( iiNisr, '15

J. G. 'J' 1 1 At KICK, '14



ijiiDfflfipgiBMnDvCiii



Wearers o{ \\^e "D"



Football

Casiiion- Coshy Graham

I l(]\\ i;i.i, .Mc(_)i'i-:i-:.N 1'i-;ii:ns

l\H II XNDSOX TODU I'llll'I'S

WoI.FiC F^HAKR ^■A•H•;S lidOK

Baseball

Casiikin C.rminm W'iiitexer

Kirrrz ku ii ahhson McCants

Sii.i:k I'iiark I'.nswia.i.

I')C)oi-:

Track



Gilchrist
DitBosic



Casiiion
Fuller



.(. 4- 4.

«D. C." Men

Football

Anderson P.rowxlee Ca.mphell

Clary Ftller Howell

.McWiiiRiER Morrow O'Coxxell

RoHERSox Sally Thompsox

\ax Deyaxter White Witherixotox

CrXXIXGHAM

Baseball



Cra^tox

Howell .

Osteex



■.LLIOTT

White
Bell



Duxx

\' ATFS

r.ARKY Wolfe







PnOlilRS & CRANKS [ I ptp




Mij HcarV Dotii



Break, break, break
.11 tliy i/reat barred doors. P. C!
And 1 -icoiild that my exes inif/Itt 7>.<itiiess
My eolleije dif'uiitx.

(). ■ieell far the iiiesseu(/er box.
I'or teUu/rains earrx he max!
O 7i.r// for the old fruit man
Who peddles there ei''rx dax!



Tlie faculty stern look on

As under thy r/ray 'nvlls I sigh;

But oh. for the "i'az'e of a daring hand.
And the leink of a zeomanly eye!



Break, break, break.
Thy restricting rules, P. C!
But minus permission it's useless to trx.
So it's back to f>. C. for me.




WnLTrnHa-ncsn



THE

COLLEGE LEXICON

FOR HOME USE



A FOOLISH AND FRANTIC CO.M IMITATION

OF

DA\1DS( )X SLAXG

FOR

THE AI'PRECIATI\'E DISGL'ST OF

TGXORAXT FRI]':XDS AND RELATR'ES



DISTRIBUTED FREE



PERPETRATED

BY SOME LAZY BOXEHEAU W I K ) HAD

NOTHING ELSE TO DO. AND

PUBLISHED IN THE INTERESTS OF

THE ENGLISH COURSE

AT D. C.



IIIGIIIA'
COMMI'.XDEI) AXI) kl'.CoMM I'.XDI'.D



Rl'A iSEl-> EDl'JTON



^IBT n vC! 1 1 Q""S ^ CRANig]




Ai.i.i-;v « — Commonly called •■'I'lic Alk-v" or "I I. Alley." A floor in Main ISuild-
ing where congenial spirits congregate, pray. sing, and plot.



r>iT II — 12^2 cents, as. "lend me two hits."

Bjtk V — To seize gullibly. Sometimes used in the passive sense, as. ''to yet bit."

Blow z' — ( i ) To exude gas of a high temperature, as. "Usten to him blow."

( 2 ) To squander, to waste, as. "Cee. but he hhncs it in."
Bo.VE z' — To crack hard and 'aboriouslv.
Boner ii — One who bones.

BoNEHEAo ;; — One who has to bone: a knight of the solid ivory.
Bof)TLiCK 7' — To assiduously bow down to.
Bootlicker ii — One who bootlicks.

Bop z- — To be thrown, as, "He bopped me on that re-exam."'
Bill t' — ( This word originated with our former President, who ]iut the bull in

the Bulletin. ) To hand out dope. as. "to bull the prof."
Bull ii — The line of do])e handed out.
Bull Artist ii — An adept in the art of hull-slinging.
Bust f — To fail, to flunk, as, "I busted on Polit.''
Burn* z' — To get scorched ; usually in the sense "I got burnt.''



C.\Lico II — (Genus, homo: gender, feminine.) A marvelous and bewitching

creature. (See Flossie.)
C-\ndid.\te ;/ — A traveler of the straight and narrow path. Antonym, mora' leper.
Cinch n- — A snap: something easily grasped. Commonly used with the adjective.

leadpipe. as, "Prep. Greek is a leadpipe cinch."
Crack z' — To open for the purpose of seeing the interior. Much used by studs

in the expression, "haven't cracked a lid."
Cold Feet ;; — A disease marked by the lack of courage, and especially jireva'ent

before football games. The adjective, cold-footed, is frequently used.
Cr.\m z' — To stutt hurriedly, as, •"I'm craiiiniiiu/ Greek."
Crip » — Superlative degree of cinch. See cinch.
Cut c' — To slight, to skip, hence to miss. as. "Let's cut Chapel."
Cutter n — One who cuts a figure. ( For emphasis a p is sometimes placed before.

as p-cutter or p.-c.)



^W51






qUIRS & CRANK5



=^■■4. i



JiJ



2



Die, f — To dehe, to crack witli a \ini. hence to boitc.
Doi'E )i — (I ) Coco-cola.

(2) Bombastic garrulity, intlated loquacity, bull.
Dope t'— To bull.
Dummy ii — ( i ) Something- to be tackled.

( 2 I A less emphatic form of bonehead.
Dump v — To fiendishly disturb one's horizontal position between the sheets-
a pastime peculiar to Sophomores.



Ease z' — To slip one o\er. \"ery etfectively used thus: "1 kinder cased one over

on you, kid."
Et V — A term used in Senior Bible, synonomous with ate.
Eat V — To grate, to annoy, to bore, as, "He cats on me."



Fire n — An interjection used to denote the presence of cali-co.

Flunk v — To throw, to pitch, to make below the pass mark, as, "He flunked me."

Flossie n — A much-prized and rare sjiecimen of femininity which appears in

great droves Commencement and Junior Speaking.
F.\ll V — (See flunk. )



Gas n — Highly generated matter of remarkable emptiness.

Gibe v — To break off in. as. "Cut your (jibing."

Gibe n — An incisive remark.

GiisER n — One who indulges in (jibiny. i See second door to the left as you

enter Chambers. )
GoA'!' ;; — Indefinable, but commonly used in the expression — "Slie gets my ijoat."

. hu/ora is synonomous.
(iRE.sSE V — 'I'o anoint. (>enerall\- used with "slide under."
Gri.vd V — To bone.



H



Hot Air ii — (See (/as and dapc 2.)



IllgT nffl IiQmPS & CRANKS



iT;



-iy-



m



|a( K II — Tlial which one rides. Svnonvms: ponv. handv literal, interlinear (See

Hinds & Xohle).
Jack t' — To ride a jack.
jiT II — P'ive cents.

K

K.vficK lX)\v.\ I' — To introduce to, as. "kiiuck iiic dozen to that Flossie."



Lai)V-Kill1':k n — Heart-smasher, dead-jjanie sport. ( For further information,

see Cute Williamson. )
Lid " — ( I ) A book, as. "1 haxen't cracked a //(/."

(2) A hat. a skypiece, as. "That's some lid you are pulling off on us."'
Loosen L'p v — To be liberal, as. "Loosen up. and let's go to Skit's. "

M

^L\SH 11 — An ini])ression made on the feelings of the opposite sex; as "lie's made

some mash on her."
Moral Leper ;; — One who defiles the moral atmosphere with immoral intonations.

( Specimen exceedingly rare, and fast becoming extinct. )



XiKTv adj — Xobby, natty.

( )i'E.\' L'p I' — (See loosen up).



N
O



Pass i' — To get through, not to flunk: as "He passed Soph. Math."
Pe.vch ;; — ( i ) A variety of fruit generally seen at Junior Speaking.

(2) A term applied to anyone or anything especially good in its line.
Pep ;; — S|)ir!t, enthusiasm ; something lacking in most College undertakings.
Pimp ;; — A term applied to pusillanimous masculinity: as "He's a pimp.''
Pippin n — (See peach).
Pitch z' — To throw, to cause to flunk.

Plunk n — A wheel, a bone, a simoleon: eight bits: as "Lend me three plunks."
Prep n — Title applied to certain instructors ; as f'rep. Davis.

adj — A de])artment of College for the mentally feeble.
Punk adj — Bum. unworthy its price of admission.



Ride z' — To use a jack or pony ( For particulars, see F. W. Price).
RiPSNORT z' — To excel, to go South.

Rush z' — To pay special attention to someone. Sometimes used as substantive;
as "He gave her a grand rush.''



^m



M



qUIR5 2c CRANK5



-AS'
I,



2



Shoot f — To answer correctly on class: as "He sliot the wadding; out of Dr. — ."

Sometime used in opposite sense as "He got shot." Tliis use is rare,

however.
Skix t' — To get through by a narrow margin.
So.\K t' — To borrow or collect from, as "He soaked me for two bits." Sometimes

used in card games, as "He's soaking his chips. '
Sxii'E II — ( I ) A bird of wily inclinations.

( 2 ) A term applied to those who give chase to this coy fowl.
( 3 I Snipe Turner.
Spiel Z' — To expel hot air; to indulge in bull.
Spot n — A section or question loved of yore by professors for reviews or exams;

as 'I'hat's a sure spot in Chemistry."'
Stixg z' — (Used in sense of to get stung, meaning to get b'.t. to get left).
Stcd It — One especially good in anything; as "i'owman sure is a stud ni

Astronomy."
Stucer ;; — Slang for stud.
Stuxt II — A characteristic act.



Throw !■ — To pitch, to cause to fail; as "He threw me on liible,"
TiGHTw.VD n — One wlio nexer loosens up: one of miserly inclinations.



^jp ;( — ( I ) A thick, black, \ iscous lluid. Highlv indigestible, and the niainstav
of P. C.
(2) Zip Watkins.




iTIi^T J]\rf\\ !QUIR5 & CRANKS




Tlic Houseboat on VV»c Sivjx

IT was the fourili <il July. j<jHj. ami ilic llui'stbuai. sailing >in.juilily on the Styx, with
a fair breeze heliind her, was gaily bedecked with Stars and Stripes. My shade was
chattering and shimmering on the bank, but it was some time before the captain of
the Houseboat caught my s gna'.

Iinagine my deKght on finding that the antedated Ch.iroii had 1)een supplanted by
Holtzclaw. who stood prominently upon the deck sending out his smile to greet me across the
waters, a smile still fiendish, and uncanny now. especially as being on the pale face of the
shade. Nevertheless, the face was fami.iar. and my shade rejoiced at the meeting. They
embraced as only shades may, though I turned my eyes ever to avoid this new Charon's grin.

.\ door opened somewhere on the boat, and a series of ear-splitting yells and whoops
rent the air.

■"What on earth r " cried I.

"That H Alley bunch again." sa'd Ho'.tzclaw: "they smile so very loud."

"Indeed, those were ratl.cr healthy grins." 1 replied.

"You may hear them day and night." said Ho'.tzc'aw.

Af.er I had paid my fare— and indeed I paid liberaky. for that bank wliere I'd been
waiting was so grimy, and dark, and chilly, and oozy — the proud captain led me to the
reception-rooms.

"Those are two authorities on the constitution of the United States." my kind guide
told me.

Looking into the room I saw two shades in high wrangle. One was Benjamin
Kranklin ; the other a classmate of mine. Socrates .Williams.

"Ben, old boy," I overheard Soc say: "you played thunder with that constitution
you made, you and those other guys. It's the most tarnacious mess of junk I ever saw."

"Soc," said Benjamin: "I did my best. I confess we might have beat it if you had
been there to give us a little constitutional bull, but bygones are bygones, my lad, and you
and I did the best we could by our nation "

Passing on. we came to a very classical-looking room, wherein sal two Greek stu-
dents. One I recognized as Homer; the other as Robert Guthrie.

"Koi OS." I heard Homer venttre forth on a sentence of conversation.

"Wait, wait," said Guthrie : "what does that first word mean ? "

"I thought you knew Greek," said Homer, much displeased at an interri-p.ion so
early in his speech.

"Indeed, I do," replied Guthrie: "but one can fail to know one word occasionally,
can't he? "

"Well," said Homer; "that first word means 'and'; now to contime, Kal os — "

"Wait, wait." cried Guthrie; "I hate to interrupt again, but what does that second
word mean ? "






qUIRS 8: CRANKS






"Xow. now, now — " >it;lK-tl Umiier, "this is riiliculous: 05 means — "

But here we were interrupied hy a conple of ladies who came slipping down the
hall like a whirlwind, in a word comhat.

"Miss Kerr and Cknpatra," whispered Holtzclaw ; "quarreling over the attentions
of poor old Bill Taft."

"Indeed, I'm more fascinating," Cleopatra was saying

"But what a lovely smile I have!" said Miss Kerr.

Passing on, we ran across another acquaintance of mine, and really tlie wit here
exhibited, contrasted to that which had occurred to the shame of my college mate, was
uplifting. Cicero sat in a mission-furniture settle, holding the hand of Madame Murphy.

"My dear," said he: "how did you like my last oration at Wilson's inauguration?"

"Wliy it was perfectly absurd and preposterous," said he. "Vou don't know the
rudiments of Latin. Why, in the first sentence you missed two cases; in the fifteenth
sentence you left out one letter on your verb ; and in the last sentence of the conclusion you
had a plural verb following a singular noun."

And Cicero hung his head. I gloried in my schoolmate, the product of my Alma
Mater. Holtzclaw and I then gave fifteen "Rahs" for Davidson, at which Dr. Johnson was
much bored, but Roosevelt was much pleased, and grinned profusely, as did also Josephus
and Philip of Macedon.

Someone whose face was invitingly familiar passed by yelling out the advertisement
of a hammer throw for the afternoon between Cashion and Hercules. The herald came
nearer, and I recognized "Donkey," and in his hand was a cuspidor into which he requested
that all bacilli be deposited. Alfred the Great rolled a quid of "Kind Pa chews" to his left
jaw, and spat long and loud, begging pardon of Sister Bowman, whose modesty was much
shocked. I noticed Xantippe rise and leave the room in disgust, whispering very loudly to her
seatmate. Madame de Stael, that such things were not done in public when she was a girl.

Socrates looked tnuch frightened. "Oh — tonight — " he groaned ; "my dear friend.
Miss Carrie Nation, do appease her."

We sat down then to a meal of ambrosia a la Ganymede, and Georgia yams, a(
devouring which Mr Joe Watkins and Fletcher ran a close race.

1 could hear Enoch I'"aw and Harriman conversing near me.

"Enoch." said the railroad magnate; "there is nothing quite so indicative of Inisiness


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