and if there was anything Alice Burr excelled in,
it was her dainty pastry and exquisite desserts.
She had something entirely new, and the bishop
must be made one of the company. The brothers,
who had started for business, had forgotten their
bags, and returned. They found it difficult to
leave that happy home, their pretty wives enticing
them. One had put on her long white working
apron, reaching to her chin, and was standing
before a high desk upon which was pinned the half
finished plans of the tenements ; the other had a
like apron, and was getting together the materials
for the pastry. It was a scene that explained the
reason why the Burr brothers longed to get home,
and why they were so anxious to have their friends
come with them, and occupy the empty chairs
which were always placed at the table.
When the brothers were seen returning, the wives
exchanged places, and Alice affected a knowledge
of lines and angles while Enid seemed to love
pastry making. But their little snare miscarried ;
the baby was brought in and defeated their plans
ingloriously, and the brothers were pushed out
upon the veranda and the door bolted after
The conversation at the table turned upon social
" We will have taken a great stride in the solu
tion of this matter," said Ai, " when we are wise
enough to apply to the slums the same principles
and the same common sense that the farmer does
in raising his choice fruits or breeding his cattle."
At this the bishop looked up but said nothing, he
did not seem to understand, and so directed his
attention again to his plate.
" Very true," interjected Mr. Summers, the
electrician, and the friend of Edison ; "the sooner
we apply scientific principles in all these matters,
the better. Man is an animal ; there are grades
of course, but he is an animal, and subject to laws,
and we must recognize them."
''I propose to do so," continued Ai, "and
will raise my people in the slums on scientific
principles,, just like a herd of cattle."
At this the bishop looked up again, but it was only
momentarily ; he said nothing. Then Alice asked
sweetly whether they were not a little better than
" That is just what I think ; a great deal better ;
xnd therefore we should seek to treat them at least
as well as cattle, which is hardly the case at
present ; I cannot, however, go into that matter
now, but only refer you to the interesting fact of
Mr. Midas's stable, which he has built with all
the modern improvements ; and then the other in
teresting fact, the place which his stable boy sleeps
in down in the slums ; but I am sure Midas does
not know it ; even he would alter matters if he
"What are some of your scientific principles?"
asked the friend of Edison.
" We must lay it down as a hard and fast rule
that humanity as we find it in the slums can only
be improved on principles of Natural Selection."
" By that, you mean what ? "
" That men can be improved only by aiding and*
cultivating the fittest ; the farmer would say, by
killing off bad stock, and carefully crossing the
best stock, and giving them scientific attention
with regard to housing and feeding. The gardener
would say, by rooting out and burning up the
weeds, and giving plenty of room thereby .to the
goed plants, that need nourishment and careful
The eye of the scientist twinkled. Alice felt
bewildered at the bloodshed suggested. Enid
thought the plan of proper housing a sound one.
The bishop had ceased listening, in his efforts
to do justice to the feast which Alice so carefully
" First of all, we must kill off the diseased and
maimed cattle, and then secondly we must breed
carefully the fittest ; these are the two lines of
action ; and it must be done scientifically ; we
must do just as nature does in everything ; the
process is a slow one, but sure, and will be inter
esting to the social philosopher."
Alice again mildly asked whether we had a right
to kill men to improve the rest, just like cattle.
" We are doing it," fiercely suggested Impey,
who had just then come in, a little late, he said,
on account of the cars. "Do we not kill men
with the rope, as we would no animal on the face
'of this beautiful earth."
Ai then explained that the diseased and sickly
cattle were killed to avoid propagating their kind,
and that was the thing to be aimed at .by the
social philosopher and society improver; "you
must mark your imperfect man and then cut off his
line of descent." All raised their eyebrows but
Alice had asked the bishop whether he would
not have another dish and then insisted, if only
to keep her company, and then they became de
voted to one another.
Edison's friend remarked that there was enough
of this damning children before they were born.
Those priests were right in baptizing babies for
their good before they were born, as the theo
logians admit has been done ; the principle was a
sound one ; if it did any good at all, that was
the time before they were born ; many were
damned as early, and if anything availed that
was a fitting time to begin.
Here Impey took another cup of coffee and
smiled at the drift the conversation was taking,
and suggested they did not need any stimulant
from him to bring them to the truth. Summers
said, '-'Here your statesman and legislator would
come to our aid very fittingly if they were social
philosophers ; but it is sad, very sad. The unfit
come under the cognizance of the law in a perfect
society, and by a separation from society the line
of descent can be cut off. I would have your
habitual criminal treated as a diseased person.
The stern facts of inheritance must be faced, and
means taken to prevent the propagation of the
morally diseased. You must look after the dis
eased moral nature, as you would the yellow
fever. Yet how slow the public mind moves in
this matter. We officer a boat to quarantine the
infected vessel, and then allow to run at large the
morally diseased, and permit them to spread their
polluted selves over the whole fabric of society.
Heroic measures are adopted in case of an
epidemic, but we are still blind to the proper ex
pedients to be employed to prevent the spread of
the evil traits of the criminal."
"The criminal," added Impey "must become
as one dead to the world, killed for practical
purposes. The scientific breeding of men and the
raising of the standard of manhood is yet in its
" You are an unmarried man I believe," sug
gested Burr, to the merriment of the company.
" So you would not really kill, as they do the
aged and the maimed in some heathen countries."
softly asked Alice, " that, it would seem, were
"No, they must be killed for ail practical
purposes; human scientific treatment must be
applied to criminals; they are diseased. Some are
more hopeful cases than others, and can be re
stored to health."
" I think the indefinite term of imprisonment
is the proper thing," added Summers, "you
quarantine your ship until the disease has been
exterminated, but your judges still sentence to a
definite term of days. Think of a doctor setting
a time in which to do his work ; to cure a stub
born rheumatism, or to get a baby born for in
stance." " That would be a popular practitioner,
if he were always successful," suggested Enid.
The company laughed hilariously, and the
bishop woke up confusedly, and wondered at
what it might be.
"Your preacher is not so much needed as your
doctor," explained Impey, for the bishop's bene
fit, " and you must have the co-operation of your
philosophical legislator so as to be able to coerce
the diseased portion of society, bring them under
proper restraint, and thus hinder the descent of
the incurable, and restore to active usefulness
the hopeful. Less preaching and more scientific
" Still you will admit the Church to have been
a powerful factor in the world," interposed the
bishop, nerving himself up to a proper and digni
"Yes, in the past," replied Impey ; "but her
influence in the future will depend largely upon
her adaptation to the times, and her brightness in
keeping abreast with the intelligence and throb
bing thought of the age."
. "Your salads are delicious," said the bishop,
turning to Alice, and then he again dropped out
of the general conversation.
"The stolidness of the ecclesiastical mind with
regard to the apprehension of scientific facts, is
amazing, as for instance in Italy, where the at
tempt to disinfect the cholera districts resulted in
the murder of the officials, and where priestly
processions and holy water took the place of
quarantine and carbolic acid." This broadside
of Impey's was not even heard by the bishop, who
was an excellent judge of delicacies, and had now
become interested in a little conversation with
Alice with regard to a new dish.
"This undoubtedly is the first thing we must
make society see," said Ai ; " that society grows
better or worse according to natural laws, and
that these laws must be recognized ; and the first
thing to be done is to kill, as the herdsman would
say, or weed out, as the farmer would term it, or
put under restraint, as the officer of the law would
have it ; and thus hinder a propagating of diseased
cattle, stop the spreading of noxious weeds, and
prevent the generating of a rotten society. In short
we must suppress the idle, the vicious, and incompe
tent, and help the industrious and well inten-
"To do this," added Enid, " is aherculean
task; the matter of suppressing alone meets with
many oppositions, even from some who seem to
have the welfare of society at heart. There is a
friend of mine who cannot resist importuning the
magistrate whenever a man who has beaten his
wife gets into the House of Correction. She
has freed a number, who have gone on beating,
and bringing to the birth children meanwhile,
who add to the burden of the poor dishearted wo
man in her efforts to support the family, includ
ing the vagabond husband."
"Such sentimental women ought themselves be
restrained," remarked Burr, the electrician.
"And the magistrates ought to take the place of
the vagabonds," suggested the other Burr.
"Then," continued Enid, "another hindrance
to suppression is indiscriminate feeding. We do
not feed our vermin, but we make fat these pests,
and allow them to crawl over the face of society,
and imagine ourselves philanthropic in so doing.
There are still some who give to beggars on the
street. A good deal has however been done by
our methods of organized charity, and there is a
feeling after a more rational method in our re
lief. It is all yet imperfect, but we are intending
good, and we will gradually feel our way to the
right and the light, and then even the most senti
mental will come and join us in our efforts to
ward rational relief."
"I have my pockets full of wood-pile tickets,"
said Impey, " but no one seems to want them. I
am accosted by swarthy fellows by the half dozen
every day, but I have not gotten rid of a ticket for
a long time ; mention the Wayfarer's Lodge, and
they dodge around the corner in an instant."
And then fearing the conversation was taking a
too pessimistic tone, Ai remarked : "It is interest
ing to see how in our efforts to quarantine the
evil ones, we find many, even in the heart of
the slums themselves, who are only incompetent ;
they are not vicious, not intemperate, but seem
well disposed, and there are some old persons
who command our pity and sense of justice.
These must be cared for ; easy labor must be given
them ; and there opens here a work and labor of
love which is infinite in its ramification nd is a
wide field for those who want some helpful work
to do. These incompetent persons can be wisely
aided by the personal service of those stronger
and more able ; and to secure such personal serv
ice is the great need of our day."
"Yes," interjected Impey, "give all a free
wide field and a fair chance ; but if one will not
work and will persist in his vagabondage, then he
comes under the cognizance of the law, and his
liberty must be abridged."
" There are then two things we have found out,"
mused Ai ; " first, quarantine the evil classes; and
secondly, plant on good ground the deserving
poor." Summers here suggested how sometimes
in the heart of the slums there is found a child
that seems to be of a superior mould ; and thought
this weeding out requires great care and intelli
gent insight, which makes personal service of ex
perts almost a necessity, lest the good sprout be
pulled up in the weeding process. There is some
times in the same family one who seems different
from all the rest, an oak among the weeds,
bright, vigorous, superior. It is interesting, this
study of men.
"This," thundered Impey, "opens out an in
teresting subject awful in its truth, growing out
of the low moral standard of society. It is simply
the introduction of new seed and blood ; and
when many of the so-called upper classes
will think a moment, they will see that in work
ing for the good of the children of the slums,
they are at random only caring for their own flesh
and blood. The thought is a terrible one I know,
but the facts must be faced. To me, the duty
ringing in our ears is not to trace in ingenious and
finely spun theological phrases, the pedigree of the
Son of God, but to inquire concerning this son of
man. Whose son is he, this child in your mission
school ; whose son is he, this waif on the street ;
whose son is he, this child in the asylum ; whose
son is he, this child advertised for adoption ;
whose son is he, this child receiving a man's
caresses and a mother's smiles? These are ques
tions terrible to enter upon, but t-his social regen
eration demands that they be faced ; and we can
not evade them."
The bishop did not even hear this, being ab
sorbed inhis second dish of dessert. When he had
finished, one of the brothers suggested that they
look at the efforts of the little architect in solving
this question of planting the deserving poor on
good ground, and giving humanity a chance to
grow. The plans of the tenements were under
way, and Enid spread them out on the high desk
for the criticism and suggestions of the com
"I hear," said Enid, after having givenlittle
explanations of the details, " that Esther Airy is
to take 422 S. Front Street. She has been engaged
for only a short time, but will be married soon,
and she insists that it must be in the old home
stead where she proposes to live. It created a little
storm in the family ; her mother especially was
mortified at this freak, as she termed it; but little
Esther was firm, and has outweathered the storm.
It is a fine old place, built in 1798, with all the
old time spacious arrangements of halls and rooms,
and solid mahogany doors. And such carved
work ! It puts your weak imitations of the antique
far into the shade. Esther will be quite an ac
quisition to our neighborhood, she is a wide
awake, noble-spirited girl, and takes a great in
terest in seamen, and has collected quite a little
library on subjects relating to the sea and navi
gation. This house they say has for a long
time been a stopping place for sailors, and she pro
poses building a special hotel for them, and so
she will really not be crowding out anybody."
EARTH TO EARTH.
How long will a man lie i' the earth ere he rot ?
Faith, if he be not rotten before he die, he will last you some eight
year or nine year : a tanner will last you nine year."
A PROCESSION stately and decorous ; ceremonies
proper and imposing ; words, words, words ; an
absence of the sorrowing poor ; a grave not wide,
not deep the burial of a bisho'p.
AN ELECTION THAT WAS ALSO A CHOICE.
The gods to their dear shelter take thee
That justly think'st, and hast most rightly said !
And your large speeches may your deeds approve.
THERE was no immediate shock, but the shock
came a few days afterwards when the question was
passed, " Whom shall we have now ; who shall be
our bishop ? "
Presentiments of a social revolution were in the
air, and as the question of leadership was passed
along, the excitement grew in intensity. Before
the clergy met for the usual action in a regular
way, there had been the spontaneous throbbing of
the heart of the people. It was an informal meet
The scene was one long to be remembered.
Wealth, culture, refinement were evidenced all
around, but here and there was also an isolated ig
norant negro, a lone Chinaman, a laborer with
horny hands, attesting to the coming dawn of a
real catholicity and brotherhood. The voice of
the people was heard^.
First, the mistakes to be avoided, the man not
to be chosen.
One man arose and said, "I know a prelate who
is a timeserver."
"Let us profit by the shameful spectacle," in
terjected some one.
Another added, " Yes, and is ostentatious."
Then followed in rapid succession the free
speech of the assembly.
" I know one who is cruel."
" I know one who is mercenary."
" I know one who is lazy."
" And I one who is not well read."
"I know one who slandered his clergy offi :
"I know one who worshipped policy as a god."
" I know one who never laughed."
" I one who affected wisdom in his pose."
" I know one who loves money."
" I know one who despised the poor."
" And I one who loved the rich."
" I know one who always went with the major
" I know one who robbed, legally.' 1 ''
" I know one who tried to coerce thinkers."
" Stop, kind friends," interposed a venerable
man with bushy eyebrows and .flowing beard ;
"let this not go further; let us seek after the
things which make for peace."
"No ! no ! let us have free speech ; let in the
air, and if necessary, the storm. Ventilation !
Ventilation ! "
" Let us proceed to the election."
" If these things can truthfully be said, were it
not better to go without a bishop at all," suggested
"That were heresy," interposed the venerable
Then the voices continued.
" We want a manly man."
" None for political purposes."
"The days of factions are gone by."
" The new age demands a Nazarene."
" A Nazarene must not belie his calling."
" The Nazarene did not live in a palace."
" He had an ideal beyond the comprehension
of the majority."
" We want the greatest of the great."
" Then look for one who can lace shoes."
" But in doing so he must not crawl."
" He must keep abreast with the age."
" Then he must be young."
" He must encourage activity."
" Then his mind must be broad."
" He must not follow, but lead."
" He must hate shams."
"He must love little children."
V If he worships God, he must also serve man."
" He must appreciate the greatness of failure."
" One who can refuse dinners."
" He must be a friend of sinners."
" His brightness ought not be considered a dis
And so speech ran long and freely. The voice
of the people was heard. The election took place,
and it was withal the people's choice. The lot
fell upon Ai.
THE MODERN CROWN OF THORNS.
No falser idol man has bowed before,
In Indian groves or islands of the sea,
Than that which through the quaint carved Gothic door
Looks forth, a Church without humanity \
Patron of pride, and prejudice, and wrong,
The rich man's charm and fetish of the strong.
THE committee who waited upon Ai to inform
him of his election, found him on a rug before
an open fire, reading to a group of boys, one of
the stories of Hans Christian Andersen. He
bade them be seated, but continued, and the com
mittee became quite interested themselves; and
after he had finished the story, he began another.
At this juncture the committee became a little
nervous and the chairman broached the object
of the visit. Ai had not heard of an election ;
had not even known that the bishop had died.
There were the usual congratulations ; but Ai was
lost in thought and could not be aroused to any
degree of enthusiasm. He stared into the fire for
a long time, and then dismissed his boys, and re
turned to the committee. And the arrangements
for the consecration must be made at once. They
had resolved to make it an imposing spectacle,
something that would impress the world with the
dignity and grandeur of the Church. It should
take place at St. Mark's and no expense should
be spared ; the Church was making inroads into
the hearts of the whole people, and there was
coming in the near future, the day when she
should include all sorts and conditions of men.
A very wealthy gentleman of the committee in
sisted that no expense should be spared, even if he
himself must bear the bulk of it. The ceremony
must impress the world by its magnificence ; there
must be nothing mean about it. There never had
been such unanimity in a choice ; never such en
thusiasm. Ai had long lived in the hearts of the
people, and now something must be done to be
fit the event.
Ai listened to it all in absolute silence. He
stirred the embers of the fire and put on more
wood, and then asked when it was to be. As
soon as the jewels could be ordered. Two men
had resolved to bear all that part of the expense.
Of course Ai would have his Shepherd's crook
as befits the shepherd. It would be jeweled.
" Make them diamonds," added Ai.
This rather surprised the committee, who ex
pected difficulties in the way ; but this was an
encouraging sign. They had expected from this
plain man opposition on the score of ceremony ;
but now he was actually insisting upon diamonds.
"And you will have your mitre; we will have
one specially made after a pattern of one of the
old Coptic bishops."
" Diamonds there would add to its beauty,"
Ai added again. The rich committeeman rubbed
his hands with delight ; there would be no fool
ish 'affectations of plainness, no meanness and un
"You will also have your pectoral cross."
" Make it large, and let that also be set with
diamonds," added Ai.
This was becoming exceedingly interesting to
"And let the diamonds be many and small,"
"And the ring will be a special gift from a
recent convert to the faith."
"See that it is set with diamonds also; small and
numerous would suit me best."
The committee were progressing satisfactorily
and had achieved their ends. Plere was a man
who rose to the dignity of the occasion. Ai
lighted a taper which stood in a tall brass candle
stick, and the glow lighted up the further end
of the room. It was poorly furnished with the
cheapest of wooden chairs, and an unpainted pine
table ; this with the rugs, of which there was a
marked profusion, constituted about all of the
furniture, except an abundance of books.
Here was the people's choice, living in almost
abject poverty, giving orders for diamonds and
costly pageantry, on his call to officially represent
"But you have forgotten," said Ai, as the
committee were taking their departure, " that I
am a layman ; I have never assumed the priestly
office, have not even been recognized as a deacon
or one occupying the lowest place." This was
rather a surprise to all, and they went back
" But have you not been recognized by the peo
ple as their priest? Have you not passed for
such ? "
"There has been established between us a
close bond of love, but it has been one only of
brotherhood. What the poor people have thought
I know not ; but I have never sought to appear
anything else than their friend and leader."
Here a thoughtful man among the number said
quietly, almost in a whisper, "Then you have
been a leader indeed, for you were to them as a
"That is the only priesthood, which has its
basis in brotherhood," added another. To this
one of the number was about to reply, but he
hesitated as if he did not quite understand the
drift of it, and so the matter was dropped.
A few days afterwards Ai was ordained deacon.
This man who had served his fellows, and the
poor especially, for years, was now a deacon.
Next day he was made a priest. This man who
had for years lived in the hearts of the poor, and
been to them as a priest, was now a priest. He
went through it all in almost absolute silence, and
seemed to be dazed. The day following had been
appointed for his consecration to the bishopric. He
had left to others every detail of arrangement.