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THANKSGIVING.
THE
ADVENTURES OF PHILIP
ON HIS WAY THROUGH THE WORLD ;
SHEWING
WHO ROBBED HIM, WHO HELPED HIM, AND WHO PASSED HIM BY:
TO WHICH IS NOW PREFIXED
A SHABBY GENTEEL STORY.
BY
WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY.
irjTH ILLUSTRA TIONS BY F. WALKER AND THE AUTHOR.
CHICAGO AND NEW YORK:
BELFORD, CLARKE & COMPANY,
Publishers.
1257
TO
B. W. PROCTER
THIS STORY IS AFFECTIONATELY DEDICATED
672724
ADVERTISEMENT.
When the " Shabby Genteel Story " was first reprinted with
other stories and sketches by Mr. Thackeray, collected together
under the title of " Miscellanies," the following note was
appended to it : —
It was my intention to complete the little story, of which only the first
part is here written. Perhaps novel-readers will understand, even from
the above chapters, what was to ensue. Caroline was to be disowned and
deserted by her wicked husband : that abandoned man was to marry some-
body else : hence, bitter trials and grief, patience and virtue, for poor
little Caroline, and a melancholy ending — as how should it have been
gay ? The tale was interrupted at a sad period of the writer's own life.
The colors are long since dry ; the artistes hand is changed. It is best to
leave the sketch, as it was when first designed seventeen years ago. The
memory of the past is renewed as he looks at it —
die Bildcr fioher Tage
Und tnanchc Hebe Schatten stcigen auf
W. M. T.
London, April \oth, 1857.
Mr. Brandon, a principal character in this story, figures prom-
inently in "The Adventures of Philip," under his real name
of Brand Firmin ; Mrs. Brandon, his deserted wife, and hef
father, Mr. Gann, are also introduced ; therefore the " Shabby
Genteel Story " is now prefixed to " The Adventures of
Philip."
CONTENTS.
A SHABBY GENTEEL STORY.
CHAP. PAGB.
I 7
II. How Mrs. Gann received two Lodgers i8
III. A Shabby Genteel Dinner, and other Incidents of a
like Nature 28
IV, In which Mr. Fitch proclaims his Love, and Mr. Bran-
don prepares for War 42
V. Contains a great Deal of complicated Love-making 48
VI. Describes a Shabby Genteel Marriage and more Love-
making 62
VII. Which brings a great Number of People to Margate
by the Steamboat 69
VIII. Which treats of War and Love, and many Things that
are not to be understood in Chap. VII 75
IX Which threatens Death, but contains a great Deal of
Marrying 87
THE ADVENTURES OF PHILH^
CHAP. PAGE.
I, Doctor Fell loi
II. At School and at Home no
III. A Consultation 119
IV. A Genteel Family 127
V. The Noble Kinsman I39
VI. Brandon's 1 55
VI
CONTENTS.
CHAP. PASS.
VII. Impletur Veteris Bacclii 167
VIII. Will be pronounced to be Cynical by the Benevo-
lent 182
IX. Contains one Riddle which is solved, and perhaps
some more 1 88
X. In which we visit " Admiral Byng" 198
XI. In which Philip is very ill-tempered 208
XII. Damocles 22?
XIII. Love me love my Dog 240
XIV. Contains twTD of Philip's Mishaps 252
XV. Samaritans 269
XVI. In which Philip shows his Mettle 276
XVII. Brevis esse Laboro 294
XVIII. Drum ist's so wohl mir in der Welt 304
XIX. Qu'on est bien a Vingt Ans 322
XX. Course of True Love 334
XXI. Treats of Dancing, Dining, Dying 349
XXII. Pulvis et Umbra sumus 367
XXIII. In which we still hover about the Elysian Fields.. . 376
XXIV. Nee dulces Amoressperne, Puer, neque tu Choreas. 393
XXV. Infandi Dolores 403
XXVI. Contains a Tug of War 418
XXVII. I charge you, Drop your Daggers 430
XXVIII. In which Mrs. MacWhirter "has a New Bonnet 443
XXIX. In the Departments of Seine, Loire, and Styx (In-
ferieur) 457
XXX. Returns to Old Friends 47i
XXXI. Narrates that Famous Joke about Miss Grigsby. . . 485
XXXII. Ways and Means : . . . 500
XXXIII. Describes a Situation interesting but not unex-
pected ... 509
XXXIV. In which I own that Philip tells an Untruth 517
XXXV. Res Angusta Domi . 535
XXXVI. In which the Drawing-rooms are not Furnished
after all 549
XXXVII. Nee plena Cruoris Hirudo. 562
XXXVIII. The Bearer of the Bowstring 574
XXXIX. In which several People have their Trials 589
XL. In which the Luck goes very much against us 595
XLI. In which we reach the Last Stage but one of this
Journey 6i(j
XLII. The Realms of Bliss 621
SHABBY GENTEEL STORY.
CHAPTER I.
At that remarkable period when Louis XVHL was restored
a second time to the throne of his fathers, and all the English
who had money or leisure rushed over to the Continent, there
lived in a certain boarding-house at Brussels a genteel young
widow, who bore the elegant name of Mrs. Wellesley Macarty.
In the same house and room with the widow lived her
mamma, a lady who was called Mrs. Crabb. Both professed
to be rather fashionable people. The Crabbs were of a very
old English stock, and the Macartys were, as the world knows,
Country Cork people ; related to the Sheenys, Finnigans,
Clancys, and other distinguished families in their part of
Ireland. But Ensign Wellesley Mac, not having a shilling, ran
off with Miss Crabb, who possessed the same independence ;
and after having been married about six months to the lady,
was carried off suddenly, on the i8th of June, 1815, by a disease
very prevalent in those glorious times — the fatal cannon-shot
morbus. He, and many hundred young fellows of his regiment,
the Clonakilty Fencibles, were attacked by this epidemic on
the same day, at a place about ten miles from Brussels, and
there perished. The ensign's lady had accompanied her hus'
band to the Continent, and about five months after his death
brought into the world two remarkably fine female children.
Mrs. Wellesley's mother had been reconciled to her daughter
by this time — for, in truth, Mrs. Crabb had no other child but
her runaway Juliana, to whom she flew when she heard of her
destitute condition. And, indeed, it was high time that some
one should come to the young widow's aid ; for as her husband
8 A SHABBY GENTEEL STOHV.
did not leave money, nor anything that represented money,
except a number of tailors' and bootmakers' bills, neatly
docketed, in his writing-desk, Mrs. Wellesley was in danger of
starvation, should no friendly person assist her.
Mrs. Crabb, then, came ofT to her daughter, whom the
Sheenys, Finnigans, and Clancys refused, with one scornful
voice, to assist. The fact is, that Mr. Crabb had once been
butler to a lord, and his lady a lady's-maid ; and at Crabb's
death, Mrs. Crabb disposed of the " Ram " hotel and posting-
house, where her husband had made three thousand pounds,
and was living in genteel ease in a country town, when Ensign
Macarty came, saw, and ran away with Juliana. Of such a
connection, it was impossible that the great Clancys and Fin-
nigans could take notice ; and so once more widow Crabb was
compelled to share with her daughter her small income of a
hundred and twenty a year.
Upon this, at a boarding-house in Brussels, the two managed
to live pretty smartly, and to maintain an honorable reputation.
The twins were put out, after the foreign fashion, to nurse, at a
village in the neighborhood ; for Mrs. Macarty had been too ill
to nurse them ; and Mrs. Crabb could not afford to purchase
that most expensive article, a private wet-nurse.
There had been numberless tiffs and quarrels between
mother and daughter when the latter was in her maiden state j
and Mrs. Crabb was, to tell the truth, in nowise sorrow when
her Jooly disappeared with the ensign, — for the old lady dearly
loved a gentleman, and was not a little flattered at being the
mother to Mrs. Ensign Macarty. Why ihe ensign should have
run away with his lady at all, as he might have had her for the
asking, is no business of ours ; nor are we going to rake up old
stories and village scandals, which insinuate that Miss Crabb
ran away with ///;«, for with these points the writer and the
reader have nothing to do.
Well, then, the reconciled mother and daughter lived once
more together, at Brussels. In the course of a year, Mrs.
Macarty's sorrow had much abated ; and having a great natural
love of dress, and a tolerably handsome face and person, she
was induced, without much reluctance, to throw her weeds aside,
and to appear in the most becoming and varied costumes which
her means and ingenuity could furnish. Considering, indeed,
the smallness of the former, it was agreed on all hands that
Mrs. Crabb and her daughter deserved wonderful credit, —
that is, they managed to keep up as respectable an appearance
as if they had five hundred a year ; and at church, at tea-parties.
A SHABBY GENTEEL STORY. g
and abroad in the streets, to be what is called quite the gentle-
women. If they . starved at home, nobody saw it; if they
patched and pieced, nobody (it was to be hoped; knew it ; if
they bragged about their relations and property, could any one
say them nay ? Thus they lived, hanging on with desperate
energy to the skirts of genteel society; Mrs. Crabb, a sharp
woman, rather respected her daughter's superior rank ; and
Mrs. Macarty did not quarrel so much as heretofore with her
mamma, on whom herself and her two children were entirely
dependent.
While affairs were at this juncture, it happened that a
young Englishman, James Gann, Esq., of the great oil house of
Gann, Blubbery and Gann (as he took care to tell you before
you had been an hour in his company), — it happened, I say,
that James Gann, Esq., came to Brussels for a month, for the
purpose of perfecting himself in the French language ; and
while in that capital went to lodge at the very boarding-house
which contained Mrs. Crabb and her daughter. Gann was
young, weak, inflammable ; he saw and adored Mrs. Wellesley
Macarty ; and she, who was at this period all but engaged to a
stout old wooden-legged Scotch regimental surgeon, pitilessly
sent Dr. M'Lint about his business, and accepted the addresses
of Mr. Gann. How the young man arranged matters with his
papa the senior partner, I don't know ; but it is certain that
there was a quarrel, and afterwards a reconciliation ; and it is
also known that James Gann fought a duel with the surgeon, —
receiving the .Elsculapian fire, and discharging his own bullet
into the azure skies. About nine thousand times in the course
of his after-years did Mr. Gann narrate the history of the
combat ; it enabled him to go through life wdth the reputation
of a man of courage, and won for him, as he said with pride,
the hand of his Jutiana ; perhaps this was rather a questionable
benefit.
One part of the tale, however, honest James never did dare
to tell, except when peculiarly excited by wrath or liquor ; it
was this : that on the day after the wedding, and in the presence
of many friends who had come to offer their congratulations, a
stout nurse, bearing a brace of chubby little ones, made her
appearance ; and these rosy urchins, springing forward at the
sight of Mrs. James Gann, shouted affectionately, ^^ Mam an I
fnamanf" at which the lady, blushing rosy red, said, "James,
these two are yours ; " and poor James wellnigh fainted at this
sudden paternity so put upon him. " Children ! " screamed
he, aghast ; " whose children ? "' at which Mrs. Crabb, majesti-
10 A Sr/ABBY GENTEEL STORY.
cally checking him, said, " These, my dear James, are the
daughters of the gallant and good Ensign Macarty, whose
widow you yesterday led to the altar. May you be happy with
her, and may these blessed ciiildren " (tears) " find in you a
father, who shall replace him that fell in the field of glory ! "
Mrs. Crabb, Mrs. James Gann, Mrs. Major Lolly, Mrs.
Piftier, and several ladies present, set up a sob immediately ;
and James Gann, a good-humored, soft-hearted man, was quite
taken aback. Kissing his lady hurriedly, he vowed that he
would take care of the poor little things, and proposed to kiss
them likewise ; which caress the darlings refused with many
roars. Gann's fate was sealed from that minute ; and he was
properly henpecked by his wife and mother-in-law during the
life of the latter. Indeed, it was to Mrs. Crabb that the strata-
gem of the infant concealment was due ; for when her daughter
innocently proposed to have or to see the children, the old lady
strongly painted out the folly of such an arrangement, which
might, perhaps, frighten away Mr. Gann from the delightful
matrimonial trap into which (lucky rogue !) he was about to
fall.
Soon after the marriage, the happy pair returned to Eng-
land, occupying the house in Thames Street, City, until the
death of Gann senior ; when his son, becoming head of the
firm of Gann and Elubbery, quitted the dismal precincts of
Billingsgate and colonized in the neighborhood of Putney \
where a neat box, a couple of spare bedrooms, a good cellar,
and a smart gig to drive into and out from town, made a real
gentleman of him. Mrs. Gann treated him with much scorn, to
be sure, called him a sot, and abused hugely the male com-
panions that he brought down with him to Putney, Honest
James would listen meekly, would yield, and would bring down a
l^race more friends the next day, with whom he would discuss
his accustomed number of bottles of port. About this period,
a daughter was born to him, called Caroline Bradenburg Gann ;
so named after a large mansion near Hammersmith, and an
injured queen who lived there at the time of the little girl's
birth, and who was greatly compassioned and patronized by
Mrs. James Gann, and other ladies of distinction. Mrs. James
7oas a lady in those days, and gave evening-parties of the very
first order.
At this period of time, Mrs. James Gann sent the twins
Rosalind Clancy and Isabella Einnigan Wellesley Macarty, to
a boarding-school for young ladies, and grumbled much at the
amount of the half-vears' bills which her husband was called
A SHABBY GENTEEL STORY. H
upon to pay for them ; for though James discharged them with
perfect good-humor, his lady began to entertain a mean opinion
indeed of her pretty young children. They could expect no
fortune, she said, from Mr. Gann, and she wondered that he
should think of bringing them up expensively, when he had a
darling child of his own, for whom he was bound to save all the
money that he could lay by.
Grandmamma, too, doted on the little Caroline Branden-
burg, and vowed that she would leave her three thousand pounds
to this dear infant ; for in this way does the world show its
respect for that most respectable thing prosperity. Who in
this life get the smiles, and the acts of friendship, and the pleas-
ing legacies ? — The rich. And I do, for my part, heartily wish
that some one would leave me a trifle — say twenty thousand
pounds — being perfectly confident that some one else would
leave me more ; and that I should sink into my grave worth a
plum at least.
Little Caroline then had her maid, her airy nursery, her
little carriage to drive in, the promise of her grandmamma's
consols, and that priceless treasure — her mamma's undivided
affection. Gann, too, loved her sincerely, in his careless, good-
humored way ; but he determined, notwithstanding, that his
step-daughters should have something handsome at his death,
but — but for a great But.
Gann and Blubbery were in the oil line, — have we not said
so ? Their profits arose from contracts for lighting a great
number of streets in London ; and about this period Gas came
into use. Gann and Blubbery appeared in the Gazette ; and, I
am sorry to say, so bad had been the management of Blubbery,
— so great the extravagance of both partners and their ladies,
— that they only paid their creditors fourteenpence halfpenny
in the pound.
When Mrs. Crabb heard of this dreadful accident — Mrs.
Crabb, who dined thrice a week with her son-in-law ; who never
would have been allowed to enter the house at all had not
honest James interposed his good nature between her quarrel-
some daughter and herself — Mrs. Crabb, I say, proclaimed
James Gann to be a swindler, a villain, a disreputable, tipsy,
vulgar man, and made over her money to the Misses Rosalind
Clancy and Isabella Finnigan Macarty ; leaving poor little
Caroline without one single maravedi. Half of one thousand
five hundred pounds allotted to each was to be paid at marriage,
the other half on the death of Mrs. James Gann, who was to
enjoy the interest thereof. Thus do we rise and fall in this
12 A SHABBY GENTEEL STORY.
world — thus does P'ortune shake her swift whigs, and bid us
abruptly to resign the gifts (or rather loans) which we have had
from her.
How Gann and his family lived after their stroke of misfor-
tune, I know not ; but as the failing tradesman is going through
the process of bankruptcy, and for some months afterwards, it
may be remarked that he has usually some mysterious means of
subsistence — stray spars of the wreck of his property, on which
he manages to seize, and to float for a while. During his retire-
ment, in an obscure lodging in Lambeth, where the poor fellow
was so tormented by his wife as to be compelled to fly to the
public-house for refuge, Mrs. Crabb died ; a hundred a year
thus came into the possession of Mrs. Gann ; and some of
James's friends, who thought him a good fellow in his prosper-
ity, came forward, and furnished a house, in which they placed
him, and came to see and comfort him. Then they came to
see him not quite so often ; then they found out that Mrs.
Gann was a sad tyrant, and a silly woman ; then the ladies
declared her to be insupportable, and Gan/i to be a low, tipsy
fellow : and the gentlemen could but shake their heads, and
admit that the charge was true. Then they left off coming to
see him altogether ; for such is the way of the world, where
many of us have good impulses, and are generous on an occa-
sion, but are wearied by perpetual want, and begin to grow
angry at its importunities — being very properly vexed at the
daily recurrence of hunger, and the impudent unreasonableness
of starvation. Gann, then, had a genteel wife and children, a
furnished house, and a luindred pounds a year. How should
he live? The wife of James Gann, Esq., would never allow
him to demean himself by taking a clerk's place ; and James
himself, being as idle a fellow as ever was known, was fain to
acquiesce in this determination of hers, and to wait for some more
genteel employment. And a curious list of such genteel employ-
ments might be made out, were one inclined to follow this interest-
ing subject far ; shabby compromises with the world, into which
poor fellows enter, and still fondly talk of their " position,'' and
strive to imagine that they are really working for their bread.
Numberless lodging-houses are kept by the females, of fam-
ilies who have met with reverses : are not " l)oarding-houses,
with a select musical societ}-, in the neighborhood of the squares,"
maintained by such .' Do not the gentlemen of the boarding
houses issue forth every morning to the City, or make believe
to go thither, on some mysterious business which they have ?
After a certain period, Mrs. James C}ann kept a lodging-house
A SHABBY GENTEEL STORY. 13
(in her own words, received " two inmates into her family "),
and Mr, Gann had his mysterious business.
In the year 1835, when this story begins, there stood in a
certain back street in the town of Margate a house, on the door
of which might be read, in gleaming brass, the name of Mr.
Gann. It was the work of a single smutty servant-maid to
clean this brass plate every morning, and to attend, as far as
possible, to the wants of Mr. Gann, his family, and lodgers ;
and his house being not veiy far from the sea, and as you
might, by climbing up to the roof, get a sight, between two
chimneys, of that multitudinous element, Mrs. Gann set down
her lodgings as fashionable ; and declared on her cards that
her house commanded " a fine view of the sea."
On the wire window-blind of the parlor was written, in large
characters, the word Office; and here it was that Gann's
services came into play. He was very much changed, poor
fellow ! and humblecl ; and from two cards that hung outside
the blind, I am led to believe that he did not disdain to be
agent to the " London and Jamaica Ginger-Beer Company,"
and also for a certain preparation called " Gaster's Infants'
Farinacio, or Mothers' Invigorating Substitute," — a damp,
black, mouldy, half-pound packet of which stood in permanence
at one end of the "office" mantel-piece; while a fly-blown
ginger-beer bottle occupied the other extremity. Nothing else
indicated that this ground-fioor chamber was an office, except a
huge black inkstand, in which stood a stumpy pen, richly crusted
with ink at the nib, and, to all appearance, for many montlis
enjoying a sinecure.
To this room you saw every day, at two o'clock, the employe
from the neighboring hotel bring two quarts of beer ; and if you
called at that hour, a tremendous smoke and smell of dinner
would gush out upon you from the " office," as you stumbled
over sundry battered tin dish-covers, which lay gaping at the
threshhold. Thus had that great bulwark of gentility, "the din-
ing at six o'clock, been broken in ; and the reader must there-
fore judge that the house of Gann was in a demoralized state.
Gann certainly was. After the ladies had retired to the
back-parlor (which, with yellow gauze round the frames, window
curtains, a red silk cabinet piano, and an album, was still toler-
ably genteel), Gann remained, to transact business in the oftice.
This took place in the presence of friends, and usually consisted
in the production of a bottle of gin from the corner cupboard,
or, mayhap, a litre of brandy, which was given by Gann with a
knowing wink, and a fat finger placed on a twinkling red nose ;
14. A SHABBY GENTEEL STORY.
when Mrs. G. was out, James would also produce a number of
pipes, that gave this room a constant and agreeable odor of
shag tobacco.
In fact, Mr. Gann had nothing to do from morning till night.
He was now a fat, bald-headed man of fifty ; a dirty dandy on
week-days, with a shawl waistcoat, a tuft of hair to his great,
double-chin, a snuffy shirt-frill, and enormous breast-pin and
seals : he had a pilot-coat, with large mother-of-pearl buttons,
and always wore a great rattling telescope, with which he might
be seen for hours on the sea shore or the pier, examining the
ships, the bathing-machines, the ladies' schools as they paraded
up and down the esplanade, and all other objects which the
telescopic view might give him. He knew every person con-
nected with every one of the Deal and Dover coaches, and was
sure to be witness to the arrival or departure of several of
them in the course of the day ; he had a word for the ostler
about " that gray mare," a nod for the " shooter " or guard, and
a bow for the dragsman ; he could send parcels for nothing up
to town ; had twice had Sir Rumble Tumble (the noble driver
of the Flash-'o-lightning-light-four-inside-post-coach) "up at his
place," and took care to tell you that some of the party were
pretty considerably " sewn up," too. He did not frequent the
large hotels ; but in revenge he knew every person who entered
or left them ; and was a great man at the " Bag of Nails " and
the " Magpie and Punchbowl," where he was president of a
club ; he took the bass in " Mynheer Van Dunk," " The \\'olf,"
and many other morsels of concerted song, and used to go
backwards and forwards to London in the steamers as often as
ever he liked, and have his " grub," too, on board. Such was
James Gann, Many people, when they wrote to him, addressed
him James Gann, Elsq.
His reverses and former splendors afforded a never-failing
theme of conversation to honest Gann and the whole of his
family ; and it may be remarked that such pecuniary misfor-
tunes, as they are called, are by no means misfortunes to people
of certain dispositions, but actual pieces of good luck. Gann,
for instance, used to drink liberally of port and claret, when the
house of Gann and Ijlubbery was in existence, and was hence^
forth compelled to imbibe only brandy and gin. Now he loved
these a thousand times more tiian the wine ; and had the
advantage of talking about the latter, and of his great merit in
giving them up. In those prosperous days, too, being a gentle-
man, he could not frequent the public-house as he did at
present ; and the sanded tavern parlor was Gann's supreme
A SHABBY GENTEEL STORY. 15