THE LITERARY LIOM
THE
LORGNETTE:
OR,
STUDIES OF THE TOWN.
QUID LIBET, CUI LIBET, I)E QUO LIBET.
<& IL mm is t.
SEVENTH EDITION.
BEI OFF WITH MB. BARLEY'S DESIGNS.
Printed for STRINGER AND TOWNSEND,
And for sale at 222 Broadway, and all respectable Book-shops.
1852.
ENTERED, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1850, by
STRINGER & TOWNSEND,
in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District of
New-York.
v-
PREFACE
FOURTH EDITION.
r
HE Publishers, and friends of
the late MR. JOHN TIMON, have
requested me to act as his
Executor ; and to say whatever
can he decent! v said of the
merits and failings of the poor gentleman, who
has left behind him only these two volumes
of remains
It is a task which I enter upon with
mingled feelings of respect for his virtues,
and of tender pity for his weaknesses. A
delicate recollection too of our intimate friend-
IV PREFACE.
ship conies over me, as I take the pen ; and
as I recall his quiet humor, his gray, scattered
locks, his rusty gaiters, his every-day kindness,
and even his sardonic smile, I find myself
lost almost to tears.
MR. TIMON came into the town, scarce a
year ago, almost a stranger; and it was my
pleasure to be among the first to offer him
that friendship, which, I am happy to say,
was never abused, and of which I am proud
to boast. Although a new-comer, and little
versed in the ways of the world, he yet
possessed a quiet and noiseless habit of obser
vation, that allowed nothing to escape it ;
and many are the belles who have brushed
contemptuously past him, and many are the
foplings who have twisted their moustache in
scorn for his presence, who are now vege
tating together, on the debris of these his
literary remains.
PREFACE.
He had but few friends ; but to those few,
he never, up to the latest hour of his stay
among us, forgot his indebtedness ; he always
remembered with a generous pride the help
which he received from their counsel and
their suggestions.* He was not a man to
forget his friends ; and, though it pains me
to say it, he was slow to forgive those who
had purposely wronged him.
Little was popularly known of his habits, or
of his way of living. A remarkable degree of
caution belonged to his character ; and only
two or three of his more intimate acquaintances
were intrusted with the secret of his literary
work. Most people would have taken him
for a quiet, plodding tradesman, who saw little
beyond the edge of his counter ; and who
* In this connexion I shall take the liberty of designating the name
of Mr. Wm, H. Huntington.
VI PREFACE.
read little, save the Almanac, the Advertiser,
and his Bible.
Eveii MR. KERNOT, his original publisher,
of whose suavity and discretion I have heard
him speak in the highest terms, little
suspected that the quiet gentleman who
sometimes sauntered into his book-shop of
a summer afternoon, was the identical MR.
TIM ON, who had become his familiar and
indefatigable correspondent.
Many ladies, too, who cracked their jokes
unmercifully at the rustic manners of my
poor friend, had no suspicion that the dainty
covered papers on their table were the w r ork
of so plain and so common-place an indi
vidual.
Many a time I have heard him chuckle
over his evening pipe, at the gay and careless
PEEFACE. Vll
speeches of his critics, and at the boastful
assurance which attributed his labors to some
empty-pated youngster of the town.
The greatest weakness of the old gentle
man's character was an intense dislike of
everything that savored of pretension ; and it
was to combat this, in all its forms as I have
often heard him remark that he undertook
that series of papers which are now all that
remain of his literary employments.
He had a strong regard, too, for virtue and
modesty, and had been educated in the dislike
of whatever forbade or discouraged their
growth. Far be it from me to say, much as
I revere his memory, that he was himself
all that he should have been in these
respects. Alas ! our poor nature is very
feeble; and the intimacy of even a life-long
Vlll PEEFACK.
acquaintance cannot justify me in attempting
to hide his defects.
But with all his errors, JOHN TIMON bore no
malice ; and as I trust my own heart I
believe that he retired from the stage with a
conscience unburdened by the recollection of
having wilfully done any human creature an
injury. If in the play of his words or the
hurry of his thoughts, he forgot himself to
severity, or to a sneer, it was only, I firmly
believe, attributable to a certain flightiness of
temper, which at times overcame his soberer
judgment.
At vicious courses he was always ready to
point his attacks ; these may have been crude
and ill considered, but they were at least heart
felt and earnest ; and never, to the very last,
did he withdraw the harshest expressions of
PBEFACE. IX
his hostility to vulgar pretence and extrava
gant follies.
I could wish that my poor friend's efforts
had been more successful than they have been,
in abating the follies at which he aimed : I
could wish that the power of his language and
the vigor of his reason had been more equal to
the fervor of his desire. But, I trust that
the world, in true Christian spirit, will forgive
his weakness, as I have cordially forgiven
it myself.
Be this as it may, however, as his Execu
tor, and nearest surviving friend, I must defend
his character ; and should any persons be
aggrieved by what he has done, or have any
chafges against his estate or opinions, I shall
hold myself in readiness at any moment to
give them the fullest answer.
I am sure that if he had lived longer and
PREFACE.
been wiser, he would have claimed less of our
pity, and more of our regard. But for the
little that he has done, I hope that he may be
well thought of; and I shall take a friend's
privilege, in always thinking as well as I can
of him, myself.
IK: MARVEL.
TO MY
READERS
HIS Preface is written for
the Public ; and by virtue of
it, and of the bookbinder's
work in clapping together
these letters, first written to
a friend in the country, I make over the busi
ness of finding fault with them, or praising
them, to the wise and talkative world.
I have got very little to say here, which may
not be found said in some shape or other, in
the book itself; nor have I any flattery in
hand for obstinate readers, to make them either
lenient, or kindly disposed. Yet I have a
tolerably good opinion of the public, and think
PREFACE.
it, as the times go, wise, considerate, and cha
ritable ; and so thinking, I have not felt it
worth my while to hatch out any brood of
lies, as is the custom with most new authors,
about my modesty, and diffidence, and Heaven
knows what.
As for Apology, I have got none to make ;
except to say that the matter was not made up
out. of spitefulness or malice toward any man
or woman ; on the contrary, my feelings are
tender toward the men in general, and
women specially. If anybody thinks other
wise, and feels worked up to such a pass, that
he means to retort, I would particularly caution
him, as I would the Theologic disputants,
against striking, before he knows what he is
going to hit.
I cannot let the opportunity slip, without
giving my thanks for the praises which have
often greeted my ears; and to which, occa-
PUilFACE. xiii
si on ally, a regard tor my incognito, (to say
nothing of truth) has compelled me to yield a
reluctant assent. At other times, however, I
have listened to abuse, especially from authors,
which has made me bite my lip, and heartily
wish myself in other company.
Not a few of the Journals have damned me
with a little faint praise, and expressed candid
regrets that so much 'refinement' belonged to
my papers. I would not for a moment impugn
the judgment of these gentlemen, and only
regret my inability to satisfy their taste.
There is an old story of a school-boy, who
sneered at a whip of nettles as a flimsy affair ;
but who was observed to rub the afflicted part,
for a long time afterward. There may be
times when a cowhide is the proper medium
of admonition ; but it always needs a braggart
bully for the handling. God forbid that I, a
stranger, and appearing as an actor on the
PHKPACE.
Literary stage only by courtesy, should inter
fere with the professional repute of such uer-
formers.
X
Finally, (for this Preface is getting longer
than I meant it should,) 1 give up these twelve
letters into the hands of my readers, with the
greatest honesty imaginable ; and if they can
not think well of me, after they have got
through them, I hope, at least, that they will
not condemn too harshly, a work, which my
love for them has prompted.
JOHN TIMON.
Dated from my Attic,
July the 10th, MDCCCL
CONTENTS.
NUMBER ONE.
Introductory the Author's purpose his topics of books and
tarts, . ..... 1
LODGINGS IN TOWN New York landladies extensive acquaint
ances fellow-boarders the fast man, 10
NUMBER TWO
A friend introduced his large information his classification oi
belles his advice on the score of dress, . . .23
THK FASHIONABLE MAN his birth and education his sporting
his literary attainments his musical taste becomes com
mittee man fails, and lives happily, .... 28
NUMBER THREE.
A word of explanation, ...... 43
TOWN CELEBRITIES foreigners Hungarians Weehazy Polka
opera balls extraordinary dancers traveled ladies and
gentlemen their views of art, and Jno. Timon's views of them, 45
CONTENTS.
NUMBER. FOUR.
The author's regrets, and agreeable surprise, . 65
WAYS OF GETTING INTO SOCIETY scale of means literature
taste music, ....... 68
DIARY OF A FASHION HUNTER his experience and successes, . 64
Letter from Mr. Green, ..... 83
NUMBER F IVE.
Suspected authors the writer's ignorance very mortifying, " 88
RESPECTABLES inquiry concerning respectable people a re
spectable family respectable lawyer respectable doctor
respectable clergyman respectable authors and respectable
tea-parties, ...... 90
OLD BEAUX their appearance described their haunts their
appetites, and accomplishments, . . . 101
Letters from DOROTHEA and LUCIA, offering sympathy and aid, 107
NUMBER SIX.
The Upper Ten Thousand town poverty and town pence Satan
friendly to both practical reflections, . . . Ill
LIONS not confined to Welch's Circus nursing of lions strong
diet afforded by certain papers musical, literary, and critical
lions the literary lion represented, 117
NUMBER SEVEN.
A sly chat with his publisher, and booksellers in general hints for
a literary monument to an eminent house Latin inscription, 136
THE OPERA its establishment, history and uses missionary
character of opera companies a sight of the opera goers
opera martyrs, .... 145
CONTENTS. XV11
NUMBER EIGHT.
Opinions of the press, with delicate thanks to the Express news
paper, ........ 161
PEOPLE i.\ SOCIETY investigation as to who is in society results
of investigation a short sketch of society, . . . 162
JOURNAL OF A LADY IN SOCIETY extraordinary revelations her
coquetries, and color, . . . 173
Letter from a lawyer Mr. Browne, . . . 182
NUMBER NINE.
The author's critics flattering portraits one or two special hints, 189
THE FASHIONABLE LADY her tender age has afemme de chambre
her literary education her coining out her Summer cam
paigns her opera education her marriage, reign, death, and
burial a few thoughts suggested by the occasion, . . 194
NUMBER TE N.
LETTER FROM A LADY very touching the author ventures apology
Gynocracy or woman-rule ladies, great helps poor demo
crats de 1'Enclos a model husbands snubbed home a small
affair, ........ 213
Another letter the writer honest and sensible when her Papa
got rich what came of it her travels, marriage, and
happiness, ....... 226
THI BOSTONIAN not easily mistaken his eye-glass his great
knowledge superiority in art and taste his dignity how it
affects his religion usually of an old family a compliment,
and a hope, ..... . 231
NUMBER ELEVEN.
The author a sort of Burchell his great modesty, - 389
XVU1 CONTENTS.
COUNTRY STRANGERS the Philadelphia!! bis great street vigor
his cultivation his gentleness the Washingtonian the
Westerner the country lady, very showy, or very shy her
action and her praise, ...... 242
FAMILY AND ANCESTORS good parentage a good thing the fact
well known European extravagances heraldry ancestry
returned to New Y'ork hunt up their children great alarm
a serious end, . . . 255
N U M B E R T W E L V K .
Tacitus emended, and :i chat with the critics heroes engaged, 267
AUTHORS AND AUTHORLIXQS the writer's vanity town fevers
Glory and Shame outbreak Napoleon run Tupper .fever
Jane Eyre, Typee, Lady Alice, and Kaloolah Dunglison of
letters the Willis affection the reputed authors their
claims discussed their great merit admitted more com
pliments promised in a yellow cartridge, . . 272
A CLOSING TALK John Timon out of debt means to keep out
some material left will not use it unless he chooses advises
the stupid of what he is ' at' a classic garland for a tail-piece, 292
THE LORGNETTE.
JAN, 20,
NEW-YORK.
NO, I
Non hodie si
Exclusus fuero, desistam ; tempora qusoram;
Occurram in triviis; deducara. HOR. 1 Sat. ix. 58.
You know, my dear Fritz, that I am not unused
to the handling of a glass ; and that I have amused
myself for a considerable number of years in look
ing about the world, as carelessly and freely as I
chose. Now, it has occurred to me, in the open
ing of this new half-century, (may you live to the
end of it !) that in common justice, I ought to
make such return as lies in my power, by attempt
ing to amuse some little portion of that world,
which has so long and gratuitously amused me.
You stare hugely, to find your old friend be
come a man of type, and making his New-Year'^
1
2 Tin-: LOUGXETTE.
greetings in veritable print. But book-making,
let me tell you, is now-a-days but a very small
affair ; since every blue-stocking thinks it worth
her while to spin out rhymes for the lady journals ;
and the old class of wholesome authors in shabby
coats, and dirty linen, is almost supplanted by a
great tribe of coxcomb writers, in opera gloves,
and in velvet trimmings.
I am aware that I am challenging, in this way,
a degree of attention from the very enlightened
public of the city, which possibly I may never get ;
and that I wantonly assume a task, which the
world, in its wisdom, may decide to be wholly be
yond my powers. But I console myself with the
reflection, that in this affair of book-making, I
have got no reputation to lose ; and indeed, were it
otherwise, I should be much disposed to question
whether, in this day of mushroom growth, it would
not be more creditable to lose reputation, than to
gain it.
To fame, or to what passes for it now to news
paper-mention, I am fortunately wholly unknown :
Since the days of the old College catalogue. with
the exception, indeed, of some half dozen passenger
rolls of Foreign Packets, -I do not remember ever
to have seen my name in print ; nor shall I flatter
my vanity by heralding it now.
INTRODUCTORY. 8
I shall iose thus, it is true, the sympathies of
friends and acquaintances ; for I shall maintain
an incognito as strictly in the circles where I am
cordially received, as in the public talk. My
papers, then, will have no support of friends, and
no hireling praise : on the other hand, I shall have
no enemies who can throw an old and cherished
bitterness into their condemnation. And this last,
I reckon no small point ; since the popular littera
teurs of the city, as I am told, are forever quarrel
ing, and barking at each other, like so many apes
of Siam. Now, as the critical attaches to this
amiable fraternity of town writers will have, in
my case, no reputation to pull down, and no old
grudge to satisfy, I have a hope of passing scot-
free, without so much as a single vagabond pen
being wet to dampen my fire. But let me warn
them, that if they choose to bark, they may bark
till their lungs are sore, and they will draw out no
newspaper card in reply, nor shall I suborn any of
their fraternity to bolster mo up.
It would be very idle to pretend, my dear Fritz,
that in printing my letters, I had not some hope of
doing the public a trifling service. There are er
rors which need only to be mentioned, to bo frown
ed upon; and there ;nv virtues, which an approv
ing word, oven of ;i stranger, will encourage,.
4 THE LORGNETTE.
Both of these objects belong to my plan ; yet my
strictures shall not be personal, or invidious. It
will be easy, surely, to carry with me the sympa
thies of all sensible people, in a little harmless
ridicule of the foibles of the day, without citing
personal instance ; and it will be vastly easier, in
such Babylon as ours, to designate a virtue, with
out naming its possessor !
Still, you know me too well, to believe that I
shall be frightened out of free, or even caustic re
mark, by any critique of the papers, or by any
dignified frown of the literary coteries of the city.
My publisher, indeed, has assured me, that with
out favorable mention from such and such news
papers, my work would all be idle, and my toil
all be damned in advance. One of the journals,
he told me, if carefully treated with, would make
the merits of my plan known to the whole fashion
able world ; nay, that a breath of praise from that
quarter, would make my letters, fashionable let.
ters. He cited two or three books, which by a
single half-column of commendation, had been se
cured the run of the town ; and he assured me
that not a few boarding-school misses were crazily
in love with the authors bepraised by the journal in
question ; and moreover, that its editor had secured
eligible husbands to some half dozen despairing
TIIE JOUKNALS. 6
literary spinsters, who had been honored with as
siduous, and determined complimentary notices,
at his hands.
Another journal, I was told, must be conciliated,
or it would become rank assailant, both of my de
sign and of its execution ; though, by my publish
er's own confession, it seemed quite questionable,
if its assaults would not work me more favor, even
than the prettiest of its compliments. Another,
whose literary budget was most astutely managed
by a keen admirer of the late Mr. Charles Fourier,
would carry news of me to all the hotel tables of
the town ; and a flattering notice, if it could be se
cured, would make my papers particularly palata
ble to all who make a joke of society. A fourth,
read at all tea-drinkings, and very safe for Sunday
perusal, or for nervous invalids, would give me the
stamp of propriety among good old ladies, and all
respectable people : And yet another, by bare men
tion if only the types did not get askew, would
make me matter of gossip with all suoh gadding,
companionable housewives, as are forever on the
look-out for terrible casualties, personal move
ments, and arrivals at the hotels.
My publisher farther suggested a connection
with some one of those literary coteries, which ho
tells me belong to the reading population of the
1*
6 THE LORGNETTE.
town, and which would trumpet my design in a
quiet way, at social gatherings make my papers a
standard tea-topic, and flatter even my short
comings.
Some of these coteries, he told me, had stated
meetings, at which all new literary matters were
discussed over coffee and ices ; and that it needed
only a rehearsal from the lips of some blooming
litterateurs in bodice, and an approving word or
two from some of the committee managers, to give
to the work of a new writer the dignity of repu
tation.
To the suggestion in regard to the newspapers,
which touched my publisher in a tender point his
purse I replied, by enclosing him a cheque, which
would secure him against all possible loss.
Of the coteries, I told him, I was wholly un
known ; and as it would come into my plan to
speak very freely of all such cliques as assume the
privilege of giving to the town its literary opinions,
I begged to be excused from making any over
tures. Nor will I conceal the fact, that this decis
ion of mine was sustained by the conviction that
all such overtures, coming from one in my humble
condition in the literary world, would be treated
with rank disdain.
As for topic, it will vary with the week, and with
MY TOPICS. 7
my humor. Sometimes I shall fill my papers with
portraits, or such social usages as prevail, and as
seem to me deserving of remark ; and shall en
deavor to give you an idea of our town life, by call
ing up to your eye appearances of street and play
house. At other times, I shall hope to light your
features into a smile, by sketching, in my careless
way, the lounges and loges of the Opera, and per
haps an interior of City Salon with this special and
firm proviso, however that in no instance the hos
pitality which may be accorded to me as a stran
ger, will be abused. You will understand, then,
that when I speak of the receptions of such as
Mistress Dolly Dragall not that I have the honor
of any such acquaintance, and am abusing a tender
confidence, but that I make her a type (if she
really exist) of some particular usage, and hope
honestly to do her honor, by extending the publicity
of her charms, and to flatter her vanity by des
canting on the suavity of her address.
Town coats, and costumes, and mantillas, will
not be out of the range of my LORGNETTE, and any
innocent little extravagances of hat, or pelisse, or
shoe-tie, will be touched for your amusement, as
daintily as the prettiest flower wreaths in the
hands of Miss Lawson's girls.
I shall depict for you, from time to time, samples
8 THE LORGNETTE.
of the different social stages and fashionable gra
dations which meet my eye ; and shall try to satis
fy your country curiosity, by testing their ground
work. You must not be surprised, indeed, my
dear Fritz, if within the range of my glass, should
come up some old country acquaintances, whom
we remember years ago in pretty rustic deshabille,
and with strong nasal twang, now riding in car
riages, emblazoned with such heraldry as does
honor to the ingenuity of Collis and Lawrence !*
Delicate work, you will say ; but I know no reason
in the world why fashionable pretensions, however
noisy in their claims, or however successful in their
empiricism, should be too high or too sacred for
the curious and earnest gaze of a simple-minded
looker-on, even though he avail himself of the
slightly magnifying powers of a LORGNETTE.
As for literary opinions, and men, and books,
they will drop into my papers at intervals ; not so
much as topic for learned and critical remark, as
by way of weather-cocks to show how the current
of town opinions is drifting. Book-making has be
come so much a matter of trade, mere accommo
dation of supply to demand, that it seems to me
* Eminent carriage manufacturers in New- York ; who, if they are
duly grateful for this allusion, will send one of their new Britskas to
the editor of the LOKOLNETTE.
MY TOPICS. 9
far more reasonable, on all principles of public
economy, to rail at the readers of bad books rather
than their writers.
Religious and moral habitudes their tendencies
and exhibitions will without doubt, occasionally
sweep over the field of vision, and if they do not
pass so quickly as to render the effort vain, they
shall be reduced to some sort of classification. In
deed, I shall make very free to speak of the innu
merable bickerings and schisms, which, as I hear,
belong to church life in town ; nor between doubt
ful Bishops, and pungent Lady Alice in breeches,
will the topic be without its sources of amusement.
And if a little good-natured raillery may have the
effect of rendering ridiculous such absurdities as
belong to town practices of Avorship, I shall feel as
if engaged in an Apostolic labor ; and as if, with
out the laying on of hands, I were as good a ser
vant of the Mother Church, as the leanest of the
Bishops, or the fattest of the Vestry-men. Nor
shall the Barnburners, wire-pullers, office-seekers,
journalists, and other political quidnuncs be passed
by unceremoniously. I promise you, they shall
have their sittings. I might even adopt for molto,
if it had not been adopted ad nauseam, that line
<>f Terence :
Niiiil Innn.'irti a me nlicnuui puto.
10 THE LORGNETTE.
And I could translate it with more freedom than
would have been tolerated on the university bench