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Southern accent, Sept. 2008-Apr. 2009 (Volume v.64) online

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and is in God's.


Trying to look past our personal looking glas

Delyann Hernandez


I was talking to a friend to-
day. We're not that close and
when I first met her, I honestly
didn't like her. She was loud
and attention grabbing and I'm
an introvert, so naturally I got
a bad first impression. I talked
to her tonight and she told me
a little about her life. Her fam-
ily has some serious issues but
she's still seeking God. She's
a good girl and I have seen
God working through her in
an amazing way. It takes me
a while to warm up to people

and I regret that it took me so
long to warm up to her.

I started thinking about all
the people I have met and got
bad first impressions of and
whose names had a bad con-
notation with me afterward.
I thought about all the people
that view me as a stuck-up ice
queen. And my mind screams
out against that stereotype be-
cause it's not who I am at all.
It just might be people's first
impression of me because I'm
shy. How superficial to judge
people by a first meeting, or,
"I have a bad vibe from this

dude." You know how many
times I've said that? One too

Our opinions, ideas and feel-
ings can change with the wind.
This minute I like it, the next
I hate it. How can we judge a
relationship with a person so

If God were to sit down with
us in the cafe, never meeting
us before, and He got a "bad
vibe" from us, would He leave
the table after we ate and hope
He never had to hang out with
us again? I really hope not I'm
glad God gives me chances.

I'm glad God
gives me chances.
Hundreds, thou-
sands, millions of

chances to re-
deem my former

Hundreds, thousands, mil-
lions of chances to redeem my
former behavior. I'm glad He
looks at my heart and not at

the one conversation well
three months ago. BecauaJ
He did the human race»
be in bad shape.

Yes, I know some 1
just don't get along wiM
ers, but I truly believe i«J
find some redeeming <
in everybody. You kno«"<
Because I am everybody'
are everybody. If we in
the time to try and seen
as God sees people I" 1 ""]
world would be such a <r


o pinion


Sarah Hayhoe

Opinion Editor

[email protected]

Bible Bowling for President: Captives and murder charges?

I Sarah Hayhoe

I PriHinN F nlTnB

I Last week, a friend of mine
■(who is currently attending
I seminary) sent me a remark-
lable e-mail. "If you want to be
I a part of what God is doing, to
■have a hand in the rising and
■falling of nations..." he wrote,
■"Please read Judges 5:12 and
■its natural follow-up, Genesis
14:8 (perhaps adding a bit of a
|"Mc-" to the front of a particu-
lar repeated word)."
I I decided to investigate fur-
Ither. He stated that he found
■these isolated passages rather
Ensightful and advised reading
thmi before [last] Tuesday.
■Uthough the election has been
Bedded. I think the verses still

warrant being shared

In Judges, the people of the
Lord cry out at the city gates,
"Arise, Barak! Take captive
your captives, O son of Abi-
noam," while in Genesis "[Mc]
Cain said to his brother Abel,
'Let's go out to the field.' And
while they were in the field,
[Mc]Cain attacked his brother
Abel and killed him."

I chuckled over these refer-
ences, read them to a friend or
two, and recalled the absentee
ballot waiting for me in my top
desk drawer. The next time I
checked my inbox, I found an-
other message from the semi-
nary student's mother entitled
"The Ultimate Rebuttal."

"Son of mine," she wrote,
"Please prayerfully read Eccle-

siates 10:2. If you still ques-
tion, read verse three while
you're at it. Love, Mother

I grabbed my Santa Biblia
back off the shelf and flipped
to Ecclesiastes. Verse two
breaks it down. "The heart of
the wise inclines to the right,
but the heart of the fool to
the left." Verse three drives it
home. "Even as he walks along
the road, the fool [the one in-
clined to the left] lacks sense
and shows everyone how
stupid he is." I think Mother
Martha won the Bible Bowl,
but Barack won the election.
These are serious times, seri-
ous enough to call for Bible
study and a sense of humor.

Graphic by Christina Weitzel

Barack and Roll: At least the president doesn't really matter

Barah Hayhoe

PjpiMinM Fnnng

H We have a president-elect.
While supporters holler "Ba-
Ifeck and Roll!" in the streets
of Southern Village, others
Brepare to stop, drop and roll.
■ Perhaps the good news for
ElcCain voters and third-party
kgDters (and everyone else for
|&at matter) is that the world
Jjidn't end in September or
October as predicted by sev-
A&al forceful e-mail forwards
Ecularing this semester.
- Another point to ponder
(and maybe bring up in awk-
ward social gatherings) is the
Westion raised by economist
Stephen Dubner:
■ "How much does the presi-
<«nt of the United States really
matter anyway?"

erage, we tend to
scribe to the "Great Man

■ft aty " 6Ven beIievin g *at
™ President affects every as-
P** of our lives more so than
Parents, employers or spous-
* But if this belief is false,
"1, Dubner posits, the good

news for any of us who dislike
the current president or the
president-elect is that neither
affects our lives as much as
we feared. On the flip side, it
also means no president-elect
is going to "swoop in and fix

The most unfortunate thing
about elections is that, they
kill campaigns. It's sad, to see
the hype die down— nd more
"Presidential Bash" editions of
Saturday Night Live, no more
Obama bobbleheads on Mys-
pace, no more emotionalized
McCain commercials and no
more Southern Accent editori-
als on voting. Since I know we
will all miss the campaign pro-
cess of past months, I propose
a memorial, here and now, a
requiem for the best moments
of this beautiful, American
The Primaries.

"Pssst! Hey, you've gotta
hear this," my seat partner
Sandra leaned across her open
laptop to whisper.

"What?" I could see results
from recent primaries pulled

up on the screen.
' "Ok. So, Chelsea Clin-
ton went to Afghanistan and
interviewed a U.S. soldier
there. She asked, 'What are
you afraid of?' The guy took a
minute to answer, then said,
"Three things. I'm afraid of
three things. ..Osama, Obama,
and yo' mama.'"
T-One Week and

"No, I want to hear what
you have to say. Why does
Obama scare you?" Lisa asked
Mr. Homunchuk, our host
and Bible study leader. His
wife rolled her eyes as our Fri-
day night study group stalled
somewhere between the Sec-
ond Coming and the New Je-

"Don't get me wrong. I al-
ways thought my party would
be the one to enact the Sunday
law, but Obama is a socialist.
My wife's parents are from
Ukraine. They're not politi-
cally minded, but when they
hear Obama speak, they say,
'He belongs in Europe. We've
seen that done. What he's talk-

ing about doesn't work.' I'm a
businessman and that scares

"Aren't social programs and
better healthcare good invest-
ments for all of us?"

"I want my federal gover-
ment to protect my borders
and build my roads, that's it...
Did you say you were a social
work major?"

"Can we get back to Dan-
iel and Revelation, now?"
Mrs. Homunchuk asked.
Early Voting.

"So, who did you vote for?
Were lines long at early voting

"Lines weren't too bad,"
Lindsay said as she filled her
cup at the soda fountain. "I
voted for Obama. I'm afraid
McCain would die in office and
I don't like Sarah Palin."

I picked up some hot sauce
for my Crunchwrap Supreme
on our way to a booth.

"It doesn't sound like you're
a big fan of Obama."
"Not so much."
"Thats interesting. Darreli
told me he voted for McCain

today, and the reasons he gave
were all things he didn't like
about Obama."

"I guess that's the way it
goes. Can I use a napkin?"
Election Day.

"Hey, this is important. Is
Brianna there?" Nick's ability
to sound both desperate and
sarcastic always amazed me.

"No, she's not back from
class yet," I replied. "What's
going on? Did you vote to-

"Ah, that's the thing. I can't
make it to my home precinct
today to vote for Obama. So
I have to find someone who
would have voted for McCain
in Tennessee but isn't."

"So, if Brianna isn't go-
ing home to vote for McCain,
ydull be at peacB?"

"Only if she would have
voted for McCain if she could

Later that night at Grant
Park in Chicago, president-
elect Barack Obama said, "This
is your victory."





Rachel Hopkins

Lifestyles Editor

[email protected]

Five reasons why we're glad


Two years. It's long enough
for a 2006 newborn to learn
the words "John McCain."
But now the election has fi-
nally come and gone, what will
life be like? Sure, chances are
good we'll still hear about elec-
tion results until the Supreme
Court puts an end to it again,
but in the immediate after-
math of the election there are
a few things to look forward

We Can Be Friends

Again. You can finally stop
avoiding "those people" on
the promenade because when
it's all over and a winner is
decided, we can all finally see
the one billion things we have
in common instead of the one
thing we didn't. Yes, won't it
be nice to get back to the good
old days where only intramu-
ral games ruined friendships?
I can't wait!

New News.

/It might take until December,
/but I'm looking forward to
/ walking into the Student Cen-
' ter and NOT hearing the big
screen TV outside of KR's blast
Wolf Blitzer's analysis of poll
numbers and potential politi-
cal gaffs. Finally we can catch
up on all the terrorist threats
that have been drowned out by
"mavrickness" and "change."

Economic Gains.

Now that people won't be
dropping millions of dollars
over the weekend so Obama
^ can buy infomercials, they
P can go back to buying other
things... like groceries, gaso-
line and houses. True, Sarah
Palin's wardrobe might begin
to go out of style, but without
expensive apaigns suck-
ing money out of ever-loyal

Joe-the-Plummers' pocket, he
might start to pay off his crush-
ing debt instead. It's probably
little more than a drop in the
bucket, but at this stage in the
game, every drop counts.

New Classroom

Yeah, it's been fun...even
spirited at times. But now that
it's over we might be able to
spend the first few minutes
of class talking about new
subjects...like maybe class
material. Don't get me wrong,
discussions can make for
excellent mental breaks from
the raw material at hand, but
when the same discussion
is old enough to begin potty
training, chances are good it's
time to move on.

New Commercials.

If you are like me and don't
have TWO, this is actually
pretty exciting. No more "And
I approve this message" or
"For more info visit wealthy-
org." I, for one, want to learn
more about products which
I can apply directly where it
hurts or fall in love all over
again with the restaurant that
never serves a biscuit that's
been frozen.

So whether you are fret-
ting about who lost or gloat-
ing about who won, whether
you think our nation just got
snookered or is about to make
a change for the better, take a
second to look around and be
thankful for the little things
that make America so great.
Either way this excruciatingly
long election season is draw-
ing to a close and that alone is
something to be happy about.


of the Week

Why would you make a bad president?

Because I suck at being on
time for everything.

- Shirley Rikeros

Because I don't like politics.

- Brandon Russell

I'm not a good enough liar.

Because I don't think the

problems we have can be
fixed. -LeeNevils

'Cause I'm a woman.

- Krystin Erickson

I look bad under heavy
lighting. - Audrey Cooper

Because I'm a hick.

- Jedediah Drumm

Because I don't know how
to run this a country.
- April McNulty

I would never go to
meetings. Actually, I would
never go to anything. I'm
just too lazy. - Alexandrea

Get Your GrCCR 0"



Before I get to this week's
tip, I'd just like to say how
ashamed I am of all of you
that read this section ev-
ery week. Even though last
week's tip about improving
your gas mileage had TWO
errors in it, only one person
wrote me about it. In case
you're wondering what
those errors were, allow me
to enlighten you.

Error number l: I told
you to turn your car off at
long lights, but you should
NOT turn your car off at a
stoplight, even if that light
is ridiculously long. This is
illegal in most states and
generally unsafe. Duh.

Error number 2: I also
said to be ready to go as
soon as you start your car,
but you should NOT drive
off as soon as you turn your
car on. It's actually good for
your car if you let it idle for
at least 15-30 seconds to
allow the oil to be pumped
through the moving parts
(among other reasons).

In summary, don't idle
if you don't have to, but do
idle if you do. Now, let's get
on with our extremely ac-
curate and true green tip
for this week.

Vexation: My guilt over
how quickly my bathroom
trash fills up with product

Solution: Go old school
with bars of soap.

Body wash may be nice, but
when you're due for a refill,
try a bar instead. You'll get
just as clean. I promise.

Clarification: If you
think in terms of weight,
packaging accounts for a
whopping 31 percent of the
waste we send to landfills.
Bars of soap have consider-
ably less packaging. Plus,
they're cheaper. And just
think about all those germs
your shower scrunchy is
growing. Ewwww.

Tip and info from idealbite.

Weekend I

Not sure what to do this
weekend? Here are a few
ideas to get you headed in f/ie|
right direction.


Chattanooga Symphony!
Orchestra performs Grie5|
Strauss and Stravinsky

Tivoli Theater, Chattanoogi|

8 p.m., Thursday, Nov. 6

$10 student price

chattanoogasymphony.org I

"Sea Monsters 3D" anl|
"Dolphins and Whales"

IMAX Theater,


7, 8 & 9 p.m., Saturdajl'l
(various show times

$8.50 for adults


Mystery Dinner Shows |

Vaudeville Cafe,


8:30 p.m., Saturdays (ol»l
show times available) I

$26.50 for adults (ind#|


Chattanooga MarM

Noon-5P.m.,Sunday,N» H |






Zack Livingston

Sports Editor

[email protected]

Same faces, new places

It is time yet again for the
Lew NBA season! Boston
feroved last year it was their
fcffseason trades that helped
Rem win their 17th NBA
thampionship last season.
■The Los Angeles Lakers made
■ key midseason trade for Pau
Basol that carried them to the
Inals with the league MVP,
Kobe Bryant. So if the other
Rite teams in the NBA want
to make a finals run they can
take the Boston and Los An-
geles approach by bringing in
a big name. Here is a list of
some players that are on new
team.', that have already made
an impact.

Maurice Williams (point
guard, Cleveland Cavillers)
Last year in 66 games for the
Milwaukee Bucks he averaged
17.2 points per game, 6.3 as-
sists and shooting 38 percent
from the three point line. This
year, for the Cleveland Cav-
Uiers he is averaging 12 points
per game, two assists per game,
and shooting 60 percent from
iffis three point line.

■^All Houston
■has to do now is
■have their core
I group of guys
^Rstay healthy for
Bibout 75 games
|tnd they should
be fine. «I1

irmaine O'Neal (center/
Power forward, Toronto Rap-
tors) Last year in 42 games
for the Indiana Pacers he av-
eraged 13.6 points per game,
6.7rebounds per game and 2.1
Mocks per game. This year,
f or the Toronto Raptors he is

!!!^ ging l? P ' 1 " 5 P" S ame >
rebounds per game, and
Jocks per game. Com-

AP Photo

Indiana Pacers Danny Granger, bottom, gets landed on by Boston Celtic's
Paul Pierce as they dive for a loose ball in the third quarter of a NBA bas-
ketball game in Indianapolis, Saturday, Nou.i, 2008. Granger lost two
teeth while diving for a loose ball.

ing off a very disappointing
season filled with injuries in
Indiana, O'Neal has a point
to prove in Toronto with new
teammate Chris Bosh; they
can be the best front court duo
in the East.

Elton Brand (power for-
ward, Philadelphia 76ers) Last
year in eight games for the
Los Angeles Clippers he av-
eraged 17.6 points per game
and eight rebounds per game.
This year, for the Philadelphia
76ers he is averaging 14 points
per game and 13 rebounds per
game. Brand missed most of
last year due to injury, but he
is back and better than ever.
Now with a new team and an
easier conference, his oppor-
tunity to win a championship

Ron Artest (forward, Hous-
ton Rockets) Last year in 57
games for the Sacramento
Kings he averaged 20.5 points
per game, 5.8 rebounds per
game and 3.5 assists per
game. This year, for the Hous-
ton Rockets he is averaging
18.3 points per game, five re-
bounds per game and two as-
sists per game. Artest brings
his rough, scrappy style to the
must needed Houston Rock-
ets. Now there is less pressure
on Tracy McGrady to perform

since he now has another scor-
ing option. All Houston has
to do is have their core group
of guys stay healthy for about
75 games and they should be

James Posey (small for-
ward, New Orleans Hornets)
Last year in 74 games for the
Boston Celtics he averaged 7.4
points per game, 4.4 rebounds
per game and shooting 38
percent from the three point
line. This year for the New
Orleans' Hornets he is averag-
ing 11 points per game, three
rebounds per game and shoot-
ing 50 percent from the three
point line. Posey is known as
"the new Robert Horry" to
some people due to his past
success for different cham-
pionship teams. He brings
great defense and clutch three
point shooting to a young and
now experienced New Orleans
Hornets team.

These five impact play-
ers can only go as far as their
teams will take them. The
more they step up during the
regular season, the more wins
these different teams should
collect. There is no reason
why Cleveland, Toronto, Phil-
adelphia, Houston or New Or-
leans cannot go deep into the

Almost Fair and Fly Swatters

LtNSKI Cherisol


Almost Fair and Fly Swat-
ters are the first teams to win
Southern's Intramural Futsal

In men's futsal, team Al-
most Fair has a reputation for
making the final score seem as
if the game wasn't fair at all.
Mwila Chikobe's performance
on Wednesday night was
breathtaking as he scorched
team Ankle Surgeon's defense
with seven goals to win 13-3.
Ankle Surgeons fell to an early
unexpected 8-1 score at half-
time, and from there it was a
matter of trying to catch up
with the high scoring of Al-
most Fair.

"He [Chikobe] can really
put numbers on the board,"
said Alex Bolanos. a senior
health, physical education and
recreation major. "Once he
starts to score, then the rest of
our guys start to score, which
leads us to victory most of the

This futsal team consists
of players who actually teach
others how to play the game of
futsal at an advanced level. So
the scoreboard usually speaks
for itself and shows how good
they are at teaching. Josue
Mendoza, a senior nursing
major, did a great job putting
this group of elite players to-
gether, but a knee injury kept
him from playing with them in
the championship.

"They taught us how to
play, but sooner or later the
students will be better than
the masters," said Rhod Perfe
Uaguno, a sophomore general
studies major and a member
of Ankle Surgeons.

Team AC Milan, who met
Almost Fair in the semi-final
and held them to four goals,
was scheduled to play them
again in the finals. But due to
AC Milan being placed on the
same side of the bracket, they
played in the semis.

"We were placed on the
wrong side of the bracket,"
said Jeff Dickerson, a senior
international studies major
and captain of AC Milan. "The
final score would have been
the same, but I would have
loved to have the two best
teams meet in the finals."

On the women's side, Fly
Swatters defeated Viva La Vida
8-2. Starla Edney, a freshman

I just didn't
want to be like
the New Eng-
land Patriots
who lost the

final game.

-Silzie Vieira


French international studies
major, scored four goals of her
own to hold off Viva La Vtda.

"We came out with a hunger
because we were undefeated
the whole season and I wanted
it to carry on to the finals," said
Silzie Vieira, a junior biology
major. "I just didn't want to be
like the New England Patriots
who lost the final game."

"Overall, the inaugural fut-
sal season was a good one,
with 11 men's teams and four
women's teams," said Mike
Boyd, director of intramurals.
"But I would love to see more
women's teams sign up and
participate next futsal sea-

"As the season progressed,
we got more and more fans,"
Dickerson said. "It's quicker
than soccer and with more
goals, it makes it more exciting
for the fans and more exciting
for the players. It was very well
put together and I would like
to thank Boyd for introducing
futsal to us and I hope that it
will continue to grow."




Deadline Monday at no 0n
[email protected]

Dean's Luncheon | Featur-
ing Dr. Gary Hess in "Explain-
ing Failure: The Debate over
the Vietnam War". At the heart
of the ongoing debate over the
Vietnam War has been the
question of failure-was the
U.S. doomed to fail by waging
an unwinnable war? Was the
war winnable only to be lost
by poor civilian leadership and
divisiveness at home? Lessons
learned from the war depend
on how failure is explained.
Satiate your curiosity at noon
on November 11 in the Presi-
dential Banquet Room.

Wars and Presidential
Elections | Since World War
II, several U.S. presidential
elections have been conducted
with wars as a decisive issue
in the presidential elections
of I952, I964, I968, 2004, and
2008. In each case, the "rally
around the flag" inclination
on the part of voters was chal-
lenged by critics from the right
and/or the left. Come listen to
Dr. Gary Hess as he examines
the political interaction and
results to help illuminate pres-
idential politics on November
11 at 7p in the McKee Library
Knowledge Commons. Convo-
cation Credit.

1 Iproming eveDLtS-cal^ndaL

Friday, October 31

5:3op - Depart for Vespers at the
Lantern (Wright Hall)

5:4ip- Sunset

8p - ReMix Vespers (Church)

After Vespers - Adoration (Lynn
Wood Chapel)

Sabbath, November 1

9:30-10:158 - Continental Breakfast
(Church Fellowship Hall)

10:15a - Saltworks Sabbath School
(Church Seminar Room-upstairs)

9:75 Sabbath School (Church Fel-
lowship Hall)

SMC Sabbath School (Church Gos-
pel Chapel-upstairs)

Adoration - Tim Cross (Church)

10:45a - A Day of Psalms hosted by
BCU - Richard Means & Eliud Sicard
(Thatcher Chapel)

11:30a - Connect - LeClare Litch-
field (Collegedale Academy)

11:45a - Renewal- Tim Cross

2p - Brazilian Club Evangelism
(Wright Hall Steps)

2:i5p - Flag Camp - RSVP to
[email protected] to reserve spot
(Wright Hall Steps)

3p - Sabbath Ministries: Sick &
Shut-In (Wright HaB)

5:30p - Evensong, Reader. Joann
Sifontes, Organist (Church)

7:30p - Extreme Dodgeball (lies
P.E. Center)

Sunday, Novembers

National Stress Out Week

10a - Committee of 100 Brunch
(Presidential Banquet Room)

lia-ip - Blu-SAUce Activity (Games
for children - Church Playground)

Monday, November 3

GRE Subject Exam only (Lynn

National Stress Out Week

SA Senate Spirit Week: Monochro-
matic /Environmental Awareness Day

8-Noon - Muffins for Malamulo!
(Student Center)

Noon-ip - Stress video, Genre: hu-
mor (Presidential Banquet Room)

i-4p - Stress Out Booth (Student

3:30p - University Senate

7P - Scream Fest! (Talge and Thatch-
er front porches)

7:30p - Piano Duo: Ning An & Glo-
ria Chien (Ackerman)

Tuesday, November 4

National Stress Out Week

Online Winter Registration for Re-
turning Seniors >93 Credit Hours

SA Senate Spirit Week: Culture Day

Veteran's Day

na-3:30p - Stress Out Booth (Stu-

Online LibraryEmma Florence CunliffeSouthern accent, Sept. 2008-Apr. 2009 (Volume v.64) → online text (page 20 of 63)