G. R. M. Devereux.

The Etiquette of Engagement and Marriage online

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should never be recrimination in public between man and wife, nor the
utterance of taunts as to the avarice, expediency, or cowardice that
may have influenced either side in the presence of a third person. Few
attain to the highest happiness of which we are capable in this state:
few, perhaps, make the most of what they have; yet it is very rare to
find a married woman who honestly wishes herself single, and that is a
powerful argument in favour of an institution which seems to give the
weaker sex her full share of the burden. There is much soul-disquieting
discussion nowadays on the relative positions of the sexes. The following
lines express that which surely might make marriage a very heaven on
earth: -

"This is Woman's need;
To be a beacon when the air is dense,
A bower of peace, a lifelong recompense -
This is the sum of Woman's worldly creed.

And what is Man the while? And what his will?
And what the furtherance of his worldly hope?
To turn to Faith, to turn, as to a rope
A drowning sailor; all his blood to spill
For One he loves, to keep her out of ill -
This is the will of Man, and this his scope."



Courtship and Marriage, Etiquette of -
Acting as a host during, 28
Amateur acting and, 17
Artistic fellowship in, 16
Athletic comradeship in, 16
Best age for, 41
Between friends who have become lovers, 34
Breaches of etiquette in, 19, 25
Danger to be avoided in, a, 27
Dark side of an unequally aged, 43
Drifting in, 42
Etiquette for the man who lives at home in, 27
Etiquette for the man who lives in rooms, 28
Exchange of hospitality in, 26
Hints to the man about the girl's family, 23
Hints to the man making up his mind about, 17
"Ineligibles" and, 17
Intellectual affinity in, 16
Kindly offices of relations and friends, 23
Love at first sight, 22
Middle-aged lovers, 44
Old men who court youth, 43
Opportunities for, 16
Question of age in, the, 41
Question of presents, the, 26
Social inequality in, 32
Social intercourse and its etiquette, 18
Tact shown in, 19
The girl's case, 22
The man's case, 22
With the bachelor girl, 30
With the business girl, 31
With the dramatic student, 33
With the home girl, 30
With the medical student and hospital nurse, 33
With the student or professional girl, 32
Young lovers, 42
Young men who woo maturity, 42

Engagements -
Attitude of parents and guardians in, 52
Breaking off, 62
Clandestine, 62
Congratulations on, 53
Etiquette of in former days, 51
Friends who act as go-betweens, 63
Going about together, 58
His visits to her home, 56
In France, 66
In Germany, 66
In Greece, 69
In Hungary, 69
In Italy, 65
In Norway, 69
In Russia, 67
In Spain, 67
In Sweden, 68
In Switzerland, 68
Justifiable clandestine, 63
Length of, the, 61
Letters from and to future mothers-in-law, 55
Love-letters, 60
Making acquaintance with future relations, 54
Making them known, 53
Parent's refusal to, 52
Question of expenses in, 58
Telling friends at a distance, 53
The engaged couple -
In public, 56
In society, 57
Visiting at the same house, 58
The interview with the father, 51
The ring, 54
What the girl should avoid in, 54
When the mother shares the secret, 63


Etiquette -
How to follow up an acquaintance, 23
Of intercourse between unconfessed lovers, 25
Of Introductions, 21

Flirts -
Female -
Due reserve of, 39
How they accept a changed situation, 39
How they may give encouragement, 39
How to ward off unwelcome offers, 40
Methods of, 37
Transparent devices of, 40
Kindly spontaneous flirts, 37
Male -
Making a girl conspicuous, 36
Slow awakening of, 39
Two classes of, 36
Ways of escape for, 38
Who change their minds on the verge of a proposal, 38
To withdraw gracefully from a flirtation, 38

Honeymoon, the -
Disillusion, passing or permanent, 96
How long to stay on, 94
Inevitable test of temperament, 95
Possible disappointments in, 95

House, the -
Bride's share in the matter, 80
Furnishing, 79
Selection of, 79
Things to be considered, 80

Marriage -
Bride's burdens, the, 72
Bridesmaids' dresses, 73
Choice of bridesmaids, the, 72
Concluding remarks about, 120
Different nationalities, between, 103
Expenses of, 73
Fixing the day, 71
Invitations to the, 75
Mixed, 102
Necessary formalities in mixed, 104
Of British subjects living abroad, 105
Of different religious persuasions, 105

Marriages -
Of minors and wards in Chancery, 106
Proposals -
A woman's point of view, 48
A warning to women, 50
Methods of, 46
Some things to avoid in, 47
Tact in choosing the opportunity for, 46
Too keen a sense of humour in, 47
Too much haste in, 47
Vaguely worded offers, 48
When a woman may help, 49
When the woman may take the initiative, 49
Question of colour, the, 102
Scotch, 106
Trousseau, the, 74
Wedding frocks, 73

Marrying -
For a home, 119
For a housekeeper, 119
For love, 117
For money, 118

Newly married couple, the -
At home, 100
In society, 101

Return home, the -
Housekeeping, on, 98
Money matters, on, 99
Plunge into the practical, on, 98
Wedding calls, 100
What it means, 97

Runaway matches, 113

Second marriages -
Children, the, 114
Comparison with the predecessor, 116
Dress for a widow, 115
For and against, 114
Home, the, 115
Widower, the, 115
With a widow, 114

Wedding, the -
Banns, 81
Bride's dowry, the, 85
Civil contract, the, 83
Licence for, 82
Nature of the ceremony, the, 81
Religious ceremony, the, 81
Settlements, 84
Witnesses for, 83

Wedding day, the -
Arrangement of seats on, 90
At the bride's house, 89
Best man, the, 88
Bride's parents, the, 88
Bridegroom, the, 88
{123} Bridesmaids, the, 87
Dressing the bride, 89
Etiquette of, 86
Guests, the, 92
Journey, the, 94
Luggage on, 94
Presents on view, 93
Social side, the, 90
Some items of expense, 91
Starting for the honeymoon, 93
Tying of the knot, the, 90
What is expected of the bride, 87
Where to go for the honeymoon, 94

Wedding presents -
Art of giving, the, 78
How to send them, 78
Temptation, a, 78
What to give, 77

Weddings, Continental -
Breton, 109
Danish, 112
French, 112
German, 107
Hungarian, 111
Italian, 109
Norwegian, 108
Russian, 109
Spanish, 111
Swedish, 110
Swiss, 111


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Online LibraryG. R. M. DevereuxThe Etiquette of Engagement and Marriage → online text (page 9 of 9)