crutches had so alarmed me, that I could scarcely be
induced to return. When we went back, we found
him conversing calmly with his officers ; but scarcely
had I entered the room when 1 was taken ill and
forced to return to the queen's apartment, where I
had two fainting fits ; I stayed there for some time.
The waiting woman of the queen, after having consi-
dered me attentively, exclaimed; "Good heavens!
madam ! what ails you ? What a plight you are in ! it
is horrible !" "I do not know what I ail," said I,
"but I am very ill." She brought me a looking-
glass, and I was very much surprised to see my face
and breast covered with red spots. I ascribed it to
the violent emotion into which I had been thrown,
and thought no more of it ; hut as soon as I returned
to the king's room, the rash disappeared, and I again
fell into a swoon. It proceeded from my having to
cross a long suite of excessively cold rooms. In the
night I had a violent fever, and the next day I was so
ill, that I let the queen know I could not stir out ;
she sent me word that I must come to her dead or
alive. My reply was, that a rash with which I was
covered rendered my compliance impossible. Her
commands to move were however repeated ; I was
accordingly dragged to her room where I had a suc-
cession of fainting fits : and in the same state I was
carried to the king. My sister, seeing me so very ill,
and supposing me on the point of death, pointed me
out to the king, who had not taken any notice of me.
"What ails you?" said he to me; "you are very
MARGRAVINE OF BAREITII. 113
much altered, but I shall soon cure you." At the
same time lie made me empty a large goblet of very
old hock, of great strength. Scarcely had I swallowed
it when my fever increased, arid I began to be deli-
rious. The queen saw that it was necessary to send
me to my room ; I was therefore carried to my bed
and laid upon it in full dress, being strictly ordered
to re-appear at night. But I was not long there be-
fore I had a dreadful paroxysm. Dr Stahl, the phy-
sician, took my illness for a violent fever, and or-
dered rne several remedies quite contrary to my case.
I continued delirious all that day and the next. When
I recovered my senses, I prepared for death. In my
short lucid intervals, I ardently wished to die, but
when I saw madame de Sonsfeld, and my good Mer-
rnann weeping near my bed, I endeavoured to console
them by telling them that I was weaned from the
world, and that I was going to enjoy a repose which
no one could disturb. " I am," said I, " the cause
of both the queen's and my brother's sorrows. If I
am to die, tell the king that I have always loved and
respected him, that I have no fault to reproach my-
self with towards him, that therefore I hope he will
give me his blessing before I quit this world. Tell
him, that I beseech him to treat the queen and my
brother more gently, and to bury all discontents and
animosities against them in my grave. It is the only
boon I wish him to grant me, and my only cause of
uneasiness in my present state."
I lingered forty-eight hours between life and death,
at the end of which the small-pox manifested itself.
The king had not enquired after me all the time I had
been ill. When he was informed that I had the small-
pox, he sent Holtzendorff, his surgeon, to see how I
was. This brutal fellow repeated to me a hundred
harsh things from the king, and added some of his
own. I was so ill that 1 paid no attention to what he
said. He confirmed however the account which had
been given to the king of my health. His appreheri-
114 MEMOIRS OF THE
sion that my sister might be attacked by this infec-
tious malady, suggested to him all possible precau-
tions to prevent it, but in a manner extremely harsh
towards me. I was immediately treated as a prisoner
of state ; every approach to my chamber was sealed
up except a single communication. The queen, her
domestics, and my brother had strict orders not to
visit me. No one was left with me but my governess
and my poor nurse Mermann, who was pregnant, and
notwithstanding that, attended me night and day with
unparalleled zeal and attachment. My bed was in an
excessively cold chamber. The broth I had served
up tome was nothing but water and salt; and when
something better was asked for me, the answer was,
that the king had said, " it was good enough forme."
When I slumbered a little towards morning, I was
suddenly awakened by the noise of drums ; the king
would rather have witnessed my death than have or-
dered the drums to cease. To complete my misfortunes,
my good Mermann fell ill ; as the pains she suffered
prognosticated a miscarriage, she was transported to
Berlin. My second waiting-woman was sent for, who
being every day inebriated was unable to attend me.
My brother, who had already had the small-pox, did
not forsake me ; he came by stealth twice a day to
see me. As the queen did not dare to visit me, she
was every moment secretly sending to hear how I
was. For nine successive days I continued in great
danger ; all the symptoms of my disorder appeared
to prognosticate death ; and all who saw me thought
that if I escaped with life I should be horribly dis-
figured ; but my career was not yet run ; I was re-
served to experience all the adversities which will be
detailed in the sequel of these memoirs. I had the
small-pox three times over, as soon as it was dry it
began afresh; yet I was not marked, and my com-
plexion grew much finer than it had been.
In the mean time, M. de Bremer arrived at Pots-
dam, from the margrave of Anspach. He presented
MARGRAVINE OF BAREITH. 115
the betrothing-ring to my sister, and her promise
of marriage was taken without any ceremony. The
king also recovered from his gout ; and this return of
health dispelled his ill-humour, of which I now be-
came the sole object. Holtzendorff came from time
to time to see me, by order of the king ; but never
without delivering some unpleasant message. He
always studied to heighten these messages by using
the most mortifying expressions. He was a creature
of Sekendorff, and so great a favourite with the king,
that every one bent the knee before him. He used his
credit merely to do mischief, and had not even the
merit of being expert in his profession. The king
was behaving somewhat better to my brother, at the
instigation of Sekendorff and Grumkow, who entirely
ruled the mind of the monarch. The sudden changes
in the sentiments of the king to which they had been
exposed kept them in awe. They rightly feared, that
the British monarch might at last consent to the
double marriage ; in which case their plans would be
overthrown ; they were not ignorant of the efforts of
the queen, who was continually intriguing with the
court of St James's ; and they were informed of the
letter which my brother had sent to England; they
therefore formed the most abominable project to pre-
"vent all reconciliation with the English monarch.
This was to establish open discord in the royal house
of Prussia, and to force my brother by dint of ill-treat-
ment from the king to come to some violent resolution,
which might involve both him and me in guilt. Count
Finck opposed this project. My brother had a great
regard for him, and his office of governor gave him a
certain authority over the prince which might pre-
vent his taking any step prejudicial to his interests.
They therefore represented to the king, that my bro-
ther, being above eighteen, stood no longer in need of
a mentor ; and that, by depriving the prince of count
JFinck, the king would put an end to the intrigues of
the queen, whose minister he was. The king ap-
116 MEMOIRS OF THE
proved of their arguments ; the two governors were
both most graciously dismissed with considerable
pensions, and resumed their military employments.
Two officers were assigned to the prince in their
stead, as companions ; one was colonel de Rochow, a
man of great probity, but of a very narrow capacity ;
the other, major de Kaiserling, a very honest man too,
but very giddy, and a great talker, who pretended to
be witty, and was nothing but a library in confusion.
My brother liked them both very well, but Kaiser-
ling, being the youngest and very dissolute, obtained
of course the preference. My beloved brother passed
all his afternoons with me ; we were reading and writ-
ing together, and applied ourselves to the cultivation
of our understandings. I must confess, that our com-
positions frequently were satires, in which our fellow
creatures were not spared. I remember that having
read the Roman Comique of Scarron, we made a very
pleasant application of it to the imperial faction ; we
nick-named Grurnkow la Rancune, Sekendorff la Ra-
piniere, the margrave of Schwedt Saldagre, and the
king Ragotin. I certainly was highly reprehensible
thus to weaken the respect which I owed to the king ;
but I do not intend to gloss over my failings, or to
exculpate myself. Whatever causes of complaint
children may have against their parents, they never
ought to forget their duty to them. I have frequently
reproached myself for the errors of my youth in this
respect ; but the queen, instead of chiding, encou-
raged us by her applause to continue those malicious
satires. Madame de Kamken, one of her ladies, was
not spared in them. Although we had a great
esteem for that lady, we could not help noticing her
foibles, and amusing ourselves with them. As she was
very lusty and of a figure resembling that of madam e
Bourillon, we gave her that name. We often joked
about it in her presence, which made her wish to
know who that madame Bourillon might be that was
so much talked of; my brother made her believe we
MARGRAVINE OF BAREITH. 117
were speaking of the camerara-major of the queen of
Spain. After our return to Berlin, my mother one
day held a drawing-room, when the court of Spain
happened to be mentioned, madame de Kamken took
that opportunity to observe, that thecamerara-majors
were all of the family of Bourillon. Those who heard
her, laughed in her face ; and for my part, I thought
I should have been suffocated. She perceived that
she had said something silly, and inquired of her
daughter who had read a good deal, what it might be ?
The latter explained the mystery. Madame de Kam-
ken was very angry with me for having jeered her ; I
had much difficulty to pacify her.
A satirical disposition is far from estimable ; the
vice insensibly becomes habitual, and in the end we
spare neither friend nor foe. Nothing is more easy
than to turn people into ridicule ; every one has some
foible. It is amusing, I confess, to see an indifferent
person wittily bantered ; but the idea that we our-
selves are exposed to the same fate, is far from plea-
sing. How blind we poor mortals are ! we descant
on the failings of others and never reflect on our own.
I have entirely weaned myself from this vice ; I no
longer employ my satirical talent except against per-
sons of an evil disposition, whose empoisoned tongue
deserves a retort of its own venom. But I return to
my subject.
As the arrival of the margrave of Anspach was
drawing near, and this prince had not had the small-
pox, the king and queen thought proper to send me
back to Berlin ; but before I set out, I went to the
king ; he received me as usual, that is, extremely ill,
and abused me without pity. The queen fearing lest
he should proceed to greater extremities, shortened
the visit, and re-conducted me herself to my room. I
returned the next day to Berlin, where countess
Amelia had just been betrothed to M. de Viereck, a
minister of state ; death having carried off M. de Wal-
lenroth, her former admirer. The intelligence had
118 MEMOIRS OF THE
been conveyed to her some time before, while she was
on duty with the queen on a drawing-room day. As
the countess did not even know of Wallenroth being
indisposed, she was so shocked at his sudden death,
that she fainted before the whole court, which be-
trayed her intrigue with him. This accident had
greatly impaired her credit with the queen, who was
not sorry to be rid of her. The king and queen ar-
rived at Berlin a few days after me. The nuptials of
my sister were solemnized with great pomp ; and she
left us a fortnight after her marriage. Upon this I
escaped from my solitude, and shortly after attended
the queen to Wusterhausen, where the quarrels re-
specting my marriage were renewed ; we had no other
topic from morning till night. The king starved my
brother and myself; as he himself performed the
office of carver, he helped every one at table except
us ; and when by chance there was a bit left in any
dish, he spit in it to prevent our tasting of it. We
lived on nothing but coffee and milk, and dried cher-
ries, which entirely vitiated my stomach. My share
of insult and invectives, on the contrary, was ex-
tremely liberal ; the most abusive language was used
towards me all the day, and that in the presence of
every one. The displeasure of the king was even
carried to so great a length, that he ordered both my
brother and myself never to appear in his presence
but at the times of dinner and supper. The queen
used to send for us secretly, when the king was amu-
sing himself with hunting ; she posted her spies in
the fields, who came to inform her whenever the king
was seen at a distance that she might have time to
send us back. Owing to the negligence of some of
these intelligencers, the king one day was very near
catching us with the queen. There was but one door
in the room, and he came so suddenly that to avoid
him was not in our power. Fear armed us with reso-
solution ; my brother hid himself in a corner where
there was a certain convenience ; and as for me, I
MARGRAVINE OF BAREITH. 119
crept under the bed of the queen, which was so low
that it required great efforts to get under it, and 1 was
forced to recline in a very irksome posture. We had
scarcely got to our retreats when the king entered.
As he was very much fatigued with the chace, he cast
himself on the bed and slept for two hours. I was
just ready to be suffocated under the bed, and could
not help advancing my head sometimes to breathe.
The scene must have been truly comical to any disin-
terested spectator ; at length the king left the room,
and we quickly crept out of our holes, entreating her
majesty not to expose us any more to such dilemmas.
Perhaps it will be thought strange that we took no
steps to be reconciled to the king. I several times
proposed it to the queen, but she never would con-
sent ; observing, that the king's reply would be, that
if I wished for his good graces, I must marry either
the duke of Weissenfeld, or the margrave of Schwedt;
which would only render my situation worse, as I
could not comply. To this argument I had nothing
to answer, and was of course obliged to submit.
A few tranquil days succeeded this calamitous time.
The king went to Libnow, a small town of Saxony,
to have an interview with the king of Poland. Here
Grumkow and Sekendorff, supported by this monarch,
drew from my father a formal promise of my hand to
the duke of Weissenfeld, to whom I was solemnly
pledged. The king of Poland engaged to confer some
advantages upon him ; and my father thought that,
with an income of fifty thousand dollars a year, I
might live very respectably with him. In his road he
stopped at Dam, a small borough belonging to the
duke as his apanage, where he was splendidly regaled
with Hungary wine, which did not fail to invigorate
his friendship for the duke. All these underhand
dealings were however kept so secret, that we did not
learn them till some time after.
The king on his return, recommenced his ill-
usage ; he never saw my brother without threatening
120 MEMOIRS OF THE
him with his cane. The prince repeatedly told me,
that he would endure everything from his father ex-
cept hlows, and that if ever he proceeded to that ex-
tremity with him, he would withdraw from his power
by flight.
Keith the page had obtained a commission in a re-
giment quartered in the duchy of Cleves. I had been
extremely pleased at his departure, hoping that my
brother would lead a more regular life ; but I was dis-
appointed. Keith was succeeded by a second favourite,
infinitely more dangereus. This was a young man, a
captain-lieutenant of the horse-guards (gens d'armes)
named Katt ; he was a grandson of field-marshal
count Wartensleben. Having been destined for the
law, his father, general Katt, had given him an uni-
versity education, and then sent him on his travels in
foreign parts ; but as there was no favour to be hoped
for from the king but for military men, he entered
the army against his expectation. He continued how-
ever to devote himself to study ; a good understanding,
much reading, a thorough knowledge of the world,
and the select company which he still frequented, had
given a polish to his manners which at that time was
somewhat rare at Berlin. His figure was rather dis-
agreeable than prepossessing; his eyes were almost
hid under two large black eyebrows ; his countenance
carried in it a certain ominous trait that seemed to
mark his future destiny ; a tawny complexion and a
face marked with the small-pox added to his defor-
mity. He affected to be a free-thinker, and led a most
dissolute life; with these vices he combined great am-
bition and much levity. Such a favourite was not
calculated to reclaim my brother from his errors. It
was only on my return to Berlin a few days after the
king had returned from Libnow, that I heard of this
new attachment. We had enjoyed some tranquillity
for a short time, when it was disturbed by a new
event.
The queen received from my brother a letter, which
MARGRAVINE OF BAREITH. 121
was clandestinely delivered to her by one of. her do-
mestics. That letter has made so strong an impres-
sion on my mind, that I am still able to state nearly
its contents. It ran thus :
" I am in the utmost despair. What I had always
dreaded has at length happened. The king has en-
tirely forgotten that I am his son and treated me like
the meanest of men. I was entering his room this
morning as usual, as" soon as he perceived me, he
seized me by the collar and beat me with his cane
in the most cruel manner. J vainly endeavoured to
defend myself; he was so overpowered by passion,
that fatigue alone made him give over. I am driven
to extremes j I have too much honour to submit to
such treatment, and I am determined to put an end to
it one way or other."
The perusal of this letter plunged the queen and
myself into the most poignant affliction ; but my
alarm was greater than hers. I understood the
meaning of the last line better than she did ; and I
rightly judged that my brother's determination ''to
end his sufferings one way or other," alluded to an
attempt to escape. I availed myself of the grief in
which I beheld the queen, to represent to her that she
had better give up my marriage. I made her sensible
that the king of England did not intend that I should
marry his son ; that if such had been his intention he
would have acted differently ; that in the mean time
the king grew more and more irritated against her,
and against her son and me ; that having once begun
to cane my brother, his behaviour towards us would
continually grow worse, and might at last drive the
prince-royal to fatal extremities. That I confessed I
should be the most unfortunate being on earth, if I
were forced to marry the duke of Weissenfeld ; but
that I clearly saw that one of us must be sacrificed to
the hatred of Sekendorff and Grumkow ; and that I
had rather be the victim myself than my brother ;
that finally, I saw no other way of restoring harmony
M
122 MEMOIRS OF THE
in the family. The queen fell into a furious passion
against me. " Do you wish to break my heart,"
said she, " and to kill me with grief? Never men-
tion it again, I charge you ; and be persuaded, that if
you were capable of such a meanness, I should curse
you, I should deny your being my daughter, and
never suffer you to appear before me." She uttered
these last words with so much energy and agitation
that I was frightened. The consideration that she was
in a state of pregnancy heightened my terror. I en-
deavoured to appease her by assuring her, that I never
would do anything that should cause her the least
sorrow.
Madame de Bulow, first maid of honour to the
queen, had obtained that favour which had been en-
joyed by countess Amelia, who had been married
shortly after my sister. She was goodnatured and
obliging, injuring no one, but fond of intriguing, and
indiscreet. The queen employed her to obtain and
convey information, and to communicate with M. de
Bourguai, and M. Kniphausen, the first cabinet mi-
nister. The latter, a man of talents and of great abi-
lity in the conduct of affairs, was a sworn enemy to
Grumkow, and consequently of the English party.
The queen sent him my brother's letter, and asked
his advice how she might prevent the violent usage of
the king. Kniphausen was acquainted, through ma-
dame de Bulow, with the practices of Mrs Ramen.
He knew that this woman was intimately connected
with Eversmann, the great favourite of the king ; he
was sensible that the queen's confidence in that
woman was the principal cause of our sufferings, as
she exasperated the king by the accounts, true or
false, which she and her companion gave him of my
brother and me. He thought it was necessary to ob-
tain the good- will of these two individuals at any
price. He only mentioned Eversmann to the queen,
as he thought it too dangerous to name Mrs Ramen ;
and he advised her majesty to endeavour to bring
MARGRAVINE OF BAREITH. 123
him over to her interest, by promising him, on the
part of the king of England, a sum of money sufficient
to tempt him. The queen approved of this advice,
and mentioned it to M. de Bourguai. After many dif-
ficulties the ambassador sent five hundred dollars to
Eversmann ; and upon Kniphausen's entreaties, he
clandestinely transmitted a like sum to Mrs Ramen.
They both promised wonders, but when they had got
the money they informed the king of the circum-
stance, and deceived the queen and M. de Bourguai
with false confidences. This intrigue of the queen
provoked the king in the highest degree ; he fancied
himself betrayed, since she was beginning to bribe
his domestics. We shall see the effects of his resent-
ment in the year 1730, upon which I am going to
enter.
The king spent his Christmas at Berlin. He was
in excellent humour all the time, and though he did
not treat my brother and me with kindness, he yet
did not abuse us. We had found means to appease
my brother, and we were all in the utmost security,
since the good behaviour of the king had destroyed
all suspicion. But who can search the secret recesses
of the human heart?
My father returned to Potsdam. Some days after,
count Finck received a letter from him, with a sepa-
rate order not to open it but in the presence of field-
marshal Borck and Grumkow. At the same time he
was commanded, upon pain of death, not to mention
anything to any one. The two ministers, whom I
have just named had received similar injunctions with
orders to repair to the count de Finck. When they
were met they read the letter, which enclosed one to
the queen. That to count Finck ran thus :
"After Borck and Grumkow have got to your
house, you all three must go to my wife. Tell her
that I am informed of her intrigues ; that I disapprove
of them, and am weary of conniving at them ; that I
do not intend to continue the dupe of her family, by
124 MEMOIRS OF THE
whom I have been unworthily treated; that, once
for all, I am determined to marry my daughter Wil-
helmina ; but that, as a last favour, I will allow the
queen to write once more to England, and demand a
formal declaration of the British monarch about the
marriage of my daughter. Tell the latter, that in case
the answer be not conformable to my wishes, I shall
insist upon marrying her to the duke of Weissenfeld,
or the margrave of Schwedt; that I leave her the
choice ; that the queen must pledge her honour that
she will no longer oppose my wishes ; and that if she
continues to provoke me by her contradictions, I shall
break with her for ever, and banish her and her un-
worthy daughter, whom I shall disown for my child,
to Oranienburgh, where she may weep over her ob-
stinacy. Perform your duty as faithful servants, and
endeavour to induce the queen to comply with my
wishes. I shall acknowledge your service. But in