you that you are a criminal quite
unexpectedly, and no one is more sur
prised than you. I certainly know I
189
THE CASTLECOURT
was the most surprised person in
London when I realized that I But
there, I am wandering all about, and
I want to tell my story simply and
shortly.
Everybody knows that when I
married Lord Castlecourt I was
poor. What everybody does not
know is that I was a natural spend
thrift. Extravagance was in my
blood, as drinking or the love of
cards is in the blood of some men.
I had never had any money at all.
I used to wear the same gloves for
years, and always made my own
frocks not badly, either. I ve made
gowns that Lady Bundy said But
that has nothing to do with it; I m
getting away from the point.
As I said before, I was poor. I
didn t know how extravagant I was
190
DIAMOND CASE
till I married and Lord Castlecourt
gave me six hundred pounds a year
to dress on. It was a fortune to me.
I d never thought one woman could
have so much. The first two years
of our married life I did not run over
it, because we lived most of the time
in the country, and I was unused to
it, and spent it slowly and carefully.
I was still unaccustomed to it when,
after my second boy was born, Her
bert brought me to town for my first
season since our marriage.
Then I began to spend money,
quantities of it, for it seemed to me
that six hundred pounds a year was
absolutely inexhaustible. When I
saw anything pretty in a shop I
bought it, and I generally forgot to
ask the price. The shop people were
always kind and agreeable, and
191
THE CASTLECOURT
seemed to have forgotten about it as
completely as I.
After I had bought one thing they
would urge me to look at something
else, which was put away in a drawer
or laid out in a cardboard box, and
if I liked it I bought that too. If I
ever paused to think that I was buy
ing a great deal, I contented myself
with the assurance that I had six
hundred pounds a year, which was
so much I would never get to the
end of it.
After that first season a great
many bills came in, and I was quite
surprised to see I d spent already,
with the year hardly half gone, more
than my six hundred pounds. I
eould not understand how it had
happened, and I asked Herbert
about it and showed him some of my
192
DIAMOND CASE
bills, and for the first time in our
married life he was angry with me.
He scolded me quite sharply, and
told me I must keep within my al
lowance. I was hurt, and also rather
muddled, with all these different
accounts most of which I could not
remember and I made up my mind
not to consult Herbert any more, as
it only vexed him and made him
cross to me, and that I can not bear.
All the world must love me. If
there is a servant-maid in the house
who does not like me and I can feel
it in a minute if she doesn t I must
make her, or she must go away. But
my husband, the best and finest man
in the world, to have him annoyed
with me and scolding me over stupid
bills! Never again would that hap
pen. I showed him no more of them ;
193
THE CASTLECOURT
in fact, I generally tore them up as
they came in, for fear I should
leave them lying about and he would
find them. If I could help it, noth
ing in the world was ever going to
come between Herbert and me.
I also made good resolutions to be
more careful in my expenditures.
And I really tried to keep them. I
don t know how it happened that
they did not seem to get kept. But
both in London and in Paris I cer
tainly did spend a great deal I m
sure I don t know how much. I did
little accounts on the back of notes,
and they were so confusing, and I
seemed to have spent so much more
than I thought I had, that I gave up
doing them. After I d covered the
back of two or three notes with fig
ures, I became so low-spirited I
194
DIAMOND CASE
couldn t enjoy anything for the rest
of the day. I did not see that that
did anybody any good, so I ceased
keeping the accounts. And what was
the use of keeping them? If I had
not the money to pay them with, why
should I make myself miserable by
thinking about them? I thought it
much more sensible to try to forget
them, and most of the time I did!
It went on that way for two years.
When I got bills with things written
across the bottom in red ink I paid
part of them never all; I never
paid all of anything. Once or twice
tradesmen wrote me letters, saying
they must have their money, and
then I went to see them, and told
them how kind it was of them to
trust me, and how I would pay them
everything soon, and they seemed
195
THE CASTLECOURT
quite pleased and satisfied. I al
ways intended doing it. I don t
know where I thought the money was
coming from, but you never can
tell what may happen. Some friends
of Herbert had a place near the
Scotch border, and found a coal
mine in the forest. Herbert has no
lands near Scotland, but he has in
other places, and he may find a coal
mine too. I merely cite this as an
example of the strange ways things
turn out. I didn t exactly expect
that Herbert would find a coal-mine,
but I did expect that money would
turn up in some unexpected way and
help me out of my difficulties.
The beginning of the series of
really terrible events of which I am
writing was the purchase of a Rus
sian sable jacket from a furrier in
196
DIAMOND CASE
Paris called Bolkonsky. It was in the
early spring of last year. I had had
no dealings with Bolkonsky before.
A friend told me of the jacket, and
took me there. It was a real occa
sion. I knew the moment that I saw
it that it was one of those chances
with which one rarely meets. It fitted
me like a charm, and I bought it for
a thousand pounds. That miserable
Bolkonsky told me the payments
might be made in any way I liked,
and at * madame s own time. I also
bought some good turquoises, that
were going for nothing, from a jew
eler up-stairs somewhere near the
Rue de La Paix, who was selling out
the jewels of an actress. It was
these two people who wrecked me.
Not that they were my only debt
ors. I knew by this time that I
197
THE CASTLECOURT
owed a great deal. When I thought
about it I was frightened, and so I
tried not to think. But sometimes
when I was awake at night, and
everything looked dark and depress
ed, I wondered what I would do if
something did not happen. In these
moments I thought of telling my
husband, and I buried my head in
the pillow and turned cold with
misery. What would Herbert say
when he found out his wife was
thousands of pounds in debt the
Marquis of Castlecourt, who had
never owed a penny and considered
it a disgrace.
Perhaps he would be so horrified
and disgusted he would send me
away from him back to Ireland, or
to the Continent. And what would
happen to me then?
198
DIAMOND CASE
That summer we went to Castle-
court Marsh Manor, and there my
anxieties became almost unbearable.
Bolkonsky began to dun me most cru
elly. Other creditors wrote me let
ters, urging for payments. The jew
eler from whom I had bought the
turquoises sent me a letter, telling
me if I didn t settle his account by
September he would sue me. And
finally Bolkonsky sent a man over,
whom I saw in London, and who
told me that unless the sable jacket
was paid for within two months he
would "lay the matter before Lord
Castlecourt."
We went across to Paris in Sep
tember, and there I saw those dread
ful people. My other French and
English creditors I could manage, but
I could do nothing with either Bol-
199
THE CASTLECOURT
konsky or the jeweler. They spoke
harshly to me as no one has ever
spoken to me before ; and Bolkonsky
told me that "it was known Lord
Castlecourt was honest and paid his
debts, whatever his wife was." I
prayed him for time, and finally
wept wept to that horrible Jew;
and there was another man in the
office, too, who saw me. But I was
lost to all sense of pride or reserve.
I had only one feeling left in me
terror, agony, that they would tell
my husband, and he would despise
me and leave me.
My misery seemed to have some
effect on Bolkonsky, and he told me
he would give me a month to pay up.
It was then the tenth of September.
I waited for a week in a sort of
frenzy of hope that a miracle would
200
DIAMOND CASE
occur, and the money come into my
hands in some unexpected way. But,
of course, nothing did occur. By the
first of October the one thousand
pounds was no nearer. It was then
that the desperate idea entered my
mind which has nearly ruined me,
and caused me such suffering that
the memory of it will stay with me
forever.
The Castlecourt diamonds, set in
a necklace and valued at nine thou
sand pounds, were in my possession.
I often wore them, and they were
carried about by my maid a faithful
and honest creature called Sophy
Jeffers. On one of my first trips to
Paris a friend of mine had taken me
to the office of a well-known dealer
in precious and artificial stones who,
without its being generally known,
201
THE CASTLECOTJRT
did a sort of pawnbroking business
among the upper classes. My friend
had gone there to pawn a pearl neck
lace, and had told me all about it
how much she obtained on the
necklace, and how she hoped to re
deem it within the year, and how she
was to have it copied in imitation
pearls. The idea that came to me
was to go to this place and pawn the
Castlecourt diamonds, having them
duplicated in paste.
I went there on the second day of
October. How awful it was ! I wore
a heavy veil, and gave a fictitious
name. Several men looked at the
diamonds, and I noticed that they
looked at me and whispered together.
Finally they told me they would give
me four thousand pounds on them,
at some interest I ve forgotten
202
DIAMOND CASE
what it was now and that they
would replace them with paste, so
that only an expert could tell the
difference. The next day I went
back, and they gave me the money.
I do not think they had any idea
who I was. At any rate, while the
papers were full of speculations
about the Castlecourt diamonds, they
made no sign.
I paid off all my debts, both in
Paris and London; I even paid a
year s interest on the diamonds. For
a short time I breathed again, and
was gay and light-hearted. My hus
band would never know that I had
not paid my bills for five years and
had been threatened with a lawsuit.
It was delightful to get rid of this
fear, and I was quite my old self.
I suppose I ought to have felt more
203
THE CASTLECOURT
guilty; but when one is relieved of
a great weight, one s conscience is
not so sensitive as it gets when there
is really nothing to be sensitive
about.
It was after I had grown accus
tomed to feeling free and unworried
that I began to realize what I had
done. I had stolen the diamonds.
I was a thief ! It did not comfort me
much to think that no one might
ever find it out; in fact, I do not
think it comforted me at all, and I
know in the beginning I expected
it would. It was what I had done
that rankled in me. I felt that I
would never be peaceful again till
they were redeemed and put back
in their old settings. That was what
I continually dreamed of. It seemed
to me if I could see them once more
204
DIAMOND CASE
in their own case I would be happy
and care free, as I had been in those
first perfect years of my married
life.
The fear that at this time most
haunted me and was most terrify
ing was that my husband might dis
cover what I had done. His wife,
that he had so loved and trusted, had
become a thief ! No one who has not
gone through it knows how I felt.
I did not know any one could suffer
so. I went out constantly, to try and
forget; and, when things were very
cheerful and amusing, I sometimes
did. And then I remembered I was
a thief; I had stolen my husband s
diamonds, and, if he ever found it
out, what would happen to me?
This was the position I was in
when the false diamonds were taken.
205
THE CASTLECOTJRT
It was the last thing in the world I
had thought could happen. When,
that night of the Duke of Duxbury s
dinner, I saw the empty case and
Jeffers terrified face, the world
reeled around me. I could not for
a moment take it in. Only, in my
mind, the diamonds had become a
sort of nightmare; anything to do
with them was a menace, and I fol
lowed an instinct that had possession
of me when I tried to hide the empty
case from my husband.
Then, when my mind had cleared
and I had time to think, I saw that
if they recovered the paste necklace
they might find out that it was not
real, and all would be lost. It was
a horrible predicament. I really did
not know what I wanted. If the dia
monds were found, and seen to be
206
DIAMOND CASE
false, it would all come out, and Her
bert would know I was a thief.
When I thought of this I tried to
divert the detectives from hunting
for them, and I told that silly, sheep
ish Mr. Brison that I did not see
how he could be so sure they were
stolen, that they might have been
mislaid. Mr. Brison seemed sur
prised, and that made me angry, be
cause, after all, a diamond necklace
is not the sort of thing that gets mis
laid, and I felt I had been foolish
and had not gained anything by be
ing so.
The days passed, and nothing was
heard of the necklace. I wished
desperately now that it would be
found. For how, unless it was, could
I eventually redeem the real dia
monds, and once more feel honest
207
THE CASTLECOUKT
and respectable? If I suddenly ap
peared with them, how could I ex
plain it? Everybody would say I
had stolen them, unless I invented
some story about their being lost
and then found, and I am not clever
at inventing stories. As to where I
should get the money to redeem
them, I often thought of that; but
never could think of any way that
sounded possible and reasonable. I
have always waited for " things to
turn up," and they generally did;
but in this case nothing that I want
ed or expected turned up. Besides,
four thousand pounds is a good deal
of money to come into one s hands
suddenly and unexpectedly. If it
were a smaller sum it might, but
four thousand pounds was too much.
There was nobody to die and leave
208
DIAMOND CASE
it to me, and I certainly could not
steal it, or make it myself.
So, as one may see, I was beset
with troubles on all sides. The sea
son wore itself away, and I was glad
to be done with it. For the first
time, there had been no pleasure in
it. Anxieties that no one guessed
were always with me, and always I
found myself surreptitiously watch
ing my husband to see if he suspect
ed, to see if he showed any symp
toms of growing cold to me and be
ing indifferent. As I drove through
the Park in the carriage these dreary
thoughts were always at my heart,
and it was heavy as lead. I forgot
the passers-by who were so amusing,
and, with my head hanging, looked
into my lap. Suppose Herbert
guessed? Suppose Herbert found
209
THE CASTLBCOURT
out? These were the questions that
went circling through my brain and
never stopped. Sometimes, when
Herbert was beside me, I suddenly
wanted to cry out:
" Herbert, / took the diamonds!
I was the thief! I can t hide it any
more, or live in this uncertainty.
All I want to know is, do you hate
me and are you going to leave me?"
But I never did it. I looked at
Herbert, and was afraid. What
would I do if he left me? Go back
to Ireland and die.
We went to Castlecourt Marsh
Manor in the end of June. By this
time I had begun to feel quite ill.
Herbert insisted on my consulting a
doctor before I left town, and the
doctor said my heart was all wrong
and something was the matter with
210
DIAMOND CASE
my nerves. But it was only the
sense of guilt, that every day grew
more oppressive. I thought I might
feel better in the country. I had
always disliked it, and now it seemed
like a harbor of refuge, where I
could be quiet with my chilrden. I
had grown to hate London. It was
London that had played upon my
weaknesses and drawn me into all
my trouble. I had not run into debt
in the country, and, after all, I had
never been as happy as I was the
two years after our marriage, when
we had lived at Castlecourt Marsh
Manor. Those were my beaux jours!
How bright and beautiful they
seemed now, when I looked back on
them from these dark days of fear
and disgrace!
It was not much better in the
211
THE CASTLECOUKT
country. A change of scene can not
make a difference when the trouble
is a dark secret. And that dark se
cret kept growing darker every day.
I feared to speak of the diamonds to
Herbert, and yet every letter that
came for him filled me with alarm,
lest it was either to say that they
were found or that they were not
found. Herbert went up to London
at intervals and saw Mr. Gilsey, and
at night when he came home I trem
bled so that I found it difficult to
stand till he had told me all that Mr.
Gilsey had said. Once when he was
beginning to tell me that Mr. Gilsey
had some idea they had traced the
diamonds to Paris I fainted, and it
was some time before they could
bring me back.
July was very hot, and I gave
212
DIAMOND CASE
that as the cause of my changed ap
pearance and listless manner. I was
really in wretched health, and Her
bert became exceedingly worried
about me. He suggested that we
should go on the Continent for a
trip, but I shrank from the thought
of it. I felt as if the sight of Paris,
where the diamonds were waiting to
be redeemed, would kill me outright.
I did not want to leave Castlecourt
Marsh Manor to go anywhere. I
only wanted to be happy again to
be the way I was before I had taken
the diamonds.
And I knew now that this could
never be till I told my husband. I
knew that to win back my peace of
mind I had to confess all, and hear
him say he forgave me. I tried to
several times, but it was impossible.
213
THE CASTLECOTTRT
As the moment that I had chosen for
confession approached, my heart beat
so that I could scarcely breathe, and
I trembled like a person in a chill.
With Herbert looking at me so kind
ly, so tenderly, the words died away
on my lips, or I said something quite
different to what I had intended say
ing. It was useless. As the days
went by I knew that I would never
dare tell, that for the rest of my
life I would be crushed under the
sense of guilt that seemed too heavy
to be borne.
It was late one afternoon in the
middle of July that the crash came.
Never, never shall I forget that day !
So dark and awful at first, and
then But I must follow the story
just as it happened.
Herbert and I had had tea in the
214
DIAMOND CASE
library. It was warm weather, and
the windows that led to the terrace
were wide open. Through them I
could see the beautiful landscape
rolling hills with great trees dotted
over them, all the colors brighter and
deeper than at midday, for the sun
was getting low. I was sitting by
one of the windows looking out on
this, and thinking how different had
been my feelings when I had come
here as a bride and loved it all, and
been so full of joy. My hands hung
limp over the arms of the chair. I
had no desire to move or speak. It
is so agonizing, when you are miser
able, looking back on days that were
happy!
As I was sitting this way, Thomas,
one of the footmen, came in with the
letters. I noticed that he had quite
215
THE CASTLECOURT
a packet of them. Some were mine,
and I laid them on the table at my
elbow. Idly and without interest I
saw that in Herbert s bunch there
was a small box, such as jewelery is
sent about in. Thomas left the room,
and I continued looking out of the
window until I suddenly heard Her
bert give a suppressed exclamation.
I turned toward him, and saw that
he had the open box in his hand.
"What does this mean?" he said.
"What an extraordinary thing!
Look here, Gladys."
And he came toward me, holding
out the box. It was full of cotton
wool, and lying on this were a great
quantity of unset diamonds of differ
ent sizes. My heart gave a leap into
my throat. I sat up, clutching the
arms of the chair.
216
DIAMOND CASE
"What are they?" I said, hearing
my voice suddenly high and loud.
"Where did they come from?"
"I don t know anything about
them! It s too odd! See what s
written on this piece of paper that
was inside the box."
He held out a small piece of paper,
on which the creases of several folds
were plainly marked. Across it, in
typing, ran two sentences. I snatch
ed the paper and read the words:
We don t want your diamonds. You can
keep them, and with them accept our kind
regards.
The paper fluttered to my feet.
I knew in a moment what it all
meant. The thieves had discovered
that the diamonds were paste, and
had returned them. I was conscious
217
THE CASTLECOURT
of Herbert s startled face suddenly
charged with an expression of sharp
anxiety as he cried:
" Why, Gladys, what is it ? You re
as white as death!"
He came toward me, but I mo
tioned him away and rose to my
feet. I knew then that the hour had
come, and tho I suspect I was very
white, I did not feel so frightened
as I had done in the past.
" Those are your diamonds, Her
bert," I said, quietly and distinctly,
"or, perhaps, I ought to say those
are the substitutes for them. Your
diamonds are in Paris, at Barriere s,
au quatreme, on the Rue Croix des
Petits Champs."
"Gladys!" he exclaimed, "what
do you mean? What are you talk
ing about? You look so white and
218
DIAMOND CASE
strange ! Sit down, darling, and tell
me what you mean."
"Oh, Herbert," I cried, with my
voice suddenly full of agony, "let
me tell you! Don t stop me. If
you re angry with me and hate me,
wait till I ve finished before you say
so. I ve got to confess it all. I ve
got to, dear. You must listen to me,
and not frighten me till I have done ;
for if I don t tell you now, I shall
certainly die."
And then I told I told it all. I
didn t leave out a single thing. My
first bills, and Bolkonsky, and the
jeweler, and the pawnbroking place,
and everything was in it. Once I
was started, it was not so hard, and
I poured it out. I didn t try to
make it better, or ask to be forgiven.
219
THE CASTLECOURT
But when it was all finished, I said,
in a voice that I could hear was
suddenly husky and trembling:
"And now I suppose you 11 not
like me any more. It s quite natural
that you shouldn t. I only ask one
thing, and I know, of course, I have
no right to ask it that is, that you
won t send me away from you. I
have been very wicked. I suppose
I ought to be put in prison. But,
oh, Herbert, no matter what I ve
been, I ve loved you! That s some
thing."
I could not go any further, and
there was no need ; for my dear hus
band did not seem angry at all. He
took me, all weeping and trembling,
into his arms, and said the sweetest
things to me the sort of things
220
DIAMOND CASE
one doesn t write down with a pen
just between him and me.
And I? I turned my face into
his shoulder and cried feebly. No
one knows how happy I felt except
a person who has been completely
miserable and suddenly finds her
misery ended. It is really worth be
ing miserable to thoroughly appre
ciate the joy of being happy again.
Well, that is really the end of the
statement. Herbert went to Paris
a few days later and redeemed the
diamonds, and they are now being
set in imitation of the old settings,
which are lost. I would not go to
Paris with him. Nor will I go to
London next season. Both places
are too full of horrible memories.
Perhaps some day I shall feel about
221
THE CASTLECOURT
them as I did before the diamonds
were taken, but now I do not want
to leave the country at all. Besides,
we can economize here, and the four
thousand pounds necessary to get
back the stones was a good deal
for Herbert to have to pay out
just now. And then it is so sweet
and peaceful in the country. Noth
ing troubles one. Oh, how delightful
a thing it is to have an easy con
science! One does not know how
good it is till one has lost it.
This finishes my statement. I
dare say it is a very bad one, for I
am not clever at all. But it has the
one merit of being entirely truthful,
and I have told everything just
how wicked I was, and just why I
was so wicked. Nothing has been
222
DIAMOND CASE
held back, and nothing has been set
down falsely. It is an unprejudiced
and accurate account of my share
in the Castlecourt diamond case.
223
IB 322C8
Renewals and red 1 9 r-rr^^TScinW
v-,p tTiuu^
"
IB 322C8
M13741