which may beset them.
BESULTS OP GOOD-BBEEDING IN" THB HOME CIBCLE.
The laws of good-breeding in no place bear more grati-
fying results than in the home circle. Here, tempered
with love, and nurtured by all kindly impulses, they
bear the choicest fruit. A true lady will show as much
courtesy, and observe the duties of politeness a^ unfail-
ingly, 'toward every member of her family as toward
228 HOME CULTUKE.
her most distinguished guest. A true gentleman will
feel bound to exercise courtesy and kindness in his inter-
course with those who depend upon him for protection
and example. Children influenced by such examples at
home, will never fail to show to their elders the respect
due them, to their young companions the same consider-
ation for their feelings which they expect to meet with
in return, nor to servants that patience which even the
best too often require. In such a home peace and good
will are the household gods.
FAULT-FINDING AND GRUMBLING.
The oil of civility is required to make the wheels of
domestic life run smoothly. The habit of fault-finding
and grumbling indulged in by some, is an exceedingly
vexatious one, and will, in time, ruffle the calmest spirit
and the sweetest temper. It is the little annoyances,
perplexities and misfortunes which often render life a
burden; the little omission of minor duties and the com-
mitting of little faults that perpetually scourge us and
keep the heart sore. Constant fault-finding, persistent
misrepresentations of motives, suspicions of evil where
no evil was intended, will complete the work in all but
the finest and most heroic natur.es, They alone can
stand the fiery test, coming out purer and stronger for
the ordeal. Children who habitually obey the com-
mandment, " Be kind to one another,*' will find in mature
life, how strong the bonds of affection may be that bind
the members of the household together.
HOME CULTUBE. 229
FAMILY JARS NOT TO BE MADE PUBLIC.
Whatever may be the family disagreements, they
should never be made known outside of the home circle,
if it can be avoided. Those who expose the faults of
the members of their family are severely judged by
the world, and no provocation can be a good excuse for
it. It is exceedingly vulgar, not to say unchristianlike,
for the members of the same family to be at enmity
with one another.
YIELDING TO ONE ANOTHER.
One of the greatest disciplines of human life, is that
which teaches us to yield our wills to those who have a
claim upon us to do so, even in trifling, every-day affairs;
the wife to the husband, children to parents, to teachers
and to one another. In cases where principle is con-
cerned, it is, of course, necessary to be firm, which
requires an exercise of moral courage.
CONFLICTING INTERESTS.
Conflicting interests are a fruitful source of family
difficulties. The command of Christ to the two broth-
ers who came to Him with their disputes, "Beware of
covetousness," is as applicable among members of the
same family now, as it was when those words were
spoken. It is better that you have few or no business
transactions with any one who is near and dear to you,
and connected by family ties, In business relations
230 HOME CULTURE.
men are apt to be very exact, because of their habits of
business, and this exactness is too often construed by
near friends and relatives as actuated by purely selfish
motives. Upon this rock many a bark of family love
has been wrecked.
RELIGIOUS EDUCATION.
It is well to remember that every blessing of our
lives, every joy of our hearts and every ray of hope
shed upon our pathway, have had their origin in reli-
gion, and may be traced in all their hallowed, healthful
influences to the Bible. With the dawn of childhood,,
then, in the earliest days of intelligence, should the mind
be impressed and stored with religious truth, and noth-
ing should be allowed to exclude or efface it. It should
be taught so early that the mind will never remember
when it began to learn; it will then have the character
of innate, inbred principles, incorporated with their
very being.
OBEDIENCE.
If you would not have all your instructions and coun-
sels ineffectual, teach your children to obey. Govern-
ment in a family is the great safeguard of religion
and morals, the support of order and the source of pros-
perity. Nothing has a greater tendency to bring a curse
upon a family than the insubordination and disobe-
dience of children, and there is no more painful and
disgusting sight than an ungoverned child.
HOME CULTURE. 231
INFLUENCE OF EXAMPLE.
Never forget that the first book children read is their
parents' example their daily deportment. If this is
forgotten you may find, in the loss of your domestic
peace, that while your children well know the right
path, they follow the wrong.
Childhood is like a mirror, catching and reflecting
images all around it. Remember that an impious, pro-
fane or vulgar thought may operate upon the heart of a
young child like a careless spray of water upon polished
steel, staining it with rust that no efforts can thoroughly
efface.
Improve the first ten years of life as the golden op-
portunity, which may never return. It is the seed time,
and your harvest depends upon the seed then sown.
THE INFLUENCE OF BOOKS.
Few mothers can over-estimate the influence which
the companionship of books exerts in youth upon the
habits and tastes of their children, and no mother who
has the welfare of her children at heart will neglect the
important work of choosing the proper books for them
to read, while they are under her care. She should
select for them such as will both interest and instruct,
and this should be done during the early years, before
their minds shall have imbibed the pernicious teachings
of bad books and sensational novels. The poison im-
bibed from bad books works so secretly that their influ-
ence for evil is even greater than the influence of bad
232
HOME CULTUKK.
associates. The mother has it in her power to make
such books the companions and friends of her children
as her good judgment may select, and to impress upon
them their truths, by conversing with them about the
moral lessons or the intellectual instructions they con-
tain. A taste may be easily cultivated for books on
natural science and for history, as well as for those that
teach important and wholesome lessons for the young,
such as are contained in the works of Mrs. Edgeworth,
Mrs Child, Mrs. Yonge, and many other books written
for the young.
CHAPTER XXI.
Roman's
has been seen that in the rearing and
training of her children, woman has
a great work to perform; that in this
work she exerts an incalculable influ-
ence upon untold numbers, and that
she molds the minds and characters
of her sons and daughters. How-
important, then, that she should cultivate
her mental faculties to the highest extent,
if for no other reason than to fit herself
the better for the performance of this
great duty of educating her children. How
important it is, also, that she should look to
the higher education of her daughters, who,
in turn, will become mothers of future generations, or
may, perhaps, by some vicissitude of fortune, become
dependent upon their own resources for support. With
the highest culture of the mental faculties, woman will
be best enabled to faithfully perform whatever she may
undertake.
(2831
234 WOMAN'S HIGHER EDUCATION.
TRAIN YOUNG WOMEN TO SOME OCCUPATION.
Owing to the changes in social and industrial life
which have crowded many women from their homes into
business and public life, women must train for their
branch of labor as men train for their work, if they wish
to attain any degree of success. Even where women
have independent fortunes, their lives will be all the
happier if they have been trained to some occupation,
that, in case of reverses, may be made a self-sustaining
one. A young woman who is able to support herself,
increases her chances for a happy marriage, for, not
being obliged to rely upon a husband for support or for
a home, she is able to judge calmly of an offer when it
comes, and is free to accept or decline, because of her
independence. Women are capable of and adapted to
a large number of employments, which have hitherto
been kept from them, and some of these they are slowly
wrenching from the hands of the sterner sex. In order
that women may enter the ranks of labor which she
is forcing open to herself, she needs a special education
and training to fit her for such employment.
EDUCATION OP GIRLS TOO SUPERFICIAL.
The school instruction of our girls is too superficial.
There is a smattering of too many branches, where two
or three systematically studied and thoroughly mastered,
would accomplish much more for them in the way of a
sound mental training, which is the real object of educa-
tion. The present method of educating young girls is
WOMAN'S HIGHER EDUCATION. 235'
to give them from five {o ten studies, in which they pre-
pare lessons, and this, too, at an age when their physical!
development suffers and is checked by excess of mental
labor. Such a course of instruction, bestowing only a
smattering of many branches, wastes the powers of the
mind, and deters, rather than aids, self-improvement.
It is only a concentration of the mind upon the thorough
acquisition of all it undertakes that strengthens the
reflective, and forms the reasoning, faculties, and thus
helps to lay a solid foundation for future usefulness.
The word education means to educe, to draw out the-
powers of the mind; not the cramming into it of facts,,
dates and whole pages to be repeated verbatim.
AN EDUCATION APPROPRIATE TO EACH SEX.
The fact is becoming more palpable every year that
there is an education appropriate to each sex; that iden-
tical education for the two sexes is so unnatnral, that
physiology protests against it and experience weeps over
it. The physiological motto in education is, " Educate
a man for manhood, a woman for womanhood, and both
for humanity." Herbert Spencer, in speaking of the
want of a proper course of education for girls, says:
" It is an astonishing fact that, though on the treatment
of offspring depend their lives or deaths, and their
moral welfare or ruin, yet not one word of instruction
on treatment of offspring is ever given to those who
will, by and by, be parents." It will thus be seen, that
as women have the care, the training and the education
of children, they need an education in a special direc-
236 WOMAN'S HIGHER EDUCATION.
tion, and should have a very thorough one, to prepare
them for the task.
WOMEN SHOULD HAVE A KNOWLEDGE OP THE LAWS OP
HEALTH.
Physiology is one of the branches of that higher edu-
cation, which should be thoroughly pursued by women
to enable them to fulfill the various duties of their
allotted stations. Yet it is also desirable that they
should have a thorough knowledge, of all branches that
they undertake, and a mastery of the studies pursued
by them; for the want of thoroughness in woman's edu-
cation is an obstacle to success in all branches of labor.
But woman should especially have a thorough knowledge
of the laws of physiology and hygiene. If she becomes a
mother, such knowledge will enable her to guard better
the lives and health of her children. She will under-
stand that when she sends out her child insufficiently
clad, and he comes home chilled through, that his vital-
ity, his power of resisting disease, is wasted. She will
know that by taking the necessary precautions, she may
save the child's life; that she must not take him thus
chilled, to the fire or into a room highly heated, but
that by gentle exercise or friction, she must restore the
circulation of the blood, and in using such precautions,
she may ward off the attacks of disease that would surely
follow if they were neglected. This is but a single case,
for there are instances of almost daily occurrence when
.a proper knowledge of the laws of health will ward off
disease, in her own case, as well as in those of various
WOMAN'S HIGHER EDUCATION. 237
members of her household. The diseases which carry
off children, are for the most part, such as ought to be
under the control of the women who love them, pet
them, educate them, and who would, in many cases, lay
down their lives for them.
RESULT OF IGNORANCE OF SANITARY LAWS.
Ignorance of the laws of ventilation in sleeping-rooms
and school-rooms is the cause of a vast amount of dis-
ease. From ignorance of the signs of approaching
disease, children are often punished for idleness, listless-
ness, sulkiness and wilfulness, and this punishment is
too often by confinement in a closed room, and by an
increase of tasks; when what is really needed is more
oxygen, more open-air exercise, and less study. These
forms of ignorance have too often resulted in malignant
typhus and brain fevers. Knowledge of the laws of
hygiene will often spare the waste of health and
strength in the young, and will also spare anxiety and
misery to those who love and tend them. If the time
devoted to the many trashy so-called "accomplishments "
in a young lady's education, were given to a study of
the laws of preserving health, how many precious lives
might be spared to loving parents, and how many frail
and delicate forms, resulting from inattention to physi-
cal training, might have become strong and beautiful
temples of exalted souls. We are all in duty bound to
know and to obey the laws of nature, on which the wel-
fare of our bodies depends, for the full enjoyment of
'238 WOMAN'S HIGHER EDUCATION.
our faculties can only be attained when the body is in
iperfect health.
IDLENESS A SOURCE OP MISERY.
Perhaps the greatest cause of misery and wretchedness
in social life is idleness. The want of something to do
is what makes people wicked and miserable. It breeds
selfishness, mischief -making, envy, jealousy and vice, in
.all its most dreadful forms. It is the duty of mothers
to see >that their daughters are trained to habits of
industry, that their minds are at all times occupied, that
they are well informed as to household duties, and to
the duties of married life, for upon a knowledge of
household details may depend their life-long happiness
or misery. It is frequently the case, that a girl's educa-
tion ends just as her mind is beginning to mature and
her faculties are beginning to develop. Her education
ends when it ought properly to begin. She enters upon
marriage entirely unprepared, and, perchance, by some
misfortune, she is thrown penniless upon the world with
no means of obtaining a livelihood, for her education
has never fitted her for any vocation. Not having been
properly taught herself, she is not able to teach, and
she finds no avenue of employment open to her. An
English clergyman, writing upon this subject, says:
" Let girls take a serious interest in art; let them take
up some congenial study, let it be a branch of science
or history. Let them write. They can do almost any-
thing they try to do, but let their mothers never rest
iuntil they have implanted in their daughters' lives one
WOMAN'S HIGHER EDUCATION. 239
growing interest beyond flirtation and gossip, whether
it be work at the easel, music, literature, the structure
of the human body and the laws of health, any solid
interest that will occupy their thoughts and their hearts.
Idleness, frivolity and ignorance can only be put down
by education and employment. In the last resort, the
spirit of evil becomes teacher and task-master."
WOMEN SHOULD CULTIVATE A SPIRIT OF INDEPENDENCE.
In this country more than any other, women should,
to some extent, cultivate a spirit of independence.
They should acquire a knowledge of how business is
transacted, of the relation between capital and labor,
and of the value of labor, skilled and unskilled. As
housekeepers, they would then be saved from many
annoyances and mistakes. If they chance to be left
alone, widows, or orphans possessing means, they would
be saved from many losses and vexatious experiences by
knowing how to transact their own business. And those
women who are obliged to take care of themselves, who
have no means, how necessary is it that they should
have a thorough knowledge of some occupation or busi-
ness by which they can maintain themselves and others
dependent upon them. In this country, the daughter
brought up in affluence, may, by some rapid change of
fortune, be obliged, upon arriving at maturity, to be
among the applicants for whatever employment she may
be fitted. If she has been trained to some useful occu-
pation, or if her faculties have been developed by a
thoroughness of study of any sub]ect she has undertaken,
240 WOMAN'S HIGHER EDUCATION.
she will be better qualified to prepare herself to fill any
position which may be open to her. With a mind,
drilled by constant study she will the more quickly ac-
quire a knowledge aud grasp the details of any subject
or business to which she may devote herself.
HEALTH AND LIFE DEPENDENT UPON A HIGHER CULTURE.
Not only wealth and comfort, but health and life are
dependent upon a higher form of culture, a more thor-
ough course of education than is now the standard.
Not more, but fewer branches of study and a more
thorough comprehension of those pursued. Not only
are the health and life of each woman dependent upon
the kind and degree of the education she receives, but
the health and lives of great numbers may depend upon
it. In proportion as she has a knowledge of the laws
and nature of a subject will she be able to work at it
easily, rapidly and successfully. Knowledge of physi-
cal laws saves health and life, knowledge of the laws of
intellect saves wear and tear of the brain, knowledge of
the laws of political economy and business affairs saves-
anxiety and worrying.
CULTIVATION OF THE MORAL SENSE.
A well educated moral sense prevents idleness and
develops a well regulated character, which will preserve
from excess those tenderer emotions and deeper passions-
of woman, which are potent in her for evil or for good,
in proportion as they are undisciplined and allowed to>
WOMAN'S HIGHER EDUCATION. 241
ran wild, or are trained and developed into a noble and
harmonious self-restraint.
The girl who has so educated and regulated her intel-
lect, her tastes, her emotions and her moral sense, as to
be able to discern the true from the false, will be ready
for the faithful performance of whatever work in life is
allotted to her; while she who is allowed to grow up
ignorant, idle, vain, frivolous, will find herself fitted for
no state of existence, and, in after years, with feelings
of remorse and despair over a wasted life, may cast
reproach upon those in whose trust was reposed her
early education.
It is not for women alone that they should seek a
higher education of their faculties and powers but for
the sake of the communities in which they live, for the
sake of the homes in which they rule and govern, and
govern immortal souls, and for the sake of those other
homes in the humbler walks of life, where they owe
duties as ministering spirits as well as in their own, for
in proportion as they minister to the comfort and health
-of others, so do they exalt their own souls. Women
should seek a higher education in order that they may
elevate themselves, and that they may prepare them-
selves for whatever duty they may be called upon to
perform. In social life we find that the truest wives,
the most patient and careful mothers, the most exem-
plary house-keepers, the model sisters, the wisest philan-
thropists and the women of the greatest social influence
are women of cultivated minds.
CHAPTER XXII.
3^rt 0f Setter letting.
FREXCH writer says, that the
writing a note or letter, the word-
ing of a regret, the prompt or the
delayed answering of an invitation,
the manner of a salutation, the
neglect of a required attention, all
betray to the well-bred the degree
or the absence of good-breeding.
A person who has self-respect as well
as respect for others, should never care-
lessly write a letter or note.
nffH1 l FB*fl JI> *" fOft COKKKCT WKJ.Ti.sG.
The letter or note should be free from all
flourishes. The rules of punctuation should
be followed as nearly as possible, and no capital letter*
wed where they are not required. Ink-biota, eraauie
and stains on the paper are inadmissible. Any abbrevi-
ations of name, rank or title are considered rude, beyond
those sanctioned by eastom. Xo abbreviations of words
Aoald be indulged in, nor underlining of words intended
to be made emphatic. All amounts of money or other
THE AKT OF LETTER WRITING. 24:3
numbers should be written, reserving the use of numer-
ical figures for dates only. It is a good form to have
the address of the writer printed at the top of the sheet>
especially for all business letters. For letters of friend-
ship and notes, pure white paper and envelopes are in
better taste than tinted or colored, and the paper should
be of a superior quality. When a page is once written
from left to right side, it should not be written over
again from top to bottom.
ANONYMOUS LETTERS,
No attention should ever be paid to anonymous let-
ters. The writers of such stamp themselves as cow-
ardly, and cowards do not hesitate to say or write what
is not true when it suits their purpose. All state-
ments made in such letters should be regarded as false,
and the writers as actuated by some bad motives. An-
onymous letters should be burned at once, for they r
not to be noticed.
LETTERS AND NOTKS.
The writing of notes in the third person is generally
confined to notes of invitation, and such notes are never
signed.
When a letter is upon business, commencing "Sir" or
"Dear Sir," the name of the person addressed may be
written either at the beginning or at the close of the
\etter, in the left hand corner. In letters commencing
with the name of the person to whom you are writing,
244 THE ART OF LETTER WRITING.
as, "My Dear Mrs. Brown," the name should not be
repeated in the left hand corner.
No notes should be commenced very high or very low
ion the page, but nearer the top than the middle of the
sheet.
MANNER OF ADDRESS.
In addressing a clergyman, it is customary to com-
mence "Reverend Sir," or "Dear Sir." It is not now
customary to write "B. A." or "M. A." after his name.
Doctors of divinity and medicine are thus distin-
guished: "To the Rev. John Blair, D. D.," or "Rev.
Dr. Blair;" "To G. T. Roscoe, M. D.," "Doctor Ros-
coe" or "Dr. Roscoe."
The President of the United States and Governors of
States, are addressed "His Excllency." U. S. Senators,
members of Congress and men distinguished by holding
various political offices of an honorable nature, are
addressed as " Honorable."
The superscription or address should be written upon
the envelope as legibly as possible, beginning a little to
the left of the center of the envelope. The number of
the house and name of the street may be written imme-
diately under this line, or in the lower left hand corner,
as the writer sees fit. The postage stamp should be
securely fixed in the upper right hand corner of the
envelope. The following forms will show the appear-
ance of a properly addressed envelope:
THE ART OF LETTER WRITING. 245
796
246
THE ART OF LETTER WRUTNO..
v^W-W^
J STAMP. *
( .
In sending a letter in care of another person the fol-
lowing form is the manner in which the envelope should
be addressed:
3C.
In sending a letter by a friend or acquaintance, and
not through the mail, acknowledge the courtesy of your
friend on the envelope. The letter should not be sealed.
The following is the proper form :
THE AET OF LETTER WRITING.
247
734
A note or letter sent to a friend residing in the same
place, by a messenger, may be addressed as follows, or
bear the full address:
t
248 THB ART OF LETTER WRITING.
FORM OF A LETTER.
cJ? wecewtecl M
w aoact fate*, andAa&ten fo
aiLewoued at t/ie /wa&fiecfo o^ a,
"ffttu a/ t/ie Qfacwfo. " and
tf '
mew- utitfisU&u and mu man
^% av-e
&
THE ART OF LETTER WRITING. 249>
DEGREES OF FORMALITY OBSERVED.
In commencing and signing notes and letters there is
a difference of opinion in the degrees of formality to
be observed, but generally this scale is used according
to the degree of acquaintance or friendship. " Madam ' r
or "Sir," "Dear Madam" or "Dear Sir," "My Dear
Madam" or "My Dear Sir," "Dear Mrs. Brown" or