Lilian Bell.

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Copyright N^

COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT.



L i' ^^



the LILIAN BELL
BIRTHDAY BOOK




Copyright, 11)00, by Oliver Dennett Grover.



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The
LILIAN BELL

BIRTHDAY BOOK



EDITED BY

A. H . B O G U E




BOSTON

L. C PAGE & COMPANY

M D C C C C I I I



TMf LlSRAi^Y OF

0ON^>RESS,
"■"•) Copits Recsived

SEP, !6 1902

POPVUIOHT ENTRY



>^



uks (2/XXa No-






3 43i-5'



Copyright, 1893, 1895, 1896, 1897, 1898, 1900, igoi, by
Harper & Brothers

Copyright, 1895, by
Stone & Kimball

Copyright, 1902, by
L. C. Page & Company (Incorporated)

A II rights reserved



Published, September, 1902



GEO. H. ELLIS CO., PRINTERS, BOSTON, MASS.



S)e&icate&



MARY HARTWELL CATHERWOOD

THE BRILLIANT WOMAN WHO MOST GENEROUSLY ADMIRES
ANOTHER WOMAN'S WIT



FOREWORD

// is the custom of taste and Christianity and civili-
zation to wait until hearts have ceased to feel and
ears to hear before we pour forth our tributes to the
excellencies of our loved and great.

In direct defiance of the possible criticism of these
oracles I have gathered together the epigrams of one
living author^ and have dedicated the book to another
living author^ that both may see and feel and, I hope^
enjoy.



The LILIAN BELL
BIRTHDAY BOOK



JANUARY

January T~XO you suppose bccausc I know
JL^ Greek that I cannot be in love ?
Do you suppose because I went through higher
mathematics that I never pressed a flower he gave
me ? Do you imagine that Biology kills blushing
in a woman ? — The Love Affairs of an Old Maid.



January QjHE was almost bcautiful ; and there
kJ was a Sabbath calm in her presence
which led one's thoughts, perhaps not quite to re-
ligion, but at least as far as ethics. — A Woman of
No Nerves^ from The Instinct of Stepfatherhood.



January ^^TREN an American man is 3.
VV gentleman, he is to my mind the
most perfect gentleman that any race can produce,
because his good manners spring from his heart,
and there are a few of us old-fashioned enough to
plead that politeness should go deeper than the
skin. — From a Girl's Point of View.



JANUARY



January

1



January

2



January
3



riie LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January TV /TEN ncvcr realize the height of
■* i. ▼ A the pedestal where women in love

place them, nor do they know with how many
perfections they are invested, nor how religiously
women keep themselves deceived on the subject.
They cannot comprehend the succession of little
shocks which are caused by the real man coming
in contact with the ideal. And, if they did under-
stand, they would think that such mere trifles
should not aflFect the genuine article of love, and
that women simply should overlook foibles, and go
on loving the damaged article just as blindly as
before. But what man could view his favorite
marble tumbling from its pedestal continually, and
losing first a finger, then an arm, then a nose, and
would go on setting it up each time, admiring and
reverencing in the mutilated remains the perfect
creation which first enraptured him ? He wouldn't
take the trouble to fill up the nicks and glue on
the lost fingers as women do to their idols. He
wouldn't even try to love it as he used to do.
When it began to look too battered up, he would
say, " Here, put this thing in the cellar, and let's
get it out of the way." — The Love Affairs of an Old
Maid.



The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January

4



rhe LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January -wj" (ys^ '^^ ^^ world are you going to
^ J. A find out whether you like a man

unless you do encourage him ? You never even
begin to know him until he falls in love with you !
From a GirVs Point of View.



January "T JT THEN I talk with a clever man, I
V V feel a little tingling in my brain,
as if my ideas were being called for by one who
deserved them, and as if they were waking out of
the sleep into which they had been lulled by the
conversation of other men. — A Study in Hearts^ from
The Instinct of Stepfatherhood.



January XTQU might cram a woman's head
^ X with all the wisdom of the ages, and,

while it would frighten every man who came near
her into hysterics, it wouldn't keep her from going
down abjectly before some man who had sense
enough to know that higher education does not rob
a woman of her womanliness. Depend upon it,
when it does, she would have been unwomanly and
masculine if she hadn't been able to read. — The
Love Affairs of an Old Maid.



rhe LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January

5



January
6



January

7



rhe LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January "TTTE Americans always talk the
V V most about what we care the
least. That's why we talk about money, and honor
love. You French talk about love, and honor
money ! " — The Expatriates.



January ^^^ THEN an attractive American girl
V V is bored, it generally means that
she is not in love with any one. It never means
that no one is in love with her. That unfortunate
state of things would cause her to be discontented,
not bored. Besides, there always is jowd-body in
love with the attractive American girl. — A Study in
Hearts y from The Instinct of St epf at her hood.



January y WOULD like to be a man for a

X while, in order to make love to two
or three women. I would do it in a way which
would not shock them with its coarseness or starve
them with its poverty. As it is now, most women
deny themselves the expression of the best part of
their love, because they know it will be either a
puzzle or a terror to their lovers. — The Love Affairs
of an Old Maid.



r h e LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



8



January



January
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The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January T p a girl has one lover, she is called " a
X sweet creature" by other girls. If
she has two or three, she is respectfully alluded to as
" fascinating." If she is unhappy enough to have
won half a dozen, with more on the ragged edge,
she is stigmatized as "a coquette." — A Study in
Hearts, from The Instinct of Stepfather hood.



jantiary y BELIEVE some men could go
X through life without loving anybody
on earth. But the woman never lived who could
do it. A woman must love something, — even if
she hasn't anything better to love than a pug-dog
or herself — The Love Affairs of an Old Maid.



January " ripROUBLE between husbun an'
A wife is dey own bizness, and no-
body else has got a right to say whedder or no.
Dat's what / sez ; an' I knows, I does ! I ain't been
mah'd as many times as Isrul, but I'se had enough
trouble wid de one husbun I hab had to make up
foh it ! I has foh a fack ! " — Lizzie Lee's Separa-
tion, from The Instinct of Stepfatherhood.



The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January
11



Jantiarsr
12



January
13



The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK

January ^ ■ AHE man undcf thirty-five is being
*^ A trained in a thousand ways every

day that he Hves. Some learn more quickly than
others. It depends on the type of man and on the
length of time he is willing to remain in the raw.
'The Untrained Man under Thirty-five^ from a Girl's
Point of View.

January T T"ER inner nature was like a combi-
*^ JL X nation of unmined metals. One

could trace copper and gold and a little alloy. But
the great emotion or heart experience which would
separate the metals, releasing the gold and destroy-
ing the alloy, had not come to her. — Miss Scar-
borough's Point of VieWy from Sir John and the
American Girl.

January A ■ ^HERE is Something which makes
^ JL you hold your breath before you

enter the inner nature of some one who has ex-
traordinary depth. You feel as if you were going to
find something different and interesting, and possi-
bly difficult or explosive. It is dark, too, yet you
feel impelled to enter. It is like going into a cave.
The Love Affairs of an Old Maid.



The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January

14



January

15



January
lO



The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



januarsr y IKE most men who live in the open
*' i J air, he had ideals, and high ones,

of women. — The Expatriates.



January ^^~V H, have you ever entertained people
V^ who made you worry so for fear
you couldn't suit them that you just wanted to lie
down and die beforehand ? — With Mamma Away^
from Sir John and the American Girl.



January OOME persons Seem to possess an
\Zj atmospheric mental quality. There
are those who seem gray and leaden, as if it might
rain at any moment. There are others whose cold
crispness means a sharp wintry nature, which stings
like the sudden warming of frost-bitten hands.
There are others whose gentle melancholy and
tender pessimism mean nothing short of autumn
temperaments, where summer is gone forever and
nothing but approaching snow can tinge their
thoughts.

Then in a class quite by themselves come those
eager natures which remind you of the approach
of spring. — The Expatriates.



M



The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January

17



January-
is



January
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The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January rT^HERE IS no finer generosity than
A to receive generously, with the same
largeness with which one gives. — A Little Sister to
the Wilderness.



January «« j THINK whcn a horse hears him-
A self recommended to anxious par-
ents as safe, steady, and gentle as a kitten, when he
himself knows that h-e shies at bicycles, that it is
his equine duty to show the whites of his eyes, to
signify * danger ahead,' even if It spoils a trade." —
Miss Scarborough' s Point of VieWy from Sir John
and the American Girl.



January XT THY is it that all the cleverest men
V Y we know have selected girls who
looked pretty and who coddled them ? Look at
Bronson and Flossy ! That man is lonesome, I
tell you, Ruth. He actually hungers and thirsts
for his intellectual and spiritual affinity, and yet
even he did not have the sense, the astuteness, to
select a wife who would have stood at his side, in-
stead of one who lay in a wad at his feet. — The
Love Affairs of an Old Maid.



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The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



Januarsr
20



Jantiary^
21



January
22



The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK

januarsr TF I See a fine painting or hear mag-
X nificent music, I think of Rachel be-
fore any other thought comes into my mind. One
involuntarily associates her with anything wonder-
fully fine in art or literature, with the perfect assur-
ance that she will be sympathetic and appreciative.
She understands the deep, inarticulate emotions in
the kindred way you have a right to expect of your
lover, and which you are oftenest disappointed in,
if you expect it of him. If I were a man, I should
be in love with Rachel. — The Love Affairs of an
Old Maid.



January TT O W can those girls who give evi-
^ J. JL dence of no more thought than is

evinced by their namby-pamby chatter call their
existence living ? They mistake pertness for wit,
audacity for cleverness, disrespect to old age for in-
dependence, and general bad manners for individu-
ahty. Has nobody ever trained these girls to
think? What kind of schools do they attend?
Who has spoiled them by flattery, until they are
little peacocks to whom a mirror is an irresistible
temptation ? — Girls and Other Girlsy from From a
Girl's Point of View.



The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January
23



January

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The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK

jantiarx « O^HE's got dc sin ob avariciousness,
•^ \<3 if anybody ever had. De Lawd

knows what she's saving huh money for — I don't.
She don' buy no clo'es, she don' go to de picnics,
she don' go to corn-roasts nor barbecues, nor even
to de babtizin's for fear dey'll take up a collection.
She don' allow herself no pleasure 'tall, she's so
skeert she'll spend a nickel ; an', when my second
husband was hung, do you know dat woman
wouldn't leab off half a day's ironin' to go to de
hangin' ! " — Yessum^from The Instinct of Stepfather-
hood.

if

January A | ^HE newspapcrs have ridiculed the
JL new woman to such an extent, and
their ridicule is so popular, that it requires an act
of physical courage to stand up in her defence and
to tell the public that the bloomer girl is not new ;
that they have had the newspaper creation — like
the poor — with them always; that they have
passed over the real new woman without a second
glance. In other words, to assure them as delicately
as possible that they have been barking up the wrong
tree. — The New Woman^ from From a Girl's Point
of View.



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the LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January

25



Jantiarx
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rhe LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January JAM tired to death of hearing men fall
X back on nonsense about their honor.
I notice they seldom feel called upon to refer to it
unless they are involved in something disreputable.
'The Love Affairs of an Old Maid.



January A SMALL town ! Is anything more
Xjl maddening than to go ambling
peacefully along in life, smiling at the world, and
harming nobody, and suddenly to dash your head
against the stone wall of provincial virtue, and lie
on your back for a while, seeing red and green stars?
I really think there is an element of viciousness in
the virtue of a small town which is worse than loose-
slippered liberality. — The Under Side of Things.



January ^TT^HERE are some women who pre-
A fer a valet to a husband ; who think
that the more menial are his services in public, the
more apparent is his devotion. It is a Roman-
chariot-wheel idea, which degrades both the man
and the woman in the eyes of the spectators. — The
Love Affairs of an Old Maid.



rhe LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



January

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January
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January
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rhe LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



ja»ua>-9r A WOMAN who has quarrelled
x\. with her lover, in her secret heart
expects him back daily and hourly, no matter what
the cause of the estrangement, until he becomes in-
volved with another woman. Then she lays all the
blame of his defection at the door of the alien,
where, in the opinion of an Old Maid, it generally
belongs. — 'The Love Affairs of an Old Maid.



jantiarsr Ti ^EN make no secret of the kind
i. ▼ X of women they want us to be.
We get preached at from pulpits and written about
by " The Saunterer " and " The Man about Town "
and " The One who knows it All," telling us how
to be womanly, how to look to please men, how to
behave to please men, and how to save our souls
to please men, until, if we were not a sweet, amiable
set, we would rebel as a sex, and declare that we
thought we were lovely just the way we were, and
that we were not going to change for anybody ! —
From a GirTs Point of View.



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The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK
30



Jantxary
31



FEBRUARY



February /^FTEN it IS not that we are not
V - / secretly much more of women,
and better and cleverer women, than men think us.
But there is no call for such wares, so we lay char-
acter and brain on the shelves to mildew, and fill
the show-windows with confectionery and illusion.
We supply the demand. — From a Girl's Point of
View.

if

February j-jRAY do not imagine that girls
JT have certain hours for studying
how to make good wives, or that it is as rigid or
exhausting as a broom drill. — From a Girl's Point
of View.



February ^^ AUGED by a woman's love,
VJ many men love, marry, and die
without even approximating the real grand passion
themselves or comprehending that which they have
inspired ; for no one but a woman can fathom a
woman's love. — The Love Affairs of an Old Maid.



26



FEBRUARY



February

1



February
2



February
3



rhe LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



February T y £ Icnows that he is in love, — that
^ X. J. is one great step in the right di-

rection. But he is in that first partly alarmed,
partly curious frame of mind that a man would be
in who touched his broken arm for the first time, to
see how much it hurt.^ — l^he Love Affairs of an
Old Maid.



Februarjr "^^TOW, if the asscrtion is made that
^ X^ the American man makes the best

husband in the world, let him not think that there
is no room for improvement ; for with him it is
much the same as it is with the wild strawberry.
At first blush one would say that there could be
no more delicious flavor than that of the wild straw-
berry. Yet everybody knows what the skilled gar-
deners have made of it in the form of the cultivated
fruit. — From a Girl 's Point of View.



February QjHE is too refined and high-minded
y<D to defend herself against the " slings
and arrows of outrageous " people, although, if she
would, she could exterminate them with her wit. —
'The Love Affairs of an Old Maid.



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rhe LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



February

4



February

5



February
6



rke LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



February TT HAVE Seen a young, untried race-
^ X horse ; with small, pointed, restless

ears ; with delicate nostrils where the red blood
showed ; with full, soft eyes where fire flashed ;
where pride and fire and royal blood seemed to
urge a trial of their powers, and I have thought :
" You are capable of passing anything on the track
and coming under the wire triumphant and victo-
rious ; or you might fulfil your prophecy equally
well by falling dead in your first heat. We can be
sure of nothing until you are tried ; but it is a
quivering delight to look at you and to share your
impatience and to wonder what you will do." Oc-
casionally I see women who affect me in the same
way. — 'The Love Affairs of an Old Maid.



February yj^ secms, too, that she is great
* A enough to be a target. So she is

under fire continually. This, while it causes her
exquisite suffering, is from no fault of her own,
save the unforgivable one of being original. " A
frog spat at a glow-worm. * Why do you spit at
me?' said the glow-worm. 'Why do you shine
so ? ' said the frog." — The Love Affairs of an Old
Maid.



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The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK
Febrtiarx

7



Tebruary-

8



The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK

February ^TT^HERE IS Something strangely pa-
X. thetic about an American woman's
worship of titles. It is so sincere, so deep-rooted,
so overpoweringly honest. Let Americans try to
conceal it as they will, — let the men mock and the
women dissemble, — yet, within an hour after they
have really met a man of title, both will find them-
selves talking of it. — The Expatriates.



February j THINK men are a good deal
A more human than women. You can
work them out by algebra (for they never have
more than one unknown quantity, while in the
woman problem there would be more a:'s than any-
thing else) ; and you can go by rules, and get the
answer. But nothing ever calculated or evolved
can get the final answer to one woman, though they
do say she is fond of the last word. — The hove
Affairs of an Old Maid.

February ^^ LEVER girls are also human.
V^ They love to go about and wear
pretty clothes, and dance, and be admired quite as
much as anybody. — From a Girl's Point of View.



32



rhe LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



February



February
lO



February
11



rhe LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



February ^ MAN With a conscIencc will sac-
xjL rifice his head and his bodily com-
fort to his ideal of duty, but he clings tenaciously
to his heart's desire, and yields that last, if at all.
A woman with a conscience often makes a burnt-
offering of her heart from pure altruism. Men call
such a woman either a saint or — cold. — The Love
Affairs of an Old Maid.

February ripHESE silent, sympathetic souls,
Jl whose receptivity makes them sen-
sitive to the fine and beautiful, are the companions
whom those need who have the gift of expression.
They are the great mental cushions which pillow
the sharp points of speech. They are the comple-
ment of the inarticulate, — the joy, the comfort, the
everlasting haven of the speakers in this world. —
A Little Sister to the Wilderness.



February QQUTHERN compHmcnts to

^ \SJ women spring from the heart,

French from the head. But a Frenchman lays
his hand upon his heart, and that misleads the un-
thinking. — Miss Scarborough's Point of VieWy from
Sir John and the American Girl,



34



rhe LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



February
12



February
13



February

14



The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK

February ^TpRY to talk to the untrained man
* JL under thirty-five upon any subject

except himself. Bait him with different topics of
universal interest, and try to persuade him to leave
his own point of view long enough to look through
the eyes of the world. And then notice the hope-
less persistence with which he avoids your dex-
terous eiforts, and mentally lies down to worry his
Ego again, like a dog with a bone. — The Untrained
Man under Thirty-jive^ from From a GirVs Point
of View.

February TT E has what I Call a conscience
^^ J. JL for surface things. He regards

life from the wrong point of view, and, as to his
always intending to do right — you know the place
said to be paved with good intentions. — The Love
Affairs of an Old Maid.

February y^IRLS are just the same along the
*^ VJT main lines of sentiment and hope

and trust and belief in men now as they ever were,
and most of this talk about the new woman being
different is mere stuff and nonsense. — From a
Girl's Point of View.



36



The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



February

15



February
lO



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The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



February " J AM only twenty-sevcM, and it is
X too soon to give up all love-mak-
ing from my own husband. It makes me miss it
more to be with a girl like you and see men in love
with you, as men used to be with me, and looking
at you as though they loved the very thought of
you, and seeing every move you make whether
they are looking at you or not, and hearing every
word you speak even if they are talking to some-
body else. It used to be that way with Frank and
me. Then it fell away, as it so often does." — Miss
Scarborough's Point of View, from Sir John and the
American Girl.

February rT^HERE is nothing like travelling
A together or being jealous to bring
out the innate vulgarity of people's natures. — As
Seen by Me.



February y ]s^ j-j^g divine unconsciousncss of
X innocent childhood this baby com-
forted the pure and the guilty woman alike. Only
wisdom and culture would later teach her where to
soothe with stones and where with kisses. — A Little
Sister to the Wilderness.



38



rhe LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK.

February
18



February
19



February
20



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The LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK

February ^HE had fetched and carried for her
k3 mother until it was second nature
for her to thrust pillows behind people's backs and
tuck footstools under their feet. And many per-
sons unaccustomed to these gentle ministrations,
who visited her in her new home, were so touched
by her thoughtfulness that they cheerfully sat for
hours with their knees too high for comfort rather
than reject her little props. — The Under Side of
Things.

February *« J WONDER that thcse emotional
X women get on at all. I should
think they would die of the strain. Men are always
deadly afraid of such women. I believe my hus-
band wouldn't stop running till he got to Cali-
fornia if I should burst into tears and not be able
to tell him instantly just exactly where my neu-
ralgia had jumped to." — The Love Affairs of an Old
Maid,

February ry^HERE is nothing so uncivil at
jL times as to be cuttingly polite.
What I said wasn't so at all, but a woman is obliged
to defend herself from a man who reads her like an
open book. — The Love Affairs of an Old Maid.



40



r h e LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



21



Febrtxary
22



Kebrtiary
23



rhe LILIAN BELL BIRTHDAY BOOK



Februar^r yj QMANCE comes later to a boy
^ XV than to a girl ; but it hits him just

as hard when it does come, and a boy is quite as
responsive as a girl to the suggestion of a personal
chivalry which shall prepare him to be a better hus-
band to a shadowy personality which he cannot do
better than to keep in his mind and heart. — From a
Girl's Point of View.



February TT IKE many Other good womcn, with
^ jL-J excellent small town intentions and

high ideals in tatting, she was her brother's keeper
to such a rigorous extent that her spiritual brother
often longed to go from her presence straight to
the broad way which leadeth to destruction, just for
a relish. — l^he Under Side of 'Things.

if
February «« A/fR' FINCH COuIdn't kill EHy-


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