person upon earth doth plight them their troth ; and though nothing
to them in the order of nature, or by proximity of blood, yet owes
them everything, love, respect, mutual assistance, fidelity. Finally,
I hold that God doth honour to fathers and mothers, by choosing
them to bring up in the marriage state a lawful progeny, that is,
servants, by whom he is glorified, and his church augmented.
Here, then, we see the three invaluable prerogatives of matrimony ;
it is a sacrament, it is a mutual tie of society, and it is a lawful pro-
pagation of children for God. All this is true, beloved Christians ;
but do not imagine that these advantages are in such a manner gra-
tuitous, as that they are attended with no charge or inconvenience.
For this is the idea you ought to form of them, and which I wish
you to comprehend, as they make the division of this discourse.
Wherefore, from these three kinds of good result of necessity :
First, duties of conscience, and indispensable obligations to be
fulfilled in matrimony.
Secondly, great difficulties, and very grievous to be undergone,
in matrimony.
Thirdly, excessive dangers with respect to salvation, to be avoided
in matrimony.
Now I maintain that you cannot satisfy these obligations, nor
undergo these difficulties, nor escape these dangers, independently
of the grace and vocation of God. Whence, I infer, that there is
not a state among all mankind, in which this vocation of God is
more necessary. This is the subject of your favourable attention,
which I humbly crave.
Part I. It cannot be doubted, beloved Christians, that to con-
246 ON MATRIMONY.
sider matrimony in its whole extent, and especially according to
the qualities which I have pointed out : as a sacrament, as a mu-
tual tie of society, and with respect to a proper education of chil-
dren, which it lawfully propagates, this state carries with it obli-
gations which it is of the utmost consequence for you to know tho-
roughly, and which, in order to satisfy the duty annexed to my
ministry, I am going to explain to you.
1st. It is, without doubt, a great happiness for the Christian
world, and for you in particular, who are called by Providence to
live in the world, that the Son of God hath sanctified matrimony
by its institution ; that matrimony is not a criminal state, as certain
heretics would have represented it ; nor a civil partnership, as it is
among the pagans ; nor a simple ceremony of religion, as it was in
the old law : but a sacrament which confers the grace of Jesus
Christ, a sacrament instituted for the sanctification of souls, to re-
present one of the greatest mysteries, the Word made flesh, and to
apply the merits thereof to such as worthily receive it. " This (says
St. Paul) is a great sacrament ;" (Ephes. v. ;) and I mention it, my
brethren, that you may know the advantages which our holy reli-
gion possesses in this above all others. For it is not great, but in-
asmuch as it bears a relation to Jesus Christ, our divine Saviour.
It is not great, but for the faithful, who are the members of the
mystical body of Jesus Christ ; that is, it is only great for you.
" I say unto you in Christ, and in the church." Ephes. v. All this
is taught by faith. Whence we may infer, that there are many
obligations, to which little attention are paid in the world, and
which, nevertheless, are imposed by matrimony. For, since it is
a sacrament in the law of grace, we are not, therefore, allowed to
engage in it, but with a pure and holy attention : we are not, there-
fore, allowed to receive it, but with a conscience free from sin ; we
are not, therefore, allowed to use it, but in conformity to the views
of God, and for an end worthy of God ; and whoever is wanting
in these duties, commits an offence nearly approaching to the nature
of a sacrilege, by profaning a sacrament. Admitting the principles
laid down by faith, there is nothing in all these consequences, but
what is evident and incontestable.
But to these consequences little attention is paid in the world.
And what is the reason of it ? What is the reason that the rules
of piety which Christians follow, and which they believe should be
followed in the receiving other sacraments, are forgotten in this ?
ON MATRIMONY. 247
You are often the first and the most zealous in condemning a man,
who should take to the church, and go into orders from interested
views, or views of ambition. You would not approach the sacra-
ment of our altars, without a previous purification in the waters of
penance ; and you would imagine it a high crime to present your-
self at the tribunal of penance for any other end than to honour
God, and be restored to his favour. When mention as made of
Simon the sorcerer, who asked the apostles for confirmation, from
the detestable motive of vain-glory ; and when you are told that
Judas appeared at the table of our Lord, and received communion
in a criminal disposition, you abominate the wickedness of the one
and the other. Now is not matrimony as holy and as venerable
in quality of sacrament ? Was it not instituted by the Saviour of
the world himself, as well as the other sacraments ? Doth it not
contain mysteries a3 elevated as the other sacraments do ? Is not
whatever is said to the honour of other sacraments applicable to
this in the same degree ? And doth it not, by consequence,
require proportionably as perfect dispositions, as Christian a motive,
a purity of heart as entire, and a use of them as decorous and as
holy ?
All this we know in theory ; but in practice people make a dif-
ference between this and other sacraments. For these they prepare ;
in these they seek God, and are influenced by religious motives
and sentiments ; and in this they act. merely conformably to the
laws of Christianity. But if the question relates to the sacrament
of which I am speaking, you would say, it was in life an indifferent
tiling, and quite profane, that luid nothing to do with God or reli-
gion. They make no conscience of contracting marriage upon
merely human considerations. They celebrate it at the foot of the
altar, in an actual state of sin ; and although it be incontestably a
sacrilegious profanation, scarce do they scruple it, for that most of
them know little or nothing of this point of conscience. Now,
beloved hearers, can they plead their justification, upon this head,
before Almighty God ? For if you would have me declare to you
candidly, what I think of the matter — it is one of the most mate-
rial irregularities, this day, in the Christian world. They seem
no longer to consider wedlock as a sacred thing, but as a temporal
affair, a mere negotiation. Who consults God, in the view of
embracing this state ? Who looks upon this state, as a state of
holiness, to which he is called by Almighty God ? Who chooses
248 ON MATRIMONY.
this state for the sake of his eternal predestination and salvation ?
Shall I say it ? The pagans themselves were more religious, wise,
and reasonable in this respect. If matrimony was not a sacrament
among them, neither was it, as it is become among us, a mercenary
traffic, by which people give themselves to one another, influenced
neither by a reasonable inclination, nor a real esteem, nor personal
merit, but by revenues and inheritances, by gold and silver. Such
is the knot which money ties, in almost all these alliances. And
hence arises a very common, and not less deplorable inordination ;
namely, that after marriages contracted without attachment, crimi-
nal attachments are formed without marriage. Be that as it may,
beloved Christians, what cannot sufficiently be lamented is, that
although matrimony includes in its essence, two qualities, that of
a contract, and that of a sacrament, they pay no regard but to the
former, which is of an inferior order, and absolutely neglect the
other, which is quite supernatural and divine. As a contract, it is
managed according to all the rules of prudence. How many trea-
ties, conferences, and meetings, articles and conditions, precautions
and measures ! But as a sacrament, it is concluded without reflec-
tion or preparation. They think that all consists in a few external
ceremonies, practised by the church, of which they acquit them-
selves without recollection, or the spirit of religion. Now, is it
possible, that a sacrament profaned in this manner, should draw
down upon you those succours of grace which God hath annexed
to it ? And if these succours be withheld from you, how will you
be able to fulfil the duties of your state ?
2ndly. I say the obligations which matrimony imposes, consi-
dered not only as a sacrament, but as a bond of mutual fellowship.
For here it is that the most powerful and abundant graces of God
are necessary. I shall make it appear to you. The fellowship I
speak of, is not only in appearance, but in affection ; insomuch that
you follow this precept of the apostle to the letter: "Husbands,
love your wives ;" (Ephes. v. ;) and you, wives, those whom Pro-
vidence hath given you for husbands. The rule you must follow
is, to love one another, "even as Christ loved the church." Ephes. v.
This, I say, is your model. Love one another with a respectful
love, a faithful love, an officious and condescending love, a con-
stant and durable love, a Christian love. All these are so many
duties, included in that conjugal faith, which you mutually pro-
mised, and which united you. Be pleased to take notice : I say,
ON MATRIMONY. 249
with a respectful love ; because a familiarity without respect, leads
insensibly, and almost infallibly, to contempt. I say, with a faith-
ful love, so as to quit, for a husband or a wife, father and mother,
as these are the express words of the law of God ; and with still
greater reason, so as to break every other tie that might captivate
the heart, and so as to draw the affection from any other object
that may seem to share it in any wise. I say, with an officious and
condescending love, which obviates difficulties, compassionates
weaknesses, inspires a conformity of mind and thought, and keeps
up harmony between one and another's wills. I say, with a con-
stant and durable love, to resist vexations and disagreeable humours,
suspicions and jealousies, animosities and rancour. In fine, I say,
with a Christian love ; for here I may apply, and ought to make
good the saying of St. Paul, that the Christian and virtuous woman
is the sanctification of her husband. Such were those illustrious
princesses who sanctified empires, by converting to God, and sanc-
tifying princes, of whom they were, at one and the same time, the
spouses and apostles. Such, ladies, ought you to be doing, that
in your families, which they so gloriously, and with so much merit
did in kingdoms. The best proof you can give your husbands of
a true love, is, to wean them from vice, and bring them to the
service and way of God ; employing, for that purpose, all your
thoughts, all your Avishes, all your advices, all your cares, and
encouraging yourselves to steadily persevere in this holy work, by
that excellent saying of St. Jerom to Loeta. She was the daughter
of a man addicted to idolatry, but whom his wife at last induced,
by vigilance and patience, to embrace the faith. " Now (says St.
Jerom) it could not be otherwise ; so great a zeal as that of your
mother for her husband's salvation, could not have any other effect.
And §>r my own part, (adds this holy doctor, in his usual lofty and
figurative style,) I verily believe that if Jupiter himself, whom the
pagans had adored, had lived in so holy a union and fellowship, he
would have believed in Christ our Lord."
But, beloved hearers, the reverse of this, which cannot suffici-
ently be deplored, (and of which, perhaps, you know yourselves
the pernicious consequences,) is extremely general in these times.
You know it well ; as it happens every day before your eyes. This
fellowship, which ought to be the cement and honour of families,
and their best support, and which husband and wife should mutu-
ally preserve as the best and most inestimable happiness of their
250 ON MATRIMONY.
life, is eternally exposed to quarrels, aversions, separations, and
sometimes scandalous reports ; and all this, because neither he nor
she will at all contribute to the keeping it up. The wife is head-
strong, whimsical, vain, and a great lover of her own person. She
is fond of plays, of living splendidly, of ornamental attire, of gay
company, and of all the elegancies and diversions of life. The hus-
band is imperious, jealous, fretful, morose and passionate ; a man
of pleasure, and immersed in debauchery. And because they are
unwilling to thwart their inclinations in the least, she to moderate
her stubbornness, to regulate her whims, to set bounds to her
amusements, to her dissipation, to her vanity, to her attachment to
the world ; he, to bring down his haughtiness, to mitigate his fret-
fulness, to lay aside his unjust suspicions, and extravagant and ill-
founded disquietudes ; to moderate his anger, and to forego the
infamous practice of debauchery ; reciprocal complaints, murmurs,
and reproaches unavoidably ensue. They conceive a disgust of
one another ; and not unfrequently, (to prevent disorders of a worse
nature,) they find themselves reduced to the necessity of separating
from one another. These divorces and separations are authorised,
indeed, by human laws, but are not, upon that account, void of all
guilt before God, and according to the laws of God. They are
frequent in the world at this day ; and we may look upon them as
the disgrace of our age, especially among Christians. To these
divorces and separations is owing the ruin of many families noted
for property and popularity, in which the saying of our blessed
Saviour is fulfilled to the letter: "That every kingdom divided
in itself shall be laid waste." In this state, however, it is not un-
common to see persons, otherwise addicted to the works of godli-
ness, live without scruple, not reflecting that the chief duty of real
godliness is, in their regard, and so far as it depends on their care,
to remain in a fellowship which God himself hath formed, or which
ought, at least, to have been formed by God.
3rdly. And why did he form it ? I have given the reason of it
from St. Augustin ; for a lawful propagation, and the education
of children. This is the third and last ground, on which are raised
the most important and essential obligations of wedlock. For, it
is not enough to have given them birth, and brought them into
the world ; they must be nursed and taken care of. It is not
enough to nurse them and take care of them, they must be provided
for. It is not enough to provide for them in a worldly way, they
ON MATRIMONY. 251
must be instructed and brought up in a Christian manner. To fur-
nish them with a subsistence, and the support of a life which they
received from you, is what nature dictates, and to which it were
needless to suggest motives. To think of settling them in the
world, is, besides the dictates of parental affection, what ambition
oftentimes inspires you withal, and in prosecuting which, you are
but too zealous, and too ardent. To labour for their perfection,
by cultivating certain talents, which may distinguish and advance
them in the world, is a care which you do not absolutely neglect,
and of which some acquit themselves with proper assiduity. Not
but that there are of those hard and unfeeling parents, who, taken
up entirely Avith themselves, seem to have no knowledge cf their
children, and suffer them to want the most common necessaries,
while nothing is refused to their own persons that may satisfy their
worldliness and sensuality. Not but that there are to whom the
sight of their children becomes so shamefully insupportable, that
they keep them many years from their parental home, banish them
in some sort from their presence, and abandon them to strangers
for their education. Not but that there are who will part with
nothing to settle their children in a manner suitable to their
birth and family ; but will suffer them quietly, and without pity,
to drag on a miserable life at home, to an advanced age, and reduce
them to the necessity of passing their days without rank, fortune,
name, or profession. Not but that there are, who, from a total
forgetfulness of their children, or through a weak and vicious con-
descension for them, neglect to educate them, even for the world,
permitting them to follow their own ways, and giving them up, as
one may say, to themselves, and to all their natural defects and
propensities.
What a field, were I willing to expatiate on these, and on many
other irregularities, which I pass over ; because, after all, they are
neither so important nor so frequent ! But the most essential and
most general is, to instruct children in the ways of the world, and
not teach them the duties of a Christian ; to attend to everything
that concerns their fortune, and neglect whatever concerns their
salvation ; to inspire them with sentiments agreeable to the maxims
and principles of the times, and not mind whether or not their sen-
timents agree with the maxims and principles of the gospel. To
forgive them nothing, when the point is concerning a genteel air,
a courteous demeanour, and a knowledge of the world, and be very
r2
252 ON MATRIMONY.
easy with regard to innocence of manners and practice of piety,
For what, however, will parents be more responsible to God, than
for the sanctification of their children ? As that, undoubtedly, of
all affairs, holds the first place ; or, rather, as that is their only
necessary affair, it is to that particularly they should have an eye
in the instructions they give the children entrusted by Providence
to their care. It is their province, therefore, to direct their chil-
dren in the ways of God, and make them persevere in his fear and
love; to correct 'he vicious inclinations of their children, and give
them an early relish of virtue ; to keep away, and preserve their
children from whatever may corrupt their hearts — domestic irregu-
larities, loose conversation, dangerous company, obscene plays, bad
books ; to procure for their children pious instructions, to give them
useful advice themselves, but above all, to give them good exam-
ple, being particularly careful to say or do nothing that may occa-
sion scandal to souls so weak, and so susceptible of every impression.
This would lead me too far ; and, therefore, to cultivate the time
allowed me, I shall enlarge no more upon this head.
To return then : such, beloved hearers, are the obligations of
the marriage state. They are, I grant, attended with difficulties,
nay, with great difficulties. But what did I mean to infer from
thence ? That no one should engage in this state, without a call
from God. For, to fulfil all these obligations, the special assistance
of heaven is requisite ; and this assistance Almighty God grants to
those only whom he calls : an assistance requisite, not only to fulfil
the obligations of the marriage state, but to bear its difficulties, as
I am going to set forth in the second part.
Part II. There are difficulties, beloved Christians, in the mar-
riage state ; and of this the proof is the more evident, because your
experience of it is so frequent. ' To represent them to you, I need
only follow the same ideas, by considering matrimony in the same
light. And here be pleased (for the subject requires it) to renew
your attention.
I have said, and I say it again, that matrimony is a sacrament ;
and that to this is owing its greatest excellence in the law of grace,
but that to this likewise is owing its slavery. The reason of it is
this same quality of sacrament that renders it indissoluble, and by
consequence, that makes it a yoke, a subjection, a kind of slavery,
by which a person gives up his liberty. If the Son of God had
not raised matrimony to the dignity of a sacrament, it would have
ON MATRIMONY. 253
been no more than a simple contract, more rigorous, indeed, than
any other engagement whatever ; but which, after all, mi
broken in extreme necessity. Accordingly we find, that among
those pagans, whose laws and jurisprudence were the most con-
formable to human reason, the dissolution of marriages was autho-
rised and practised. They dissolved them, when important reasons
induced them to do so ; and they gave up alliances which they had
contracted, so soon as they appeared prejudicial to them. Almighty
God himself, in the old law, permitted the Jews to repudiate their
wives ; and although he granted them this privilege only in conde-
scension to the hardness of their hearts, it was, notwithstanding, a
lawful power, which they were allowed the liberty to use. But in
the Christian church, that is, since Christ made marriage a sacra-
ment, and communicated to it the yirtue of a sacrament, it carries
with it the characteristic of immutability. Acknowledged once
valid, it always remains so. Although the conversion of life were
at stake ; although the destruction of kingdoms were threatened ;
although ruin hung over the universal church, and all the powers
on earth were combined in arms against her, this marriage would
subsist till death, which alone can put a period to it. This is the
doctrine even of faith.
Now this, Christians, is what I call a slavery, and what is really
such. For I ask you : Is not a state which brings you into sub-
jection, without well knowing to whom you give yourself, in some
measure a state of slavery ? Now, all this is a consequence of matri-
mony. You are another's right ; and this is what is most essential
to it. Another's, I say, who had no property in you before, but
to whom you now belong, as having acquired an inalienable right
to your person. By the priesthood, I engaged myself to God only,
and to myself; to God, my supreme Master, to whom I already
belonged ; and to myself, who have from nature a power to rule
and govern myself. But this dominion which you had over your-
self, you transfer by marriage to another person ; and what is most
difficult, and most heroical in religious profession, becomes the chief
obligation of your state. Besides, I am not tied down by religious
profession to any particular person ; I am not always subject either
to this person, or to that, but sometimes to one, and sometimes to
another, which needs must greatly alleviate the yoke. Whereas,
in matrimony, your engagement is perpetual. If the person pleases
you, and is just such as your heart could wish, it is a great happi-
254 ON MATRIMONY.
ness ; but if the husband pleases not the wife, or if the wife doth
not suit the husband, they are not the less tied together for that ;
and what a torment must be such a union !
I shall add, my brethren, another difference, but a very remark-
able one, between both our conditions. It is this : previous to the
engagement in a religious state, there is a noviciate, and a time of
trial, which is not the case with respect to matrimony. Of all the
conditions in life, (says St. Jerom,) matrimony is that which should
most particularly be left to our choice, and of all conditions it is
the least so. You enter into engagements, and you know not with
whom ; for you know not the sense, the temper, the disposition,
the qualifications of the person with whom you join in so strict an
alliance, till you have given your word, and it is too late to think
of retracting. While this young man pays his addresses to you,
he is all complaisance, all mildness, moderation, and virtue ; but
when the indissoluble knot is tied, you will soon discover what he
is. You will see bluntness succeed to this affected mildness ; vio-
lence to this supposed moderation ; and debauchery to this hypo-
critical virtue. While this young woman remains unmarried, and
her only wish is to give you her hand, she behaves with composure,
and counterfeits her character ; but when once she finds this circum-
spection and care to please you are not so necessary, you will soon
be plagued with her whims, humours, stubbornness and haughti-
ness. Do what you please, take all precautions, use what care,
diligence, and address you will, you must run some hazard in the
marriage contract, which made Solomon say, that " a house and
riches are given by parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord."
Prov. xix.
Consider, therefore, seriously my brethren, what such an engage-
ment is, and such a servitude for all one's life, without redress.
There is no vow, how solemn soever, with which the church may
not dispense ; but as to marriage, her hands are, as I may say, tied,