riage; never did I behold a man of happier as
pect; although I know one of happier fortunes in
comparably. But Longfellow appears perfectly
satisfied, and to be no more conscious of any
earthly or spiritual trouble than a sunflower is
of which lovely blossom he, I know not why, re
minded me. Hillard looked better than I have
154
ever before seen him, and was in high spirits on ac
count of the success of his oration. It seems to
have had truly triumphant success superior to
that of any Phi Beta Kappa oration ever deliv
ered. It gladdened me most to see this melan
choly shadow of a man for once bathed and even
pervaded with a sunshine; and I must doubt
whether any literary success of my own ever gave
me so much pleasure. Outward triumphs are
necessary to him; to thy husband they are any
thing but essential.
From Hillard s I went to see Colonel Hall, and
had a talk about politics and official matters; and
the good Colonel invited me to dinner; and I con
cluded to accept, inasmuch as, by dining with the
Count, I should have been forced to encounter
Brownson from whom the Lord deliver u-
These are the main incidents of the day; but 1
did not leave Boston till half past five, by which
time I was quite wearied with the clatter and con
fusion of the city, so unlike our quiet brooding
life at home. Oh, dear little Dove, thou shouldst
have been with me; and then all the quiet would
have been with me likewise.
Great was the surprise and joy of I^ouisa when
she found me at the door. I found them all
pretty well; but our poor mother seems to have
155
grown older and thinner since I saw her at last.
They all inquired for thee with loving kindness
Louisa intended to come and visit us in about a
week; and I shnll not thwart her purpose, if it still
continue. She thinks she may he ready in a week
from to-day. And, dearest little wife, I fear that
thy husband will have to defer his return to thy
blessed arms till the same day. Longfellow
wants me to dine with him on Friday; and my
mother will not be content to give me up before
Thursday; and indeed it is not altogether unrea
sonable that she should have me this long; because
she will not see me again.
But, sweetest Phoebe, thou knowest not how I
yearn for thee. Never hadst thou such love, as
now. Oh, dearest wife, take utmost care of thy
self; for if any harm should come to thee during
my absence, I should always impute blame to my
self. Do watch over my Dove, now that I am
away. And should my presence be needful be
fore Saturday, I will fly to thee at a moment s
warning. If all continue well, I shall proceed to
Boston on Thursday, visit Longfellow on Friday,
and come home (Oh, happiest thought!) on Sat
urday night, with Louisa, if she finds it possible
to come. If anything should detain her, it will
be our mother s health. God bless thee. Amen.
156
Afternoon. What a scrawl is the fore-going!
I wrote fast because I loved fervently. I shall
write once more before my. return. Take care of
thy dearest little self and do not get weary.
THY BEST OF HUSBANDS.
Mrs. Nathaniel Hawthorne,
Concord, Massachusetts.
157
TO MRS. HAWTHORNE
Salem, Novr. io th , 1845
Owncsf,
It was revealed to me that thou didst write on
Saturday, and so, at nightfall, I went to the Post-
Office, but found no letter. This morning, it
has arrived, with the postmark of to-day. It
gladdens me to hear of Una s joy, and of thy be
ing with people whom thou knowest well, and
who know thee well, and with whom thou canst
have real intercourse and sympathy. As for us
in Castle Dismal, we miss thee greatly, all of us,
and dwell in a deeper shadow for lack of thee, and
that streak of living sunshine with which thou
hast illuminated the earth. Whom do I mean by
this brilliant simile? Can it be that little red
headed personage 1 ? Ixniisa complains of the si
lence of the house; and not all their innumerable
cats avail to comfort them in the least. Thy hus
band thinks of thee when he ought to be scribbling
nonsense and very empty and worthless is his
daily life, without thee. Nevertheless, if thou
art at ease, do not come home in less than a week.
I feel as if it were good for thee to be there, and
good for Una too. Louisa told me, yesterday,
with some alarm in her manner, that Or. Moss
(thy medical friend) says that the illness from
vaccination does not come on, or does not reach its
crisis, till the ninth day. Can this be so? And
will it be necessary to wait so long? That would
postpone thy return till the middle of next week
a term to which I cannot yet reconcile myself/
I read Una s note, addressed to "Madame
Hawthorne," then sealed it up and threw it down
stairs. Doubtless, they find it a most interesting
communication; and I feel a little shamefaced
about meeting them.
I hear nothing from Washington as yet; nor,
indeed, is it yet time to expect any definite intelli
gence. Meanwhile Pike and thy friend David
are planning to buy us an estate, and build a
house, and have even/gone so far as to mark out the
ground-plot of the house, in chalk, on David s
hearth. I fear it will nrove a castle in the air;
and yet, a moderate smile of Providence would
cause it to spring out of the earth, on that beauti
ful hillside, like a flower in the summer time.
With a cottage of our own, and the surveyorship,
159
how happy we might be! happier than in Con
cord, on many accounts. The Surveyorship I
think we shall have; but the cottage implies an
extra thousand or fifteen hundred dollars.
I have heard of Mr. Atherton s being in Boston
since thy departure; whether Mrs. Atherton
is with him I know not. Governor Fairfield, I
understand, starts tor Washington to-day.
God bless thee, dearest! and blessed be our
daughter^, whom I love next to thee! Again, if
thou feelest it good for thee, on any account, to
stay longer in Boston, do not hasten home; but
whenever thou comest, my heart will open to take
thee in.
THY LOVINGEST HUSBAND.
160
TO MRS. HAWTHORNE
Castle Dismal, Novr. 13 th , 1845
Intimatcst Friend^
I cannot settle down to work this forenoon, or
do anything but write to thee nor even that, I
fear, with any good effect; for I am just as much
dissatisfied with this mode of intercourse as al
ways hitherto. It is a wretched mockery. But
then it is a semblance of communication, and,
thus far, better than nothing.
I got thy letter of Tuesday the same evening,
while it was still warm out of thy heart; and it
seemed to fill the air round about me with Nona s
prattle. I do love her that is the truth, and
almost feel it a pity to lose a single day of her de
velopment; only thou wilt tell me, by letter or
by mouth, all the pretty things that she says or
does, and more over find a beauty in them which
would escape my grosser perception. Thus, on
the whole, I shall be a gainer by our occasional
separations. Thee I miss, and without any rec-
161
ompense. I marvel how it is that some husbands
spend years and years away from their wives, and
then come home with perhaps a bag or two of
gold, earned by the sacrifice of all that life.
Even poverty is better and in saying that, thou
knowest how much I say.
Nothing has happened here since I wrote thee
last. I suspect the intelligence of thy meditated
baby is very pleasant to the grandmother and
aunts; for Louisa met me at dinner, that day, with
unusual cheerfulness, and observed that Thanks
giving was at hand, and that we must think of
preparing. [ As| for me, I already love the future
little personage; and yet, somehow or other, I feel
a jealousy of him or her, on Una s account, and
should not choose to have the new baby better
than the old one. So take care what thou dost,
Phoebe Hawthorne! And now I think of it, do
not thou venture into that tremendous press and
squeeze, which always takes place on landing
from the ferry-boat at the East Boston depot.
Thou art not to be trusted in such a tumult ; it will
be far better to wait behind, and compel the con
ductor to find thee a seat. There is always the
densest squeeze on Saturdays.
But I shall not expect thee back on Saturday.
According to Dr. Wesselhoeft s dictum, and sup-
162
[xxsing the vaccination to have taken, that will be
precisely the critical day ; if Dr. Moss be correct,
the crisis comes on Monday. In either case, I
hope thou wilt wait a little. There is the great
est satisfaction to me in thinking how comforta
bly situated thou art, with thy sister at thy elbow,
and thy mother at arms length, and thy Aescula
pius within a five minutes summons. - If I (and
thou too, thou lov ingest one) could endure it, I
should be glad that thou mightest spend the win
ter there; but that is too hearth-chilling to think of
so thou must even come back, in a few days
more, to old Castle Dismal ! But I shall never
feel at home here with thee. I went, the other
afternoon, to look at the hill where Pike and the
Chancellor have built a castle in the air for our
reception. Thou hast no idea what capacities it
has.
(Portion of letter missing)
163,
TO MRS. HAWTHORNE
Salem, Jany. 19 th , 1846. Tuesday
Ownest Phoebe,
The shoe arrived last evening; but on what evi
dence thou dost so confidently accuse me of put
ting it into the trunk, I cannot imagine. Thou
positively didst put it there thyself. I saw thee!
Dearest, if any money comes from New York
by to-day s mail, I will come to Boston on Thurs
day morning, to escort thee home. Otherwise, I
really do not think I ought. Heaven knows, I
desire it; but as it is not necessary for thy safety,
and as we are so miserably poor, methinks the dol
lar should be reserved for indispensables. I did
hope the New York money would have come to
hand before now. Providence must take our
matters in hand very speedily.
I hope, Phoebe, thou hast not engaged to pay
Winifred s passage, either to or from Boston. She
told Mrs. Dromedary that she should not have
164
gone with thee, only that her passage would be
paid. She has a cousin living at the Essex House
in this city; and the Dromedary thinks she is
partly engaged to go there herself. This is the
secret of her willingness to remain in Salem. Do-
tish as she appeared, she has wit enough to be fair
and false, like all her countryfolk. It will be
well to investigate this matter before thou return-
est; and, if she really means to leave us, perhaps
thou hadst better engage a new girl in Boston
forthwith.
Poor little Una s back my heart bleeds for it.
Do not come back till it is well, nor till thou thy
self hast undergone thorough repairs, even though
thou shouldst be compelled to hire a lodging.
Ownest, be careful rot to slip down. Thou
art prudent in behalf of other people, but hast
little caution on thine own account. In going to
the cars do not get entangled in that great rush of
people who throng out of the ferry-boat. Re
main behind, and Heaven will find thee a seat.
Would thou wast safe home again, eating thy po
tatoes, and glancing sideways at me with thy look
of patient resignation. Never did I miss thee so
much as during this separation. But for the idea
of thee, my existence would be as cold and wintry
as the weather is now, and with a cloudy gloom
165
besides, instead of the dazzling sunshine. I was
driven to play cards with Louisa, last evening!
God bless thee! I have nothing more to say,
that can be said.
THINE OWNEST HUBAND.
Mrs. Sophia A. Hawthorne,
Care of Dr. N. Peabody,
Boston, Massachusetts,
166
TO MRS. HAWTHORNE
Salem, April 24^, 1846. 6 P. M.
Ownest dearest,
I have this moment received the packet and thy
letter, and cannot tolerate that thou shouldst not
have a word from thy husband tomorrow morn
ing. Truly, Castle Dismal has seemed darker
than ever, since I returned to it; and not only
to me, but to its other inmates. Louisa spoke of
the awful stillness of the house, and said she
could not bear to give Una s old shoes to that
little Lines child, and was going to keep them
herself. I rejoiced her much, by telling her of
Una s home-sickness.
Fees were tolerably good, yesterday and to
day; and I doubt we shall have enough to live on,
during thy continuance in Boston for which let
us be thankful.
Bridge came to see me this afternoon, and says
Mary Pray rjas consented to come to thee ; and by
this time, I ho{>e, thou hast her. Thou canst not
167
think what a peace I enjoy in the consideration
that thou art within reach of .Dr. Wesselhoeft. It
is by my feelings as to thee and Una, more than
on my own account, that I find I am a true be
liever in homeopathy.
Ownest, I love thee. \ love little Una dearly
too. Tell her so, and show her the place, and
give her a kiss for me.
THINE OWNEST HUSBAND.
Mrs. Sophia A. Hawthorne,
Care of Dr. N. Peabody,
Boston, Massachusetts.
168
TO MRS. HAWTHORNE
[Sa/em, March 15^, 1847]
Owncsf Phoebe^
Above is the note. I will not say how much
beyond all money I feel indebted to Mr. Shaw
for his kindness. It relieves my spirits from a
great burthen, and now I feel calm and very
happy.
I love thee infinitely, and need thee constantly.
I long to hear Una s voice. I find that I even
love Bundlebreech ! ! !
Ellery and I have a very pleasant time, and
take immense walks every afternoon, and sit up
talking till midnight. He eats like an Anaconda.
Thou didst never see such an appetite.
Thou dost not tell me when thou wilt turn thy
face homeward. Shouldst thou stay till next
week, I will come and escort thee home. Ellery,
I suppose, will go as soon as Saturday. (I shall
169
need some money to come with. Couldst thou
send me ten dollars ?) In haste, in depths of
love.
THY HUSBAND.
Mrs. iSophia A. Hawthorne,
Care of Dr. N. Peabody,
Boston, Massachusetts^
170
TO MRS. HAWTHORNE
March 2O th , 1847. Saturday
Owncst Wife,
Thy letter of Thursday did not reach me till
this morning. Ellery goes to-day much to my
satisfaction, though we have had a good time.
Thou dost not know how much I long to see thee
and our children. I never felt anything like it
before it is too much to write about.
I do not think I can come on Monday before
10 l / 2 , arriving in Boston at about i i. It is no
matter about the session at Johnson s; and if thou
chooses t to give him notice, so be it.
Now that the days are so long, would it not do
to leave Boston, on our return, at l / 2 past 4?
Kiss Una for me likewise Bundlebreech.
THY HUSBAND.
P.S. Of course, my coming on Monday must
be contingent on reasonably pleasant weather.
I shall probably go to Johnson s immediately
after my arrival before coming to West-street.
I hope he will be otherwise engaged.
Mrs. Sophia A. Hawthorne,
Care of Dr. N. Peabody,
Boston, Massachusetts.
172
TO MRS. HAWTHORNE
Salem, July 13 th , 1847
(huncsf Diocbc^
Greatly needed by me were thy two letters ; for
thou hadst never before been away from me so
long without writing. And thou art still busy,
every moment! I was in hopes thou wouldst
have a little quiet now, with Dora to take care of
the children; but that seems fated never more to
be thine. As for me, I sink down into bottomless
depths of quiet: never was such a quiet life as
mine is, in this voiceless house. Thank God, there
are echoes of voices in my heart, else I should die
of this marble silence. Yet I am happy, and,
dearest Phoebe, I wish that thou, likewise, couldst
now and then stand apart from thy lot, in the
same manner, and behold how fair it is. I think
we are very happy a truth that is not always so
evident to me, until I step aside from our daily
life. How I love thee! how I love our chil
dren! Can it be that we are really parents!
that two beautiful lives have gushed out of our
life! I am now most sensible of the wonder, and
the mystery, and the happiness.
Sweetest wife, I have nothing to tell thee. My
life goes on as regularly as our kitchen clock. It
has no events, and therefore can have no history.
Well ; when our children these two, and three
or four more are grown up, and married off, thou
wilt have a little leisure, and mayst paint that
Grecian picture that used to haunt thy fancy. But
then our grandchildren Una s children, and
Bundlebreech s, will be coming upon the stage.
In short, after a woman has become a mother, she
may find rest in Heaven, but nowhere else.
This pen is so horrible that it impedes my
thought. I cannot write any more with it.
Dearest, stay as long as it is good for the children
and thyself. I have great joy in thinking how
good it has been for Una to have this change.
When thou comest back to me, it will be as the
coming of an angel, and with a cherub in each
hand. Indeed, it does not require absence and
distance to make an angel of thee; but the divine
qualities of the children do become somewhat
more apparent, by occasionally getting beyond
the reach of their clamor.
I think I had better not come on Saturday ; but
if thou wilt tell me the day of thy return, I .will
come in the afternoon, and escgrt thee back. Poor
little Una! How will she bear to be caged up
here again. Give her a kiss for me, and tell her
I want to see her very much. I have been much
affected by a little shoe of hers, which I found on
the floor. Does Bundlebreech walk yet?
THINEST HUSBAND.,
Mrs. Sophia A. Hawthorne,
Care of Dr. N. Peabody,
Boston, Massachusetts.,
TO MRS. HAWTHORNE
^ Oct. 7<h, 1847
Otvnest Phoebe,
Thy letter has just come. I knew the day
would not pass over without one. Would that
my love could transform this ugly east wind into
the sweet south-westthen wouldst thou be full
of pleasant air and sunshine. I want to be near
thee, and rest thee.
Dearest, the things all arrived safe not having
suffered even the dollar s worth of damage to
which the man restricted himself. The carpet
shall not be put down till thou comest. There is
no need of it, except to save thee the trouble.
We are in hopes of getting an elderly woman
(Hannah Lord, whom I think thou hast heard of)
for a handmaiden, but this is not so certain as I
could wish. Our mother and Louisa repugn at
the idea of an Irish girl ; and there are scarcely any
others to be heard of. I should not wonder, after
176
all, if we had to seek one in Boston. The usual
price here is $1.25. I trust we shall be pro
vided by the time thou art ready to come; but if
otherwise, Mrs. Campbell is now well, and can
officiate for a few days,
Duyckinck writes me that the African Cruise has
come to a second edition. It is also to be pub
lished in a cheaper style, as one of the numbers of
a District School Library.
The * f eat her is so bad that I hope thou wilt not
have gone to Horn pond to-day. How different
these east winds are from anything that we felt in
Concord. Nevertheless, I feel relieved at having
left that place of many anxieties, and believe that
we shall pass a happy winter here. All that I need
is to have shelter, and clothes, and- daily bread,
for thee and Una, without the anguish of debt
pressing u|X)n me continually ; and then I would
not change places with the most fortunate person
in the world. What a foolish sentence that is!
As if I would change places, in our worst estate,
either with man or angel.
Phoebe, I think I had better not come for thee
till Monday, as the weather is so unpropitious for
thy visits. If that be too soon, tell me; for thou
hadst better calculate on not seeing Boston again
for some months; and, that being the case, it will
177
be advisable to act as if thou wast going to make
a voyage to Europe.
I find I shall love thee as thou never wast loved
before. God bless our little Una. She is our
daughter! What a miracle! I love mother and
child so much that I can put nothing into words.
I think I shall be diligent with my pen, in this
old chamber whence so many foolish stories have
gone forth to the world. I have already begun to
scribble something for Wiley & Putnam.
THINE OWNEST OWN HUSBAND.
Mrs. Sophia A. Hawthorne,
Care of Dr. N. Peabody,
Boston, Mass,
178
TO MRS. HAWTHORNE
Surveyor s Office, Salem, May 5< h , 1848
Ownest Phoebe,
I am altogether in favor of getting the six
chairs; as to the glass, I know not what to think.
In fact, I must leave ail other articles to thy judg
ment, and shall be satisfied, whatever thou dost.
We can dispense with the glass better than with
anything else. I rather covet the large marble-
top table; but perhaps the repairs would make it
otherwise than cheap.
Una behaves. (as thou wouldst affirm) like an
angel. We rode out to Lynn, yesterday after
noon, and had a long walk much to her delight.
I bathed her this morning; and I believe she has
not shown the slightest wilfulness or wayward
ness, since thy departure. We have very loving
times together.
I had a great mind to come to Boston, yestcr-
179
day, with Una, instead of alighting at Lynn. I
felt thy magnetism drawing me thither.
THINE OWNEST.
If thou canst get me a book or two, I shall be
glad. Kiss old Bundlebreech, and ask him if he
remembers me. If thou art very desirous of it,
thou mayst stay till Monday or, indeed, a week
or two longer or ten years, if thou thinkest pro
per. I seem already to have been solitary at least
so long.
Mrs. Sophia A. Hawthorne,
Carr of Dr. N. Peabody,
Boston, Mass.
180
TO MRS. HAWTHORNE
Surveyor s Office, [Salem,] June 19^, 1848
Only Belovcdesti
I received thy letter on Saturday evening, and
was more refreshed by it than if it had been a
draft of ice-water a rather inapt comparison, by
the way. Thou canst have no imagination how
lonely our house is. The rooms seem twice as
large as before and so awfully quiet! I wish,
sometime or other, thou wouldst let me take the
two children and go away for a few days, and
thou remain behind. Otherwise, thou canst have
no idea of what it is. I really am half afraid to
be alone, and feel shy about looking across the
dimly moon-lighted chamber. I expend a great
deal of sentiment as often as I chance to see any
garment of thine, in my rambles about the house,
or any of the children s playthings. And after
all, there is a strange bliss in being made sensible
181
of the happiness of my customary life, by this
blank interval.
Tell my little daughter Una that her dolly,
since her departure, has been blooming like a rose
such an intense bloom, indeed, that I rather
suspected her of making free with the brandy-
bottle. On taxing her with it, however, she
showed no signs of guilt or confusion; and I trust
it was owing merely to the hot weather. The
color has now subsided into quite a moderate tint,
and she looks splendidly at a proper distance;
though, on too close inspection, her skin appears
rather coarse not altogether unlike that of thy
good Aunt B. She has contracted an unfortu
nate habit of squinting; and her mouth, I am sorry
to say, is somewhat askew. I shall take her to
task on these matters, and hope to produce a re
formation. Should I fail, thou must take her in
hand. Give Una a kiss, and tell her I love her
dearly. The same to little Bundlebreech, who
has probably forgot "faver" by this time.
Dora complains terribly of lonesomeness, and
so does Aunty N. In short, we are pretty for
lorn. Nevertheless^ I have much joy in your all be
ing in the country, and hope thou wilt stay as
long as thou feelest it to be for the best. How I
love the children !r how I love thee, best of
182.
wives! and how I shall make thee feel it, when
thou comest home! Dost thou love me?
THINE OWNEST HUSBAND.
Mrs. Sophia A. Hawthorne,
Newton, Mass.
183
TO MRS. HAWTHORNE
^ June 27 th , 1848
Dearest Phoebe, when I saw thy thick letter,
last night, I could not imagine what might be its
contents, unless thou hadst sent a large package
of the precious roses, which I should have kissed
with great reverence and devotion. Thou wast
naughty not to do it. But the letter truly re
freshed my heart s thirst; and Una s also were
very delightful. What a queer epistle wa sthat
which she dictated! It seemed as if she were
writing from Paradise to comfort me on earth.
Dearest, I long for thee as thou dost for me.
My love has increased infinitely since the last time
we were separated. I can hardly bear to think of
thy staying away yet weeks longer. I think of
thee all the time. The other night, I dreamed
that I was at Newton, in a room with thee, and
with several other people; and thou tookst occa
sion to announce, that thou hadst now ceased to
be my wife, and hadst taken another husband.
: 184