madde voiages made of late yeares, both by sea and
b2
land — as the travell to Rome with the return in cer-
tain daies, the wild morrise to Norrige, the feUowes
going hach-rrard to Barwick.^ another hopping from
YorTce to London^ and the transforming of the top of
Paules into a stable. To these, and many more, ad
one more : what oddes with him now that will bring
yee to the place tchere your lost and long vnsht
friend Mounsier Money is within two houres ? me
thinkes yee smile now ; hut you would laugh if it
were so indeede. You thinke it not possible now,
you having searcht so diligentlie and are yet icithont
him ; but pluck up a good hart : hire hut this
hackney, and (vita pro vita) hee will bring yee to
the place for the prise of a peck of oates. "'TIS no
great charge : along with him, but pace him not too
fast for feare of stumbling. If ye? dislike this
voiage, returne to my stable againe ; if I horse yee
not for better profit, turne from a Gentile to a Jew
and spit at me. There has heene time and labor
(a little of both) to bring him to this
small groweth.
Vale : frustra nihil.
Your joy nt friend in
estate,
William Rowley.
A SEARCH FOR MONEY.
Come, my maisters, all you that will bee of this privie
search to finde this wandring knight, (Monsieur Money)
lay by your armes, and take your legges and follow me.
Nay, stay, stay ; come not so fast: I call not all those
that would find him, (there would be left then scarce so
many behinde as there was undrown'd at the deluge)
but some of those as are fittest and most at leisure to
search, as some score of idle souldiers : these are men
that are experienc'fc to walke the round, for walke yee
must resolve ere yee finde him : he shifts his lodging so
oft, or else he lyes so obscure, he wil hardly be spoke
with. Wei, I doubt not but yee will be painfull in the
quest, onely your censures which way first to begin as
the likelyest to finde the nearest way (being the very
nominative case first to finde the construction), and
then have with yee. Lets first question his descent. Is
it from earth (of our owne kindred) ? I would he were
not so neere to us in kindred, then sure he would be
neerer in kindnesse, and then we must conclude (com-
ming from earth) that thither he must returne, and
therefore is now on earth. There may a doubt arise
from hence, too ; for being here canonized, nay deified
b A SKAKCII VOH MONKV.
and made a God, (for thciein wo must needs confesse
our impure idolatry) it may be he has tane his glorious
Hight to heaven already. That cannot bee neither:
sure, Peter has bard the gates against him, for he that
would not sell heaven to Monie on earth, 'tis most likely
he will not sell heaven, now once possest of it. Think
ye then he hangs (like a dejected spirit) in the ayre ?
no, hee is too massie ; or if he were, we have Danaes
inough to bring him showring dovvne. In the fire
thinke yee? neither; I know them that have run through
fire and water too, and yet have not found him : the sea
is lunatique too, and mad folkes keepe no money ; he
would sinke if he were there. Is he damned by the
curses of the poore, and so gone to hell ? if hee bee,
weele rake hell but weele finde him : no, the Divell
builds (they say) to enlarge his kingdome. and builders
commonly are '.vithout money. Well then, ne must
return to our first proposition, that hee bides in his
first element, that's eai'th : conclude there to search for
him then ; set up the staffo which way to begin, and
convenimus omnes. 'Tis falne to the cittie : a hopefull
way at first. Enter the gates before there be any oppo-
sition. Have with yee.
Let us be carefull in our inquisition : omit no (halfe
suspected) place ; therefore let us enquire at the tailors
shop (for that stood next the gate) if the beloved
Mounsieur Money had not there taken up his lodging?
the braverie of the time makes a suspect, therefore
enquire of him. The motion was no sooner made to
two or three crosse-legd jorneyman, but they swore by
A SEARCH FOR MONEY. 7
the bread they then eate (and they seemed to relish
their oathes with a good stomacke too) that there hee
was not. There he should have beene indeed, and
many bills of authoritie they had sent foorth to fetch
him, but come hee would not, nor could they tell where
he lay. Well, on we goe. The next enquirie we made
at a painted lattice, having (as we supposd) some hope
there to finde him ; but alas, nihil ad propositum, as wee
found the sequell. We boldly (and officers like) enterd
the house, where we spyed a more lamentable spectacle
then Araintas mourning for his Phillis : an olde woman
(being the sicke minded hostess) dejected and throwne
into such a perplexitie, as you would have thought her
owne traiterous sighes would have blowne her up ; her
hand (like a despairing lover) boulstering her cheeke,
yet with a faint intergatorie, she askt us what wee
lackt? we tolde her Money. Shee, something gather-
ing her womanish spirits about her, told us hastily that
she had paid her brewer a month agoe, and that we did
her wrong to demand it. But upon our further and
well considerd replye, shee was satisfied that we came
about no such matter, onely to know if such a traveller
lay in her house ? Then with a sorrowfull shaking of
her head, her griefe was redoubled: Oh no, oh no, oh
no, thrise, as if shee would have conjured him thither
presently, and began to plant her face for a most pas-
sionate reply. You see this roome here ; I have others
well and thriftily furnished with houshold-stufFe, but in
this is containd my whole substance, which, ere we goe
any further, you shall heare describ'd.
8 A SEARCH FOR MONEY.
The battlements, which had been white and innocent,
were now sullied with uncapable caracters of (as I may
so terme it) candle-graphie: all the sides, both walles and
posts, showed like a firinaruent without a sunne, all full
of pale and sickly prodegies, which shee, with a heart as
colde as iEneas recounting the tale of Troy, in this man-
ner unfolded to us: — These longer sort (quoth she) which
stood like white streamers, are the least harmfuU por-
traiting, (as it were) but even penny-worths of mishaps:
these other derai-lunes or halfe moones, and with that
she vented another volley of sighes, which are thrise
double the mischiefe of the rest; but these round ones
(quoth shee) like full moones, (and indeed, not alto-
gether uneffectual) for then 'twas full sea, and the
water, stretcht a little beyond her bounds. From forth
the hollow caves of her eyes issued fountaines, which
walking downe the furrowed pathes of her face, and ven-
terouslie meaning (as it were) to passe the gulfe of her
mouth in quietnesse, bound her tongue for a certaine
space to peace, which afterward being releast, shee
went forwarde to tell us a strange metamorphosis, and
one indeede that Ovid had quite forgotten ; — how that
all her ale was transform'd into those fatall meteors
which was indeede ehalke : 'twas strange, but not so
strange as true. Money, sayes shee, was either fledde
or a sleepe, for he was not stirring. Shee added, with-
all, the report of her better fortunes ; how shee had a
swifter and more profitable mutation of her ale in
former time, how that first her ale was ale, and then it
was langtoe, and then it was ale againe. Wee were
A SEARCH FOR MONEY. 9
presently (at the hearing of this) importunate, to have
the morral of this misterie, what this langtoe was ?
Faith saith shee, the English phrase is a little too broad,
and comparisons are odious, else I would tell you by the
way of comparison ; but (a little corrupting the word)
shee would tell us by a simile ; for even as the salt-
sea-water being taken out of the sea and purg'd in the
clouds and ayre, yet at length returnes to sea againe,
and becomes perfect sea-water againe ; so ale, though
kept awhile in the clouds of the body, yet may againe
perfectly and providently returne to the fatte, and so
re-returne to the body, as yee may observe in the
course of things, how grasse turnes to hay, and the
seedes of haye make grasse againe. At this wee were
all rewmatique, and spit at the apprehension of it,
concluded and tolde her plainly, that we could not
pittie her, for we did imagine she had poison'd her
guests, and they in due revenge had chokt her. Sed
quid hoc ad nos P what's this to our purpose ? this is
the generall folly of the time, when we are once got
into an ale-house, we never finde the way out againe :
but on, on !
What if we enquir'd at the shoo- makers over the
way? wee did, but in vaine : the maister himselfe was
not within, and all the rest lay sicke of Mercuries boone,
(cruell Mercuric, to deale so with good fellowes,) yet
they were labouring their hides, and singing like carelesse
travellers coram latrone. As wee were but asking the
question, steps mee from over the way (overlistningus)a
news-search^:r, viz., a barbar : he, hoping to attaine some
10 A SEARCir FOR MO.VEY.
discourse for his next patient, left his banner of basons
swinging in the ayre, and closely eave-drops our confe-
rence. The saucie treble-tongu'd knave would insert
some-what of his knowledge: (treble-tongu'd I call him,
and thus I prove 't: hee has a reasonable mother-tongue,
his barber-surgions tongue, and a tongue betweene two
of his fingers, and from thence proceeds his wit, and
tis a snapping wit too.) Well sir, he (before he was
askt the question) told us that the wandring knight
sure was notfarre off; for on Saterday-night he was
faine to watch till morning to trim some of his fol-
lowers, and its morning they went away from him
betimes. Hee swore hee never clos'd his eyes till hee
came to church, and then he slept all sermon-time;
but certainly hee is not farre afore, and at yonder
taverne (showing us the bush) I doe imagine he has
tane a chamber.
We went somewhat hopefull now, having so faire a
likelihood. Thither wee came, whereat the entrie wee
heare a confused noise, (like a blacke sanctus, or a house
haunted with spirits), such hollowing, shouting, dauncing,
and clinking of pots, thatsure now wee suppos'd wee had
found, lor all this revelling could not be without Moun-
sieur Mony had beene on of the crew. We had the salute
(of Welcome gentlemen) presently: Wilt please ye see a
chamber? it was our pleasure (as we answered the apron-
man) to see, or be very neare the roome where all that
noise was. We were admitted, and usherd presently into
a neighbor chamber, where, by the joynt observance
both of our eyes and eares, wee might be aquainted who
A SEARCH FOR MONEY. 11
they were, whom when we had well overviewed : wee
might truely perceive there was no such man there as
Mounsieur Mony ; and that you may the better beleeve
us, weele describe the assembly. There was (to begin
with the worthiest) two or three of our own faculty
and familiar aquaintance, swaggering souldiers : a
paire (amongst many) of thred-bare poets, men that
want mony more then wit : four or five flag-falne plaiers,
poore harmlesse merrie knaves, that were now neither
lords nor ladies, but honestly wore their owne clothes
(if they were paid for) : amongst these were two or
three gun-makers, and they lookt like an almanack
dated in eighty- eight ; and toward the lower end of the
table, which indeed we could well distinguish by
neither bread nor salt, for there was neither, except
two or three small biskets, which (I dare say) nere a
souldier there durst venter to breake ; but by the con-
dition of the men we gest it so, (vTho Mere indeed a
noise of musitions) those that I have scene at the
tables side (for manners sake) scraping manibiis pedi-
busqiie, yet now admitted a place at table. And good
reason too at this time, (as you shall understand) the
reckoning was cald for, and within a while brought in.
A mist then (with two pipes of tobacco) was cast
before our eyes, but we perceived how it went : sixe
shillinges dropt from the consort at lower end, which,
God wot, they had that morning scrapt out at an em-
bassadors window. Little els was visible, onelie some
of them whispered the drawer in the eare (but hung
neere a Jewell in it) : he shooke his head and went
12 A SKAKCII I'DK MONKV.
away, three paries discontent yet faintlie j)ronounst,
Yee are welconae, gentlemen. Upon this the companie
departed.
Wee thought wee had staied too long, for wee might
sweare he that we sought for was not there. We sent
one backe to the barbar to tell him he was an asse to
gesse so like a foole, and on we travaile. We had not
measured three cinque-paces, but we met with one
that came a far greater pace towards us, and had now
reacht us — a gallant (as we tearme them) who (as we
afterwards understood) had narrowlie escaped the
hands of a shoulderclapper. We spur'd our question to
him, who pantingly, yet out of breath, swore, as God
judge him, he had not seene him this fort-night, but
seeke him and finde him hee must, or it would goe
worse with him. We requested his company : he
told us that way wee went he durst not returne, nor
did he tliinke hee lay that way, for the last time he
parted and shooke hands with him was in the suburbes,
and if thither we would walke with him, he would
bring us to the house where he left him. We, loath
to leese any hope, agreed, and went with him. He
brought us to a house where at the very entrance I did
distrust we were yet mistaken : there was but three
roomes, one crowning still the toppe of the other, and
little bigger then so many of Diogenes his tubs, where
two could scarcely be at once, but one must be on the
top of the other. Otlier countries (for they are com-
mon in all countries) call these mansions bordelloes,
or brothells ; but in our familliar phrase it is commonly
A SEARCH FOR MONEY. 13
called a house of iniquity, or some-time a subaudi
donms. Our conductor was but setting his foote over
the threshold, but he was repulst by head and shoulders
by an old Laplander and her mate, with a face like a
leane tripe unwasht; but behinde her stood trembling
two or three of Venus her nimphes, very prompt and
serviceable, Avhich the beldams stood garding like
the fire-spitting bulles that garded the Colchos fleece,
bellowing, roring and railing against our leader, that
hee had carried her best retainer, nay, her verie main-
tainer from her house, (Mounsieur Money) and unlesse
hee went and brought him along with him, hee should
have no entrance there ; and so doing, hee should be
as welcome as ever he was. Hee swore, as before hee
had done, that there he left him, and saw him not
since : she vied and revied othes to the contrary that
it was not so.
This matter could not be decided, till one of our
company (having before been familliar with one of the
nimphes) had privately enquired if hee were there
or no ? She had swore to him that hee had not beene
there since the tearme, and then that gentleman had
left him there. Marry, it was more then her old
patronesse knew of: shee kept him obscurely a while,
but not long, and from thence hee went to the doctors,
where shee thought hee yet was. Wee, considering
the circumstance, thought it not unlikely, and went to
pursue him this way. This was a good sent, and we
were loath to loose it. Well, towards the mountebank
doctor wee go, and at length there we arrive, where
14 A SKAHCH KOK M0NF:V.
we finde him turning over his stale bookes, and poring
in his prospective, some-times graveld in the gravell,
some-time sweating and chafing to find whether 'twere
a burning feaver or no. Him at his convenient leisure
we greeted, who very reverent and courteously re-
saluted us, thinking by our meagre lookes we had beene
some patients; but, alas, our disease was such as he
had no phisique to cure. We propounded our former
inquisition to know if such a gentleman lay not in his
house ? he presently tied his reverence to an oth that
there he was not: hee had deserv'd (hee sayd) to have
his companie, but could not obtaine it, and for his un-
kindnesse he wisht the pox or some other villanous
disease would catch him, and then hee should bee sure
of his company for a month or so (if not longer) till he
were recovered againe. Well, (after the ceremony of
departing) wee had our answere, and away wee went.
Wee had no sooner descended the staires, but at the
doore, wee examined a paire of porters, (men of great
carriage) yet having no such burdens lying on their
necks they both answered {una voce) that they were
now come out of the city, and had bin there to seeke him,
but could not finde him ; nor did they thinke that hee
was there, but rather that hee was ridde into the
countrie this hard yeare to buy wheate, and meant to
tnrne farmer.
This replie did on the suddaine astonish us which
M'ay to turne, but beeing now in the cittie, we con-
eluded {sit fas ant nefas) to end our enquirie there,
ere wee past it ; and at the instant (as wee were againe
A SEARCH FOR MONEY. 15
entring) we spied a streete on the left hand (the verie
hand that hell standes on,) all adorned like a most
famous infamous wardrope, for there were executed
and hung (some by the necke, some by the heeles)
many innocent garments, whose first owners themselves
were hung (most of them) on the other side of the
citty ; and now the garments (for their maisters crime)
suffered the second place of paine, and were there
tortur'd to bee purged in the ayre of some infections
that yet either run or crept upon them.
We did immagine that our lost Mounsier had been
there at the receit thereof, but sure he would not lodge
nor abide amongst such a tribe of Jewish brokers ; yet
having opportunity to aske, for then met us one that had
newly ransomed a long executed sute, and had of
purpose chose it to see if it could conduct him the
same way the former owner was gone, (for indeed he
meant to weare it to the proofe,) of him we askt who
might bee the patron and furnisher of this large
wardrope ? he answered us that the furnisher of that
place was as mad a hangman as any was about the
towne ; nay, there was none like him. His name was
Don Carnifexius Crackonecko Dericko, a rare fellow,
(for there was none such) and it was doubtful! whether
he were a magician or no, for he used to ride in the
ayre of Pacolets v, oodeu horse. Marrie, he was a clowne
in one thing, he never ridde with bridle, but a base
halter alwaies, and that was but to shew hee could
raine his mare without a bit : and a mare it was by
approbation, for shee cast many colts, and that was
If) A SKAkril |.-()|< MONEY'
vvitli his unmercifull backing of her so iieere her
teeming time. Nay, (saies hee) hee is a very Alex-
ander, for none but himselfe dares mount his Buce-
phalus, but is in daunger of death ere hee comes to the
ground ; nay, his owne servant (by credible report)
that had well broke and often managed her, for offering
to gett uppe the wrong way was throwne and broke
his neck.
This merry description made us leese a little time,
yet now wee were sated with this, (having other
businesse in hand) therefore we (sorae-what unman-
nerly) tooke his tale out of his mouth, and desired him
(for hasts sake) to tell us if such a lost gentleman as
wee sought might not bee found in that lane, [nodum
in scirpo querimus). Hee durst sweare, and did
sweare without any further premeditation, that there
hee could not possibly bee, for all that pendant trea-
sury' that wee saw, were but baites [to] allure him
thither, yet all and more not sufficient to bring him.
Therefore returne if yee be wise, you fall into the
ditch els, and enter the cittie againe, for if there hee
be not, he is a verie extravagant, and has no abiding.
This counsell wee once againe accepted, and againe
we enter the gates, where we found much serviceable
industry to intise the gentleman to this house and that
house, and indeede to everie house, but (that wee
could perceive) he entered into no house. The scri-
veners had drawne and hanged out very faire bonds
and indentures to lap him in, but we were very
doubtfull he would not be bound prentise (at these
A SEARCH FOR MONEY. 17
yeares) to them or any one : the milliners threw out
perfumes to catch him by the nose, and so (like a
beare) to lead him to the stake, sweete gloves to fit his
hand of what size soever, but they could not come to
take him by the handes : the drapers wondered that
having kept so many men before times, (and beeiug so
well able to keepe them too) that hee bought no new
liveries ; therefore they could not imagine, but that hee
had beene at dice and lost his revenewes, so broke and
was faine to live retired with himselfe and his page a
while, which was in our opinions a likely conjecture,
being himselfe so great a personage. Well, this ob-
scure place must we finde or els we returne (sine
frnctibus laborum) and openlie hee cannot bee, unlesse
hee stop his eares and will not, but hee must needs
heare proclamations for himselfe, as costermongers cry
out for him, oifering him good holsome windebreaking
pippins, russetings, apple-Johns, and divers sorts, al
which tempt him not; but could they bring along Eve
with the interdicted apple of damnation, it would
sooner be received at his adored hands. In like manner
cry out your fish-wives, oister-wives,. oringes, lemmans,
but none can penetrate his obdurate eares : so generall
is the cry, and indeed lamentation, to finde out this
concealed Mounsieur, as if Troy were now in her
present destruction ; yet must not wee (vvith the
Greekes) lay a straw there and go no further, but
[usque ( d inferos) till we finde him.
Upon the necke of this meditation wee fell upon a
yet more hopefull accident. Wee approached a post-
c
18 A SKAUril FOR MONKV.
garded dore beset round with many petitionary attend-
ants, that waited the turning of the key that yet stood
the wrong way, and was indeed the mansion or rather
kennell of a most dogged usurer, (so much wee gest)
and so it fell out, for those attendants, (with whom wee
joyned our obedient service) in the interrim while the
lockes were set at libertie, told us wee had happened
right if wee sought such a gentleman, for sure there
hee was by great presumptions, or els hee had no beeing.
Marrie, whether hee would be spoake withall or no, that
they could not tell, for (quoth one) the raaister of the
house is a man that loves that Mounsieur (you enquire
for) more then any man I know. Nay, to say the
truth, better then his child, his owne life ; nay, (I
should not lie to say) better then his soule, (if he have
any) and great reason therfore he should be where
he is so well beloved. Marrie, there is great doubt
of his concealing, for hee cannot abide him out of
his sight, unlesse perhaps some of his great friends
(and great they must bee, howsoever friends) chance to
request his company for a time to take viewe and pos-
session of a purchase, or to the erecting of some new
edifice, and then are they on the other part bound in
worse bondes and manacles then the Turkes galli-
slaves to bring him in at such a day, or they fall into
the devouring mercilesse jawes of prison, where no
man but Mounsieur INIoney can redeeme them, and
hee then will not come at them.
This description of him scarce finisht, but wee were
even readie to have eye-proofe of what wee had heard.
A SEARCH FOR MONEY. 19
We might now heare the tonguelesse staires tell us (by
force of an oppressive footing), that there was some-
bodie descending, which was better verified by a rew-
matique disposition of the descender, for (with small
interims) now and then we might hear on hawking
and vomiting the best part of his corruption, that was his
fleame ; for there was no part of him lesse harming
(yet that noisom eynough). Anon his gouty footman-
ship had reacht the dore, where after the quest of, who
was there, and our most humble answere, the locks
and bolts were set at liberty, and so much of the
dore was opened as we see the compasse of a baker's
purgatory or pillory, for even so showed his head forth
the dores ; but as ill a head in forme (and worse in
condition) then ever held a spout of lead in his mouth
at the corner of a church : an old moth-eaten cap
buttoned under his chinne, his visage (or vizard) like
the artificiail Jewe of Maltae's nose, the wormes, fearing
his bodie would have gone along with his soule, came
to take, and indeed had taken possession, where they
peept out still at certaine loope holes to see who came
neere their habitation ; upon which nose, two casements
were built, through which his eyes had a little ken of