us. The fore part of his doublet was greasie sattin,
stil to put him in minde of his patron Satan, the back
part eight penny canvas, a thing (worse than compari-
son) that loves not halfe himselfe : his heart made of
the palmes of foure felt makers hands ; his soule not so
bigge as an attome, and that's lung-growne to his
conscience, which conscience is the true forme of a
c2
20 A SKAKCII KOK MONKV.
hedge-hog that gards herself round with sharpe prickles,
that who so touches is in danger to bleed for it: his
Industrie is to maintaine his scalpe in a warme cap, his
stinking feete in socks, his nose in sacke, his guts in
capons, and his braines in mischiefe.
To this lumpe of iniquity, this living carrion, this
house-kept fox that's only preserved to stinke (and the
headach, which hee was not good for) wee (to show our
humillitie) bent ith' hamraes, and gave him the worshipp-
fuU salute : he receiv'd it, and grumblingly proceeded to
know what wee would with him ? wee, with a little smooth
preface, as being afraide at first to fright him with our em-
bassage, tolde him wee were men that had undertaken a
voyage, which, if wee return'd with the performance,
would trebble a wealthy estate for us all ; and on the
contrary, if wee fail'd in the enterprise, we were undone,
to give the banckrout's phrase (and the most common
forme of a tapsters head) broke, or like the olde gunne-
powder-house blowne up. All this appear'd to him (as
it was indeed) circumstance; therefore hee desired to
goe a nearer way to it, and show the very subject of
the matter. Faith, wee told him that we sought a wan-
dring conceald traveller, and that wee had receiv'd cer-
taine notice that he had taken up his lodging at his
house. This was pitch throwne upon burning toe, and
oyle upon that to quench it withall : that face tliat was
wilde-fire before, was now hell-fire, raging and boyling
as if the poore harmlesse wormes should then have suf-
fered torment : some flew out with feare, others were
murthred even in their cabbins, that the blood ranne
A SEARCH FOR MONEY. 21
about his guiltie nose with the very sudtlaine screwing
of his face ; yet after coller had procured a foaming
vent, he randed out these sentences — Money ? ven-
geance and hell so soone as Money I he will not bide
with raee ; he answers not my love with his company :
he has promis'd me increase, but hee returnes not him-
selfe. I have partchraent indeed, which is rotten
sheepe-skinnes, I have inke which is gall to me, I have
paper which is rags and trash, I have waxe, but no
honnie, no money, no money, no honney I I let him
forth a galley-slave to banckrouts, and now hee's sold
to the Turke or the Divell. I would I were with
him, wher-ever : I could hang my selfe to learne witte.
Had not he wit, thinke yee, that govern'd forty madde
folkes ? and he hangd himselfe. Why should not I ?
and you come, to keepe my torment in action, to en-
quire for him. I have bills, and bonds, and scroules,
and waxe, but no honnie, no honnie, no monie, no
money ! With that in a great rage hee clapt to the
doores, charg'd the locks to keepe the doores, and went
up the staires (I hope) to hang himselfe.
This was cold comfort still : wee were now no neerer
then when we first set forward ; all that we knew
by what was past was that wee knew many places
where he was not : many places wee seeke, but that
place was (as report sayes) the enchanted Hand : when
wee suppose wee are neare, it is still further off, that
now wee feared it would be Terra Incognita.
Tand moles erant Roraanam condere gentem.
Yet at length it was built, and why should we doubt
22 A SEARCH KOK MO.NEV.
then but at lengtli to accomplish our undertaken taske ? if
the Libian club-man had receiv'd (by his envious step-
mother) this, as his first labour (and tiie age in joj-nt
correspondencie Avith this,) he had never liv'd to num-
ber sucii a jurie of his wonders. Well then, let fame
pricke us on, that if we pursue and bring to good passe
this labour, it shall live upon our tonibes (so that wee
bury no treasure with us, and therefore be digg'd up
againe) while the brasse and stones can agree together.
We had now shifted our ground, and were come to
the Rialto, where wee hears round about us the confu-
sion of another Babell, ( for languages, I meane, not for
presumption) : at this place often arrives the newes
from many lands, amongst the which might be (as wee
hop'd) some tidings of our lost traveller. Faith, wee
by helpe of action and interpretation had quickly made
our inquisition knowne amongst them all ; but straight,
like honest men all agreeing in one tale, they returnd
this reply, that they had received no newes from any
countrey of such a traveller; more-over, added that all
their meeting and discourse was but to seeks and bring
home the man we mist, to further which they had sent
ships out to sea, that if thsy scap't the pirates, rocks,
flats, and other sea dangers, would no doubt in time
happily arrive in our coast. They confirm'd by another
reason, which indeed sounded more credibly then the
former : marry, it was tolde in private, and therefore I
am loth to be found a blab of my tongue. They laide
some, I, a great deale of blame on their wives, but (for
quietnesse sake) I would not have them know so much:
A SEARCH FOR MONKV. 23
they told us, that they themselves had often brought
many of JMounsieur Moneys followers home to their
houses with great hope (in the end) to attaine the com-
panie of his compleate selfe, but their wives (came he
never so privately) would finde him out, and then (dis-
daining any such inmates to lodge in their houses) sent
him out of doores ; and whether they went to conjurers
to performe it or no, they knew not, but straight he was
transforra'd into chaines, jewels, bracelets, tyres, ruffes
of the fashion, which still were no longer liv'd then a
wonder, nine days : then it was stale, and they must
have a new, and (for firms approbation of what wee say)
looke but on our wives, and you will say we have
tolde the truth, and w^e (to please them, and seeme gra-
tious in their eyes) must follow the fashion too. I know
not by what clause in lawe it is remoov'd, but the bur-
then that lay upon their bumms is now pla'st on our
shoulders : wee have verdingales to beare up our bands,
as they had to support their loose britches.
This we deliver to yee in private, and you may use
herein a friendly concealment: we promist what wee
have not now perform'd; so did we as long as wee
could, and that's as much as any man or woman can
doe. This was our answer, and wee were bound to
beleeve it. Well, then wee change our walke, and
from the Change we goe, where we had no sooner
regreeted the streetes, but we might behold a comely
troope of white headed senators, (such as sometime
adorn'd Romes Capitoll, when she swayed the world
in a single monarchy,) such as were habited to custome
and comlinesse, not to fancie and immitation, by whose
24 A si;akcii j'ok mcjne^'.
grave advise this cittio did support her name, which
else would quickly have turn'd into a wildernesse, like
flowers growing in the unbarbed field for want of due
polisliing tiirne wilde anl loose their sweetnesse. These
gardners, or guardians, of this tlieir little viceroyship,
were now approached us, wlioin (with a halfe amaz'd
hiimilitie) we .saluted, and reniembring the proverbe
(spare to speake, and spare to speed) went forward to
tliis milde inquisition.
Reverend, honorable, and worthy gentlemen, we are
poore petitioners to your patience, both for audience
and answer of one singular demand : {verbnm mollc
frangit iram,) though they might have punisht our
presumption, yet they give us leave to proceed, to
whom relating our aforesaid tasque, some part of the
paines we had alreadie taken, we as briefe (as we
could) let them understand our cause, and remain'd
still attendant on their answer, which we staide not
long for, but one voice answerd for all in this manner.
Truly, gentlemen, yee have undertaken a great
tasque, if yee have tyed your selves to the performance
of it, for here 'mongst us yee have certainly mist him,
(a hard case, and a mad world indeed, when all cora-
plaine for money) : and surely yee prosecute your
course farre contrary to the purpose ; for thinke yee
to catch fishe with an unbaited hooke, or take a
whale with a pursenet, then may yee retuourne with
a bare hooke, and an emptie purse. No, yee must
baite your angle if ye will come home loden. I
must needs confesse we have had, and have yet
sorne acquaintance with that gentleman yee seeke
A SEARCH FOR MONEY. 25
for, but he will not bide with us. I tell ye he is
a wilie fellow, not woone with good words, for then
would schollers have more nap on their gownes ; nor
M'ith valor, for then you would happily bee more happy
in his acquaintance ; nor with feature, for then so
many proper men should not want him; nor with
knockes, for then would fencers be more fluent, but
some aequivallent goodnesse, which is an equall balance
to him-selfe, or he wil not stir else. It seemes you
know not his company, that are no better acquainted
with his qualities : I tell yee, besides, that he is an
obstinat wilful! fellow, for since this idolatrous adora-
tion given to him here by men, he has kept the scepter
in his owne hand, and commands every man ; which
rebellious man now seeing (or rather indeed obedient
too him) inclines to all his bests, yields no subscription
nor will he be commanded by any other power. He is
besides a carelesse and ruinous defacer of all vertuous
and necessary antiquities: so him-selfe lie sleeping in
yron bard chests, what cares he what runs to desola-
tion ? if men undertake (as indeed we of late have
done) but some good and necessary peece of worke, as
the re-edifying of a decaied gate, built new places for
the profitable sweetnesse of the city, hee flies away (as
ye have perhaps sometimes noted) with more dexterity,
then a needy debptor hath fled the hands of any of
those our otticers. Therefore, truly, lette this confine
your answer, that amongst us he is not to be found,
only there are a few followers of his the better to direct
and guid yee in your determined travaile. With that
2() A SEAIUir V()\i MONEY.
we gratefully accepted some few of his attendants, and
they rid on.
We still prosecuted our now halfe hopelesse jour-
ney. From thence with few paces we had reacht
a faire and sumptuous streete, a place that if a
man had only liv'd to please his sight, he would con-
tinually have made that his horrizon ; or if every con-
jurer had such a prospective glasse of his owne, they
would never deale so much with the Divell as they doe.
Here lay plate, both gold and silver, jewels rich and
orient lay in heapes ; here only wanted that god (by
man created) Money. Here we made a dilligent in-
quirie, but straight were we turn'd with non est inven-
tus : all those (as they truly answered us) alluring
temptations were but to intreat the company of the
adored gentleman thether, which if we could procure
with full and perfect progresse wee might command al
we sawe, wee should be able to furnish with plate
Marke Antonies feast thrise trebled : marry, otherwise
Si nihil attuleris ibis, Homere, foras.
This, though it a little dismayed our present busines,
yet it spurd us on with a more fervent desire to seeke,
knowing what infinits followed having once attained his
respected worthiness witli us. We were now come to
the place where the records of all ages were kept since
the creation. There we turned over many leaves, but
few to our purpose : never was such a search made.
Many taught by quintessences and alcumisticall extracts
to make a new substance of this essence, but they were
most made beggars that undertooke it.
A SEARCH FOR MONEY. 27
This walke we had soon walkt through ; now wee
were entred the Temple : to finde him there we had not
such an unhallowed thought, for there the pillars were
hung with poore mens petitions, some walking there,
that if they praied as well as fasted, did very well and
sincerely ; nay, the very Temple it selfe (in bare humi-
lity) stood without his cap, and so had stood many
years : many good folkes had spoke for him because
he could not speake for himselfe, and somewhat had
been gathered in his behalfe, but not halfe enough to
supply his necessity. Here could be little hope to find
him that so much wanted him : we soone turnd our
backes on this place, and had as soone espied many
haberdashers that had felts of many fashions, but none
that would fit this foresaid bare-headed tall man : marry,
for Mounsieur Mony, if he came himselfe, (for so they
answered us at the enquiry after him) he should have
choise of any felts of what fashion or blocke it might
be his pleasure to weare.
Little comfort we felt by all this, but yet we must not
sound retreat : forward we go still, many hopeful! places
we passe, yet after our delivered message we were never
the neare. Many honorable gates we left unentred
and the houses unsearcht, because we wanted some of
the Mounsieurs kindred to open the admittance ; yet
we might heare of their complaint of defect, and
therefore could conclude of his non residence there.
At length we passe by that gracious and soveraingly
inhabited pallace, where by the dues of reason this
adored idoU should be a servile messenger ; and no doubt
28 A SEARCH FOR .MONEY.
he is, for there might we behold the princely messen-
gers from many several! countries guerdond and pre-
sented with heapes of treasure. But this runnagate
(whom folly and ignorance adore as they do stockes and
stones) could here have no place of authority nor abiding,
but as a mercinary bond-slave. Whether go we now ?
Faith, now have with you to Westminster : and what
to do there ? shall we take a chamber and rest our
selves a while ? no, nor buttry neither. Weele to the
hall first, thats certaine : well, away then, and take this
for a note by the way too, if ye here the tongues walke
apase the Mounsieur is there ; if not, al's a sleepe.
We have now with moderate paces attaind the
entrance. Lets not be unmannerly ; knocke first, or call
him by his name ; perhaps he will answer if he be there.
Ho ! Mounsieur Mony ! me thinkes I here him answer
like a sententious tapster, I cannot be here and there
too. Here was a busie house the while; such can-
vasing of cases, that our case could not yet be heard :
here were two brothers at buffets with angells in their
fists about the thatch that blew off his house into the
others garden, and so spoild a hartichoke : here two
neighbours together by the purses ; the good man
Nabuloes goose had laid an eg in good man Corridons
barne, and he pleaded possession and the trespasse of
the goose that had committed burglary to come in the
wrong way : this had bin long in sute, and yet was no
date to the end, onely it was thought the goose should
die fort and be shar'd betweene them : then one knave
was in sute for calling another by his owne name. So
A SEARCH FOR MONEY. 29
busie they were about these and many other such cases,
that we could get ne're an atturny to dcale for us, so
that at length we concluded to be our own heralds, and
proclaime our busines our selves. So choosing the
strongest voyce amongst us, began our outcry — K any
man (women there were none), child, towne or country
of what degree, quality, discretion, either wise or igno-
rant, or howsoever, in this place could tell tidings of a
wandring knight, cloth'd in armors of proofe of two
especiall coates, either in totall Argent or totall Aurum,
his horse trapt sometimes in leather, sometimes in velvet,
and somtime embrodery, let him bring certaine'notice
where he lives, either at liberty or in prison, and he shal
have for his paines a thousand duckegs. And this
causd a general silence over all the house: ther's never
an one, either atturney or clyent, that could tell what
to say till wee came to a more familiar examination.
And first we began with the clyents : they swore (as
I thinke without perjury they might) that hee was gone
from them. They came riding up with him at the be-
ginning of the Tearme, and that he did take the paines
to accompany us to the Hall, and here hee was ; but he
is now gon, and be slipt away from us, we know not
how. It may be he is yet amongst the crowd. If he
think you inquire for him to his indammagement,
perhaps hee will shroud himselfe from this discovery
(and yee cannot blame him neither to seek his safety).
If you could warily observe, I think you should find
him hid here-abouts. This safficeth for the poore
clients answer: we now addres our selves to others
.*{() A SEAKCII FOU MONKV.
where our message was stopt up in thc^ mid-way, with
non est nobis argentum. Wee have sent out executions
for his body, but he is not yet come in : some fragments
(wee must confesse) we have of his; marrie, for the
substantial!, angelicall, and most dearely beloved Moun-
sieur him-selfe, they had no aequainlance with him, nor
hee residence with tliem. This (contra voluntatcw)
must serve for an answer; necessity (being but a petti-
fogger) has no law, law hadde no eares. We had ne
bels, what shall we now doe ? Desistere victos ? No,
not yet; wee'U yet try further,
In adversis rebus melius sperare supersis.
Whither now? ther's yet a part of over-sea citty to
search? Shall wee a boord, and thither ere we see the
country? many different opinions were held amongst
our selves about this. Some said there was a beastly
buffeting about him already; fight dog, fight beare, the
uncharitable whipping of the blind, the old ape riding
post, lackied by the muzled dog, and the buls home-
mad to have his company ; but it could not bee. Some
said there were others that offered to suffer the Ger-
main strappado for his sake, and to daunce in the aire
upon a hempen cloud, nay, wonders (both masculine and
feminine) yet his presence will not be obtain'd. Some
others said it might be possible he was there, for there
were many hard handed men that laboured sore for
him, and they perhaps might attaine his worthinesse.
That was presently confuted by another, with this
objection, that there were too many caps used for felt
A SEARCH FOR MONEY. 31
makers to thrive ; that was Monmouth caps, Wantige
caps, round caps, Mother-red-caps, and fudling caps,
and none could (but bad church-wardens) beare the
bell away. All this (by the helpe of some more com-
forted spirits) could not dissmay us, but to sea-ward
wee goe, praying for a faire wind weather, and happy
successe ; but here was the fright before we came to
the water. Wee were no sooner come within the ken of
flood, but we were onset with such a company of Carons,
howling, hallowing, and calling for passengers, as if al
the hags in hel had bin imprisoned and begging at the
grate; fiends and furies that (God be thanked) could
vex the soule but not torment it ; yet indeed their most
power was over the body, for here an audatious mouth-
ing - randing - impudent - scuUery-wastecoat - and - bodied
rascal would have hail'd a penny from us for his sculler-
ship : an other paire of water-pandars would pul a
double fee for his (wh) oares, and we should ride like
gentlemen, (or rather almost empty hoshheads) a tilt
for it. But such hayling, howling and pulling there
was that wee durst not venter the flood, the wharfe
being so dangerous; and further questioning the con-
dition of the sea-monsters, 'twas told us they did but
howlingly sing for Mounsieur Monie that we sought
for: for us, the treacherous leviathans had not car'd
to have overwhelm'd us, had they once boorded us.
Well it was, that it was so : now, hey for the country
we had past.
We have passed the citty as good counsell passes the
eares of a negligent auditor, in at the one side and out
:i2 A sKAuni rou monkv.
at the other, and done no good within: he}' for the
country another while:
Quod non in Gallia forsitan in India.
Many dales we travaild, and many miles we mea-
sured ere we relish any place (having the citty still in
our eyes of apprehension) where we might enquire for
our departed friend and not be laught at for our
labours. We were many times in a wood, and indeed
seldome out, yet it may be this sir dealt like a lapwing
with us, and cryed furthest of the nest: though the
citty might promise faire show, yet in the country
might remaine his being. We, therefore, without fur-
ther question stept to a farmers house, where we
intended to use the authority of our inquisition. His
dog fii'st saluted us with a full mouth, which likewise
served for alarum bell to tell them within that one or
more was entred the gates ; upon which summons, the
goodman of the house came to the doore — a jolly
chufFe, a good formall russetcoate, and a reasonable
stature for a juryman. We were about to encounter
him at first sight with our busines, but were prevented
by his former salutes, for in a plaine couatry greeting
he invited us to drinke and eate with him such cates as
the house afforded. Good stomaches are soon invited :
we had scarce the maydes manners to say nay and take
it, but to take before we say nay. In we were brought,
where we had cates to please five several nations : we
had the Duchmans delight, butter and bacon : we might
have made tosts to our butter, and varied it to another
A SEARCH FOR MONEY. 33
place as proper. We had roots for the Frenchman, a
pippin pye for your Irishman, and a peece of cheese
for the Cambro-Brittane : al these differences each one
made a shift to draw to one head ; once we had small
beere which pleased no nation.
This matter being reasonable well canvassed we fell
to another discorse. The good man was, or would be if
he might (as was his owne phrase) so bold as to en-
quire whence we came and whither we would ? we
answered him we could resolve him whence we came ;
but whether we would we knew not, for that we had
undertaken a thing worse then the conquest of the
Indies, at which he shewed us his gums, and was very
pleasantly importunate to know what it was. Ifaith, as
we had made no bones of his meate, we did not of our
ruessage, told him such an one wee had long sought
and him wee must seeke till we find (usque ad necem) :
with all we requested to know if he had not alighted at
his house, for it was a generall report in tiie citty that
this hard yeare he had taken his leave of tiiem and
came into the country to buy corne. He premeditated
no reply, but told us briefely there he was not, nor
could it stand with reason why he should. No, no,
sayes he, hee never visits us in the country unlesse it
bee in some contagious pestilent time, when he is so in-
fected that we dare not receive him, and then he comes
downe. Marry, he lies without doers for his labor :
nay, he that will not see us in prosperity let him keepe
away in misery. Alacke, alacke I he now scorncs our
flock-beds : if we but meete with him at the market, we
D
34 A SEARCH FOR MONKV.
can scarce intreat his company home ; our great land-
lords bospake him with lofty rents, with fines, and
pretoes and I know not what. Deare yeares, quoth
ye ? tis not we that thrive by deare yeares : they are
deare to us ; our graine is in the usurers graner ere it be
growne : if we can keepe but the plowgh at the oxe
taile, and spare one to fat against Christmas, our care
is taken. Marry, for the gentleman you seeke for, he
is so seldome in sight with us, that he is almost out of
mind.
A Scilla in Charibdin: this geere went to worke,
(as rope makers do) backeward : what reply could we
make but a faint farwel ? what could now our medita-
tion be, but amazement? shall we yet proceed where
theirs no hope of conquest ? lets take the hardy
soldiers moteto, Dion spiro spero : wee yet breath,
though almost out of breath; therefore lets forward.
On wee goe, but still no midwife could be found to
deliver us of our travaile ; many dales labour we cut
of, but still (like Hidraes heads) more came in the
places, as weldly and invencible as the other. ^Vee
past by a tanners doore, and hee coufest liee had broke
the statute by antedating his hides, and taking the
leane lether from the fat before the time, and all for
the love of Mounsieur Mony, yet he could not winne
his company. Many tradesmen swore they had (like
knights of the post) foreswore them-selves, all for his
sake, and yet went without him. The tapster had
froth'd halfe way, but whether the Divell had let it out
a nights or no, he knew not, but he could not thrive by