them, the regular train, the hour of which
for starting was eleven, had been detained.
The party then took berths in the sleeping
car, and without change of cars passed
directly through to Washington, where
they arrived at the usual hour, half-past
six o'clock, on the morning of Saturday,
the 2dd. Mr. Lincoln wore no disguise
whatever, but journeyed in an ordinary
traveling dress.
Protection under the Constitution.
Among the incidents attending the op-
erations of the celebrated Mackerehdlle
Brigade, at or near the seat of war, is the
following, recounted by the historiogra-
pher-extraordinary of the corps, Mr.
Kerr. It seems that just at the moment
when the Conic Section was proceeding to
make a ^masterly movement," an aged
chap came dashing down from a First
Family country seat, near by, and says
he to the General of the Macke||l Brigade :
"I demand a guard for my premises
immediately. My wife," says he with
dignity,' " has just been making a custard
pie for the sick Confederacies in the hos-
pital, and as she has just set it out to cool
near where my little tx)y shot one of your
vandals this morning, she is afraid it
might be taken by your thieving mudsills
when they come after the body. I, there-
fore, demand a guard for my premises in
the name of the Constitution of our fore-
fathers."
Here Capt Bob Shorty stepped for-
ward, and says he:
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^ What does the Constitution saj about
custard pie, Mr. Davis?"
The aged chap spat at him, and says
he:
^ I claim protection under that clause
which refers to the pursuits of happiness.
Custard pies," says he reasoningly, " are
included in the pursuits of happiness."
" That's very true," says the General,
looking kindly over his fan at the venera-
ble petitioner. ^ Let a guard be detailed
to protect this good old man's premises.
We are fighting for the Constitution, not
against it."
A guard was detailed, with orders to
make no resistance if they were fired upon
occasionally jfrom the windows of the
house ; and then Captain Brown pushed
forward with what was left of Company
8, to engage the Confederacy on the edge
of Duck Lake, supported by the Ohmge
Comity Howitzers.
XTnaoQiiaintad with Politlos.
No small pains were taken by certain
partisan leaders, while General Grant was
at Vicksburg, to inveigle him into some
debate, or the expression of some definite
idea or opinion relative to the state of the
various political parties of the country,
and their professed tenets. The General,
however, was not thus to be drawn out
He had never attached himself to any
mere partizan organization, and all the
various political issues or questions were,
to him, entirely subordinate to the great
and single object of crushing the rebellion.
While operating in the vicinity of Vicks-
burg, his professed political firiends paid a
visit to his head-quarters, and after a short
time spent in compliments, they touched
upon the never-ending subject of politics.
One of the party was in the midst of a
very flowery speech, using all his rhetor-
ical powers to induce the Greneral, if pos-
sible, to view matters in the same light as
himself^ when he was suddenly stopped
by Grant.
^ There is no use of talking politics to
me. I know nothing about them, and,
furthermore, I do not know of any person
among my acquaintances who does. But,"
continued he, ^ there is one subject with
which I am perfectly acquainted ; talk of
that, and I am your man."
"What is that, General?" asked the
politicians, in great surprise.
" Tanning leather," was the reply.
The subject was immediately changed.
Beoaah Taminir.
War, like nearly every other sort of
human experience, has its comical side.
' Old Ben Butler's ' management of New
Orleans was " as good as a play," — a spice
of humor in it, a certain apt felicitousness
in turning the tables, calculated to make
even the victim smile while he yet winced.
It was the New Orleanaise who gave
the General his soubriquet of * Picayune
Butler ' — ^that being thfe well known ap-
pellative of the colored barber in the base-
ment of the St. Charles. The fourpence
ha'penny epithet of course implied how
very cheap they held the commander at
Ship Island. The Yankee General fetched
up at the St. Charles. 'Twas empty and
barred. Where was the landlord ? Off.
The house must be opened. Impossible.
It shall be forced. Well, here are the
keys. So the first thing was to show he
could keep a hotel
Next he sends word to the Mayor that
he must see him at his parlor. Back
comes word that His Honor does business
at the City Hall. Straight goes a per-
emptory message by an orderly, and Mayor
Monroe and a whole bevy of dignitaries
make their appearance, hats in hand. The
hotel-keeper is induced to draw it mild,
and arranges that the civil government of
the city shall remain in their hands on the
condition that all the police and sanitary
duties shall be faithfully performed.
For a little while matters go on
smoothly. But it soon became apparent
that the streets were neglected, as if on
purpose to invite Yellow Jack to come and
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THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION.
make short work of the ^ HessianB." A
sharp word goes Mm the St. Charles to
the City Hall to start the hoes, and, at
a jump, the hoes were started. But it
went against the grain. The aldermen
could not sleep o'nights. Yellow Jack
out of the question, they thought they
would try la belle France, So they passed
a resolution tendering the officers of the
French frigate Catinet the fireedom and
hospitalities of the city. Up comes
word from the St. Charles that this sort
of thing don't answer — ^that 'the free-
dom of a captured city by the captives
would merit letters patent for its novelty,
were there not doubts of its usefulness as
an invention, and that the tender of hospi-
talities by a government to which police
duties and sanitary regulations only are
intrusted is simply an invitation to the
calaboose or the sewer.'
The women next bridle up. They are
not content with leaving our quiet soldiers
to themselves, but must needs insult and
abuse them. The Greneral determines
that this unfeminine practice, so provoca-
tive of iU blood, shall stop. He proclaims
that all women guilty of it shall be treated
as disorderly women. Thereupon Mayor
Monroe steps again upon the scene, and
as ' chief magistrate of this city, chargea-
ble with its peace and dignity,' protests
against an order 'so extrtu)rdinary and
astonishing.' The immediate reply is that
' John T. Monroe, late Mayor of the city
of New Orleans, b relievcKi from all re-
sponsibility for the peace of the city, and
committed to Fort Jackson until flirther
orders.' Straightway the Mayor hurries
down to the St. Charles, and makes a writ-
ten retraction, to wit : ' This communica-
tion having been sent under a mistake of
fact, and being improper in language, I
desire to apologize for the same, and to
, withdraw it.' The retraction b accepted,
and the Mayor retires ; but on the next
day, having been taken to task by his
clique, he again presents himself, with
several backers, to get a modification of
the ' woman order,' or to take back his
apology. He receives for reply, that a
modification is impossible, and with it an
argujfnent from the good-natured General
showing its propriety and necessity. The
Mayor bows, convinced, and leaves. Two
days afterwards again he comes down with
his friends and insists upon having back
his apology. The General, being of a
yieldmg nature, politely hands it back, and,
at the same moment, gives an order com-
mitting the whole set to Fort Jackson, and
there they ruminated.
*
Bomantio Adventore of a Trninniwnn Loy^
alist.
Of a similar character for boldness and
intrepidity to Parson Brownlow, was
Hurst, the indomitable Unionist of Purdy,
Tennessee. On returning fit)m West Ten-
nessee, to make his periodical report of
himself — ^being under heavy bonds to the
rebel powers to do so— and stopping at
his home, he had no sooner entered his
J
Bomantlo AdTtntort.
house than he was told to fly for his life,
as a new accusation of being a traitor and
a spy had been made agamst him by a
malicious old rebel neighbor.
He had barely time to make an appoint-
ment with a bound boy, who loved him
more than he did his own frither, to brinj^
a &vorite horse — that somehow escaped
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the thieying confiscations of the rebels —
to the entrance of a certain alley in the
town. Scarcely had he made the arrange-
ment when a file of Confederate soldiers
was seen coming towards the house. He
slipped out at the back door, passed
throu^ a neighboring garden, and in a
minute more was walking composedly
down the principal street of the town.
His bold and unconcerned appearance
created quite a stir in the town. Men
whispered together, and winked and wag-
ged their heads significantly, and now and
then would dart off to give information to
the rebel guard, who were searching for
him. He knew his time was short, that
in a few minutes they would come in upon
him from all »des, and his chance for life
would not be worth a straw. He quick-
ened his pace a little, and suddenly entered
an apothecary's shop ; dozens of men
were watching him, and said —
** Now he is trapped ; hell be nabbed
as he comes ouf
Hurst walked quickly through into the
back room, and called the proprietor in
after him. The apothecary entered smil-
ingly, thinking, doubtless, of how soon he
should see his guest dancing upon nothing
in the air. The moment he had entered,
Hurst grasped him suddenly by the throat,
and placing a pistol at his ear, told him
that if he attempted to raise the slightest
alarm, and did not do exactly as he told
him, he would fire.
By this time a crowd had collected in
front of the shop, and as they could not
see what was passing in the back room,
tiiey waited until the guard should come
up to arrest him. Hurst now opened the
back door, and lookmg up the alley, he
saw the fiuthiul bound boy with the horse
standing partly concealed in the entrance
of the alley. He beckoned to the boy,
who quickly brought the horse to him.
He then turned to the trembling fellow,
and said —
^ Now, sir, in the spot where you stand,
the rifles of four of fliy faithM friends
are covering you — they are hid in places
that you least suspect, and if you move
within the next ten minutes they will fire ;
but if you remain perfectly quiet they will
not harm jouJ*
The apothecary had become so com-
pletely ^ frickened,' as the Irish would say,
by the touch of cold steel at his ears, that
he did not recognize at once the improba-
bility of Hurst's story. In an instant
more. Hurst had put spurs to his horse,
and dashed out of the alley, leaving the
terrified Apothecary gaping after him, and
the bound boy absolutely crying at his
master's danger, and in another instant
the rebel soldiers and the crowd entered
the store, rushed through the back room
and out at the back door, just in time to
see Hurst dashing out of the alley at ftill
speeds Horses without number were at
once in requisition, but Hurst distanced
them all. He soon joined the Union army,
and on its subsequent triumphant entry to
Nashville, Hurst was on hand with them,
naively remarking that he came so as to
^defend his bondsmen from any damage
they might suffer by his non-appearance^
and * report ' himself as he had agreed/ "
Them and Thain— not XT*.
One of the most interesting cases among
the rebel prisoners at Camp Denison, Ohio,
was a wounded youth, whose heart was evi-
dently busy doing poetic justice to the Yan-
kees he )iad been taught to hate, though he
still was anxious about Southern rights.
Fanoa Clayton talked to him for some tune
concerning religious matters, and the young
man at last broke in by saying, "We've
talked about religion long enough, now
let's talk politics." There was a peculiar
Southemism about his look and tone that
excited a smile all around. ** Well," re-
plied Mr. Clayton, **rm not much on pol-
itics; I'd rather not talk about them — tell
me how you felt when you were wounded*"
He did so:
^Thought it would be a sharp pain. Sir,
but it wasn't I was wounded in the legs,
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THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OP THE REBELLION.
and it was just like my being knocked off
my pins by a strong blow from a log of
wood. Fell flat on my belly, and my
knees drew themselves up under my chin.
Made sure I was dead, but thought it
didn't make much difference, for I saw our
men retreating, and knew that the Yan-
kees would get me and kill me sure ; al-
ways was told, Sir, the Yankees had horns.
Well, there I lay ; and up came a Colonel
leading his men — ^he was in front, Sir; he
jumped down from his horse, and ran to
me drawing something from his belt, so I
gave up ; but it wasn't a pistol. Sir," (and
here the boy's eyes moistened) "it was a
canteen! He put it to my lips, I drank.
He jumped on his horse again, and said,
* Charge, boys, they're fleeing!' Then
some soldiers on foot came toward me,
and I thought they're not all like that
officer, and I gave up again. But, Sir, they
said, * Comrade, get up.' They lifted me up
and said, * Put your arms around our necks,
and weUl lead you away from these bullets.
And these were the 'damned Yankees!'
I tell you, Sir, no man ever hugged his
sweetheart harder or more friendly than
I hugged those Yankees' necks."
After a few more remarks the youth
showed a determination to '' talk politics,"
and asked Mr. Clayton, " What are you
fighting us for?" Mr. Clayton calmly,
and in good humor, gave him his ideas of
the issue, and in ending asked him what
they were fighting for. "To hold prop-
erty. Sir," replied the youth, — ^ our slave
property." "How many slaves did you
have?" "None." "And you?" (to the
next). " None." He then went around to
all the thirty-four rebels, and but one was
found who had owned a slave. "Now,"
said Mr. Clayton, "where are the men
who have these slaves which thegr are so
afiuid of losing?" Here a man named
McLellan, who soon afterwards died, raised
himself up on his cot, and stretching out
his thin hand said, in a sepulchral voice,
"They are at home ei^jdng themselves,
and have sent us to die for them and
theirs." And to (his the echoes around
the room were, "That's so!" "That's
God's truth!"
Vloe-P resilient Hamltn a Private In Oom-
XMuiy A.
There was at Fort McClary, in Ports-
mouth harbor. New Hampshire, during
the dark days of the war, a soldier who
performed all the duties of a private in
the ranks and a guard, and was not even
clothed with the power of a fourth cor-
poral, — ^but who, in the event of the death
of President Lincoln, would at once have
become the commander-in-chief of the
army and navy of the United States.
And yet, with that necessary consciousness,
he was willing to place himself in the posi-
tion of a common soldier, share with them
in their messes, bear about his own tin
dipper, and reside in their barracks. This
was the position of the Hon. Hannibal
Hamlin, Vice-President of the United
States (and formerly Grovemor of Maine
and United States Senator), and private
in Company A, of the State Guard of
Bangor. Such may be said to be one of
the beauties of republicanism; but it re-
quires a sound-cored man thus to display
the most beautiful features of the sim-
plicity of our institutions.
OoL Polk, and Sanders, the Befticee.
Colonel William H. Polk, of Tennessee,
the well known scholar, politician and wit,
of Tennessee, had a plantation some forty
miles fit)m Nashville, lived comfortably,
had a joke for every one. and was, withal,
a resolute man in his opinions.
A few days before the arrival of the U. S.
army at Nashville, in 1862, and, indeed,
before he heard of the &11 of Fort Don-
elson, in going down the road from his
&rm, he descried a &t, ragged, bushy-head-
ed, tangled-mustached, dilapidated-looking
creature, (something like an Italian organ-
grinder in distress,) so disguised in mud
as to be scarcely recognizable. What was
his surprise, on a nearer approach, to see
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that it was the redoubtable George N.
Sanders.
George had met the enemy and he was
theirs — not in person, but in feeling. His
heart was lost, his breeches were ragged,
and his boots showed a set of &t, gouty
toes protruding from them. The better
part of him was gone, and gone a good
distance.
** In the name of God, Greorge, is that
jou?" said the ex-Congressman.
*'Me!" said the immortal George: "I
wish it wasn't; I wish I was anything but
ma But what is the news here — ^is there
any one running? They are all running
back there,'' pointing over his shoulder
with his thumb.
••No," said Mr. Polk, "not that I know
of. You needn't mind pulluig up the seat
of your pantaloons. I'm not noticing.
What m are you doing here, look-
ing like a muddy Lazarus in the painted
doth?"
« Bill," said George to the Tennesseean,
confidentially, and his tones would have
moved a heart of stone, " Bill, you always
was a fiiend of mine. I know*d you a
long while ago, and honored you— cuss
me if I didn't. I said you was a man
bound to rise. I told Jimmy Polk so;
me and Jimmy was famibar friends. I
intended to have got up a biographical
notice of you in the Democratic Review,
but that Corby stopped it I*m glad
to see you; I'll swear I am."
"Of coiirse, old fellow," said the chari-
table Tennesseean, more in pity of his
tones than even of the flattering eloquence ;
"but what is the matter?"
••Matter 1" said George; *»the d— d
lanoolnites have seized Bowling Green,
Fort Donelson, and have by this time ta^
ken Nashville. Why," continued he, in a
burst of confidence, ^'when I left, hacks
was worth $100 an hour, aiid, Polk, (in a
whisper,) 1 didn't have a cent"
The touching pathos of this last remark
was added to by the sincere vehemence
with which it was uttered, and the mute
ek)quence with which he lifted up a ragged
flap in the rear of his person that some
envious rail or briar had torn fix)m its
position of covering a glorious retreat
"Not a d d cent," repeated he;
^and, Polk, I walked that hard-hearted
town up and down, all day, with bomb-
shells dropping on the street at every
lamp-post — I'll swear I did — ^trying to
borrow some money; and, Polk, do you
think, there wasn't a scomidrel there would
lend anything, not even Harris, and he got
the money out of the banks, too!"
"No," interjected Polk, who dropped in
a word occasionally, as a sort of encourager.
"Bill," repeated Sanders, "Bill, I said
you was a friend of mine — and a talented
one — always said so. Bill. I didn't have
a red, and I've walked forty-five miles in
the last day, by the mile-stones, and I
havn't had anything to buy a bit to eat;
and," he added, with impassioned elo-
quence," what is a cussed sight worse, not
a single drop to drink."
This is complete. It is unnecessary to
tell how the gallant and clever I'eiuies-
seean took the wayfarer home, gave him
numerous, if not innumerable drinks, and
filled him with fruits of the gardens and
flesh of the flocks.
Unfikrtanate Absence at the Blege of Fort
Sumter.
On the news of the fall of Sumter, the
fires of patriotic enthusiasm were kindled
throughout all the loyal States. In one of
the small towns of Western Pennsylvania
the excitement became intense — patriotic
speeches were made, companies for the war
speedily formed, etc, etc It was at this
time, when the public excitement was at
its height, that there was a flag-raising at
a school-house two miles from A ^ the
orator of the occasion being a young col-
legiate, fresh from his Alma Mater. After
the speech had been made a sheet of fools-
cap was produced, and twelve big, noble-
looking fellows walked boldly up and en-
rolled their names among the brave de-
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THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OP THE REBELLION.
fenders of their country. Ab eadi man
put his name upon the paper he was
greeted hj three lusty cheers and the
rolling of the drum. Finally, when the
twelve recruits had taken their seats, and
no one seemed to manifest any inclination
of following their example of enlisting, a
young man was called upon to speak. He
was a strong, dashing, dark-eyed youth,
and evidently much excited. He seemed
determined, however, to acquit himself
with applause, and he spread out accord-
ingly.
Af^er stating numerous, and, as he ur-
ged, strong reasons for not going to the
war himself— that ' he couldn't leave his
business' — 'would go if they couldn't get
along without him' — ^'if he found it to
be his duty,' etc, he waxed warm. He
glowed in his overflowing patriotism, and
having depicted in flaming colors the out-
rage practiced on our flag by the rebels,
he closed his impressive speech with, in
effect, the following:
Xdmnnd RuiBn.
"Gentlemen! do you know what Td
have done had I been down there when
that glorious flag was torn by these trait-
ors from its lofty height? I would have
snatched it jfrom their bloody hands — I
would have mounted the flag-staff — and,
regardless of the hail of bullets that might
have stormed around me, I would have
naikd it there — ayl with my own hands
would I have nailed it there! and have-
have— gentlemen — desired it to remain!**
The absence of this patriotic orator at the
siege of Sumter must, of course, have
been the cause of its unfortunate surren-
der. Edmund Ruffin, the hoary traitor,
who fired the first shot at Sumter, should
have had a clinch at that tonguy and soft-
pated orator. The odds would have been
of little account, which of the two went
down.
♦
AppUoatloa of the Term '^Oontrabeiid*' by
General Bntler.
The rebel Colonel Mallory had the mis-
fortime to lose some of his * servants,' who
used their legs to convey themselves fix)m
the custody of their master. Though a
traitor to his country, CoL M. had the
audacity to go with a flag of truce to Por-
tress Monroe and demand of his old polit-
ical friend, Butler, the delivering up of
said escaped servants, under the Fugitive
Slave Law.
"You hold. Colonel Mallory, do you
not," said General Butler, "that negro
slaves are property ; and that Virginia is
no longer a part of the United States."
"I do, Sir."
"You are a lawyer, Sir," Gen. Butler
replied, "and I ask you, if you claim that
the Fugitive Slave Act of the United
States is binding in a foreign . nation?
And if a foreign nation uses this kind of
property to destroy the lives and property
of citizens of the United States, if that
species of property ought not to be re-
garded as contraband^**
Such was the origin of the term con-
traband, as applied to fugitive slaves, and
its acceptance became at once universaL
"Newport News.'*
The operations of the two great armies,
from time to time, at "Newport News
Point," have given that place quite a
celebrity in military annals, and its peca-
liar name has given rise to much curiositj
as to how it could have originated. In
reference to this, it appears that the early
colony on James river was at one time
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reduced to a straightened condition, and
some of its members started down the
James river, with the intention of pro-
ceeding to England. They reached the
bend in the river which has since become
an object of so much interest, and paused
for some days. When they were about
to set sail, they saw a ship coming up the
roads, bearing the British eosign. They
delayel till it should arrive. It proved
to be Lord Newport's ship, with his lord-
ship on board, who brought the intelli-
gence that the ship which the colony had
long before dispatdied to England for sup-
plies, and which was many months over-
due, was near at hand, bringing much
needed relief. Meantime, his lordship
distributed provisions among the colonists,
who, from these circumstances, named the
pbce ** Newport News," on account of the
good tidings which his lordship brought
to them.
Tigen and Treason.
Colonel Boemstein, a Grerman com-
mander at the West, became somewhat
noted for his logical method of dealing
with traitors. While holding possession