man's way, remarked, was " significant " —
and requested our wife and us to come up.
We went up. There was the President
at the head of the stairs waiting to receive
us. He was dressed like a gentleman, and
his head was uncovered. ''I thank you
for your visit," said Mr. Lincoln to us, and
thereupon we introduced our wife. , The
President conducted Mrs. Delta into Mrs.
Lincoln's apartments, where the two ladies
talked together for an hour or two ; but
the President himself returned instantly,
and, with a countenance full of meaning,
asked thoughtfully, "How do you do
again ?" We replied, that we were " very
well, we thank you. How are you, in
these perilous times, yourself, Mr. Presi-
dent?" said we to Mr. Lincoln. He an-
swered, with a slight addition of language,
" I am 'very well' too." Then, in almost
the very words of Napoleon to the Irish-
man, Mr. Lincoln spoke : " Tell me, Mr.
Delta, tell me, how is Louisiana, and how
does she stand?" We, to show our own
knowledge of the royal language of the
great Frenchman, answered in aJmost the
words of Pat ; we answered — ^ She is as
poor a distressed country as ever you have
seen, for the rebels are hanging men and
women wherever they are seen."
The President laughed, but became
grave in a moment. " I thank you," said
he to us ; "I thank you for sending two
able men to Congress. I thank you for
defeating Mr. Jacob Barker. Who is
Lee Percy? Is he not a Virginian?"
We answered all these questions with
our usual felicity, and then gave the*
President some very useful hints in regard
to the culture of the turnip— a vegetable.
He seemed greatly interested and instruct-
ed. From turnips, we naturally fell upon
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the culture of cotton and sugar cane. We
enlightened him upon these subjects, too;
for he was as polite as to say to us, ^^I
assure you, Mr. Delta, I am getting wiser
every moment.*'
The cotton question led us on to the
war, and upon this we talked an hour, the
President being silent nearly all the time.
We gave * the Executive of the United
States ' to understand the status of Louis-
iana. We told him what we thought of
men and things in J^ew Orleans, and we
condemned the arrest and incarceration
of Soule. The President, now, in his dry
way, said :
"Mr. Delta, there is danger, if you
keep on in this mood, of your getting into
Fort Lafeyette/'
We laughed immoderately ; but the
President was grave and seemed weary ;
and finding him in .right good humor, we
asked him if he had heard our great con-
undrum, which was known in New Orleans
as the Delta conundrum. He said he had
not Thereupon we told him. "Why,"
said we to the President, " Why are green-
backs like the Jews?" Mr. Lincoln
smiled, crossed his legs, and smiled again.
" I give it up," said he. We then roared,
but having recovered our gravity, gave
the answer. " Because," said we, laugh-
ing again, for the joke was our best, " Be-
cause they are the issues of Father Abra-
ham, waiting for a redeemer." The Pres-
ident shook his sides, and remarked, " I
owe you- one, and here it is. You remind
me of a cow in Dlinois:" and here Mr.
Stanton entered. The President excused
himself, and said he must withdraw. We
called Mrs. Delta, and we took our depart-
ure. Subsequently, the butler told us
what transpired between the President
and the Secretary of War :
"Who is that lean cur at Butler's heels,
he has been boreing me these three days
back about the management of the army
of the Gulf?" inquired Mr. Stanton.
" He is not a cur," replied Mr. Lincoln ;
"you are too severe, Stanton ; he is only a
bur. Some one flung him at Butler, in
sport, and the fellow has the faculty of
sticking."
Our wife, who was present during ihe
relation of this, observed, in her woman's
way, " The gentlemen were, darling Delta,
sarcastic" We said " no, that they were
simply indulging in a little humor, to re-
lieve themselves, for a moment, from the
austere thoughts of war." " If that was
all," said she to us, " I'm glad they've hon-
ored you by making you the but of their
joke."
»
What One Noble Woman Did.
Mrs. Eliza Gray Fisher, a lady of Bos-
ton, Mass., going on in yeare to the allot-
ted period of life, deserves to have a
record made of her patriotic enthusiasm
and industry. Knowing from experience
the necessities of the volunteer soldier, —
having lost a grandfather in the Revolu-
tionary war, and a father in the war of
1812, — determined, immediately upon
President Lincoln's call for volunteers, to
provide a complete outfit of under-chtking
for an entire company. This, notwith-
standing the severe pressure of domestic
duties, with the aid of several ladies in
Rev. Dr. Dewey's society, she accom-
plished seasonably and in the most satis-
factory manner. The articles — all of the
best materials and most thorough work-
manship — were as follows : 130 shirts, 130
pairs of drawers, ISO towels, 130 pocket
handkerchiefs, 130 pairs of socks, 12 hos-
pital gowns, 55 bags containing needles,
pins, thread, &C., 65 Havelock caps, 500
yards bandages. Such women are of the
true Revolutionary stock, — all honor to
them.
MOk, with AooompanimentB.
Hopeville Gap will long be remembered,
particularly by those two clever corporals,
Lutten and Hodges, who figured so neatly
in the little a£^r which appears in the
following narration. The said corporals
were on duty near a house in the vicbi^
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of the said classic Gap. They were
nearly out of provisions. Fortune, how-
ever, threw in their way early one morn-
ing, a cow, and the lacteal fluid had too
many temptations for them to resist the
desire to milk the animal. While Lutten
held the cow by the horns, Hodges manip-
ulated the udders in the usual rural style.
He had filled one tin cup and was rapidly
filling another, when a chamber window
HIIkiDg the Cow.
in the house was smartly raised, and a
woman with a voice pitched at least one
octave higher than they had been accus-
tomed to hear from that sex, indulged in
the following language.
Q. — What on airth are ye doin tkar/
No answer fh)m the men at the cow.
Q. — Milking my cow, eh ? What ails
you ? what in the world is the matter on
ye— are ye starving f Ain't ye ashamed
of yourselves ?
Receiving still no response from the
men at the cow, who continued their labors
with the sang Jraid that only troopers can
assume, madame became considerably ^ex-
asperated,' and continued her harrangue
as follows :
"There is four of you Yankees laying
up there on the hill, with their souls in heU
Think of that!''
This eliciting no response, she con-
tinued:
" And you may be there too in less than
an hour ? Think of that ! "
No response — Hodges bUindly continu-
ing his operations at the udder —
" And I hope you will, and when you
are drinking that milk. Think of that!''
No response at all, and the woman * let
on:'
"What are you Yankees all doing here,
any way ? "
The corporals having filled their pint
cups, Hodges deigned to answer the last
question by saying :
" To protect you and maintain the honor
of the glorious old flag 1 "
The reply brought upon them a tirade
of billingsgate that made the atmosphere
almost blue, amid which the troopers re-
treated to their camp. To " Dunn Browne,"
one of the most pleasing and accomplished,
as well as widely read war correspondents,
we find the above amusing morceau attri-
buted, and would be glad to find more of
the same side-shaking pencillings, which
gave him so wide and enviable a repute
previous to his lamentable decease. .
Braxidy for a CUck Identenaat.
No pen could draw a more vivid and
life-like picture of the scenes of the war,
than that of the Bev. A. H. Quint, one
of the most efficient chaplains and military
co-laborers in the army of the Union, hon-
oring, in every sense of the word, as he
did, the Old Bay State that sought his
services and sent him forth. His deeply
interesting work, recounting his army ex-
periences, has passed through many edi-
tions. He knew the coolness, bravery,
and withal the ingenuity which character-
ized the soldiers of the Union,.and of which
so many anecdotes are told, — like the fol-
lowing:
One night Lieutenant Clark, Lieuten-
ant Soule, and Captain Wilson, of the
First regiment, were very dry.
A most stringent order against the intro-
duction of any ardent into camp being
then most rigorously executed, they had
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THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION.
been discussing the ways and means of
procuring something, " hot," when Soule
cried out, " I've got it ! You, Clark, are
very sick — ^you must go to bed — ^you have
got cramps — ^you must be covered up— you
must have some brandy immediately!''
Li a moment Clark was very sick abed,
covered with all the blankets at command,
and Soule was off in breathless haste to
the hospital steward for brandy. There he
met the conscientious objections of the stew-
ard, by the most earnest representations of
the urgency of the case. He could wait for
no surgeon's order — Lieut. Clark might die !
In a moment he was again with the *^ boys,"
flourishing a bottle of brandy in the air in
triumph, and a right jolly time they had
drinking it. But — shade of Bacchus ! —
what was one bottle to them after a fort-
night's total abstinence ? They were still
dry— of course they were ! Before the
bottle was quite empty, Soule snatched it
out of the hands of Clark', held it up to
the light, eyeing it critically, took one
more swig, and then said, " Now, boys, for
another bottle!" Raising the window
curtain, it was but the work of a moment
to cfitch a hundred flies and put them in
the bottle, to be drowned by the small
amount of brandy remaining. Rushing,
back to the hospital steward in as breath-
less haste as before — ^this time holding up
the bottle containing a spoonful of brandy
and an equal amount of flies — he cried out,
" See there ! Is that the kind of brandy
you dispense to a sick man here ?" With
as many apologies as Soule would wait to
listen to, the poor steward handed him an-
other bottle of brandy, with which he
returned to his comrades. The noise
which soon issued from Lieutenant Clark's
"sick" quarters attracted attention, and a
good many other ofiicers took a taste of
the second bottle, with a hearty guffaw.
Tonffh Time with a Xnla.
In repartee and fun American soldiers
are never behind any class of men, and
their i^predation of the ludicrous and sar-
castic is as keen as a briar. Mr. Chap-
man, one of the most gifled of the numer-
ous army correspondents of the press, in
1864, stated that he was riding from
Brandy Station to Stevensburg, in com-
pany with Colonel A., of the Michigan
regiment, and had reached a point
opposite General P.'s head-quarters, when
they were overtaken by a couple of sol-
diers mounted on two decidedly un-Rarey-
fied mules. The boys had evidently been
up to the sutlw's, for they were a trifle
top-heavy, and only kept their places by
dint of the most persevering industry. At
that point the road crosses a considerable
creek, which the mules seemed to hold in
strong aversion. Nevertheless, through
the persuasive eloquence of two ragged
sticks, they were urged on to the middle
of the stream, and then they doggedly re-
fused to advance. The boys plied all the
expedients at hand, but it was " no go,"
and when at length one of them caught
the tail of the other's mule in his hand
and attempted to twist a forward move-
ment out of him, the refractory animal
reared, whirled to one side, kicked and
snorted, and, depositing his rider in the
dirty creek, he started on a keen run
back. Zouave gathered himself up, and
seeing that he could not overtake his
frightened steed, he only foUowed with sun-
dry expletives and execrations, not found in
the Westminster Catechism. Colonel A.,
by the way, being a very pious man, took
it upon himself to chide the exasperated
and unfortunate " vet " for using such un-
christianlike language; but the soldier
would have his joke— so, shaking what
water he could out of his red pants, he
waded to a dry spot on shore and mut-
tered, gratingly, that it was " — hard if
a feller couldn't cuss a mule." But soon
appreciating the utter ludicrousness of his
condition, he turned to the Colonel and
offered to lay a bet that that was the first
time he ever saw a mule tear, (muleteer)
shed. It was some time before either the
Colonel or Chapman was able to see
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the pungencj of the challenge, but it
come to them after awhile, and it helped
amazingly to dry up the mud between
there and Strasburg.
Sergeant Davia's Tender BeefL
In March, 1862, Greneral Banks ad-
vanced upon Winchester in two columns
—one by way of Martinsburg, and !li3
other by way of Harper's Ferry and Ber-
ryville. In the latter column, Brigadier-
General Abercrombie commanded the
first brigade, and Cothran's Battery was
with him. Abercrombie was very strict,
not allowing his men to forage, or to bum
rails to cook with, but compelling them to
bum green timber. The next morning,
after camping near Berryville, he ix)de
Tcnd.r Beef.
around the different camps to ascertain
who had burned the rails. When he rode
through Cothran's Battery, the Captain
was in his tent Approaching it he dis-
covered the quarters of a fine young beef
that the men had " foraged " the night pre-
vious, lying against a tree. The old Gen-
eral's brow contracted as he demanded of
Sergeant Leander E. Davis,
" Where the — , did you get that beef?
I gave the commissary no order to issue
fresh beef here."
Davis, who was a very polite soldier^
removed his cap and saluted the General,
and said, in a tone, evincing perfect cool-
ness and sincerity :
" General, I was sergeant of the guard
last night, and about ten o'clock I heard a
terriWe commotion in the camp of the
Twelfth Massachusetts, (Colonel Web-
ster's regiment,) across the road. I
rushed out to see what was going on, and
just as I passed the Captain's tent I saw
a fine steer coming through the camp of
the Twelfth Massachusetts, with about a
hundred men after it The animal ap-
peared very much frightened. General,
and trae as you live, it jumped clear
across the road, [about two ix)d«,] over
both stone fences, and as it alighted in this
lot it stmck its head against this tree, and,
being so terribly scared, its head, hide
and legs, kept right on running, whil**
the quarters dropped down here, where
they have remained ever since. It is very
fine, tender beef. General, and I had just
come here for the purpose of cutting off
and sending you a fine sirloin roast for
dinner. WiU you be so obliging as to ac-
cept it ? **
" How long have you been a soldier ? "
demanded the old General.
"About six months. General."
" Well, Sir, I perceive that you thor-
oughly appreciate the Art of War, and
have become a veteran in half a year.
Were you a green soldier I should order
you under arrest and have you court-mar-
tialed; but on account of your veteran
proclivities I shall recommend you for
promotion!" And putting spurs to his
horse he rode away, shaking his sides with
laughter.
Cotton Burners in Lonlaiana.
The cotton burners came, they saw,
they departed, — at least in one instance.
"I have come to bum your cotton.
Sir."
" By what authority ? "
* " By the authority of General Beaure-
gard."
" You will not bum my cotton."
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" We mil burn your cotton." ] run without it Colonel Williams grew
" Go about it, then. But it is my opin- [ angry, probably sur peeting him of Union
ion, gentlemen, that you will not bum it" i sentiments and of wishing to delay the
"What do you propose to do? You train, cursed him rather roundly, and
don't mean to say that you will show any at length told him he should run it under
opposition to our authority ? " | guard, adding to the guard already on the
"I sunplymean to say that you will engine: "If any accident occurs^ shoot
not bum my cotton. Bob, bring a coal the cursed Yankee." Little was a North-
em man. Upon the threat thus enforced,
the en^eer seemed to yield, and pre-
of fire.'
The fire is brought
" Gentlemen, there is the fire, and yon- pared to start the train. As if having
der are one hundred bales of cotton. ' forgotten an important matter, he said
Proceed." ' hastily, " Oh, I must have eome oil," and
" Your conduct is very extraordinary, ' stepping down off the locomotive, walked
Sir. I should like to know what you toward the engine-house. When he was
mean?' * about twenty yards from the cars, the
" Well, Sir, I mean that if you attempt guard thought of their duty, and one of
to bum that cotton I wiU scatter your them followed Litde, and called upon him
brains so far and wide that no power in to halt; but in a moment he was behind
heaven or earth can bring them together the machine shop, and off in the dense
again. (Here, boys ! that cotton is yours ; ' woods, in the deep darkness. The com-
defend it or starve.") ^^^^"^^ ^^ brought the Colonel and a
« strange conduct," mutters Mr. ' crowd, and, while they were cursmg each
Officer, sullenly; "We'll attend to your , ^^her all around, the fireman and most of
case, Sir. We are going down the river
we will give you a visit on our return."
the brakemen slipped off, and here we
were with no means of getting ahead.
ers.
Buxmin^ an •B^Tlg^T^A in the Ckmibderata Ser-
vice.
"Do. Whenever you make up your All this time I had stood on the engine,
mmd to bum my cotton, by aU means ra^^^r enjoying the melee, but taking no
come and bum." P*^ ^ ^^ when Colonel Williams, turning
The cowed officer and his posse "feU ^"^e, said:
back in good order." The valiant Louis- j " ^^^ '^<>t y<>" ^^ ^he engine ? "
ianian saved his cotton. He had no se- "^^^ ^ir," I replied.
cond vi^it fix)m Beauregard's cotton bum- "You have been on it, as you came
down."
" Yes, Sir, as a matter of curio ity."
" Don't you know how to start and stop
her?"
The popular author of " Thirteen " Yes, that is easy enough ; but if any
Months in the Rebel Army," one of the thmg should be wrong I could not adjust
most readable of books, must be alio .ved it"
to tell his own story about < that engine,' i "No difference, no difference. Sir; I
and here it is : must be at Bowling Green to-morrow, and
The engineer, Charles Little, refused you must put us through."
to run the train on during the night, as he " Colonel Williams" said I, calmly look-
was not well acquainted with the road, ing him in the eye, " I can not voluntarily
and thought it dangerous. In addition* take the responsibility of managing a
the head-light of the locomotive being out tram with a thousand men aboard, nor
of order, and the oil frozen, he could not will I be forced to do it under a guard
make it bum, and he could not possibly . who know npthiug about an engine, and
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455
who would be as likely to shoot me for
doing my duty as failing to do it ; but if
you will find among the men a fireman,
and send away this guard, and come your-
self on the locomotive, I will do the best
lean."
And now commenced my apprenticeship
to rumiing a secession railroad train, with
rebel regiment on board. The engine be-
haved admirably, and I began to feel
quite safe, for she obeyed every command
I gave her, as if she acknowledged me
her right^l lord.
I could not but be startled at the posi-
tion in which I was placed, holding in my
hand the lives of more than a thousand
men, running a train of twenty-five cars
over a road I had never seen, running
without a headlight, and the road so dark
that I could only see a rod or two ahead,
and, to crown all, knowing almost nothing
of the business. Of course I ran slowly,
about ten miles an hour, and never took
my hand off the throttle, or my eye fix)m
the road. The Colonel at length grew
confident, and almost confidential, and did
roost of the talkmg, as I had no time for
conversation.
When we had run about thirty miles,
and every thing was going well. Colonel
Williams concluded to walk back, on the
top of the box cars, to a passenger car which
was attached to the rear of the train, and
occupied by the officers. This somewhat
hazardous move he commenced just as we
struck a stretch of trestle-work which car-
ried the road over a gorge of some fifty
feet deep. As the locomotive reached the
end of the trestle-work the grade rose a
little, and I could see through or in a deep
cut, which the road run into, an obstruc-
tion. What it was, or how for ahead, I
had almost no conception ; but, quick as
thought, — and thought is as quick as light-
ning in such circumstances — ^I whistled for
the brakes, shut off the steam, and await-
ed the collision. I would have reversed
the engine, but a fear that a reversal of
its action would crowd up the cars on the
trestle work, and throw them into the
gorge below, forbade, nor was there wis-
dom in jumping off, as the steep embank-
ment on either side would prevent escape
froTU the wreck of the cars when the co'-
lision came. All this was decided in nn
instant of time, and I calmly awaited the
shock which I saw was unavoidable.
Though the speed, which was very moder-
ate before, was considerably diminished,
in the fifty yards between the obstacle and
the head of the train, I saw that we
would certainly run into the rear of an-
other train, which was the obstruction I
had seen.
The first car struck was loaded with
hay and grain. My engine literally split
it in two, throwing the hay right and left,
and scattering the grain like chaff. The
next car, loaded with horses, was in like
manner torn to pieces, and the horses
piled upon the sides of the road. The
third car, loaded with tents and camp
equipage, seemed to present greater re-
sistance, as the locomotive only reached it,
and came to a stand still.
My emotions during these moments
were most peculiar. I watched the re-
morseless pressure of the engine with al-
. most admiration. It appeared to be de-
liberate, and resolute, and insatiable. The
shock was not great, the advance seemed
I very slow ; but it plowed on through car
after car with a steady and resistless
course which suggested at that critical mo-
ment a vast and determined living agent.
When motion ceased, I knew my time of
trial was near; for if Colonel Williams
had not been thrown fit)m the top of the
cars into the gorge below, he would soon
be forward to execute his threat, — to shoot
me if any accident occiured. I stepped
out of the cab on the railing runnmg
along to the smokestack, so as to be out
of view to any one coming forward toward
the engine, and yet to have him in the
ftill light of the lantern which hung in the
cab. Exactly as T had surmised— for I
had seen a specimen of his temper and
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THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION.
recklessness, — he came stamping and curs-
iug; and jumping from the car to the
tender, he drew a pistol, and cried oat,
<' Where is that cursed engineer, that
did this pretty job ? I'll shoot him the
minute I lay my eyes upon him."
I threw up my six shooter so that the
light of the lantern shone upon it, where
he could see but indistinctly, if at all, and
said with deliberation,
" Colonel Williams, if you raise your
pistol, you are a dead man ; don't stir, but
listen to me. I have done just what any
man must have done under the circum-
stances. I stopped the train as soon as
possible, and I'll convince you of it, if you
are a responsible man; but not another
word of shooting, or you go down."
" Don't shoot, don't shoot ! " he cried.
" Put up your pistol, and so will I," I
replied.
He did so, and came forward, and I ex-
plained the impossibility of seeing the
train sooner, as I had no head light ; and
they had carelessly neglected to leave a
light on the rear of the other train. I
advised the choleric Colonel to go forward
and expend his wrath and curses on the
conductor of the forward train, that had
stopped in such a place, and sent out no
signal man in the rear, nor even left a red
light. He acknowledged that I was right.