THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION.
How to Spike a Oiin.
A characteristic incident is related of
Captain George T. Hebard, formerly a
private in Company A., of the Chicago
Light Infantry^ and subsequently com-
mander of the First Vermont Battery,
which participated in the hard contested
battle near Grand Encore. During the
progress of the bloody engagement, Major
General Banks rode up and said, energet-
ically : " Captain Hebard, your battery will
probably be taken; spike your guns!'
As the General rode off, the Captam ad-
dressed the men, saying : " Not by a â€”
sight ! This battery isn't to be taken nor
spiked. Give them double canister,
boys!" The battery was charged upon
terribly three times after that; the last
time, they thought they woulcl wait until
the enemy had approached quite near,
when they let fly a storm of deadly grape
and canister, literally killing every man
within range of the guns. The battery
brought off every gun and caisson, show-
ing that to be the best way of " spiking "
â€” unless the General himself knew of a
Bpedmank of Ninth CtorxNi Diaoipline.
While Brigadier-General Robert Pot-
ter, commanding the Ninth Corps, in East
Tennessee, was once riding along with his
orderly, he saw a man running with some-
thing, in his hand, followed by a woman
crying out after him. Stopping him, he
found he had stolen some article, and asked
him his corps. " Ninth Corps." " Very
well," said the General ; and he instructed
his orderly to tie him up to a tree, and
give him a smart strapping with a stirrup-
strap. Amid his howls it came out that
he belonged to the Fourth Corps. " Very
well," said the General; ^I am ottn-
mander of the Ninth Corps ; if you belong
to it, all rightrâ€” if not, you'll know how
we treat feUows that steal in the Ninth
That Dinner at Oenoral Holt's.
A Senator from the Western States
was invited one day in the midst of war
times, by the Judge Advocate-General,
Mr. Holt, to dine at the latter's house in
Washington, and accepted the invitation
in due form. Having been up late at a
whist party, he was reminded next morn-
ing by a ftiend that he was to dine that
day with Mr. Holt, in company with other
civilians and military characters. He ar-
ranged his toilet accordingly, was shaved
by one of the barbers at the Capitol, and
proceeded at the proper hour, after the
Senate adjourned, to General Holt's resi-
dence, there to partake of the General's
viands, and to discuss, with kindred dig-
nitaries, "the situation." He rang the
bell, was shown into a pai-lor with no fire,
and was soon joined by General Holt,
After conversing some time, General Holt
suggested that they would be more com-
fortable in an adjohung apartment, where
a flre was burning in the grate. Here
they sat, one upon each side of the fire-
place, and talked, and talked, and talked !
The Senator kept up the fire of con-
versation briskly for an hour or so, and his
host responded as briskly. But at last
the talk began to flag. Greneral Holt
was evidently tired of the task of en-
tertaining the Senator, and the latter
began to be very hungry. The conversa-
tion became rather fragmentary, then mo'
nosyllabic, and finally died out altogether,
the Senator meanwhile wondering what in
the deuce was the matter with General
Holt's cook. The General looked at his
watch once or twice, and asking to be ex-
cused a moment while he delivered an or-
der, left the room. " High time you hur-
ried up your kitchen forces!" thought
the Senator, who having eaten a light
breakfast, and no lunch, had long before
'*Beg:im to feel, m well be mi^t,
The keen demaodf of appetite."
Greneral Holt re-entered, and made an
attempt to renew the conversation, with
RATIONS, CURRENCY, ORDNANCE, MAILS, ETC.
but partial success. At latjt a carriage
arrived at the door and the General took
out his watch and remarked, apologetical-
ly, that he had a business call to make,
and beg^ng therefore to be excused, ad-
ding â€” ^ I shall have the honor of seeing
you cU dinner to-morrow, of course ? "
A light flashed instantaneously upon
the mind of the Senator ; he was a day
before " the feir ! ** He declined the cour-
teously proffered seat in General Holt's
carriage, and, as soon as out of the house,
he rushed for the nearest restaurant in a
famished state. It was ten o'clock!
Next day he attended the dinner, and
somepf the party having got an inkling
of his unhappy blunder, he was induced
to tell the story at table, which he did
with such effect that the " table was set in
a roar " with " inextinguishable laughter,"
which was repeated more than once after-
ward, â€” wherever the Senator related, in
his inimitable way, the funny circum-
stances of his dining out. The war ' sit-
uation,* unfortuately, was not discussed
with that gravity and profit to the nation
which would otherwise have been thÂ§ case,
on accoimt of this senatorial yauxj^cu.
TTxuroooaMftil Search for Inf ormatkui at
A good story is told of a curious fellow
enjoying considerable popularity in a cer-
tain town in New York, and upon the bar
sis of such popularity, he conceived it emi-
nently proper that he should be informed
of the plans for the spring campaign in
the conduct of the various military ope-
rations. So he called on the Secretary of
War, and, in his largest style of assur-
ance, asked, in the blandest manner, what
Grant was going to da For final answer
<<I don't know; and if I did, it wouldn't
be my business to tell you."
Surely, thought the politician, these
official^ are very short and snappish. A
day or two afterward he met General
Halleck, with whom he had a slight ac-
quaintance, at Willard's, and asked him if
Grant meant to move direct upon Rich-
mond, or would he take the Peninsula
route, as some of the papers asserted.
** Yes, I think so," confidently answered
Halleck. Mr. Politician pricked up his
ears for an instant, but soOn said â€”
"Ah â€¢ did you say he was going straight
down, or by the Peninsula ! "
Â« Oh! "said General Halleck, " I don't
His next effort was at the President, on
the occasion of a levee at the White
House. Standing familiarly at his right
in the blue room, he pleasantly remarked :
"I suppose, Mr. Lincoln, you expect
stirring times over here on the Rapidan,
in a week or two ? "
"Possibly," answered the President.
" Possibly ! " echoed the New Yorker.
" I don't know much about it," replied
the President, " but I heard to-day that
General Grant meant to take Richmond
from the Charleston side."
The fellow withdrew. There was, how-
ever, yet one source more. Representa-
tive Washbume ought to know all about
itâ€” jdead sure. He, therefore, caught
Washbume in the House, early in the
morning, before it was called to order, and
said to him â€”
" Can you tell me if I will be likely to
find General Grant over on the Rapidan,
say early week after next, if I go over
there with my Congressman ? "
" Can't tell you. Sir," answered Wash-
bume, "General Grant didn't tell me
what he was going to do, or where he was
going to be, at any given time."
The New Yorker concluded that things
were in a very, very bad way, because no
one knew what Grant was about nor what
he was going to da
ViaAtttanm of a Ck)ttan Qpeonlator.
No sympathy was felt for the cottcm
speculators in New Orleans, who swarmed
there during the rebellion, and when one
of them was fleeced it seemed to be amat-
THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION*
ter of rejoicing among both parties â€” Fed-
erals as well as rebs. Something of this
sort happened to a citizen of that city â€”
one of those neutral individuals who were
always on the fence, ready to jump on
either s!de which policy might dictate to
be for their interest for the time being.
He â€” Brown â€” left New Orleans, on one
occasion, bound for the Confederate lines,
with the intention of investing what
money he had in cotton. Just before
starting, he met a friend in the street, with
whom, after exchanging the usual com-
mon place remarks, he entered into the
following conversation :
**What are you up to now. Brown ? "
" Oh, Fve just made a good thing ; been
into the G)nfederacy and bought out thirty
bales of Cotton. Bound up again to-mor-
row, and if nothing happens I'll bring back
four times that quantity."
" Be careful. Brown, or you'll get gob-
bled up. They'll have you in the rebel
" Oh, no fear of that They all know
me to be a good Confederate. Besides,
I've got British papers."
A month later the two fiiends ifet.
Brown looking decidedly downcast and
seedy. Wallace accosted him with â€”
" Well, Brown, how about that cotton? "
<< Don't talk to me about cotton. Lost
Â« Well, you see, I got up to Bayou Sara
the same night the rebels made their raid
into the place. I had plenty of time to
escape, same as a good many others did,
but I thought I was all right, and so with
a friend sat down to a game of poker,
just to show that we didn't feel at all
alarmed. Presently in came some rebs,
and began to search us. On my partner
they found a lot of Confederate money,
and they wanted to know what right he
had in the Federal lines with Confederate
money ? So they just took it. Of course
I was convinced now that / was all right
â€” my money was all greenbcu^. * What
are you doing in the Confederacy with
Federal money?* they asked. And they
took mine too ! "
â€¢*That was rough. Is that all they
done to you ? "
"All! No, sir; they stripped me of
everything, and one strappmg big fellow
gave me such a spirited kick, while my
back was turned, as to take me off my
feet, accompanied with the remark all
round that if they ever caught me in the
Confederacy again with so little money,
they'd hang me, if they wouldn't ! "
Woman's Triala and Txitunpbs.
The wife of an officer in the army, liv-
ing in Williamson county, Illinois, received
fix)m her husband a package contaming
seven hundred dollars, a portion of which
belonged to the families of soldiers living
in that vicinity. A few days after the
reception of the money there came a sick
soldier to the house of the officer's wife,
and asked permission to remain over night.
The woman refused, but the soldier insist-
ing, she finally consented. During the
night the family was aroused by the vio*
lent knocking of parties outside, who de-
manded the door to be opened, and if not
opened they would break it down, â€” ^that
the officer's wife had a lot of money and
they were bound to have it. The woman
was terrified, and giving the money to the
soldier inside, secreted herself and her
children, when the soldier exclaimed in a
voice loud enough to be heard by the vil-
lains outside, "I am unarmed, but if I had
a pistol I would ^ the villains." The
door was then bursted open, and the men,
disguised as negroes, entered the hou^-e.
Five shots were instantly fired at them,
killing three of the party and wounding
another ; the remainder fled. The black-
ing having been removed fix>ra the faces
of the dead, they were discovered to be
the woman's nearest neighborsâ€” one of
them her brother-in-law.
RATIONS, COBBENCT, OBDNANCE, MAILS, ETC.
An Honor to her Sex.
A lady appeared before a Federal Pro-
vost-Marshal in Tennessee, as an applicant
for pecuniary assistance. She was evi-
dently a lady * to the manor bom,' with a
chirography that would have done credit
to any one, and her language was entirely
free fix)m that peculiarity of dialect so
characteristic of the region from which
she hailed. The case stood as follows :
Provost Mai*shal â€” You are an applicant
Lady â€” Yes, sir.
Provost â€” Where is your husband ?
Lady â€” He is dead, sir.
Provost â€” When did he die ?
Ladyâ€” Li 1859.
Provost â€” Have you a plantation ?
Lady â€” Yes, sir, four hundred acres.
Provost â€” Where are your slaves ?
Lady â€” We had but four ; one of them
is a decrepit, old woman, and is now with
me. The remainder were carried off by
Bragg's army, to keep them from falling
into the hands of the Union troops.
Provost â€” ^Were they carried away by
your consent ?
Lady â€” They were not.
Provost â€” Have you any objection to
taking the oath of allegiance.
Lady â€” ^I have not ; I have always con-
sistently opposed secession. I did so in
the presence of Bragg's army, even more
loudly than I oppose it now.
This case shows that the chaff in that
section was not unmixed with wheat.
AUBbottng Appeal to a Union Oommiesary.
The distress produced in some portions
of Kentucky and Tennessee by the seces-
sion heresy almost exceeded description.
At Bridgeport might frequently have been
seen a crowd of females around the United
States Commissary, applicants for relief.
They were in many instances wretched
creatures. Of forty-seven females present
on one occasion, only three possessed any
money to make purchases ; the remainder
were all pensioners upon the bounty of the
much despised Federal Government. Of
course the whole throng had first to apply
to the Provost-Marshal, and when the
proper hour had arrived they were ush-
ered into his tent, one by one, to relate
AfEectiDg Appeal to a Union CommlsBaiy.
then* sufferings and the causes which had
brought them to dis^ess. They were all
new applicants, the old ones getting sup-
plies at regular intervals, without the in-
tervention of the Provost-Marshal. The
first whose fortune it was to be called, on
this occasion, was a Mrs. Ricard. The
Marshal asked her â€”
" Are you a widow ? **
" No, sir."
" Where is your husband ? "
" With Bragg, in the Thud Tennessee
" Your husband is in the rebel army ;
when did he join it ? "
" Two years since."
**Did he volunteer?"
" Yes, to keep from being conscripted."
"But the rebel conscription law was
not then in force."
" But they told him that it would soon
be, and he had better volunteer."
** Was he not a strong secessionist from
"Yes; he thought you wanted to de-
prive us of our rights, and take all our
THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION.
" How many slaves did he own ? "
" Had he a plantation ? "
" What property had he ?"
" Nothing ; he lived by days' worft."
" Why, then, was he so fearful about
the slaves ? **
" Because he was afraid the North would
put the niggers on an equality with us."
^ Your husband is in the rebd army, and
you ask us to supply you with bread.
Why do you do this ? "
Mrs. Ricard threw aside the fly of the
tent and just outside stood five small chil-
dren, who had but a single article of cloth-
ing â€” a light, home-spun cotton wrapper â€”
on each, though the wind was blowing
chilly cold from the north. " They have
not had a mouthful since yesterday morn-
ing," said Mrs. R., "and not half enough
for six months." The appeal was irresist-
ible â€” ^the Provost-Marshal told her he
would administer the oath and get her
From a Palaoe to the Attia
As an example of the financial inflation
caused by the war and a redundant cur-
rency, the following is not at all an ex-
aggeration : An ex-mayor of New York,
who lived in an elegant residence and in
sumptuous style, *was visited one day by
two ladies, who asked permission to look
at his house, stating that the house next
door was for sale, but the occupants would
not allow them to view it His Honor
courteously informed them that the houses
in that block were exactly alike, and they
might examine his house as fully as they
pleased. On leaving, one of the ladies
said to him, "I suppose you would not sell
your house ?" " Oh, yes," said His Honor,
^ m sell an3rthing but my wife and chil-
dren." That afl^noon he received a note
from a leading real estate house, asking
him if he would sell his house, and at what
price. He ottered it at thirty thousand
dollars. The oflfer was taken at onoe.
The papers were passed and the money,
paid that night. The next day the house
was sold for forty thousand dollars. Two
or three things in this trau^action made
His Honor a little unquiet Hip ofiered
his house ten thousand dollars less than
his next door neighbor asked. He had to
abandon his comfortable and luxurious
home instanter. He was literally turned
into the street Somebody made ten thou-
sand dollars out of him. Getting a fash-
ionable residence at any reasonable price
was out of the question. Nothing re-
mained for him but the overcrowded Fifth
Avenue Hotel, where, with his &mily, in
an attic story, he was at last accounts
waiting for something to turn up.
Cord for Oordâ€” Seoesslon Ouxrenoy.
Quite a 'good un' is told of a steamboat
Captain who stopped with his boat at a
wood yard, coming down the river, and
who thought to try the pretended loyalty
of the owner of the yard by an offer of
Confederate money, of which the boat had
a good supply.
" Will you take Confederate money for
your wood ? " shouted the Captain, to the
man on shore.
" Yes," was the laconic reply.
The boat hauled to, was made fisist,
and a stage thrown out, when it occurred
to the Captain to inquire about the rate he
was to pay.
" What do you ask for wood now ? " he
"What kind of money did you say you
would pay in ? " inquired the wood vender.
" Well, then, I want card far card/*'
Prâ€” it of a TnrkVF to General Bedcwiok.
A woman came into the head-quarters
of the Virginia army, frx)m the coimtry,
and going to General Sedgwick, who was
sitting en dishahHk on the steps of a
boose, inquired for the Greneral, saying
she had brought him a turkey, because he
had sent a guard to her house to protect
RATIONS, CUBRENCT, ORDNANCE, MAILS, ETCÂ«
her property. "Won't you sell me the
turkey?" said tlie General, "I will pay
you well for it." " No," replied the wo-
man, " I have' brought it for the General,
and no one else can have it." ^he discus-
sion wad kept up some time, till finally the
General pointed out an officer in full uni-
form, saying, " There, go give it to him."
She immediately went and delivered the
turkey to the ofiicer, who took it in amaze-
ment, while she gave utterance to some
voluble thanks. Some of the b3rstanders,
who had heard the whole matter, subse-
quently illumined the woman's conceptions,
and she came up to the General, blushing
and apologizing â€” expressing her regret<^
that she had given the turkey to the wrong
person. The matter was rectified, very
much to her satisfaction.
Grant's Oliijeotion to having any Trade-Part-
Quite a characteristic anecdote is told
of General Grant, relative to his refusal
to engage in or authorize any movements
for the reopening of trade with the rebel-
lious States. On one occasion, especially,
after his protests and orders suppressing
such trafiic, he was eagerly entreated by
the agents of the Treasury Department to
authorize some system of trade. For a
long time he refused, for the reason that
he could not successfi^lly conduct his mili-
tary operations while such persons were
moving around him; but at last he con-
ceded that a certain amount of trade m
the recaptured districts of the South would
be safe, proper, and even highly useful to
the Union â€” ^provided it could be conducted
through honest, unimpeachable Union
hands. He was asked to name the per-
sons to whom he would be willing to
intrust such trafiic :
" I will do no such thing," was Grant's
reply; "for if I did, it would appear in
less than a week that I was a partner of
every one of the perscms trading under
Instances oi the General's unbending
integrity might be given in suflScient num-
ber to fill a volume. They will be found
amply and admirably displayed in that
excellently prepared work, " Grant and
his Campaigns," which exceeds in thrilling
interest any similar works in which Napo-
leon or Wellington are the central heroes.
Balanoe of Power maintained between
Turkeys and Chickens.
A company of the â€” th cavalry of vol-
unteers (no matter what State,) were out
on a forage, with the usual orders to re-
spect the enemy's property. But coming
upon a plantation where chickens and
turkeys were dallying in the sunshine,
tired of pork and plaster pies, alias hard
tack, gave the boys leave to club over as
many of the " two-legged things in feath-
ers," as they could conveniently come at.
The result was that a good number were
dispatched, and, tied together by the legs,
were slung over the pommel of the saddle
of " Benny," an old sabreuvy who had fi'on-.
tiered it for years, been in more Indian
fights than you could shake a stick at, and
could tell, if he wanted to, of some high-
old-hard times with those same Mdewa-
kantonwar, Wahpekute, Ihanktonwannas,
and Minnikanyewazhipu, red-skinned
friends. Returning to camp, as ill luck
would have it, they met the Colonel of
their regiment riding out to a neighboring
camp. Just before they met him, in fact
when they were nearly up to him, for a
curve of the road had hid him from sight
until then, the officer in command rode by
Benny with the command : " it now,
why don't you sling those chickens the
other side your saddle? The Colonel
will see them hanging that way." " Can't
be done I got fourteen turkeys there on a
balance!" By remarkably good fortune
the Colonel did not see the chickens, so
they and the turkeys were safely smug-
gled into camp, Benny getting the full
credit for 'maintaining the iMilance of
power,' when the odds were dead against
THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OP THE REBELLION.
Bare Triok upon a War Oorrespondeiit.
When the Union array occupied Fred-
erick, in September, 1862, one or two of
the most enterprising correspondents of
the press were early on hand, and railroad
communication with Baltimore being sus-
pended they were obliged to send their
despatches through to Baltimore on horse-
back. At that time a strong picket was
thrown out from Baltimore to Ellicott's
cure for him the pass required. He was
"very much obliged," and received the
following note :
H'dq'rs, Lisbon, Maryland, Sept 13.
Provogt Marshal, MicoU's MUs:
The bearer represents himself as a re-
porter and messenger for the New York
. From certain suspicious circum-
stances, I am strongly of the opinion that
Oonference of Newspaper Correspondents.
Mills, and Bumside's corps lay on the
pike near Lisbon. Late one evening,
a reporter entered what he supposed to be
the Provost Marshiirs office in Lisbon, and
addressing a gentleman in semi-military
costume sitting at a table, introduced him-
self, stated his business, and asked for a
pass which would enable him to get
through the pickets at EUicott's Mills after
the countersign was out The reply was
that he could not obtain a pass which would
take him through the pickets, but he could
have a note to the Provost Marshal at
EUicott's Mills which would probably pro-
he is nothing but a Baltimore secessionist
spy. He wants a pass, and I have rtÂ»ferred
him to you ; but I think it would be well
enough to detain him imtil he can satia-
factorily identify himself.
Captain and Provost Marshal
The correspondent went on his way re-
joicing. Upon being challenged by the
pickets at Ellicott's Mills, he presented his
letter, whereupon to his astonishment he
was forthwith taken into custody, and de-
tained some twenty hours before he oould
RATIONS, CURRENCY, ORDNANCE, MAILS, ETC.
satisfy the officers that a cruel "sell" had
been practiced upon him. Of course,
" Thnothy Jones " was nobody less than a
lazy correspondent who had got behind in
his duties ; and he at once improved his '
chance, went up to Frederick, and got in
his account as soon as his poor competitor
whom he had practiced this sorry joke
Hooker and the Newspaper Correspondents.
General Hooker always treated every
newspaper correspondent who visited him
with great politeness, but he cared very '
MÂ»j. Oen. Joseph Hooker.
little for their opinion, and was as lenient
towards the journals whose language was
inimical to him as to those professing to
be his friends. The representative of a
radical journal once asked him why he al-