down with old rye.



Blondin's Art SenriDg a erood Fl^ore.
Some gentlemen from the West obtained
an interview with President Lincoln, at
the executive mansion, when things looked
dadk for the national cause, and gave vent,
in an excited and troubled manner, to
their feelings as to the commissions and
omissions of the administration. The
President, as usual, heard patiently all



that was said, and then replied: "Sup-
pose, gentlemen, all the property you were
worth was in gold, and you had put it in
the hands of Blondin to carry across the
Niagara river on a rope, would you shake
the cable, and keep shouting to him,
* Blondin, stand up a little straighter —
Blondin, stoop a little more — ^go a little
faster — lean a little more to the North —
lean a little more to the South!' No,
you would hold your breath, as well as
your tongue, and keep your hands off till
he was safe over. The Government is
carrying an immense weight. Untold
treasures are in their hands. They are
doing the best they can. Don't badger
them. Keep silence, and we'll carry you
safe across." This simple but wonderfully
graphic idea answered the complaints of
half an hour, and not only silenced but
charmed the auditors.



Cabinet Piotores Before and After the Elec-
tion.

President Linoohi took it into his head
to call one day at the studio of the artist
who at that time was engaged in painting
the Cabinet group. Mr. Lincoln inquired
how he was getting along with the happy
family. . The artist informed him that he
was progressing finely, and would soon
have it completed. Mr. Lincoln, after
scanning closely the arrangement of the
group, expressed his admiration of the
work. ** Yes," said the artist, "it will be
a fine painting, and as soon as I get it com-
pleted, I intend to travel through the
country and exhibit it." "What!" says
the President, " exhibit that all over the
country? It will ruin my chances for
re-election. Everybody expects me to
change my Cabinet."



2>an«rer of Freedmen Voting.
Some southern gentlemen were dis-
cussing the question of the possibility and
propriety of giving votes to the freedmen
of the South; a measure in the expedi-
ency of which the Southern Unionists—



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THE BOOK OP ANECDOTES OP THE REBELLION.



more particularly those from the far South
— ^appear to be tolerably uiiaiiiiiious One
of the gentlemen present — a loyal Texan
— announced himself mflexibly opposed to
any such a grant of votes to the blacks,
" because," said he, " in six months after
you give the right to negroes to vote, half
the politicians in the country will go about
swearing that they have negro blood in
their veins/'



Didn^t Ilka Vallaadifirham's Defeat.

The news of Vallandigham*s guberna-
torial defeat, when aimounced to the Ohio
troops, caused a good deal of lusty cheer-
ing, — such as would have been heard after
the reading of an official dispatch on dress
parade, proclaiming a signal victory for
our troops. The noise attracted the atten-
tion of the rebel pickets in front, and many
of them inquired what it all meant. The
following conversation on the subject took
place in front of Fort Wood :

JRehel — Say, Yank, wluit*s all that noise
about?

Union — The boys are cheering for
Brough*s election. Vallandigham is whip-
ped.

Jieb, — How do you know Vallandigham
ain't elected? your telegraph's out, ain't
it?

Union — ^I don't know about that Ro-
sey says Brough's elected.

Eeb. — Rose/s a d-^n liar, I guess.
But is Brough elected, honest?

Union — ^Yes, he is, honest.

i?c6.( vociferously) — Officer of the guard,
No. 6!

The officer of the guard made his ap-
pearance very shortly, and asked what
was wanted. The rebel picket replied —

"Brough's elected and Vallandigham's
whipped like h — ^1. You had better send
word to General Bragg."

The pickets were told to find out how
the electbn went, if they could, and send
word to head-quarters.



Vanity of Patriotiam and Honor.

A humorous colloquy took place upon
the hurricane deck of one of the Cumber-
land river craft, between a newspaper cor-
respondent and an elderly darkey. The
latter possessed a philosophical and retro-
spective cast of countenance, was squatted
upon his bundle, toasting himself against
the chimney, and apparently plunged in
a profound state of meditation. Fmding
upon inquiry that he belonged to the
Ninth Illinois, one of the most gallantly
behaved and heavy-losing r^ments at the
Fort Donelson battle, and part of which
was aboard, the correspondent interrogated
him somewhat on the subject That the
Ethiop's philosophy was much in the Fal-
staffian vein, the following will show :

" Were you in the fight ? "

« Had a little taste of it, sa."

" Stood your ground, did you ? "

" No, sa, I runs."

« Run at the first fire, did you?"

** Yes, sa ; and would have run soona,
had I known it war comin'."

" Why, that was not very creditable to
your courage ! "

" Dat isn't in my line, sar— cookin's my
perfeshun."

** Well, but have you no regard for your
reputation ? "

" Repxitation's nuffin to me by de side
ob life."

^ Do you consider your life worth more
than other people's ? "

" It's worth more to me, sa."

" Then you must value it very highly."

"Yes, sa, I does — more dan all dis
wuld — ^more dan a million of dollars, sa ;
for what would even dat be worth to a
man wid de bref out of him ? Self-pres-
erbashun am de just law wid me."

^ Then patriotism and honor are nothmg
to you?"

" Nuffin, whatever, sa; I regard dem as
among de vanities."

It is safe to say that the dusky cc»p8e



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of that African will never darken the field
of carnage.



**Mi2atered In.'*
Hie boys of the One Hundred and Sev-
enteenth New York teU a good joke in re-
gard to the ^mustering in" of a darkey
attadied to that regiment, who became
fear^ he would be deprived of his pay
unless he was joined to the service. A
huge mustard plaster was applied to his
ba^ about a foot below where the reai*
battons of his coat were placed, and, un-
der the belief that all soldiers were served
in the same manner, as a sort of military
institution, he wore it until the pain be-
came unendurable, at which time he was
formerly declared "mustered in," accord-
ing to the law in such cases made and pro-
vided. If that darkey didn't get his wages,
il was not because he failed to suffer for
his country ait a ptUriot duly put through
by the One Hundred and Seventeentli.



** Benefit of Clerry."
The ** Volunteer" was the title of a
'broadside* published by the boys of the
Iowa Tenth, then stationed at the little se-
ce?h town of Charleston, about twenty-five
miles west of Cairo. The following story
tells the way in which, the day after the
Tenth took possession of the village, the
people thereof went to church: On his ar-
rival, on Sunday, General Payne found the
diorches vacant, and no evidences of that
devotion on the Sabbath so necessary to
all well-regulated communities; he accord-
ingly summoned the inhabitants of the
place and its surroundings to meet him at
the Court-house, at half-past one in the
afternoon, where he proposed to expound
to them the weightier matters of the law.
The house was filled (the €reneral occa-
sionally sending after a prominent ab-
sentee), and after giving them some good
advice, he called on a reverend divine to
conduct the services, quietly informing the
audience that his services were required
dsewhere, and diat it would be necessary



for them to remain until six o'clock. On
turning to the door they were surprised to
find that the house was closely guarded,
and that for the balance of the day they
were prisoners. By this ruse the General
not only succeeded in preventing informa-
tion of his movements being carried to the
rebels, but brought many an old sinner to
the altar who had not seen it for years.



Prompt Administration of the Law.

After General Schenck's arrival in Cum-
berland, one of his first decisions was very
characteristic. A secesh Colonel had sold
his negro to the Confederate government,
taking pay, of course, in scrip. Tlie negit),
employed in fortifications, managed to es-
cape to Cumberland, where he spread him-
self considerably. A constable, knowing
the circumstances, and wishing to turn a
penny, had the negro tlirown into prison
as an escaped blave. General Schenck,
hearing the fects, sent for the parties.
" By what right," he asked of the constable,
"do you hold this man in prison?"

'*As a fugitive from service."

"• Don't you know that he escaped ftx>m
the service of the rebels?"

^ Yes, but we have a law in Maryland
that covers the case. General."

'•And I have a law upon which it can
be decided. Colonel Porter, set that ne-
gro at large and put this constable in his
place."

The astonished snapper up of trifles was
marched off to the cell lately occupied by
his proposed victim.- After being detained
there precisely the same number of days
he had imprisoned the poor darkey, he was
set at large, fiilly impressed with the belief
that the grim-vihaged General had never
learnt to be trifled with.



Command of the "Virginia Poroea tendered
to General Soott.

Judge Douglas stated, soon after the

breaking out of the rebellion, that one day

while walking down the streets of Wa:jh.

ington, he met a dbtinguished gentleman*



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a member of the Virginia Dismiion Con-
vention, whom he knew personally, and
had a few minutes conversation with him.
"He told me," said Judge D., "that he had
just had an inter\'Iew with General Scott;
^hat he was chairman of the committee ap-



Oeneml Scott

pointed by the Virgln'a Convention, to
wait upon General Scott, and tender him
the command of the Virginia forces in
this struggle. General Scott received him
kindly, listened to him patiently, and said
to him:

"I have served my country, under the
flag of the Union, for more than fifty years;
and as long as Gol ])crmita me to live, I
will defend that Hiig with my sword, even
if my own native State assails it."



KOnnte Men of Massadmaetts.
1775 and 1861.

As one of the Mcossachusetts regiments
was passing through New York on its way
to .Washington, under the President's first
caJl for seventy-five thousand men, a gen-
tleman of the first-named city met one of
its members on the street.

" Is there anything I can do for you ? "
said the New Yorker, whose heart warmed
toward the brave representative of the
brave Massachusetts militia who had been
•so prompt to shoulder the musket

The soldier hesitated a moment, and
finally, raising one of his feet, exhibited a



boot with a hole in the toe, and, in other
respects, decidedly the worse for wear.

" How came you here with such boots
as those, my friend?" asked the patriotic
citizen.

" When the order came for me to join
my company, sir," replied the soldier, " I
was plowing in the same field at Concord,



Minute Heo of Massachnsett*— 1776 and 1861.

where my grandfather was plowing when
the British fired on the Massachusetts men
at Lexington. He did not wait a minute ;
and I did not, sir."

That noble soldier was furnished at once
with every thing that could meet a soldier's
wants.

Patriotisin of the Barest Kind.

Messrs. Nathaniel Davis, Robert Davis,
and William Robertson, co-partners in
business' in Montreal, Canada, abandoned
their establishment immediately on receipt
of the President's proclamation calling for
troops, and issued the following card :

"The business of Nathaniel Davis &
Co., 1058 McGill street, will cease on
Thursday of this week, as the proprietors
leave for the scene of war on Friday.
Our landlord, Mr. Flynn, kindly releases
us from our agreement to occupy his store
for another year. The President of the
United States has issued his call for vol-
unteers. As Americans we respond at



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73



once. Every drop of blood in our veins
belongs to oar country. We are thankful
to Divine Providence that we are alive and
in good health to do duty to our govern-
ment. The name of Washington will re-
ceive new lustre horn the glorious deeds
about to transpue in the trial of the cause
of freedom and a republican government."



They Had Heard of Him.

When the steamer Maryland reached
Locust Point, Baltimore, carrying Captain
Sherman's Light Artillery, and a regiment
of Pennsylvania volunteers, the troops
were met by the noted Mr. Kane, Marshal
of the city, when the following colloquy
took place:

" Major, can I be of any assistance ? "

"Who are you, Sir?"

" I am Marshal of the Police of Balti-
more, and would render any assistance."

" Oh, yes ! we have heard of you in the
regbn from whence we came. We have
no need of you. We can take care of our-
selves."

The secession-hearted Marshal retired,
and the disembarkation of the troops took
place immediately, the Harriet Lane pre-
senting her broadside to the point where
the cars waited to convey the passengers
to the Belay House.



Betort Oonrtootui from an Amerloan in Paris
to K. ThouvenaL

A distinguished American, conversing
in the city of Paris, with M. Thouvenel,
the French Minister of State, was asked
rather impatiently by that distinguished
French official,

^ But, Sir, how much time do you want
to take Richmond ? How bng must we
wwt?"

** I think. Monsieur, with great respect,"
was the courteous reply of our country-
man, "that we shall be satisfied if we are
granted aa mnch time as the allies took to
reduce SebastopoL"

M. Thouvenel changed the subject



Oompromiaine the Capitol Flacr.
Under the administration of Mr. Bu-
chanan, a man named Duddington was
captain of the Capitol police at Washing,
ton. Though he held an important and
responsible office connected with the safety
of the Capitol, he was a secessionist — a
decided but not an obtrusive one ; he made
little display of his Southern patriotism,
and his politics were praictically of that
mild type which was not inconsistent with
a willingness to retain office after the acces-
sion of Lincoln. In &ct, he was not indis-
posed to mediation and compromise, and
was inclined to bring back our misguided
and rather impetuous Southern brethren
by gentle and conciliatory means. So he
visited Senator King, during the special
executive session of the Senate called to
consider the nominations of the new Pres-
ident, and suggested as a measure of rea-
sonable compromise that the American
flag, which always floats over each house
of Congress, when it is in session, should
not be raised. " Not raise the American
flag! Why not?" asked the sturdy Re-
publican Senator. "Because," said the
official, " it irritates the Southern people."
The careful compromiser soon after — about
as soon as a note could reach the Secretary
of the Literior from Mr. King — fell a vic-
tim to " this prescriptive Administration,"
and the places that had known him in
Washington knew him no more. He was
next, and very soon aftenrards, heard of in
command of a rebel battery, one of those
which so long blockaded the Potomac, and
were unfortunately lefl so long without
being " irritated " by our arms.



Under the Btar-Qpan^led Banner.
Over the large gate at the Provost
Marshal's splendid head-quarters in Nash-
ville—Elliott's female school — ^waved a
Union flag. A very ardent secesh lady,
who wished to see Colonel Matthews, waa
about to pass through the gateway, when,
looking up, she beheld the proud flag flap-
ping like an eagle's wing over his eyria



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THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE BEBELLION.



Starting back horror-struck, she held up
her hands and exclaimed to the guard :

^ Dear me ! I can't go under that dread-
ful Lincohi flag. Is there no other way for
me to enter?"

"Yes, madam/' promptly replied the
soldier, and turning to his comrade be
said —

" Here, orderly, bring out that rebel flag
and lay it on the ground at the little gate,
and let this lady walk over it ! "

The lady looked bewildered, and after
hesitating a moment, concluded to bow her
head to the invincible Goddess of Free-
dom, whose immaculate shrine is the folds
of the Star Spangled Banner.



Desoxlptlon of South Carolina by Kr. Pet-
tiffni.

The late Judge Pettigru, of Charleston,

South Carolina, stood, solitary and alone,

among his peers in that treasonable city,

for his undisguised and persistent anti-

secessionism, facing with an unblenching



OoLRhett.

eye the social and political tide of antago-
nism which rolled against him in his ven-
erable years and whitened locks. A person
meeting him in the street one day, accosted
him, and said :

** Will you be so kind as to direct me to
the lunatic asylum ?"

** Certainly," answered Mr. Pettigru :
^ There it is," pointing to the east; ^and



there," turning and pointing to the south :
" and there," pointing to the west ; " and
there again," pointing to the north : ^ You
cannot possibly go amiss."

When asked an explanation of this sin-
gular direction, he said, not having the fear
of Rhett, Pickens, Magrath & Co, before
his eyes :

" The whole State is a lunatic asylum,
and the people are all lunatics."

When prayers were offered in the
Charleston churches for "President Da-
vis," Judge Pettigru took his hat and lefl
the place of worship where such jargon
sounds fell upon his ear. It seems almost
impossible that such a noble-minded man
could have been a fellow townsman and
walked the same streets with that " archi-
tect of ruin," Colonel Rhett, who so boldly
boasted of having "fired the Southern
heart."



National Oath of Allegianoe aocordin^ to
Southern Honor.
There is no doubt that much false swear-
ing was " done " under the feint of loyalty,
in order to serve ulterior ends, by citizens
of the States in rebellion, and many like-
wbe took the oath under avowed compul-
sion. The following will serve as an iUus-
tration of the circumstances under which
many in Louisiana attested their " loyalty."
A young man, well known in New Orleans,
was anxious to send down some goods on
a boat from Memphis. He applied to the
Provost Marshal there for a permit, and
the following form was gone thrpugh with
as preliminary : "Are you a loyal citizen?"
" No, sir." " You must take the oath of
allegiance." " Very well. Sir." (Takes
it without sugar.) " There, you have taken
the oath. Do you know what that means ? "
"Perfectly. It means a padlock on my
mouth,, and a bayonet in my rear."



Shaky Abatments.
President Lincoln's repeated reference
to the irreconcilable antagonism between
the demands of the south and the spirit



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of the Constitution is well known. On a
certain occasion he illostrated this antago-
nism by an anecdote not less apt than
amusing. '^ I once knew," said Mr. Lin-
coln, ^ a good sound churchman, whom we
will call Brown, who was on a committee
to erect a bridge over a very rapid and
dangerous river. Architect after architect
fiuled, and, at last. Brown said he had a
friend named Jones, who had built several
bridges, and could buUd this. 'Let us
have him in,* said the committee. In came
Jones. ^Can you build this bridge, Sir?'
* Yes,' repUed Jones, ' I could build a bridge
to the infernal regions, if necessary.' The
sober committee were horrified. But when
Jones retired. Brown thought it but fidr to
defend his friend. ' I know Jones so well,'
said he, ^ and he is so honest a man, and
80 good an architect, that if he states, so-
berly and positively, that he can build a
bri<^ to Hades, why, I believe it But I
have my doubts about the abutment on the
infernal side.' And so it is with me.
When politicians said they could harmonize
the northern and southern wings of the
democracy, why, I believed them. But I
had my doubt about the abutment on the
southern side."



Dr. Buokei^-lUa Captore and Eaoap«.

The arrival at Fayettville, West Vir-
ginia, of Dr. Rucker, the Union refugee,
was an exciting event in the history of
that remarkable man — ^renowned as he
had become for his persevering loyalty
mider circumstances that would ordmarily
cause the stoutest heart to quail. He
came up fix>m Kanawha county, making
his i^pearance in company with Colonel
Duval, of the Ninth West Virginia regi-
ment of infantry.

Dr. Rucker resided in Covington, Vir-
ginia, and was regarded as a radical
UnicHi man. He was several times form-
ally requested by the authorities to take
the oath of allegiance to the Southern
Confederacy, but this he unyieldin^y re-
fitted to do. At last a squad of men,



headed by a desperate leader, were sent
to take him by force. He still refiised to
heed their demands, when the leader of
the party struck him a blow upon the head
with a cane, producing an ugly wound,
from which the blood flowed freely. The
doctor deliberately drew a knife, telling his
assailant h^ intended to kill him, and pro-
ceeded to execute his threat by cutting the
fellow until he died. Dr. R soon found
himself with twelve Confederate indict-
ments pending against him, for murder,
horse stealing, treason, and almost all the
crimes known to the law.

His escape from the jail at Pittsylvania,
in the southern part of Virginia, was
made partly by means of a key obtained
from a two year old child and partly
through the assistance of an unknown lady
who procured a carriage and drove him to
Lynchburg, where he remained some days
and until the excitement growing out of
his escape had subsided. From the time
he was arrested until the time of his es-
cape he was confined in twelve difierent
jails, and was threatened with mob violence
every time he was removed from one
prison to another. In all these jails he
communicated with unknown fidends —
Union men, — ^who made him profiers of
assistance. While in Pittsylvania jail he
received from difierent persons yam and
aquafortis, and other means of sawing or
cutting his way out He was also pre-
sented with a pair of shoes, in the soles of
which he found watch springs wliich had
been converted into saws. No more heroic
instance of making political loyalty a point
of life or death can be found than this of
Dr. Rucker.



Where ia Tonr Heact P
The case of Rev. William J. Hoge, D.
D., forms a sad page in the incidents and
outgrowths of the rebellion. He was bom
in Athens, Ohio, in 1826, and was for some
years a clergyman in that State, removing
thence to Richmond, Virginia, where he
taught for several years. In 1858-9 he



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THE BOOK OF ANECDOTES OF THE BEBELLION.



was called to be collei^e to the Bev. Dr.
Spring, of the Brick Church, New York
city, which he accepted and was settled.
In the midst of these labors, the rebellion
burst upon the country. Dr. Hoge was
not at once decided as to his course of ac-
tion. His sympathies were with the South,
but he hesitated as to the line of ministe-
rial duty. On the 17th of July, 1861, he
went to the study of Rev. Dr. Prime,
at whose invitation Dr. H. originally came
to New York, and solicited Dr. P's advice
as to his duty-^-should he go to the South,
or should he remain in New York ? Dr.
Prime had often argued the political ques-
tion with him before, and vainly endeav-
ored to convince him that secession was a
crime, and would be the ruin of the South.
Dr. P. therefore said to him,

" Where is your heart ? "

" It is with the South."

"Then, go there ; and, if my heart was
there, I would go with you."

"WhenshaUIgo?"

" Go this week ; to-day, if possible."

The result of this conversation was his
immediate resignation of his pastoral
charge. He preached his farewell sermon
on the Sabbath following, while the disas-
trous battle of Bull Run was in progress.
He lefl for the South, and was soon heard
of as settled at Charlottsville. He threw
himself into the cause of the Rebellion with
his accustomed zeal, but died in a short
time, in the midst of his years and of the
gigantic conspiracy against a nation's life.



Unionist. — ^Were you forced into the
army?

Virginian. — ^Wall, no, not exactly forc-
ed ; I knew I would be, so I joined. I
thought rd feel better to go myself!

Unionist, — ^What do you expect to gain
by the rebellion ?

Virginian. — ^We find our leaders have