fedts attend, as is faid, to the neceffities of the dif-
eafed and indigent, may be added to the other argu-
ments, which prove Zoroajler to have borrowed his
inftitutions from the law of Mofes.
The prefent age, though not likely to mine here-
after among the moft fplendid periods of hiftory, has
yet given examples of charity, which may be very
properly recommended to imitation. The equal
distribution of wealth, which long commerce has
produced, does not enable any fingle hand to raife
edifices of piety like fortified cities, to appropriate
manors to religious ufes, or deal out fuch large and
lading beneficence as was fcattered over the land in
ancient times, by thofe xvho pofleffed counties or
provinces, But no fooner is a new fpecies of mifery
brought
N 4. T H E I D L E R. 15
brought to view, and a defign of relieving it pro-
feffed, than every hand is open to contribute fome-
thing, every tongue is buiied in folicitation, and
every art of pleafure is employed for a time in the
intereft of virtue.
The moft apparent and prefling miferies incident
to man. have now their peculiar houfes of reception
and relief; and there are few among us raifed how-
ever little above the danger of poverty, who may not
juftly claim, what is implored by the Mahometans in
their moft ardent benedictions, the prayers of the
poor.
Among thofe aftions which the mind can mod fe-
curely review with unabated pleafure, is that of
having contributed to an hofpital for the fick. Of
fome kinds of charity the confequences are dubious ;
fome evils which beneficence has been bufy to re-
medy, are not certainly known to be very grievous
to the fufferer, or detrimental to the community ;
but no man can queftion whether wounds and lick-
nefs are not really painful ; whether it be not wor-
thy of a good man's care to reftore thofe to eafe and
ufefulnefs, from whofe labour infants and women
expect their bread, and who, by a cafual hurt, or
lingering difeafe, lie pining in want and anguilh,
burthenfome to others, and weary of themfelves.
Yet as the hofpitals of the prefent time fubfift only
by gifts beftowed at pleafure, without any folid fund
of fupport, there is danger left the blaze of charity,
which now burns with fo much heat and fplendor,
Ihould die away for want of lafting fuel ; left fa-
fhion fhould fuddenly withdraw her fmile, a/id in-
conftancy transfer the publick attention to fomething
2 which
16 T H E I D L E R. N 4.
which may appear more eligible, becaufe it will be
new.
Whatever is left in the hands of chance muft be
fubject to viciffitude ; and when any eftablifhment is
found to 'be ufeful, it ought to be the next care to
make it permanent.
But man is a tranfitory being, and his defigns muft
partake of the imperfections of their author. To
confer duration is not always in our power. We
muft fnatch the prefent moment, and employ it well,
without too much folicitude for the future, and con-
tent ourfelves with reflecting that our part is per-
formed. He that waits for an opportunity to do
much at once, may breathe out his life in idle wifhes,
and regret, in the laft hour, his ufelefs intentions,
and barren zeal.
The moft active promoters of the prefent fchemes
of charity cannot be cleared from fome inftances of
mifconducl:, -which may awaken contempt or cenfure,
and haften that negleft which is likely to come too
foon of itfelf. -The open competitions between dif-
ferent hofpitals, and the animofity with which their
patrons oppofe one another, may prejudice weak
minds againft them all. For it will not be eafily
believed, that any man can, for good reafons, with
to exclude another from doing good. The fpirit of
charity can only be continued by a reconciliation of
thefe ridiculous feuds; and therefore, inftead of con-
tentions who fhall be the only benefactors to the
needy, let there be no other ftruggle than who mall
be the firft.
NUMB.
N a . T H E I D L E R.
i
NUMB. 5. SATURDAY, May 13, 1758.
OUR military operations are at lafl begun , our
troops are marching in all the pomp of war,
and a camp is marked out on the Me of Wight ;
the heart of every Englifhman now fwells with confi-
dence, though fomewhat foftened by generous com-
panion for the confternation and diftrefies of our ene-
mies.
This formidable armament and fplendid march.
produce different effects upon different minds, ac-
cording to the boundlefs diverfities of temper, occu-
pation, and habits of thought.
Many a tender maiden confidcrs her lover as al-
ready loft, becaufe he cannot reach the camp but by
crofting the fea; men . of a more political under-
ftanding are perfuaded that we fhall now fee, in a
few days, fhe ambaffadors of France fupplicating for
pity. Some are hoping for a bloody battle, becaufe
a bloody battle makes a vendible narrative ; fome
are compofing fongs of victory ; fome planning
arches of triumph ; and fome are mixing fireworks
for the celebration of a peace.
Of all extenfive and complicated objects different
parts are feledted by different eyes ; and minds are
varioufty affefted, as they vary their attention. 7'he
care of the publick is now fixed upon our foldiers,
VOL. VII. C who
*fr t HE IDLE R. N- 5.
who are leaving their native country to wander,
none can tell how long, in the pathlefs defarts of the
JJle of Wight. The tender figh for their fuiferings,
and the gay drink to their fuccefs. 1, who look, or
believe myfelf to look,-, with more phildfophlc eyes-
en human affairs, muft confefs, that I favv the troops
march with little emotion ; my thoughts were fixed
upon other fcenes, and the tear ftole into my eyes,
not for thofe who were going away, but for thofer
who were left behind.
We have no reafon to doubt but our troops will
proceed with proper caution ; there are men among
tliem who can take care of themfelves. But how
ihall the ladies endure without them ? By what arts 5
can they, who have long had no joy but from the ci-
vilities of a foldier, now amufe their hours, and fo-
lace their feparation ?
Of fifty thoufand men, now dellined to different
Nation's, if we allow each to have been occafionally
neceflary only to four women, a fhort computation
will inform us, that two hundred thoufand ladies are
left to languifh in diftrefs ; two hundred thoufand 1
ladies, who muft run to fales and auctions without
dn' attendant ; fit at the play, without a critick to :
diredt their opinion;- buy their fans by their own-
judgment ; difpofe fhells by their own invention ;
walk in the mall without a gallant ; go to the gar-
O O O
dens without a protedtor ; and muffle cards with vain-
impatience, for want of a fourth to complete the
party.
Of thefc ladies, fome, I hope, have lap-dogs, and*
fome monkies ; but they are unfatisfaciory compa-
nions.
N 5. T H E I D L E R. 19
nions. Many ufeful offices are performed by men
of fcarlet, to which neither dog nor monkey has
adequate abilities. A parrot, indeed, is as fine as a
colonel, and, if he has been much ufed to good
company, is not wholly without converfation ; but
a parrot, after all, is a poor little creature, and has
neither fvvord nor Ihoulder-knot, can neither dance
nor play at cards.
Since the foldiers muft obey the call of their duty,
and go to that fide of the kingdom which faces
France, I know not why the ladies, who cannot live
without them, fhould not follow them. The pre-
judices and pride of man have long prefumed the
fword and fpindle made for different hands, and de-
nied the other fex to partake the grandeur of mili-
tary glory. This notion may be confiftently enough
received in France, where the falick law excludes fe-
males from the throne ; but we, who allow them to
be fovereigns, may furely fuppofe them capable to
be foldiers. ^
It were to be wilhed that fome man, whofe expe-
rience and authority might enforce regard, would
propofe that our encampments for the prefent year
Ihould comprife an equal number of men and wo-
men, who fhould march and fight in mingled bodies.
If proper colonels were once appointed, and the
drums ordered to beat for female volunteers, our
regiments would foon be filled without the reproach
or cruelty of an imprefs-
Of thefe heroines, fome might ferve on foot, un-
fler the denomination of the Female Buffs, and fome
am horfeback, with the title of Lady Huffars,
C 2 What
20 T H E I D L E R. N" 5,
What objections can be made to this fcheme I
have endeavoured maturely to confider; and can-
not find that a modern foldier has any duties, except
that of obedience, which a lady cannot perform. If
the hair has loft its powder, a lady has a puff; if a
coat be fpotted, a lady has a brum. Strength is of
lefs importance fince fire-arms have been ufed ;
blows of the hand are now feldom exchanged ; and
what is there to be done in the charge or the retreat
beyond the powers of a fprightly maiden ?
Our mafculine fquadrons will not iuppofe them-
felves difgraced by their auxiliaries, till they have
done fomething which women could not have done.
The troops of Braddock never faw their enemies, and
perhaps were defeated by women. If our American
general had headed an army of girls, he might dill
have built a fort and taken it. Had Minorca been
defended by a female garrifon, it might have been
furrendered, as it was, without a breach ; and I
cannot but think, that feven thoufand women might
have ventured to look at Rochfort, fack a village, rob
a vineyard, and return in fafety.
Nf MB.
N6. T H E I D L E R. 21
NUMB. 6. SATURDAY, May 20, 1758.
i atfil^; ytw,~ct, yvtn* GR, PRO.
THE lady who had undertaken to ride on one
horfe a thoufand miles in a thoufand hours,
has completed her journey in little more than two-
thirds of the time ilipulated, and was conducted
through the laft mile with triumphal honours. Ac-
clamation fliouted before her, and all the flowers of
the fpring were fcattered in her way.
Every heart ought to rejoice when true merit is
diftinguifhed with public notice. 1 am far from
wifhing either to the amazon or her horfe any dimi-
nution of happinefs or fame, and cannot but lament
that they \vere not more amply and fuitably rewarded.
There was once a time when wreaths of bays or
oak were confidered as recompences equal to the
mod wearifome labours and terrifkk dangers, and
when the miferies of long marches and itormy feas
were at once driven from the remembrance by the
fragrance of a garland.
If this heroine had been born in ancient times, fhe
might perhaps have been delighted with the fimpli-
city of ancient gratitude ; or if any thing was want-
ing to full fatisfa&ion, fhe might have inpplied the
deficiency with the hope of deification, and antici-
pated the altars that would be raifed, and the vows
that would be made, by future candidates for equef-
trian glory, to the patronefs of the race and the god-
defs of the ftable.
i But
42 T H E I D L E B. N> 6.
But fate referved her for a more enlightened age,
which has difcovered leaves and flowers to be tran-
fitory things -, which confiders profit as the end of
honour ; and rates the event of every undertaking
only by the money that is gained or loft. In theie
days, to flrew the road with dailies and lilies, is to
mock merit, and delude hope. The toyman will not
give his jewels, nor the mercer meafure out his filks,
for vegetable coin. A primrofe, though picked up
under the feet of the mod renowned courfer, will
neither be received as a ilake at cards, nor procure
a feat at an opera, nor buy candles for a rout, nor
lace for a livery. And though there are many vir-
tuofos, whofe fole ambition is to poflefs fomething
which can be found in no other hand, yet fome are
more accuftomed to ftore their cabinets by theft than
purchafe, and none of them would either fleal or
buy one of the flowers of gratulation till he knows
that all the reft are totally deftroyed.
Little therefore did it avail this wonderful lady to
be received, however joyfully, with fuch obfolete
and barren ceremonies of praife. Had the way been
covered with guineas, though but for the tenth part
of the laft mile, fhe would have considered her fkil'l
and diligence as not wholly loft; and might have
rejoiced in the fpeed and perfeverance which had left
her fuch fuperfluity of time, that ihe could at leifure
gather her reward without the danger of Atlanta's
inifcarriage.
So much ground could not, indeed, have been
paved with gold but at a large expence, and we are
at prefent engaged in a war, which demands and en-
forces frugality. But common rules are made only
for;
THE IDLER.
23
for common life, and feme deviation from general
policy may be allowed in favour of a lady that rode
a thoufand miles in a thoufand hours.
Since the fpirit of antiquity fo much prevails
amongft us, that even on this great occafion we have
given flowers inftead of money, let us at leaft com-
plete our imitation of the ancients, and endeavour to
tranfmit to pofterity the memory of that virtue, which
we conficler as fuperior to pecuniary recompence*
Let an equestrian ftatue of this heroine be erected,
near the flarting-poft on the heath of Newmarket*
to fill kindred fouls with emulation, and tell the
grand-daughters of our grand-daughters what an
Englijh maiden has once performed.
As events, however ilkiflrious, are foon obfcured
if they are intrufted to tradition, I think it neceffary,
that the pedeftal fhouid be infcri.bed with a concifs
Account of this great performance. The compofi-
tion of this narrative ought not to be committed
fafhly to improper hands. If the rhetoricians of
Nc.wwarket, who may be fuppofed likely to conceive
in its full flrength the dignity of the fubjedt, fliould
undertake to exprefs it, there is danger left they ad-
mit fome phrafes which, though well underflood at
prefent, may be ambiguous in another century. If
pofterity fhould read on a public monument, that
the lady carried her horje a ti.'oufand miles in a thoufand
hours, they may think that the flatue and inlcription
are at variance, becaufe one will reprefent the horfe
as carrying hi? lady, and the orhcr tell that the lady
carried her horfe.
Some doubts likewife may be raifed by fpeculatifts,
and fome cojotroverfies be agitated among hillorians,,
-C 4 coaceifl-
24 T H E I D L E R. N b.
concerning the motive as well as the manner of the
action. As it will be known, that this wonder was
performed in a time of war, fome will fuppofe that
the lady was frighted by invaders, and fled to pre-
ferve her life or her chaftity : others will conjecture,
that ihe was thus honoured for fome intelligence
t>
carried of the enemy's defigns : fome will think that
fhc brought news of a victory ; others, that (he was
commiffioned to tell of a confpiracy ; and fome will
congratulate themlelves on their acuter penetration,
and find, that all thele notions of patriotifm and
publick fpirit are improbable and chimerical ; they
will confidently tell, that Ihe only ran away from her
guardians, and that the true cauies of her fpeed were
fear and love.
Let it therefore be carefully mentioned, that by
this performance Jhe won her wager ; and, left this
fhould, by any change of manners, feem an inade-
quate or incredible incitement, let it be added, that
at this time the original motives of human actions
had loft their influence ; that the love of praile was
extinct ; the fear of infamy was become ridiculous -,
and the only wifh of an Engujhman was, to win bis
wager*
NUMB.
THE IDLER. 25
NUMB. 7. SATURDAY, May 27, 1758.
ONE of the principal amufements of the Idler
is to read the works of thole minute hiftorians
the writers of news, who, though contemptuoufly
overlooked by the compofers of bulky volumes, are
yet neceflary in a nation where much wealth pro-
duces much leifure, and one part of the people has
nothing to do but to obferve the lives and fortunes
of the other.
To us, who are regaled every morning and even-
ing with intelligence, and are fnpplied from day to
day with materials for converfation, it is difficult to
conceive how man can fubfift without a news-paper,
or to what entertainment companies can afiemble,
in thofe wide regions of the earth that have neither
Chronicles nor Magazines, neither Gazettes nor Ad-
vertifers^ neither Journals nor Evening-Pofts.
There are never great numbers in any nation,
vvhofe reafon or invention can find employment for
their tongues, who can raife a pleafing difconrfe
from their own (lock of fentiments and images ; and
thofe few who have qualified them (elves by fpecu-
lation for general difquifitions are foon left without
an audience. The common talk of men muft relate
to facts in which the talkers have, or think they have,
an intereft ; and where fuch facts cannot be known,
the pleafures of fociety will be merely fenfual. Thus
the natives of the Mahometan empires, who approach
mod nearly to European civility, have no higher plea-
furc
2$ T H E I D L E R. N 7.
fure at their convivial aflemblies than to hear a piper,
or gaze upon a tumbler, and no company can keep
together longer than they are diverted by founds or
ihows.
All foreigners remark, that the knowledge of the
common people of England is greater than that of
any other vulgar. This fuperiority we undoubtedly
owe to the rivulets of intelligence, which are con-
tinually trickling among us, which every one may
catch, and of which every one partakes.
This univerfal diffufion of inftrudion is, perhaps,
not wholly without its inconveniences ; it certainly
fills the nation with fuperficial difputants ; enables
thofe to talk who were born to work ; and afford*
information fufficient to elate vanity, and flifTen ob-
flinacy, but too little to enlarge the mind into com~
plete fkill for full compreheniion.
Whatever is found to gratify the publick, will be
multiplied by the emulation of venders beyond ne-
ceffity or ufe. This plenty indeed produces cheap
nefs, but cheapnefs always ends in negligence and
depravation.
The compilation of news-papers is often commit-
ted to narrow and mercenary minds, not qualified
for the tafk of delighting or inftrudting ; who are
content to fill their paper, with whatever matter,
without induflry to gather, or difcernment to {elect.
Thus journals are daily multiplied without increafe
of knowledge. The tale of the morning paper is
told again in the evening, and the narratives of the
evening are bought again in the morning. Thefe
repetitions, indeed, wafte time, but they do not
fhorten it. The mofl eager perufer of news is tired
before
N 7. T H E I D L E R. 27
before he has completed his labour; and many a man,
who enters the coffee-hopfe in his night-gown and
flippers, is called away to his fhop, or his dinner,
before he has well confidered the ftate of Europe.
It is difcovered by Reaumur ', that fpiclers might
make filk, if they could be perfuaded to live in
peace together. The writers of news, if they could
be confederated, might give more pleafure to the
publick. The morning and evening authors might
divide an. event between them ; a fmgle a&ion, and
that not of much importance, might be gradually
difcovered, fo as to vary a whole week with joy,
anxiety, and conjecture.
We know that a French fhip of war was lately
taken by alhip of England; but this event was fuf-
fered to burfh upon us all at once, and then what we
knew already was echoed from day to day, and from
week to week.
Let us fuppofe thefe fpiders of literature to fpin
together, and enquire to what an extenfive web fuch
another event might be regularly drawn, and how
fix morning and fix evening writers might agree to
retail their articles.
On Monday Morning the Captain of a fhip might
arrive, who left the Frifeur-of France, and the Bull-
dog, Captain Grim, in fight of one another, fo that
an engagement feemed unavoidable.
Monday Evening. A found of cannon was heard
off Cape Finifterre, fuppofed to be- thofe of the Bull-
dog and Frifeur.
Tuefday Morning. It was this morning reported,
that the Bulldog engaged the Frifeur, yard-arm and
yard-arm, three glaffes and a half, but \\ as obliged to
fheer
rf T H E I D L E R.
ihecr off for want of powder. It is hoped that en-
quiry will be made into this affair in a proper place.
'Tuefday Evening. The account of the engagement
between the Bulldog and Frifeur was premature.
Wednefday Morning. Another exprefs is arrived,
which brings news, that the Frifeur had loll all her
mails, and three hundred of her men, in the late en-
gagement; and that Captain Grim is come into har-
bour much fhattered.
Wednefday Evening. We hear that the brave Cap-
tain Grim, having expended his powder, propofed to
enter the Frifeur fword in hand ; but that his lieu-
tenant, the nephew of a certain nobleman, remon-
ilrated againtl it.
Tburfday Morning. We wait impatiently for a full
account of the late engagement between the Bulldog
and Frifeur.
Tburfday Evening. It is faid that the order of the
atb will be fent to Captain Grim.
Friday Morning. A certain Lord of the Admi-
ralty has been heard to fay of a certain Captain, that
if He had done his duty, a certain French fhip might
have been taken. It was not thus that merit was
rewarded in the days of Cromwell.
Friday Evening. There is certain information at
the Admiralty, that the Frifeur is taken, after a re-
(iftance of about two hours.
Saturday Morning. A letter from one of the gun-
ners of the Bulldog mentions the taking of the />/'-
feur, and attributes their luccefs wholly to the bravery
and refolution of Captain Grim, who never owed any
of his advancement to borough-jobbers, or any other
corrupters of the people.
Saturday
N 8. T H E I D L E R. * ?
Saturday Evening. Captain Grim arrived at the
Admiralty, with an account that he engaged the Fn-
feur, a Ihip of equal force with his own, off Cape Fi-
niftene^ and took her after an obftinate refiftancc,
having killed one hundred and fifty of the French,
with the lofs of ninety-five of his own men.
NUMB. 8. SATURDAY, June 3, 1753.
fa the IDLER.
SIR,
N the time of publick danger, it is every man's
duty to withdraw his thoughts in fome meafure
from his private intereft, and employ part of his
time for the general welfare. .National conduct
ought to be the refult of national wifdom, a plan
formed by mature consideration and diligent (elec-
tion out of all the fchemes which may be offered,
and all the information which can be procured.
In a battle, every man Ihould fight as if he was
the Cngle champion ; in preparations for war, every
man fhould think, as if the laft event depended on
his counfel. None can tell what difcoverie~s are
within his reach, or how much he may contribute to
the publick fafety.
Full of thefe confederations, I have carefully re-
viewed the procefs of the war, and find, what every
other man has found, that we have hitherto added
nothing to our military reputation : that at one time
we
& T H E I D L E R. N 8*
we have been beaten by enemies whom we did not
fee ; and, at another, have avoided the fight of ene-
mies left we fliould be beaten.
Whether our troops are defective in difcipline or
in courage, is not very ufeful to inquire ; they evi-
dently want fomething neceflary to fuccefs ; and he
that fhall fupply that want will deferve well of his
country.
jT0 learn of an enemy has always been accounted
politick and honourable ; and therefore I hope it will
raife no prejudices againfl my project, to confefs that
I borrowed it from a Frenchman.
When the Ifle of Rhodes was, many centuries ago,
in the hands of that military order now called the
Knights of Malta, it was ravaged by a dragon, who
inhabited a den under a rock, from which he iffued
forth when he was hungry or wanton, and without
fear or mercy devoured men and beafts as they came
in his way. Many councils were held, and many
devices offered, for his deflrudtion ; but as his back
was armed with impenetrable fcales, none would
venture to attack him. At laft Dudon, a French
knight, undertook the deliverance of the ifland.
From fome place of fecurity he took a view of the
dragon, or, as a modern foldier would fay, recon-
witred him, and obferved that his belly was naked
and vulnerable. He then returned home to take
his arrangements ; and, by a very exaft imitation of
nature, made a dragon of pafteboard, in the belly
of which he put beef and mutton, and accuftomed
two fturdy maftiffs to feed themfelves, by tearing
their way to the concealed fleflh. When his dogs
were well praftifed in this method ef plunder, he