Thomas Dekker.

The guls hornbook : and The belman of London in two parts online

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him must disburse forty shillings or three pound
for his Jades diet. The Hackney-men of
Rochester have been oftentimes come over with
this Jump at Leap-frog^ and know the game well,
for a man cannot name it but they are ready to
give it a curse.

The second Jump is called car-^ing stones,
and that is performed in this maner : A crue
of Sharking companions (of which there be
sundry consorts lurking about the suburbs of
this City) being driven out of meanes, by leading
base and idle lives, or else by their riotous
expences amongst whores, practise to live upon
the fee simple of their wits ; and having amongst
them all some little money left (which they call
their Shooing-horne) they seeke out some blind
victualling house, or Cookes house, without the
barres, whose Host (if it be possible) is either
an asse easie to be ridden, or else a common
drunkard. In this Colts house will they sit


carowsing halfe-cannes day and night, and pay Soakers

royally at first for what they call, that shooing- who

home of theirs drawing the Host and Hostesse "^^^er pay

on to beleeve they shall be made for ever by

these guests ; who to gull the poore Goose-cap

the better, draw all their acquaintance they can

to ye house, never either drinking or feeding,

but mine Host must sit at the bords end like a

Magnifico in pomp, with his ale-dropt greasie

doublet shining by candle light, as if it were an

old rusty Armor scurvily scowred. But when

these Horse-leeches have suckt their guts full, or

rather the pitifully-complaining Hosts guts

empty, that he findes by his scores he can trust

no more : then do they at one time or other

talke of state matters, or of Religion, when the

Goodman of the house can scarce stand on his

legs under / his owne roofe, and trip him in

some words ; which the next day (beeing told

of it, and the words justified to his face) he

knowes he dares not answere ; with which hooke

holding his nose to the grindstone, they write

their mind in great round Oes of chalke, behinde

a doore, which Oes they call stones : the waight

of them beeing such that looke how many

shillings they make, so many times the wretched

Hostesse cries 0, as groning under the burden.

Now Sir of these Oes^ twenty shillings make a

loade, and ten pound make a Barge full ; which

when they have well freighted, these Dunklrkes

hoyst Saile and to Sea againe they goe in

another vessell ; to finde another Braseman, that

is to say, into another tipling house to finde

another Jade whom they may all saddle and


Fawning get up upon : if their last Host follow them
with a Bailif or a Sergeant, they only hold up
a finger, naming a Pursevant and cry Mum, no
more mine Host, you wot what : which wordes
are of more power to blow him away, then if
they firde him thence with traines of gunpowder.
By meanes of this Jump, some Victuallers have
leaped cleane out of doores and with the fall
have beene ready to lie in the streetes.

The third Jump is called Fawning : those
that leape at it are Fawneguests ; and that is
done in the edge of an evening, when a Cheater
meeting a stranger in the darke and taking him
for another, gets the stranger by some slight to
a Taverne, where calling for two pintes of
sundry wines, the drawer setting the wines
downe with two cups, as the custome is,
the Jumper tastes of one pinte (no matter which)
and findes fault with the wine, saying tis
too hard, but rose-water and sugar would
send it downe merrily ; and for that pur-
pose takes up one of the cuppes, telling the
stranger he is well acquainted with the Boy at
the barre, and can have two peny worth of rose-
water for a peny of him, and so steps from his
seate ; the stranger suspecting no harme because
the Fawne-guest leaves his cloake at the end of
the table behinde him. But this Jump comming
to be measured, it is found that he that went to
take his rising at the barre, hath stolne ground
and out-leaped the other more feete than he can
recover in haste, for the cup is leaped away with
him, for which the woodcock that is taken in
the springe, must pay fifty shillings or three


pound, and hath nothing but an / old thredbare Fool-
cloake not worth ic groates to make amends for taking
his losses. ^

The fourth Jump is called Fooletaking ; and meat
that is done severall waies, sometimes by setting
a couple of suttle rogues to sing ballads on a
stall, till a number of people presse about them to
buy their trash, and then their purses being dis-
covered, are quickly in the Nips fingers. Others
are Fooletaken by letting chambers to fellowes
like serving-men, in the name of such an
Esquire, or such a Knight, or such a Captaine
new come from the low countries, bringing in a
trunck exceeding heavy, and crambd full of
brick-bats, which is left in the hired chamber, and
five times the value of it lifted away in stead of
it. With this Jump many maidservants, and
their wealthy Maisters have beene over-reached
by counterfeit kinsemen that have brought a
cheese or a gammon of Bacon to the poore
wench, claiming kinred of her whether she will
or no, and afterwards beeing (for his cheese and
bacon) invited to the Citizens table, have in the
night time taken away plate, or other commodi-
ties in exchange of his white-meates.

The fift Jump, is called Spoon e-meate, and
that is a messe of knaverie served in about
Supper time in the edge of an evening likewise :
It is done thus : A silly fellow in shew, attired
like a clowne, spurnes (being nere some candle
that stands on a stall) a paper before him, in
which is wrapt up a spoone : taking up which
and looking on it by the light, and making it
knowne (by his loud talking and wondring what


Spoon- he hath found) that he tooke it up by chance,
"^^^ people flock about him, and imagine it is a silver
and guilt spoone, for it lookes very faire, but he
seeming to be an innocent coxcomb, knowes not,
hee sales what hee should doe with such a gew-
gawe ; whereupon every one is catching at it,
and offers him money for it : he wishes he had
rather found money than such a bable, for he
eates not his pottage in plate ; in the end some
Fox amongst all the Cubbes that stand about
him, whispers in his eare, to have it from all the
rest and thrusts a crowne privily into his hand.
The Jumper takes it, and sneakes away, the
other gets home as fast as he can, longing till he
call his wife, all his houshold and neighbors
about him, to shewe what a penyworth / hee
met with ; but the gilt spoone comming to be
tried of what mettall hee is made, the poore
mans money prooves copper, and hee hmiselfe is
laughed at for a Coxcomb.

How long shall 1 saile upon these godlesse
waters ? Is it not time to get to shore ? Is it
not fit that I should now found a retreate and
not weary my pen in the execution of such base
and barbarous minded Caitifs ? What a
battaile have I undertaken : and with what an
ignoble enemie ? to contend with whom is an act
inglorious, and to conquer whom, (but that they
are open and professed foes to the Republicky to
honesty, to civility, and to all humanity) were
asmuch dishonour, as by them to be overcome?
Who would imagine that in a Kingdom so
fertile in all sorts of wholesome discipline, there
should grow up such ranck and such pestilent


beds of hemlock : that in the very hart of a The
state so rarely governed and dieted by good lawes, terrible
there should breede such loathsome and such ^^tent of
ulcerous impostumes ? that in a City so politick,
so civill, and so severe, such ugly, base, and bold
impieties dare shew their faces ? What an
Army of insuiferable Abuses, detestable Fices,
most damnable Fil/anies, abominable Pollutions,
inexplicable M'tschiefes, sordid Inquinations,
horrible and Hel-hound-like-perpetrated flagitious
enormities have beene here ministred together ?
under what divellish commanders are they con-
ducted ? what colors of damnation doe they fight
under ? what dismal Ensignes doe they spred ?
what forces doe they bring into the field ?
how full of courage they are ? how full
of cunning ? how politick are the Ringleaders
of these Faries ? how resolute are all ye
troopes ? what strange Armor have they (of
subtiltie, & desperate boldnes) to encounter and
set upon their opposites ? what Artillery have
they to batter downe Order, Law, custome,
plaine dealing, and all the goode guards and
defences of Governement ? What remaineth
therefore, (in an assault so dangerous to a
Common wealth, and so hotly and daily prose-
cuted), but that Justice her selfe must come into
the field, leading with her all her forces ? That
the Triple Body of the state may knit all their
Nerves together and sit in Counsell, setting
downe stratagems and lawes how to race for
ever (out of so noble a Kingdome) such / rebels
to the peace and honour of it : That the
Reverend Judges may (out of a detestation of


Justice the lives of these monsters) lock up their eies

^^' and eares from pitty, when any of these Savages

^^^ ^ are caught and brought before them : That all

inferior ministers of Justice, may be vigilant,

faithfull and severe in hunting them into Gaoles

that are the fittest toyles for them to fall into,

and that the hangman may not lie lazing and

complaine for want of worke, so many infected

bodies being to bee found in every corner of the

Land, whom no medicine can cure, but the

physick which hee bestowes upon him at the

Galloives ? Where I leave them, as to the

haven in which they must all cast anchor,

if D eric L Cables doe but hold (and un-

lesse they amend.) Give thankes

to Z'/fiT Bel-miin of London^ if

either profit or pleasure

bee gained by the


FiNIf. /


A 2 able of all the Matters^ that are contained in
this Booke.

Chap. I. Of Canting.

What matters were tryed at a

Tearme that was in Hell.
The proceedings of that court.
Chap. II. -(3 A counsell held in Hell about
the Bellman,
I 4 A messenger sent from thence,

with instructions.
/-How Gentlemen are cheated at

The Leaders.
The Forlorn Hope
The Eagle
The Wood-pecker
The Gull
_^ The Gull-groper.
How Gentlemen are undone by
taking up Commodities.
A Tumbler

Chap. TIL
Of Gull-grop-

To furnish
which feast,

Guests are
bidden, viz.

Chap. TV.
Of Ferreting

Chap. V.
Of Hawking

Tragasdy hath
these five acts,

How to catch

A Ferret
A Warren.
Birdes by the

Which is

done with

five Nets,



fA Falconer
A Lure

A Tercell Gentle
A Bird
A Mongrell.


Chap. VI.

Chap. VIL

Of Ranck-


Chap. VIII.
Chap. IX.

Chap. X.
Of Jynglers.

Chap. XI.

Chap. XII.

J Snaffle
A Ring

Of Jackes of the Clocke-house.
How Inne-keepers and Hackney
men are sadled.

To make whome
goe a round pace, ■
you must have,

Of Moone-men.

The infection of the suhurbes.

The Villanie oi Horse-Coursers.

C d
Skip- Jackes.
. Of Jacke in a Box, or a new
kinde of cheating, teaching how
to change Goide into silver^
\ unto which is added a Map^ by
I which a man may learne how to
ITravell aii over England, and
have his charges borne.
( The Bel-mans second Nights
I walke, in which hee meetes with
la number of Monsters that live
Un Darkenesse.

To the verry worthy Gentleman
Maister Francis Mustian of Peckam,

It may (happily) seeme strange unto you, that The
such an army of Idle-zoords should march into choice of
the open field of the world under the Ens'igne of P^^^*^"^
your Name: (you beeing not therewith made
acquainted till now) you may judge it in me an
Error^ I my selfe confesse it a boldnesse. But
such an ancient and strong Charter hath Custome
confirmed to This Printing age of ours, (by
giving men authoritie to make choice of what
Patrons they like,) that some Writers do
almost nothing contrary to the custome, and
some by vertue of that Priviledge, dare doe any
thing. 1 am neither of that first order, nor of
this last. The one is too fondly-ceremonious,
the other too impudently audacious. I walk in
the midst (so well as I can) betweene both :
with some fruites that have growne out of my
Brains, have I bin so farre from being in love,
that I thought them not worthy to be tasted by
any particular friend, and therefore have they bin
exposed only to those that would entertain
them : neither did I thinke the Fairest that ever


Two was Mine, so worthy, that it was to be lookd
sorts of upon with the Eye of universal censure. Two
madmen gQj.^g q£ ^ad-men trouble the stationers shops in
Paules Church-yard: they that out of a Meere
and Idle vaine-glory will ever be Pamphleting
(tho their bookes beeing printed are scarse
worth so much Brotune paper), and this is a
very poore, and foolish ambition : Of the other
sort are they that beeing free of Wits Merchant-
venturers, do every new moon (for gaine onely)
make 5. or 6. voiages to the Presse, and every
Term-time (upon Booksellers stalles) lay whole
litters of blinde invention: fellowes yet (it they
do but walke in the middle He) spit nothing but
ynck, and speake nothing but Poeme. I would
keepe company with neither of these two mad-
men, if 1 could avoid them, yet I take the last
to be the wisest and lesse dangerous : for
sithence al the arrowes that men shoote in the
world, flye to two marks only (either pleasure
or profit) he is not much to be condemned that
having no more Jcres to live uppon then those
that lie in his head, is every houre hammering
out one peice or other out of this rusty Iron age,
sithence the golden and silver Globes of the
world are so locked up, that a Scholler can
hardly be suffred to behold them. Some
perhaps wil say, that this lancing of the
pestilent sores of a Kingdome so openly, may
infect those in it that are sound, and that in this
our schoole, (where close abuses / and grose
villanies are but discovered and not punished)
others that never before knew such evils, wil be
now instructed (by the booke) to practise them.


If so, then let not a traitor, or a Murderer be The
publikely arraigned, lest the one laying open to wi.der-
the world, how his plots were woven to contrive jnons^ers
a treason, or the other, what pollicies he was
armed with, for the shedding of blood, the
standers-by (that are honest) be drawn (by
their rules) to run head-long into the same
mischiefe : no, Our strong phisicke works
otherwise. What more makes a man to loath
that Mongrell Madnesse (that halfe English,
halfe Dutch sinne) Drunkennesse, then to see a
common Drunkard acting his Scanes in the
open streete ? Is any Gamester so foolish to
play with false Dice, when he is assured that al
who are about him know him to be a Siuorne
Cheator ? The letting therfore of Vice blood
in these severall Feines, which the Bel-man
hath opend, cannot by any Judicial rules of
phisicke, endanger the Bodie of the Common-
wealth, or make it feeble, but rather restore
those parts to perfect strength, which by
disorder have ben diseased.

Give mee leave to lead you by the hand into
a Wildernesse (where are none but Monsters,
whose crueltie you need not feare, because I
teach the way to tame them : ugly they are in
shape and divelish in conditions : yet to behold
them a far off, may delight you, and to know
their quallities (if ever you should come neere
them) may save you from much danger.) Our
Country breedes no Wolves nor Serpents, yet
Theise ingender here, and are either Serpents or
Wolves, or worse then both : what soever they
are, I send unto you not the Heard of the one,


Uses of or the Bed of the other, but only a Picture of
the either. View them I pray, and where the

picture cullours are not well layde on, shadow them
with your finger : if you spy any disproportion,
thus excuse it, such Painting is Jit for Monsters :
How rudely soever the Peece is drawne, call it
a Picture. And when one more worthe your
vie we lies under the workemans pencil, this Bad-
one shall bring you home a Better : In the
meane time, I cease, and begin to be (if you

All yours J


To my owne Nation.


After it was proclaimed abroad, that (under Rebels
the conduct of the Bel-man of London,) neiu ^^^^"^A-
forces were (once more) to bee leavied against ^fg?^ ^^
certaine Wilde and Barbarous Retells, that
nvere up in open armes against the Tran-
quilitie of the Weale publique : // cannot bee
tolde what numbers of voluntaries offred themselves
dayly to fight against so common, so bolde, so
strange, and so dangerous an enemy. Light
Horse-men came in hourely, nvith discoverie where
these Mutineeres lay intrenched: delivering (in
brief e notes of intelligence J who were their Leaders,
how they went Armed, and that they served both
on Horse and Foot ; only their Strengthes could
not bee discryed, because their Numbers were
held infinite. Tet instructions were written and
sent everie minute by those that were Favourers
of Goodnesse shewing what Militarie Disciplines
the foe used in his Battailes, and what Forts (if
hee were put at any time to flight) he wold retire
to ; what stratagems hee would practize and
where he did determine to lye in Ambuscade.


A They that could not serve In person in This
usurper Noble quarrell sent their Auxiliary Forces,
well armed ivith Counsell. So that the Bel -man
(contrarie to his onvne hopes,) seeing kimselfe so
strongly and strangely seconded by friends, doth
now bravely advance forward in maine battalion.
The day of encounter is appointed to be in this
Michaelmas Tearme. The place, Paules
Chur[c]]h-yard, Fleetestreet, and other parts of
the Cittie. But before they Joy ne, let me give you
note of one thing, and that is this.

There is an Usurper, that of late hath taken
uppon him the name of the Bel-man, but being
not able to maintaine j that Title, hee doth nonv
call himselfe the Bel-mans brother : his ambition
is (rather out of vaine glorie then the true courage
of an Experienced Soldier) to have the leading
of the Van, but it shall be honor good enough for
him (if not too good) to come up luith the Rere.
Tou shall know him by his Habiliments, for (by
the furniture he nveares ) hee ivill bee taken for a
Beadle 0/ Bridewell. // // thought he is rather
a Newter than a friend to the cause : and there-
fore the Bel -man dooth heere openly protest that
he comes into the field as no felloive in armes with

Howsoever it be strucke, or whosoever gives
the first blow, the victorie depends upon the
vallor of you that are the IVinges to the Bel-
mans army ; for which conquest he is in hope
you will valiantly fight, sithence the quarrel is
against the head of monstrous abuses, and the
blowes which you must give are in defence of
Law, Justice, Order, Ceremony, Religion,


Peace, and that honorable title of Good- The bell
nesse. nian

Saint George ! / see the two Armies moove ^ "^^'^ces
forward : and beholde, the Bel-man h'lmselfe jirst
char get h uppon the face of the Enemy, Thus :

To the Author.

How e*re thou maist by blazing all Ahuscj
Incurre suspect, thou speak'st what thou hast

(Tho then to keepe it close it thee behov'd,
So, Reason makes for thee a just excuse)
Yet of thy paines the Best may make good use ;
Then of the Best^ thy paines should be approv'd,
And for the fame of them shouldst be belov'd,
Sith thou of Falsehoods Floud do'st ope tl.e

That they at waste continually may runne,
By shewing men the Reaches that they have,
That honest men may so or'e-reach a Knave,
Or sound their swallowing Deepes, the same to

shunne :
But if from hence, a Knave, more cunning

That Spider sucks but poison from thy Rose.

Tky friend if thine ozvne,

lo : Da ;


To his Friend.

Of FicBi whose Counter-mine a state confounds,
Worse then Sedition: of those Mortall Woundes
Which (throughly search'd) doe Kingdomes

hearts endanger :
Of Plagues that o're run Citties : of those

Big-swolne Impo5tu7nes^ poisning the strong

Of the most Sounds best Dieted Common-wealth,
Thou tell'st the Causes, and doest teach the

By Medicine well-compounded, cheape, and

sure :
And (as One read in deepe Chirurgery,)
Draw'st of these Evils, the true Anatomy.
Then, on thy Plainnesse let none lay reproofe,
Thou tak^st Sinners heigth (as men doe starres)


M: R:


To my industrious friend.

In an ill Time thou writ'st, when Tongues had

Spit venome on thy lines, then from thy labours
(As Druggists doe from poison) medicine

This is no Age to crowne Desert with Favors.
But be thou Constant to thy selfe, and care not
What Arrowes Mallice shootes : the Wise will

Blame thy Lowd singing, and the Foolish dare

not :
None else but Wolves will barke at thine En-

VVhen thou (in thy dead Sleepe) liest in thy

These Charmes to after- Ages up shall raise

thee ;
What heere thou leav'st, alive thy Name shall

And what thou now dispraisest, shall rhen praise

Tho, Not to know ill, be wise Ignorance,
Yet thou (by Reading Evill) doest Goodnesse

And, of abuse the coullors doost advance
Onely upon abuse to force a breach ;
The honor that thy fen shall earne thereby,
Is this : that tho Knates Live, their slights
(Here) dye.

E: G:


Lanthorne and Candle-light,

The Bell-mans second Nights walke.

Of Canting,

How long it hath beene a language : how
it comes to bee a language : how it is
derived, and by whom it is spoken.


When all the World was but one Kingdome^ all One king-
the People in that Kingdome spake but one ^°"^ °"^
language. A man could travail in those dayes ^^^ ^
neither by Sea nor land, but he mett his Country-
men and none others.

Two could not then stand gabling with
strange tongues, and conspire together (to his
owne face) how to cut a third mans throat, but
he might understand them. There was no
Spaniard (in that Age) to Brave his enemy in
the Rich and Lofty Castilian: no Romaine
Orator to plead in the Rethoricall and Fluent


The early Latine : no Italian to court his Mistris in the
forms of s^y^ete and Amorous Thuscane : no French-man
^ to parley in the full and stately phrase of
Orleans : no Germaine to thunder out the high
and ratling Dutch : the unfruitfuU crabbed
Irish, and the Voluble significant Welch, were
not then so much as spoken of: the quick.
Scottish Dialect (sister to the English) had not
then a tongue, neither were the stringes of the
English speech (in those times )untyed. When
/ the first learn'd to speake, it was but a broken
language : the singlest and the simplest Words
flowed from her utterance : for she dealt in
nothing but in Monosillables, (as if to have
spoken words of greater length would have
crackt her Voice) by which meanes her
Eloquence was poorest, yet hardest to learne, and
so (but for necessity) not regarded amongst
Strangers. Yet afterwards those Noblest
Languages lent her Words andphrazes, and turn-
ing those Borrozcings into Good husbandry, shee
is now as rich in Elocution, and as aboundant as
her prowdest and Best-stored Neighbors.

Whilst thus (as I said before) there was but
one Alphabet of Letters, for all the world to
Read by, all the people that then lived, might
have wrought upon one pcece of worke in
countries farre distant a sunder, without mis-
taking one another, and not needing an
interpreter to runne betwcene them. Which
thing Nymrod (the first Idolater,) perceiving,
and not knowing better how to imploy so m.any
thousand Millions of Subjects as bowed before
him, a fire of Ambition burn'd within him, to


climbe up so high that hee might see what was The
done in heaven : And for that purpose, workmen Tower of
were summoned from all the corners of the "^'^^^
Earthy who presently were set to Build the Toiver
of Babell. But the Maister avorkeman of this
Great Universe^ (to check the Insolence of such
a Sazvcie builder) that durst raize up Pynnacles,
equall to his owne (above), commanded the
selfe-same Spirit that was both bred in the Chaos

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Online LibraryThomas DekkerThe guls hornbook : and The belman of London in two parts → online text (page 10 of 18)