he then clofed them and never
I opened them more.
He lies buried in a corner of his church-
yard, under a plain marble-flab, which his
friend Eugenius, by leave of his executors,
laid upon his grave, with no more than thefe
three words of infcription, ferving both for
Jhis epitaph, and elegy
Alas, poor YORICK!
Ten times a day has Yorick 's ghoft the
confolation to hear his monumental infcrip-
tion read over with fuch a variety of plain-
tive tones, as denote a general pity an^
cfteemfor him; a foot-way croirmg thd
church-yard clofe by his grave, — not a
paflenger goes by, without flopping to caft
a 190k upon it, and fighing as he walks
on,
Alas, poor YORICK!
Sterne.
§ 5. The Story o/" Alcander atid Sef-
TiMius. Taken from a Bj/zantine Hif-
iorian.
Athens, long after the decline of the
Roman empire, ftill continued the feat of
learning, politenefs, and wifdom. Theodo-
ric the Oftrogoth repaired the fchools which
barbarity was fuffering to fall into decay,
and continued thofe penfions to men of
learning which avaricious governors had
jBonopoIized.
In this city, and about this period, Al-
cander and Septimius were fellow-ftudents
together : the one the moft fubtle reafoner
of all the Lyceum, the other the moft elo-
iquent fpeaker in the academic grove.
Mutual admiration foon begot a friendfhip.
Their fortunes were nearly equal, and they
were natives of the nvo moft celebrated cities
in the world ; for Alcander was of Athens,
Septimius came from Rome.
In this ftate of harmony they lived for
fome time together; when Alcander, after
pafRng the firft part of his youth in the in-
â– colence of philofophy, thought at length of
<ienrering into the bufy world; and, as a ftep
previous to this, placed his affedions on
Hypatia, a lady of exquifite beauty. The
day of their intended nuptials was fixed ;
the previous ceremonies were performed;
and nothing now remained but her being
conduced in triumph to the apartment of
the intended bridegroom.
Alcander's exultation in his own happi-
nefs, or being unable to enjoy any fatisfac-
tion without making his friend Septimius a
partner, prevailed upon him to introduce
Hypatia to his fellow-ftudent ; which he did
with all the gaiety of a man who found him-
felf equally happy in friendihip and love.
But this was an interview fatal to the future
peace of both ; for Septimius no fooner faw
her, but he was fmitten with an involuntary
paflion ; and, though he ufed every effort to
fupprefs defires at once fo imprudent and
unjuft, the emotions of his mind in a fhort
time became fo ftrong, that they brought on
a fever, which the phyficians judged in-
curable.
_ During this illnefs, Alcander watched
him with all the anxiety of fondnefs, and
brought his miftrcfs to join in thofe ami-
able offices of friendfhip. The fagacity of
the phyficians, by thefe means, foon difco-
vered that the caufe of their patient's dif-
order was love: and Alcander being ap-
prized of their difcovery, at length extort-
ed a confeffion from the relutlant dying
lover.
It would but delay the narrative to de-
fcribe the conflid between love and friend-
fhip in the breaft of Alcander on this occa-
fion ; it is enough to fay, that the Athenians
were at that time arrived at fuch refinement
in morals, that every virtue was carried to
excefs. in fhort, forgetful of his own feli-
city, he gave up his intended bride, in all
her charms, to the young Roman. They
were married privately by his connivance,
and this unlooked-for change of fortune
wrought as unexpefted a change in the con-
ftitution of the now happy Septimius : in a
few days he was perfedlly recovered, and fet
out with his fair partner for Rome. Here,
by an exertion of thofe talents which he was
fo eminently poftefTed of, Septimius in a few
years arrived at the higheft dignities of the
ftate, and was conftituted the city-judge, -or
prstor.
In the mean time Alcander not only felt
the pain of being feparated from his friend
and his miftrefs, but a profecution was alfo
commenced againft him by the relations of
Hypatia, for having bafely given up his
bride, as was fuggelted, for money. His
innocence of the crime laid to his charge,
and
ELEGANT EXTRA CTS,
ir
and even his eloquence in his own defence,
were not able to withftandi the influence of
a powerful party. He was caft, and con-
demned to pay an enormous fine. How-
ever, being unable to raife fo large a fum at
the time appointed, his poffeffions were con-
fifcated, he himfelf was llripped of the habit
of freedom, expofed as a Have in the market-
place, and fold to the higheft bidder.
A merchant of Thrace becoming his
purchafer, Alcander, with fome other com-
panions of diftrefs, was carried into that
region of defolation and fterility. His ftated
employment was to follow the herds of an
imperious mailer, and his fuccefs in hunt-
ing was all that was allowed him to fupply
his precarious fubfiftence. Every morning
awaked him to a renewal of famine or toil,
and every change of feafon ferved but to
aggravate his unftieltered diftrefs. After
fome years of bondage, however, an op-
portunity of efcaping offered ; he embraced
it with ardour ; fo that travelling by night,
and lodging in caverns by day, to fhorten
a long itory, he at laft arrived in Rome.
The fame day on which Alcander arrived,
Septimius fat adminiftering juftice in the
forum, whither our wanderer came, expeft-
ing to be inftantly known, and publicly ac-
knowledged by his former friend. Here he
jftood the whole day amongft the crowd,
watching the eyes of the judge, and expecting
to be taken notice of; but iie was fo much
altered by a long fucceffion of hardfhips,
that he continued unnoted among the reft ;
and, in the evening, when he was going up
to the pra;tor's chair, he was brutally re-
pulfed by the attending liftors. The atten-
tion of the poor is generally driven from
one ungrateful objeft to another ; for night
coming on, he now found himfelf under a
neceffity of feeking a place to lie in, and yet
knew not where to apply. All emaciated,
and in rags as he was^ none of the citizens
would harbour fo much wretchednefs ; and
fleeping in the ftreets might be attended
with interruption or danger; in fhort, he
was obliged to take up his lodging in one of
the tombs without the city, the ufual retreat
of guilt, poverty, and defpair. In this
manfion of horror, laying his head upon an
inverted urn, he forgot his miferies for a
while in fleep ; and found, on his flinty
couch, more eafe than beds of dov/n can
fupply to the guilty.
As he continued here, about midnight
two robbers came to make this their re-
treat ; but happening to difagree about the
divificn of their plundetj one of them ftabbqd
Soox J /
the other to the heart, and h£t him ireTtering
in blood at the entrance. In thefe circunis.
ftances he was found next morning dead at
the mouth of the vault. This naturally-
inducing a farther enquiry, an alarm was
fpread ; the cave was examined ; and Alcan-
der b«ng found, was immediately appre-
hended, and accufed of robbery and murder.
The circumftances againft him were ftrong,
and the wretchednefs of his appearance con-
firmed fufpicion. Misfortune and he were ,
now fo long acquainted, that he at laft
became regardlefs of life. He detefted a
world where he had found only ingratitude,
falfehood, and cruelty; he was determined
to make no defence; and thus, lowering with .
refolution, he was dragged, bound with
cords, before the tribunal of Septimius. As
the proofs were poiitive againft him, and he
offered nothing in his own vindication, the
judge was proceeding to doom him to a moft
cruel and ignominious death, when the at-
tention of the multitude was foon divided by
another objeft. The robber, who had been
really guilty, was apprehended felling his
plunder, and, ftruck with a panic, had con-
felTed his crime. He was brought bound
to the fame tribunal, and acquitted every
other perfon of any partnerfliip in his guilt.
Alcander 's innocence therefore appeared,
but the fuUen raflinefs of his conduft re-
mained a wonder to the furrounding mul-
titude; but their aftoniftiment was ftill far-
ther encreafed, when they faw their judge
ftart from his tribunal to embrace the fup-
pofed criminal : Septimius recoilefted his
friend and former benefaftor, and hung
upon his neck with tears of pity and of joy.
Need the fequel be related ? Alcander was
acquitted : (hared the friendfhip and honours
of the principal citizens of Rome ; lived
afterwards in happinefs and eafe ; and left it
to be engraved on his tomb. That no cir-
cumftances are fo defperate, which Provi-
dence may not relieve. â–
§ 4. The Monk.
A poor Monk of the order of St. Francis
came into the room to beg fomething for his
convent. The moment I caft my eyes upon
him, I was pre-determined not to give him
a fmgle fous, and accordingly I put my purfe
into my pocket — buttoned it up — fet myfelf
a little more upon my centre, and advanced
up gravely to him : there was fomething, I.
fear, forbidding in my look : 1 have his
figure this moment before my eyes, and
think there was that in it which dcferved
better.
, The
Book IV. NARRATIVES, DIALOGUES, &c. 177
The Monk, as I judge from the break
in his tonfure, a few fcattered white hairs
upon his temples being all that remained
of it, might be about feventy but from
his ejes, and that fort of fire which was in
them, which feemed more tempered by
courtefy than'years, could be no more than
fixty truth might lie between He
was certainly fixty-five ; and the general air
of his countenance, notwithftanding fome-
thing feemed to have been planting wrinkles
in it before their time, agreed to the ac-
count.
It was one of thofe heads which Guido
has often painted — mild — pale — penetrat-
ing, free from all common-place ideas of
fat contented ignorance looking downwards
upon the earth — it look'd forwards; but
look'd as if it look'd at fomething beyond
this world. How one of his order came by
it. Heaven above, who let it fall upon a
monk's fhoulders, beft knows ; but it would
have fuited a Bramin, and had I met it
upon the plains of Jndoftan, I had reve-
xenced it.
The reft of his outline may be given in a
few ftrokes ; one might put it into the hands
of any one to defign, for 'twas neither
elegant nor otherwife, but as character and
expreffion made it fo : it was a thin, fpare
form, fomething above the common fize, if
it loft not the diftinftion by a bend forwards
in the figure — but it was the attitude of in-
treaty ; and as it now ftands prefent to my
imagination, it gain'd more than it loll
by it.
When he had entered the room three
paces, he ftoodftill; and laying his left hand
upon his breaft (a flender white ftaff" with
which he journeyed being in his right) —
when I had got clofe up to him, he intro-
duced himfelf with the little ftory of the
wants of his convent, and the poverty of
his order -and did it with fo nmple a
grace — and fuch an air of deprecation was
there in the whole caft of his look and figure
■— I was bewitched not to have been ftruck
with it
— A better reafon was, I had pre deter-
mined not to give him a fmgle fous.
— 'Tis very true, faid 1, replying to a
caft upwards with his eyes, with which he
had concluded his addrefs — 'tis very true
—and Heaven be their rcfource who have
no other but the charity of the world, the
ftock of which, I fear, is no way fuiHcient
for the many great claims which are hourly
made upon it.
As I pronounced the words ** great
" claims," he gave a flight glance with
his eye downwards upon the fleeve of his
tunic — I felt the full force of the appeal—
I acknowledge it, faid I — a poarfe habit,
and that but once in three years, with mea-
gre diet — are no great matters : and the
true point of pity is, as they can be earn'd
in the world with fo little induftry, thatyouc
order fhould wifli to procure them by pref-
fmg upon a fund which is the property of the
lame, the blind, the aged, and the infirm:
the captive, who lies down counting over
and over again the days of his affliftion,
languilhes alfo for his fliare of it ; and had
you been of the order of Mercy, inftead of
the order of St. Francis, poor as I am, con-
tinued r, pointing at my portmanteau, full
cheerfully Ihould it have been opened to you
for the ranfom of the unfortunate. The
Monk made me a bow — but of all others,
refumed I, the unfortunate of our own
country, fnrely, have the firft rights ; and I
have left thoufands in diftrefs upon our own
fhore The Monk gave a cordial wave
with his head — as much as to fay. No
doubt, there is mifery enough in every
corner of the world, as well as. within cur
convent But we diftinguifti, faid I, lay-
ing my hand upon the fleeve of his tunic, in
return for his appeal — we diftinguifli, my
good father! betwixt thofe who wifti only to
eat the bread of their own labour — and thofe
who eat the bread of other people's, and
have no other plan in life, but to get
through it in floth and ignorance, for the
love of God.
The poor Francifcan made no reply : a
heiTtic of a moment pafs'd acrofs his cheek,
but could not tarry — Nature feemed to have
had done with her refentments in him ;
he fliewed none — but letting his ftafF fall
within his arm, he preffed both his hands
with refignation upon his breaft, and re-
tired.
My heart fmote me the moment he fliut
the door Plha! faid I, with an air of
carclefthefs, three feveral times but it
would not do ; every ungracious fyllable I
had uttered crowded back into ray ima-
gination ; I refleaed I had no right over
the poor Francifcan, but to deny him ; and
that the puniftiment of that was enough to
the difappointed, without the addition of
unkind language — Iconfidered his grey hairs
— his courteous figure f enred to re-enter,
and gently aik me, what injury he had done
me ? and why I could ufe him thus ? — I
would have given twenty livres for an advo-
cateo—I have behaved very ilj, faid I within
n myfeif;
178
ELEGANT EXTRACTS,
Book IV^
myfelf; but I have only juft fet out upon my
travels; and fhall learn better manners as I
get along. Sterne,
§ 5. Sir Beriravd. A Fragment.
Sir Bertrand turned his fteed
towards the woulds, hoping to crofs thefe
dreary moors before the curfew. But ere
he had proceeded half his journey, he was
bewildered by the different tracks ; and not
being able, as far as the eye could reach, to
efpy any objeft but the brown heath fur-
rounding him, he was at length quite un-
certain which way he fhould direft his
courfe. Night overtook him in this fitua-
tion. It was one of thofe nights when the
moon gives a faint glimmering of light
through the thick black clouds of a lower-
ing Jky. Now and then ihe fuddenly
emerged in full fplendour from her veil,
and then inftantly retired behind it ; having
juft ferved to give the forlorn Sif Bertrand a
wide extended profpeft o\er the defolate
wafte. Hope and native courage awhile
, urged him to pufli forwards, but at length
the increafing darknefs and fatigue of body
and mind overcame him ; he dreaded moving
from the ground he ftood on, for fear of un-
known pits and bogs, and alighting from his
horfe in defpair, he threw himfelf on thte
ground. He had not long continued in that
pofture, when the fullen toll of a diftant bell
llruck his ears — he ftarted up, and turning
towards the found, difccrncd a dim twink-
ling light.. Inftantly he feized his horfe's
bridle, and with cautious fteps advanced to-
wards it. After a painful march, he was
flopped by a moated ditch, furrounding the
place from whence the light proceeded ; and
by a momentary glimpfe of moon-light he
had a full view of a large antique manft^:^,.
with turrets at the corners, and an ampi^
porch in the centre. The injuries of time
v/ere ftrongly marked on every thing about
it. The roof in various places was fallen in,
the baitlements were half demolifhed, and
the windows broken and difmantled. A
drawbridge, with a ruinous gate-v/ay at each
end, led to the court before the building —
He entered, and inftantly the light, Vvliich
proceeded from a v/indow in one of the
turrets, glided along and vaniftied ; at the
fime moment the moon funk beneath a black
Cloud, and the night was darker than ever.
7\i! was filent — Sir Bertrand faftened his
": :ed under a Ihed, and appraaching the
::^-i\*^, traverfed its whole front with light
d Ho'.v footfteps — All was ftill ;as death—
â– : looked in at the lower wiildows, but.
2
could not diftinguifh a fingle objeft throu' H
the impenetrable gloom. After a fh^ c
parley with himfelf, he entered the porcli,
and feizing a maffy iron knocker at the gate,
lifted it up, and hefitating, at length ftruck
a loud ftroke — the noife refounded through
the whole manfion with hollow echoes. All
was ftill again — he repeated the ftrokes more
boldly and %)uder — another interval of
filence enfued — A third time he knocked,
and a third time all was ftill. He then fell â–
back to fome diftance, that he might difcera
whether any light could be feen in the whole
front — It again appeared in the fame place,
and quickly glided away, as before — at the
fame inftant a deep fuiien toll founded from
the turret. Sir Bertrand's heart made a
fearful ftop — he was a while motionlefs;
then terror impelled him to ma';e forae
hafty fteps towards his fteed — but ftiame
ftopt his flight; and urged by honour, and
a refill lefs defire of finifhing the adventiire,
he returned to the porch; and working up
his foul to a full fteadincfs of refoiution, he
drew forth his fword with one hand, and j,
with the other lifted up tlie latch of the gate. â–
The heavy door creaking upon its. hinges
reluftantly yielded to his hand — he applied
his fhouldcr to it, and forced it open — he
quitted it, and ftept forward — the door in-
ftantly fliut with a thundering clap. Sir
Bertrand s blood was chilled — he tamed
back to find the door, and It was long eie
his trembling hands could feize it — but his
utraoft ftrength could not open it again.
After feveral ineffcflual attempts, he looked
behind him, and beheld, acrofs a, hall, upon
a large ftair-cafe, a pale bluifti ftamc, wliich
call: a difmal gleam of light "aromid. He
again fumjnoned forth his courage, and
advanced towards it— it retired. He came
to the foot of the ftairs, and after a mo-
ment's deliberation afcended. He went
fiowly up, the fiaine retiring before him, till
he came to a wide gallery — The flame pro-
ceeded along it, and ho followed in filent
horror, treading lightly, for the echoes of
his footfteps ftartled him. It led him to the
foot of another ftair-cafe, and then vanifned
— At the fame inftant another toll founded
from the turret — Sir Bertrand felt it ftrike
upon his heart. He was now in total
darknels, and, with his arms extended, began
to afcend the fecond ftair-cafe. A dead .
cold hand met his left hand, and firmly
grafped.it, drawing him forcibly forwards-
he endeavoured to difengage himfelf, but
could not — he made a furious blow with his
fvv'ord, and iiiliantly a j,Qud ihriek pierced
his
feooK IV. NARRATIVES, DIALOGUES, kc.
m
his ears, and the dead hand was left power-
lefs witlFhis — He dropt it, and nifhed for-
wards with a defperate valour. The flairs
were narrow and winding, and interrupted
by frequent breaches, and loofe fragments of
ftone. The ftair-cafe grew narrower and
narrower, and at length terminated in a low
iron grnte. Sir Bertrand pufted it open —
it led to an intricate winding pallage, juil
liirge enough to admit a perfon upon his
hands and knees. A faint glimmering of
light ferved to fhew the nature of the place
— Sir Bertrand entered— A deep hollow
groan refounded from a diftance through the
vault — He went forwards, and proceeding
beyond the iirft turning, he difcerned the
fame blue flame which had before conduifled
Jiim — He followed it. The vault, at
length, fiiddenl}- opened into a lofty gallery,
in the midll of which a figure appeared,
comple^tly armed, thrufting forwards the "
bloody Itump of an arm, with a terrible
frown and menacing gefcure, and br?n-
dlHiing a fword in his hand. Sir Bertrand
undauntedly fprung forwards ; and aiming a
fierce blow at the figure, it inftantly vaniih-
ed, letting fall a mafiy iron key. The flame
lio<w refted upon a pair of ample folding
doors at the end of the gallery. Sir Ber-
trand went up to it, and applied the key to
a. brazen lock — with difficulty he turned the
bolt — inftantly the doors flew open, and
difcovered a large apartment, at the end of
which was a coffin relied upon a bier, with
a taper burning on each fide of it. Along
the room, on both fides, were gigantic
fiatues of black marble, attired in the Moor-
iili habit, and holding enormous fabres in
their right hands. Each of them reared his
arm, and advanced one leg forwards, as the
knight entered; at the fame moment the lid
of the coffin flevv^ open, and the bell tolled.
The flame Itill glided forwards, and Sir
Bertrand refoluteJy followed, till he arrived
within fix paces of the coffin. Suddenly a
lady in a fhroud and black veil rofe up in it,
and flretched out her arms towards him — at
the fame tim.e the ftatues clafhed their fabres
• and advanced. Sir Bertrand flew to the
lady, and clafped her in his arms — fhe
threw up her veil, and kified his lips ; and
inftantly the whole building (hook as with
an earthquake, and fell afunder with a hor-
rible crafii. Sir Bertrand was thrown into
a fudden trance, and on recovering found
himfeif feated on a velvet fofa, in the molt
magnificent room he had ever feen, lighted
with innumerable tapers, in lullrcs of pure
cryftal. A fumptuous banquet was fet in
the middle. The doors opening to foft
muflc, a lady of incomparable beauty, attired
with amazing fplendour, entered, furrouhded
by a troop of gay nymphs more fair-than the
Graces — She advanced to the knight, and
falling on her knees, thanked him as her
deliverer. The nymphs placed a garland of
laurel upon his head, and the lady led him
by the hand to the banquet, and fat befide
him. The nymphs placed themfelvcs at the
table, and a numerous train of fervants en-
tering, ferved up the feaft : delicious mufic
playing all tlie time. Sir Bertrand could
not fpeak for afl.onifhment — he could only
return their honours by courteous looks and
geftures. After the banquet was finifhed,
all retired but the lady, who leading back
the knight to the fofa, addreffed him in thefe
words : — — — — —
yJih'n's MifceL
§ 6. Ojt Unman Grandeur.
An alehoufe-keeper near Iflington*, who
had long lived at the fign of the French
King, upon the commaicement of the laft
war pulled down his old fign, and put up
that of the Queen of Hungary. Under th«
influence of her red face and golden fceptre,
he continued to fell ale, till fhe was no longer
the favourite of his cuftomers; he changed
her, therefore, fome time ago, for the King-
of Pruflia, who may probably be changed,
in turn, for the next great man that fhali b«.^
fet up for vulgar admiration.
In this manner the great are dealt out,
ofte after the other, to the gazing crowd.
When we have fufficiently wondered at one
of them, he is taken in, and another exhi-
bited in his room, who feldom holds his
ftation long ; for the mob are ever pleafed
with variety.
I muft own I have fuch an indifferent
opinion of the vulgar, that I am ever led
to fufpert tliat merit which raifcs their
fhout : at leaft I am certain to find thofc
great, and fometimes good men, who find
fatisfadtion in fuch acclamations, madeworfe
by it; and hiftory has too frequently taught
me, that the liead which was grown this day
giddy with the roar of the million, has the
very next been fixed upon a pole.
As Alexander VI, was entering a little
town in the neighbourhood of Rome, which
had been juft evacuated by the enemy, he
perceived the townfmen bufy in the market-
place in pulling down from a gibbet a figure
w-hich bad been defigusd to reprefeat him-
1^0
ELEGANTEXTRACTS,
Book IV.
felf. There were fome aMb knocking dpv/n
a neighbouring ftatue of one of the Orfmi
family, with whom he was at war, in order
to put Alexander's etSgy in its place. It is
poffible a man who knew lefs of the world
would have condemned the adulation of
thofe bare-faced flatterers; but Alexander
feemed pleafed at their zeal; and, turning