William Hone.

The Man in the moon &c. &c. &c. : With fifteen cuts online

. (page 1 of 2)
Online LibraryWilliam HoneThe Man in the moon &c. &c. &c. : With fifteen cuts → online text (page 1 of 2)
Font size
QR-code for this ebook


DA

531
H3

1820



UC-NRLF



B M DID DD7



\



-^



THE



MAN IN THE MOON,



&c. Sic. &c.



If Caesar can Lide the Siiu with a blanket, or put the Moon in his pocket, we
will pay him tribute for light." — Cymbeline,



V/ITU FIFTEEN CUTS.




CUimtp-secontr euttton*

LONDON :

PRINTED BY A^D FOR WILLIAM HONE,

45, LUDGATE-HILL.

1820.



ONE SHILLING.






r~^



a,



1



rs



" Is there not



^ABie htdden thunder in the stores of heaven.
Red with uncommon wrath, to blast the men
Who owe their greatness to their country's ruin ?"



Oetitcateti



RIGHT HON. GEORGE CANNING,

AUTHOR OF PARODIES ON SCRIPTURE, TO RIDICULE

HIS POLITICAL OPPONENTS; AND COLLEAGUE

WITH T E PROSECUTORS OF

POLITICAL PARODY:

WHO,

AFTER LAMPOONING LORD SIDMOUTH, AND HOLDING HIM UP TO

THE SCORN AND CONTEMPT OF ALL ENGLAND, AS A CHARLATAN

AND " PRIME DOCTOR TO THE COUNTRY," NOW TAKES

A SUBORDINATE PART UNDER HIM AS

A " prime" MINISTER :

WHO,

AFTER DENOUNCING LORD CASTLEREAGH'S INCAPACITY FOR

INFERIOR OFFICE, AND CONFIRMING THAT DENUNCIATION BY HIS

PISTOLS, ACCEPTED INFERIOR OFFICE HIMSELF UNDER THE

CONTROL OF THAT VEKV LoRD CaSTLEREAGH ; AND

SEEKS TO PROLONG HIS POLITICAL EXISTENCE

BY THIi FAWNING BLANDISHMENT OF " MY

NOBLE FRIEND," ALTHOUGH THAT

" NOBLE friend" HAS NOT BEEN

OBSERVED TO ENCOURAGE

THE EMBARRASSING ENDEARMENT,

BY RETURNING IT ;

THUS,

BY HIS PARODIES,

HIS PISTOLS AND HIS WITS,

FIGHTING AND WRITING HIS WAY

TO PLACE AND PROFIT UNDER MINISTERS,

WHOM THE Df:RISION OF HIS PEN

HAS DRIVEN TO THE MISERY

OF HIS ALLIANCE.



M84833



TH r.



MAN IN THE MOON,

A SPEECH FROM THE THRONE,

TO THE SENATE OF LUNATARIA

3fn tl)e jHoon-




INTRODUCTION.
I LATELY dream'd tliat, in a hu^e balloon,
All silk and gold, I journey 'd to the Moon,
Where the same objects seem'd to meet my eyes
That I had lately left below the skies;



And judge of my astonishment, on seeing
All things exactly, to a hair, agreeing:
The mountains, rivers, cities, trees, and towers,
On Cynthia's silver surface, seem'd like ours ;
Men, women, children, language, dress, and faces,
Lords, Commons, Lackies, Pensioners, and Places,
Whigs, Tories, Lawyers, Priests, and men of blood,
And even Radicals — by all that's good !

In a long street, just such as London's Strand is,
'Midst Belles and Beggars, Pickpockets and Dandies,
Onward I went, between a brazen horse.
And a large Inn which bore a Golden Cross,
Then through a passage, narrow, long and dark,
That brought my footsteps to a spacious park.

It chanc'd that morning that the Sovereign Dey,
The Prince of Lunataria pass'd that way —
Gods! whatasight! what countless crouds were there,
What yells, and groans, and hootings, rent the air!
By which, I learn'd, the Lunatarian nation
Are wont to testify their admiration ;
We don't do so on earth — but that's no matter —
The Dey went onward, midst a hideous clatter
To meet the Senators ; for 'twas appointed.
That, on that morning. He — the Lord's anointed —
Should make a grand Oration from the throne,
That his most royal pleasure might be known



Respecting certain great affairs of State : —

I heard the speech ; Oh ! could the muse relate

The " elegance,'' the sweet " distinctiveness y'

With which his Royal Deyship did address

That reverend body of Moonarian sages,

I'd write a book that should endure for ages.

Alas ! such heights are not for me to reach ;

I'll therefore, from my note-book, take the Speech,

And you must say, as 'tis by Pope exprest,

*' Give all thou canst, and we will dream the rest!"





THE SPEECH.



MY L—rds and G—tl—n,
I grieve to say,

That poor old Dad,

Is just as — bad,
As when I met you here

the other day.



Tis pity that these cursed State Affairs

SfiovUd take ypyi from your pheasants and your hares

Just now :
''■ ' Butlo!
Conspiracy and Treason are abroad !
Those imps of darkness, gender'd in the wombs
Of spinning-jennies, winding-wheels, and looms,^

In Lunashire —

Oh, Lord!
My L — ds and G — tl — n, we've much to fear !

Reform, Reform, the swinish rabble cry —
Meaning, of course, rebellion, blood, and riot —
Audacious rascals! you, my Lords, and I,
Know 'tis their duty to be starved in quiet:
But they have grumbling habits, incompatible
With the repose oi our august community —
They see that good things are with us come-at-ible.
And therefore slyly watch their opportunity

To get a share ;

Yes, they declare
That we are not God's favorites alone —
That they have rights to food, and clothes, and air.
As well as you, the Brilliants of a throne !
Oh ! indications foul of revolution —
The villains would destroy the Constitution !



J've given orders for a lot of Letters,
From these seditious, scribbling, scoundrels' betters,
N — d — n and N — rr — s, F — ch — r, W — t and H — y,
* To lie, for your instruction,'
Upon the table;
From which said premises you'll soon be able

To make a fair deduction.
That some decisive measures must be taken,
Without delay.
To quell the Radicals^

and save our bacon.

And now, my faithful C— m — ns,

You must find

The means to raise the wind :
For Derry Down, and Sid, have thought it wise,
To have — besides the Spies —
A few more Cut-throats, to protect the rhino
Of loyal people, — such as you and I know.

Van's estimates will come before you straight i

And, 1 foresee

That your opinions will with mine agree.

No lighter weight

Can well be placed on

c




JOHNNY MOON CALF'S back,
Who is, you know,

a very willing hack.
The revenue has fluctuated
slightly —
See the Courier —
But it's been found to be

improving nightly —
For two weeks past, —

therefore we've nought to fear.
Some branches of our trade
are still deprest,
And those dependant on them
waniting food,



Sut that's a sort of

temporary evil —
'Twill wear away :

perhaps 'tis for the best
At all events, 'twill do

no good
To let the starving wretches

be uncivil.

Five years ago, you know,

our sad condition
Was partly owing to

* the quick transition
From war to peace' — then,

we had ' scanty crops' —
Then, something else — and now —

our weavers' shops
Are full of Radicals^

and Flags, and Caps;
But ' temporary' still

are these mishaps —
The ' quick transition's' gone,

the ' crops' are good,
And though the Radicals

may still want food,
A few




STEEL LOZENGES

will stop their pain,
And set the Constitution
right again.

My L— ds and G— tl— n.

The foreign powers
Write me word frequently

that they are ours,
Most truly and sincerely,
in compliance
With our most




HOLY COMPACT AND ALLIANCE,

The purposes of which

1 need not mention —

You that have brains can guess
at the intention.

'Tis my most anxious wish,
now we're at peace,
That all internal discontents

should cease —
T' accomplish which

I see no better way
Than putting one-eyed pensioners
on full pay.



' The body of the people, I do think,

are loyal still,'
But pray, My L— ds and G — tl — n,

don't shrink
From exercising all your care

and skill,
Here, and at home,

TO CHECK THE CIRCULATION




OF LITTLE BOOKS,

Whose very looks —
Vile * two-p^nny trash,'

bespeak abomination.
Oh ! they are full of blasphemies

and libels,
And people read them

oftener than their bibles



Go H — df — t, Y — rm — th, C — le— gh, and C — nn — g

Go, and be planning.
Within your virtuous minds, what best will answer
To save our morals from this public cancer ;
Go and impress, my friends, upon all classes,
From sleek-fac'd Swindlers down to half-starv'd Asses,
' That, from religious principles alone,'
(Dont be such d — d fools as to blab your oivn)
Temperance, chasteness, conjugal attention —
With other virtues that I need not mention —
And from subordination, and respect,
To every knave in robes of office deck'd —
' Can they expect to gain divine protection'
And save their sinful bodies from dissection !




His Highness ceased —

The dissonance of Babel
Rose from the motley

Moonitarian rabble:
The yell of loyalty —

the dungeon groan —
The shriek of woe —

the starving infant's moan
The brazen trumpets' note —

the din of war —
The shouts of freemen

rising from afar —
Darted in horrid discord

through my brain : —
I woke, and found myself

on Earth again




mifm




■'7K<4^/>'^^"-f^^-«^C *■ .^* ^^"Hi^.-ia..^




' RufSans are abroad

* a •

Leviathan is not so tamed."



THESE ARE

THE REASONS OF LAWLESS POWER,

That back the Public Informer,

who
Would put down the Thing,

that, in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it,

by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin,
That plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House,
That Jack built.




Great offices will have



Great talents."



This is THE MAN— all shaven and shorn,
All cover'd with Orders— and all forlorn ;



THE DANDY OF SIXTY,

who bows with a grace,
And has taste in wigs, collars,

cuirasses, and lace;
Who, to tricksters and fools,

leaves the State and its treasure,
And, when Britain 's in tears,

sails about at his pleasure,
"Who spurn'd from his presence

the Friends of his youth,
And now has not one

who will tell him the truth ;
Who took to his counsels,

in evil hour.
The Friends to the Reasons

of lawless Power ;
That back the Public Informer,

who
Who would put down the Thing,

that, in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it,

by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin,
That plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House,
That Jack built.




" Portentous, unexampled, unexplain'd!

What man seeing this,

And having human feelings, does not blush,
And hang his head, to think himself a man?

I cannot rest

A silent witness of tlie headlong rage.

Or heedless folly, by which thousands die

Bleed gold for Ministers to sport away."



THESE ARE

THE PEOPLE

all tatter'd and torn,
Who curse the day

wherein they were born,
On account of Taxation

too great to be borne,
And pray for relief,

from night to morn :
Who, in vain, Petition

in every form,



Who, peaceably Meeting

to ask for Reform,
Were sabred by Yeomanry Cavalry,

who
Were thank'd by THE MAN,

all shaven and shorn.
All cover'd with Orders —

and all forlorn ;
THE DANDY OF SIXTY,

who bows with a grace,
And has taste in wigs, collars,

cuirasses, and lace:
Who, to tricksters and fools,

leaves the state and its treasure.
And, when Britain 's in tears,

sails about at his pleasure :
Who spurn'd from his presence

the Friends of his youth,
And now has not one

who will tell him the truth ;
Who took to his counsels, in evil hour.
The Friends to the Reasons of lawless Power,
That back the Public Informer, who
Would put down the Thing, that,inspiteof new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it, by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin, that plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House, that Jack built.




THE DOCTOR.

' At his last gasp— as if with opium drugg'd."

DERRY-DOWN TRIANGLE.

' He that sold his country."

THE SPOUTER OF FROTH.

' With merry descants on a nation's woes —
There is a public mischief in his mirth."



THE GUILTY TRIO.

Great skill have they in palmistry, and more
To conjure clean away the gold thej touch,
Conveying worthless dross into its place ;
Loud when they beg, dumb only when they steal.
• • ■ •

Dream after dream ensues?



And still they dream, that they shall still succeed.
And still are disappointed."



This is THE DOCTOR

of Circular fame,

A Driv'ller, a Bigot, a Knave
without shame;



And that's DERRY DOWN TRIANGLE

by name,
From the Land of mis-rule,

and half-hanging, and flame :
And that is THE SPOUTER OF FROTH

BY THE HOUR,
The worthless colleague

of their infamous power :
Who dubb'd him ' the Doctor'

whom now he calls ' brother/
And, to get at his Place,

took a shot at the other ;
Who haunts their Bad House,

a base living to earn.
By playing Jack-pudding, and Ruffian^

in turn ;
Who bullies, for those

whom he bullied before ;
Their Flash-mdm, their Bravo,

a son of a • ;

The hate of the People,

all tatter'd and torn,
Who curse the day

wherein they were born,
On account of Taxation

too great to be borne,
And pray for relief

from night to morn ;



Who, in vain, petition

in every form :
Who peaceably Meeting

to ask for Reform,
Were sabred by Yeomanry Cavalry,

who
Were thank'd by THE MAN,

all shaven and shorn,
All cover'd with Orders —

and all forlorn ;
THE DANDY OF SIXTY,

who bows with a grace.
And has taste in wigs, collars,

cuirasses and lace :
Who to tricksters and fools,

leaves the State and its treasure,
And, when Britain 's in tears,

sails about at his pleasure :
Who spurn'd from his presence

the Friends of his youth,
And now has not one

who will tell him the truth;
Who took to his counsels, in evil hour,
The Friends to the Reasons of lawless Power ;
That back the Public Informer, who
Would put down the Thing, that, inspiteof new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it, by Soldiers or Tax,
Vi'\\\ poison the Vermin, that plunder the Wealth
That lay in the House, that Jack built.



A POLITICAL

CHRISTMAS CAROL,

^et to jHufiic

TO BE CHAUNTED OR SUNG

THROUGHOUT THE UNITED KINGDOM AND THE

DOMINIONS BEYOND THE SEAS,

BY ALL PERSONS

THEREUNTO ESPECIALLY MOVED.



.^- - -^




" Go draw your quills, and draw six Bills,

" Put out yon blaze of lisrht." —

Carol.



THE CAROL.



To be Sling exactly as set.

f . ir



f r I ^~fi^^ - J^l^ E



a:



f»v-



^ — &■



God rest you nier ry Gen - tie - men, let no - thing you dis•



i i I



3^



■^3^



^P



^^



-•^4



may; Re - mem - ber we were Ipft a - live up - on last Christ-mas



HE



■»-



=S5^



.1. 1



1^^



i



ttzW:



ti



day. With both our lips at



^



li - ber - ty to praise lord



^



13



^-(•- . f -f:i



^



^



C li, For hU

-b— 1 — f*^



3



prac- li- cal com - fort and



TT



m



n — r



m



^H^



SlTi



joy, And joy: For his



ti-cal com . fort and joy!



He ' turn'd his back upon himself
And straight to ' Lunnun' came,

To two two-sided Lawyers
With tidings of the same,

That our own land must 'prostrate stand'
Unless we praise his name —

For his ' practical' comfort and joy!

" Go fear not," said his L p



" Let nothing you affright ;
" Go draw your quills, and draw six Sills,

" Put out yon blaze of light:
" I'm able to advance you,

" Go stamp it out then quite —

" And give me some * features' of joy!'



The Lawyers at those tidings

Rejoiced inucli in mind,
And left their friends a-staring

To go and raise the wind,
And straight went to the Taxing-men

And said " the Bills come find —

*' For ' fundamental' comfort and joy!'



The Lawyers found majorities

To do as they did say,
They found them at their mangers

Like oxen at their hay,
Some lying, and some kneeling down,

All to L d C h

For his ' practical' comfort and joy



With sudden joy and gladness

Rat G — ff — d was beguiled.,
They each sat at his L p's side,

He patted them and smiled ;
Yet C — pi — y, on his nether end,

Sat like a new borri Child, —

But without either comfort or joy !

He thought upon his Father,

His virtues and his fame,
And how that father hoped from him

For glory to his name,
And as his chin dropp'd on his breast,

His pale cheeks burn'd with shame : —
He'll never more know comfort or joy!



Lord C-



— h dotli rule yon House,
And all who there do reign ;
They've let us live this Christmas time —

D'ye think they will again ?
They say they are our masters —
That's neither here, nor there :

God send us all a happy new year I




End o! the Carol.



- THE DOCTOR. "




** His name's the Doctor."



A PVRODV WRITTEN BYTHK IMGHT HONORABLE;

GEORGE CANNING, M. P.



Lord FOLKESTONE confessed that there had been a smile on his countenance at one part
of the right honorable geuileman (Mr. CANNING)'s speech, and it seemed to him very ex-
traordinary, even after the reconciliation that had taken place, to hear the right honorable
jfeutleman stand up for the talents of that poor " Doctor" (Lord SIDMOUTH), who has so long
been the butt of his most bitter and unsparing ridicule (loud laughter and shoiits of hear ,
hear). Whether in poetry or prose, tlie great object of his derision, «nd that for want of ability
and sense, was the noble lord whom he (Mr. CANNING) had so strenuously defended that night;
and now forsooth, he wondered that any person could object to confide unlimited power in the
hands of a person, according to his own former opinions, so likely to be duped and misled
(hear, hear). Yes, the house would remember the lines in which, at different times, the right
honorable gentleman (Mr. CANNING), had been pleased to panegyrize his (Mr. CANNING's)
noble /rj£7irf (Lord SIDMOUTH) of which the following w«re not the worst:—
" I showed myself prime Doctor to the country;
My ends attain'd, my only aim has been
To keep my place, aud gild my humble name." —

(A loud laugh)
Yes, this was the view the right honorable gentleman had once drawn of his noble frieud, who
was then described by him thus : —

" Itly name's the Doctor; on the Berkshire hills," &c.

[See the Parody below for the remainder of Lord Folkestone'*
Qtwtation— For his Lordship's Speech, see Evans's Debates, 1817, p. 1568.]



M^ names THE DOCTOR; on the Berkshire hills
M^ father plugged his patients — a wise man,
Whose constant care was to increase his store,
And keep his eldest son — myself— at home.
But I had heard of Politics, and long'd
To sit within the Commons' House, and get
A place, and luck gave what my sire denied.



Some thirteen years ago, or ere my fingers
Had learn'd to mix a potion, or to bleed,
I flatter d Pitt: I ci'ing'd, and sneaked, andfaivnd^
And thus became the Speaker. I alone.
With pompous gait, and peruke full of wisdom,
Th' unruly members could control, or call
The House to order.

Tir'd of the Chair, I sought a bolder flight.
And, grasping at his power, I struck my friend,
Who held that place which now I've made my own.
Proud of my triumph, I disdain'd to court
The patron hand which fed me — or to seem
Grateful to him who rais'd me into notice.
And, when the King had call'd his Parliament
To meet him here conven'd in Westminster,
With all my fam'ly crowding at my heels.
My brothers, cousins, followers and ray son,
I show'd myself Prime Doctor to the country.

My ends attain d my only aim lias been
To keep my place — and gild my humble 7iamel




" Brother, brother, we are both in the wrong !" — Peach' cm and Lockit.



End of " The Doctor."



TO THE READER.



THE AUTHOR OF THE POLITICAL HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT,

perceiving the multitude of attempts at Imitation and Imposture, occasioned hy the
unparalleled sale of that Jeu d'Esprit, injustice to the public and to himself, respect-
fully states, that, induced by nearly forty years of the most confidential intimacy with
Mr. HONE, and by the warmest friendship and affection for him and his family, he
originally selected him for his publisher exclusively ; that he has not suffered, nor will
he suffer, a line of his writing to pass into the hands of any other Bookseller; and that
his last, and owing to imperative claims upon his pen of a higher order, possibly his very
last production in that way, will be found in The MAN I^ THE MOON.



^ale €ji:tra0rtiinarp.



FREEHOLD PUBLIC HOUSES;

Divided into Lots for the convenience of Purchasers.

TO BE SOLD by Mr. HONE, at his House, No. 45, Ludgate Hill, THIS DAY,
and following days until entirely disposed of,

AN EXTENSIVE UNENCUMBERED FREEHOLD PROPERTY, in

separate Lots. Each comprising a Capital well-accustomed bustling Free Public
House, most desirably situated, being tboronglily established in the very heart of
England, and called by the Name or Sign of " The House that Jack Built."
Served Forty Thousand Customers in the course of Six Weeks. Draws the
Choicest Spirits, and is not in the mixing or whine way.

The Featheis and Wellington Arms combining to injure this property by
setting up Houses of 111 Fame, under the same sign, the Public are cautioned
Hgainst them ; they are easily known from the original House by their Customers
being few in number, and of a description better understood than expressed..

The present is an undeniable opportunity to persons wishing to improve their
affairs, or desirous of entering into tlie public line ; there being no Fixtures and
the Coming-in easy

Immediate possession will be given in consideration of One Shilling of good
and lawful money of the Realm, paid to any of the Booksellers o< the United
Kingdom.

*:f.* May be viewed ; and Particulars had as above.



UNIVERSITY LITERATURE.— With Thirteen Cuts, pwce Is.

THE FORTY-SIXTH EDITION OF THE POLITICAL
HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT,

%* This Publication was entered at Stationers' Hail, and Copies were duly
delivered, according to Act of Parliament, one being for the British Museum;
yet it is held in such estimation by all ranks, from the mansion to the cottage,
including men of high classical and literary attainment, that it is coveted by
eminent and learned bodies for the purpose of being preserved and deposited iu
the other National Libraries, as appears by the follovring notice: —

(COPY.) London, Jan. 26, 1820.

Sir — I am authorised and requested to demand of you nine copies of the un-
dermentioned Work — The Political House that Jack Built — for the use
of the following Libraries and Universities: — Bodleian ; Cambridge; Sion Col-
lege ; Edinburgh; Advocates' Library, Edinburgh; Glasgow; Aberdeen;
St. Andrew's: Trinity College, and the King's Inns, Dublm.

I am. Sir, your obedient servant,

GEORGE GREENHILL,
Wareliouse-keeper to the Company of Stationers.
To Mr. WM. HONE, Ludgate-hill.

This " authorized" and official " demand" on behalf of the Universities and
Public Libraries, was immediately complied with; and to save those distin-
Kuiehed bodies the trouble of a similar application for " THE MAN IN THE
MOON," copies of that work were also sent with the copies of the Political
House that Jack Built, so demanded " for their use."

t.t A SUPERIOR EDITION OF THE POLITICAL HOUSE THAT
JACK BUILT, is now pithlished, printed on fine Vellum Drawing Paper, uitli the
Cuts handsomely COLOURED, Price 3s. — The same Edition plain, Price 28.



Withdrawn from the Press,

A LETTER TO THE SOLICITOR GENERAL.
By WILLIAM HONE.

*^* Since the announcement of this Publication, the attack of the Solicitor-
General upon the Juries of my Country has drawn down upon that Gentleman,
within the walls of Parhameut, such deserved animadversion as to render super-
fluous any inteiference on my part.

Two years hare elapsed since I broke away from the toils ; and it seems the
escape of the destined victim is never to be forgiven! The cause of which the
Solicitor-General is unexpectedly the gratuitous advocate, has taken appropriate
refuge in the snug precincts of Gatton. There let it wither!

The verdicts of my Juries require no other vindication than a faithful recital
of the grounds on which they were founded. From the period at which those
verdicts were pronouuced, and with a view to that viudication, I have been un-
remittingly employed in the collection and arransement of rare and curious
materials which the Solicitor-General's attack will induce me to extend to

A COMPLETE HISTORY OF PARODY.

This History I purpose to bring out, very speedily, with extensive graphic illus-
trations, aud I flatter myself it will answer the various purposes of satisfying the
expectations of my numerous and respectable subscribers — ofjustifying my own
motives in publishing the Parodies — of throwing a strong light upon the pre-
sumable motives of my prosecutors in singling me out from my Noble and Right
Honorable Fellow Parodists — of holding up Trial by Jury to the increased love
and veneration of the British People — and above all, of making every calumny
upon the verdicts of three successive, honorable, and intelligent Juries recoil upon
the slanderer, be he who he may, that dares to asperse them. W. HONE.

Ludgate-Hill, March, 1820.

Printed by W. Hone,
45, Ludgate-Hill.



RETURN CIRCULATION DEPARTMENT
T0»^ 202 Main Library



LOAN PERIOD
HOME USE



ALL BOOKS MAY BE RECALLED AFTER 7 DAYS


1

Online LibraryWilliam HoneThe Man in the moon &c. &c. &c. : With fifteen cuts → online text (page 1 of 2)