William Lee Howard.

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CONFIDENTIAL CHATS WITH GIRLS ***




Produced by Donald Cummings and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net









Confidential Chats with Girls




_BOOKS BY_
WM. LEE HOWARD, M.D.

FACTS FOR THE MARRIED
PLAIN FACTS ON SEX HYGIENE
CONFIDENTIAL CHATS WITH BOYS
CONFIDENTIAL CHATS WITH GIRLS




CONFIDENTIAL CHATS
WITH GIRLS

BY

WILLIAM LEE HOWARD, M.D.

Author of
“Plain Facts on Sex Hygiene,” “Confidential Chats with Boys,”
“Facts for the Married”


[Illustration]


New York
Edward J. Clode
Publisher




COPYRIGHT, 1911, BY
EDWARD J. CLODE




CONTENTS


CHAPTER PAGE
I. HOW TO DEVELOP INTO WOMANHOOD 3

II. A GENERAL CHAT 14

III. THE DISORDERS OF MENSTRUATION AND GENERAL HEALTH 32

IV. THE CARE OF THE SKIN AND COMPLEXION 51

V. NERVES AND THE NERVOUS GIRL 76

VI. HOW TO GET WILL POWER 89

VII. HOW TO KEEP ATTRACTIVE 99

VIII. SOME DON’TS 115




FOREWORD


The American girl from fourteen to eighteen years of age has been sadly
neglected in the most important and necessary part of her education.

Knowledge of unessentials and nursery physiology, along with a
smattering of academic teachings, have held her apart from a true
appreciation of her real value to herself and humanity. Physical
exercise and moral admonition have been given her, but not advice nor
instruction which was based upon the proper foundation――sex development.

Details of sex hygiene have been kept from her, and these, with the
care of woman’s greatest jewel, maternal possibilities through a
perfect sex growth, have all been left to chance and too often sad
experience.

The girl is no longer completely protected by the old home influences.
To-day she is out in the world alone, struggling for herself and
frequently for others. The high-school girl seems to be left in the
same whirlpool of moving men and things, and just now there are
unpleasant revelations of the fact that she needs care and instruction
more than her working sisters.

I have seen in private and hospital practice thousands of girls
whose health was ruined for life through ignorance or false ideas
concerning sex activities. The land is crowded with suffering wives and
broken-down girls whose woeful conditions are due entirely to ignorance
of sex hygiene and how to mentally and physically care for their sex
development.

If I can, by my humble efforts, stop the future mothers from suffering,
worry and ill health, from bringing their daughters up in a state of
criminal prudery, I shall be proof against the slings and arrows of the
fast-disappearing SHAM.

In these CONFIDENTIAL CHATS I tell in plain language and facts the
things that, had they been told to the girls of the last generation,
would have saved untold misery.

It is a pity that the facts and instruction which should come from a
mother and a father (due quite largely to their own ignorance), must be
sought elsewhere, but this being so, I intend that these Chats shall
supply what prudery and ignorance have denied the girls of to-day.

WILLIAM LEE HOWARD, M.D.




CONFIDENTIAL CHATS WITH GIRLS




CHAPTER I

HOW TO DEVELOP INTO WOMANHOOD


The little buds on the rosebushes seen in the warm spring days and
which later on in the early summer open to become the beautiful
flowers, are controlled and governed in their development by the same
laws of Nature that control your development from the little girl to a
budding girl, and then into the full blossoming woman.

Every living thing upon this earth is given life, growth and
development under laws that are the same for the girl, the woman, the
flowers, the fishes, the little birds. The supreme Power which controls
us and every living being has so regulated the way man, beasts, birds,
fishes and even flowers are kept on the earth for the increase and
progression of the world, that by a plain understanding of these laws
we can live and produce better and better men and women from generation
to generation.

If you will carefully think the matter over, you will soon realize that
every living thing around us is the result of the mating of the male
with the female. Roses marry and have little children just the same as
a man and woman. The little pussy willow, which so early in the spring
sends out its little babies in furry buds, had been married to a willow
man the year before. The sweet grapes you eat in the autumn are the
“fruit of the marriage” between a male grape and a female grape――that
is, the seeds. The little chicks hovering and hiding around the proud
mother hen have for their father the crowing cock.

Here is a good example of this absolute law of the supreme Power. If
you take a few chickens, all females, and keep them shut up until they
are young hens with no rooster ever disturbing their happiness, you
can never hatch chicks from the eggs of these hens. You may put these
eggs under a setting hen and she may sit there until the hens’ doomsday
and no life is possible in these eggs. Now at the same time shut up
chickens with a rooster, and when these chickens have grown to be hens
you will be able to hatch chicks from their eggs. If you take the eggs
from your first lot of hens and in a dark room examine their eggs, by
the aid of a candle, you will see only a clear egg. Now if you take an
egg from the lot of hens who have had the rooster for companionship
and hold it up to a candle, in a dark room, you will be able to see a
tiny black or brown spot about the size of a pin’s head. This is the
vital spot, the male seed which, upon entering the vital principle of
the female egg, at once begins to develop into a chick. Three weeks
under the warm body of the setting hen causes the development of the
chick from this tiny spot.

The little black spots you see in a mass of “frog spittle” are the
vitalizing――the life-giving――seed from the bullfrog. These male seeds
lie in the mass thrown out by the female frog. Placed in some quiet
pool of warm water, warmed by the sun, the hatching goes on until the
pollywogs are born. It is the same with the fishes, the turtles――every
living thing――the male seed must enter the eggs of the female
before life commences. The playful puppies, the fuzzy kittens, the
butterflies, the bees are all brought to life by the same principle.

Always keep in your mind that no matter what the different ways of
mating are, how the little flower children are born, how the puppies
grow before birth and then come into the world; they all are God’s
creations and made according to His laws. So being made according to
God’s laws, and we as human beings having absolutely nothing to do
with these laws, but are controlled by them, there can be nothing
wrong, indelicate or shameful in knowing all about these matters.

In fact, before we can have full reverence for God and obey His laws,
we must understand and know them, what they mean to us, how we are
punished and warned for disobeying these laws and the fearful results
following the abuse of our bodies and minds through ignorance of what
our bodies require and God demands.

As I have told you, every living thing, from flowers up to babies, is
produced by the meeting of the male seed with that of the female seed.
Every female, flower or woman, has a place to keep and hold these seeds
until they have grown to be babies of some kind.

Take the roses for example. When the big rose gets fully grown in the
latter part of the summer, the little yellow dust you see in the center
is the male seed. Botanists call these male flower seeds the pollen. At
about the same time that the male rose is “going to seed” the female
rose is ready to take this pollen into her receptacle. This male seed
is carried to the female rose’s womb, the name of the organ in all
females where the two kinds of seed meet and then grow into children.

The seed is carried into the rose’s womb by the wind, insects and
birds. When it is once deposited, the rose’s womb closes tightly, and
there the seeds of the two sexes remain and grow until in the spring
you see the little babies in the buds. These gradually grow, as you
know, from the little colorless buds to the small pink ones, and when
the warm summer-time comes they burst open to become full-grown male
or female flowers, and in the autumn these marry and the next spring
become fathers and mothers themselves.

It is the same throughout all Nature. Nothing can become a living thing
except through a marriage of the male with the female.

Let us take the little birds for another example. This will show you
how the young bird comes from an egg and is born almost the same way
that you and I were born――coming from an egg――for this is just what did
occur in our case.

The female birds, and all female animals, have what we call ovaries,
from the Latin _ovum_, meaning egg. These ovaries are placed, in the
birds and all animals, in the deep region of the groin, above the womb
in the animals which keep the eggs inside of themselves until the
babies are born. Of course, the birds, fishes and all their kind, do
not have a real womb, for the eggs are laid outside of their bodies
in a nest of some kind. This nest outside corresponds to the nest――the
womb――inside of the higher animals.

All eggs are formed in the ovaries; this is what the ovaries are for,
and at first they are tiny little spots seen only through a microscope.
At certain times, like the mating time of the birds, these eggs drop
down from the ovaries, ready to meet the male seed. When this is
accomplished the eggs at once begin to put on their shells, which,
of course, are only to protect the little growing birds while the
mother sits upon the eggs. As soon as the shell is formed the eggs are
deposited in the nest, and here the patient mother sits and waits for
the little ones to grow until ready to come out and see the wide world.

Then comes the pretty sight of the mother and father flying back and
forth from the nest, carrying some big worm or bug to feed the hungry
and crying babies. Both father and mother work like Trojans to keep the
stomachs of their little children filled, and if you will watch a pair
of robins trying to feed their nestful of children, you will say that
they are the greediest little things you ever saw.

And they have to be kept crammed with worms and bugs, because their
growth is rapid and they must get strength enough to fly and take care
of themselves before cold weather comes and to get away from cats,
snakes and other animals which want them for food.

And is it not a wonderful fact to contemplate when we know that these
little birds will fly a thousand miles to a warm climate for the
winter, and will fly the thousand miles on their return in the spring
and find their old tree, limb and identical spot where their old home
was? If these little birds are watched over by such wonderful laws,
what must be the care, laws and rules by which we are governed?

As the little birds come from a shell, after being developed through
the warmth of the mother’s body, just so do we, after lying in our
mother’s nest――the womb――come to be born, after we have been warmed and
developed for nine months. So you see that what I said about the laws
of God being the same for every living thing is the absolute truth.

The Springtime of the girl is when she commences to have her eggs form
in the ovaries and drop into her womb. She commences to bud at about
the age of fourteen years, and like the delicate buds of the flowers,
if care is not taken to protect her growth, ill-health follows and
she may so ruin herself that, when she marries, she is unable to be a
mother.

While it takes only one spring and summer to make a full-grown flower,
or even a robin, the girl needs twelve or fifteen years after she
is born to get into her budding age. And her future health, morals
and happiness all depend upon how the first four or five years of the
budding age is lived. And to live so that she will reach the highest
development of woman, the girl must understand all the laws of God and
live according to these laws.

It is my purpose in these Chats to show you these laws, as well as
to plainly point out to you how man and woman have constantly been
disobeying God’s words and how we are suffering in consequence of our
ignorance and disobedience.

Your ovaries are in place when you are born. Of course they are tiny
things and not developed. They remain inactive for many years after
you are born. But at about ten years of age the blood commences to
flow through them and they gradually develop, like the flower buds,
until they reach their ripeness. Of course this development varies in
different girls according to their nationality; those from the southern
countries developing earlier than those from a more rigid climate.
About fourteen years of age is the average age in this country.

When the ovaries are developed the womb has also grown, so that every
month it gets rid of blood that accumulates there. But at this
period the womb is a very tender organ, delicate, not fully fastened
to the ligaments from which it hangs, and any rough play, strain or
carelessness at the time of menstruation may ruin you for life.

Every girl should be proud of this budding process and care for it with
a heart full of thankfulness. Just see how the little budding trees and
flowers are cared for by a good gardener, how careful he is to assist
Nature, how by this reverence and thought the wild flowers are brought
under cultivation and by the means of the pure soil in which they
are planted, by protecting them from frost and harsh treatment, what
beautiful blossoms, scents and radiance results.

The laws of God make the wonderful growth and development possible,
but man, by acknowledging these laws and abiding by them, is able to
increase the beauty and usefulness of all growths.

It is just so with us. If we acknowledge the beneficent order which
controls us, if we reverently study to understand God’s intentions,
then we are aided in all we do to perfect our own development, moral
beauty and health. The reward we receive is in having children follow
us who have benefited by our reverential and knowing efforts. It is
only by such an attitude towards Nature that we progress. Shame of
our God-given gifts, studied ignorance of all His laws, the ignoring
of our powers for reproducing our kind, all mean a going backwards in
civilization. Disease, sin and debasement is certain to follow, and
does follow, for most of the misery, disease and poverty is due to
our past attitude in ignoring the details of the blossoming period of
girls, by allowing the process to go on, paying no attention to the
soil――associations and environments――of either the girl or the boy.

Everything in nature moves in cycles――that is, moves in regular
periods. The stars, the planets, the sun, the earth, the moon, the
tides, the seasons, all go and return at certain fixed intervals.
Growths of all kinds on this earth have their periods of birth,
development, death. The active periods of every living thing is
taken up with reproductive occurrences, or the getting ready for
reproduction. The female dog has her regular periods when she is ready
to be a happy mother, so do the pretty deer, the squirrels, the fishes,
everything. When the fishes’ regular period comes around in the spring,
we call it the spawning time, with the birds the pretty name of mating.
With the woman we call it the menstrual period, from the Latin word
meaning monthly.

A pure, honest woman, honest to herself and her God, can see nothing
but a wonderful provision of God for keeping the earth populated and
the opportunities for bringing man to a nearer understanding of his
Maker.

We need no orthodox religion to make man feel the essence of God within
him when he understands the laws under which he lives, and how by his
own efforts he can improve his powers and give greater ones to those
who have received his blood through a pure woman.

Such is every good and intelligent man’s thoughts, his inner feelings,
but only through a woman’s understanding of her greater powers in this
respect can we hope to bring future generations to a higher plane.

It is in order to aid you in avoiding the many illnesses which have
fastened upon women during the last thirty years or so, that I speak
so plainly in these Chats. I am obliged to say things and use words
that at first may seem a little indelicate, but if you have grasped the
fact that I am humbly trying to tell you the truth about God’s laws and
sincerely believe that I am doing right in so telling you, there will
be no misunderstanding about my motives.

So I shall take you at once into my confidence and let you be the
judge.




CHAPTER II

A GENERAL CHAT


The average American girl approaches puberty without any definite
knowledge of what a menstrual flow means. If you are one of these
neglected girls and have had a fright when you first menstruated, had
all kinds of stories put into your head, you must try to forget the
fright and realize that all the stories are really nothing but stories.
If you have passed over one or two periods after the first one made its
appearance, it does not mean that you are going to become crazy, that
something is wrong with you, but that the fright, the tales you have
heard and the sensitive condition at your age have all affected your
nervous system, and you will come out all right after you possess a
full knowledge of these things as we go on from Chat to Chat.

The average American girl commences to menstruate at about fourteen
years of age. Now if you have menstruated two years earlier or two
years later it means nothing but a condition of your race, how you have
lived, in the country or the excitements of the city, and other social
conditions. From the time a girl first menstruates she can count on
about thirty years of activity for the ovaries and womb. That is, if a
girl menstruates for the first time at fourteen years of age, she ought
not to have any cessation of the periods until she is forty-five years
of age. So you can see that the later she is in starting, the later she
will be in stopping. Of course the same thing happens when the girl
commences to menstruate earlier, she will stop earlier.

The ovaries are two little sack-like organs lying on each side, in the
pelvis, or the groin. From each ovary runs a little tube to the womb,
which is situated beneath them right in the middle of the body. Now
every month the ovaries send down the tubes a little egg which lands in
the upper part of the womb, and when the womb is full of blood, which
occurs every month in the healthy girl, this egg is carried away in the
blood.

I do not intend to talk to you about the process of procreation or
the physiology of conception; all these matters you may read about
in the many good books which have been written upon those subjects.
What I want to tell you are facts and things not to be found in books
and which will, if you guide yourself by them, make you a strong and
healthy woman throughout all your life.

From the time you first realize that you are no longer a little girl,
but growing into a woman, you should commence to take the best of care
of the ovaries and the monthly flow. These ovaries hang in the body by
very tender and delicate ligaments. Never mind the names the doctors
call these cords or other ligaments; we are always going to speak
in the simplest language, so that you may get a clear understanding
for the advice I shall give you. These ovaries are sensitive to all
movements of the body and to your emotions. Anger, outbursts of
indignation and wrong reading, all these produce an effect upon the
ovaries, especially so when your period is in full activity.

You may be a romping, strong girl with well-developed muscles and
bones and never had to be careful of what you did. But when the age
approaches where you begin to feel strange, somewhat timid, and have
new ideas and peculiar thoughts, when the old kind of rough exercise
tires your back, it means that your ovaries and womb are receiving more
than the usual amount of blood and are in no condition to be harshly
knocked about. At this time there may be slight bleeding from the nose,
for the first time a soreness of the breasts and nipples, a light
feeling in the head and a disposition to easily get out of patience
with your companions and things about you. When these many different
feelings come you may know that the ovaries are getting ready to prove
that you are a woman in the making.

Now remember that the monthly flow of blood does not come from the
ovaries, but from the inside of the womb. The ovaries make the eggs and
send these eggs down into the womb, as I have told you. When you are
married these eggs are made alive by the husband’s germ of life and
remain in the womb, growing for nine months, when the little babe is
old enough to be born and make you the happiest woman alive――that is
if you are in good health. As long as you are a virtuous girl the womb
cleanses itself every month. Of course this does not take place after
you are married, for if so, you can readily see that the blood would
carry away the egg. And it will do this even after you are married and
have a little live egg in you, if you have not taken care of both womb
and ovaries. This condition may become a regular habit, and then you
end in being the most miserable woman on earth.

Because these things have not plainly been told the girls is the cause
for so much injury being done to the womb and ovaries while growing.
You have not been warned that you should cease all rough play, active
sports, should not stand all day upon your feet nor dance late into
the night. Some girls have been brought up to be over-active at this
time just to prove that they will not acknowledge that there is any
change or difference in them. Nature always punishes such an insult
to her laws, and the teacher who places such ideas in the girl’s mind
is generally one whom Nature has already punished by denying her any
of the sweet and powerful instincts of woman. Have nothing to do with
these unfortunate and harmful creatures. You must assist Nature in her
attempts to make you a complete woman; give in to her by keeping quiet,
not fretting nor getting angry because you have to give up some dance
or basketball game. If you do not give up many of these pleasures when
you are a growing girl, you will have to give them up later on in life;
give them up forever.

For the first two years from the commencement of your first monthly
period you should be quiet, obtain plenty of sleep and good food and
take no exercise except walking, swimming and bending of the body in
your room night and morning. Skating is not injurious if it is not
overdone and you keep your feet dry and warm. Some girls have been
injured for life――though they did not know it at the time――by sliding
downhill on sleds. They were tossed off or ran into some post or fence
and were slightly bruised. Such a slight accident caused a rupture
or strain on the ovaries or womb, perhaps the tender ligaments were
stretched and the ignorant girl continued her play with them in this
condition.

Much of this advice may seem old-fashioned to you, but in all truth
it is advice founded upon the NEW experience and knowledge of all
physicians who have seen the havoc wrought by carelessness and
ignorance in these matters.

The womb, hanging by its delicate cords, is at this time in the girl’s
life growing rapidly and consequently receiving plenty of new blood.
It has not reached full development and it takes but little to put it
out of place and have it stay there. The ovaries may be so twisted and
put out of order that nothing can be done for them in later life but to


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