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Shakespeare's history of King Henry the Fourth (Volume 2) online

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brawling here?
Doth this become your place, your time, and business?
You should have been well on your way to York. —
Stand from him, fellow; wherefore hang'st upon him?

Hostess. O my most worshipful lord, an 't please
your grace, I am a poor widow of Eastcheap, and he
is arrested at my suit. 70

Chief-Justice. For what sum ?

Hostess. It is more than for some, my lord ; it is for
all, all I have. He hath eaten me out of house and
home, he hath put all my substance into that fat belly
of his, — but I will have some of it out again, or I will
ride thee o' nights like the mare.

Chief-Justice. How comes this. Sir John? Fie!
what man of good temper would endure this tempest
of exclamation? Are you not ashamed to enforce a
poor widow to so rough a course to come by her own?

Falstaff. What is the gross sum that I owe thee? 81

Hostess. Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thy-
self and the money too. Thou didst swear to me upon
a parcel-gilt goblet, sitting in my Dolphin-chamber, at
the round table, by a sea-coal fire, on Wednesday in



Scene I] Second Part of King Henry IV 49

Wheeson week, when the prince broke thy head for
hking his father to a singing-man of Windsor, thou
didst swear to me then, as I was washing thy wound,
to marry me and make me my lady thy wife. Canst
thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech, the butcher's 90
wife, come in then and call me gossip Quickly? com-
ing in to borrow a mess of vinegar, teUing us she had
a good dish of prawns ; whereby thou didst desire to
eat some ; whereby I told thee they were ill for a green
wound? And didst thou not, when she was gone down
stairs, desire me to be no more so familiarity with such
poor people, saying that ere long they should call me
madam? And didst thou not kiss me and bid me
fetch thee thirty shillings? I put thee now to thy
book-oath ; deny it, if thou canst. 100

Falstaff. My lord, this is a poor mad soul ; and she
says up and down the town that her eldest son is like
you. She hath been in good case, and the truth is,
poverty hath distracted her. But for these foolish
officers, I beseech you I may have redress against them.

Chief -Justice. Sir John, Sir John, I am well ac-
quainted with your manner of wrenching the true
cause the false way. It is not a confident brow, nor
the throng of words that come with such more than
impudent sauciness from you, can thrust me from a no
level consideration ; you have, as it appears to me,
practised upon the easy-yielding spirit of this woman,
and made her serve your uses both in purse and in
person.

2 HENRY IV — 4



50 Second Part of King Henry IV [Act il

Hosfess. Yea, in truth, my lord.

Chief -Justice. Pray thee, peace. — Pay her the debt
you owe her, and unpay the villainy you have done
her; the one you may do with sterling money, and
the other with current repentance.

Fahtaff. My lord, I will not undergo this sneap 120
without reply. You call honourable boldness impu-
dent sauciness ; if a man will make courtesy and say
nothing, he is virtuous. No, my lord, my humble
duty remembered, I will not be your suitor. I say to
you, I do desire deliverance from these officers, being
upon hasty employment in the king's affairs.

Chief -Justice. You speak as having power to do
wrong ; but answer in the effect of your reputation,
and satisfy the poor woman.

Fa/staff. Come hither, hostess. 130

Enter Gower

Chief Justice. Now, Master Gower, what news?

Gower. The king, my lord, and Harry Prince of
Wales
Are near at hand ; the rest the paper tells.

Falstaff. As I am a gentleman.

Hostess. Faith, you said so before.

Falstaff. As I am a gentleman. Come, no more
words of it.

Hostess. By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must
be fain to pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my
dining-chambers. 140



Scene I] Second Part of King Henry IV 51

Fahtaff. Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking ; and
for thy walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the
Prodigal, or the German hunting in water-work, is
worth a thousand of these bed-hangings and these fly-
bitten tapestries. Let it be ten pound, if thou canst.
Come, an 't were not for thy humours, there 's not a
better wench in England. Go, wash thy face, and
draw the action. Come, thou must not be in this
humour with me; dost not know me? come, come, I
know thou wast set on to this. 150

Hostess. Pray thee. Sir John, let it be but twenty
nobles ; i' faith, I am loath to pawn my plate, so God
save me, la !

Falstaff. Let it alone, I '11 make other shift ; you '11
be a fool still.

Hostess. Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my
gown. I hope you '11 come to supper. You '11 pay
me all together?

Falstaff. Will I live?— [71? BardoIpJi] Go, with
her, with her ; hook on, hook on. 160

Hostess. Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at
supper?

Falstaff. No more words ; let 's have her.

'[^Exeunt Hostess, Banlolph, Officers, and Boy.

Chief-Justice. I have heard better news.

Falstaff. What 's the news, my lord?

thief -Justice. Where lay the king last night?

Gower. At Basingstoke, my lord.



52 Second Part of King Henry IV [Act II

Fahtaff. I hope, my lord, all 's well; what is the
news, my lord?

Chief-Justice. Come all his forces back? 170

Gower. No ; fifteen hundred foot, five hundred
horse,
Are march'd uj) to my lord of Lancaster,
Against Northumberland and the Archbishop,

Falstaff. Comes the king back from Wales, my noble
lord?

Chief -Justice. You shall have letters of me presently. —
Come, go along with me, good Master Gower.

Falstaff. My lord !

Chief-Justice. What 's the matter?

Falstaff. Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me
to dinner? iSo

Gower. I must wait upon my good lord here ; I
thank you, good Sir John.

Chief Justice. Sir John, you loiter here too long,
being you are to take soldiers up in counties as you

go-

Falstaff. Will you sup with me. Master Gower?

Chief-Justice. What foolish master taught you these
manners, Sir John?

Falstaff. Master Gower, if they become me not, he
was a fool that taught them me. — This is the right
fencing grace, my lord, — tap for tap, and so part
fair. 192

Chief -Justice. Now the Lord lighten thee ! thou art
a great fool. \Exeunt.



Scene II] Second Part of King Henry IV 53

Scene II. London. Another Street
Enter Prince Henry and Poins

Prince. Before God, I am exceeding weary.

Foins. Is 't come to that? I had thought weariness
durst not have attached one of so high blood.

Prince. Faith, it does me, though it discolours the
complexion of my greatness to acknowledge it. Doth
it not show vilely in me to desire small beer?

Poins. Why, a prince should not be so loosely
studied as to remember so weak a composition.

Prince. Belike then my appetite was not princely
got; for, by my troth, I do now remember the poor 10
creature, small beer. But, indeed, these humble con-
siderations make me out of love with my greatness.
What a disgrace is it to me to remember thy name !
or to know thy face to-morrow ! or to take note how
many pairs of silk stockings thou hast, namely, these,
and those that were thy peach-coloured ones ! or to
bear the inventory of thy shirts, as, one for superfluity,
and another for use ! But that the tennis-court keeper
knows better than I, for it is a low ebb of linen with
thee when thou keepest not racket there, as thou hast 20
not done a great while, because the rest of thy low
countries have made a shift to eat up thy holland ;
and God knows whether those that bawl out the ruins
of thy linen shall inherit his kingdom.

Poins. How ill it follows, after you have laboured
so hard, you should talk so idly ! Tell me, how many



54 Second Part of King Henry IV [Act il

good young princes would do so, their fathers being
so sick as yours at this time is ?

Prince. Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins?

Pains. Yes, faith; and let it be ian excellent good
thing. 30

Prince. It shall serve among wits of no higher
breeding than thine.

Poins. Go to ; I stand the push of your one
thing that you will tell.

Prince. Marry, I tell thee, it is not meet that I
should be sad, now my father is sick ; albeit I could
tell to thee, as to one it pleases me, for fault of a bet-
ter, to call my friend, I could be sad, and sad indeed
too.

Poins. Very hardly upon such a subject. 40

Prince. By this hand, thou thinkest me as far in
the devil's book as thou and Falstaff for obduracy and
persistency ; let the end try the man. But I tell thee,
my heart bleeds inwardly that my father is so sick ;
and keeping such vile company as thou art hath in
reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrow.

Poins. The reason?

Prince. What wouldst thou think of me if I should
weep?

Poins. I would think thee a most princely hypocrite.
\ -^Prince. It would be every man's thought, and thou 50
art a blessed fellow to think as every man thinks.
Never a man's thought in the world keeps the road-
way better than thine ; every man would think me an



Scene II] Second Part of King Henry IV ^^

hypocrite indeed. And what accites your most wor-
shipful thought to think so?

Poins. Why, because you have been so lewd and
so much engraffed to Falstaff.

Prince. And to thee.

Poins. By this hght, I am well spoke on ; I can
hear it with mine own ears. The worst that they can 60
say of me is that I am a second brother and that I
am a proper fellow of my hands ; and those two
things, I confess, I cannot help. — By the mass, here
comes Bardolph.

Enter Bardolph and Page

Pri?ice. And the boy that I gave Falstaff; he had
him from me Christian, and look if the fat villain have
not transformed him ape.

Bardolph. God save your grace !

Prince. And yours, most noble Bardolph? 69

Bardolph. Come, you virtuous ass, you bashful
fool, must you be blushing? wherefore blush you now?
What a maidenly man-at-arms are you become !

Page. A' calls me e'en now, my lord, through a red
lattice, and I could discern no part of his face from
the window ; at last I spied his eyes, and methought
he had made two holes in the ale-wife's new petticoat
anJ peeped through.

Prince. Has not the boy profited?

Bardolph. Away, you whoreson upright rabbit, away !

Page. Away, you rascally Althaea's dream, away ! 80



56 Second Part of King Henry IV [Act 11

Prince. Instruct us, boy ; what dream, boy?

Page. Marry, my lord, Alth?ea dreamed she was
delivered of a fire-brand ; and therefore I call him
her dream.

Prince. A crown's worth of good interpretation. —
There 't is, boy.

Poins. O, that this good blossom could be kept
from cankers! — Well, there is sixpence to preserve
them.

Bardolph. An you do not make him hanged among 90
you, the gallows shall have wrong.

Prince. And how doth thy master, Bardolph?

Bardolpii. Well, my lord. He heard of your grace's
coming to town ; there's a letter for you.

Poins. Delivered with good respect; — And how
doth the martlemas, your master?

Bardolpii. In bodily health, sir.

Poins. Marry, the immortal part needs a physician,
but that moves not him ; though that be sick, it dies
not. 100

Prince. I do allow this wen to be as familiar with
me as my dog ; and he holds his place, for look you
how he writes.

Poins. [ Reads] 'John Falsfaff, knight,^ — every man
must know that, as oft as he has occasion to name him-
self; even like those that are kin to the king, for they
never prick their finger but they say, ' There 's some of
the king's blood spilt.' ' How comes that?' says he,
that takes upon him not to conceive. The answer is



Scene II] Second Part of King Henry IV 57

as ready as a borrower's cap, ' I am the king's poor no
cousin, sir.'

Prince. Nay, they will be kin to us, or they will
fetch it from Japhet. But to the letter.

Poins. [Reads] ' Sir John Fahtaff, knight, to the
son of the king, Clearest his father, Harry Prince of
Wales, greeting' — Why, this is a certificate.

Prince. Peace !

Poins. [Reads] ' I will imitate the honourable Ro-
mans in brevity; ' he sure means brevity in breath,
short-winded . ' /commend me to thee, I cotnmend thee, 120
ajid I leave thee. Be not too fajniliar with Poins ; for
he misuses thy favours so much that he swears thou art
to marry his sister Nell. Repent at idle times as thou
mayest; and so, farewell.

' Thine, by yea and no, which is as much as to
say, as thou usesthim. Jack Falstaff ay//A my
familiars, John with my brothers and sisters,
and Sir John with all Europe.''
My lord, I'll steep this letter in sack and make him

Cu,L It. T 'yr\

Prince. That 's to make him eat twenty of his
words. But do you use me thus, Ned ? must I marry
your sister?

Poins. God send the wench no worse fortune ! But
I never said so.

Prince. Well, thus we play the fools with the time,
and the spirits of the wise sit in the clouds and mock
us. — Is your master here in London ?



58 Second Part of King Henry IV [Act 11

Bardolph. Yea, my lord.

Prince, ^^'here sups he ? doth the old boar feed in
the old frank? Hi

Bardolph. At the old place, my lord, in Eastcheap.

Prince. What company?

Page. Ephesians, my lord, of the old church.

Prince. Sup any women with him?

Page. None, my lord, but old Mistress Quickly and
Mistress Doll Tearsheet.

Prince. What pagan may that be?

Page. A proper gentlewoman, sir, and a kinswoman
of my master's. 15°

Prince. Shall we steal upon them, Ned, at supper?

Poins. I am your shadow, my lord ; I '11 follow you.

Prince. Sirrah, you boy, — and Bardolph, — no word
to your master that I am yet come to town. There 's
for your silence.

Bardolph. I have no tongue, sir.

Page. And for mine, sir, I will govern it.

Prince. Fare you well ; go, — \_Exeiint Bardolph
and Page.\ How might we see Falstaff bestow himself
to-night in his true colours, and not ourselves be seen?

Poins. Put on two leathern jerkins and aprons, and
wait upon him at his table as drawers. 162

Prince. From a God to a bull? a heavy declension !
it was Jove's case. From a prince to a prentice? a
low transformation ! that shall be mine ; for in every
thing the purpose must weigh with the folly. Follow
me, Ned. {^Exeunt.



Scene III] Second Part of King Henry IV 59



Scene III. Warkworth. Before the Castle

Enter Northumberland, Lady Northumberland, and

Lady Percy

Noi-thumberland. I prithee, loving wife, and gentle

daughter,
Give even way unto my rough affairs ;
Put not you on the visage of the times.
And be like them to Percy troublesome.

Lady Northumberland. I have given over, I will speak

no more.
Do what you will ; your wisdom be your guide.

Northumberland. Alas, sweet wife, my honour is at

pawn ;
And, but my going, nothing can redeem it.

Lady Percy. O yet, for God's sake, go not to these

wars !
The time was, father, that you broke your word 10

When you were more endear'd to it than now,
When your own Percy, when my heart's dear Harry,
Threw many a northward look to see his father
Bring up his powers ; but he did long in vain.
Who then persuaded you to stay at home?
There were two honours lost, yours and your son's.
For yours, the God of heaven brighten it !
For his, it stuck upon him as the sun
In the grey vault of heaven, and by his light
Did all the chivalry of England move 20



6o Second Part of King Henry IV [Act il

To do brave acts ; he was indeed the glass

Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves.

He had no legs that practis'd not his gait ;

And speaking thick, which nature made his blemish,

Became the accents of the valiant,

For those that could speak low and tardily

Would turn their own perfection to abuse,

To seem like him ; so that in speech, in gait,

In diet, in affections of delight,

In military rules, humours of blood, 3°

He was the mark and glass, copy and book.

That fashion'd others. And him, O wondrous him !

O miracle of men ! him did you leave,

Second to none, unseconded by you,

To look upon the hideous god of war

In disadvantage, to abide a field

Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur's name

Did seem defensible ; so you left him.

Never, O never, do his ghost the wrong

To hold your honour more precise and nice 4°

With others than with him ! let them alone.

The marshal and the archbishop are strong ;

Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers,

To-day might I, hanging on Hotspur's neck.

Have talk'd of Monmouth's grave.

Northumberland. Beshrew your heart.

Fair daughter, you do draw my spirits from me
With new lamenting ancient oversights.
But I must go and meet with danger there,



Scene IV] Second Part of King Henry IV 6i

Or it will seek me in another place
And find me worse provided.

Lady Noi'thuinberland. O, fly to Scotland, 50

Till that the nobles and the armed commons
Have of their puissance made a little taste.

Lady Percy. If they get ground and vantage of the
king,
Then join you with them, like a rib of steel,
To make strength stronger ; but, for all our loves,
First let them try themselves. So did your son,
He was so suffer'd ; so came I a widow,
And never shall have length of life enough
To rain upon remembrance with mine eyes,
That it may grow and sprout as high as heaven 60

For recordation to my noble husband.

Northumbet'land. Come, come, go in with me. 'T is
with my mind
As with the tide swell'd up unto his height,
That makes a still-stand, running neither way.
Fain would I go to meet the archbishop.
But many thousand reasons hold me back. —
I will resolve for Scotland ; there am I
Till time and vantage crave my company. \_Exeunt.

Scene IV. London. The Boar's-head Tavern in East-
cheap. Enter two Drawers

I Drawer. What the devil hast thou brought there?
apple-johns? thou knowest Sir John cannot endure an
apple-john.



Si Second Part of King Henry IV [Act II

2 Drcnocr. Mass, thou sayest true. The prince once
set a dish of apple-johns before him, and told him
there were five more Sir Johns, and, putting off his
hat, said ' I will now take my leave of these six dry,
round, old, withered knights.' It angered him to the
heart ; but he hath forgot that.

1 Draiver. Why, then, cover, and set them down ; lo
and see if thou canst find out Sneak's noise. Mistress
Tearsheet would fain hear some music.

2 Drawer. Sirrah, here will be the prince and Mas-
ter Poins anon, and they will put on two of our jerkins
and aprons, and Sir John must not know of it ; Bar-
dolph hath brought word.

1 Draiver. By the mass, here will be old utis ; it
will be an excellent stratagem.

2 Drawe)'. I '11 see if I can find out Sneak. [_Exif.



Better Hostess and Doll Tearsheet

Hostess. V faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are 20
in an excellent good temperality ; your pulsidge
beats as extraordinarily as heart would desire, and
your colour, I warrant you, is as red as any rose, in
good truth, la ! But, i' faith, you have drunk too much
canaries ; and that 's a marvellous searching wine, and
it perfumes the blood ere one can say 'What's this?'
— How do you now?

Do//. Better than I was ; hem !

Hostess. Why, that 's well said ; a good heart 's
worth gold. Lo, here comes Sir John. 30



Scene IV] Second Part of King Henry IV 6,



T



Enter Falstaff

Fahtaff. [Singing] ' When Arthurfirst in court —
And was a worthy kifig.' — \^Exit i Drawer?\ — How
now, Mistress Doll !

Hostess. Sick of a calm ; yea, good faith.

Falstaff. So is all her sect; an they be once in a
calm, they are sick.

Doll. You muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you
give me?

Falstaff. You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.

Doll. I make them ! gluttony and diseases make 40
them; I make them not.

Hostess. By my troth, this is the old fashion ; you
two never meet but you fall to some discord. You are
both, i' good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts ; you
cannot one bear with another's confirmities. What the
good-year ! one must bear, and that must be you ; you
are the weaker vessel, as they say, the emptier vessel.

Doll. Come, I '11 be friends with thee, Jack ; thou
art going to the wars, and whether I shall ever see thee
again or no, there is nobody cares. 50

Re-enter i Drawer

I Draiuer. Sir, Ancient Pistol 's below, and would
speak with you.

Doll. Hang him, swaggering rascal ! let him not
come hither; it is the foul-mouthed'st rogue in
England.

Hostess. If he swagger, let him not come here.



64 Second Part of King Henry IV [Act II

No, by my faith ; I must live among my neighbours,
I '11 no swaggerers. I am in good name and fame
with the very best. — Shut the door; — there comes
no swaggerers here. I have not lived all this while 60
to have swaggering now. — Shut the door, I pray you.

Falstaff. Dost thou hear, hostess?

Hostess. Pray ye, pacify yourself, Sir John; there
comes no swaggerers here.

Falstaff. Dost thou hear? it is mine ancient.

Hostess. Tilly-fally, Sir John, ne'er tell me ; your
ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was be-
fore Master Tisick, the debuty, t' other day ; and, as
he said to me — 't was no longer ago than Wednesday
last — ' r good faith, neighbour Quickly,' says he — 70
Master Dumbe, our minister, was by then — 'Neigh-
bour Quickly,' says he, ' receive those that are civil ;
for,' said he, ' you are in an ill name.' Now a' said
so, I can tell whereupon ; ' for,' says he, * you are an
honest woman and well thought on, therefore take
heed what guests you receive ; receive,' says he, ' no
swaggering companions.' There comes none here ;
— you would bless you to hear what he said. — No,
I '11 no swaggerers.

Falstaff. He 's no swaggerer, hostess, a tame 80
cheater, i' faith ; you may stroke him as gently as a
puppy greyhound. He '11 not swagger with a Barbary
hen, if her feathers turn back in any show of resist-
ance. — Call him up, drawer. \_Fxit i Drawer.

Hostess. Cheater, call you him ? I will bar no hon-



Scene IVJ Second Part of King Henry IV 65

est man my house, nor no cheater, but I do not love
swaggering, by my troth ; I am the worse, when one
says swagger. — Feel, masters, how I shake ; look you,
I warrant you.

Doll. So you do, hostess. 90

Hostess. Do I ! yea, in very truth, do I, an 't were
an aspen leaf. I cannot abide swaggerers.

Enter Pistol, Bardolph, and Page

Pistol. God save you. Sir John !

Falstaff. Welcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol,
I charge you with a cup of sack ; do you discharge
upon mine hostess.

Pistol. I will discharge her, Sir John.

Falstaff. She is pistol-proof, sir; you shall hardly
ofTend her.

Hostess. Come, I '11 drink no proofs ; I '11 drink no 100
more than will do me good, for no man's pleasure, I.

Pistol Then to you. Mistress Dorothy ; I will
charge you.

Doll. Charge me ! I scorn you, scurvy companion.
What ! you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-hnen
mate ! Away, you mouldy rogue, away ! I am meat
for your master.

Pistol. I know you, Mistress Dorothy.

Doll. Away, you cut-purse rascal ! you filthy bung,
away ! by this wine, I '11 thrust my knife in your mouldy no
chaps, an you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away,
you bottle-ale rascal ! you basket-hilt stale juggler,

2 HENRY IV — 5



66 Second Part of King Henry IV [Act il

you ! Since when, I pray you, sir? God's light, with
two points on your shoulder? much !

Pistol. God let me not live but I will murther your
ruff for this.

Falstaff. No more, Pistol, I would not have you go
off here : discharge yourself of our company. Pistol.

Hostess. No, good Captain Pistol ; not here, sweet
captain. 120

Doll. Captain ! thou abominable damned cheater,
art thou not ashamed to be called captain ? An cap-
tains were of my mind, they would truncheon you out,
for taking their names upon you before you have
earned them. You a captain ! you slave, for what?
He a captain ! hang him, rogue ! he lives upon
mouldy stewed prunes and dried cakes. A captain !
God's light, these villains will mak? the word captain
odious ; therefore captains had need look to 't.

Bardolph. Pray thee, go down, good ancient. 130

Falstaff. Hark thee hither. Mistress Doll.

Pistol. Not I. I tell thee what, Corporal Bardolph,
I could tear her ; I '11 be revenged of her.

Page. Pray thee, go down.

Pistol. I '11 see her damned first ; to Pluto's damned
lake, by this hand, to the infernal deep, with Erebus
and tortures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I.
Down, down, dogs ! down, faitors ! Have we not Hi-
ren here?

Hostess. Good Captain Peesel, be quiet ; 't is very 140
late, i' faith. I beseek you now, aggravate your choler.



Scene IV] Second Part of King Henry IV 67

Pistol. These be good humours, indeed ! Shall pack-
horses
And hollow pamper'd jades of Asia,
Which cannot go but thirty mile a-day,


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