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William Shakespeare.

The comedy of As you like it

. (page 7 of 8)


Orlando. Speak'st thou in sober meanings ?

Rosalind. By my hfe, I do ; which I tender dearly, ^ though I
say I am a magician.^ Therefore put you in your best array ;
bid your friends ; for if you will be married to-morrow, you shall
and to Rosalind, if you will.

Enter SiLVius and Phebe.

Look, here comes a lover of mine and a lover of hers.

Phebe. Youth, you have done me much ungentleness,
To show the letter that I writ "^ to you.

Rosalind. I care not if I have ; it is vtxy study
To seem despiteful and ungentle to you.
You are there followed by a faithful shepherd ;
Look upon him, love him ; he worships you.

Phebe. Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love.

Silvins. It is to be all made of sighs and tears ;
And so am I for Phebe.
. Phebe. And I for Ganymede.

Orlando. And I for Rosalind.

Rosalind. And I for no woman.

Silvius. It is to be all made of faith and sendee ;
And so am I for Phebe.

Phebe. And I for Ganymede,

Orlando. And I for Rosalind.

Rosalind. And I for no woman.

Sih'ius. It is to be all made of fantasy,
All made of passion and all made of wishes,

1 " Tender dearly," i.e., value highly.

^ Under the provisions of statutes in force in England in Shakespeare's
time, the practice of witchcraft, magic, etc., was an offense punishable with
one year's imprisonment for the first conviction, and death and forfeiture of
goods for the second. 3 Old form of " wrote,"



SCENE iii.j AS YOU LIKE IT. 93

All adoration, duty, and observance,'

All humbleness, all patience and impatience,

All purity, all trial, all observance ;

And so am I for Phebe.

Phebe. And so am I for Ganymede.

Orlando. And so am I for Rosalind.

Rosalind. And so am I for no woman.

Phebe. If this be so, why blame you me to love you ?

Silvius. If this be so, why blame you me to love you ?

Orlando. If this be so, why blame you me to love you ?

Rosalind. Who do you speak to, " Why blame you me to
love you ? "

Orlando. To her that is not here, nor doth not hear,

Rosalind. Pray you, no more of this ; 'tis like the howhng of
Irish wolves- against the moon. — [To Silvius] I will help you, if
I can. — [To Phebe\ I would love you, if I could. — To-morrow
meet me all together. — [To Phebe\ I will marry you, if ever I
marry woman, and I'll be married to-morrow. — [To Orlando] I
will satisfy you, if ever I satisfi'd man, and you shall be married
to-morrow. — [To Silviiis] I will content you, if what pleases you
contents you, and you shall be married to-morrow. — [ To Orlando]
As you love Rosalind, meet.— [7^ Silvius] As you love Phebe,
meet; — and as I love no woman, I'll meet. — So fare you well;
I have left you commands.

Silvius. I'll not fail, if I live.

Phebe. Nor I.

Orlando. Nor I. [Exeunt.

Scene III. The Forest.
Enter Touchstone and Audrey.

Touchstone. To-morrow is the joyful day, Audrey ; to-morrow
will we be married.

1 Readiness to serve.

2 The howling of a pack of wolves is monotonous and dismal whenever
and wherever heard.



94 SHAKESPEARE. [act v.

Audrey. I do desire it with all my heart ; and I hope it is no
dishonest desire to desire to be a woman of the world. ^ Here
come two of the banish'd Duke's pages.

Enter two Pages.

First Page. Well met, honest gentleman.

Touchstofie. By my troth, well met. Come, sit, sit, and a song.

Second Page. We are for you ; sit i' the middle.

First Page. Shall we clap into't roundly, without hawking of
spitting or saying we are hoarse, which are the only 2 prologues
to a bad voice ?

Second Page. V faith, i' faith ; and both in a tune, like two
gypsies on a horse.

Song.

// was a lover and his lass,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino.
That o'er the green cornjield did pass

In the springtime, the only pretty ringtime.
When birds do sifig, hey ding a ding, ding;
Sweet lovers love the spring.

Between the acres of the rye,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey 7ioninOy
These pretty country folks would lie,

hi springtime, etc.

This carol they begatt that hottr,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey noninOy
How that a life was but a flower

In springtime, etc. i

And therefore take the present time.

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino;
For love is crowned with the prime

In springtime, etc.

^ " A woman of the world," i.e., a married woman.
2 " The only," i.e., only the.



SCENE IV.] AS you LIKE IT. 95

Toiuhstone. Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no
sreat matter in the dilty, yet the note was very untunable.

First Page. You are deceiv'd, sir ; we kept time, we lost not
our time.

Touchstone. By my troth, yes ; I count it but time lost to hear
such a foolish song. God be wi' you ; and God mend your
voices ! — Come, Audrey. [Exeunt.

^ Scene IV. The Forest.

£nt^rT)VKK Senior, Amiens, Jaques, Orlando, Oliver, ^w^'Celia.

Duke S. Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy
Can do all this that he hath promised ?

Orlando. I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not ;
As those that fear they hope, and know they fear.

^«/^r Rosalind, Silvius, ««
Rosalind. Patience once more, whiles our compact' is urg'd. —
You say, if I bring in your Rosalind,
You will bestow her on Orlando here ?

Duke S. That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.

Rosalind. And you say you will have her, when I bring her ?

Orlando. That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.

Rosalind. You say you'll marry me, if I be willing ?

Phebe. That will I, should I die the hour after.

Rosalind. But if you do refuse to marry me,
You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd ?

Phebe. So is the bargain.

Rosalind. You say that you'll have Phebe, if she will ?

Silvius. Though to have her and death were both one thing,

Rosalind. I have promis'd to make all this matter even. —
Keep you your word, O Duke, to give your daughter. —
You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter. —
Keep your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me,
Or else refusing me, to wed this shepherd. —



96 SHAKESPEARE. [act v.

Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her,

If she refuse me: — and from hence I go,

To make these doubts all even. \Exeunt Rosalind atid Celut.

Duke S. I do remember in this shepherd boy
Some lively touches of my daughter's favor.

Orlando. My lord, the first time that I ever saw him
Methought he was a brother to your daughter ;
But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born,
And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments
Of many desperate ^ studies by his uncle,
^^'hom he reports to be a great magician,
Obscured in the circle of this forest.

Enter Touchstone and Audrey.

Jaqiies. There is, sure, another flood toward,- and these couples
are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very strange beasts,
which in all tongues are called fools.

Touchstone. Salutation and greeting to you all !

Jaqiies. Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-
minded gentleman that I have so often met in the forest ; he
hath been a courtier, he swears.

Touchstone. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my
purgation. I have trod a measure ; ^ I have flatter'd a lady ;
I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy ;
I have undone three tailors ; I have had four quarrels, and like
to have fought one.

Jaques. And how was that ta'en up ? ^

Touchstone. Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon
the seventh cause.

Jaques. How seventh cause ? — Good my lord, like this fellow.

Duke S. I like hnn verv well.

Touchstone. God 'ild you, sir ; I desire you of the like. I press
in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives,^ to 3wear

1 Unlawful. 2 At hand. 3 Stately dance.

* Taken up, i.e., made up. 5 Candidates for marriage.



I



SCENE IV.] JS YOU LIKE IT. 97

and to forswear ; according as marriage binds and blood breaks.
A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favor'd thing, sir, but mine own ; a poor
humor of mine, sir, to take that that no man else will. Rich hon-
esty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house ; as your pear) in
your foul oyster.

Duke S. By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.'

Touchstone. According to the fool's bolt,- sir, and such dulcet
diseases.

Jaqices. But, for the seventh cause ; how did you find the
quarrel on the seventh cause ?

Touchstone. Upon a he seven times removed, — bear your
body more seeming,-^ Audrey, — as thus, sir. I did dislike the
cut of a certain courtier's beard ; he sent me word, if I said his
beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was ; this is call'd
the Retort Courteous. If I sent him word again it was not
well cut, he would send me word he cut it to please himself ;
this is call'd the Quip* Modest. If, again, it was not well cut,
he disabled my judgment ; this is call'd the Reply Churlish. If
again it was not well cut, he would answer, I spake not true;
this is call'd the Reproof Valiant. If again it was not well cut,
he would say, I Hed; this is call'd the Countercheck Quarrel-
some ; and so to the Lie Circumstantial and the Lie Direct.

Jaques. And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut ?

Touchstone. I durst go no further than the Lie Circumstantial,
nor he durst not give me the Lie Direct; and so we measur'd
swords and parted.

Jaques. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie ?

Touchstone. O sir, we quarrel in print, by the book, as you
have books for good manners. I will name you the degrees.
The first, the Retort Courteous ; the second, the Quip Modest ;
the third, the Reply Churlish ; the fourth, the Reproof Valiant ;
the fifth, the Countercheck Quarrelsome ; the sixth, the Lie with

1 " Swift and sententious," i.e., ready-witted.

2 " The fool's bolt is soon shot " is proverbial.

3 Seemly. â– * A quip is a gibe.

7



9 8 SHAKESPEARE. [act v.

Circumstance ; the seventh, the Lie Direct. All these you may
avoid but the Lie Direct ; and you may avoid that, too, with an
If. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel,
but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought
but of an If, as, "If you said so, then I said so;" and they
shook hands and swore brothers. Your If is the only peace-
maker ; much virtue in If.

Jaqiies. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord ? He's as good at
anything, and yet a fool.

Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking-horse,^ and under
the presentation of that he shoots his wit.

Enter Hymen, Rosalind, and Celia.

\Still music.
Hymen. Then is there mirth in heaven.
When earthly things made even

Atone together.2
Good Duke, receive thy daughter;
Hymen ^ from heaven brought her,

Yea, brought her hither,
That thou mightst join her hand with his
Whose heart within her bosom is.

Rosaliiid. [ To Duke] To you I give myself, for I am yours. —
[ To Or/aiido] To you I give myself, for I am yours.

Duke S. If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.

Orlando. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind

Phebe. If sight and shape be true,
Why, then, my love, adieu !

Rosalind. [To Duke] I'll have no father, if you be not he. —
[To Orlando] I'll have no husband, if you be not he. —
[To Phebe] Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she.

1 A stalking-horse is a horse, or the semblance of one, by means of which
the sportsman conceals himself from his prey.

2 " Atone together," i.e., harmonize. 3 Tlie god of marriage.



i



"ENE IV.]



AS YOU LIKE IT.



99



Hymen, Peace, ho ! I bar confusion.
'Tis I must make conclusion

Of these most strange events.
Here's eight that must take hands
To join in Hymen's bands,

If truth holds true contents'. —
You and you no cross shall part ;—
You and you are heart in heart ; —
You to his love must accord.
Or have a woman to your lord ; —
You and you are sure together.
As the winter to foul weather, —
Whiles a wedlock hymn we sing,
Feed yourselves with questioning ;
That reason wonder may diminish,
How thus we met, and these things finish.

Song.

Wedding is great Juno's cro'W7i ;

O blessed bond of board and bed!
' Tis Hymen peoples every town ;

High wedlock then be honored.
Honor, high honor and renown.
To Hymen, god of every town /

Duke S. O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me !•
Even daughter, welcome, in no less degree.

Phebe. I will not eat my word, now thou art mine;
Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.^



Enter Jaques de Bois.

Jaques de Bois. Let me have audience for a word or two.
I am the second son of old Sir Rowland,
That bring these tidings to this fair assembly.

1 Bind.



TOO SHAKESPEARE. [ACr V,

Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day
Men of great worth resorted to this forest,
Address'd ^ a mighty power ; which were on foot,
In his own conduct, purposely to take
His brother here and put him to the sword ;
And to the skirts of this wild wood he came.
Where meeting with an old religious man,
After some question 2 with him, was converted
Both from his enterprise and from the world,
His crown bequeathing to his banish'd brother,
And all their lands restor'd to them again
That were with him exil'd. This to be true,
I do engage my life.

Duke S. Welcome, young man;

Thou offer'st fairly to thy brothers' wedding.
To one his lands withheld, and to the other
A land itself at large, a potent dukedom.
First, in this forest let us do those ends
That here were well begun and well begot ;
And after, every of this happy number
That have endur'd shrewd "^ days and nights with us
Shall share the good of our returned fortune,
According to the measure of their states.
Meantime, forget this new-fall'n dignity,
And fall into our rustic revelry. —
Play, music ! — And you, brides and bridegrooms all,
With measure heap'd in joy, to the measures fall.

Jaques. Sir, by your patience. — If I heard you rightly,
The Duke hath put on a religious life
And thrown into neglect the pompous court ?

Jaques de Bois. He hath.

Jaques. To him will I ; out of these convertites^
There is much matter to be heard and learn'd. —
[ To Duke\ You to your former honor I bequeath ;

1 Made ready. - Discourse. 3 Evil. * Converts.



SCENE IV.] AS YOU LIKE IT. lOI

Your patience and your virtue well deserves it. —

\To Orlando] You to a love that your true faith doth merit. —

[To Oliver] You to your land and love and great allies. —

[To Sih'ius] You to a long and well-deserved bed. —

[To Touchstone] And you to wrangling; for thy loving voyage

Is but for two months victual'd. — So, to your pleasures;

I am for other than for dancing measures.

Duke S. Stay, Jaques, stay.

Jaques. To see no pastime I ; what you would have I'll stay
to know at your abandon'd cave. [Exit.

Duke S. Proceed, proceed ; we will begin these rites,
As we do trust they'll end, in true delights. [A dance.

Epilogue.

Rosalind. It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue;
but it is no more unhandsome than to see the lord the prologue.
If it be true that good wine needs no bush,i 'tis true that a good
play needs no epilogue ; yet to good wine they do use good
bushes, and good plays prove the better by the help of good
epilogues. What a case am I in, then, that am neither a good
epilogue nor cannot insinuate with you in the behalf of a good
play ! I am not furnish'd ^ like a beggar, therefore to beg will
not become me. My way is to conjure you ; and I'll begin with
the women. I charge you, O women, for the love you bear to
men, to like as much of this play as please you; — and I charge
you, O men, for the love you bear to women — as I perceive, by
your simpering, none of you hates them — that between you and
the women the play may please. If I were a woman "^ I would

1 "Good wine," etc. " It appears formerly to have been the custom to
hang a tuft of ivy at the door of a vintner. I suppose ivy was chosen rather
than any other plant as it has relation to Bacchus." (Steevens's note, quoted
by Furness.)

2 Dressed.

3 There were no actresses on the stage in England before the time of



ro2 SHAKESPEARE. [act v.

kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased me, complexions
that lik'd me,^ and breaths that I defied not ; ^ and, I am sure,
as many as have good beards or good faces or sweet breaths will,
for my kind offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell.

\Exeunt.

Charles II. Women's parts in plays were performed by men. Samuel Pepys
has this note in his Diary: " January 3, 1660. — To the theater, where was
acted The Beggar's Bush, it being very well done ; and here, the first time
that ever I saw a woman come upon the stage."

1 " That lik'd me," i.e., that I liked.

2 " That I defied not," i.e., that were not repulsive to me.



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