William Shakespeare.

The complete works of William Shakespeare, comprising his dramatic and poetical works online

. (page 89 of 222)
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in ICendal green, when it was so dark thou couldst
not see thy hand! come tell us your reason; What
sayest thou to this!

Pains. Come, your reason, Jaclc, your reason.

Fal. What, iipon compulsion! No; were I at
the strappado, or all the racks in the world, I would
not tell you on compulsion. Give you a reason on
compulsion! if reasons were as plenty as black-
berriffi, I would give no man a reason upon com-
pulsion, I,

P. Hen. I'll be no longer guilty of tliis sin; this
sanguifie cov/ard, this bed-presser, this horse-back-
breaker, this hugh hill of flesh;

Fa'. Away, you starveling, you elf-skin, yon
dried neat's tongue, bull's pizzle, you stock-lish,—
0, for breath to utter what is like thee!— you tai-
lor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile
Btandmg tuc_k;

P. Hen. Well, breathe awhile, and then to it
again: and when thou hast tired thj-self in base
comparisons, hear me speak but this.

Pnins. Mark, Jack.

P. Hen. We two saw you four set on four; you

bound them, and were masters of their wealth.

Mark now, how a plain tale shall put you down. —
Then did we two set on you four: and, with a
word, out-faced you from your prize, and have it;
yea, and can show it you here in the house: — and
Falstalf, you carried your guts away as nimbly,
with as quick dexterity, and roared for mercy, and
still ran and roared, as ever I heard a bull-calf. —
Wiiat a slave art thou, to hack thy sword as thou
hast done; and then say, it w,as in nght ! What
trick, what device, w-ha't starting-hole, canst thou
now find out, to hide thee from this open and ap-
parent shame!

Pnins. Come, let's hear, Jack; What trick hast
thou now !

Fal. By the Lord, I knew ye, as well as he that
made ye. Why, hear ye, my masters: Was it lor
me to kill the heir-appiircnt! Should I turn upon
the true prince ! Why, thou knowest, I am as val-
iant as Hercules: but beware instinct; the lion
will not touch the true prince. Instinct is a great
matter; I was a coward on instinct. I shall think
the better of myself and thee, during my life. I

5 A town in Westmoreland famous for making cloth.
' A round lump of fat.

for a valiant lion, and thou for a true prince. But,
by the Lord, lads, I am glad you have the money.

Hostess, clap to the doors; watch to-night,

pray to-morrow. — CJallants, lads, boys, hearts ol
gold, all the titles of good fellowship come to you !
What, shall we be merry! shall we have a play

P. Hen. Content;— and the argument shall bo
thy running away.

Fal. Ah ! no more of that, Hal, an thou lovcst

Enter Hostess.

Host. My lord the prince,

P. Hen. How now, my lady the hostess? wha
sayst thou to me!

Host. Marry, uiy lord, there is a nobleman of (he
court at door, would speak with you: he says, he
comes iVom your father.

P. Hen. Give liim as much as will make him a
royal man, and send him back again to my mother.

Fal. What manner of man is he!

Host. An old man.

Fal. What dolh gravity out of his bed at mid-
night! — Siiall 1 give him his answer!

P. Hen. I'r'ytlice, do. Jack.

Fal. Faith, and I'll send him packing. [Exit.

P. Hen. Now, .sirs; by'r lady, you fought fair; —
so did you, Peto; so did you Bardolph: you are
lions too, you ran away upon instinct, j'ou will not
touch the true prince; no, — fye!

Bard. 'Faith, I ran when I saw others run.

P. Hen. Tell me now in earnest, how came Fal-
slaft's sword so hacked !

Peto. Why, he hacked it with his dagger; and
said, he would swear truth out of England, but he
would make you believe it was done in fight; and
persuaded us to do the like.

Baril. Yea, and to tickle our noses with spear-
grass to make them bleed: and then to beslubber
our garments with it, and to swear it was the blood
of true men. I did that I did not 'this seven years
before, I blushed to hear his monstrous devices.

P. Hen. O, villain, thou stolest a cup of sack
eighteen years ago, and wert taken with the man-
ner,* and ever since thou hast blushed extempore:
Thou hadst fire and sword on thy side, and yet thou
ran'st away; What instinct hadst thou for it!

Bard. My lord, do you see these meteors! do you
behold these exhalations!

P. Hen. I do.

Bard. What think you they portend!

P. Hen. Hot livers "and cold purses.'

Bard. CJiolcr, my lord, if rightly taken.

P. Hen. No, if rightly taken, halter.

Re-enter FALaxAFP.

Here comes lean Jack, here comes bare-bone. How
now, my sweet creature of bombast!' How long
is't ago, Jack, since thou sawest thine own knee!

Fal. My own taiee! when I was about thy years,
Hal, I was notan eagle's talon in the waist; "I could
have crept into any alderman's thumb-ring: A
plague of sighing and grief! it blows a man up like
a bladder. There's villainous news abroad: here
was sir Jolm Bracy from your fiither; you must to
the court in the morning. That same mad fellow
of the north, Percy; and he of Wales, that gave
Amaimon' the bastinado, and made Lucifer cuck-
old, and swore the devil his true liegeman upon
the cross of a Welsh hook, — What, a plague, cali
you him!

Poins. 0, Glendower.

Fal. Owen, Owen ; the same ; — and his son-in-law,
Mortimer; and old Northumberland; and that
sprightly Scot of Scots, Douglas, that runs o'horse-
back up a hill perpendicular.

P. Hen. He that rides at high speed, and with
his pistol kills a sparrow flying.

Fat. You have hit it.

P. Hen. So did he never fJie sparrow.

Fal. Well, tliat rascal hath good mettle in liim;
he will not run.

P. Hen. Why, what a rascal art thou then, to
praise him so for running!

*Tn the fact. ^Drunkenness and poverty

"Uomliast is the stuffing of clothes.
' A (lemon ; who is iloscrihed as one of the four kingf,
who rule over all the demons in the world.

Scene IV.



Fat. O'horseback, ye cuckoo! but afoot, he will
not bud^e a foot.

P. Hen. Yes, Jack, upon instinct.

Fal. I grant ye, upon instinct. Well, he is there
too, and on Mordake, and a thousand blue-caps'
more: Worcester is stolen away to-night; tiiy la-
ther's beard is turned white with the news; you
may buy land now as cheap as stinldng mackerel.

J. lien. Why then, 'tis like, if there come a hot
June, and this civil bufteting hold, we shall buy
maidenlicads as they buy hob-nails, by the hundred.

Fat. By the mass lad, thou sayest true; it is like,
we shall "have good trading that way. — But tell me,
Hal, art thou not horribly afeard? thou being heir-
apparent, could the world pick thee out three such
enemies again, as that ticnd Douglas, that spirit
Percy, and that devil Glendowerf Art thou not
horribly afraid^ doth not thy blood thrill at it!

P. Hen. Not a whit, i'faith; I lack some of thy

Fat. Well, thou wilt be horribly chid to-moiTow,
when tiiou comest to thy father: if thou love me,
practise an answer.

P. Hen. Do thou stand for my flither, and ex-
amine nic upon the particulars of my life.

Ffil. Shall n content: — This chair shall be my
state, tiiis dagger my sceptre, and this cushion my

P. Hen. Thy state is taken for a joint-stool, thy
golden sceptre for a leaden dagger, and thy precious
rich crown, for a pitiful bald crown.

Fed. Well, an the fire of grace be not quite out
of thee, now shalt thou be moved. — Give me a cup
01' sack, to make mine eyes look red, that it may be
tliought 1 have wept ; lor I must speak in passion,
and I will do it in king Cambyses'" vein.

P. Hen. Well, here is my leg.'

Fal. And here is my speech :— Stand aside, no-

Host. This is excellent sport, i'faith.

Fal. ^\'eep not, sweet queen, for trickling tears
are vain.

Host. O, the father, how he holds his counte-
nance !

Fal. For God's sake, lords, convey my tristful
For tears do stop the flood-gates of her eyes.

Host. (( rare! he doth it as like one of these har-
lotry players, as I ever sec.

Fal. P.-ace, good pint-pot; peace, good tickle-
brain.'' — liarry, I do not only mar\'el where thou
spendest thy time, but also now thou art accom-
panied : for though the camomile, the more it is
trodden on, the faster it grows, yet youth, the more
it is wasted, the sooner it wears. That thou art my
son, I have partly thy mother's word, partly my own
opinion; but chiefly, a villainous trick of thine eye,
and a foolish hanging of thy nether lip, that doth
warrant me. If then thou be son to me, here lies
the point; — Why, being son to me, art thou so
pointed atl Shall the blessed sun of heaven prove
a mieher,s ,and cat blackberries! a question not to
be asked. Shall the son of England prove a thief
and take purses'! a question to be asked. There
Ls a thine. Harry, which thou hast orten heard of,
and it is known to many in our land by the name
of pitch: this pitch, as ancient writers do report,
doth defile; so doth the comp.any thou keep'st:
for, Harry, now, I do not speak to thee in drink,
but in tears; not in pleasure, but in passion; not
in words only, but in woes also: — And yet there is
a virtuous man, whom I have often no"ted in thy
company, but I know not his name.

P. Hen. What manner of man, an it like your
majesty !

Fat. A good portly man. i'faith, and a corpulent ;
of a cheerful look, a pleasing eye, and a most noble
can-iage; and, as I think, his age some fifty. or by'r-
lady, inclining to three-score; and now I remember
me, his name is Falstatl': if tliat man should be
lewdly given, he deceiveth me; for, Harry, I see
virtue in his looks. It then the tree may be knowTi
by the fruit, as the fruit by the tree, then, peremp-
torily I speak it, there is virtue in that Falstafl': him
keep with, the rest banish. And tell me now, thou

6 Scotamen in blue bonnets.

•.\. character in a tragedy hy T. Preston, I5T0.

' Olieisaiice. "Name of a strong liquor.

^ A truant boy.

naughty varlet, tell me, where hast thou been thia
mouth ;

P. Hen. Dost thou speak like a king'! Do thou
stand for me, and Til play Diy father.

Fal. Depose me! if thou dost it half so gravely,
so m.ajcstically, both in word and matter, hang me up
by the heels for a rabbit-sucker, or a poulter'share

P. Hen. Well, here I am set.

Fal. And here I stand: — ^judge, my masters.

P. Hen. Now, Harry? whence came you?

Fal. My noble lord, from Eastclieap.

P. Hen. The com plaints I hear of thee are grievous,

Fal. 'Sblood, my lord, they are liilse :-^nay , I'
tickle ve for a j'oung prince, i'faith.

P. lien. Swearest thou, ungracious boy? hence-
forth ne'er look on me. Thou art violently carried
away from grace: there is a devil haunts thee, in
the likeness of a fat old man : a tun of man is thy
companion. Why dost thou converse with that
trunk of humors, that bolting-hutch' of beastliness,
that swoln parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard*
of sack, that stufi'ed cloak bag of guts, that roasted
Manningtree' ox with the puddmg in his belly,
that reverend vice, that grey iniquity, that lather
ruflian, that vanity in years? Wiicrein is he good,
but to taste sack and drink it? wherein neat and
cleanlj', but to carve a capon and eat it? wherein
cunning, but in craft? wherein craft}', but in vil-
lainy? wherein villainous,butin all thiiigs! wherein
worthy, but in nothing?

Fal. I would your grace would take me with
you; whom means your grace?

P. Hen. That villainous abominable misleader
of youth, Falstaff. that old white-bearded Satan,

t'al. My lord, the man I know.

P. Hen. I know thou dost.

Fal. But to say, I kTiow more harm in him than
in myself, were to say more than I know. That lie
is old (the more the pity) his white hairs do witness
it: but that he is (saving your reverence) a whore-
master, that I utterly deny. If sack and sugar be a
fault God help thew'icked! If to be old and merry
be a sin, then many an old host that I know, is
damned: if to be fat be to be hated, then Pharaoh's
lean kine are to be loved. No, my good lord; ban-
ish Peto, banish Bardolph, b.inish Poins: but for
sweet Jack Falstatf, kind Jack Fahtalf, true Jack
Falstafl', valiant Jack Falstatf. and therclore more
valiant, being as he is, old Jack Falstatf, banish not
him thy Harry's company; banish plump Jack,
and banish all the world.

P. Hen. I do, I will. [A knocking heard.

[Exeunt Hostess, Francis, and Bardolph.
Re-enter Bakdolph, running.

Bard. O, my lord, my lord; the sherilT with a
most monstrous watch, is at the door.

Fal. Out, you rogue! play out the play: I have
much to say in the behalf of that Falstall'.
Re-enter Hostess, hastily.

Hmt. Jesu, my lord, my lord ! —

Fat. Heigh ! heigh ! the devil rides upon a fiddle-
stick: Wliat's the matter?

Host. The sherifl' and all the watch are at the
door: they are come to search the house. Shall I
let them in?

Fal. Dost thou hear, Hal? never call a true piece
of gold, a counterfeit: thou art essentially mad,
without stjeming so.

P. Hen. And thou a natural coward, without

Fal. I deny your major; if you will deny the
sheriff, so; if not, let him enter: if I become not a

cart as well as another man, a plague on my brin:
ing up! I hope. I " '"
halter, as another.

ing up! I hope. I shall as soon be stran

1 my br:
gled wi


P. Hen. Go, hide thee behind the arras; — the rest
walk up above. Now, my masters, for a true face,
and good conscience.

Fal. Both which I have had: but their date U
out, and therefore I'll hide me.

[Exeunt all but the Prisce and Poiss.

P. Hen. Call in the sheiifl'.—

Enter Sheriff and Carrier.
Now, master sheriflT: What's your will with me!

* The machine which separates flour from bran.

"^ A leather black-jack to llold beer.

« In Essex, where a large ox was roasted whole.



Act III.

Shcr. First, pardon rae. my lord. A hue and cry
Hath tbllow'd certain men into tliis house.

P. Hen. Wliat men !

Sficr. One otthem is well knovvn,my gracious lord,
A gross fat man.

Car. As fat as butter.

P. Hen. The man, I do assure you, is not here;
For I myself at this time have employ'd him.
And, sherit!', I will engage my word to thee,
That I will, by to-morrow dinner-time,
Send him to answer thee, or any man.
For any thing he shall be charged withal:
And so let me entreat you leave the house.

Sher. I will, my lordr There are two gentlemen
Have in this robbery lost three hundred marks.

P. Hen. It may be so: ithehaverobb'd these men,
He shall be answerable ; and so, farewell.

Sher. Good night, my noble lord.

P. Hen. I think it is "good-morrow; Is it not?

Sher. Indeed, my lord, I think it be two o'clock.
[Exeunt SheriQ.' and Carrier.

P. Hen. This oily rascal is known as well as
Paul's. Go call him forth.

Poins. Falstaff! — fast asleep behind the arras,
and snorting like a horse.

P. Hen. Hark, how hard he fetches breath:
Search his pockets. [Poixs searches.] What hast
thou found?

Poins. Nothing but papers, ray lord.

P. Hen. Let's see what they be: read them.

Pains. Item, A capon, is. id.
Item, Sauce, id.
Item, Sack, two gallons, 5s. Sd.
Item, Anchovies, and sack after supper, 2s. Gd.
Item, Bread, a half-penny.

P. Hen. monstrous! but one half-pennyworth
of bread to this intolerable deal of sack!— What
there is else, keep close ; we'll read it at more ad-
vantage; there let him sleep till day. I'll to the
court "in the morning: we must all to the wars, and
thy place sliall be honorable. I'll procure this fat
rogue a charge of foot; and, I know, his death will
be a march of twelve-score. Tlie money shall be
paid back again with advantage. Be with me be-
times in the morning; and so good-morrow, Poins,

Poins. Good-morrow, good my lord. [Exeunt,


SCENE I. — Bangor. A Room in the Archdeacon's

Enter Hotspce, Worcesteh, Mortimer, and Glex-


Mart. These promises are fair, the parties sure,
And our induction full of prosperous hope.

Hot. Lord Mortimer — and cousin Glendower —
Will you sit down? —
And, uncle Worcester:— A plague upon it!
I have forgot the map.

Glend. No, here it is.

Sit, cousin Percy; sit, good cousin Hotspur:
For by that name as oft as Lancaster
Doth speak of you, his cheek looks pale: and, with
A rising sigh, he wisheth you in heaven.

Hot. And you in hell, as often as he hears
Owen Glendower spoke off.

Glend. I cannot blame him ; at my nativity
The front of heaven was full of tiery shapes,
Of burning cressets:' and at my birth.
The frame and huge foundation of the earth
Shak'd like a coward.

Hot. Why, so it would have done

At the same season, if your mother's cat had
But kitten'd, though yourself had ne'er been born.

Glend. I say. the earth did shake when I was born.

Hot. And I say, the earth was not of my mind.
If you suppose, as fearing you it sliook.

Glend. The heavens were all on Are, the earth
did tremble.

Hot. O, then the earth shook to see the heavens
on fire.
And not in fear of your nativity.
Diseased nature oftentimes breaks forth
In strange eruptions: oft the teeming earth
Is with a kind of colic pinch'd and vex'd
By the imprisoning of unruly wind
Within her womb; which, for enlargement striving.
Shakes the old beldame earth, and topples* down
Steeples, and moss-grown towers. .A.t your birth.
Our grandam earth, having this distemperature,
In passion shook.

Glend. Cousin, of many men

I do not bear these crossings. Give me leave
To tell 5'ou once again, — that at my birth,
The iront of heaven was full of fiery shapes;
The goats ran from the moimtains, and the herds
Were strangely clamorous to the frighted fields.
These signs have mark'd me extraordinarj';
And all the courses of my life do show,
I am not in the roll of common men.
Where is he living, — clipp'd in with the sea
That chides the banks of England, Scotland,

Which calls me pupil, or hath read to me?
And bring him out, tliat is but woman's son,

'Lights set cross-ways upon beaeong. and also upon
poles, which were used in processions, <&c. ^ Tumbles,

Can trace me in the tedious ways of art,
And hold me pace in deep experiments.

Hot. I think there is no man speaks better
I will to dinner.

Mort. Peace, cousin Percy; you will make him

Glend. I can call spirits from the vasty deep.

Hot. Why, so can I; or so can any man:
But will they come, when you do call for them?

Glend. Why, I can teach you, cousin, to command
The devil.

Hot. And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the


By telling truth ; Tell truth, and shame the devil.—

If thou have power to raise him, bring him hither,

And I'll be sworn, I have power to shame him

O, while you live, tell truth, and shame the devil.

Mort. Come, come.
No nrore of this unprofitable chat.

Glend. Three times hath Harry Bolingbroke made
Against my power: thrice from the banks of Wye,
And sandy-bottom'd Severn, have I sent him,
Bootless home, and weather-beaten back.

Hot. Home without boots, and in foul weather too!
How 'scapes he agues, in the devil's name?

Glend, Come, here's the map; Shall we divide
our right,
According to our three-fold order ta'en?

■ M(n-t. The archdeacon hath divided it
Into three limits, very equally:
England, from Trent and Severn hitherto.
By south and east, is to my part assign'd:
All westward, Wales beyond the Severn shore,
And all the fertile land within that bound.
To Owen Glendower:— and dear coz, to you
Till* remnant northward, lying off from Trent:
And our indentures tripartite are drawn:
W'liicli being scaled interchangeably,
(A business that this night may execute,)
To-morrow, cousin Percy, you, and I,
And my good lord of Worcester, will set forth.
To meet your father, and the Scottish power,
As is appointed us, at Shrewsbury.
My father Glendower is not ready yet,
Nor sliall we need his help these fourteen days:
Within that space, [7d Gle.n'd.] you may hare

drawn together
Your tenants, friends, and neighboring gentlemen.

Glend. A shorter time shall send mo to you,
And in my conduct shall your ladies come:
From whom you now must steal, and take no leave;
For there will be a world of water shed,
Ujion the parting of your wives and you.

Hut, Methinks, my moiety, north from Burton
In quantity equals not one of yours:

Scene I.



See, how this river comes rae cranking in,
And cuts me, from the best of all my land,
A hus;o half moon, a monstrous cantlc* out.
rU have the current in this place daran'd up;
And here the smug and silver Trent shall run,
In a new channel, iiiir and evenly:
It shall not wind witli such a deep indent,
To rob me of so rich a bottom here.

Glencl. Not wind] it shall, it must; you see, it

Muii. Yea,
But mark, how he bears his course, and runs me up
With like advantage on tlie other side;
Gelding' the opposed continent as much,
As on the other side it takes from you.

IVoi: Yea, but a little charge will trench him
And on this north side win this cape of land;
And then he runs straight and even.

}Iof. rU have it so; a little charge will do it.

Glend. I will not have it alter'd.

Hnf. Will not you !

Oknd. No, nor you shall not.

hut. Who shall say me nay ;

lileml. Why that will I.

not. Let me not understand you then,

S])eak it in Welsh.

Glend. I can speak English, lord, as weU as you;
For 1 was train'd up in the English court:
Where, being but young, I framed to the harp
Many ;in English ditty, lovely well.
And tcavc tlie tongue a helpful ornament;
A virtue tliat was never seen in you.

Hot. Marry, and I'm glad of it with all my heart:
I had rather be a kitten, and cry— mew,
Tlian one of these same metre ballad-mongers:
I had rather hear a brazen canstick' turn'u,
Or a dry wheel grate on an axle-tree;
And lliat would set my teeth nothing on edge,
Nothing so much as nimcing poetry;
'Tis like the forced gait of a shuffling nag.

Gltnd. Come, you shall have Trent turn'd.

Hot. I do not care : I'll give thrice so much land
To any well-deserving friend;
But, in the way of bargain, mark ye me,
I'll cavil on the nintli part of a hau-.
Are tlie indentures drawn 1 shall we he gone?

Glenil. The moon sliines fair, you may away by
I'll haste the wTiter, and. withal,
Break= with your wives of your departure hence:
I am afraid, my daughter will run mad,
So much she dotetli on her Mortimer. [Ex^il.

Mart. Fye, cousin Percy! how you cross my

Hot. I cannot choose : sometimes he angers mc.
With telling me of llie moldwarp' and tlie ant,
Of tlie dreamer Merlin and his prophecies;
And of a dragon and a tinlcss fish,
A clip-wing"d griffin, and a moulten raven,
A cuucliing lion, and a ramping cat,
And sucli a deal of skimble-skamble stuff
As puis me from my laitli. I tell jou what, —
He held inc. but last night, at least nine hours,
In reckoning up tlie several devils' names,
Tlicre were his lacqueys: I cried, humph,— and

well.— go to, —
But mark'd him not a word. 0, lie's as tedious
As is a tired iiorse, a railing wite;
Worse than a smoky house: — I had rather live
With cheese and garlick, in a windmill, tar,
Than feed on cates, ai)d have him talk to mc,
In any summer-house in Christendom.

Moi-t. In faith, he is a worthy gentleman;
Exceedingly well read, and profited
In strange concealments; valiant as a lion,
And wonJious atlable: and as bountiful
As mines of India. Shall I tell you, cousin?
llo liLilils your temper in a high respect.
Anil curbs himself even of his natural scope.
When you do cross his humor; faith, he dues:
I \\ lurant you, that man is not alive,
IMIi^ht so have tempted him as you have done,
Without the taste of danger and reproof;
But do not use it oft, let me entreat you.

IVoi: In faith, my lord, you are too wilful-blame;
And since your coming hither have done enough

•Corner. 'Cutting.

*Ureak the matter.

s Candlestick.


To put him quite beside his patience;

You must needs learn, lord, to amend this fault:

Though sometimes it show greatness, courage

(And that's the dearest grace it renders you,)
Y'et oftentimes it doth present harsh rage,
Defect of manners, want of government.
Pride, haughtiness, opinion, and disdain:
The least of which, hamiting a nobleman,
Loseth men's hearts; and leaves behind a stain
Upon the beauty of all parts besides,
Beguiling them of commendation.
jlut. Well, I am school'd; good maimers be youi
speed !
Here comes our wives, and let us take our leave.

Re-enter Glesdoweh, luil/t the Ladies.

Mm-t. This is the deadly spite that angers me,—
My wile can speak no English, I no Welsh.
Gtend. My daughter weeps; she will not part
with you,
Slie'U be a soldier too, she'll to the wars.

Online LibraryWilliam ShakespeareThe complete works of William Shakespeare, comprising his dramatic and poetical works → online text (page 89 of 222)