Your master's mistress.
Oli, A sister? — you are she.
Re-enter Fabian, with Malvouo.
Duke, Is this the madman ?
Olu Ay, my lord, this same :
How now, Malvolio ?
Mai, Madam, you have done me wrong,
Notorious wrong.
Oli, Have I, Malvolio ? no.
Digitized by Google
i82 TWELFTH NIGHT; act v.
Mai, Lady, you have. Pray yott, peruse that
letter:
You must not now deny it is your hand, —
Write fixjm it, if you can, in hand, or phrase ;
Or say, 'tis not your seal, not your invention :
You can say none of this : well, grant it then,
And tell me, in the modesty of honour,
Why you have given me such dear lights of
favour ;
Bade me come smiling and cross-garter'd to you ;
To put on yellow stockings, and to frown
Upon sir Toby and the lighter people :
And, acting this in an obedient hope.
Why have you suffered me to be imprison'd.
Kept in a dark house, visited by the priest.
And made the most notorious geek and gull.
That e*er invention play*d on ? tell me why.
OIL Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing.
Though, I confess, much like the character :
But, out of question, 'tis Maria's hand.
And now I do bethmk me, it was she
First told me thou wast mad; thou cam'st in
smiling.
And in such forms which here were presupposed
Upon thee in the letter. Pr'ythee, oe content :
Tnis practice hath most shrewdly pass'd upon
thee :
But, when we know the grounds and authors of it.
Thou shalt be both the plaintiff and the judge
Of thine own cause.
Fab, Good madam, hear me speak ;
And let no quarrel, nor no brawl to come,
Taint the condition of this present hour.
Which I have wonder'd at In hope it shall not,
Most freely I confess, myself, and Toby
Set this device against Malvolio here.
Digitized by Google
sc. I. OR, WHAT YOU WILL, 183
Upon some stubborn and uncourteous parts
We had conceived against him : Maria writ
The letter, at sir Toby's great importance ;
In recompense whereof he hath married her.
How with a sportful malice it was foUow'd,
May rather pluck on laughter than revenge ;
If that the injuries be justly weigh'd
That have on both sides pass'd.
Olu Alas, poor fool 1 how have they baffled
thee!
Clo, Why, sotm are born greats smite achieve
greatness, and some have greatness thrown upon
them, I was one, sir. in this interlude ; one sir
Topas, sir ; but that's all one : — By the Lord,
fool, I am not mad; — But do you remember ?
Madam, why laugh you at such a barren rascal?
an you smile not, h^s gagged: and thus the whirli-
gig of time brings in his revenges.
McU, I'll be revenged on the whole pack of you.
\Exit.
OIU He hath been most notoriously abused.
Duke, Pursue him, and entreat him to a peace :
He hath not told us of the captain yet ;
When that is known, and golden time convents,
A solemn combination stiall be made
Of our dear souls — Meantime, sweet sister,
We will not part from hence. — Cesario,' comie ;
For so you shall be while you are a man ;
But, when in other habits you are seen,
Orsino's mistress, and his fancy's queen.
lExeunt.
SONG.
Clo. When that I was and a little tiny boy,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
A foolish thing was but a toy,
For the rain it raineth every day. ,
Digitized by Google
i84 TWELFTH NIGHT. act v.
But when I came to man's estate.
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, ^
'Gainst knaves and thieves men shut their gate,
For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came, alas ! to wive.
With hey, ho, Uie wind and the rain.
By swaj^gering could I never thrive.
For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came unto my bed.
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain.
With toss-pots still had drunken head.
For the rain it raineth every day.
A great while ago the world begun.
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain.
But that's all one, our play is done.
And we'll strive to please you every day.
\ExU.
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LOVE'S LABOUR'S
LOST.
d by Google
PERSONS REPRESENTED.
Ferdinand, King of Nayarre.
BiRON, ^
LoNGAViLLB, > Lords attending on the King.
DUMAIN, 3
BOYST 'i
y, ' v Lordi attending on the Prittcets of F Ance.
Don Adriano db Armado, a fantastical Spaniard.
Sir Nathaniel, a Curate.
Holofernbs, a Schoolmaster,
Dull, a Constable,
Costard, a Clown.
Moth, pt^ to Arxnadp.
A Forester.
Princess of France.
Rosaline, "X
Maria, > Ladies attending on the Princess.
Katharine, J
Jaquenetta, a country wench.
Officers and others^ attendant on the King and Princess.
SCENE,— Navarre.
d by Google
love's labour's
Lost.
Hk9
ACT I.
SCENE I.— Navarre. A Park, with a palace
in it,
knter the King, Biron, Longavillk, and Dumain.
King.
|ET fame, that all- hunt after in their
lives,
Live r^[ister'd upon our brazen
tombs,
And then- grace us in the disgrace of
death ;
"When, spite of cormorant devouring time.
The endeavour of this present bream may buy
That honour, which shall bate his scythe's keen ,
edge,
And make us heirs of all eternity.
Therefore, brave conquerors ! — for so you are,
That war against your own affections.
And the huge army of the world's desires, —
Our late edict shall strongly stand in force :
Navarre shall be the wonder of the world ;
Digitized by Google
i88 LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST, act I.
Our court shall be a little Academe,
Still and contemplative in living art
You three, Biron, Dumain, and Longaville,
Have sworn for three years' term to live with me.
My fellow-scholars, and to keep those statutes
That are recorded in this schedule here :
Your oaths are pass'd, and now subscribe your
names ;
That his own hand may strike his honour down.
That violates the smallest branch herein :
If you are arm*d to do, as sworn to do,
Subscribe to your deep oaths, and keep it too.
LA)ng. I am resolved : *tis but a three years'
fast;
The mind shall banquet, though the body pine :
Fat paunches have lean pates ; and dainty bits
Make rich the ribs, but bankrupt quite the wits.
Dum, My loving lord, Dumain is mortified.
The grosser manner of these world's delights
He throws upon the gross world's baser slaves r
To love, to wealth, to pomp, I pine and die ; "
With all these living in philosopny.
Biron, I can but say their protestation over.
So much, dear liege, I have adready sworn.
That is, to live and study here three years.
But there are other strict observances :
As, not to see a woman in that term ;
Which, I hope well, is not enrolled there :
And, one day in a week to touch no food,
And but one meal on every day beside ;
The which, I hope, is not enrolled there :
And then to sleep but three hours in the night.
And not be seen to wink of all the day ;
(When I was wont to think no harm all night.
And make a dark night too of half the day ;)
Which, I hope well, is not enrolled there ;
Digitized by Google
sc I. LOVE'S LABOUieS LOST, 189
O, these are barren tasks, too hard to keep ;
Not to see ladies, — study, — fast, — ^not sleep.
King, Your oath is pa^*d to pass away from
these.
Biron, Let me say no, my liege, an if you
please;
I only swore, to study with your grace,
And stay here in your court for three years*
space.
Long, You swore to that, Biron, and to the
rest.
Biron, By yea and nay, sir, then I swore in
jest
What IS the end of study ? let me know.
King. Why, that to know, which else we
should not know.
Biron, Things hid and barr'd, you mean,
from common sense ?
King. Ay, that is study's godlike recompense.
Biron, Come on then, I will swear to study so,
To know the thing I am forbid to know :
As thus, — To study where I well may dine,
When I to fast expressly am forbid ;
Or, study where to meet some mistress fine.
When mistresses from common sense are hid :
Or, having sworn too hard-a-keeping oath.
Study to break it, and not break my troth.
If study's gain be thus, and this be so.
Study knows that, which yet it doth not know :
Swear me to this, and I will ne'er say, no.
King, These be the stops that hinder study
c^uite.
And tram our intellects to vain delight.
Biron, Why, all delights are vain ; but that
most vain.
Which, with pain purchased, doth inherit pain :
Digitized by Google
190 LOVJ^S LABOURS LOST, act l
As, painfully to pore upon a book^
To seek the Hght of truth j while truth the
while
Doth falsely blind the eyesight of his look :
Light, seeking light, cfoth light of light
b^fuile :
So, ere you find where light in darkness lies.
Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.
Study me how to please the eye indeed.
By fixing it upon a fairer eye ;
"Who dazzhng so, that eye shall be his heed.
And give mm light that it was blinded by.
Study is like the heaven's glorious sun.
That will not be deep-search*d with saucy
looks;
Small have continual plodders ever won.
Save base authority from others' books.
These earthly godfathers of heaven's lights,
That give a name to every fixed star.
Have no more profit of their shining nights,
Than those that walk, and wot not what they
are.
Too much to know is, to know nought but
fame;
And every godfather can give a name.
King, How well he's x^ad, to reason against
reading!
Dum, Proceeded well, to stop all good
proceeding !
Long, He we^ the com, and still lets grow
the weeding.
Biron, The spring is near, when green geese
are a-breeding.
Dum, How follows that ?
Biron, Fit in his place and time.
Dum, In reason nothing.
Digitized by Google
sc. I. LOVERS LABOUR'S LOST. 191
Biron, Something then in rhyme.
. King, Biron is like an envious sneaping frost,
That bites the first-bom infants of the spring.
Biron, Well, say I am; why should proud
summer boast,
Before the birds have any cause to sing ?
Why should I joy in any abortive birth ?
At Christmas I no more desire a rose.
Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled shows ;
But like of each thing that in season grows.
So you, to study, now it is too late.
Climb o'er the house to unlock the little gate.
King, Well, sit you out ; go home, Bu*on ;
adieu 1
Biron, No, my good lord ; I have sworn to
stay with you :
And, though I have for barbarism spoke more.
Than for that angel knowledge you can say ;
Yet, confident I'll keep what I nave swore,
And bide the penance of each three years' day, —
Give me the paper, — ^let me read the same j
And to the strict'st decrees I'll write my name.
King, How well this yielding rescues thee
from shame 1
BiroH. [readsJ] Item, That no woman shall come
within a mile of my court-
Hath this been proclaimed ?
Long, Four days ago.
Biron, Let's see the penalty,
{Reads.'] —On pain of losing her tongue. —
Who devised this penalty T
Long. Marry, that did I.
Biron, Sweet lord, and why ?
Long. To fright them hence with that dread
penalty.
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192 LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST, act i.
Biron, A dangerous law against gentility.
\Reads.'\ Item, If any man be seen to talk with a woman
within the term of three years, he shall endure such public
shame as the rest of the court shall possibly devise.— •
This article, my liege, yourself must break ;
For, well you know, here comes in embassy
The French king's daughter, with yourself to
speak, —
A maid of grace, and c6mplete majesty, —
About surrender-up of Aquitain
To her decrepit, sick, and bed-rid father :
Therefore this article is made in vain,
Or vainly comes the admired princess hither.
King. What say you, lords? why, this was
quite forgot
Biron, So study evermore is over-shot ;
While it dodi study to have what it would,
It doth forget to do the thing it should :
And when it hath the thing it hunteth most,
'Tis won, as towns with fire j so won, so lost.
King, We must, of force, dispense with this
decree ;
She must lie here on mere necessity.
Biron, Necessity will make us dl forsworn
Three thousand times within this three years'
space:
For every man with his affects is bom ;
Not by might mastered, but by special grace.
If I break faith, this word shdl speak for me,
I am forsworn on mere necessity. —
So to the laws at large I write my name :
[Subscribes.
And he that breaks them in the least d^ree
Stands in attainder of eternal shame :
Suggestions are to others, as to me ;
But, I believe, although I seem so loth,
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sc I. LOVES LABOUR'S LOST, 193
I am the last that will last keep his oath.
But is there no quick recreation granted ?
King, Ay, that there is: our court, you
know, is haunted
With a refinM traveller of Spain ;
A man in all the world's new fashion planted,
That hath a mint of phrases in his brain :
One who the music of his own vain tongue
Doth ravish, like enchanting harmony ;
A man of complements, whom right and wrong
Have chose as umpire of their mutiny :
This child of fancy, that Armado hight.
For interim to our studies, shall relate.
In high-bom words, the worth of many a knight
From tawny Spain, lost in the world's debate.
How you delight, my lords, I know not, I ;
But, I protest, I love to hear him lie,
And I will use him for my minstrelsy.
Biron, Armado is a most illustrious wight,
A man of fire-new words, fashion's own knight
Long, Costard the swam, and he, shall be
our sport ;
And, so to study, three years is but short
Enter Dull, with a letter, and Costard.
Dull, Which is the duke*s own person ?
Biron, This, fellow. What wouldst ?
I>ull, I myself reprehend his own person, for
I am his grace's tharborough : but I would see
his own person in flesh and blood.
Biron. This is he.
IHill. Signior Arme — ^Arme — commends you.
There's villany abroad ; this letter will tell you
more.
Cost, Sir, the contempts thereof are as touch-
ing me.
3 o
Digitized by Google
194 LOVES LABOUR'S LOST, act i.
King, A letter from the magnificent Armado.
Biron, How low soever the matter, I hope in
God for high words.
Long, A high hope for a low heaven: God
grant us patience !
Biron, To hear ? or forbear laughing?
Long, To hear meekly, sir, and to laugh
moderately ; or to forbear both.
Biron, Well, sir, be it as the style shall give
us cause to climb in the merriness.
Cost, The matter is to me, sir, as concerning
Jaquenetta. The manner of it is, I was taken
with the manner.
Biron, In what manner ?
Cost. In manner and forin following, sir; all
those three : I was seen with her in the manor
house, sitting with her upon the form, and taken
following her into the park ; which, put together,
is in manner and form following. Now, sir, for
the manner, — it is the manner of a man to speak
to a woman : for the form, — in some form.
Biron, For the following, sir ?
Cost, As it shall follow in my correction : and
God defend the right I
King. Will you hear this letter with attention ?
Biron, As we would hear an oracle.
Cost, Such is the simplicity of man to hearken
after the flesh.
King. [*vads.'i Great deputy, the welkin's vicegerent,
and sole Nominator of Navarre, my soul's earth's God,
and body's fostering patron, —
Cost. Not a word of Costard yet.
JCing. So it is, —
Cost. It may be so : but if he say it is so, he
is, m telling true, but so.
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sc. I. LOVE'S LABOUieS LOST, 195
King, Peace I
Cost. — be to me, and every man that dares
not fight I
King. No words !
Cost, —of other men*s secrets, I beseech you.
King. So it is, besieged with sable-coloured melan-
choly, 1 did commend uie black-oppressin|f humour to
the most wholesome physic of thy health-giving air; and,
as I am a gentleman^ tietook myself to walk. The time
when T A W)ut the sixth hour ; when beasts most graze,
birds best peck, and men sit down to that nourishment
which is called supper. So much for the time when.
Now for the ground which; which, I mean, I walked
upon : it is ydept thy park. Then for the place where ;
where, I mean, 1 did encounter that obscene and most
preposterous event, that draweth from my snow-white
pen the ebon-coloured ink, which here thou viewest, be-
noldest, surveyest, or see'st. But to the place where,—
It standeth north-north-east and by east from the west
comer of thy curious-knotted garden. There did I see
that low-spirited swain, that base minnow of thy mirth,
Cost. Me?
King. — that unlettered small-knowing soul.
Cost. Me?
King, — that shallow vassal.
Cost. Still me?
King. — ^which, as I remember, hight Costard,
Cost. O me !
King, —sorted, and consorted, contrary to thy estab-
lished proclaimed edict and continent canon, withr—
with, — O with — but with this I passion to say wherewith.
Cost. With a wench.
King. — with a child of our grandmother Eve, a
female ; or, for thy more sweet understanding, a woman.
Him I (as my ever-esteemed duty pricks me on) have
sent to thee, to receive the meed of pimishment, by thy
sweet grace's officer, Antony Dulf; a man of good
repute, carriage, bearing, and estimation.
o 2
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196 LOVERS LABOURS LOST, act i.
Dull, Me, an't shall please you; I am Antony
Dull
Kmz. For yaguenetta. (so is the weaker vessel called,
which 1 apprehended witli the aforesaid swain,) I keep
her as a vessel of thy law's fury ; and shall, at the least
of thy sweet notice, brine her to trial. Thine in all com-
pliments of devoted and heart-burning heat of duty,
Don Adriano db Armado.
Biron, This is not so well as I looked for, but
the best that ever I heard.
Kinf^. Ay, the best for the worst ' But, sirrah,
what say you to this ?
Cost Sir, I confess the wench.
King. Did you hear the proclamation T
Cost. I do confess much of the hearing it, but
little of the marking of it.
King. It was proclaimed a year's imprison-
ment, to be taken with a wench.
Cost. I was taken with none, sir; I was taken
with a damosel.
King. Well, it was proclaimed damosel.
Cost. This was no damosel, neither, sir ; she
was a virgin.
King. It is so varied too; for it was pro-
claimed vii^[in.
Cost. If It were, I deny her virginity ; I was
taken with a maid.
King. This maid will not serve your turn, sir.
Cost. This maid will serve my turn, sir.
King. Sir, I will pronoimce your sentence:
You shall fast a week with bran and water.
Cost. I had rather pray a month with mutton
and porridge.
King. And don Armado shall be your
keeper. —
My lord Biron, see him delivered o*er. —
Digitized by Google
sc. II. LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST. 197
And go we, lords, to put in practice that
Which each to other hath so strongly sworn. —
iExtunt King, Longavillb, and Dumain.
Biron, 1*11 lay my head to any good man's
hat.
These oaths and laws will prove an idle
scorn. —
Sirrah, come on.
Cost, I suffer for the truth, sir^ for true it is,
I was taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is
a true girl ; and therefore, welcome the sour cup
of prosperity I Affliction may one day smile
agam, and until then, sit thee down, sorrow !
iExeuni.
SCENE II,— Another part of the same.
ArmadoV Home,
EnUr Armado attd Moth.
Arm, Boy, what sign is it, when a man of
great spirit grows melancholy ?
Moth, A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
Arm. Why, sadness is one and the self-same
thing, dear imp.
Moth, No, ho ; O lord, sir, no.
Arm. How canst thou part sadness and
melancholy, my tender juvenal ?
Moth, By a £cimiliar demonstration of the
working, my tough senior.
Arm, Whv tough senior ? why tough senior ?
Moth, Why tender juvenal? why tender
juvenal ?
Arm, I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a con-
gruent epitheton, appertaining to thy young
days, which we may nominate tender.
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198 LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST, act i.
Moth, And I, tough senior, as an appertinent
title to your old time, which we may name tough.
Arm. Pretty, and apt.
Moth. How mean you, sir ; I pretty, and my
saying apt ? or I apt, and my saying pretty ?
Arm. Thou pretty, because little.
Moth. Little pretty, because little : wherefore
apt?
Arm. And therefore apt, because quick.
Moth. Speak you this m my praise, master ?
Arm. In thy condign praise.
Moth. I will praise an eel with the same
praise.
Arm. What ? that an eel is ingenious ?
Moth. That an eel is quick.
Arm. I do say, thou art quick in answers :
thou heat'st my blood.
Moth. I am answered, sir.
Arm. I love not to be crossed.
Moth, {aside.'] He speaks the mere contrary,
crosses love not him.
Arm. I have promised to study three years
with the duke.
Moth. You may do it in an hour, sir.
Arm. Impossible.
Moth. How many is one thrice told ?
Arm. I am ill at reckoning; it fitteth the
spirit of a tapster.
Moth. You are a gentleman, and a gamester,
sir.
Arm, I confess both ; they are both the var-
nish of a complete man.
Moth. Then, I am sure, you know how much
the gross sum of deuce-ade amounts to.
Arm. It doth amount to one more than two.
Moth. Which the base vulgar do call, three.
Digitized by Google
sc. II. LOVES LABOUR'S LOST. 199
Arm, Trae.
Moth, Why, sir, is this such a piece of study ?
Now here's three studied, ere you^ll thrice wink :
and how easy it is to put years to the word
three, and study three years in two words, the
dancing horse will tell you.
Arm. A most fine figure.
Moth, [aside.] To prove you a cipher.
Arm. I will hereupon confess, I am in love :
and, as it is base for a soldier to love, so am I
in love with a base wench. If drawing my
sword against the humour of affection would
deUver me from the reprobate thought of it, I
would take Desire prisoner, and ransom him to
any French courtier for a new devised courtesy.
I think scorn to sigh ; m^thinks, I should out-
swear Cupid. Comfort me, boy: what great
men have been in love?
Moth. Hercules, master.
Arm, Most sweet Hercules ! — More authority,
dear boy, name more; and, sweet my child, let
them be men of good repute and carriage.
Moth. Samson, master; he was a ©lan of
good carriage, great carriage ; for he carried the
town-gates on his back, Hke a porter : and he
was in love.
Arm, O well-knit Samson ! strong- jointed
Samson I I do excel thee in my rapier, as much
as thou didst me in carrying gates. I am in
love, too— Who was Samson's love, my dear
Moth?
Moth. A woman, master.
Arm. Of what complexion ?
Moth. Of all the four, or the three, or the
two ; or one of the four.
Arm, Tell me precisely of what complexion?
' Digitized by Google
200 LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST, act i.
Moth, Of the sea- water green, sir.
Arm, Is that one of the four complexions ?
Motk. As I have read, sir : and the best of
them too.
Arm. Green, indeed, is the colour of lovers ;
but to have a love of that colour, methinks,
Samson had small reason for it He, surely,
affected her for her wit
Moth, It was so, sir ; for she had a green wit
Arm, My love is most immaculate white and
red.
Moth, Most maculate thoughts, master, are
masked under such colours.
Arm. Define, define, well-educated infant
Moth, My father's wit, and my mother's
tongue, assist me !
Arm. Sweet invocation of a child; most
pretty, and pathetical.
Moth. If she be made of white and red,
Her faults will ne'er be known ;
For blushing cheeks by faults are bred,
And fears by pale-white shown :
Then, if she fear, or be to blame.
By this you shall not, know ;
For still her cheeks possess the same.
Which native she doth owe.
A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason
of white and red.
Arm. Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King
and the Beggar ?
Moth. ThS world was very guilty of such a
ballad some three ages since : but, I think, now
'tis not to be found; or, if it were, it would
neither serve for the writing, nor the tune.
Arm. I will have that subject newly writ o'er,
that I may example my digression by some mighty
Digitized by Google
sc. II. LOVERS L4B0UieS LOST, 201
precedent. Boy, I do love that country girl
that I took in the park with the rational hmd
Costard ; she deserves well.
Moth. {aside,'\ To be whipped; and yet a
better love than my master.
Arm, Sing, boy ; my spirit grows heavy in
love.
Moth, And that's great marvel, loving a light
wench.
Arm, I say, sing.
Moth. Forbear till this company be past.
Enter Dull, Cojt\rd, and Jaquknetta.
Dull. Sir, the duke's pleasure is that you
keep Costard safe : and you must let him take
no delight, nor no penance ; but a' must fast
three days a week. For this damsel, I must
keep her at the park ; she is allowed for the
day-woman. Fare you well.
Arm. I do betray myself with blushing. —
Maid.
yaq, Man.
Arm. I will visit thee at the lodge.
yaq. That's hereby.
Arm. I know where it is situate.
yaq. Lord, how wise you are I
Arm. I will teU thee wonders. '
Jaq. With that face r
Arm. I love thee.