And critic Timon laugh at idle toys !
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238 LOVE'S LABOURS LOST, act iv.
Where Kes thy grief, O tell me, good Dumain ?
And, gentle Longainlle, where lies thy pain ?
And where my liege's ? all about the breast : —
A caudle, ho 1
King, Too bitter is thy jest.
Are we betray'd thus to thy over-view ?
Biron, Not you to me, but I betra/d by you :
I, that am honest : I, that hold it sin
To break the vow I am engagM in ;
I am betra/d, by keeping company
With men like you, men of inconstancy.
When shall you see me write a thing in rhjrme ?
Or groan for love ? or spend a minute's time
In pruning me ? When shall you hear that I
Will praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye,
A gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist,
A leg, a limb ?
King, Soft; whither away so fast ?
A true man, or a thief, that gallops so ?
Biron, I post from love ; good lover, let me
go.
Enter Jaqubnbtta <utd Costasou
Jaq. God bless the king I
King, What present hast thou there ?
Cost, Some certain treason.
King, What makes treason here ?
Cost, Nay, it makes nothing, sir.
King, If it mar nothing neither.
The treason, and you, go in peace away to-
gether.
Jaq. I beseech your grace, let this letter be
read;
Our parson misdoubts it; it was treason, he said.
King, Biron, read it over. [Giving him the
letter,'] Where hadst thou it ?
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sc. III. LOVERS LABOUR'S LOST. 239
Jaq. Of Costard.
' King, Where hadst thou it ?
Cost, Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadip.
JCing, How now I what is in you ? why dost
thou tear it?
Biron. A toy, my liege, a toy ; your grace
needs not fear it
Long, It did move him to passion, and there-
fore let's hear it
Dum, It is Biron's writing, and here is his
name. [Picks up the pieces.
Biron, Ah, you whoreson loggerhead \to
Costard], you were bom to do me
shame. —
Guilty, my lord, guilty ; I confess, I confess.
King, What?
Biron, That you three fools lacked me fool to
make up the mess ;
He, he, and you ; and you, my liege, and I,
Are pick-purses in love, and we deserve to die.
O, dismiss this audience, and I shall tell you
more.
Dum, Now the number is even.
Biron, True, true ; we are four : —
Will these turtles be gone ?
King, Hence, sirs; away.
Cost, Walk aside the true folk, and let tiie
traitors stay:
\Exeuni Costard and Jaquenetta.
Biron,. Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O let us
embrace !
As true we are, as flesh and blood can be :
The sea will ebb and flow, heaven show his face;
Young blood doth not obey an old decree :
We cannot cross the cause why we are bom ;
Therefore, of all hands must we be forsworn.
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240 LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST, act iv.
King. What, did these rent lines show some
love of thine ?
Biron, Did they, quoth you ? Who sees the
heavenly Rosaline,
That, like a rude and savage man of Inde,
At the first opening of the gorgeous east.
Bows not his vassal head ; and, strucken blind.
Kisses the base ground with obedient breast ?
What peremptory eagle-sighted eye
Dares look upon the heaven of her brow.
That is not blinded by her majesty ?
King, What zeal, what fury hath inspired thee
now?
My love, her mistress, is a gracious moon ;
She, an attending star, scarce seen a light
Biron. My eyes are then no eyes, nor I
Biron :
O, but for my love, day would turn to night !
Of ail complexions, the cuU'd sovereignly
Do meet, as at a feiir, in her fair cheek ;
Where several worthies make one dignity ;
Where nothing wants, that want itself doth
seek.
Lend me the flourish of all gentle tongues, —
Fie, painted rhetoric I O, she needs it not :
To things of sale a seller's praise belongs ;
She passes praise : then praise too short doth
blot.
A wither'd hermit, five-score winters worn.
Might shake off fifty, looking in her eye :
Beauty doth varnish age, as if new-bom.
And eives the crutch the cradle's infancy.
O, 'tis the sun, that maketh all things shine !
King. By heaven, thy love is black as ebony.
Biron. Is ebony lik^ her ? O wood divine !
A wife of such wood were felicity.
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sa III. LOVES LABOUieS LOST, 241
O, who can give an oath ? where is a book ?
That I may swear, beauty doth beauty lack,
If that she learn not of her eye to look :
No face is fair, that is not full so black.
King, O paradox I Black is the badge of hell,
The hue of dungeons, and the shroud of night ;
And beauty's crest becomes the heavens weU.
Biron, Devils soonest tempt, resembling spirits
of light
O, if in black my lady's brows be deck'd.
It mourns, that painting, and usurping hair.
Should ravish doters with a false aspect ;
And therefore is she bom to make black fair.
Her favour turns the fashion of the days ;
For native blood is counted pamting now ;
And therefore red, that would avoid dispraise.
Paints itself black to imitate her brow.
Dufn. To look like her, are chimney-sweepers
black.
Long. And, since her time, are colliers counted
bright.
King. And Ethiops of their sweet complexion
crack.
Dum. Dark needs no candles now, for dark
is light.
Biron. Your mistresses dare never come in
rain.
For fear their colours should be wash'd away.
King, 'Twere good, yours did; for, sir, to. tell
you plain,
m find a fairer face not wash'd to-day.
Biron. I'll prove her fair, or talk till dooms-
day here.
King. No devil will fright thee theh so much
as she.
.Dum. I never knew man hold vile stuff so dear.
3 R
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242 LOVERS LABOUF^S LOST, act iv.
Long. Look, here's thy love: my foot and
her face see. \Shovnng his shoe.
Biron. O, if the streets were pavM with thine
^ «yes,
Her feet were much too dainty for such tread !
I>um, O vile I then as she goes, what upward
lies
The street should see as she walk*d over head.
King. But what of this ? Are we not all in
love ?
Biron. Nothing so sure ; and thereby all for-
sworn.
King. Then leave this chat ; and, good Biron,
now prove •â–
Our loving lawful, and our faith not torn.
Dum. Ay, marry, there; — some flattery for
this evil.
Long. O, some authority how to proceed ;
Some tricks, some quillets, how to cheat the
deviL
Dum. Some salve for perjury.
Biron. *Tis more than need ! —
Have at you then, affection's men at arms :
Consider, what you first did swear unto ; —
To fast, — to study, — and to see no woman : —
Flat treason against the kingly state of youth.
Say, can you fast ? your stomachs are too young ;
And abstinence engenders maladies.
And where that you have vow'd to study, lords.
In that each of you hath forsworn his book ;
Can you still dream, and pore, and thereon look ?
For when would you, my lord, or you, or you.
Have found the ground of study's excellence.
Without the beauty of a woman's face ?
From woman's eyes this doctrine I derive :
They are the ground, the books, the academes.
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sc. III. LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST, 243
From whence doth spring the true Promethean
fire.
Why, universal plodding prisons up
The nimble spirits in the arteries ; '
As motion, and long-during action, tires
The sinewy vigour of the traveller.
Now, for not looking on a woman's face,
You have in that forsworn the use of eyes ;
And study too, the causer of your vow :
For where is any author in the world,
Teaches such beauty as a woman's eye ?
Learning is but an adjunct to ourself.
And where we are, our learning likewise is.
Then, when ourselves we see in ladies' eyes,
Po we not likewise see our learning there ?
O, we have made a vow to study, lords ;
And in that vow we have forsworn our books ;
For when would you, my liege, or you, or you,
In leaden contemplation, have found out
Such fiery numbers, as the prompting eyes
Of beauty's tutors have enrich'd you with ?
Other slow arts entirely keep the brain ;
And therefore finding barren practisers.
Scarce show a harvest of their heavy toil :
But love, first learned in a lady's eyes.
Lives not alone immured in the brain ;
But with the motion of all elements.
Courses as swift as thought in every power ;
And gives to every power a double power,
Above their functions and their offices.
It adds a precious seeing to the eye ;
A lover's eyes will gaze an eagle blind :
A lover's ear will hear the lowest sound.
When the suspicious head of theft is stopp'd :
Love's feeling is more soft, and sensible.
Than are the tender horns of cockled snails :
Ra
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244 LOVBS LABOURS LOST, act iv.
Love'»tongue proves daintyBacchus gross in taste :
For valour, is not Love a Hercules,
Still climbing trees in the Hesperides?
Subtle as sphynx ; as sweet, and musical,
As bright Apollo's lute, strung with his hair ;
And when Love speaks, the voice of all the gods
Makes heaven drowsy with the harmony.
Never durst poet touch a pen to write.
Until his ink were temper d with Love's sighs.
O, then his lines would ravish savage ears,
And plant in tyrants mild humility.
From women's eyes this doctrine I derive :
They sparkle still the right Promethean fire ;
They are the books, the arts, the academes,
That show, contam, and nourish all the world;
Else, none at all in aught proves excellent :
Then fools you were these women to forswear ;
Or, keeping what is sworn, you wilf prove fools.
For wisdom's sake, a word that all men love ;
' Or for love's sake, a word that loves all men ;
Or for men's sake, the authors of these women ;
Or women's sake, by whom we men are men ;
Let us once lose our oaths, to find ourselves,
Or else we lose ourselves to keep our oaths :
It is religion to be thus forsworn :
For charity itself fulfils the law ;
And who can sever love from charity ?
King. Saint Cupid, then ! and, soldiers, to the
field!
Biron. Advance your standards, and upon
them, lords;
Pell-mell, down with them ! but be first advised,
In conflict that you get the sun of them.
Long. Now to plain-dealing ; lay these glozes
by;
Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France ?
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sc. III. LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST. 245
King, And win them too : therefore let us
devise
Some entertainment for them in their tents.
Biron, First, from the park let us conduct
them thither ;
Then, homeward, every man attach the hand
Of his fair mistress : in the afternoon
We will with some strange pastime solace them.
Such as the shortness of the time can shape ;
For revels, dances, masks, and merry hours,
Forerun fair love, strewing her way with flowers.
King, Away, away ! no time shall be omitted,
That will betime, and may by us be fitted,
Biron. Allans I Allans l^-Soyf'^d. cockle reap'd
no com;
And justice alwa3rs whirls in equal measure :
Light wenches may prove plagues to men for-
sworn;
If so, our copper buys no better treasure.
[ExtuHi.
ACT V.
SCENE l.—Another part of the same.
Enter Holofbrnes, Sir Nathaniel, and Dull.
ffolofemes,
\A TIS quod sufficit,
Nath, I praise God for you, sir:
your reasons at dinner have been sharp
and sententious; pleasant without scur-
rility, witty without affection, audacious without
impudency, learned without opinion, and strange
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246 LOVBS LABOURS LOST, act v^
without heresy. I did converse this quondatn
day with a companion of the king's, who is in-
tituled, nominated, or called, Don Adriano de
Armado.
Hoi, Nffvi hominem tanquam te: his humour
is lofty, his discourse peremptory, his tongue
filed, his eye ambitious, his gait majestical, and
his general behaviour vain, ridiculous, and thraso-
nical. He is too picked, too spruce, too affected,
too odd, as it were, too peregrinate, as I may
call it
Nath. A most singular and choice epithet.
\Takes out his table-tbook,
HoL He draweth out the thread of his verbo-
sity finer than the staple of his argument. I
abhor such fanatical phantasms, such insociable
and point-devise companions ; such rackers of
orthography, as to speak, dout, fine, when he
should say, doubt; det, when he should pro-
nounce debt; — d, e, b, t; not d, e, t: — ^he
clepeth a calf, cauf; half, hauf; neighbour,
vocatur^ nebour ; neigh, abbreviated, ne : This
is abhominable, (which he would call abbomi-
nable,) it insinuateth me of insanie; Neintelligis^
domine? to make frantic, lunatic.
Nath, Latis DeOf bone intelligo.
Hoi. Bone? bone^ for bene: Priscian a little
scratched ; 'twill serve.
Enter Armado, Moth, and Costard.
NatK Videsne quis venii ?
Hoi. Video et gaudeo.
Arm. [/<7MoTH.] Chirral
Hoi. Quare Chirra, not sirrah ?
Arm. Men of peace, well encounter'd.
Hoi. Most mihtary sir, salutation.
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sc. I. LOVES LABOUR'S LOST, 247
Moth, \to Costard aside,'\ They have been at
a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.
Cost. O, they have lived long on the alms-
basket of words I I marvel, thy master hath not
eaten thee for a word ; for thou art not so long
by the head as honorificabilitudinitatibtis : thou
art easier swallowed than a flap-dragon.
Moth, Peace ! the peal begins.
Arm. \to HoL.] Monsieur, are you not
lettered ?
Moth. Yes, yes ; he teaches boys the horn-
book ;—
What is a, b, spelt backward, with a horn on
his head !
Hoi. Ba, pueritiaj with a horn added.
Moth. Ba, most silly sheep, with a horn. —
You hear his learning.
Hoi. Quis, quis, thou consonant ?
Moth. The third of the five vowels, if you
repeat them ; or the fifth, if I.
HoL I will repeat them, a, e, i. —
Moth. The sheep : the other two concludes
it ; o, u.
Arm, Now, by the salt wave of the Mediter-
raneum, a sweet touch, a quick venew of wit :
snip, snap, quick, and home ; it rejoiceth my
intellect : true wit.
Moth, Offered by a child to an old man ;
which is wit-old.
Hoi. What is the figure ? what is the figure ?
Moth, Horns.
Hoi, Thou disputest like an infant : go, whip
thy gig.
Moth, Lend me your horn to make one, and
I will whip about your infamy circum circdb : a
gig of a cuckold's horn !
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248 LOVERS LABOUR*S LOST, act v.
Cost. An I had but one penny in the worfd,
thou shouldst have it to buy gingerbread : hold,
there is the very remuneration I had of thy
master, thou halfpenny purse of wit, thou
pigeon-egg of discretion. O, an the heavens
were so pleased that thou wert but my bastard !
what a joyful father wouldst thou make me I
Go to ; thou hast it ad dunghill, at the fingers'
ends, as they say.
Hoi. O, I smell false Latin j dunghill for
unguem.
Arm. Arts-man, praambula ; we will be
singled from the barbarous. Do you not edu-
cate youtii at the charge-house on Ae top of the
mountain ?
Hoi. Or, mons, the hill.
A rm. At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.
Hoi, I do, sans question.
Arm, Sir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure
and affection, to congratulate the princess at
her pavilion, in the posteriors of this day; which
the rude multitude caU the afternoon.
Hoi. The posterior of the day, most generous
sir, is liable, congruent, and measurable for the
afternoon: the word is well culled, chose; sweet
and apt, I do assure you, sir, I do assure.
Arm. Sir, the king is a noble gentieman ; and
my familiar, I do assure you, very good friend :
— for what is inward between us, let it pass : — ^I
do beseech thee, remember thy courtesy: — ^I
beseech thee, apparel thy head : — and among
other importunate and most serious designs, —
and of great import indeed, too ; — ^but let that
pass : — for I must tell thee, it will please his
grace (by the world) sometime to lean upon my
poor shoulder ; and with his rojral finger, thus,
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sc. I. LOVERS LABOUieS LOST. 249
dally with my excrement, with my mustachio :
but, sweet heart, let that pass. By the world, I
recount no fable ; some certain special honours
it pleaseth his greatness to impart to Armado,
a soldier, a man of travel, that hath seen the
world : but let that pass. — The very all of all is,
— ^but, sweet heart, I do implore secrecy, — that
the king would have me present the princess,
sweet chuck, with some delightful ostentation,
or show, or pageant, or antic, or fire-work.
Now, understanding that the curate and your
sweet self are good at such eruptions, and sudden
breaking out of mirth, as it were, I have ac-
quainted you withal, to the end to crave your
assistance.
Hoi, Sir, you shall present before her the nine
worthies. — Sir Nathaniel, as concerning some
entertainment of time, some show in the posterior
of this day, to be rendered by our assistance, at
the king's command, and this most gallant,
illustrate, and learned gentleman, — before the
princess ; I say, none so fit as to present the
nine worthies.
Nath, Where will you find men worthy enough
to present them ?
Hoi. Joshua, yourself; m)^elf, or this gallant
gentleman, Judas Maccabaeus ; this swain, be-
cause of his great limb or joint, shall pass Pompey
the Great ; the page, Hercules.
Arm, Pardon, sir, error: he is not quantity
enough for that worthy's thumb : he is not so
big as the end of his club.
HoL Shall I have audience ? he shall present
Hercules in minority : his enter and exit shall be
strangling a snake ; and I will have an apology
for that purpose.
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250 LOVES LABOURS LOST, act v.
. Moth, An excellent device ! so, if any of the
audience hiss, you may cry. Well donCy Hercules I
now thou crushest the snake ! that is the way to
make an offence gracious ; though few have the
grace to do it
Arm, For the rest of the worthies ? —
Hoi. I will play three myselfl
Moth, Thrice-worthy gentleman !
Arm, Shall I tell you a thing ?
Hoi. We attend.
Arm, We will have, if this fadge not, an
antic. I beseech you, follow.
Hoi, Via, goodman Dull I thou hast spoken
no word all tfis while.
Dull. Nor understood none neither, sir.
Holl, A lions! we will employ thee.
Dull. I'll make one in a damce, or so ; or I
will play on the tabor to thp worthies, and let
them dance the hay.
Hoi, Most dull, honest Dull ! To our sport,
away. {Exetmi.
SCENE II.— Another part of the same. Before
the Princess'^ Pavilion,
Enter the Princess, Katharine, Rosaline, and
Maria.
Frin, Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we
depart.
If fairings come thus plentifully ui :
A lady wall'd about with diamonds !
Look you, what I have from the loving king.
Jios. Madam, came nothing else dong with
that?
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sc. II. LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST, 251
Frin, Nothing but this ? yes, as much love in
rhyme,
As would be cramm'd up in a sheet of paper,
Writ on both sides of the leaf, margeiit and all ;
That he was fain to seal on Cupid's name.
Ros, That was the way to make his godhead
wax ;
For he hath been five thousand years a boy.
JCath, Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows
too.
Ros, You'U ne'er be friends with him; he
: kill'd your sister.
Kath, He made her melancholy, sad, and
heavy ;
And so she died : had she been light, like you,
Pf such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit.
She might have been a grandam ere she died :
And so may you ; for a light heart lives long.
Ros, What's yoiur dark meaning, mouse, of
this light word ?
JCath. A %ht condition in a beauty dark.
Ros, We need more light to find your meaning
out
JCath, You'll mar the light, by taking it in
snuff;
Therefore, I'll darkly end the argument.
Ros, Look, what you do ; you do it still i' the
dark.
Kaih. So do not you; for you are a light
wench.
Ros, Indeed, I weigh not you ; and therefore
light.
JCath. You weigh me not, — O, that's you carfe
not for me.
Ros, Great reason ; for, Past cure is still past
care.
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252 LOVB^S LABOUR* S LOST, act v.
Frin, Well bandied both ; a set of wit well
play*d.
But, Rosaline, you have a favour too :
Who sent it ? and what is it ?
Ros, I would, you knew :
An if my face were but as fair as yours,
My favour were as great ; be witness this.
Nay, I have verses too, I thank Biron :
The numbers true; and, were the numb'ring too,
I were the fairest goddess on the ground :
I am compared to twenty thousand feirs.
O, he hath drawn my pictiu-e in his letter !
Frin. Anything like ?
Ros. Much, in the letters ; nothing in the praise.
Frin, Beauteous as ink ; a good conclusion.
Rath. Fair as a text B in a copy-book^
Ros, *Ware pencils, ho ! let me not die your
debtor,
My red dominical, my golden letter :
O that your face were not so full of O's I
JCath. A pox of that jest I and I beshrew all
shrows !
Frin, But, Katharine, what was sent to you
from fair Dumain ?
Rath, Madam, this glove.
Frin, Did he not send you twain t
Rath, Yes, madam ; and moreover,
Some thousand verses of a faithful lover ;
A huge translation of h)rpocrisy.
Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.
Mar, This, and these pearls, to me sent
Longaville ;
The letter is too long by half a mile.
Frin. I think no less : dost thou not wish in
heart.
The chain were longer, and the letter short ?
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sc. II. LOVE'S LABOUICS LOST, 253
Mar, Ay, or I would these hands might never
part
Prin, We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
Ros, They are worse fools to purchase mocking
so.
That same Biron I'll torture ere I go.
O, that I knew he were but in by the week I
How I would make him fawn, and beg, and
seek;
And wait the season, and observe the times.
And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes;
And shape his service wholly to my bests ;
And make him proud to make me proud that
jests I
So portent-like would I o'ersway his state,
That he should be my fool, and I his fate.
Prin, None are so surely caught, when they
are catch'd.
As wit tum'd fool : folly, in wisdom hatch'd.
Hath wisdom's warrant, and the help of school ;
And wit's own grace to grace a learned fooL
Ros, The blood of youth bums not with such
excess.
As gravity's revolt to wantonness.
Mar, FoUy in fools beirs not so strong a note.
As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote j
Since all the power thereof it doth apply.
To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
Enter Boyet.
Prin, Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his
face.
Boyd. 0,1 am stabb'd with laughter! Where's
her grace ?
Prin, Thy news, Boyet ?
Boyet, Prepare, madam, prepare I —
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254 LOVERS LABOURS LOST, act v.
Arm, wenches, arm I encounters mounted are
Against your peace: Love doth approach dis-
guised,
Armed in arguments ; you'll be surprised :
Muster your wits ; stand in your own defence ;
Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence."
Prin. Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What
are they,
That charge their breath against us ? say, scout,
say.
Boyet Under the cool shade of a sycamore,
I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour ;
When, lo ! to interrupt my purposed rest.
Toward that shade I might behold address'd
The king and his companions : warily
I stole into a neighbour thicket by.
And overheard what you shall overhear ;
That, by and by, disguised they will be here.
Their herald is a pretty knavish page.
That well by heart hath conn'd his embassage :
Action, and accent, did they teach him there ;
Thus must thou speak, and thus thy body bear ;
And ever and anon they made a doubt.
Presence majestical would put him out ;
For^ quoth tie king, an angel shalt thou see;
Yet fear not thou^ but speak audaciously.
The boy rephed. An angel is not evil ;
I should have feared her had she been a devil.
With that all laugh'd, and clapp'd him on the
shoulder ;
Making the bold wag by their praises bolder.
One rubb'd his elbow, thus ; and fleer'd, and
swore,
A better speech was never spoke before :
Another with his finger and his thumb,
Cried, Via, wewilldoU, come what will conu :
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sc. II. LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST, 255
The third he caper'd, and cried, All goes well;
The fourth turn d on the toe, and down he fell.
With that, they all did tumble on the ground,
With such a zealous laughter, so profound.
That in this spleen ridiculous, appears,
To check their folly, paosion's solemn tears.
Prin. But what, but what, come they to visit
us?
Boyet. They do, they do ; and are apparell'd
thus, —
Like Muscovites, or Russians, as I guess.
Their purpose is, to parle, to court, and dance :
And every one his love-feat will advance
Unto his several mistress ; which they'll know
By favours several, which they did bestow.
Prin. And will they so ? the gallants shall be
task'd :—
For, ladies, we will every one be mask'd ;
And not a man of them shall have the grace,
Despite of suit, to see a lady's face.
Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear,
And then the kmg will court thee for his dear ;
Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me
thine j
So shall Biron take me for Rosaline. —