With nmsicks of all sorts, and songs compos'd
To her unworthiness : It nothing steads us.
To chide him from our eaves ; for he persists.
As if his life lay on t.
Hd. Why then, to-night
Let us assay our plot ; which, if it speed.
Is wicked meaning in a lawful deed.
And lawful meaning in a lawful act;
Where both not sin, and yet a sinful fact :
But let's about it. \_E.veunt.
' the countywears."] i. c. the count.
282 ALL'S WELL
SCENE I. Without the Florentine Camp,
Enter first Lord, with five or six Soldiers in ambush,
1 Lord. He can come no other way but by this
hedge' corner: When you sally upon him, speak
what terrible language you will ; though you under-
stand it not yourselves, no matter ; for we must not
seem to understand him ; unless some one among
us, whom we must produce for an interpreter.
1 Sold. Good captain, let me be the interpreter.
1 Lord. Art not acquainted with him ? knows he
not thy voice ?
1 Sold. No, sir, I warrant you.
1 Lord. But what linsy-woolsy hast thou to speak
to us asrain ?
1 Sold. Even such as you speak to me.
1 Lord. He must think us some band of strangers
i'the adversary's entertainment.'* Now he hath a
smack of all neighbouring languages ; therefore we
must every one be a man of his own fancy, not to
know what we speak to one another ; so we seem to
know, is to know straight our purpose:^ chough's
language, gabble enough, and good enough. As
for you, interpreter, you must seem very politick.
But couch, ho ! here he comes ; to beguile two
hours in a sleep, and then to return and swear the
lies he forges.
*♦ some hand of strangers i'the adversary's entertainment.']
That is,Jbreign troops in the enemy's fay.
5 so ive seem to knotUy is to knotv, &c.] We must each
fancy a jargon for himself, without aiming to be understood by
one another, for provided we appear to understand, that wiU be
sufficient for the success of our project. Henley.
THAT ENDS WELL. 283
Par. Ten o'clock : within these three hours 'twill
be time enoii2;h to "o home. What shall I sav I
have done ? It must be a vxMy plausive invention
that carries it: They begin to smoke me: and dis-
graces have of late knocked too often at my door.
I find, my tonejue is too fool-hardy ; but my heart
hath the fear of Mars before it, and of his creatures,
not daring the reports of my tongue.
1 Lord. This is the first truth that e'er thine own
tongue was guilty of. \_Aside.
Par. What the devil should move me to under-
take the recovery of this drum ; being not ignorant
of the impossibility, and knowing I had no such
j)urpose ? I must give myself some hurts, and say,
I got them in exploit : Yet slight ones will not
carry it : They will say, Came you off with so little ?
and great ones I dare not give. Wherefore ? what's
the instance r'^ Tongue, I must put you into a but-
ter-woman's mouth, and buy another of Bajazet's
mule," if you prattle me into these perils.
1 Lord. Is it possible, he should know what he
is, and be that he is ? [^Aside.
Par. I would the cutting of my garments would
serve the turn ; or the breaking of my Spanish
1 Lord. We cannot afford you so. \^Aside.
Par. Or the baring of my beard ; and to say, it
was in stratagem.
1 Lord. 'Twould not do. \^Asidc.
//(f itiKtance ?] TXm j)ro()f.
' (if Iiaj(izrl\<i mulu,] Parolles probably means, he must
buy a tonj^ue which has still to Icarii the use oi" sjh'chIi, tlint lie
may run liimbtlf into no more ditlicultics by hw loquacity. iC^i^u.
^84 ALL'S WELL
Par. Or to drown my clothes^ and say, I was
1 Lord. Hardly serve. \^Aside.
Par. Though I swore I leaped from the window
of the citadel
1 Lord. How deep ? \_Aside.
Par. Thirty fathom.
1 Lord. Three great oaths would scarce make
that be believed. \_Aside.
Par. I would, I had any drum of the enemy's;
I would swear, I recovered it.
1 Lord. You shall hear one anon. \_Aside.
Par. A drum now of the enemy's !
1 Lord. Throca movousus, cargo, cargo, cargo.
All. Cargo, cargo, "villiajida par corbo, cargo.
Par. O ! ransome, ransome ; — Do not hide mine
eyes. [^^hcy seize him and blindfold him.
1 Sold. Boskos thromuldo boskos.
Par. I know you are the Muskos' regiment.
And I shall lose my life for want of language :
If there be here German, or Dane, low Dutch,
Italian, or French, let him speak to me,
I will discover that which shall undo
I Sold. Boskos vawvado :
I understand thee,, and can speak thy tongue :
Kerclybonto : Sir,
Betake thee to thy faith, for seventeen poniards
Are at thy bosom.
Par. Oh! '
1 Sold. O, pray, pray, pray.
Manka rcxania diilche.
1 Lord. Oscorbi dulchos Tolivorca^
1 Sold. The general is content to spare thee
And, hood-vvink'd as thou art, will lead thee on
THAT ENDS WELL. 285
To gatlier fi-om tliec : haply, thou may'st inform
Something to save thy hfe.
Par. O, let me live,
And all the secrets of our camp I'll show.
Their force, their purposes : nay, I'll speak that
Which you will wonder at.
1 Sold. But wilt thou faithfully ?
Par. If I do not, damn me.
1 Sold. Acordo Unfa.
Come on, thou art gi-anted space.
l^E.vitf with Parolles guarded.
1 Lord. Go, tell the count Rousillon, and my
We have caught the woodcock, and will keep him
Till we do hear from them.
2 Sold. Captain, I will.
1 Lord. He will betray us all unto ourselves ; —
Inform 'em that.
2 Sold. So I will, sir.
1 Lord. Till then, I'll keep him dark, and safely
Florence. A Rooin in the Widow's House.
Enter Bertram and Diana.
Her. They told me, that your name was Fontibell.
Dia. No, my good lord, Diana.
Per. Titled goddess ;
And worth it, with addition ! But, fair soul.
In your fine frame hath love no quality ?
If the quick fire of youth light not your mind.
You are no maiden, but a monument :
When you are dead, you should be such a one
^b6 ALL'S WELL
As you are now, for you are cold and stern ;
And now you should be as your mother was.
When your sweet self was got.
Dia. She then was honest.
Ber. So should you be.
Dia. No :
My mother did but duty ; such, my lord.
As you owe to your wife.
jbet\ No more of that !
I pr ythee, do not strive against my vows :
I was compell'd to her ; but I love thee
By love's own sweet constraint, and will for ever
Do thee all rights of service.
Dia. Ay, so you sei-ve us.
Till we serve you : but when you have our roses.
You barely leave our thorns to prick ourselves.
And mock us with our bareness.
Ber. How have I sworn ?
Dia. 'Tis not the many oaths, that make the truth;
But the plain single vow, that is vow'd true.
What is not holy, that we swear not by,^
But take the Highest to witness : Then, pray you,
If I should swear by Jove's great attributes,
I lov'd you dearly, would you believe my oaths,
' What is not holy, thai we swear not hy,^ The sense is — We
never swear by what is not holy, but swear by, or take to witness,
the Highest, the Divinity. The tenor of the reasoning contained
in the following lines perfectly corresponds with this : If 1 should
swear by Jove's great attributes, that I loved you dearly, would
you believe ray oaths, when you found by experience that I loved
you ill, and was endeavouring to gain credit with you in order to
seduce you to your ruin ? No, surely ; but you would conclude
that I had no faitli either in Jove or his attributes, and that my
oaths were mere words of course. For that oath can certainly
have no tie upon us, which we swear by him we profess to love
and honour, when at the same time >ve give the strongest proof
of our disbelief in him, by pursuing a course which we know will
offend and dishojjiour him. Heath.
THAT ENDS WELL. 28?
When I did love you iH ? this has no holding,
To swear by him \\ honi I protest to love,
That 1 will work uiijainst him : 'J'heretore, your oaths
Are words, and j)oor conditions ; but unseal'd ;
At least, in my opinion.
Ber. ( "hanf^e it, change it ;
Be not so holv-cruel : love is holv ;
And niv integrity ne'er knew the cralts.
That vou do charge men with : Stand no more oftj
}3ut give thyself unto my sick desires,
A\'ho then recover : say, thou art mine, and ever
My love, as it begins, shall so perscver.
Dia. I see, that men make hopes, in such affliirs/
That we'll forsake ourselves. Give me that ring.
/it'r. 1 H lend it thee, my dear, hut have no power
To give it from me.
JJia. Will vou not, my lord ?
Btr. It is an honour 'longing to our house^
Bequeathed down from many ancestors:
Which were the greatest obloquy i'the world
Li me to lose.
Uia. Mine honour's such a ring :
My chastity's the jew el of our house,
Bequeathed down from many ancestors;
Which were the greatest oblo(|uy i'the world
In me to lose : Thus your own proper wisdom
Brings in the champion honour on my part,
Against your vain assault.
Bcr. Here, take my ring:
My house, mine honour, yea, my life be thine.
And ril hi- hid by thei;.
Dia. \\ hen midnight comes, knock at my cham-
ber window ;
' / xe^, that men make hopes, in such affairs,] i. e. I perceive
that while our lovers are niakirif,' proiessionti of love, they enter-
tain hopcH that we shall be betrayed by our j)a5sions to } iilcl to
28S ALL'S WELL
ril order take, my mother shall not hear.
Now will I charge you in the band of truth,
When you have conquer'd my yet maiden bed.
Remain there but an hour, nor speak to me :
My reasons are most strong" ; and you shall know
When back again this ring shall be deliver'd :
And on your finger, in the night, I'll put
Another ring ; that, what in time proceeds.
May token to the future our past deeds.
Adieu, till then ; then, fail not : You have won
A wife of me, though there my hope be done.
Be9\ A heaven on earth I have won, by wooing
Dia. For which live long to thank both heaven
and me !
You may so in the end.— —
My mother told me just how he would woo.
As if she sat in his heart ; she says, all men
Have the like oaths : he had sworn to marry me.
When his wife's dead ; therefore I'll lie with him,
When I am buried. Since Frenchmen are so braid,^
Marry, that will, I'll live and die a maid :
Only, in this disguise, I think't no sin
To cozen him, that would unjustly win. [Exit.
The Florentine Camp.
Enter the tzvo French Lords, and txco or three
1 Lord. You have not given him his mother's
' Since Frenchmen are so braid,] Braid signifies crafty or
THAT ENDS WELL. 289
2 Lord. I have delivcr'd it an hour since : there
is something in't that stings his nature; for, on
the reading it, he changed ahnost into another
1 Lord. He has much worthy blame laid upon
him, for shaking off so good a wife, and so sweet a
*i Lord. Especially he hath incurred the everlast-
ing displeasure of the king, who had even tuned
his bounty to sing happiness to him. I will tell
you a thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with
1 Lord. When you have spoken it, 'tis dead, and
I am the grave of it.
2 Lord. He hath perverted a young gentlewoman
here in Florence, of a most chaste renown ; and
this night he fleshes his will in the spoil of her
honour : he hath given her his monumental ring,
and thinks himself made in the unchaste compo-
1 Lord. Now, God delay our rebelHon : as we
are ourselves, what things are we !
2 Ljord. Merely our own traitors. And as in the
common course of all treasons, we still see them
reveal themselves, till they attain to their abhorred
ends; so he, that in this action contrives against
his own nobility, in his proper stream o'erflows
1 Lord. Is it not meant danmable in us,- to be
trumpeters of our unlawful intents? We shall not
then have his e(jmpany to-night?
' in /lis proper stream o*er/lotvs himself.'] That is, betrnux
his men secrets in his own talk. The reply shows that this is the
» Is it not meant daninable /// «.v,] Adjectives arc often used
as adverbs by our author and his contcmporarici.
290 ALL'S WELL
2 Lord. Not till after midnight ; for he is dieted
to his hour.
1 Lord. That approaches apace : I would gladly
have him see his company' anatomized ; that he
might take a measure of his own judgments, where-
in so curiously he had set this counterfeit.
1 Lord. We will not meddle with him till he
come ; for his presence must be the whip of the
1 Lord» In the mean time, what hear you of
these wars ?
2- Lord. I hear, there is an overture of peace.
1 Lord. Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded.
2 Lord. What will count Rou^illon do then ? will
he travel higher, or return again into France ?
1 Lord. I perceive, by this demand, you are not
altojjether of his council.
2 Lord. Let it be forbid, sir ! so should I be a
great deal of his act.
1 Lord. Sir, his wife, some two months since,
jfled from his house ; her pretence is a pilgrimage to
Saint Jaques le grand ; which holy undertaking, with
most austere sanctimony, she accomplished : and,
there residing, the tenderness of her nature became
as a prey to her grief; in iine, made a groan of tier
last breath, and now she sings in heaven.
2 Lord. How is this justified ?
1 Lord. The stronger part of it by her own let-
ters ; which makes her story true, even to the point
of her death : her death itself, which could not be
her office to say, is come, was faithfully confirmed
by the rector of the place.
2 Lord. Hath the count all this intelli2;ence ?
1 Lord. Ay, and the particular confirmations,
point from point, to the full arming of the verity.
^ his company — ] i. e. his companion.
THAT ENDS WELL. rzgi
2 Lord. I am heartily sorry, that lie'll be glad of
1 Lord. How nhghtilv, sonictinies, wc n.akc us
comforts of oar losses !
2 Lord. And how mig;htilv, some other tines, we
drown our gain ni tears ! The great dignity, that his
valour hatli here acquired for him, shall at home be
encountered with a shame as ample.
1 Lord. The web of our life Is of a mingled yam,
good and ill toi;ether : our virtues would be proud,
it our faults whipped them not ; and our crimes
would despair, if they were not cherish'd by our
Enter a Se^^'ant.
How now ? where's your master ?
Scrv. He met the duke in the street, sir, of whom
he hath taken a solemn leave ; bis lordship will
next morning for France. The duke hath offered
him letters of commendations to the king.
2 Lord. They shall be no more than needful
there, if they were more than they can commend.
1 Lord. They cannot be too swe^t for the king's
tartness. Here's his lordship now. How now, my
lord, is't not after midnight?
Ber. I have to-night desj)atched sixteen busi-
nesses, a month's length a-piece, by an abstract of
success: I have conge'd with the duke, done my
adieu with his nearest; buried a wiP;, mourned for
her ; writ to my lady mother, I am returning ; en-
tertained my convoy ; and, between these main })ar-
ci'ls (if despatch, eftected many nicer deeds ; the last
was the greatest^ but that I have not ended yet.
2 Lord. If tilt* business be of any diihculty, and
igi ALL'S WELL
this morning your departure hence^ it requires haste
of your lordship.
Ber. I mean, the business is not ended, as fearing
to hear of it hereafter : But shall we have this dia-
logue between the fool and the soldier ? Come,
bring forth this counterfeit module ; * he has deceived
me, like a double-meaning prophesier.
2 Lord. Bring him forth : \_E.veu?it Soldiers^ he
has sat in the stocks all night, poor gallant knave.
Ber. No matter ; his heels have deserved it, in
usurping his spurs so long.^ How does he carry
1 Lord. I have told your lordship already ; the
stocks carry him. But to answer you as you would
be understood ; he weeps like a wench that had
shed her milk : he hath confessed himself to Mor-
gan, whom he supposes to be a friar, from the time
of his remembrance, to this very instant disaster of
his setting i'the stocks -. And what think you he
Ber. Nothing of me, has he ?
1 Lord. His confession is taken, and it shall be
read to his face : if your lordship be in't, as I believe
you are, you must have the patience to hear it.
Re-enter Soldiers^ xvith Parolles.
Ber. A plague upon him ! muffled ! he can say
nothing of me ; hush ! hush !
1 Lord. Hoodman comes ! — Porto tartarossa.
1 Sold. He calls for the tortures ; What will you
say without 'em ?
-♦ bring Jorth this countetjiit module ;] Module being the
pattern of any thing, may be here used in that sense. Bring forth
this fellow, who, by counterfeit virtue, pretended to make himself
0. pattern. Johnson.
^ in usurping his spurs so Inng^ These words allude to
the ceremonial degradation of a knight.
THAT ENDS WELL. 293
Par. I will confess what I know without con-
stmint ; if ye pinch me hke a pastv, I can say no more.
1 .Sold. Busko chicurmurco.
'1 Lord. Boblibiudo cliicurmurco.
1 Sold. You are a merciful oeneral : — Our n-ene-
ral bids vouanswertowhat I shall ask vououtof a note.
Far. And truly, as I hope to live.
1 Sold. Fir.'it lUmand of h'nn Iwic many horst' the
diike is strung. V\\vaX. say you to that ?
Par. Five or six thousand ; but very weak and
unscniceable : the troops are all scattered, and the
commanders very poor rogues, upon mv reputation
and credit, and as 1 hope to live.
1 Suld. .Shall I set down your answer so ?
Par. Do ; I'll take the sacrament on't, how and
which wav you will.
Ber. All's one to him. What a past-saving slave
is this !
1 Lord. You are deceived, my lord ; this is mon-
sieur Parolles, the gallant militarist, (that was his
own phrase,) that had the whole theorick^ of war in
tiie knot of his scarf, and the practice in the chaj)c
of his dagger.
2 Lord. I will never trust a man again, for keej>-
ing his sword clean ; nor believe he can have every
thing in him, by wearing his a})parcl neatly.
1 Sold. \N'ell, that's set dtjwn.
Par. Five or six thousand horse, I sai<l, — I will
fay true, — or thereabouts, set down, — for I'll speak
1 Lord. He's very near the truth in this.
Btr. liut I con him no thanks fjr't,'' in the na-
ture he delivers it.
Par. J^>or rogues, I }jrav you, say.
5 that had the whole theorick — ] i. e. theorif.
^ I con him no thunkx fjrU,'\ T<i r.nu thnn/cs exactly on-
Kwers llif I'Vl-iicIi <;cav'jir frrc. 'I'u con i.>> Irj kjiovv.
294 ALL'S WELL
1 Sold. Well, that's set down.
Pai\ I humbly thank you, sir : a truth's a truth,
the rogues are marvellous poor.
1 Sold. Demand of him, of what strength they
are a-foot. What say you to that ?
Par. By my troth, sir, if I were to live this pre-
sent hour," I will tell true. Let me see : Spurio a
hundred and fifty, Sebastian so many, Corambus so
many, Jaques so many; Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick,
and Gratii, two hundred fifty each : mine own com-
panj^ Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred
and fifty each : so that the muster-file, rotten and
sound, upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thou-
sand poll ; half of which dare not shake the snow
from ofl' their cassocks,^ lest they shake themselves
Ber. What shall be done to him ?
1 Lord. Nothing, but let him have thanks. De-
mand of him my conditions/ and what credit I have
with the duke.
1 Sold. W^ell, that's set down. You shall demand
of him, xohether one Captain Diimain be ithe camp,
a Frenchman ; what his reputation is with the duke,
xvhat his valour, honesty, and expertness i?i wars ;
or whether he thinks, it zvere not possible, with well-
weighing sums of gold, to corrupt him to a re^volt.
What say you to this ? what do you know of it ?
Par. I beseech you, let me answer to the particu-
lar of the intergatories : ' Demand them singly.
I Sold. Do you know this captain Dumain ?
Par. I know him : he was a botcher's 'prentice
' if I tvere to live this present hour, &c.] Perhaps we
should read : — if I were to live but this present hour. Steevens.
'^ off' their cassocks,] Cassock signifies a horseman's loose
coat, and is used in that sense by the writers of the age of Shak-
9 1)11/ conditions,] i. e. my disposition and character.
' intergatories :~\ i, e. interrogatories.
THAT F.NDS WELL. 295
in Paris, from whence he was whipped for getting
the Sheriff's fool with child ; a dumb innocent, that
could not say him, nay.
[Di^MAiN lifts up his hand in anger.
Ber. Nay, by your leave, hold your hands ;
though I know, his brains are forfeit to the next
tile that falls.'
1 So/d. Well, is this captain in the duke of Flo-
rence's camp ?
Par. Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy.
1 Lord. Nay, look not so upon me ; wc shall
hear of your lordship anon.
1 iSold. What is his reputation with the duke }
Par. Tlie duke knows him for no other but a
poor officer of mine ; and writ to me this other day,
to turn him out o' the band : I think, I have his
letter in my pocket.
1 Sold. Marr\% we'll search.
Par. In good sadness, I do not know ; either it
is there, or it is upon a file, with the duke's other
letters, in my tent.
1 Sold. Here 'tis ; here's a paper. Shall I read it
to you ?
Par. I do not know, if it be it, or no.
Ber. Our intcr})reter docs it well.
1 Lord. Excellently.
1 Sold. T)\^n. The count' safool, and full of gold) —
Par. That is not the duke's letter, sir ; that is an
advertisement to a proj^er maid in Florence, one
Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one count
Rousillon, a foolish idle boy, but, for all that, very
ruttish : I pray you, sir, put it up again.
1 Sold. Nay, I'll read it first, by your favour.
* thour^h I kjioxcy /lis brains are forfeit to the next file that
_ fills.] In Luciun's Coutrinp/antcSy Mercury makes Charon remark
a man that was killed by the falling of a tile upon his head, whilst
he \va.s in tlie act oi" putting off an engagement to tlie next day.
VOL. III. A A
2gQ ALUS WELL
Par. My meaning in't, I protest, was very lionest
in the behalf of the maid : for I knew the young
count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy ; who is
a whale to virginity, and devours up all the fry it
Ber. Damnable, both sides rogue !.
1 Sold. IFhen he swears oaths, bid him drop gold)
and take it ;
After he scores, he never pays the score :
Haff 'won, is match ivell made ; match, and well
make it ;^
He ne*er pays after debt's, take it before ;
And say, a soldier, Dian, told thee this.
Men are to mell zvith, boys are not to kiss :
For count of this, the coimfs a fool, I know it,
JVho pays before, hut not when he does owe it.
Thine, as he vow'd to thee in thine ear,
Ber. He shall be whip}>ed through the army, with
this rhyme in his forehead.
2 Lord. This is your devoted friend, sir, the ma-
nifold linguist, and the armipotent soldier.
Ber. I could endure any thing before but a cat,
and now he's a cat to me.
1 Sold. I perceive, sir, by the general's looks, we
shall be fain to hang you.
Par. My life, sir, in any case : not that I am
afraid to die ; but that, my offences being many, I
would repent out the remainder of nature : let me
hve, sir, in a dungeon, i'the stocks, or any where,
so I may live.
1 Sold. We'll see what may be done, so you con-
* Half tvo)t, is match tvell made ; match, and tvcll make it ;2
The meaning is, <* A match well made, is half won; make your
match, .tliereibre, but make it well.'*
THAT EXD.S WELL. 297
fess freely ; tlierefore, once more to tliis captain
Dumain : You have answered to his reputation with
the duke, and' to his valour : What is his ho-
Par. He will steal, sir, an es;^ out of a cloister •*
for rapes and ravishments he parallels Nessus. He
jMofesses not keepiuL^ of oaths : in breakini^ them,
lie is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, sir, with
such volubility, that you would think truth were a
fool: drunkenness is his best virtue; for he will be
swine-drunk ; and in his sleep he docs little harm,
save to his bed-clothes about him ; but they know
his conditions, and lay him in straw. I have but
little more to sav, sir, of his honcstv : he has everv
thing- tliat an honest man should not have ; what an
honest man should have, he has nothing.
1 Lortl: I begin to love him for this.
Ber. For this description of thine honesty ? A
j)ox upon him for me, he is more and more a cat.
1 Sold. What say you to his expertness in
w ar r
Par. Faidj, sir, he has led the drum before the