1814-1871 Cymon.

The pigmies and the priests : showing how some dismal pagans were converted to a lively faith online

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Entered, according to Act of CoDgrese, in the year 1863,


in the Clerk's OiRce of the District Court of the United Statea for the Southern District of New YorSj.

The Pigmies and the Priests.

Thei'e was a great Magician, Bamboozleem his name,
A quizzical old Wizard, and mighty was his fame ;
With cabalistic spells he could fasten and release,
Turn black men into white ones, and wise men into geese.

Delighting in malicious jokes, to get up a sensation,

He kept a droll menagerie to entertain the nation.

There was another old Enchanter in the land of which 1 sing,

Was said to be an honest man, so the people made him king.

But blood and tears deface the records of his reign —
His armies were defeated, his kingdom rent in twain ;
A second-rate Magician was this feeble old Foo-foo,
For half his realm seceded to his rival, Bullv-boo.

Then all his wiekod ministers they put tlieir heads together,
And, being wily sorcerers, they made tilings worse than ever ;
They swindled, swaggered, bullied, surpassing all belief;
Set up enchanted crocodiles for Gcnerals-in-Chief.

(To be sure, they 'd little chance of getting up a fight,
Appointed every inorning and discarded every night ;)
Protean shapes abounded, and evil spirits then.
Wolves took the forms of magistrates, and bears of honest men.

And ghouls there were, who preyed upon the soldiers of the state ;
Stripped off their hides, drank up their blood, their hearts and

livers ate ;
With certain vile and ravenous beasts, with vultures' claws and

By science yet unclassified, but people called them Shoddies.

To all their vile and knavish pranks old Foo-foo said " So be it"—
Declared his spells were working well, but the nation did'nt see it ;
The people's hearts were heavy, and their pockets very light,
No sympathizing giant rose to aid them in their plight.

Then came the great Bamboozleem, Avith his familiar spirit,
(His familiar was a demon, a terrible " What Is It ?")
Astride upon his magic steed, (the woolly one,) he spoke :
" When mortals take to snivellings then Necromancers joke.

Yon fi-et because you hav'nt got ono miglity man to show,
What matter for the giants, thon, when pigmies are the gu ;
There's hut one great Tuvhihle, we always have been told,
And now it's tuUy proved the great invisible is — Gold.

Then cast your cares away, and laugh at melancholy.
This is the vei-y time of limes to come out strong and jolly ;
The biggest firms burst up, the fondest couples die,
But then there's no philosophy in sitting down to cry.

I'll get you up a partnership will make creation stare,
Make lots of paper currency, and give some of you a share ;
rU summon up the dwarfish imps from my kingdom down below,
And hire Apollo's temple for a Lilliputian show.

I'll have an elfin wedding ; 'twill be, at any rate.
An emblematic tableau of the matrimonial state."
No sooner said than done ! up came the pigmy crew,
Hurra, then, for the temple ! Some said it wouldn't do.

The oracles were adverse all : the priests were all surprise,
But the Wizard took a powder and threw it in their eyes,
And with his golden omtment, he did annoint them so
That their scruples all relaxed with regard to the tableau.

To make my story short, upon a certain day,

The jolly old Bamboozleem performed his little play ;

And in that stately temple, as ancient records tell.

Gave his novel entertainment, and succeeded passing well.

King Foo-foo was invited — being boozy, couldn't come ;
And his queen was writing letters, in the native vulgar tongue ;
But of big and burly heroes there was no lack at all,
Though in that enchanted atmosphere they looked exceeding

The impatient crowd without kej^t growing big and bigger,
And tickets for the galleries sold at a monstrous figure ;
If any snarling cynic thought proper to complain.
He was banished into Dixie's land, and never seen again.

The performance at an end, Bamboozleem appearing
Before the audience, bowed, and begged a minute's hearing ;
Thanked the peoj^le for their countenance, the priests for their

And the little elfin actors, who had made such merry sport ;

Begged to announce another piece in course of preparation.
With Avhich he meant to edify the laughter-loving nation.
Meantime, for fear delay should make the people moody,
He would re-engage the edifice to exhibit Punch and Judy.

Wishing all a good digestion, he bade them now adieu,
Being off to Washy twaddledoni, to wake up old Foo-foo ;
Then gracefully retiring, he made his final bow.
While the orchestra struck up a merry row-de dow.

On a flying hippopotamus he rose into the air,
Throwing hand-bills to the masculines and tickets to the fair.
And from that day the people left the idols of the state.
And worshiped the enchanter, Bainboozleem the Great.

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in 2010 with funding from

The Institute of IVIuseum and Library Services through an Indiana State Library LSTA Grant

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Online Library1814-1871 CymonThe pigmies and the priests : showing how some dismal pagans were converted to a lively faith → online text (page 1 of 1)