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SCOTTISH TOASTS




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Copyright, igoS
BY H. M. CALDWELL Co.



Electrotyped and Printed by
THE COLONIAL PRESS
C. H. Simotids & Co., Boston, U.S.A.





INTRODUCTION



Whenever and wherever Scotchmen
foregather the spirit of friendship and
festivity is in the air.

To be able to say the right thing at
the right moment is to contribute to
the harmony of such occasions. This
little book is offered as an aid to all
who would do so and it has been
arranged so that Toasts, Sentiments
and expressions of Conviviality, Love
and Friendship of varying character
and for all occasions come ready to
hand. Here separately grouped are
Patriotic Toasts, Convivial Toasts, Sen-
timents of Love and Friendship, Toasts
to the Women, Humourous Toasts, and
a budget of Miscellaneous Toasts and
Sentiments from which to pick and
choose at will.

Here also is a store of good stories ;



s



COTCH



when toasts are not in order a good
story is always in order. The best of
all good stories are among the Scotch
ones and these are of the kind that
are ever welcome at the festive board.
And the compiler of this little book, to
use the language of the Toast Master
of the Lord Mayor of London, "bids
you a right hearty good welcome "
and drinks to all his brother Scots in a
Loving Cup.




TCH 1OA.ST/



9 o i



(Off



CONTENTS



fr



Introduction ......

Menu .......

Patriotic Toasts .....

Patriotic Scotsmen . . . .

Toasts to Women, Love, Friendship, etc.

Convivial and Humourous Toasts and

Sentiments .....

Some After Dinner Stories ...
Miscellaneous Toasts and Sentiments .
Scottish Toasts: A Miscellany . .





COTCH lOAST/




Edinburgh Pen and
Pencil Club



Scotch Nicht.



I

^



#



" And noo a rantin' feast weel stored,
Saurs sweetly on the festive board."

Picketi's Poems.



A grace (but no) as lang's my arm." Burns.



o' fare.



Powsowdie and Cockie-leekie.

* Wi' rowth o' reekin' kail supply
The inward man."

Ferguson.

ix




"""IMIIII ii.n,. -^

COTCHiOAST/'



Cod and Oyster Sauce.
Haddies.

" . . . . He's no ill boden
That gusts his gab wi' oyster sauce
An' cod weel soden."

Ferguson.



m



They're braw caller haddies." Antiquary.



Sheep's Head and Trotters.
HAGGIS.

" A sheep's head owre muckle boiled is rank
poison." Bailie Nicol Jarvie.



" A haggis fat, weel tottled in a scything pat."

Ferguson.

Drams.

" An' his nose is juisf <i sicht, wi' drinkin drams."

Outram.



/T



OCOTCH {OAST/ fi



Beef and Greens.
Bubbly-jock and Howtowdies.



<( We'll live a' the winter on beef an' lang kail,
An' whang at the ba nnocks o' barley meal "

JjAn, Duke of Argyll.



" Noo, maister, I sail thank ye for a prievin'
o' your bubbly-jock."

Saxon and the Gael.



" A fine fat howtowdie. . . .

The fowl looks weel, an' we'll fa' till her."

Allan Ramsay.



Marrow Ec.nes.

" Nil nisi bonum."



w



" Os homini sublime dedit."
xi



s




Kapers.

" Do you not remember, Hugh, how I
gave you a kaper ? " Clan Albyn.



" Then auld guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit hums."

Burns.



Toddy.



" A guid auld sang comes never wrang,
When o'er a social cogie."

William Reid.



" The hour approaches Tarn maun ride." Burns.



" Landlady, count the lawin'." Burns,



" Guid nicht, an' joy be wi' ye a' I " Old Song.



Waterloo Hotel,



W. G. R.



XI 1



S/-/""VTV^T T 1 f~\ A O*T*/*
COTCH lOAST/



o o



PATRIOTIC TOASTS



-* -*^

IV





COTCH lOAST/



i



r^f



OCOTCH




A health to the friends of Cale-
donia.



But let ilk man pursue his plan,
Let all have liberty of soul,

Let every man stand by his clan
And slavery have no control.



Be whaur I like, or gang whaur I
like, I see nobody hae the sense and
manners that the folk o' our ain
town hae !



Brave Caledonia, the chief of her
line.



Breathes there a man with soul so
dead,



Sc T-^^
COTCH lOAST/'



Who never to himself hath said,

This is my own, my native land ;
Whose heart hath ne'er within him

burned,

As home his footsteps he hath turned
From wandering from a foreign
strand?



Caledonia: the nursery of learning
and the birthplace of heroes.



Edina! Scotia's darling seat!

All hail thy palaces and tow'rs,
Where once beneath a monarch's feet

Sat legislation's sov'reign pow'rs !
From marking wildly-scatter'd flow'rs,

As on the bank of Ayr I stray'd,
And singing, lone, the ling'ring hours,

I shelter in thy honour'd shade.




Give me my Scotia's darling sons

Sae kind and free.
! but I loe their hamely tweils,
Their auld sweet songs and foursome

reels,

Their heathery hills, their glens and
biels

Sae snug and warm,
Rare honest independent chiels

Wha dread nae harm.

ttta



Green be thy hills, auld Scotia,

And fertile be thy plains, man;
Where friendship, love, and freedom

reign,

To bless our nymphs and swains,
man.

9

Here's to dear Scotland, its crags
and its glens !



s



COTCH lOAST/



The bonniest country that e'er mon

micht ken!
The land where the lads and the

lassies all learns
To play golf, to drink high-balls and

read Bobby Burns.

r

Here's to the land of bonnets blue,
Tartan kilts and tarry woat,

for a waught of mountain dew,
To toast the guid and brave o't.

5f

Kyle for a man,

Carrick for a coo,
Cunningham for butter and cheese

And Galloway for woo.



Scotia ! my dear, my native soil !
For whom my wannest wish to
Heaven is sent!



r~f



O COTCH




ml



Long may thy hardy sons of rustic

toil,

Be blest with health, and peace,
and sweet content !



Scotland ! it was a gracious act in

thee

To build a monument beside the sea
To Lincoln, to him who wrote the

word,
[V$$? And slavery's shackles fell.



Old Scotia, loved at home, revered
abroad.



Rear high thy bleak, majestic hills
Thy sheltered valleys proudly

spread,
And, Scotia, pour thy thousand rills



And wave thy heaths with blossoms
red.



Pledge to the much-loved land that

gave us birth,

Invincible, romantic Scotia's shore!
Pledge to the memory of departed

worth,

And first, among the brave, remem-
ber Moore.

And be it deemed not wrong that name

to give
In festive hours, which prompts

the patriot's sigh,
Who would not envy such a Moore to

li ve

And died he not as heroes wish to
die?

Yes, though too soon attaining glory's
goal,

8





COTCH IOA.ST/



To us his bright career too short

was given,
Yet, in a mighty cause, his phoenix

soul
Rose, on the flames of victory, to

heaven.

Now oft (if beats on subjugated Spain
One patriot heart; in secret shall it

mourn
For him! now, oft, on far Corunna's

plain,

Shall British exiles weep upon his
urn!

Peace to the mighty dead ! our bosom-
thanks
On sprightlier strains, the living

may inspire !
Joy to the chief that leads old Scotia's

ranks,

Of Roman garb, and more than
Roman fire.




Triumphant, be the thistle still un-
furled!
Dear symbol wild! on Freedom's

hills it grows,
Where Fingal stemmed the tyrants of

the world,

And Roman eagles found uncon-
quer'd foes !

Joy to the bard, on ancient Egypt's

coast,
Whose valour tamed France's proud

tri-colour,
And wrenched the banner from her

bravest host,

Baptized Invincible in Austria's
gore.

Joy for the day on red Vemeira's

strand,

When bayonet to bayonet opposed,
First of Britannia's host, a Highland

band



10






COTCH IQA.ST/'

Gave but the death-shot once, and,
foremost, closed.



Is there a son of generous England

here,
Or fervid Erin? he with us shall

join

To pray that in eternal union dear,
The rose, the shamrock, and the
thistle twine.

Types of a race who shall the invader

scorn,
As rocks resist the billows round

their shore,
Types of a race who shall, to time un-



Their country leave unconquered,
as of yore !



Scotland and the products of its
soil.



Scotland: the birthplace of valour
the country of worth.



Scotland, my auld, respected Mither!
Tho' whiles ye moistify your leather,
Till whare ye sit, on craps o' heather,

Ye tine your dam;

(Freedom and whiskey gang the-
gither!)

Tak' aff your dram !

9

Scotland's bonnie boys.

<tip

Scottish heroes; and may their
fame live for ever.




Scottish learning and Scottish uni-
versities.



s





sfel



COTCH 1OA.ST/



So may old Scotia's darling hope,

Your little angel band.
Spring, like their father's, up to prop

Their honour'd native land !
So may thro' Albion's farthest ken,

To social-flowing glasses,
The grace be " Athole's honest
men,

And Athole's bonnie lasses ! "



1 The land o' the leal.



The tartan plaid.



f

ft



The thistle of Scotia ! the thistle
sae green !




COTCH lOAST/ 1



, Then here's may Scotland ne'er fa'

down,

A cringing coward doggie,
But bauldly stand and bang the loon,
Wha'd reave her of her coggie.



To the land o' cakes.



m



To the banners of Scotland long
may they wave.

qy>

To the memory of the Heroes and
Heroines of Bonnie Scotland.



To the memory of Wallace and the
Scots who hae wi' Wallace bled.



A



*t | |

s








COTCH 1OA.ST/



We toast ye, the nicht, the hill and the
$fXH heather,

The lad o' the bonnet, the plaid and

the feather,
The land o' the mountain, the stream

and the river,
The land o' our ancestors, Scotland

for ever!

r

Wherever I wander, wherever I rove,
The hills of the Highlands for ever I
love!

ar



PATRIOTIC SCOTSMEN
A Budget of Stories

The expression, " Caledonia, stem
and wild," is very apt. The sternness
has been seen in the Solemn League
and Covenant, in Sabbath observance,
and in the Disruption of 1843. The
wildness has been seen on many a



O'sf




battlefield in every quarter of the
world. Lord Byron refers to it in
his description of Waterloo :
" And wild and high the ' Cameron's

Gathering ' rose.
... the fierce native daring which

instils
The stirring memory of a thousand

years."

Sir Walter Scott, dealing with the
same subject, uses a similar expression.
In Ossian it occurs over and over
again. Stern and wild applies to
country, people, and music as much
to-day as it did a hundred years ago.
The qualities which Napoleon admired
in the Scots at Waterloo hi 1815 were
displayed at Dargai and Atbara in
1898.



The Scots being a warlike race, it
followed that the Volunteer movement




16



OCQTCH




(-V





should be popular. We all know the
story of the urchin who laughed im-
moderately at the mounted Volunteer
officer. The officer turned on him
with the wrathful remark. " Boy,
what are you laughing at; did you
never see a war horse? " The urchin
responded, " Oo, aye, I hae seen a
waur horse mony a time, but I
never saw a waur rider ! "



Geordie Gardiner was a member
of Trowan's company, Crieff, which
was composed chiefly of country lads.
They used to squat down on the
grass as soon as they entered the
park, and no bugle call could bring
them to their feet till Geordie would
get into a frenzy, running about like
a drover at Falkirk Tryst, shouting
to the recumbent redcoats, " Rise




COTCH lOAST/ 7



and dress up there, or I'll tak' ye a
crack wi' a stane 1 "



A lad who got his living by the
manufacture of horn spoons applied
for admission into what was known
as the Daft Company in Crieff. Lord
John addressed the Company, and
asked, " if they would be willing to
serve along with the lad who was a
tinker." GUI Jock replied, " Ou,
aye, sir, tak' him by a' means. We
get the name o' the Daft Company
ony way, and then there'll be naething
but daft folk and tinkers in't." Poor
Lord John, feeling himself, as it
were, " rebuked and put down,"
rrerely added, "Oh, I'll irform the
young man that he'll not be accepted
of."

18




A story is told of a Haddington
tinsmith, Harry Galbraith, who, when
checked for inability to perform some
military evolution, in the Volunteer
Corps replied in a tone of disgust,
" Every man to his trade, Captain
Kinloch. Can ye mak' a caffee-pat? "



The Tranent Volunteers, a very
good company, consisting almost en-
tirely of miners, were being drilled,
a good many years after 1859, by
Adjutant Ross, afterwards colonel of
the Royal Scots. The order was new
to them, " Stand at ease. Stand
easy." They stood easy, as miners
do, by settling on their hunkers! I
hope the expression is not too vague.
The expression used ^by the adiutant
was not. It is told of the same com-
pany that on one occasion, at a big
affair in Annisfield Park, they were




told to " ground arms." This was
done by every man. Afterwards,
when the order was given, " take up
arms," one member had to be
prompted, and this was how it was
done : " Hi, Johnnie, man, lift yir
cannon."



This reminds me of another from
the same company. It was during
refreshment time after a big sham
fight. " Hi, man," says one, " a' lost
the skin o' ma baagnet comin' through

that wud." " Man, that's nae-

thin," exclaims a comrade, " A'
lost the lid o' ma cannon." The
worthies were deploring the loss of
a scabbard and a sight protector.



I am not sure whether he was a
member of Tranent company or not





L



20



S
rrvnr'
{^\J I %w




9 t.



that was travelling one night by rail
from Edinburgh when an old gentle-
man searched his pockets, grew very
fidgety, and said it was a most ex-
traordinary thing that he should lose
his railway ticket. Our hero calmly
replied, "Lose a bit ticket! That's
naethin. A' lost the big drum."



In one of the Haddington Volunteer
companies there was a member named
Porteous, who was not a crack shot,
but it was understood that his bullets
all went to the same place, which
came to be known as Porteous's
hole. Whenever a Volunteer missed
the target and asked, " I winner
whaur'll that ane hae gane," the
reply was, " It'll be in Porteous's
hole."



s



COTCH




It does not pay crack shots to
brag too much, however. A squad
of the 8th (Crieff) Volunteers, firing
at Benny beg Range, happened to hit
a horse that was standing near
probably with a splinter from a
bullet after it had struck the target.
A short time afterwards the excel-
lences of the " gallant eighth " were
being extolled in presence of a well-
known Breadalbane Highlander named
Duncan. Becoming exasperated, he
exclaimed, " Tamm you and ye
gallants and eights and things, the
first man ye shot was a horse ! "



A private of the 7th V. B. R. S., of
extreme weight, took part in a forced
march from Stow to Dingleton Com-
mon, and, it being a very hot day,
had to succumb. The doctor asked



22




him if he knew his weight, and the
answer gasped out was, " A' no' ken,
but I was auchteen stane when I left
Longniddry."



At some Volunteer manoeuvres in
the South of Scotland a young ser-
geant hi charge of a squad was asked
by a private, " Where are we to go
now? " " Dae ye no see that beer
barrel below the trees? Left turn.
Quick march."



It was a commissioned officer who,
having to lead his company through
a narrow gap in a hedge, gave the
order, " Halt, disperse, form on other
side of hedge."



Adjutant Gordon, Haddington, once
startled his company with the com-



s




COTCH lOAST/



mand, " When the bugle fires begin
to sound."



He was a Highland sergeant who
told the men in camp, " If she'll be
findin' pottles here and pottles there,
and if she'll find no more whatever
the innocent will be punished as well
as those that's not guilty."



On one occasion a sham fight was
going on and two men were supposed
to have been shot. One of them, how-
ever, got up and fired off a blank
cartridge, when the other, a joiner,
pulled him down, exclaiming, " Dae
ye no ken yir a casualty?"



Colonel Ross of the Royal Scots,
while adjutant of the Ha d ding ton -



24




shire Volunteers, allowed full sway to
his humour and impulsiveness. On
one occasion he took in hand the
" sizing " of a company, and after
stating the book instructions that the
tallest man was to be placed on the
right and the smallest on the left,
shouted " Six feet two, three paces to
the front." There was no response.
V Six feet one," etc. One stepped
forward. And so on down to five
feet four, when one man was left.
" Five fut," shouted the adjutant,
and little J responded to the
order amid laughter which was not
easily suppressed.



Old Sergeant Law of the Hadding-
ton company had a hunchback, no
chest to speak of, and a head which
reached far forward. When drilling



2 5



s



COTCH




he used to ask the members of the
company to " Stand straight, head
up, just like me." The same old
sergeant was a good shot, and on one
occasion when putting on bull's eyes
in succession was asked by a man
of position, who was a member of
the company, how he managed to
score so well. The reply was, " Oh,
I juist shut ma een and pu' the
tricker ! "



A good story of practice at "the
butts " is told of a Volunteer who
was observed to lower his rifle fre-
quently and blow something from
about the foresight. Asked by a
comrade what was wrong, he said
there was a blasted fly that persisted
in landing on the barrel whenever he
took aim. The comrade took the
rifle and lay down, when he dis-

26



covered that the mysterious fly was
none other than the rangekeeper
painting out bullet marks in front of
the target. The old man had no
idea how near he was to a future
state.



It was a red-letter day in the annals
of the Haddington Volunteers when
the Marquis of Tweeddale invited
them to have a sham fight in the
neighbourhood of Goblin Ha', famed
through " Marmion." The com-
mander, a burly citizen who had
attained to high honours in the birth-
place of John Knox, placed himself
in front of his company and addressed
them in martial strains. " When the
bugle sounds the charge," he con-
cluded, " follow me, my brave men."
The bugle sounded, the charge was
made for about thirty yards, when



s



COTCH




the gallant leader, looking back to see
how his men were advancing, fell into
a ditch. The rank and file pursued
their wild career, but two kind-
hearted sergeants remained by their
discomfited leader. " Oh, captain,
I hope you are not mortally wounded,"
said one. " My breeks are wounded,"
said the officer on being pulled out of
the ditch. " Duncan, hae ye a
needle and thread? " Duncan, who
was a tailor, had the necessaries;
at any rate the unmentionables were
patched up in some way, and the
officer was sympathized with in being
so unfortunate as to get wounded in
the back, thereby suggesting that he
had been disgracefully fleeing from
the enemy.



The old soldier was at one time a
prominent personage in country dis-

28





COTCH JOA.ST/'

tricts. One of the earliest stories I
remember is of a veteran who touched
his hat whenever he spoke to any-
body. Some one checked him for this,
remarking that he was a very poor
man and unworthy of such honour.
The reply of the old warrior was,
" Am I to spoil my good manners for
your d - poverty? "



The old warriors were not always
well educated. A veteran in the
Crieff district, John M'Niven, was one
of the advance companies, or forlorn
hope, which entered Washington, of
which only eleven survived to tell of
their daring. When asked by one of
his neighbours how he felt when
marching to the town he answered,
"I dinna ken; I was just there."
John was religious and read his Bible



29



- 9 o



SCOT



CH lOAST/"



on Sundays, spelling the difficult
words, and giving pronunciations un-
known in English dictionaries. He
had several parts of a work entitled,
" The Life of Christ," and one cf his
lodgers had some parts of a work
entitled, "The Scottish Chiefs," and
both publications had similar covers.
One Sunday his lodgers and a neigh-
bour were talking of things worldly to
such a degree that John thought fit
to challenge their proceedings, and
told them it would be wiser were
they reading their Bibles, and if they
would not do so he would read it
himself. He took " The Scottish
Chiefs," and commenced reading and
spelling at a determined rate. After
a little he got bewildered with an ad-
venture connected with Wallace. His
hearers could scarcely keep their grav-
ity, but one ventured to ask who this
Wallace was. He replied, " Ye micht



""*L>M*MM_

s



COTCH lo AST/*



ken that brawly, wi' yer education.
He was one i' (of the) apostles." John
once offered to put up a dyke " at a
penny below the lowest offer." On
another occasion the laird sent a
servant asking John to make an offer.
John, not being a ready writer, asked
the servant to write out the offer. This
the servant refused. " Well," said
John, "just tell the laird that I'll
put the dyke up for what he likes."




When Tarn Black, another Crieff
worthy, went to the Highlands to buy
yarn he always was attired hi full
regimentals, and if any one asked the
reason the ready reply was, " Oh, a
person's money is always safe under
a red coat. No one would ever think
of robbing a soldier."

3*



:



9 o



s




COTCH lOAST/



Old Andrew Creach, Bower, was
most unscrupulous in his dealings with
those he did not like. He was very
ready-witted. In a Thurso tavern he
got into a discussion with a black-
smith about sweating, and the son of
Vulcan, having got the worst of the
argument, said, " Andrew, come down
to the back of the chapel and I'll
put your soul ou' of your body in five
minutes." " At leisure, at leisure,"
said Andrew, " they're no so easy
putten thegither again."




COTCH




TOASTS TO WOMEN,

LOVE, FRIENDSHIP,

ETC.





COTCH lOAST/



fl



A cozy but, and a cantie ben

To couthie women and trusty men



An honest man may like a glass,
An honest man may like a lass,
But mean revenge, an' malice fause,
He'll still disdain.



P



And fill them high with generous
juice,

As generous as your mind ;
And pledge me in the generous toast

" The whole of human kind ! "



And here's to a' hi barley bree,
Oursel's and a' the warld thegither,

35




s



o
/-/-VrrT/-?TT 1 /-% A C"T" r / g *

COTCH 1OA8T/



To a' wha luve the kilted knee,
Or bonnie lasses in the heather.



And pray a' guid things may attend
you!



And the sands shall sing,
And the round world ring,
With my love and thy love for me.

3P

And whilst we thus should make our

sorrows one
This happy harmony would make

them none.

9

But truce with kings, and truce with
constitutions,

With bloody armaments and revolu-
tions;

36



$j



I



ft



COTCH IOA.ST/

Let Majesty your first attention sum-
mon,
Ah ca ira ! the Majesty of Woman !



I o '



But ye whom social pleasure charms,
Whose hearts the tide of kindness

warms,
Who hold your being on the terms,

" Each aid the others,"
Come to my bowl, come to my arms,

My friends, my brothers !



Drink ye to her that each loves best.



Fill me with the rosy wine,
Call a toast, a toast divine,
Give the poet's darling flame,
Lovely ~ - be the name,

37





Then thou mayest freely boast
Thou hast given a peerless toast.



Farewell the glen sae bushy, !
Farewell the plain sae rushy, !
To other lands I now must go,
To sing my Highland lassie, !



For a' that and a' that,
It's coming yet for a' that
That man to man the warld o'er

Shall brithers be for a' that.



For me, I'm woman's slave confessed
Without her, hopeless and unblessed.



For there's nae luck about the house,
There's nae luck at a' ;

38




COTCH 1OA.ST/"




There's little pleasure in the house
When our gudeman's awa*.



Go to your sculptur'd tombs, ye Great,
In a' the tinsel trash o' state !
But by thy honest turf I'll wait,

Thou Man of worth !
And weep the ae best fellow's fate

E'er lay hi earth.

5f

Here's a health to ane I lo'e dear,
Here's a health to ane I lo'e dear;
Thou art as sweet as the smile when

fond lovers meet,

And soft as their parting tear
Jessy !

if

Here's a bottle and an honest friend!
What wad ye wish for mair, man?
Wha kens, before his life may end,

39




g^-;

SCOTCH TOAST/*

*~~^



What his share may be of care,

man?
Then catch the moments as they fly,

And use them as ye ought, man :
Believe me, happiness is shy,

And comes not aye when sought,
man.




Here's to him who winna' beguile



ye.



Here's a health to th3 ladies at hame,
Here's a health to the ladies awa',


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Online LibraryCharles WelshScottish toasts → online text (page 1 of 3)