Elizabeth F. (Elizabeth Frances) Guptill.

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[Transcriber's Note: Bold text is surrounded by =equal signs= and italic
text is surrounded by _underscores_. Superscripted numbers are preceded
by carets and surrounded by curly braces.^{9}]

Christmas _at_ Punkin Holler

_by_ Elizabeth F. Guptill



New Entertainment Songs

By Edna Randolph Worrell.

These songs can be used in all manner of entertainments. The music is
easy, and both music and words are especially catchy. Children like
them. Everybody likes them. Sheet music. =Price 25 cents each. Five
copies, $1.00.=

=WE HOPE YOU’VE BROUGHT YOUR SMILES ALONG.= A welcome song that will
at once put the audience in a joyous frame of mind and create a happy
impression that will mean half the success of your entire program.
Words, bright and inspiring. Music, catchy.

=WE’LL NOW HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE.= This beautiful song has snap and go
that will appeal alike to visitors and singers. It is just the song to
send your audience home with happy memories of the occasion.

=WE’VE JUST ARRIVED FROM BASHFUL TOWN.= This song will bring memories
to the listeners of their own bashful school days. Words, unusually
clever. Music, decidedly melodious. A capital welcome song, or it may
be sung at any time on the program with assured success.

=MY OWN AMERICA, I LOVE THEE.= A song that will bring a thrill of
patriotism to the heart of every one who hears it. The children and
grown-ups just can’t resist the catchy music. It makes a capital
marching song.

=COME AND PARTAKE OF OUR WELCOME CAKE.= A merry welcome song and a
jolly one, too. The audience will be immediately curious about the
Welcome Cake, and the children will love to surprise the listeners with
the catchy words. Music, easy and tuneful.

=LULLABY LANE.= The music and words blend so beautifully that people
will be humming the appealing strains long after they hear this
charming song. A wonderfully effective closing song, whether sung by
the school or as a solo by a little girl, with a chorus of other little
girls with dolls.

=JOLLY PICKANINNIES.= Words by Elizabeth F. Guptill. Music by Edna R.
Worrell. This spicy coon song will bring down the house, especially if
you use the directions for the motions which accompany the music. The
black faces and shining eyes of the pickaninnies will guarantee a hit.
The words are great and the music just right.

=THE LITTLE BIRD’S SECRET.= Here is just the song for those two
little folks to sing together. They won’t have to be coaxed to sing
it, especially when they find that the whole school is to whistle the
chorus. This is a decided novelty, and will prove a rare treat to your

=A GARDEN ROMANCE.= This is a dainty little song telling of the romance
and wedding of Marigold and Sweet William. It is just the song for
dainty little girls to sing.

different for the little folks to sing. The Nursery Rhyme Folk are so
familiar to children, it will be no trick for them to remember the
words. The music has a most captivating swing.

Paine Publishing Company - - Dayton, Ohio

Christmas at Punkin Holler


Author of “Christmas at McCarthy’s,”
“A Topsy Turvy Christmas,” Etc.


Dayton, Ohio

Cast of Characters

AUNT HEPSEY A queer character of the district.
PETER } Pupils.

Copyright, 1916, by Paine Publishing Company.

Christmas at Punkin Holler

_SCENE:_ _The schoolroom. The necessary articles of furniture are the
teacher’s desk and chair, and a couple of long wooden benches, or
settees, if the benches are not to be easily obtained. The pupils are
moving around, talking, laughing, and romping; making considerable
noise and confusion. Miss Peppergrass enters, in hood and shawl, and
speaks, but fails to make herself heard. She removes her wraps, hanging
them on a nail near her desk, and rings bell smartly. School slowly
becomes quiet, but the pupils do not seat themselves. Instead, they
stare, wonderingly, at teacher._

MISS P.—Take your seats.

HIRAM—Don’t hafter. It’s a hollerday.

MISS P.—I should say as much, judging by the noise you were making; but
we can not rehearse for the entertainment to-night in the midst of such
a racket as that. It sounded like a den of wild beasts.

JACOB—So ’twas, Teacher—a regular circus. I’m a lion, and I’m a-goin’
to eat Sally up! (_Pounces on Sally, and begins to growl, and to
pretend to eat her. Sally screams._)

MISS P.—(_ringing bell again_) That will do, Jacob. Now, children, take
your seats. We must have it quiet. (_Children crowd into seats. Johnny
tries to pass the end of one seat, but is held back by Lucindy. He

MISS P.—What’s the trouble there, Lucindy?

LUCINDY—Johnny won’t set down.

JOHNNY—No such a thing, Teacher. I was a-goin’ ter set down, and she
grabbed onto me.

LUCINDY—He wasn’t! He was a-goin’ right by.

JOHNNY—Well, I was a-goin’ to set down in my own seat. I don’t like to
set there.

MISS P.—But we are reserving the seats for the visitors. There will be
a great many here to-night, you know. Don’t you want to be a little
gentleman, and give up your seat to some one—your mamma, perhaps?

JOHNNY—Huh! Ma couldn’t git herself into _that_ seat. She’s too fat.
Pa’s a-goin’ to bring a chair for her, ’cause she couldn’t git into
_any_ seat, ’thout you tooked away the desk first!

MISS P.—Well, some one may want it.

JOHNNY—They do. I want it.

MISS P.—(_sharply_) Well, you can’t have it! Now sit down at once in
the place assigned you, or—(_she takes a switch from her desk._)

JOHNNY—(_seating himself_) You don’t give up your seat.

MISS P.—Ah, but I shall to-night, Johnny. I shall give it, as the seat
of honor, to our supervisor, Mr. Barker. I shall be glad to give it to
him, Johnny.

JAKE—(_aside_) Sure she will. She’s settin’ her cap for him.

MISS P.—(_sharply_) What’s that, Jacob?

JAKE—I wish you wouldn’t call me Jay _Cup_. Nobody else ever did. I’d
as lief be called Jay Saucer, any day.

MISS P.—We won’t argue the matter, Jacob. I asked you what you said to

JAKE—I was jest a tellin’ him thet you was more politer than him,
that’s all.

MISS P.—Indeed! We will rehearse now, for this evening.

SAMMY—Be n’t we a goin’ ter trim that ere tree?

PATTY—We brung a heap o’ popcorn, Teacher, all strung.

BETSEY—And we’ve made paper chains, ’n tied up a lot o’ but’nuts in
colored paper.

PETER—’N ma’s made doughnuts ’n tied ’em up in blue ribbing.

SAMMY—Please can’t we trim it fust?

MISS P.—No indeed, you must all rehearse your parts first.

JACOB—Can’t we lug it in?

SALLY—Then we could look at it while we was ’hearsin’.

MISS P.—It might take your attention. No, let it remain where it is for
the present.

JOHNNY—It wants ter be brung in here fer the presents. ’Sides, there
ain’t no presents ben brung yit.

MISS P.—It must remain outside until after the rehearsal.

SAMMY—Somebody may steal it.

MISS P.—I hardly think so, with woods all around us. A tree would
hardly be worth stealing, Sammy. Silence now.

SAMMY—(_aside_) Somebody may steal it, all the same.

HIRAM—Kin we rehearse in custum?

MISS P.—In what, Hiram?

HIRAM—In custom. In our other rigs—our fol-de-rols ’n doodads that
we’re go’n ter wear to-night?

MISS P.—Oh, your costumes? Certainly, if you have brought them. (_Those
who are to change clothing, rush out, pellmell._)

REUBEN—Cuss is a bad swear word, Teacher. Ma licked me when I said it.

MISS P.—I should suppose she would. Little boys mustn’t say naughty

REUBEN—But you said it.

MISS P.—I? Oh no, Reuben, I wouldn’t say a naughty word.

REUBEN—But you did say it, jest the same. You told ’em ter put on their
cuss tunes, ’n ef it’s bad ter call er cow a cuss, it’s bad ter call a
tune one.

MISS P.—Their costumes, Reuben. Their other clothes.

REUBEN—Oh! (_aside, as Aunt Hepsey enters_) But she did say it, ’n she
said it agin.

AUNT HEPSEY—How de do, Miss Peppergrass! I thought I’d jest drap in to
hear the perliminaries, bein’s I couldn’t git out to-night.

MISS P.—(_offering chair_) You are very welcome, Miss Bascom. But do
come to-night.

AUNT HEPSEY—(_sitting down heavily_) Suz me, child, I dassn’t! I kaint
posserbly go out arter dark, count ’o my rheumatiz. Cripples me all up.
I’ll enjy it jest as well now, though, so jest go right ahead, same’s
ef I warn’t here.

SAMMY—Was that ere tree all right when you come in, Aunt Hepsy?

AUNT HEPSY—Land, yes, Sammy. Why shouldn’t it be?

LUCINDY—Sammy’s afraid a bear’ll come along ’n eat it.

SAMMY—Haint neither, but I’m worried ’bout that ere tree. Somebody
might steal it.

(_Re-enter Hiram. He has pulled on the Santa Claus trousers over his
overalls, and stuffed a pillow in front. He is endeavoring to place one

REUBEN—That’s a cuss tune all right.

MISS P.—Reuben!

REUBEN—Well, you say it.

MISS P.—I certainly did not. Say costume, Reuben.

REUBEN—You don’t like it when I say it.

MISS P.—You haven’t said it yet. Say it.

REUBEN—(_sulkily_) Cuss tune.

MISS P.—No, not cuss, cos. Cos-tume. Say it correctly or I shall punish

REUBEN—Cuss, cuss tune.

MISS P.—(_shaking him_) Cos! Say cos.

REUBEN—(_whimpering_) Cu—cuss—cos!

MISS P.—(_shaking again_) Tume.

REUBEN—(_whimpering louder_) Tune.

MISS P.—No, tume. Now say costume.

REUBEN—Coss—tume! Boo, hoo, hoo!

MISS P.—Now sit down and behave yourself. (_Reuben sits down, and
sulks._) (_Hiram has been industriously stuffing in the back pillow,
but the front one has fallen on the floor._)

HIRAM—I kaint git on these ere britches ter save my gizzard.

AUNT HEPSY—Well, I sh’d think you might, Hi, I sure do. They’re big
enough for old Paul Clear, let alone Hi Whittaker.

HIRAM—Big enough! Guess they be, Aunt Hepsy, but fast ez I git the
front piller in, aout it draps while I’m a gittin’ in the one behint.

MISS P.—Let me help you.

HIRAM—Guess I’ll hafter, Teacher, sure. Nice big baby I be, kain’t
dress myself.

MISS P.—Bring in the tunic, and then we’ll see.

HIRAM—The two whats?

MISS P.—The tunic. The blouse. The rest of the suit.

HIRAM—Oh, the jacket? But there ain’t but one, less ’n you count the

MISS P.—Bring the whole of it here.

HIRAM—And the mask? ’N the cap ’n whiskers.

MISS P.—Yes, the whole of it, and hurry.

AUNT HEPSEY—Jest you come here, Hi. I’ll fix you up. Go right on ’ith
your programmy, Miss Peppergrass. I’ll tend ter him. I’ve rigged many a
Santy Claws in my day.

(_She assists Hiram, while the rehearsal goes on._)

MISS P.—Now, children, we must get to work, or we will not be through
by the time they want to trim the tree.

SAMMY—Somebody’ll steal it afore then. Better bring it in, Teacher.

MISS P.—The tree is all right, Sammy. Now I have the programme all
arranged, and we will proceed just as we shall to-night. First will be
the welcome song.

RHODA—Ma says Ruby oughter say his welcome piece fust.

MISS P.—Oh no. We will sing first, then Reuben will speak his piece.

REUBEN—(_starting up_) I’m a-goin’ ter speak first. Ma said so.

MISS P.—Sit down, Reuben, till I call your name.

REUBEN—(_still standing_) Call it first, then. Ma says I gotter say it

AUNT HEPSY—Reckon he’ll hafter, ef his ma says so.

MISS P.—I’m running this school.

AUNT HEPSY—Mebbe so, mebbe so; but you don’t know Hanner Ann Jenkins ’s
well ’s I do, or you’d know thet ef she’d made up her mind thet Ruby
sh’d speak first, she’ll have him do it, ef it breaks up the whole
entertainment. Hev’n’t you ever noticed thet Ruby was kinder sot in his
ways for a youngster? He takes it from his ma, she thet was Hanner Ann
Bean. I’d let him say it fust, ef I was you, I really would.

MISS P.—But I have my programme all arranged.

AUNT HEPSEY—Change it, child. Ef ’twas jest Ruby, you could lick him
inter mindin’, but Hanner Ann is six feet high, ’n weighs over two
hundred. Do let’s have peace at Christmas time. ’N ’twill be anythin’
but peace ef Ruby don’t say that ere leetle varse fust. Go ahead ’n git
it over, Ruby.

(_Reuben comes out, and speaks._)

Welcome,^{1} Mr. Supervisor, welcome,^{2} friends and pairients dear.
On thet^{3} tree I think you’ll find a gift for everybody^{4} here.
Hope^{5} I get a jumpin’ jack, and a bag of candy sweet.^{6}
’N now I’ve said my little piece, I’ll make my bow,^{7} and take my

(_At 1, he bows elaborately to Aunt Hepsy, in the teacher’s chair. At
2, he bows to school. At 3, he points to side of room. At 4, he opens
his arms, flinging his hands widely apart. At 5, he clasps his hands,
with a loud clap, gazing upward. At 6, he smacks his lips. At 7, he
bows again. At 8, he runs to seat._)

RHODY—He didn’t say it right, teacher. It’s “Hope I get a pretty toy.”

REUBEN—Well, a jumpin’ jack’s a pretty toy, aint it? It’s what I want,

RHODY—Ma’ll lick you, ef you say it so.

TEACHER—That will do, Rhoda. Let him fight it out with his mother
himself. If he gets a whipping, it’s no more then he deserves.

RHODY—But Ma said for you to make him say it right.

MISS P.—If he’s to say it when he pleases, he may say it as he pleases,
for all I care.

AUNT HEPSY—She’ll skin him alive, ef he does say it wrong. Hanner Ann
writ that ere little varse herself, ’n she’s prouder of it than a
kitten with its fust mouse. Better say “pretty toy,” Ruby, ef your ma
says so.

REUBEN—A jumpin’ jack is a pretty toy.

MISS P.—We will now sing our welcome song. (_Several begin to sing, in
different keys. Miss P. raps on her desk and they stop._)

MISS P.—No, no, children. Wait till I give you the key. I will start
the songs, and you must wait for me. Why, what would people think if
you started in like that, all out of tune?

AUNT HEPSY—Think it was a lot o’ sheep a blartin’, most likely.

(_Children laugh. Miss P. raps for order, gets the key, with an
old-fashioned tuning fork, if one can be obtained, and starts the
song. All stand up to sing. Tune: “Tramp, tramp, tramp, the boys are


We are gathered^{1} here to-night, on this Christmas Eve so bright,
Just to show you all^{2} the things that we can do.
We are glad^{3} to see you here, friends and parents kind and dear,
And we give^{4} a hearty welcome now to you.


Welcome,^{5} welcome, friends and parents!
Welcome, welcome now to you.
We^{6} will speak and we will sing, and some music we will bring,
And we’ll do it every bit,^{7} kind friends, for you.^{8}

Just^{9} behold that Christmas tree, loaded^{10} down for you and me,
Presents^{11} hanging from its boughs for great and small.
There are dolls^{12} and toys and drums, apples, cakes, and sugarplums,
Something nice^{13} is there, I’m sure, for one and all.^{14}

Santa Claus^{15} is drawing near. He will be here, never fear^{16}.
With a pack^{17} well loaded, he’ll come down^{18} the flue.
Soon we’ll hear^{19} his sleighbells’ chime, while the reindeer’s^{20}
hoofs beat time,
And whatever^{21} you want most he’ll bring to you^{22}.

(_In singing, let some do the motions well, some awkwardly, while some
exaggerate them._)

(_Motions—1, Clasp hand on breast. 2, hands together, throw them
widely apart. 3, boys bow elaborately, girls courtesy. 4, hold out
hands, in greeting. 5, clap hands, through two lines. 6, touch breast,
with both hands. 7, gesture with right forefinger. 8, throw right
hand out, forefinger pointing. 9, point to where tree is to be. 10,
bend forward. 11, both hands high, drooping from wrists. 12, point to
imaginary articles, making little jabs in air, here and there, as each
is mentioned. 13, clasp hands. 14, throw hands widely apart. 15, clap
softly. 16, shake forefinger to music. 17, hold arms to designate large
pack. 18, hands high, bring down together. 19, hand to ear, listening.
20, beat time, with right foot. 21, clasp hands. 22, gesture with right

_Hiram sings from where Aunt Hepsy is dressing him, and Patty and Faith
step inside door and sing, then pop back into entry. Patty may be
partly dressed, and Fay partly undressed._)

AUNT HEPSY—(_clapping_) Brayvo, children, brayvo! Where ever did
you find sech a proprate song as that, Miss Peppergrass? (_Miss P.
simpers_) You never writ it your own self, did you? Wal, I guess
that’ll take the wind outen Hanner Ann Jenkinses sails. I allers
thought a heap o’ po’try, myself, but I s’posed it took a lot o’
brains to write it. Did it take you days ’n days? And what was all the
flumadoodles with their hands for?

MISS P.—Why, motion songs are very popular in the cities, I’ve heard,
so I thought we would give some at our entertainment.

AUNT HEPSY—Yes, indeedy! Punkin Holler allers did pride itself on
keepin’ right up to date. We’re no hayseeders in this commoonerty.

MISS P.—Don’t you think the motions were very graceful?

AUNT HEPSY—I haint a doubt they was, Miss Peppergrass, not a mite o’
doubt; but I was so flabbergasted at hearin’ them ere new words sung to
thet old tune and so dumfounded at seein’ all them young ’uns a wavin’
their paws, wild like, in the air, thet I never once noticed if it war
graceful. It sure was, though, an’ that’s a fact.

MISS P.—Next will be a recitation by Lucinda Lowe. An old poem, with
new variations. (_Lucinda advances, bows very low, and recites. She
announces the name of her piece, as do all, in the old-fashioned way._)


Mary had a little lamb
With kinky, soot-black wool.
He tagged her everywhere she went,
Just like a little fool.

AUNT HEPSY—Fool be’nt a pretty word, Lucindy. Why don’t you say

LUCINDY—’Twon’t rhyme.

AUNT HEPSY—But it’s a deal high-toneder.

LUCINDY—All right. I don’t care. (_Announces title again, and begins._)

Mary had a little lamb,
With kinky, soot-black wool.
He tagged her everywhere she went,
Just like a little-numb-head.

He tagged along to school one day,
Agin the teacher’s rule.
He kicked up his heels, and blarted right out,
To see a Christmas tree in school.

The teacher tried to turn him out,
But, nimble as a cat,
He sent his little hind heels out,
And knocked the teacher flat.

“What makes the critter act that way?”
The eager children cry.
“Because it is a holiday,”
Was Mary’s quick reply.

The lamb he danced around the tree,
And blarted out his song,
As if upon the program-mee
He really did belong.

He bunted down some candy bags
And frisked around some more,
Till Mary caught him by the ears,
And pulled him through the door.

Now take a warning from this tale,
And tie your critters tight,
So no ungainly beast shall spoil
Our Christmas tree to-night.

(_Bows, and takes seat._)

HIRAM—Look out, Sammy. She’s put that lamb of hers out doors, and he’ll
eat up the Christmas tree.

SAMMY—Can’t we bring it in now, teacher?

MISS P.—You can _not_. (_as Sammy tries to speak_) No, no one will
steal it.

SAMMY—Some one may eat it.

MISS P.—I hardly think any one will be hungry enough for that. People
do not eat trees.

SAMMY—Deers do, ’n bears, ’n—’n—moose! Jes’ s’pos’n a big moose comed
along, ’n et off all the branches!

MISS P.—We’ll risk it, I think. Next on the programme is a duet by
Jacob Toothaker and Rhoda Jenkins.

(_They come out, bow to the chair, then to the school, then,
elaborately to each other, and sing to the tune, “Reuben, Reuben, I’ve
Been Thinking.”_)


Jacob, Jacob, I’ve ben thinkin’
What a grand good thing ’twould be
If each day could jest be Christmas,
With a great big Christmas tree.

(_Pauses. Looks inquiringly at Jake, who looks sulkily at her._)

AUNT HEPSY—Wal, why in tunket don’t ye go on?

RHODA—’Taint my turn. It’s his’n.

AUNT HEPSY—Chirp it up, Jake.


MISS P.—Come, Jacob sing your verse.

JAKE—I won’t sing it, ’n I won’t sing it ternight, nuther, ef she calls
me Jay Cup! ’Taint my name, ’n I don’t keer ef ’t does sound stylisher,
so there! My name’s allers been Jake tel this term er school. By next
it’ll be Jake Platter, I expect.

RHODA—But Jake hasn’t got syllerbles ernough.

AUNT HEPSY—Sing it (_sings_) “Jakie, Jakie, I’ve ben thinkin’.” That’ll
go all right.

JAKE—’Twon’t nuther. Jakie’s a kid’s name. It’s Jake er nuthin’. Ef she
sings it so, I’ll sing back, ’n ef she don’t, I won’t.

MISS P.—I never saw such stubborn children in my life. Did ever you,
Miss Bascom?

AUNT HEPSEY—Land, yes, child. His pa’s jest like him. Him ’n me was
promised, once, ’n he wouldn’t git spliced less’n I’d wear a blue
delaine he’d bought fer me. Course, _I_ warnt so mulish az he war, but
I’d sot my heart on a white dimity, ’n bein’s I war the one to wear it,
twar his place to give in. But he wouldn’t—no siree! ’N we bickered ’n
bickered bout it, ’n I went right on a makin’ up the white dimity ’n
finally he says, says he, “Hepsey, it’s me an’ the blue delaine, or the
white dimity for an ole maid.” “Land sakes!” says I, “You don’t say so?
Wal, you kin jes’ take yer old blue delaine, ’n hunt ye up a gal meek
enough ter be married—’n buried, in it,” says I, ’n off he went, mad as
a hatter. Much ’s ever he speaks to me yit, but I was married—in the
white dimity—two year afore he found a gal that ’d have him, ’n could
wear that blue delaine. You see, I’d cut ’n made it, ’n I was slender
in those days—the slenderest gal in town. Yes, Ezry Toothaker’s some
sot, ’n Jake comes nat’rally by it. Sing it to suit him, Rhody, do!
’Tain’t ’s ef ’twas fer allers. It’s jest ternight.

RHODA—But there’s two notes, Aunt Hepsy.

AUNT HEPSY—Draw out the Jake good ’n long, ’n it’ll go. This way.
(_sings_) “Jake, Jake, I’ve been thinkin’.”

RHODA—(_sings_) (_She makes the “Jake” decidedly jerky._)

Jake,^{1} Jake, I’ve ben thinkin’
What a grand^{2} good thing ’twould be
If each day could jest be Christmas,
With a great^{3} big Christmas tree.


Rhody,^{4} Rhody, I’ve ben thinkin’
What a grand^{5} good thing ’twould be,
If we never had no Christmas,
’Cos it costs too much, you see.


Too^{6}-ra-loo-ra-loo^{1}-ra laddie,
Too^{7}-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra lay.
If it { always^{8} } could be Christmas,
{ never^{9} }
Wouldn’t^{10} that be grand and gay?


Jake,^{1} Jake, I’ve ben thinkin’
That upon yon^{3} Christmas tree,
Hangs a present from your sweetheart^{11},
Something nice^{12} it’s sure to be.


Rhody^{4}, Rhody, I’ve been thinkin’
That there hangs on that^{13} ere tree,
A leetle^{14} box for my young sweetheart.
Cost a quarter^{15}. Yes-sir-ree!
(_Both sing chorus, as before._)


Jake^{16}, Jake, I’ve ben thinkin’


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