Southern accent, Sept. 2008-Apr. 2009 (Volume v.64) online

Vexation: Resources
wasted in clothing produc-
tion.

Solution: Thrift shop-
ping not only keeps cloth-
ing out of landfills and
cuts back on waste, also it
saves resources that would
have been used in produc-
tion had you decided to buy
your new winter wardrobe
at the mall. Plus, it helps
put a dent in the problem
of worldwide sweatshops.

Implementation:
Thrift stores abound in
the area. I've made some
killer finds at the Samari-
tan Center in Collegedale.
The Goodwill (by the Rave
Theater, off I-24) and



America's Thrift Store (by
McKay's, on Old Lee High-
way) can also produce some
good finds.

Clarification: If the
treasure hunt that is thrift
shopping is a bit too time-
consuming for you, hy
shops like Plato's Closet
(200 Hamilton Place Blvd.
Chattanooga), which are
generally smaller and more
selective with the items
they carry. If you're still
feeling snobby about thrift
shopping, then the least
you could do is donate the
clothes you no longer wear
to a local thrift store. The
Samaritan Center sets up a
donation center on campus
at the end of the year.



Know your tiny
countries



Isle of Man



Capital: Douglas

Location: In the middle
of the Irish Sea, between Ire-
land and Great Britain.

Size: 32.5 miles long
and 13.5 miles wide (221 sq.
miles), smaller than Nash-
ville, TN.

Population: Just under
8o,cxx>

Language: English,

however Manx Gaelic, the
island's "old" language is
used along with English on
government documents and
road signs School children
over the age of seven are also
given the option to learn it in
school.



Representation: The

Isle of Man has it's own par-
liament, the Tynwald, which
is an institution formed by
the Vikings over a thousand
years ago and is arguably
the oldest parliament in the
world.

National Symbol: The
Three Legs of Man, clad in
armor and bearing spurs,
run in a clockwise direction
and bear the Latin motto
'Quocunque Jeceris Stabif
or "Whichever way you throw
it, it will stand' - a testament
to islanders' independence
and resilience.

"infofromisleojman. com/tourism



This
Weekend

Not sure what to do this
weekend? Here are a few
ideas to get you headed in the
right direction.

Friday Market

Miller Plaza, Market St.
Chattanooga

11 a.m. - 2 p.m., Every Fri-
day of October

Free

Farm grown produce,
canned goods, art, etc.

Downtownchattanooga.org

GoJFest at Chattanooga
Zoo

9 a.m. - 5 p.m., Saturday,
Oct. 11

Free on this day
Gofestchattanooga.org

Prater's Mill Country
Fair

Dalton, GA

9 a.m.- 5 p.m., Sunday,
Oct. 12

$5 admission, free parking
pratersmill.org

Black Bear Cove Native
American Festival

Benton, TN

9 a.m. - 5 p.m., Sunday,
Oct. 12

$5 pel - carload

Grand Entry begins at
noon.

Blackbearcove.com

Atlanta Falcons vs. Chi-
cago Bears

Georgia Dome, Atlanta (also j
on Fox and 92.9 Dave-FM)
1 p.m. , Sunday, Oct. 12
Ticket prices vary
Atlantafalcons.com




THURSDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2008

sports



Rebels, Unity win fourth straight title



Ldjski Cherisol
SuhlWhuer



History took place Saturday
night as hundreds of students
and supporting family mem-
bers gathered for the annual
All Night Softball games. Out
of the 37 teams that participat-
ed, only two managed to write
their names in Southern's soft-
ball hall of fame.

"Its nice to be in a college
where there's all night soft-
ball," said Kati Britton, a pub-
lic relations broadcast major
from Union College. "Every-
one is very high school spir-
ited"

Despite everyone being
excited about All Night Soft-
ball, the cold air had many in
| sweaters and blankets with
I temperatures as low as 52 de-
grees.

"I will be here all night un-
; til it is over," said Mike Boyd,
assistant professor of physical
I education. "If everybody in
(school is down here and hap-
1 py, then I'm a happy man."
I For the fourth year in a row,
â– the Men's A League Champi-
lonship hosted the Rebels, and
the Women's A League Cham-
Jpionship hosted Team Unity.
*Both teams accomplished four
Rhampionship appearances
I and broke records in Southern

sports history.
m Team Unity defeated Team
BB in an interesting match that




The



Photo By Marlm Ihomtan
efor aphoto after winning the championsHp game.



displayed Unity's strength and
hustle in the women's softball
division.

The men's championship
game was tight the first two
innings until Rebels' power
house, Brent Ford, hit a two-
run home run to get the team'
going. By the top of the fifth
it was 7-1 with Team Fresco
against the ropes until Alex
Bolanos stepped up to cut the
deficit to 7-4.

As the freshness began to
come back to Fresco, Rebels'
James Herod and Ryan Haag
hit back to back home runs.
Ford came to the plate yet
again and hit a three-run home
run to boost the lead. Despite
the Rebels' phenomenal bat-
ting, Team Fresco fought back.
Fresco's Andy Johnson hit a
two-run home run and Cesar



Bernardino hit a home run to
bring the score to 12-7. Fresco
left it all on the field, but it
wasn't enough to match the
firepower of the Rebels.

Winning another champi-
onship did not cover the dis-
appointment for the Rebels
dynasty since this will be their
last year playing together. All
but one of their players is a
graduating senior.

"It's sad because it'll be an
end of an era," said Eric Otis, a
senior business management
major.

The games started at 8:30
p.m. and did not end until 7: 30
a.m. on Sunday. Though tired,
students walked back to their
dormitories, proud to say they
attended Southern during the
years of the prowess of Unity
and Rebels softball.



Matsuzaka to
open for Red
Sox against Rays

BOSTON (AP) Daisuke Mat-
suzaka will be on the mound
Eg the Red Sox when the
AL championship series be-
gins Friday night against the
Tampa Bay Rays.That doesn't
make him Boston's ace.
Josh Beckett is still No. 1 in the
Red Sox rotation — especially
during the playoffs — even
though he had the worst out-
ing of the three Boston start-
ers who faced the Los Angeles
Angels in the firstround. Beck-
ett, coming off a strained side



muscle, is scheduled to pitch
Game 2 in the best-of-seven
series against the Rays.
"Before Beckett's last start, he
was the best postseason pitch-
er maybe in the history of the
game," Red Sox manager Ter-
ry Francona said Wednesday
after announcing his rotation.
"He had the audacity to be a
little rusty after two weeks. We
don't need to run away from
Beckett, we need to get him on
arun."

Francona chose Matsuzaka to
start against the Rays in Game
1 not because of Beckett's in-
jury, and certainly not because
the team lost any faith in a guy
who won five straight postsea-



son outings before Boston's
Game 3 loss to the Angels.
Even with his off night versus
L.A., Beckett is 6-2 with a 2.09
ERA in his postseason career.
Instead, Francona said, the
Red Sox scheduled Beckett
for the second game because
it would give him, Matsuzaka
and Game 3 starter Jon Lester
essentially the same amount
of rest. Tim Wakefield will
start Game 4, with Matsuza-
ka, Beckett and Lester ready
to pitch again in Games 5-7 if
necessary.

"Nobody's going to throw
three," Francona said. "So
having those three twice is re-
ally what's important, regard-



THE SOUTHERN ACCENT 9

Zack Livingston

Sports Editor.

[email protected]



Intramurals Schedule


Men's A North Division


10/9 6 PM


Last Minute/Business Time


Field 1


10/9 7 PM


Shake N' Bake/Regulators


Field 3


10/13 6 PM


Last Minute/The Plague


Field 3


10/13 6 PM


Regulators/Business Time


Field 1


10/14 6 PM


Last Minute/Team Fresh


Field 1


10/14 8 PM


Shake N' Bake/Ninja Turtles


Field 3


Men's A South Division




10/9 6 PM


Bietz Me Again/yaMAHA Shuffle


Field 3


10/9 8 PM


Squirrel Tails /Showtime


Field 1


10/9 8 PM


Smash Bros/Cohutta Wild


Field 3


10/13 7 PM


Showtime/Smash Bros


Field 3


10/13 8 PM


Squirrel Tails /Sell Outs


Field 1


10/13 9 PM


Cohutta Wild/yaMAHAShuffle


Field 1


10/14 6PM


Showtime/Cohutta Wild


Field 3


Men's B North Division




10/9 6 PM


Bietz Me Again/yaMAHA Shuffle


Field 3


10/9 8 PM


Squirrel Tails /Showtime


Field 1


10/9 8 PM


Smash Bros/Cohutta Wild


Field 3


10/13 7PM


Showtime/Smash Bros


Field 3


10/13 8 PM


Squirrel Tails/Sell Outs


Field 1


10/13 9 PM


Cohutta Wild/yaMAHAShuffle


Field 1


10/14 6 PM


Showtime/Cohutta Wild


Field 3


Men's B South Division




10/9 7 PM


IronMan/Aghhhh


Field 1


10/9 9:PM


Los Toros/McThunderstix


Field 3


10/13 7 PM


McThunderstix /IronMan


Field 1


10/13 8 PM


Band of Brothers/ Aghhhh


Field 3


10/14 7 PM


Pickanewname/The Horde


Field 3


10/14 8 PM


IronMan/Band of Brothers


Field 1


Women's A Division




10/9 9PM


Pageant Pistons /Raging Penguins Field 2


10/13 8PM


Pageant Pistons/October Rush


Field 2


10/13 9PM


Raging Penguins/Suga Rush


Field 2


10/14 7 PM


MeDream Team/Lunachicks


Field 1


10/14 8 PM


Raging Penguins/October Rush


Field 2


Women's B Division




10/9 6 PM


Pink Ladies/Chameleons


Field 2


10/9 7 PM


Black Diamonds/Oh Snaps


Field 2


10/9 8 PM


Kung Fu Pandas/Mangos tein


Field 2


10/13 6 PM


Blazn/Chameleons


Field 2


10/13 7? M


Black Diamonds/Mangostein


Field 2


10/14 6PM


Oh Snaps /Chameleons


Field 2


10/14 7 PM


Mangostein/Cinco de Poplar


Field 2



less of how its lined up." raising his pitch count andlim-

Matsuzaka was 18-3 with a iting him to 167 2-3 innings.

2.90 ERA this season, best "We're going to have to wait

among the Boston starters in him out and see how he's

both categories. But he also throwing," Rays rookie Evan

led the rotation with 94 walks, Longoriasaid.



THE SOUTHERN ACCENT 10



THURSDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2008



chatter



Food Drive: | NOW through
Nov. 21 , Psi Chi will be hosting
a food drive to benefit the Sa-
maritan Center. Six donation
bins are located throughout
campus in Talge, Thatcher,
Thatcher South, the Village
Market, the Dining Hall and
Summerour. Donations will
benefit families in need
throughout the holiday sea-
son. What better way to help
use up those extra dollars on
your meal plan before the end
of the semester? Pleasebegra-
dous and donate a few NON-
PERISHABLE food items be-
tween now and Nov. 21 and
help make someone's holiday
season a little happier.

Wanted | Non-art major stu-
dents who would like to display
their work in an exhibit at Mc-
Kee Library during the month
of November. Plan ahead,
bring your work to the library
following mid-semester break.
For additional info call #2727
or contact [email protected]
edu or [email protected]
edu This is your opportunity
to display your artistic talents.
(Art majors have opportu-
nity to exhibit throughout the
year).

Group Link | FridayOct. loat
9P after vespers at the church.
This is an event to meet others
and form We-pods.



1



Messiah's Mansion | A full
scale model of Moses' Sanctu-
ary.is coming to Chattanooga's '
Warner Park on October 18th
and will be here until the 26th.
Free tours will be given from
2-7P, leaving every 15 minutes.
Don't miss this exciting educa-
tional and historical exhibit!

Prayer Groups | 7:15a M-F
near the flag pole; i2:oop
MWF in the Student Center
seminar room; 5:oop M-F at
the fountain between Hack-
man and the library.

December Graduates |

must order graduation regalia



1 Jpromin g event ^cakndar



Friday,
October 10

7p - Upper Room, Prayer & Revival
(Church Gospel Chapel)

7:i2p - Sunset

8p - Vespers, John Talbert (Church)

After Vespers - "Group Link" to form
We-Pods (Church Fellowship Hall)

Saturday,
October 11

9:3010:15a - Continental Breakfast
(Church Fellowship Hall)

10:15a - Saltworks Sabbath School
(Seminar Room-upstairs)

9:75 Sabbath School (Church
Fellowship Hall)

SMC Sabbath School (Gospel
Chapel-upstairs)

Adoration - John Nixon (Church)

11:30a - Connect, Jon Talbert (Col-



11:45a - Renewal, John Nixon
(Church)

i:i5p - Patten Tower Church (Meet -
Wright Hall Steps)

Bible Workers Outreach North
River (Meet - Wright Hall Steps)

3:i5p - Lawn Concert (Goliath Wall)

7p - Evensong, Collegedale Academy
Choir (Church)

8p - Southern Union Gymnastic
Show (lies P.E. Center)

8-lop - Men's Club Bowling Night
(Hobday Bowl in Chattanooga) Cur-
rent Southern ID card required.

Sunday,
October 12

7:3op - Wind Symphony Concert
(Church) Convocation Credit!

Monday,
October 13



Columbus Day

Canadian Thanksgiving Day

3:3op - University Senate

Tuesday,
October 14

11a- Senior Class Organization Meet-
ing (Brock #333)

7 & lop - Residence Hall Joint Wor-
ship (Thatcher Chapel)

7:3op - Nathaniel Dett Chorale
(Church) Double Convocation Credit!

Wednesday,
October 15

5p - McKee Library Closes

Thursday,
October 16

National Boss Day
Midterm Break: No Classes
University Health Center Closed
9a-5p - McKee Library Open

Friday,
October 17

Midterm Break: No Classes
University Health Center Closed
7:3op - Sunset

Saturday,
October 18

9: 30-10: 15a - Continental Breakfast
(Church Fellowship Hall)

10:15a - Saltworks Sabbath School
(Seminar Room-upstairs)

975 Sabbath School (Church
Fellowship Hall)

SMC Sabbath School (Gospel
Chapel-upstairs)

Adoration - John Nixon (Church)

11:30a - Connect, Jackie James (Col-
legedale Academy)

11:45a - Renewal, John Nixon



(Church)

Sunday,
October 19

Midterm Break: No Classes
University Health Center Closed
8a-3p - Flea Market (Wood/Talge
Parking Lot)
6-np - McKee Library Open

Monday,
October 20

GRE Subject Exam only (Lynn
Wood)

3: 30p - Undergraduate Council

Tuesday,
October 21

I2p - Tornado Siren Test

5p - MidTerm grades due, verified
(Records)

7&iop - Residence Hall Joint Wor-
ship (Thatcher)

Wednesday,
October 22

12-ip - Employee Brown Bag, Ruth
Williams Morris (Presidential Banquet
Room)

Thursday,
October 23

7:i5p - SA Senate (White Oak Room)

Last Day for 40% tuition refund: No
tuition refund after today

Alumni Homecoming

11a - Convocation, Victor & Alia
Czerkasij (Church)

3:3op - Graduate Council (Robert
Merchant Room)

5-6:3op - SA Supper (lies P.E. Cen-
ter)

6p - Alumni Banquet (Dining Hall)



and invitations. at www.shop.
jostens.com by the October
28 deadline. All graduation
seniors for December or May
are required to turn in a senior
contract to the Records & Ad-
visement Office.

McKee Library | now opens
at 7:45a, Monday through Fri-
day!

Senior class organization
meeting | is Tuesday, Oct. 14,
at 11:00a in 333 Brock Hall.
Come and elect your officers



and sponsors. Convocation
credit will be given.

DEEP Weekend | On Sab-
bath, Oct. 11 Oakwood Univer-
sity is coming to worship with
us in the Collegedale Seventh-
Day Adventist Church. They
will be joining us for the 11:45a
Renewal service. John Nixon
is preaching on last day events
and Oakwood's choir, The
Aeolians, will be performing
for the service. Also, Oakwood
will have musical groups that
will be performing in the lawn



concert at the Goliath Wall
that afternoon. Join us in wel-
coming the students from our
sister institution through wor-
ship, fellowship and praise.



October 10

Abner Fuentes, Adam Young,
Angela Sadler, Brent WiUard,
Brittney Burtnett, Brock Baer,
Dasha Kulakov, Keri Mau, Mia
Slocuxnb, Mya Slocumb



October 11

Brooke Wade, Dan Johnson, I
Erica Richards, Hal ConleyJ
James Fedusenko, Jenni Dan- 1
nenberger, Jon Kurzynske, r
Jordan Hill, Josh Jaeger,
Lewis Bertus, Phillippa R* [
Tiffany Sands

October 12

Annalisa Molina, Dan G*!
hard, Deanna Baasch, Is«*l
Tyman, Jamie Kttenuaii,|
Laurel Guthrie, Mi'
Bates, Michael Browne,
Goldstein

BIRTHDAYS CONTINUED ON &



THURSDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2008



classifieds



THE SOUTHERN ACCENT 1 1



Guitar lessons | Be a rock
star! Affordable guitar les-
sons, both group and indi-
vidual. Beginners and in-
termediate, flexible times.
E-mail Rika for more info at
[email protected]

Seeking female house-
mate | Looking for a female
to live with 3 other girls 1 mile
from Southern. Private room,
shared bath, wireless Internet,
cable, dining room, kitchen,
mud room, living room, porch
and big back yard. $200 /mo.
Plus water and utilities. Call
Melanie at 423-667-7564.

Marissa's Bakery | What do
you enjoy eating Friday eve-
ning for supper? Do you starve
on Sabbath mornings when
the cafe is closed? How about
some fresh banana bread?
Delicious blueberry muffins?
! Savory Cinnamon Rolls? If so,
i call 916-847-9495, or e-mail
I [email protected]
j edu with your order by 4 p.m.
levery Thursday afternoon.

Rooms for rent | 2 rooms
Ifor rent for female students.



Located 7 miles from Colleg-
edale, 3 miles fromOoltewah.
Access to kitchen, laundry,
cable and wireless Internet.
Quiet home in the country
with large deck Available im-
mediately for $85 a week. Call
Angela cell: 423-280-3243
Home: 423-238-1490.

Schwinn world sport
road bike | $60 - Call An-
drew at 423-236-7243.

Like working outdoors?

Need an experienced farm
hand man who can help take
care of our property 4 miles
from campus:

Will require mowing, chain
saw work, weed eating, burn-
ing and other lawn care duties.
Equipment and gas supplied.
$io.oo/hr. Must be commit-
ted, consistent and reliable.
Call Patrick at 706-264-9441.

Scooter for sale | 2004 Ves-

pa ET-4, 150CC Scooter with

only 375 miles!

Like new, hardly used, pearl

white metallic, rear storage

compartment,

3 Vespa helmets included, re-



Have a vehicle to sell?
Looking for a

roommate?

Making custom buttons

and magnets?

Send your classifieds to: [email protected]



cently serviced, new battery.
Excellent gas mileage.
Asking $2,750. Serious in-
quiries only please. Call
706-264-9441.

Gulf bumper | 2000 VW
Golf rear bumper. Black, in
good condition. Whether you
need a new real" bumper for
your VW or just a big chunk of
ABS plastic for an art project, I
need this thing gone, $30. Call
Jonathan 605-8437.

Mountain Hardwear jack-
et I Mens medium, windstop-
per fleece, dark green, a great



jacket for the weather right
now, worn a few times over
the last 2 years, $60. Call Jon-
athan 605-8437.

Media viewer for sale

MyVu pmv-ioo3i "solo edi-
tion" personal media viewer
(video glasses) - for 5th gen
iPod video only. Watch movies
on your iPod without straining
to see the tiny screen, $60.
Call Jonathan 605-8437.

Dog pen for sale |6 x 6 x 10

All hardware included. Call
Katrina at 423-284-6954
Whirlpool fridge | Black,



dorm-sized fridge ingood con-
dition for $90. Call Samara at
423-313-0832 or e-mail at
[email protected]

Web cam | Orange Micro
iBOT2 USB 2.0 Web Camera
for sale. $10.

Call Monika at 909-534-5742.
Apple MacBook laptop |
Excellent condition. 2.0 GHz
Intel Core 2 Duo processor,
120GB Hard Drive, 2GB of
RAM, with Leopard & (Life '08
installed. $895. Contact Ryan
at (423) 285-8745



Shatter mntini iftri



October 13

^Angela Aalborg, Bansuk Ju,
fcarolyn Achata, Dale Pickett,
(Gabriel Santa Cruz, Jeanna
Stewart, Joseph Perricellia,
Judy Sloan, Lisa Howard,
Miguelina Santana, Ryan Yeo,
Seth Neria, Viktorija Rimko

October 14

Cameron Houmann, Chris
Hansen, Christine Jett, Eliza-
beth Underwood, Esther My-
ers, Heinz Wiegand, Jacque
Ules, Jessica Parks, Maleah
Humphrey, Neena Wester-
beck, Sara Schaetzka

•ctober 15

ndrea Comejo, Ann Greer,
Brittany Weis, Huley Morgan,
Jennifer O'Neal, Jonathan
â–  Cross, Lincoln Llewellyn, Max
Cpon, Rayon Dixon, Stephanie
Laroch

itober 16

ttder Stele, Bannor



Downs, Brian Gauthier, Carrie
Cook, Danielle James, Guian
Goulet, Jared Williams, Jon
Remitera, Jonathan Ghulam,
Malissa Giles, Stephen Ja-
mieson, Tracy Windover

October 17

Alise Ionashku, Alyssa Minear,
Andira Ferguson, Ashlee Dol-
lar, Joe Valente, Joselyn Ghu-
lam, Katie Goodwin, Lawrence
Kirk, Megan Sutherland, Me-
lissa Couser, Missy Swanson

October 18

Andrew Aldridge,BraamOber-
holster, Craig Stephan, Helen
Durichek, Julie Marques,
Katherine Holder, Kimberly
Jepson, Nate Dubs, Rina Men-
doza, Sean Bispham, Shanshan
Zhang, Stacey Sausa,

October 19

Alien Clayton, Betty Water-
house, Cassidy Stone, Chris
Conley, Heather Bullock, Josh



Baltzer, Kevin De Leon, Steve mobi, Roxana Martinez, Tj
Bauer Limerick



October 20

Adrienne Vernon, Beverly Er-
icson , Brandon Smith,
Chris Wombold, Erika Brown,
Ingeborg Hogganvik, Jona-
than Hauser, Kevin Orrison,
Kristopher Orrison, Lindsey
Walston, Oluwakorede Aju-



October 21

Gabriel Goia, Josh Korson,
Kimberly Cruz, Kristie Hoover,
Linda Crumley, Luamy Corne-
jo, Lucas Valenca, Trista Brad-
burn, Tyler Quiring



October 22

Becca Busche, Canique Brown,
Jason Noseworthy, Pamela
Weaver, Samantha Hanaway,
Sarah Crowe

October 23

Adam Rego, Caroline Gates,
Eunjie Shin, Ezequiel Vasquez,
Gabriel Trujillo, Owen Maupin,
Ryan Johnson, Stuart King



just can't get enough?



The Southern Accent is now online at

accent.southern.edu



12 THE SOUTHERN ACCENT



humor



THURSDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2008

Adam Wamack

Humor Editor

[email protected]hern.edu



../lAiPPd" I NO, CHRIS.




Thumbs



up



down



Vice presidential debate going so
well between Sen. Joe Bidden
and Gov. Sarah Palin. At least
Sen. Bidden's dentures didn't fall
out. What up.



Unemployment and inflation
hitting new highs as our econo-
my teeters on the brink of all out
recession.



Pastor Nixon's sermon this past
IT) Sabbath at Collegedale church
on sexual healing.



Midterm exams right around the
corner... long nights and lots of Cj~ \
Roma. ;)



fZ-S Midterm break right around two
corners! Woo-hoo!



Rushing out the door in the
morning with a just a T-shirt and
realizing that it's 32.5 degrees
outside, and not having enough
time to go get a sweater
because you are late for class.



Faculty Humor




We here at South-
ern are blessed with
many wonderful pro-
fessors, but one hard-
ly gets a chance to see
what type of humor
interests different
types of prjfessors.
Let's ask them!



"In business humor is useful, you can
use it to defuse really tense situations,
but you have to know when to use it.

"If you use advanced social skills, hu-
mor can be used to loosen people up a
bit.

"People think that accountants aren't
funny, but we're people, too, not just
mindless robots doing credits and deb-
its."

-Kimberiy Miller, assistant for the
School of Business and Management

Famous humor

"Humor is the only test of
gravity, and gravity of humor;
for a subject which will not bear
raillery is suspicious, and a jest
which will not bear serious ex-
amination is false wit."
-Aristotle

"I was recently on a tour of
Latin America, and the only
regret I have was that I didn't
study Latin harder in school
so I could converse with those
people."

-Dan Quayle, former
senator of Indiana

"The recipe for perpetual
ignorance is: be satisfied with
your opmions and content with
your knowledge."

-filbert Hubbard



WANTED

1 Girls at Southern seeking decent guys

I to man up and ask us on a date (not vespers).'

I

if: Wewillsayyes,atleastforthefirstdate. :

.' Howelsedoyouexpecttomeetgirls?* i



Just because you ask us on a date doesn't
mean you need a ring for the second date.




Submit your caption

Submit the funniest caption you can think offer this ph° t0
the humor editor's e-mail ([email protected] edu). The 1 '
three funniest captions will be printed in next week's issue-



SOUTHERNS ACCENT



Th ursday, October 23, 2008

Professor's son
shoots and kills
brother, father



THE STUDENT VOICE SINCE 1926



Emily Young



Douglas Pyke, the 37-year-
old -son of Helen Pyke, an
English professor at Southern,
has been charged with capital
murder for shooting and kill-
ing his father and brother. The
bodies of Teddy Pyke, Helen
Pyke's ex-husband, and her
oldest son Greg were found on
Oct. 10, according to the Asso-
ciated Press.

After the incident, other
professors in the English de-
partment taught Helen Pyke's
classes until midterm break.
They were prepared to take
over her classes for the rest
of the semester if she needed
the time off, said Jan Haluska,
chair of the English depart-
ment. However, the Monday
after fall break, Helen Pyke
came back to work.

"She walked in beautifully
calm and ready to teach," Ha-
luska said.