Emma Florence Cunliffe.

Southern accent, Sept. 2008-Apr. 2009 (Volume v.64) online

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be joining us at vespers this week
to share his music and worship

uUUA.*to*~l« r





Get your Green On


Vexation: Way too

man}' half-empty product
containers in landfills.

Solution: Use ALL your
toothpaste (lotion, hair gel,
etc.) before chucking the

Many of us may already be
acquainted with product
saving techniques. If you
already put these following
tips into practice, then go
ahead and pat yourself on
the back for being so green.
If you haven't thought
about it much, here are a
few tried and true ideas.

Invest in a toothpaste
winger or cut your tooth-

paste tube in half to get to
the excess that you can't
squeeze out. Try adding
a little water to shampoo,
conditioner or even laun-
dry detergent bottles, and
then shake 'em up baby!
And don't forget to store
containers upside down.

Clarification: About
10 percent of many per-
sonal products go unused
because people toss the
containers before they are
empty. This means more
trash headed to the landfill
and fewer dollars in your

*tip and info from idealbite.com


of the Week

If you could be filthy good at one
thing, what would it be?

Every sport, because it would be awesome if a girl could
dominate them all. - Andie Schafer

Convincing people that all the things I like to do are really
fun. - Jessi Turner

Probably just flying. - Anthony Handal

The robot, and when I'd walk down the promenade, every-
one would say, 'Hey, there goes the robot guy! He's so good
at the robot.' - Donnie Keele

Preparing fugu.* - Jordan Wagner

Motivational speaking. Then everyone would feel better
after listening to me. - Renee Mathis

Skipping stones. -Chelsea Foster

I wish I was really good at tap dancing. -B.J. Taylor

Life. - Nick EUer

*Fugu is the Japanese word for blowfish, which is a del-
icacy even though it can be deadly to eat or to prepare if
done incorrectly.


Not sure what to do this
weekend? Here are a few
ideas to get you headed in the
right direction.

KING: The Photobiog-
raphy of Martin Luther
King, Jr.

Margaret Mitchel House &

Atlanta, GA

Open 'til 5 p.m. most days,
through Dec. 31.

$12 general admission


6th Annual Pumpkin

Stone Mountain Park, GA

Friday through Sunday,
Oct. 26

$25 general admission (dis-
count tickets at Kroger)


The Greencards per-
form at Barking Legs The-


8 p.m., Saturday, Oct. 25

S15.50 in advance, $18 at |


Autumn Acres Corn I
Maze and Pumpkin Patch

Crossville, TN

Open 'til 10 p.m. on Satur- 1
days and 1-6 p.m. on Sundi
through Nov. 2

$8 per person (cash and I
checks only)


Chattanooga Market

First Tennessee Pavil-|

Noon-5p.m,Sunday,Oct.2* |


Dixieland Dinner|


7 p.m., Sunday, Oct. 26
, $31, reservation required
chattanoogariverboat.com I

Vienna Boys Choir UT<|
Fine Arts Center

7:30 p.m., Monday, 0* 'I

Tickets start at $15





Zack Livingston

Sports Editor

[email protected]

Ninja Turtles vs Team Fresh: Overtime thriller

Zack Livingston

The Ninja Turtles were al-
most shell-shocked on Tues-
day night as they took on
Team Fresh -in an overtime
thriller. The well-respected
Turtles didn't expect the first-
year A league Team Fresh to
play with such intensity.

Turtles' quarterback, Mike
Castleberg started the Turtles
off with his precision passes
and created a drive that put
them up 7-0. Just when things
were looking familiar for the
Turtles, Team Fresh quarter-
back, Cesar Bernardino, ate
the pressure and created a
drive of his own. Unstoppable
wide receiver Sean Lemon
jumped, dodged and acceler-
ated his way into the end zone
after catching a long bomb
from Bernardino.

The Turtles tried to answer
back with a long throw of their

own, but Lemon proved why
he's deadly on both sides of the
ball as he intercepted the pass.
Lemon sprinted down the field
to catch another throw from
Bernardino to put Team Fresh
up 13-7 at the end of the first
half, •

Castleberg had to be re-
moved from the game after
expressing some frustration
on the field.

Without their Star quarter-
back, the Turtles gathered in
a huddle to regroup. Nelson
Pichardo, Turtle wide receiver, .
stepped up to take the quarter-
back position and made Team
Fresh rushers tired with his
ability to run and throw the
ball. With just a few seconds
left in the game, Pichardo
threw a Hail Mary that was
rejected by Fresh defense but
landed into the hands of Tur-
tle player, Grady Todd, for a
touchdown to tie the game.

'They are lucky that I wasn't
there to play" said Ehud Si-
card, a junior theology major.
"I would have been able to put
more pressure on the quarter-

In an awkward conclusion,
the Turtles scored in overtime
and caught an incomplete
pass from Team Fresh that
was kicked up in the air before
touching the ground. Pichardo
came up with the airborne ball
turning it into an interception,
which concluded the game.
Officials discussed the play to
decide if it was legal, but being
tight for time they decided -to
let it go.

"I learned my lesson last
night about saying things that
I shouldn't say on the field,"
Castleberg said. "It was a re-
ally close game and we'll have
a lot of respect for Team Fresh
if we have to play them in the

Another athletic gripe session

Zack Livingston

SeoKB FnnttP

Thank goodness the Flori-
da Rays beat the Boston Red
Sox Sunday night to claim
the American League Cham-
pionship. Southern's campus
couldn't bear another year of
rambunctious bragging on
Boston's behalf. Now that the
Brady-less bunch of Patriots
don't stand a chance for an-
i other Super Bowl, all we need
| is for Kevin Garnett to get in-
jured to place the Celtics back
kin mediocrity where they be-
long. Boston fans will haunt
[our campus no more . . . hur-
The battered and bruised
s Angeles Lakers are having
trouble deciding what to do
»ith their rookie center An-
Idrew Bynum this season. They
^must have forgotten what hap-
ened to them in game six last
I|ear of the NBA finals. Pau
Qasol couldn't find the stadi-
i, Lamar Odom left his game

in the locker room and Kobe
Bryant proved once again why
he will never be Michael Jor-
dan. The Lakers broke records
in last year's finals for losing
by over 30 points. Bynum and
the Lakers have until Oct. 31
to sign a five-year contract ex-
tension. Bynum's seven-foot,
20-year-old body, along with
three years of NBA experience,
clearly says that there is room
for improvement. So what's
the problem?

Southern students should
hurry to see a football game
now while the Tennessee Ti-
. tans are having the best season
of their Uves. ESPN said it's
been 31 years since the Titans
have had such success. They
have the best record in the
NFL leading the AFC South
with a 6-0 record. Chris John-
son and Lendale White com-
bined for 317 rushing yards
and four touchdowns Sunday
night to help them blow past
the Kansas City Chiefs, 34-10.
With this beginning, the Titans

might even make a Super Bowl
run. Hey, it could happen.

Tampa Bay Rays' Scott Kazmir
pitches against the Chicago White
Sox during the first inning of the
second American League division
series baseballgame in St. Peters-
burg, Fla. Friday, Oct. 3, 2008. (AP
photo/Pierre DuCharme, pool)

Intramurals Schedule

Men's A North Division

10/23 6 PM

Team Fresh/Business Time

Field 3

10/23 6 PM

Regulators/Last Minute

Field 1

10/27 6 PM

Regulators/Team Fresh

Field 1

W/27 6 PM

Business Time/The Plague

Field 3

10/27 8 PM

The Plague/Team Fresh

Field 3

10/28 6 PM .

The Plague/Last Minute

Field 3

10/29 8 PM

Ninja Turtles/Shake NT Bake

Field 1

10/29 9 PM

The Plague/Business Time

Field 3

Men's A South Division

10/23 7 PM

Smash Bros/Biete Me Again

Field 3

10/27 7 PM

Sell Outs/Bietz Me Again

Field 3

10/27 9 PM

yaMAHA Shuffle/Squirrel Tails

Field 3

10/28 7 PM

yaMAHA Shuffle/Smash Bros

Field 1

10/28 8 PM

Cohutta Wild/Squirrel Tails

Field 3

10/29 7 PM

Smash Bros/Showtime

Field 3

Men's B North Division

10/23 7 PM

Bus Drivers/DP

Field 1

10/23 7 PM

All The Way/Team Eller

Field 2

10/23 8 PM

5th Down/Bus Drivers

Field 3

10/23 9 PM

5th Down/The New Breed

Field 3

10/27 7 PM

Bus Drivers/Old School

Field 2

10/27 8 PM

Bus Drivers/5th Down

Field 1

10/27 9 PM


Field 1

10/28 7 PM

Old School/Team Eller

Field 3

10/28 9 PM


Field 1

10/29 6 PM

Bus Drivers/Team Eller

Field 3

10/29 9 PM

5th Down/GeFrenich

Field 1

Men's B South Division

10/23 8 PM


Field 1

10/23 9 PM

300/Los Toros

Field 1

10/27 7 PM

Band of Brothers/Los Toros

Field 1

10/28 6 PM


Field 1

10/28 9 PM


Field 3

10/29 6 PM


Field 1

10/29 7 PM

Aghhhh/Los Toros

Field 1

10/29 8 PM

McThunderstix/Band of Brothers Field 3

Women's A Division

10/28 6 PM

Spartans/Raging Penguins

Field 2

10/28 7 PM

October Rush/Lunachicks

Field 2

10/29 6 PM

Suga Rush/October Rush

Field 2

10/29 7 PM .

Spartans/Pageant Pistons

Field 2

Women's B Division

10/23 6 PM


Field 2

10/23 8 PM

Pink Ladies/Ultimatum

Field 2

10/23 9 PM

Ultimatum/Kung Fu Pandas

Field 2

10/27 6 PM

Oh Snaps/Mangostein

Field 2

10/27 8 PM

Pink Ladies/Blazn

Field 2

10/28 8 PM

Ultima tum/Mangostein

Field 2

10/28 8 PM

Blazn/Kung Fu Pandas

Field 1

10/29 8 PM

Black Diamonds/Blazn

Field 2

10/29 9 PM

Cinco de Poplar/Kung Fu Panda?

Field 2





Food Drive | NOW through
Nov. 21, Psi Chi will be host-
ing a food drive to benefit the
Samaritan Center. Six dona-
tion bins are located through-
out campus in Talge, Thatcher,
Thatcher South, the Village
Market, the Dining Hall and
Summerour. Donations will
benefit families in need
throughout the holiday sea-
son. What better way to help
use up those extra dollars on
your meal plan before the end
of the semester? Please be gra-
cious and donate a few NON-
PERISHABLE food items be-
tween now and Nov. 21 and
help make someone's holiday
season a little happier.

Messiah's Mansion [ A full

scale model of Moses' Sanc-
tuary is coming to Chatta-
nooga's Warner Park on Oct.
18 and will be here until Oct
26. Free tours will be given
from 2-7p.m., leaving every 15
minutes. Don't miss this excit-
ing educational and historical

Student Missions Empha-
sis I is this coming week, so
keep your eyes open for dif-
ferent opportunities to learn
about becoming a student
missionary. From bananas, to
buttons, to free rides down the
Promenade, you can't miss it!
The week culminates on Sab-
bath, Nov. 1, with the Missions
Expo from 2-5p.n1. in the Stu-
dent Center. Stop by and visit
the various booths from many
different countries, talk to for-
mer student missionaries, and
find out, God willing, where
YOU could be next year!

Prayer Groups | 7:15a.m.

M-F near the flag pole;
12:00p.m. MWF in the Stu-
dent Center seminar room;
5:00p.m. M-F at the fountain
between Hackman and the li-

1 Jproming pvpnts ralendar

Friday, October 24

6p- North River Evangelistic Series

8p - Vespers - Jadon Lavik (lies
P.E. Center)

Alumni Vespers - Bill Tucker (Col-
legedale Church)

After Vespers - Adoration (Lynn
Wood Chapel)

6:55p - Sunset

Sabbath, October 25

9a - Early Church Service - Ken
Rogers (Collegedale Church)

9:30-10:158 - Continental Breakfast
(Collegedale Church Fellowship Hall)

10a - French Sabbath School (Mill-
er #201)

10:15a - SaltWorks Sabbath School
(Seminar Room-upstairs)

9:75 Sabbath School (Collegedale
Church Fellowship Hall)

SMC Sabbath School (Gospel Cha-

Adoration - Ken Rogers (Colleg-
edale Church)

ll:30a - Connect - Jackie James
(Collegedale Academy)

11:45a - Renewal- Ken Rogers (Col-
legedale Church)

2-4p - Lori-Gene Gallery Show
(Brock Gallery)

2:15 - FLAG Camp (Wright Hall

4p - Sacred Concert - Todd and
Lisa Parrish (Collegedale Church)

6:30p - Evensong, Alumni Organ
Concert featuring organists Karla
Fowkes, Tim Hinck, Adrienne Olson,
David Williams; Reader Jan Haluska

8p - Gym-Masters Reunion Show
(lies P.E. Center)

9:30p - Southern Shuffle - 5K Run/
Walk (Duck Pond)

Sunday, October 26

9a - Benefactors Brunch (Dining

10a - Antique/Classic Car Show
(Wood Hall Parking Lot)

SIFE Fundraiser at Car Show

6p - Hulsey Wellness Center Stu-
dent Opening (Hulsey Wellness Center
-by lies P.E. Center)

6:30-gp - SA Fall Festival (Prom-

Monday, October 27

Student Missions Emphasis Week
4p - University Assembly
7:30p - Latin Duo: Calle Sur (Acker-
man Auditorium) Convocation Credit!

Tuesday, October 28

Student Missions Emphasis Week
Last day to order December gradua-
tion regalia online, www.shop.jostens.

7 & lop - Residence Hall Joint Wor-
ship (Thatcher)

Wednesday, October 29

Student Missions Emphasis Week
Wind Symphony Tour

Thursday, October 30

Student Missions Emphasis Week
Wind Symphony Tour
11a - Convocation: Missions, Jose
Rojas (Church)

December Graduates |

must order graduation rega-
lia and invitations at www.

shop.jostens.com by the Oct.
28 deadline. All graduation
seniors for December or May
are required to turn in a senior
contract to the Records & Ad-
visement Office.

Lonia Linda University
School of Pharmacy rep-
resentatives I will be on
campus Monday, Nov. 3. If you
would like to meet with one of
the representatives, contact
the Counseling & Testing Cen-
ter at 236-2782 for an appoint-
ment. They will also have an
information session in the eve-
ning from 5:30-7p.m. in the
Presidential Banquet Room.
Dessert will be provided.

"How to Avoid Marrying
a Jerk" | A free relationship
class for singles, will be offered
Saturday, Nov. 15, from 2:00
to 7:00 p.m. at the Collegedale
Church. Dinner provided. You
must pre-register at www.first-

things.org or 267-5383.

Organizational Showcase

is an opportunity for students
to meet with local non-profit
organizations to explore volun-
teer opportunities in the Chat-
tanooga area. Free supper will
be provided from your choice
of Machu Picchu or China
Rose from5:i5-6:45p.m. Serve
your purpose. Serve your com-

Fall Festival | is this Sun-
day evening from 6:30-9p.m.
on the Promenade in front of
the Student Center. Come eat
some food, have some fun,
play some games, and just en-
joy the fall season!

October 24

Amanda Lefurgy, Brent Snid-
er, Danielle Quailey, Mechele

Clough, Michael Prince, Na-
than Newlon, Rachel Howell,
Steven Karst

October 25

Charles Adamson, Clarice Es-
quilla, David Wills, Donnelly
Ang, Emily Young, Marissa
Roberts, Matthew Shallen-
berger, Roger Gomez, Shai

October 26

Alex Ferguson Richards, Al-
lison Mirande, Andrew Car-
penter, Dyan Urboda, Heather
Elmendorf, Jacque Cantrell,
Jason Neufeld, Jeffery Lam-
berton, Jeremy Wampler, Jes-
sie Zollinger, Sarah Milliner

October 27

Amy Armstrong, Chert Clay-
ton, Jose Duran, Kevin Brown,
Kristen O'Donnell, Michael
Eubanks, Sarah Malcolm,
Stephanie George, Timothy

October 28

Adrian Wasylyshen, Amanda
Kendall, Byron Schurch, Evan
Taylor, Greg Gillin, Jason
Greulich, Keith Turner, Me-
lissa Blake, Nick Buchholz

October 29

Aldo Espinoza, Art Richert,
Gayle Lastimosa. Ricky Oli-
veras, Robert Hutton

October 30

Cassie Unruh, Flor Osorio,
Janice Gallimore, Khrisna Vir-
gil, Kimberly Magers, Laura
Andrews, Leilani Santana,
Mark Walker




To add or remove classifieds email

[email protected]

Room for rent | Looking for
a female to live with 3 other
mile from Southern.
Private room, shared bath,
wireless Internet, cable, din-
ing room, kitchen, mud
living room, porch and big
backyard. $200/mo. Plus wa-
ter and utilities. Call Melanie
at 423-667-7564.

Marissa's Bakery | What do
you enjoy eating Friday eve-
ning for supper? Do you starve
on Sabbath mornings when
the cafe is closed? How about
some fresh banana bread?
Delicious blueberry muffins?
Savory Cinnamon Rolls? If so,
call 916-847-9495, or e-mail
[email protected]
edu with your order by 4 p.m.
every Thursday afternoon.



Southern Beets An Interactive SAU Co mic *4 - The Wizard of SAUZ


Adam Wamack

Humor Editor

[email protected]

by: Jason Neufeld (jasonngsoutherH.eJu)

fT he beets need names! Give your ideas and see)
I earlier comics «> www.southernbeets.com





Feeling refreshed after break.

After midterm midterms. You
know, the ones you have to
study for all through break.

M\ Oakwood University's choir at
\ !j Collegedale Church!

Delay of the opening of the new
Wellness Center... again...

Lawn Concert last weekend, all
of the performers did amazing.

A week without firedrills... even
though we weren't here for half
of it.

Submit your caption

Submit the funniest caption you can
think of for this photo to the humor
editor's e-mail ([email protected]
edu). The top three funniest captions
will be printed in next week's issue.

Last week's
Funniest captions:

Soldier: "(blushing) I only asked
for your autograph, sir."
-Michael Cafferky

"Man it feels good to be a gangsta!"
—David Anthony

"We won!" -Ruben Harris


of an SAU Dorm Student

Adam Wamack

Humph Fnima

I've been tired of haystacks
since the nineties, but they are
cheap so I love them!

Ramen in the evening has
become a way of life: differ-
ent flavors, different styles,
different methods of prepara-
tion, and all for 14$ a pack-

Who needs to exercise when
you have classes in both Hick-
man and Brock in the same

I once ate a regular lunch

from the cafe that cost $19571|
I kept the receipt for those 11
didn't believe me, but it alw)|
made me cry so I shredded 1 J

I complain that the libra
is so loud but also that I «|
study because I always |
people that I need to t

I once ate only bycooki
in the dorm for a whole ws»
and I saved over a thous

I told myself I was gei«1
be in bed by eleven thirty w]
pened once in the first wee j t



M Southern hosted Alumni
I Homecoming last weekend,
6yvith the theme titled "Fit for
MJterniry: Embracing a Life of

H The theme highlighted this
Bear's chosen affinity group,
She Gym-Masters, encouraged
Htness through the 5K South-
I ern Shuffle and promoted a
heal thy lifestyle with the grand
Bpening of the Husley Well-
ness Center.
, j The alumni council decided
ra incorporate the Wellness
Center's motto as the theme
of the weekend, said Evonne
Crook, director of alumni rela-

Southern's current Gym-
Masters along side their pre-
decessors, ranging from ages
17 to 63, put on an exhilarat-
ing Gym-Masters Gymnastics
Reunion Show on Saturday
night. The 60-70 Gym-Mas-
ter alumni who attended the
weekend had their own sepa-
rate weekend itinerary, in-
cluding a special gym-masters
reunion supper, show practice
and worship service to cele-
brate the club's 32nd year per-
forming together since 1976.
Among other honored



Photo By Katie Fret-land

Students walk down the promenade stopping at the different shops set up for the c

Students enjoy carnival-themed festival

Muneca Ramos
Staff Writfb

Instead of bonfires and hay-
rides, more than 100 students
walked along a city street with
shops, lights and music on
Sunday for this year's fall fes-
tival, The City on the Prom-

"I liked how it was on the
promenade, and how we had a

party where we normally have
class," said Ben Schnell a ju-
nior theology major.

BJ Taylor, the SA social vice
president, said he wanted this
year's fall festival to be untra-
di tionai and unique, compared
to previous years.

"I didn't know if I was go-
ing to go, but I did and I'm
glad," said Jashira Nieves, a
sophomore nursing major. "I

wish [SA] could do this more

The activities for the eve-
ning included live music and
a typhoon machine that blew
hundreds of tickets, giving par-
ticipants the chance to reach
in and grab as many tickets
as they could to get prizes in
the various city shops. Four

Hulsey Wellness Center celebrates grand opening

Tiffany Sands

Staff Wbfttb

The Hulsey Wellness Cen-
ter had its grand opening last
Sunday at Alumni weekend.

"I am excited that it is finally
opening, but sad for the peo-

ple that are graduating [and]
won't be able to experience
the full extent of the wellness
center," said Kristin Copeland,
a junior nursing major. "It
would have been a great stress
reliever [to them]."

The program began with a

prelude from the Silver Brass,
rendering popular American
patriotic songs.

"This place was construct-
ed for you," said President
Gordon Bietz, as he made his



SA clubs
to host

Erica Richards

Staff Whitfb

Southern students are feel-
ing the excitement build as the
election season comes to an
end Tuesday, and clubs and
organizations across campus
are holding election night par-
ties so students can watch it

"I feel very strongly that
students should be able to
watch and be a part of this,"
said Doug Baasch, Student As-
sociation president. "I hope a
lot of people watch. I think it's
really important."

SA, along with clubs like the
history club and even classes
like media and the presiden-
tial election are planning late
night parties to watch the re-

SA is hosting an election
party in the Student Center
with televisions tuned to cov-
erage from several news sta-
tions beginning around 8 p.m.
and lasting until curfew.

Another opportunity to
watch the polls will be in the
journalism department. This
semester, Professor Stephen
Ruf is teaching a class called
media and the presidential
election. Rufs class will be
holding an election party in
Brock Hall room 112 to watch







Campus Chatter




For a surefire way to
cure hiccups, see page


See if you can spot
then new colors on
page 12.




Week focuses on Student Missions

Ashley Cheney
Siaei Kbites

The goal of the Student
Missions office this year is to
have ten percent of Southern
students serving as missionar-
ies next year.

However, this does not
mean 260 students should
sign up just to fill a quota, said
Gayle Moore, student missions

"We want kids to feel
called," Moore said. "If there
isn't at least some element of
wanting to serve the Lord, be-
ing a student missionary is go-
ing to be hard."

As a way of bringing excite-
ment and awareness to the
Student Missions program,
the Student Missions club has
been on the promenade this
week, handing out bananas,
hot chocolate, donuts and of-
fering golf cart rides. Thurs-
day's convocation featured
Jose Rojas, director of the Of-
fice of Volunteer Ministries for
the North American Division,
who will also be speaking to-
night at 7:30 p.m. in Thatcher

"The purpose of [this week]
is to arrange opportunities
for students to interact with
former student missionaries,"
said Nate Dubs, president of
the student missions club and
a junior theology major. "Their
experiences are a powerful tes-
timony to the benefits of serv-
ing as a missionary."

SM Emphasis Week will
conclude on Sabbath Nov. 1
with a Missions Expo from 2

Online LibraryEmma Florence CunliffeSouthern accent, Sept. 2008-Apr. 2009 (Volume v.64) → online text (page 15 of 63)