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have from thence.

Hie Dutch may be compared to their own turf, which
kindles and bums slowly, but which when once inflamed,
retains its fire to the last.

Never build after you are Bve and forty : have ^ve
years' income in hand before you lay a brick ; and always
calculate the expense at double the estimate.

ITie following are the distances and relative bearings
of London from the piincipal cities of Europe : from
Edinburgh, 395 miles, SouUi ; from Dublin, 338 miles,
S.E. ; from Paris, 225 miles, N.N.W. ; from Amster-
dam, 190 miles, W.; from Copenhagen, 610 miles,
N.W.; from Stockholm, 750 miles, S.W.; from St.
Petersburgh, 1 140 miles, S.W. ; from Berlin, 640 miles,
W. ; from Vienna, 820 miles, N.W. ; from Constanti-
nople, 1660, N.W. ; from Rome, 950 miles, N.N.W. ;
from Madrid, 860 miles, N.N.E. ; from Lisbon, 850
miles, N.N.E.

Resh, which in Hebrew, denotes poverty, in Arabic
means wealth : so differ the ideas of these two things in
different minds.



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269

Fielding has rightly said^ that wisdom is the talent of
buying virtuous pleasures at the cheapest rate.

Nothing is better adapted to give the last polish to the
education of a young man, than the conversation of vir-
tuous and accomplished women. Their society seiTes to
smooth the rough edges of our character, and to mellow
our tempers. In short, the man who has never been ac-
quainted with females of cultivated mind, is not only de-
prived of many of the purest pleasures, but ako will have
little success in social life ; and we should not like to be
connected by the bonds of friendship with a man that
has a bad opinion, and speaks ill of the female sex in
general.

A good temper, a good fortune, a good wife, and a
good friend, ai*e four of the choicest blessings of human
life.

A celebrated French author says : " He that will
write with precision, energy, and vigour, may live only
with men : but he who wishes for suppleness in his style,
for amenity, for invitation, for that something which we
call charm, will, I believe, do veiy right to live occa-
sionally with women. When I read that Pericles sacri-
ficed every morning to the Graces, I presume tiiat
Pericles breakfasted every day with Aspasia."

It has been justly obseiTed of England, that she has
two things superior to all other nations under the sun, —
the Ladies and the Laws.

Of all the actions of a man's life, his mamage doe»
least concern other people ; yet, of all actions of our life,,
it is the most meddled with by other people.



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Dr. John Langborne^ being one day in company with
a very beautiful young lady, fixed his eyes upon her till
her sensibility took the alarm, her blushes glowed, and
she exhibited evident marks of confusion. The Doctor
observing the mischief that he had occasioned, felt that
he had been too particular, and therefore, by way of apo-
logy, said, '* I ask your pardon, young lady, for the ear-
nestness with which I have regarded your lovely features;
but, indeed, my thoughts were not those of an admirer —
on the conti-ary, I was contemplating what havoc Death
must one day make in that beautiful countenance." —
Though by this observation the young lady was thrown
into greater confusion than before, she had the spirit to
reply — "I am sorry. Sir, that your thoughts have taken
so grave a turn with respect to my countenance ; at the
same time, I congratulate you, that it is impossible for
even Death itself to make much alteration in yom'*s."

The most disagreeable two-legged animal, is a little
great man ; and the next, a little great man's factotum.

Swift, alluding in a letter to the frequent instances of a
broken correspondence after a long absence, gives the
following natural account of the causes : — " At first one
remits writing for a little, and then one stays a little
longer to consider of excuses, and at last it grows despe-
rate, and one does not write at all. At this rate (he adds)
I have served others, and have been served myself."

To show the dangers of inebriety, the Catholic legends
tell us of some hermit, to whom the devil gave his choice
of three crimes ; two of them of the most atrocious kind,
and the other to be drunk. The poor saint chose the last,
as the least of the three ; but when drunk, committed the
other two.



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271

In reference to the theatrical entertainments which
were with such delicacy intermitted^ on the day of Gar-
rick s decease, a writer at that period informs us, that a
still more singular piece of respect was shewn to the me-
mory of Wolfe, hecause it was not shewn by people of
elegant understandings. The mob of the village in which
the mother of Wolfe resided, would not suffer a bell to
be rung, nor a bonfire to be lighted, nor the smallest
symptom of rejoicing for the capture of Quebec, lest they
should interrupt the son-ows of the great man's mother,
who marked its capture by his fall.

Bonhoui-s, the most penetrating of the French writers,
has taken pains to show, that no thought can be beauti-
ful that is not just, and has not its foundation in the na-
ture of things ; that the basis of all wit is truth ; and that
no thought can be valuable, of which good sense is not
the ground-work.

How to please your friends : Go to India — stay there
twenty years — work hai'd — get money — save it — come
home — bring with you a store of wealth, and a diseased
liver — visit your friends — make a will — provide for them
all — then die. What a prudent, good, generous, kind-
hearted soul you will be !

A young heiress of considerable personal attractions,
chanced to be seated, at a dinner party, next to a gentle-
man remarkable for the biilliancy of his wit, who had
long made one in the train of her admirers. The con-
versation turning on the uncertainty of life, " I mean to
insure mine," said the young lady ai'chly, " in the Hope"
— " In the hope of what P** said her admirer ; a single
life is hardly worth insuring ; I propose that we should
insure our lives together, and if you have no objection, I
should prefer the Alliance.*'



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Genius seems to differ in its development, according to
the soil that gives it birth : this made Kant, the celebra-
ted philosopher, once say : — *' Genius, with us Germans,
strikes in the root, with the Italians in the branches, with
the French in the blossom, and with the English in the
fruit

Parliament in 1652, by order, enjoined " That no ob-
servation shall be had of the five and twentieth day of
December, commonly called Christmas-day, nor any so-
lemnity used or exercised in churches in respect thereof."
We live now in more liberal times.

A lady of the Fortescue family, who possessed great
personal charms, was once walking along a narrow lane,
when she perceived, just behind her, a hawker of earthen-
ware driving an ass with two panniers laden with his stock
in trade. To give the animal and his master room to
pass, the lady suddenly started aside, which so frightened
the poor animal that he ran away, but had not proceeded
far, when he unfortunately fell, and a great part of the
crockery was broken to pieces. The lady, in her turn,
became alarmed, lest, when she came up to the man, he
should load her with abuse, if not oflfer to insult her; but
to her surprise, when she arrived at the spot, the man,
with great good humour, gallantry, and wit, exclaimed,
''' Never mind, madam, Balaam s ass was frightened by
an angel."

The Mayor of Huntingdon, being in company with
the late Lord Sandwich, at the finish of the evening, his
lordship, taking up his glass, said, '' Here s hon repos!*
The next day, after dinner, at his own house, the Mayor
being caUed npon for a toast, said, he would give them
one which had been given by no less a man than Lord
Sandwich — " So, here's hon repos, my boys."



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273

Abruptness is an eloquence in partings when spinning
out of time is but the weaving of new sorrow.

Eveiy man who has an eye in his head, and can see
withal, must at this time of day perceive, that in the great
world there are just two classes, the humbugging and the
humbugged. Hence, humhiig is a word of most extensive
import ; it means anything and everything. Like a mul-
tifaced idol, one of its ugly visages meets your glance
whichever way you turn. All men understand what it
means, yet no man can compress its meaning within the
narrow limits of a definition. It is a subject of general
study and constant practice ; yet it is most strenuously
disavowed by those who are most learned in its mysteries,
and most expert in tuiiiing them to account. It is a
counterfeit in full currency and high credit, passing from
hand to hand, unchallenged even by those who are best
assured that its essence consists in forgery. Though it
can only be described by negatives, and is itself a nega-
tion, it is the most positive thing in the world with re-
spect to its effects.

A litde knowledge makes us vain, and a great deal,
humble.

It is very remarkable, that the three satirists who have
written against the lovelier part of the creation with the
most acrimonious hostility, were three old bachelors — at
least we have never heard that Juvenal had a wife, — and
of Boileau and Pope, we not only know that they were
never married, but in all probability never flattered by the
endearments of any amiable woman.

It is a Spanish maxim, that he who loseth wealth,
loseth much ; he who loseth a friend, loseth more ; but he
who loseth his spirits, loseth aU.

T



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274

A servant girl entered the shop of a silk-mercer, in a
fashionable part of the town, and asked for some pink
ribband. The obliging mercer, who does not himself dis-
like a joke, determined to banter the poor damsel, and
placing some purple ribband on the counter, facetiously
asked her whether she could not *' fancy it was pink ?" —
" Oh, yes,** replied the arch abigail, " certainly. Sir : —
please to cut me off twelve yards of it/* — ^The bowing
shopkeeper, obsequiously 'obeying her high behest,' mea-
sured the required quantity, and with his most graceful
bow, presented it to his customer, who, after thanking
him for his civility, thus played off an admirable retort :
"To oblige you. Sir, I fancied this purple ribband was
pink — to oblige me, pray fancy yourself paid;" — and,
bowing, trippingly left the shop.

The not answering letters to any one is never justifi-
able. To a superior, such a neglect is madness,— to an
equal, an unpardonable impoliteness; — but to an inferior,
the height of ignoble insolence.

The comfort of virtuous parents is to have children that
resemble them.

One man marries a woman because she looks well when
she dances ; she never dtmces afterwards : another man
marries because the lady has a handsome foot and ankle,
which, when married he never takes the trouble to ad-
mire : a third marries for love, which wanes with the
honey-moon : a fourth marries for money, and finds that
his wife does not choose to die, to complete his satisfac-
tion : and a fifth, being old in wisdom as in years, mar-
ries a young woman, who soon becomes a suitable match
for him, by growing old with grief. — Thousands do
wrong, because others have done the same before them,
upon the grand piinciple, that many blacks make a white.



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275

There is a charm about a favourite spot that has been
printed by the footsteps of departed beauty, and conse-
crated by the inspirations of the poet, which is height-
ened rather than impaired by the lapse of years. It is in-
deed the gift of poetry to hallow every place in which it
moves ; to breathe round nature an odour more exquisite
than the perfume of the rose ; and to shed over it a tint
more magical than the blush of morning.

Health is the soul that animates all the pleasures of
life ; and without it a man starves at the best of tables —
is poor and wretched in the midst of the greatest treasures.
Without health, youth loses all its vigour, beauty all its
charms. Music is grating to the ears ; conversation dis-
agreeable. Palaces ai'e prisons, riches useless, honours
and attendants cumbersome, and crowns themselves ai'e
a burthen.

A hermit was once asked in Italy, how he could ven-
ture to live alone, in a single cottage, on the top of a
mountain, a mile from any habitation ? He replied, that
'* Providence was his very next door neighbour."

There were three things which Dr. Farmer, the cele-
brated commentator on Shakspeare, loved above all
others, viz. good old port ! old clothes ! and old books I
and three things which nobody could persuade him to
perform, viz. to rise in the morning ! to go to bed at
night! and U) settle an account I

Heraclitus was the person who first introduced the
burning the dead, upon this philosophy, that fire was the
predominant principle of all things ; and, that by such
dissolution, the ethereal flame, or soul of man, was better
and sooner purified and disunited from the grossness of
matter.

t2



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276

" Living always in the world/* says Horace WaJpole,
" makes one as unfit for living out of it, as always living
out of it does for living in it."

The English constitution of state is composed out of
all the ancient politics — Monarchy, aristocracy, demo-
cracy, and oligarchy ; the king, nohles, commons, and
privy council. These several hodies temper and correct
each other, like the four ingredients of punch, where, ac-
coi-ding to the good old catch, " The sharp melts the
sweet, and the mild soothes the sti'ong." The first is the
sugar, the second the water, the thiitl the spirit, and the
fourth the acid.

Two Cardinals found fault with Raphael, for having,
in one of his pictures, given too florid a complexion to
St. Peter and St. Paul. "Gentlemen,'* replied the artist,
ill pleased with the criticism, "don't he surprised; I paint
them just as they look in Heaven. They are hlushing
with shame to see the church helow so hadly governed.**

As the two sexes in ancient Greece had hut little com-
munication with each other, and a lover was seldom
therefore favoured with an opportunity of making known
his passion to his mistress, he used to discover it by in-
scribing her name on the waDs of his house, on the barks
of the trees, in public walks, or in the leaves of books.
It was customary also for him to deck the doors of the
house where his fair one lived, with flowers and garlands;
to make libations of wine before it, and to sprinkle the
entrance with the same liquor. Garlands were of great
use among the Greeks in the aflairs of love. When a
man untied his garland, it was a declaration of his having
been subdued by diat passion ; and where a woman com-
posed a garland, it was a tacit confession of the same
thing.



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277

,In the world, you are subject to every fool's humour ;
in a library, you can make every wit subject to your s.

Dr. Monsey, by way of ridiculing family pride, used to
confess that the first of his ancestors of any note, was a
baker, and dealer in hops, of whom he told the following
anecdote: — ^To raise a present sum he had robbed his
feather-beds of their contents, and supplied the deficiency
with unsaleable hops. In a few years, a severe blight
universally prevailing, hops became very scarce, and
enoimously dear; the hoarded treasure was upon this
immediately ripped out, and a good sum procured for
hops, which, in a plentiful season, would not have been
saleable: "and thus," the doctor used to add, "our family
hopped from obscurity."

A Roman being about to repudiate his wife, among a
variety of other questions, from her enraged kinsmen, was
asked, "Is not your wife a sensible woman ? Is she not
a handsome woman ? Has she not borne you fine
children ?" In answer to all which questions, slipping
off his shoe, he held it up, and thus interrogated them in
his turn, — " Is not diis shoe," said he, " a very handsome
one ? Is it not quite new ? Is it not exti*emely well made ?
How, then, is it, that none of you can tell me where it
pinches ?"

Pope Julian II. said, "Literature was silver in plebeians,
gold in nobles, and diamonds in princes."

There are men gifted with certain qualities who are
every where received with pleasure, and even sought after
with avidity. This is a science, sui generis; it is neither
learnt by books, nor in the schools, but in the theatre of
good taste, and above all, in the amphitheatre called Dis-
cretion.



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278

The effect of absence of mind^ is well exemplified in
an incident which happened some time since to a well-
known gentleman of Magdalen College, Cambridge. He
had taken his watch from his pocket, to mark the time
he intended to boil an egg for his breakfast, when a friend
entering his room, fomid him absorbed in some abstruse
calculation, with the egg in his hand, upon which he was
looking intently, and the watch supplying its place in the
saucepan of boiling water !

Aristotle says that three things are necessary for a man
to possess, whatever may be his profession, if he intends
to be eminent, — viz. nature, study, and exercise.

Unsolicited advice is too often received as an intentional
affront.

Our sight is perhaps the most perfect, and most de-
lightful of all our senses. It fills the mind with the
largest variety of ideas, converses with its objects at the
greatest distance, and continues the longest in action
without being tired, or satiated with its proper enjoyment.

The late Mr. Thicknessc being in great want of money,
applied to his son (Lord Audley) for assistance, but being
denied, he immediately hired a cobbler's stall in the same
street, directly opposite to his lordship's house, and had a
board put up with these words on it: "Boots and Shoes
made and mended by Philip Thicknesse, father of Lord
Audley." This answered the purpose: he was imme-
diately supplied with every thing he wanted, on condition
of leaving the stall.

Montesquieu says, "We in general place idleness
amongst the beatitudes of heaven ; it should rather, I
think, be put amidst the torments of hell."



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279

. A young girl from the country paid a visit to a quaKer
friend in town, who prevailed on her to accompany him
to Meeting. It happened to be a silent one, none of the
brethren being moved by the spirit to utter a syllable.
When she left the place, she was asked by her friend,
how she liked the Meeting ? — to which she pettishly
replied, " Like it ! why I can see no sense in it ; to
go and sit for whole hours together, without speaking
a word, — it is enough to kill the devil T — "Yea, my
dear," rejoined the quaker, " that is just what we want."

Alphonso, King of Arragon, once said, there were
only four things worth living for: old wine to drink,
old wood to bm-n, old books to read, and old friends to
converse with.

Addison observes, " That the palest features look the
most agreeable in white; that a face which is over-ilushed
appears to advantage in the deepest scarlet ; and that a
dark complexion is not a little alleviated by a hlack
hood."

Plato allowed mirth and wine to old men, but forbade
them both to young ones. To be merry and wise might
have been a proverb deduced from this law. But Plato s
reason was truly philosophic : — while our natural spirits
and cheerfulness remain, we should never use incitements.
To spur a free horse, soon makes a jade of him.

Some people, even in very high circles, it is said, have
an objection to thirteen at dinner. Dr. Kitchiner hap-
pened to be one of a company of that number at Dr.
Henderson's, and on its being remarked, and pronounced
unlucky, he said, " I admit it is unlucky in one case.'*
— " What case is that. Doctor ?" — " When there is only
dinner for twelve."



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280

Cartouche, the famous French robher (who flourished
in 1789) being told a young man was desirous of be-
coming a member of his band, took him under examina-
tion, and asking him where he had served, wasunswered,
" Two years with an attorney, and six months under an
in^)ector of poKce, at Paris." — ** Then,** said Cartouche,
wiUi transport, " I shall consider it the same thing as if
you had rode all that time in my troop ;*' and the young
man took rank accordingly.

Patience is the chiefest fruit of study ; a man that
strives to make himself a different thing from other men
by much reading, gains this chief good, that in all for-
tunes he hath something to entertain and comfort him-
self withal.

The " Spectator,** in the fictitious character of him-
self, accounts for his writing, by telling ns that he seldom
talked. Rochefoucault is known to have also wanted the
talent of delivering his ideas in company.

According to the laws of his Holiness the Pope, a car-
dinal can pray a soul out of purgatory in one hour ; a
bishop, in three; a priest, in ^ve-, and a monk, in seven.

Lord Bolingbi-oke used to say, that the greatest com-
pliment which could be paid to any English gentleman
returned from his travels, was to say of him, " that no-
body who saw him could think he had ever been abroad,
but that eveiy body who talked with him would think he
was a native of the countries he had visited.** It must be
admitted there is good sense, though a little exaggerated,
in the observation.

There are but two ways of rising in the world ; by
your own industry, or by the weakness of others.



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281

The introduction of the " dagger" as a part of the City
Arms, instead of the " plain cross" which was previously
used^ and the title of Lord, prefixed to Mayor of London,
were first confen-ed hy Richard II. in consequence of Sir
William Walworth's killing Wat Tyler in Smithfield.

CuiTan said of Madame de Stael, whose face was hy
no means prepossessing, that she had the power of
" talking herself into heauty."

If you would he known, and not know, vegetate in a
village ; if you would know and not he known, live in a
city.

'' Have you dined ?" said a lounger to his friend. " I
have, upon my honour," replied he. " Then," rejoined
the first, *' if you have dined upon your honour, I fear
you have made a scanty meal."

Dr. Hinchliife, who died Bishop of Peterborough, had
much ready wit, and was extremely apt at checking those
who were fond of cavilling at the meaning of different
texts of Scripture. On being asked, one day, what was
to be understood by the expression, " He clothed himself
with curses as with a raiment ?" — " The clearest thing in
the world," replied the doctor, " the man had a habit of
swearing."

A gentleman, who determined to paper a room in the
most costly manner in the kingdom, boasted that the
paper alone had cost £394,440, which he made out by
showing, that he had employed an agent to purchase for
him, at one penny each, throughout the country, all the
tickets that were drawn blanks in the previous lotteiy.
Reckoning, therefore, 39,444 blanks at the original price
of £10 each, he made out the above sum.



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Notwithstanding the general title given to '' The Psalms
of David/' he was hy no means the author of the whole
hundred and fifty. By the Hehrews^ the Book of Psalms
is called ** sfr thlin/' (liher laudum) ; and the learned are
of opinion^ that David composed only about a third of
the number. The rest ai*e ascribed to Moses^ and other
sacred authors — fifty-one of the Psalms being anony-
mous. King Ezekias passes for the first collector of the
Psalms. After the Babylonian captivity, they were again
collected by Nehemiah.

Fallopius's opinion of mineral waters drunk on the
spot was, they were empirical remedies, and made more
children than they cured diseases.

It is said of Voltaire, that he kept a curious book, into
which he pasted the seals of his correspondents, and the
address of the writers, written in his own hand, under-
neath. It seems that it was his practice, when he re-
ceived a letter, to examine and veiify the seal, by refer-
ring to his book ; and if it came from a quarter he did
not like, he refolded it in an envelope, and returned it
unopened to the writer.

A French gentleman, dining in London with Dr.
Johnson, and wishing to show him a peculiar mark of
respect, as the author of the " Rambler," drank to him in
whathe thought synonimous terms, saying, " Your health,
Mr. Vagabond,"

Sir Philip Sidney's Curse upon a despiser of poetry :
" May he live to fall deeply in love, and lose his mistress


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