gent R. C..

The times' whistle: or, A new daunce of seven satires, and other poems: online

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Online Librarygent R. C.The times' whistle: or, A new daunce of seven satires, and other poems: → online text (page 7 of 17)
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"What in these days may not a man com???and.
That seekes to purchase w/th a golden hand ?

Fortunate Fatuo was late dubd a knight,
Not for his wit, or for his martiall fight ; 1312

For wit ne're blest him, valowr never knewe him ;
"What may the cause be then that only drew him
To this preferment 1 Faith, his store of wealth.
For hono?/rs now ar[e] purchased hj stealth 131G

Of vndermining bribes. Canst thou disburse
Good store of coine from a well lined purse 1
Thou shalt not Avant authority to grace thee,
And in an office of repute to place thee, 1320

Be thy life ne're so vilde. evill times,
And ill conditioned men, that act such crimes,
W/n'ch gi-eat meanes then good meaning better deeme.
And more of goods then goodnesse doe estceme ! 1324




r>ut bootelesse I excluiine on tliis same age,

'I' his vnrelenting ago, wliose furious rage

^\'ilI not be mollitied as it hath been,

I lilt is now hardned in vngodly sinne. 1328

\'ft, though the Avorkl nothing the better grow,

1 'le rip vp all the villanies I know.

Flavia, because her meanes are sonicAvhat scant,
Poth sell her body to relieve her want, 1332

Yet scornes to be reputed as a quean.
Though. With moste nations she have been vnclean.
English, Scots, Dutch, French, Spannish, yea, black

If they bring store of gold, her open dores 1336

Conveigh to private lust ; bee 't day or night,
Golde vshers them to sensuall delight.
Thus often fighting vnder Cupids banner
Perhaps she 's sometimes taken in the manner, 1340
And being brought before authority,
Which should correct her hell-bread villany,
If golde speake for her in the present tense.
The officer deputed for th' offence 1344

"Will Avinck at smale faultes & remit correction.
This foolisli, knavish pittie 's an infection
Spread tlirough o»r land, & hurtes out com?non wealth —
lustice restore her to her former health ! 1348

For true 's the saying (magistrates, heware !)
"He harmes the good that doth the evill spare."

Midas is patron to a goodly living,
And Stolido, that dunce, hath now been driving 1352
A price for it. What, benefices solde 1
This was not wont to be in times of olde,
But Simonie is now soe com?non growne,
That 'tis account noe sinne, if kept vnknowne. 1356
Or 2 otherwise, lawes danger to prevent.
The patron w/th the parson will indent

' MS. worn away. ^ MS. 0'.

Though the
world may be
none the ijetter,
I'll expose all its

Flavia, scorning
to be called a
quean, sells her
body to all

no matter of what
nation they may

If she's brought
before the
magistrate the
prosecutor can be

Benefices are
bought and sold :

[leaf 17, back]
Simony is so
common that
men don't care
to hide it.



[sat. 4.

It is very wrong
to deceive tlie
Cliurch and
dissemble with

Men who do so
should remember
tlie fate of

The man who
is ignorant of the
1.1W is made a
Justice of the

and expects to he
sheriff and M. P.
He'll bribe the
lot to gain his

That he shall have the living in this wise,

Suffering him yearly to reserve his tithes ; 13G0

When the whole parish knowes the better part

Of all the living, those his tithes iniparte.

Thou wicked imp, thus to abuse the C[h]urch,

And w^th such sacrilegious handes to lurch 1364

Gods sacred duties, which he doth afford

To the dispensers of his holy word !

How dar'st thou w/th all-seeing love dissemble 1

Me thinkes thou shouldst w/th great amazment tremble

At that most fearfull yet just pun»ishment 1369

Powrd downe one Ananias, whose intent,

Like thine, was in most damnd hypocrisie

To mocke God wzth a shew of charity. 1372

But for this sinne he & his cursed wife

Suddenly fell downe dead & lost his life.

Take heed the like plague fall not on thy head,

If thou persist, high love can strike thee dead; 1376

Though he awhile forbear to shew his ire,

His mercy keeps back what thy sinnes require.

Signior Necessity, that hath no law.
Scarce ever read his Litleton,i a daw 1380

To a soUiciter, is now become
Justice of peace & coram ; takes his roome
'Mongst grave & learned ludges ; is still cald
Eight worshipfull, his wit & jiate both bald. 1384

And yet the foole expects th' ensuing year
To be elect high sherif of all the sheire.
I, & he hath great hopes, for the Avhole tribe
Of voices that elect the sherif hee '1 bribe ; 1 388

And after that he hopes to get consent
By this meanes to be knight o' th' parliament.
Base minded peasants, which, for some few pence
Give to [a] foole such place of eminence ! 1392

Ignoble Crassus did in litle time

' Littleton died in 1481.

SAT. 1.]



Vnto the top of liono«rs niountaine clime ;

If you askc liow he rose, let this suffice,

His wealth was great, & therfore needs must rise. 1396

Euffino, that same roring hoy of fame,
By hraules & wenches is diseasde & lame ;
Yet hath some store of crowaies left in his purse,
'WJiich he With all his heart would fain disburse, 1400
And those that healpt him benefacto2(?-s call,
To get a place in the new hospitall.
Fear not Euffino, for it is decreed
Those that have meanes to give shall only speed. 1404

Loth am I to rip vp my nurces shame,
Or to accuse for tlus those schooles of fame.
The Academies : yet for reformation
Of this abuse, I must reprove the fashion
Of divers seniors, Av/i/ch for private gaine
Permit some ignorant asse, some dunce, attaine
A schollers or a fellowes place among 'em.
Some think perhaps of malice I doe wrong 'em,
But the poore students know it to be true,
'Wit ich wanting meanes, as often want their due.
Art was not thus rejected heertofore.
But plenty now hath made a schoUer poore.
Learning was wont to be the higliest staire,
Ypon whose top was fixd preferments chaire ;
In Av/t/ch the best deserver was instald.
The worthiest man to highest hono2?r cald.
But now the world 's altred, changed is the mukle.
And learnings step is turnd to massie golde.
To get preferment who doth now intend,
He by a golden ladder must ascend.
Thus cursed golde doth bear soe great a sway
That nurseries of learning doe decay ;
For not the meanes of taking o?;r degrees
Are quite exempt from bribes ; for duble fees
A dunce may turne a Docto?n-, & in state





Men whose wealth
is great uiust

Even aJniission
to the hospital is
to be gained by

[leaf IS]

The Universities
are not free from

A dunce may
buy a fellowship.

Learning used to
be the ladder to

hut now the
ladder is made of



For double fees a
dunce may be a
doctor and walk
in scarlet.



[sat. 4.

If a cook wants to
dress meat in

and can bribe the

lie is sure to
escape all trouble.

A ruffian com-
mitted a murder
and was appre-
hended for it.
[leaf 18, back]

The Judge was
bribed, and
instead of

acquitted him
because ' 40
anu'cls' attested
his innocence.

Walke in liis scarlet ! 0, vnliappy fate !

When paltry pelfe dotli worthlesse ignorance

Ynto the top of learnings mount advaunce. 1432

Coons, that faine Avould thrive, hath a[n] intent,
To curry favour, to dresse meat in Lent —
How is 't to be obtainde ? hast store of golde 1
And canst thou spare a litle] then be bolde, 1436

Persue thy project, & I 'le vndertake
The overseers will a licence make.
By w7«'ch is granted leav to dresse for th' sicke, —
Vnder the coloiiv of w7r/ch pretty tricke 1440

Thou mayst make sale of it to whom thou list.
Sayth master niony-taker, greasd i' tli' fist,
" And if tho[u] comst in danger, for a noble
I 'le stand thy friend, & healp thee out of trouble." 1444
But these are petty crimes wA/ch now I cote.
This vicious age acts sinnes of greater note,
And them by greater persons, in w7//ch sence
Th' offenders greatnesse aggravates th' offence. 1448

Taurus, that ruffen, in his drunken fit
An execrable murder did com??ntte,
For the w7(?'ch fact he straight was apprehended,
And should, had right tooke place, have been con-
demned. 1452
But marke th' event ; his mony stood liis friend,
And sav'd the caitife from a shamefull end.
For having the chief iudge sollicited
W/th bribes, from iustice him he quite misled ; 1456
"Who when he should pronounce' his condemnation,
Instead therof gave him his approbation.
Vowing there was good reason him to clear,
'Cause 40 angels did to him appear, 14G0
"\V7//c]i spake him guiltlesse. 0,- rare vision.
And admirable grdden apparition,

' MS. of pronounrr, with li, and a partially-formed a
crossed out, between the two wordrf. ^ 318. 6.

SAT. l.]



That liad tlio power to make good sucli evill,

Aiid turno a demigod into a devill ! 14G4

Turuiis his enemy -would faine suppLant,
Yet how to doc it iustly, cause doth want.
His Machiavillian^ pate doth then devise
To overthrow him by meer forgeries ; 14G8

Then saith. he is a traiter to his^ prince,
And that he can of treason him convince.
Divers seditious wordes are then invented,
For vfJiich he is before the iudge convented ; 1472

But there wants witnesse to confirme this lie, —
Tut, they are easily found ; his neighboza-s by
Are knights o' th' post,^ and for a litle coine
Will swear what ever he doth them enjo[i]ne. 1476
Thus armde, he brings to passe his damned will,
And like a villian guiltlesse blood doth spill.
But he & 's knights o' th' post will post to hell.
That thus their soules vnto damnation sell. 1480

Codrus to his poore cottage had some land,
With, w/i/ch, & w/tli the labozir of his hand,
Six litle children & his sickly wife
He did maintaine in such estate of life 1484

As his best meanes could yeild, sufficient
Because they therw/thall did live content.
But now Antilegon, his neighboz^r by,
Because the ground did lye com??zodiously 1488

For his owne vse to make a garden plot.
Hath encroacht all & sure possession got,
"VV7i/ch he maintaines by force. Poor Codrus is
Constraind to sue suh forma pauperis, 1492

(As Avanting friends & mony) to regaine
"What is his owne. T' other doth entertains
The best of counsell, & his golde 'gainst lawes
O're throwes the poor man in his rightfull cause ; 149G

' Machiavelli died 1527. ^ io his repeated in MS.

^ Professional perjurers, &c.
time's w. 4

If a man wants
to supplant his

he accuses him
of treason and
bribes bis

to give witness
against him.

The poor man
with six children
and a sickly
wife owns a
cottage and a bit
of land ;

but his rich
wants it for a

With the best of
counsel and gold
he gains his end,


and the poor man Wlio w/tli lus family are quite vnclone,

is undone. ^, ■,-,.■ n ^ i

Tlirougli this vnjust & damnd oppression,
[leaf 19] Thus lustice eyes closde vp in golden sleep,

The ravenous AYOolfe eats vp the harmlesse sheep. 1500
Thou wicked Ahab, vfhich. hast got possession
By such iniurious transgression,
If God punishes Think that if God inflict damnation
no°compa°ss'ior On them that doe not take compassion 1504

upon the poor, q^ ^j^^^. ^^^^^^ brethercn, & their wants reHeve,
"What will he doe to thee, w/a'ch seekst to grieve
"With an oppresso?

1 2 3 4 5 7 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

Online Librarygent R. C.The times' whistle: or, A new daunce of seven satires, and other poems: → online text (page 7 of 17)