never thought so meanly of Ibrahim before ; moreover, he recollected that about the
time of the aerial voyage, he had felt uncommonly ill. Doubtless this was the effect of the
He could listen no longer, and conversation began to flag awfully. Ibrahim,
disgusted at the small allowance of attention he received, soon took his leave, and Ali
was left alone. All the comfort that oblivion had of late bestowed was gone. The
bubble was resuscitated in his mind, and haunted him like a frightful spectre. To bed
he could not go. What should he do to relieve his bosom from its dreadful oppression ?
At last he resolved that he would call on the wise man Mahmoud, who lived in the
vicinity, and had great skill in herbs and minerals.
The night was far advanced, and the moon shone brightly, but the sage had not
retired to rest ; the light of the lamp still glimmered from the window. Ali knocked
at the door, entered, and stated his case to Mahmoud, hoping that some ingenious
device might be contrived to ensnare the peregrinating bubble, and that some precious
essence might be applied to it that would prevent it from bursting. The sage heard his
story and his wish ; but, instead of replying, stepped to the back of his apartment, and
drawing aside a curtain, pointed to a mirror.
Ali looked into the mirror, and saw countless bubbles darting about in every
direction. Some were coloured and variegated as his own bubble was when it ascended
into the air : some were colourless, as his own had been at the beginning. Some
seemed to start into existence whence, it was impossible to tell ; others burst and
vanished ;- some, as it were, of then* own accord, others because they had come into
collision. These latter, Ali observed, generally became of a blood-red hue before they
disappeared. After he had for some time gratified his eyes with the curious spectacle,
he asked Mahmoud what it signified.
"The bubbles that you see," replied Mahmoud, " represent the lives of all the
faithful. Some you see as they are born, some in full activity, some perishing. You
have come to me complaining that your life depends on the existence of a bubble, and I
CUTTING DOWN AN ARTICLE.
show you that this is no peculiar calamity on your part, but' that all your neighbours
are in the same predicament. There is to be sure this difference, that they are
unconscious of the fact, which some mysterious power, for good or evil, has revealed to
you. Fear not, AH ; always be prepared for the bursting of the bubble but tremble
not, for Allah will preserve it till it suits his purpose to destroy it."
Many, very many years had elapsed. Ali's son had become a wise cadi, and all
Bagdad talked of his wisdom, and pointed to Ali as blessed by such an offspring. And
through all the city was Ali's skill in chess renowned ; and many who travelled for
miles to play with him, averred that the like had never been seen. With a long white
beard descending over his chest, and with a bright eye, Ali sat before his door, reading
the Koran. A large globe, the surface of which was tinged with many colours that
grew fainter and fainter, while from within it beamed a white light, descended from the
sky, and stood trembling before him. It shook, as it were, convulsively ; the colours
were obliterated, It burst, and Ali was no more. But the white light long continued
shining, and at length ascended into the heavens.
CUTTING DOWN AN ARTICLE.
A Dialogue "between the Editor and Tiis Amanuensis.
Let me see. We have to fill a vacant space of half a
page. What articles have we to select from ?
Amanuensis (reading titles). " Lines written to King Charles
the night after his execution." " The Wars of the League, a
tale of the Corn-laws." " Stanzas addressed to a young lady
on her having asked the author whether he danced the Polka ?
when he said, he did not, and she recommended him to take
some lessons, when he replied he certainly would."
Editor. The title of that would have answered the purpose,
if it had been a little longer. Proceed.
Amanuensis. " Love and Madness, by one who has known
the One and is still suffering from the Other." " The Bell
Ropes, a Sequel to the Chimes." " A Sonnet."
Let us hear the sonnet. That will give us the required quantity if the
Read it out, if you please.
To THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON.
" Thou art a famous general indeed."
Editor. Everybody knows that. Cut it out.
Amanuensis (reading). " To thee the wreath of glory is decreed."
Editor. Very true ; but as that forms the rhyme to the previous line, it must
Amanuensis (reading). " Not Hannibal, not Soult, not Marshal Ney,
Not Blucher, not Napoleon, not Dessaix "
Editor. The reader will never take the trouble to untie all those knots. Cut
Amanuensis (reading). " Not Alexander when he fought and won,
Did do the noble deeds that thou hast done."
quality happens to suit.
CHRISTMAS WAITS. 17
Editor. That not being as it were tied to all the other nots, the first line must he
omitted, and the second being dependent on it, must go too. Cut it out.
Amanuensis (reading). " Who conquered on the field of Waterloo ?
Does not judicious echo answer, ' You ? ' '
Editor. As echo could only answer " o-o," which means nothing, it would be more
judicious on the part of echo to make no answer at all. Cut that couplet out.
Amanuensis (reading). " Great in the senate, greater in the field,
In neither wert thou ever known to yield."
Editor. Poetically pretty, but historically false. He yielded in the senate once or
twice. Cut it out.
Amanuensis (reading). " A grateful nation prostrate at thy feet,
Comes forth with joy the warrior to meet."
Editor. When ? How ? Why ? Where ? What warrior ? Cut it out.
Amanuensis (reading). " Mercy 'tis known has ever been thy creed,
Though none so well can make a people bleed."
Editor. Capital ! Excellent ! An admirable article !
A manuensis. It 's all cut out ! ! !
Editor. Yes ; but we can restore some of it. I have it. Begin with the first line
and end with the last, commencing the latter with " For " instead of " Though." Prefix
as a title to the article " Epigram on General Tom Thumb," and read it to me.
EPIGRAM ON GENERAL TOM THUMB.
" THOU art a famous General indeed,
For none so well can make a people bleed."
Editor. There ! That reads very well. Let it be put into type immediately.
[Exit Amanuensis. Editor falls asleep over a pile of Correspondence.]
HE perfection to which everything is being brought, or attempted to be
brought, in the present day, has extended even to the Waits, who
have endeavoured to throw a sort of professional pomp over their
The following advertisement, inserted just before Christmas in
several of the morning papers, will give the reader some idea of
the high and artistical position which the Waits have at length
aspired to :
" Evening Employment : A Musical Professor, who has con-
ducted during the summer the classical quartette concerts on board the Diamond
Gravesend packet, finds his evenings at present disengaged. He is, therefore, desirous
of making an arrangement with a number of his brother professors, who must not be
less than two nor exceed three, for the purpose of giving a brief series of Midnight
Concerts during the ensuing Christmas. The Professor, being a Cornet-d-piston, would
like to meet with one or two gentlemanly Trombones, or a mild and unassuming
VOL. i. NO. i. D
Ophycleide. Being very desirous of avoiding those professional jealousies which are so
injurious to the hest interests of art, he would have no o ejection to treat with another
Cornet in a spirit of mutual confidence. An obliging Drum, of unobtrusive habits,
would be received on a liberal footing. No Serpent need apply. N.B. There is an
opening for a quietly-disposed Piccolo."
The result of this advertisement was a meeting, at which a select band of five was
arranged, and the following programme agreed upon :
" The Nobility, Gentry, Housemaids, Cooks, and Nurserymaids in general, are most
respectfully informed that
THE MIDNIGHT CONCERTS
will commence for the season immediately.
will be on the scale of former years, and will comprise Artists who, in their peculiar
walk (about the streets), are acknowledged to be unrivalled. It will consist of a
real Trombone of highly-polished brass, which, sliding to the length of three yards,
completely realises the idea of
Two Cornets-a-piston, with all the additional keys fitted to the music of Locke, and a
highly-polished Piccolo, warranted to reach a higher note than the highest note in the
Bank of England. In the course of the season the following pieces will be given. The
band being desirous of getting rid of all old scores, have had new scores made of the
music mentioned in the ensuing programme.
"Pot Poun-i, commencing with ' I Dreamt that I Dwelt in Marble Halls,' breaking
down just before the shake, and terminating with the coda of ' Still so Gently o'er me
"Grand duet from Norma, the very high notes being supplied by whistling, supported
by a strong thorough-bass of the Trombone.
FASHIONS FOR JANUARY. 19
" Snooks's own Polka, (for the first time in this country,) as hummed to Snooks by a
native of Bohemia a dealer in cigars and arranged by Snooks for a Cornet-a-piston ;
two pair of ankle-jacks to do the national stamping accompaniment, and a Piccolo
expressly for these concerts. N.B. None is genuine without the stamp of Snooks's
own highlow, to forge which is felony.
" 'Wake, dearest, wake,' addressed to the Housemaids of England ; arranged in
alternate lines for the Trombone and the Piccolo, with a lul-li-e-te accompaniment for
two voices, being an humble attempt to carry out the notion of musical comedy, so
admirably conceived and executed by Haydn in his popular Toy Symphony. N.B.
This piece will be performed in the absence of the police from their regular beats, so
that it will probably be repeated several times in the course of the same evening.
" The Strand Quadrille and Fleet-street Galop, with the St. Clement's Valse a deux
Temps, introducing the celebrated Clock crotchets, leading to a wind up in different keys,
and terminating in a slow movement.
" The streets visited will be on the extensive scale of past seasons ; and for the
benefit of parties at a distance, (that is to say, sleeping at the top of the house,) the
following arrangements have been decided on :
" Monday. The Strand and Fleet-street.
< Tuesday. Cheapside and a popular thoroughfare.
" Wednesday. The Strand, and (1st time) St. Martin's-lane.
" Thursday. A favourite Square, and other popular localities.
" Friday (last time). Cheapside, with an established Hill, and (only time this season)
the Old Bailey.
" Saturday. A Orescent, in which the whole strength of the company will appear,
with an entirely New Road, and a variety of streets, which will be announced in the bills
of the day. Being for the benefit of the Piccolo, and positively his last appearance
previous to his departure for New Zealand.
" Monday, a selection of streets, with an alley in which the Cornet-a-piston will
appear, and execute a solo for his own benefit.
" Tuesday (the last night of performing before the holidays), a favourite district,
with, first and only time, Fulwood's Rents, and a grand Square embracing the strength
of the company, aided by numerous auxiliaries. On this occasion Signer Giuseppe
Sartore will preside at the organ."
OUR Paris correspondent has sent us over a bonnet and cloak, that we may judge of
the fashions for ourselves, and describe them accordingly. The cloak is of fur, and
partakes about equally of the tippet and the cardinal, except that there seems to
have been a piece sliced off the cardinal, and long bits appear to have been added
on to the ends of the tippet. These long ends being liable to be caught by the wind,
are not adapted to afford warmth ; but by blowing about in all directions, they take
off that air of stiffness which is so destructive to elegance. For materials, lace, velvet,
and fur are chiefly in vogue ; but those who wish to unite all three, may wear black
velvet mantelets, richly bordered with fur, and trimmed with broad black lace, which will
enable the wearer, Miss Johnson, to defy any competition with which the less fortunate
FASHIONS FOR JANUARY.
Miss Thompson may have threatened her. For carriages and morning calls, ermine is
the fashionable fur; but for marketing or wet weather, squirrel is a sufficient substitute.
The imitation ermine, produced by a ground- work of unquestionable rabbit, and tipped in
various places with the tail of the ordinary lamb, is not so popular as it used to be.
One of the greatest novelties of the season is a white satin cloak, lined with ermine,
which is said to be well adapted for visiting theatres. If a lady wishes to collect a mob
round her, and to be the brilliant centre of a circle of rude juveniles, we should strongly
recommend the costume alluded to. We like to see fashion going hand-in-hand with
economy ; and we are happy to find that it is customary to convert un chdle qui ne plait
plus, or, in other words, a worn-out shawl, into a dressing-gown. Among Gentlemen's
Fashions, a Tweedish wrapper, qui ne plait plus, may be converted to the same useful
purpose. The old custom of carrying scissors and pincushions suspended from the
corsage, which our grandmothers were addicted to, is beginning to revive ; but the
articles suspended are scent-bottles and tweezers, rings and bracelets the whole
suspended by an enamelled chain, and called a chatelaine.
Our space will not allow us to go this month into the Gentlemen's costumes, but we
have made such arrangements with the best dressers in Europe, aided by tailors of the
highest celebrity, that the " Table-Book " will in future be, in this respect,
The Glass of Fashion and the Mould of Form."
Relieving a Gentleman from a state of Coma.
PRACTICAL MESMERISM. BY THE EDITOR.
THE science of Mesmerism is not by any means of modern date ; and in looking up
the subject with the eye of an antiquarian, \ve find that a farce called Animal Magnetism
was very popular with our ancestors. Mesmerism is defined to be the transmission of a
substance called magnetic fluid from one person to another, without any communication
between them. This we could easily understand ; as, for instance, a boy may throw a
stone through a window, and hit some one on the other side, which is transmitting
a substance from one person to another without any communication between the parties
concerned. There is, however, one awkward peculiarity about the magnetic fluid ; namely,
that* " its nature is unknown, and even its existence has never been demonstrated."
Nevertheless, we are called upon by the Mesmerists to admit it on the one hand, while
we serve them with a notice to produce it on the other ; and thus a point of difference
arises which we are content to reserve for the opinion of the best judges. The magnetic
action can be conveyed to very great distances, and in fact the lengths to which some
Mesmerists go is quite astonishing. In this respect Magnetism resembles the long-bow,
the range of which is known to be beyond anything.
Children above the age of seven can magnetise quite as well as adults ; but juvenile
Mesmerists ought, it seems, to be discouraged, because the exercise of the art stops
their growth. Perhaps it was the practice of Magnetism that stopped the growth
of General Tom Thumb, and caused him to become imbued with those magnetic
qualities which he appears to be possessed of. Another property which the Mesmerists
assign to their art is, that of curing more easily those who have the least the matter
* Deleuze's Practical Instruction in Animal Magnetism, p. 9.
VOL. I. NO. II.
22 PRACTICAL MESMERISM.
with them. A fortiori, it must be more successful in curing those who have nothing
the matter with them at all ; and such patients would, no doubt, derive from Mesmerism
all the improvement possible.
Magnetism is said by its friends to be particularly efficacious in seconding those
cures which Nature has commenced. Mesmerism, according to its advocates, goes
hand-in-hand with Nature in drawing disease to a conclusion ; while its opponents
compare it to the exhausted and useless hack harnessed by the side of the strong and
serviceable horse, merely " to make believe there was a pair of 'em."
We have stated briefly what Magnetism is, and we now proceed to give a few plain
directions how to practise it.
The old theory relative to the cooking of a hare is of very extensive application,
and you must first catch your Mesmerisee if you are about to turn Mesmerist. Having
got him, you must truss him down to a chair, and take hold of his thumbs till they are
about as warm as your own fingers. It is to be presumed that you will have already
had recourse to the usual Mesmeric stuffing, by the introduction of highly-seasoned
articles connected with Mesmerism, which should be inclosed, if possible, in a pufF-
paste ; and you may then proceed to baste with the magnetic fluid, yourself acting
as a kind of basting-spoon, by which, with a continued movement of the hand over the
top of the head and before the face of the patient, you pour the magnetic fluid all
When you magnetise you must make your passes from the head to the foot, and
never from the foot to the head, though no reason is given for this rule, unless that
the former motion is more likely to go down from mere sympathy with the down-
ward movement, while by the ascending process it might soon be all up with the
Mesmerist who practised it. It is chiefly by the thumbs that the fluid escapes from the
Mesmeriser, and is communicated to the Mesmerisee ; a fact which induces us to believe
that Mesmerism was one of the black arts practised by the witches in Macbeth, who
when they exclaimed
" By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes,"
were no doubt en rapport with the Thane of Glamis. The fact that the scene is a
mountainous pass, cannot, we think, fairly be used to support our theory as to the
magnetic influence exercised over Macbeth by the weird sisters. Mesmerism, according
to its advocates, will cure everything, from a pain in the crown of the head to a blister
on the sole of the foot ; but as the passes must always be made in a descending direction,
a patient must stand upon his head if he wishes to place his corns or chilblains in the
hands of the Mesmerist. There is a curious case recorded of one M. H***, a mate of
a vessel, who had a coup de soleil, or stroke of the sun, extracted from the top of his head
into a glass of magnetised water.* After that, the scrip in the company established for
extracting sunbeams from cucumbers ought to begin to look up a bit. What became of
the coup de soleil after its extraction we are not told, but it certainly ought to have been
placed under a glass case, and sent to the British Association, who would no doubt have
received it with due reverence. Had it turned out to be mere moonshine, it would have
told in amazingly well with a few other of the discoveries of the highly respectable body
But we now come to the more important branch of the subject ; and if our pre-
* Deleuze, p. 35.
vious remarks have induced in the mind of the reader a tendency to a sort of magnetic
sleep, he will perhaps be led to guess that it is somnambulism we are alluding to.
This state is induced by getting the patient into a condition of what is called coma,
which produces a very happy indifference as to the mode adopted for putting an
end to it.
But coma, or (as some term it) comma, is not where Mesmerism ought to make a
stop. Coma is only the commencement of the end ; and that great end is clairvoyance,
or the power of seeing into what may be termed literally the middle of next week, for
objects are, it is said, visible to the clairvoyant which are at least ten days' journey distant
from him who sees them. If this power is to be obtained by Mesmerism, why fritter it
away upon such very small matters as it appears to be at present employed upon ?
Such questions as, " Are you asleep ?" " When shall I wake you?" which M. Deleuze
recommends should be the sort of interrogatives put to a clairvoyant, are on a par with
" How's your mother ?" and a variety of similar queries, which are frequently addressed
to every one in general and no one in particular by the clown in a pantomime. If
the clairvoyant can see what is going on at a distance, he may as well answer great
political questions as little social ones. " Are you asleep ?" might be superseded
by such an inquiry as, " How long will the British Lion continue dormant ? " a
question which must be very interesting to those persons who are constantly com-
plaining of the noble animal alluded to being in the arms of Morpheus, as well as in
the arms of England.
To the economist of the public money Mesmerism offers a wide field, and we
particularly call the attention of Mr. Hume to the saving that might be effected by
introducing clairvoyance into one or two departments of the government. We recom-
mend the honourable member to get leave to introduce a bill for the better ordering of
the Coast-Guard Service, putting all the old-fashioned telescopes into Schedule A.,
repealing the cutlass clauses in all preceding acts, and substituting clairvoyance along
the coast for the arduous and inefficient " look out," which is kept under the present
Whatever may be the general opinion as to the policy of planting a telescope by
Act of Parliament in the back of the head of a preventive-man, there are certain cases
in which clairvoyance, if it enables one man to see the actions of others, ought, with-
out hesitation, to be put in practice. Who can question the very great advantage to be
derived from mesmerising a judge, or a chancellor ? the system would no doubt dimmish
the amount of business, for how few of those who now go to law would take the step
if they were sure of meeting with strict justice ! But if it would be beneath the
dignity of the judges to exercise any other than that natural clairvoyance which is
characteristic of nearly the whole bench, surely there would be nothing derogatory in
keeping the usher constantly in a state of coma, so that he might put a right interpreta-
tion on the evidence offered by the witnesses.
The labours of professors and pupils in universities and colleges, can be materially
abridged, if Mesmerism can achieve the wonders which its advocates allege it to be
capable of. Its applicability to scholastic purposes is obvious, but it would extermi-
nate many distinctions, for instead of the student rising by degrees, he might Mes-
merise himself at once into all the qualifications necessary for the highest honours.
In the more mechanical departments of education Mesmerism might surely be most
advantageously used ; for we are told that a piece of stick dipped into magnetised
water, and placed over a person's hand, would have the effect of lifting the fingers. In
perfect analogy with this phenomenon, a Mesmerised fiddlestick would, of course, elevate
the toes into all the positions which are taught by the dancing-master.
To return, however, to the social sphere. How conclusive might clairvoyance become
to the preservation of that exceedingly precious article, the peace of private families !
The plate which accompanies the present paper illustrates the advantages of clairvoyance
to every age, every sex, and every member of the domestic establishment.
The boy, ambitious of becoming a soldier, rendered clairvoyant by the comatising
care of his Mesmeric mother, would be made to see how, if he himself were not cut
off in all his glory, his arms might, to use a parliamentary phrase, "pair off" with
his legs at an early period.
The heiress, mesmerised by her father or her guardian, would see her treacherous
admirer on his knees to her money-bags ; and a judicious bestowal of the sack, without
its contents, would be the salutary consequence.
ON A BLOCK OF ICE BROUGHT FROM AMERICA.
The bon vivant, could he be rendered clairvoyant, would take a very enlarged view of
his own condition, as affected by port and its customary concomitants.