George Howells Broadhurst.

Why Smith left home: an original farce in three acts online

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I see zat you are here.

MRS. B. (charitable) Oh, yes, I am here, (imir



WHY SMITH LEFT HOME. m

tatinff -in aid) But what would your wife say if she
kiu'w of this?

\I:RAL. (L. c., very much annoyed) Why
speak of her at this happy time. Let us talk of
something more pleasant. Zat kiss you promised
me this morning.

MRS. B. But you have no business to kiss me.

GENERAL. My dear girl, I do not kiss you for
business. I kiss you for pleasure.

MRS. B. (angrily, aside) I will catch him in
the act. (to GENERAL) Well, General, as I have
promised you a kiss, you may take it.

(GENERAL advancing to MRS. B. lends over and
Jcisses her.)

GENERAL. What happiness! (Enter JULIA R.
3 E. in time to see GENERAL kiss MRS. B.) Who
are you? (to MRS. B.)

MRS. B. Your wife. Now, what have you to say
for yourself?

GENERAL. (L. c.) Nothing. I am deaf and
dumb.

MRS. B. (L.) But I am not, I know all, see.
You shall pay dearly for this. We leave this house
now, this very instant, not another minute do we
stay. Understand me, sir, not another minute.

LAVINIA. (R. 2) No fighting here, no fighting
here. Oh, it's Mrs. Billetdoux !

MRS. B. Who understands thoroughly what is
going on and who leaves to-night, (to MRS. S. who
enters R. 3) Well, what have you learned?

MRS. S. (R.) I have learned, Auntie, that John
loves me, and me, alone.

MRS. B. (crosses c.) And I've learned enough
to make me determined never to trust my husband
from my sight again.

GENERAL. (L. c.) I am sorry for me. (SMITH
enters R. 3)



112 WHY SMITH LEFT HOME.

MRS. B. And to take him out of temptation'?
way I shall depart immediately, General.

(ELSIE enters R. 3, joined by JULIA. MR. S. c.
Enter BOB and ROSE, arm in arm, R. 2 E., see-
ing MR. and MRS. S. starts back.)

SMITH, (c.) Don't worry, everything is all
right, Bob.

(Lively p.p.)

MRS. S. (L. c.) And you knew?

SMITH. (R.) Certainly, (to BOB and ROSE)
You can stay right here and the party may go on
to the end. (to MRS. S.) Marion, our honeymoon
has been delayed too long and we'll start on it right
away.

MRS. S. (crossing to ROSE enter MAJOR, Miss
S.) But I can't go in this dress.

SMITH. Of course you can. Lavinia, bring Mrs.
Smith's cloak. Julia, pack Mrs. Smith's trunks and
send them to the Waldorf. Elsie, order the carriage
immediately.

ALL. Are you really going to leave home?

SMITH. Yes, for a time at least, and if anyone
should ask why I left home, tell them it is because
I am in love with my wife. (SMITH and MRS.
SMITH exit L. 3. Forte) So long, Bob, ta-ta,
Major. Good-bye, everybody.

(All good-lyes, etc.)
QUICK CURTAIN.



UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY
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FtB 8 1921
27 ::



o '



SEP
OCT3C -.328



FEB 6 1934



REC'D D5



31 1983



50i-7,'lG



YB 74578



398871






UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY





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Online LibraryGeorge Howells BroadhurstWhy Smith left home: an original farce in three acts → online text (page 7 of 7)