Glance Gaylord.

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Kor left the game till he had run it down.

One night our hero rambling with a friend,
Kear fam'd St. Giles's chanc'd his course to bend.
Just by that spot the Seven dial's hight;

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Twas sflenoe all around, and clear the coast.
The watch, as usual, dozing on his post.
And scarce a lamp display 'd a twinkling light.

Around this place there liv'dthe num'rous dans
Of honest, plodding, foreign artizans.

Known, at that time, by the name of refugees ;
The rod of persecution from their home.
Compelled the inoffensiTe race to roam.

And here they lighted, like a swarm of bees.

Well ! our two friends were sauntering down the street.
In hopes some food for humour soon to meet.

When, in a window near, a light they view,
And though a dim and melancholy ray,
tt seem*d the prologue to some merry play,—

So tow'rda the gloomy dome our hero drew.

Straight at the door he gave a thund'ring knoek,
(The time we may suppose, near two o'clock ;)

* I'll ask,' says King, ' if Thompson lodges here.'
'Thompson!' cries t'other, 'who the devil is he?'
*I know not,' King replies, ' but want to see

Whiat kind of animal will appear.'

After some time, aUttle Frenchman came.

One hand displayed a rushlight's trembling flanio.

The other held a thing they call ctUotte ;
An old striped woollen night-cap grao'd his head,
A tatter'd waistcoat o'er one shoulder spread.

Scarce half awake, he heav'd a yawning note.

Though thus untimely rous'd, he courteous smil'd,
And soon address'd our wag in accents mild ;

Bending his head politely to his knee,
* Pray, sare, vat vant you, dat you come so late ?
I beg your pardon, sare to make you Tait;

Fray tell me, sare, vat your commands vid mo ?

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' Sir/ replied King, *I merely thought to know
As by your house I chanced to-night to go-
But really, sir, Idistorb'dyoursleep, I fear —
I lay— I thought— that you perhaps, could teU
' Among the folks who in this street may dwdl.
If therms a Mr. Thompson lodires here ?

The shiy'ring Frenchman, though not pleased to find
The business of this unimportant kind,

Too simple to suspect 'twas meant in jeer,
Shrugg'd out a sigh, that thus his rest should break.
Then, with unalter'd courtesy, he spake, —

*lCo, Bare, no Honsiur T6nson lodges here.'

Oar wag b^g'd pardon, and toward home he sped.
While the poor Frenchman crawl'd again to bed;

But King resolv'd not thus to drop the jest.
80 the next, night, with more of whim than grace.
Again he made a visit to the place.

To break, once more the poor old French- man's re\

He knocked— but wuted longer than before—
Ko footstep seem'd approaclung to the door.

Our Frenchman lay in such a sleep profound ;
King, with the knccker, thunder'd then again.
Firm on his post determined to remain.

And oft, indeed, he made the door resound.

At last King hears him o'er the passage creep;
Wond'ring what fiend again disturb'd his sleep;

The' wag salutes him with a civil leer;
Thus drawling out, to heighten the surprise,
(While the poor Frenchman rubb'd his heavy eyes,)

* Is there— a Mr. Thompson lodges here ?'

The Frenchman falter'd, with a kind of fright,
• Vy, sare— I'm sure I told you, sare, last night,'
(And here he labour'd vnth a sigh sincere,)

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* No Moosienr Tonson in the varld I know^
No Monsieur Tonson here— I told you so ;

Indeed, aare, dare no Monaiux Tonson horeT

Some more excuses tender'd, off King goe^.

And the old Frenchman sought, once more, rcpew.

The rogue next night pursu'd his old career—
'Twas long, indeed, before the man came nigh.
And then he utter'd, in a piteous crj,

' Sare, 'pon my soul, no Monsieur Tonscm here 1*

Our sportive wight his usual visit paid.

And the next night came forth a prattling Bnaid,

Whose tongue, indeed, than any jack went faster j
Anxious she strove his errand to inquire ;
He said, * "Tis vain her pretty tongue to tire,

He should not stir till he had seen her master '

The damsd then began,, m doleful state.
The Frenehman's broken slumbers to relate.

And begg'd he'd call at proper time of day.
King told her she must fetch her master down,
A chaise was ready— he was leaving town.

But, first, had much of deep concern to say.

Thus urg'4, ri» went the snoring man to cttH,
And long, kidlMd,, waa she obliged to bawl,

Ere she eould-rouee the torpid lump of clay ;
At last, he wake»— he rises— and he swears,
But scarcely had he totter'd down the stairs,

When King attacks him in his Bsual way.

The Frenehman now perceiv'd twaa all in vain
To this timnentor mildly to complain.
And straight in rage his crest began to rear>-

* Sare, vat tho devil make you treat me so?
Sare, I inform you, sare, three nights ago.

Got tarn! I swear no Monsieur Tonson here t*
103 L

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True M the night. King went, and hoard a strife
Between the harass'd Frenchman and his wife.

Which would descend to chase the fiend away ;
At length to join their forces they agree.
And straight impetuooslj they turn the key,

Frepar'd ?ath mntnal fury for the fray.

. Oor hero, with the firmness of a rock.
Collected to receiTe the mighty shock,

Utt'ring the old inquiry calmly stood —
The name of l^ompson rais'd the storm so hi^jh,
He deemed it then the safest plan to fly,
With, 'Well m call i^ain when you're in gender

In short, our hero, with tne same intent.

Full many a night to plague the Frenchman \> out.

So fond of mischief was the wicked wit ;
They throw out water- for the watch they call.
But King, expecting, still escapes frcmi all —

MonMeur, at last, was forced his house to quit.

It happen'd that our wag, about this time.

On som^ fair prospect sought the eastern clime ;

Six ling'ring years where there his tedious lot.
At length, content, amid his rip'ning store.
He treads again on Britain's happy shore.

And his long absence is at onceforgot.

To London ?nth impatient hope he flies.
And the same, night, as former freaks arise, .
He fain must stroll, the well-known haunt to traoo.

* Ah! here's the scene of frequent mirth 1' he said $

* My poor^ old Frenchman, I suppose, is dead—

Egad! I'll knock, and see who holds his place.*

With rapid strokes he makes the mansion roar.
And while he eager eyes the op'ning dour,
Lo ! who obeys the knocker's rattling peal P

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Why e'en^ur littlo Frenchman strange ! to say,
He took his old abode that very day —
Capricious turn of Fortune's sportive wheel I

Without one thought of the relentless foe,
'V^'ho fiend-like haunted him so long ago.

Just in his former trim he now appears ;
The waistcoat and the night-cap seemed the same.
With rushlight, as before, he creeping came.

And King's detested voice astonished hears.

As if some hideous spectre struck his sight.
His senses seem'd bewilder'd with afiVight ;

His face, indeed, bespoke a heart full sore.
Then starting, be exclaim'd, in rueful strain,
*BegHr ! here's Monsieur Tonson come again !'

Awajr he raiu and ne'er was heard of more i


Wbll timed, how oft we may surprisoy
A single rogue, of ears or eyes;
Unthinking fool, — devoid of care.
He falls into a well known snare.

One day old Farmer Roger went
To church (not for the sacrament
Or for the prayers), of such like stuflf.
One day each week he had enough.
But to consult his pastor kind —
For his best goo^e had taken wing.
Without her will, no doubt, poor thing.
It grieved him sore, — with sad comphdnt

He filled the parson's ears :
The tale induced the pious saint,

To lull the poor man's fears. r

Alas ! how mortals are oppressed !
What cares, what woes, disturb our rest ;

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And we can bnt repine;
That goose was next day to be dressed.

For Roger's friends to dine.
Sanday,— next day,— the priest averred.
By prayers he might bring back the bird.
The church was full, when with a frown.
The pastor cries, ** sit down, sit down ;'*
They thought that this unusual cry
Or question needed no reply ;

* Sit down, ye wicked ones.'— He stopped,
"When up at once the assembly popped,—

* We be sit down, Zur;'— ' Oh'.' he cries,

* Ye need not screen > our faults with lies;—
The man who stole the goose he stands.
His pockets furnished with his hands ;'

He, luckless wight, now scrtached his crown.
And cries, ' Lawk, Zur, I be sit down j'
< Ah,' said the parson with a laugh,
' Old birds, I find, are caught with chaff.'


What thof I be a oountry-clown.

For all the fuss that you make.
One need not to be bom in town.

To know what two and two make ; '
Squire Fop there thinks his empty pate

Worth all ours put together;
But how can that have any weight

That's only made of feather ?
Then don't ye be so proud, d'ye see.

It e'nt a thing that's suiting.
Can one than t'other better be.

When both are on a footing ?

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Kow here's a man, who seas and land

Has dreamt that he can cross over t
That all the world's at his command.

For he's a great philosopher :
That to each secret ho no bars

E'er finds, but can unlock it.
And coDJure down the moon and stars.

And put them in hia pocket
But when yon'ye caught him, where'sthe i)riae.

Bo mighty to the getter?
For sartin, he may make ns wise.

Bat can he make us better.

My lady there, because she's dressed

In lappets, frills, and flounces ;
See, how with pride her fluttering breast.

Throbs, heaves, and thumps, and bounces |
And then, 'tis said, they make a face, -

Kew spick and span each feature.
As if they thoughf that a disgrao*

That's ready made by Kafcure.
The money, for a head so high.

Such scoUops and such carving.
Would keep an honest family

A month, or more, from starving.

As for the doctors, and their pill.

Odds wounds ! I can't endure thom |
For sartin they their patients kill

More oftoDcr than they cure thom.
And as for Master Poet here.

Who writes for fame and glory,
I think as he's a little queer.

Poor soul! in the upper story ;
I've yet another wipe to spare.

For, wounds ! I'll give no quarter,
Next time you find a fool, take care

You do not catch a Tartar.

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In Italy, as authors tell us.
There liv'd a painter wood'rous jealous;
Tormented with a female evil.
Tempting and subtle as the devil ;
A slipp'ry Proteus, whom no chain,
Kor Spanish padlock, cotdd contain.
Thus she created frequent smart
To spouse's aching head and heart,
'Twas the chief business of his life.
How to confine this eel, his wife ;
Inventive noddle teems at last,
With an odd whim to hold her fast ;
Besolv'd his pencil art to show,
(Whate'er he can't perform below)
He drew a mule, with dcxt'rous skill.
On the soft brow of Venus hill.
Thus, if she stray'd, he could for certain
Know it by drawing up the curtain.
But ah ! how vain our councils are.
And all our plots against the fair !
Comes brother Brush to take a bout.
So, L — d knows how ! they rubb'd it out.
But, as he was an honest brother.
Finding one gone, he drew another;
Forgetting what the first did lack.
He clapp'd a saddle on his back.
Chloe was hugely pleas'd, and smil'd
To think how seignor was beguil'd,
"Who, reeling home one ev'ning late.
With mellow looks and jealous pate,
Tow'd he'd not take a wink of sleep.
Without one dear, departing peep.

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« Can yoa distrust me?' Chloe cries,
' Inhmnsn man !' and wipes her eyes;
•Put on your spectacles and view it,
The mule, my dear, is where you drew it.*
*The mule I see iS' safe, my dear.
But 8— ds, who put the saddle here ?*


AiB— " The Soneymoon.**

Habk ! the buz of Corent-garden-market is increasing
Waggons, baskets, cabbages, and carrots choke the
Costermongers and greengrocers bustle now amid the
And drive their bargains hard ere they drive iheix carta
Water-cresses— birds and china— oranges and apples,
Turnips, eggs, and roses of the very finest dye ;
Nuts and pears, with cherriee ripe that look so tempt-
ing to the view ;
Asparagus, fine peaches, hoboys, nectarines— who'll

SpoiBir.] (A$ a Jew ototheeman.) Clo! Clol Clo! —
(Soy.) I say, Moses, have you come from the Old
' Bailey ?—(Jew.) Vhy so?— (Boy.) Who was hung there
last week? — Oat avay, you little plackguard.— Moses,
wasn't it Abrahams, for cutting the dog's throat,. in
Norfolk-street ? — Veil, suppose it vas ; do you think
your peoples are to keep all the gallows to themselves P
Hare-skin I rabbit-skin I Cook, have you any hare-
skin P— No, my mistress cuts them iJl up to make
comforters for the children.-— Coach! coach! (in a

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Jborve totee.}'^!^ hired.— I say yon are not.— I nji I
«m.— Bat X wy 70a are not.— Why, how d'je know?—
I know you're not, yon scoundrel !— You're Tery handj
«t yonr good namefl, howdsomerer ; but look inside, if
yon don't believe. There ! there's » gentleman lying
«n both seits asleep; he engaged me for a whole day;
he's going to the Boyalty Theatre, in Well-close-sqnare,
thk erening* and is determined to be there in time. —
WhUt^s o'clock, watchman ?— I cant tell; I'm off my
beat.— You deserve to be beat for the answer.— Halloo !
who hare yon here F This gentleman seems to have busi-
ness on both sides of the way (reeUng).—Tt&jt sir, can
yon ten me which is my way home ? — really sir I cannot,
unless you will first tell me where you live.— That's
exactly what I want to find out— it's— it'Sr-that is to
Ba,j—(hiceougk)—I live in one of the new streets that
a'n't christened yet, and we haVn't settled whether my
house is No. 9. or No, 40. I beg your pardon.— Steady,
steady. — Bless my soul! how Tery uneven they do make
the <t>ads.— Bear me ! whats the matter with that g»i«
Heman?— Nothing; he's merely been spinning out the
evening with a few friends, and now he's reeling it
home. Halloo ! coach, I eay.— I'm hired.— Yes ; and
Tm tired, so we shall suii; very well together.— Where
do you want to go to, sir P— To the city.— My horses
live at Pimlico, and they «an't go.— Do you want ere #
basket-woman, your honour?— No, sir! much obIige4
to you ; no sir.— Och ! be after using me, your honour.
—No, sir; much obliged to you ; no sir.— And does,
^our honour mistake the §€xe$, sure ? and a'n't I a wo-
man, now ? only by my coat and hat you're after taking
me Hdt one of yourselves; but if your honour will only
iUp into my basket. 111 trip home with you as safe as
A bunch of turnips, and much cheaper into tiie bargain.

Hark I the buz, &c.

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IToff tJL the mMUt ne conuDg in, «id femaUi twirl aU
their mops,
Hilk-maids, in the iratery way, abore the area call;
Apprentices begin to think how soon thejil open all
their shops.
While *<£^ve«p/" in accents mnsical, the sooty nrohini
Greeks and pigeons now tnm oat» from FaU^maU and
St. James's Street ;
"With " done," and " done," there's many done, at
hazard, rouge ei noir;
Parties from quadrille returning, exquisitely fine, yoa
The market beating Sdbylon in all concision's roar 1

SpoKSir.] Ha! why it's Jack! our friend Jack, How
<i'ye do? you rise early. —No; I've been np Za/».— Why,
Where's your cabriolet P Ohl it's gone^gone, my dear
. fellow :~played with a Ariend— lost all the cash; two to
one on the cab, says he— done, says I; away went
the dice, then I lost my man — but that's nothing. Owe
him two years* wages— rather a troublesome article.
So away wei^t my cabriolet and friend together, and
here am l.—fSomeownde.) I say. Bill, here s the Man-
chester mail.— Stop the coaeh I Fray, Mr. Coachman,
have you a small brown paper parcel, with a pair of brass
annffers and a box-iron, directed to " Mrs. Mary Old*-
mayon, No. 2, Frospect>Bow, Filligree-plaoe f"— Go to
Jericho with you. Ya, hip !— Fray, sir, can you tell me
where the Bath stage goes from ?— Yes, sir, from tho
Golden Cross, or from the White Horse Cellar, or from
the Swan with Two Necks, or from the Bull and Mouth*
or from the George and Blue Boar, or from the Sara*
cen's Head, or from the— Ay, you have told quite
enough already, sir, I'm sure.- 1 say, what building ia
that? That's the Lying-in-Hospital.- That wiU jusi
•nit us, for we have been lying out all night. — ** Sweep

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sweep!" How Ipitj those crefttnres who are obliged to
plod through the dirty paths of life to keep oa clean. —
Ay, a friend of mine has invented a plan to do away
with climbing-boy».~How is that, pra, ?— He mean^ to
anbstitnte climbing girls. — Indeed ! — Sir, I am surprised
at your introducing such a subject at this time of the
morning.— " Sweep ! sweep !■' — Here my little fellow,
here's sixpence for you.— Thank'ee, sir. — Come, Bill,
make a bow to the gentleman. (The master , tm a
lehisper, to the hoy :) I say Bill, To'n't you be arter
treating your master to a dram ? (Aloud :) I alrays
takes care of the boy's money, your honour.

Hark ! the buz, &c.

London streets begin to fill—the overgrown metropolis
Is pouring forth it's populace, their business to attend ;
Though late they seem deserted, like the lonely Perse-
Now all is hurry -bustle, from the east to the west end :
Dustmen, dandies, fishmongers, and porters, racing to
and fro;
Bakers, newsmen, barrow-women, all their trades
now drive ;
Covent-garden-market is the onlv place in town, I know.
Where London, in epitome, is always found alive.

• Spokbn.] "Mackarel! ah, mackreal!" — "WTiat «
number of derivations that word has in London, to be
sure; now only listen : "Ah meckral ! eh, mackeral!
oh, mackerall ! ah, mackera ! " (Imitating Ike varioue
voices J "Gooseberries! ripe gooseberries!"— Why,
what notes do you call them ?— I should consider them
as ftarroto-notes. — "Milk below 1 Milk above t meoht
me oh I" — Why what can that man mean by me oh ?—
Surely there is no English for me oh I — No, but it'a
good French for all that ; mi oh ! (mi eauj means hdJf
Wflier.— I say, old gentleman, vith the red night cap.

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Thy don't you move your cart there P—What's that to
you.— Vhy, it is to me. I'so been standing here for the
last half'hour ; so vhy dqn't you move on your horse,
and let me get over the Tay P — If you wish to get over
the way, you must get under my horse's belly. — Yell,
you're a gentleman, full veight, I don't think. — Halloo !
coachee, are you hired ?— (Coachman yawru.) Yes ; I've
been waiting for a gentleman all night. Oh! here he is.
Hei^ I am your honour. — Well, what of that ?— I droTe
your honour here last night ; my fare was eighteen
pence.—Oli ! true, true ; and I'll pay you. — Yes, sir !
but, now I've been waiting aU night, my fare's seven-
and-twenty shillings and nine-pence.

Hark ! the bus, &o.


A CLBBK I was in London gay.

Jemmy linknm feedle.
And went in boots to see the play.

Merry fiddledum tweedle.
I marched the lobby, twirled my stick.

Diddle, daddlc, docdle ;
The girls all cried, ''He's quite the kickl'

Oh, Jemmy linkum feedle.

Hoy, for America I sail,

Yankee doodle deedle ;
The sailor-boys cried, *' Smoke his tail l" *

Jemmy linkum feedle.
On English belles I turned my back.

Diddle, daddle, deedle;
And got a foreign fair, quite black.

Oh, twaddle, twaddle, tweedle 1

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Your London girls, with rogoisli trip^

Wheedle, wheedle, wheedle.
Bout their pouting undei; lip.

Fiddle, faddle, feedle.
Wjwows would beat • hundred tooh.

Diddle, daddle, deedle.
Whose upper lip pouts twice as much.

Oh pretty double wheedle.

Binps I'll buj to deck her toes.

Jemmy linkum feedle ;
A feather fine shall grace her nose.

Waving fiddle seedle ;
"With jealousy I ne'er shall burst.

Who'd steal a bone of bones-a ?
A white Othello, I can trust

A dingy Desdemona.



A Tru9 story,

OiLSS JoLTBB went, as Tillage gossips teSl,

To Romford town his aged cow to sell;

l^e'd seen much serrioe— nsiany an Essex calf

Had drank her milk— tiU ten years and a half

Of Dolly's squeeaingdrain'd her almost dry ;

But Jolter shrewdly guess'd some one would buy.

And the experiment resolv'd to try : —

At length a chapman came—a bargain then

Was struck for the old cow, at four pounds ten —

Giles rubb'd his hands with glee, then homeward went.

His mind fall on his lucky bargain bent;

And as ho quaffed his nut-brown ale.

And, laughing, told his dame the tale«

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The lout declar'd, that 'tvns his firm belief
The poor old cow would make rare Lunnun ht^l
Bat ah ! how little Farmer Jolter thought.

While he his joke enjoj'd and swigg'd his * nitppj,'
That he in roguery's trap might soon be caught.

And teUa dismal tale, though now so happy.
The cow's new master soon to Smithfield sent her
As the best place to gain by the adventure ;
For, possibly, he thought
The cow might there be bought
By one of those good souls who raakopolonUt,
Who're not partieularlif nice.
If they can deal at a fair price,
What sort of flesh they buy, or what the bone is.
But, it appears the sausage trade was dull^

Christmas was Bear—prime oxen all the cry—
The market, too, it seems, was over fuU^
So the old cow was pass'd unheeded by.
Until a couMregeneraior spied her,

(A very skilful man in his profession)
Who said at onoe, the moment that he ey'd her.

For just one orown he'd put her in possession
Of an her former smooth and sleeky looks.
In short, he'd make her young again I—* Ghubooks.'
The doctor cried, * I'll do't this very day ;
Toa'U pay if I succeed—
If not, you wo'n't,' — * Agreed,
Agreed,* repiled the man, — ' no core no pay.'
The doctor straight commenced his operations;
Her shaggy hide he trimm'd, her horns he sorap'd.
He rubb'd and scrubb'd— in short no mode ewap'd
To etfect the much-desired renovation ;
In faith, the job was done to admiration ;
So that the crown
Was soon put down.
With matnal thanks and real e<mgratalalioa.

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174 couic SONGS,

The owner vie >'d his cow with great delight}
Ah ! thought he, what a locky dog was I
This beast at Romford market thus to hnj.

Egad, to sell her there I'll now endearoor i
Who knows but that her former master might

Still want a yonnger one ?— the thought is clercr,

I'll send her back, and try my Inok however.
A salesman then he hir'd without delay,—
And off to Bomford sent her the next day.
Jolter was there— the cow soon caught his eye-
He ask'd the price, and seem'd resolved to boy ;
*Pray, what's her age ?' said Jolter, 'and what breed F'

* Oh, she's a young 'un yon may plainly see;

And as for breed, why she's an Aldemey.*
*An Aldemey! now, is she one indeed?
I likes them kind of cows the best of any |
But 'pon my soul, she looks by half '

More like my old 'un's calf!
For, as to calves, my old 'un suckled many.
But vrhat's the price ? I'll deal wi* ye if I can—
' Fifteen pound ten's the lowest,' said the man }
"So sooner said than done— the cash was given,
And home to Jolter's farm the beast was driven.
Meanwhile the salesman, laughing in his sleeve,

Betum'd to town, and gave to his employer
The cash whoso loss poor Jolter had to grieve.

Who useless found it to employ a lawyer j
As in the sequel we are bound to state,
Mlien Jolter's tale we're call'd on to relate.
As he ezplain'd it to the magistrate.
Our task it must be now
To say what happened to the cow.
Like an old resident, who knew her place.

Soon as she enter'd at the door.
She stretch'd her limbs, with far more ease than grace.

Where many a time she'd stretch'd those limbs befi^re.

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TSfext mom with pail and stool came milkmaid Dolly,
Who soon uprous'd her old acquaintance Colly ;
She press d the soorce whence milk she thought would

And roughly grasp'd it with her ruddy hand,

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