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Flying visits



Harry Furniss




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Accessions ^l, ^P ^



The Boston-Library Society.

Organized 1792. Incorporated 1794.
iS^BOYLSTON PLACE.



k^di^AjF.jJP'.U 189^ ,

To be returned in five weeks. A fine ot one- cent
will be incurred for each day this volume is detained
beyond that time.

CANCELLED



1940



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^ - - —

1893



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FLYING VISITS



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FLYING VISITS



BY

HARRY FURNISS



WITH ILL USTRA TIONS B Y THE A UTHOR



^ 1T04 '

SOCIETY



NEW YORK

UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY

5 AND 7 East Sixtebnth Street

Chicago: 366 & 368 Wabash Avb.



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K3) ;t4»-3



HARVARD

lUNIVERSITY]

LIBRARY

OCT 8 1941



Copyright, xSga,

BY

UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY
[All rights reserved]



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INTRODUCTION,



As these articles have appeared in Black and

White, it is needless for me to say that my

impressions are in no way colored; and

although I travelled 7,cxx5 miles in sixteen

weeks to give my entertainment '* The

Humors of Parliament" all over the United

Kingdom, and am therefore qualified perhaps

to compile an elaborate work, such as

An Encyclopeedic Guidebook to the British

Isles, yet I did not seek for material, but

just dotted down impressions in my flight,

and as such I present them to my reader,

with the addition of extracts from letters to a

friend at home, to whom this book is hereby

dedicated.

HARRY FURNISS.

London, 1892.



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CONTENTS.



PAGE

Introduction, v

Show Week in Dublin, 5

Across the Channel — "Davy" — His repartee to Dr.
Tanner — From Kingstown to Dublin — The Horse
Show — Biassed Critics — How Jupiter Jumped— And
how Programmes Jump.

"After the Horse Show's Over," . . . .21
Irish Celebrities— Dublin in Darkness— '* Liberty I " —
Typical incongruities — The permanent Lord Mayor
of Dublin — The fiery, untamed athlete — Football ex-
traordinary — Curious cricket — Enthusiastic Pamell-
ites — Between Scylla and Charybdis.

Round Belfast at High Pressure, . . . .39
Jottings en route— The Legs of the Law — " When Con-
stabulary's duty's to be done " — Mr.** MacMoneygle"
—Off!— An Electrical Rush— Round the Town— A
Mammoth Workshop — Nearly Cremated — We are
frozen, baked, galvanized, hammered, planed, tarred,
and varnished — **Fleshers" — **Far from the Mad-
ding Crowd "—The Spirit of Belfast.

From Ledgers to Leeks, 56

Counterfeit Celebrities — ^The Decay of Summer — ** All
that was left of them"— Miss Taffy's Teeth— Llan-
dudno— Masculine Young Ladies.



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viu CONTENTS.

PAGB

Southport-on-Sand, 72

The Sahara of Lancashire — ^An Artificial Seaside —
The Fair on the Sands— The Wreck of the ** William
Fisher" — A Gigantic Centipede — Dry Land Sailing
—A Family Photo— The N^w Theatre.

The Brighton of the North, 87

The Spa and its Manager — ^A Contrast — The Jockey
Postilions — A Sketch after Leech — Familiar Figures
on the Spa— The Wielder of the BAton— A Band of
Undertakers — The Visitors' Daily Programme.

Sanctity and Hams, 98

York — An Artistic Joke— J. L. Toole and the Native —
Up the River— A Clerical City— A Church-like Thea-
tre — ^York as a Commercial Centre.

Sheffield in Black and White, . . . .112
A Picture of Sheffield, Black— Another, White—" Aa
know that man, he cums fra' Sheffield" — Endcliff
Wood — Puzzle, find the Queen.

The Home of " Ye Pantiles," 120

The Discoveitr of the Waters— The Elixir of Life—
Tunbridge Wells as it was — Movable Dwellings — A
Scene of Devastation — Ye Pantiles of the Past — The
Ancient Dispenser of Chalybeate — "Feyther's look-
in* I " —A Second Edition of ** The Jumping Frog."

The Show Garden of England, . . . .138
A Big Exhibition ; Side Shows extra—" Tolls, please I "
— Playing at Trains — Coach Touts — The Side
Shows — Pretty Totland Bay — A Dangerous Foun-
dation — The Flowers in the Garden.



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CONTENTS. IX

PACK

Eastbourne aftbr the Season, . . . .153
Good-by to the Holiday Makers — Splash Point— How
the Visitor Spends the Day — His Friend, the Waiter
—The Daily Papers— The Pavilion— The Manager's
Enterprise — Ladies on the Links — The Curse of Elast-
boume — ^A Fugitive.

Pines and Parsons, 166

Why not Bradlaughmouth ? — Retired Warriors — The
Bedroom Brigade — A more dpropos Statue —
Church, Sermons, and Curates— The Sanctity of the
Winter Garden Destroyed — ^A Sumptuous Hotel —
The Valley of the Bourne — An Awe-inspiring Foun-
tain—The Invalids' Walk— Sir William.

Notes by the Way, and a Look in at Ripon, • 186
The Last Coach of the Season— The Old Style and the
New — The Black Country — A Modem Hades — Peace-
ful Ripon— I Explore the Wrong Hotel— The Wail
of the Nine o'Clock Horn — The Facetious Producer
thereof—" Old Boots"—" Made in Germany "—Ger-
man V. English Waiters — ^The Mayor's Procession —
" We don^t like London."

Mems. on the Mersey, 199

A Cosmopolitan Spot — Landing Stage Dramas — Playing
His First Part— A Busy Watery Highway— The Fer-
ries — Business and Pleasure — Mr. Simpson — ^A Polar
Picture — A Suggestion to Dramatists.

**The Granite City," 215

My First and Last Haggis — The Granite — Nofees by
Day and Night — The Tintinnabulation of the Bells
— Festivities in connection therewith — My Banquet
—My Host— The Scotch Humorist— " Auld Lang



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X CONTENTS.

PAGE

Syne," and the Effects it Produces — * * Linked Arms,
Long Drawn Out."

My First Glimpse of " Modern Athens," • . 229
A Beautiful City— Statuary "de trop"— Sir Walter
Scott's Monument — Prince Albert's Statue — The
Castle — Billings' Barracks — The One o'Clock Gun
and its Effect-r-Dinnertime for Thomas McAtkins —
Young Edinburgh — I View the City under Unfavora-
ble Conditions.

The Queen of the South, 244

Three to One — Burns Mania — Window-pane Verses —
Burns Going to the Dogs — The Two Markets — A
Scotch Russian — An Ex-M.P. — Only a Face at the
Window— Old Mortality and His Pony— The Obser-
vatory Garden.

The Town of the " Twa Brigs," , . . .257
More of the Burns Epidemic— Relics of Tam O'Shan-
ter and Souter Johnny— The Burns Country — " The
Auld Brig o' Doon "— The Esplanade— An ** Ayr-
gun "—The Legend of the " Twa Brigs "—No Ro-
mance Nowadays.

Cottonopolis, .271

Old Mancunium— Smoke and Shekels — Musical Man-
chester—Oh ! those Lorries !— A Typical Picture of
the City — More Statues— One that was left of them.

Travelling in Scotland, 282

A Stranger in a Strange Land— Over the Border— My
First Glimpse of the "Land o' Cakes"— And my
First of Switzerland— Draughty Carriages— Gretna
Green— Elopements up to Date—" Caledonia, Stern
and Wild "—Giants' Golf Links—** Caller Herrin' ! "



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Holyhead.



My dear J/.,

We are off at last on tour with " The Hu-
mors of Parliament.^' Leaving Euston by the Irish
Mail^ I was rather disappointed to find that Mr.
Gladstone^ Sir William Harcourty Sir Richard Tern -
pie, and Mr. Joseph Chamberlain had only sent repre-
sentatives to see me off^ as I had a neat little speech
ready with which to address them^ k la Gladstone^
from the carriage window, , . . It rather amused
ine to read in the papers that " Harry Furniss has
packed his portmanteau and is off on tour.'' Port-
manteau indeed ! You might as well say that Irv-
ing was taking his costume basket with him^ Miss
Terry her handbags or George Grossmith a musical
box. I believe that Mr. Irving takes a train with
sixteen carriages^ and of course George Grossmith' s



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2 FLYING VISITS.

piano is a necessity. I only wish that I could have
got the fifth part of my luggage into the space of an
ordinary luggage van. Just look ! You can judge
for yourself The boxes on the left contain my elabo-
rate paraphernalia^ a complete fit-up and a triple re-
flex combination self-acting double-riveted 400 horse-



power lantern^ a patent collapsing up-to-data air-tight
and rain-proof studio^ and a new elastic-sided electro-
plated writing-case , jewelled in four places ; indeed^
so elaborate were my belongings that the stations-mas-
ter^ who was of an inquisitive turn of mindy and
who happened to know that I was going on tour with
my shoWy thought that I had got most of the Meni-



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FLYING VISITS. 3

bers hid away among my baggage^ and that I was go-
ing to exhibit them after the fashion of a menagerie.
. . . Macy my secretary ^ travels with me^ and I

am accompanied as well by Professor C , facile

princeps in the art of manipulating the lantern; and
apart from this he is a veritable Mark Tapley.
From his aspect you might take him for a High
Church parson^ but there is a quiet gleam in his eye
which betokens the innate sense of humor he possesses.
He has travelled a good dealy — been all through
America^ and has ^^done^^ our
own provinces time after time^
and many are the tales he has
to tell of his adventures ; but we
thought it somewhat curious that
in telling us when any particu-
lar incident occurred^ he used as
his landmarks of time, not dates,
but accidents or murders which
had occurred in or about the
town he was speaking of at the
time. . . . / must confess that I am a little ner-
vous about this my d6but in the provinces as an inde-
pendent entertainer. As you know, I have lectured a
good deal in the country ; but then a lecturer^ s audi-
ence is always assured beforehand, as he is engaged by



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4 FLYING VISITS.

some Society or Institute : but now that I have given
up trying to make people wise^ and endeavor instead
to make them merry — in other wordsy now that I have
abandoned lecturing in favor of entertaining^ — it is a
different matter ^ as I appeal direct to the public ; and
I am told that a London success, however great , counts
for very little in the country. . ♦ . Best wishes*

Yours, etc.,,




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SHOW WEEK IN DUBLIN.



Across the Channel — *' Davy" — His repartee to Dr. Tanner —
From Kingstown to Dublin — The Horse Show — Biassed
Critics — How Jupiter Jumped — And how Programmes
Jump.



/



as

er
''^^ • so dirty as when I visited

it during the Horse Show, or rather Horse
Fair, week. Standing on the deck of the Royal
Mail steamer Ulster, listening to the paddles
churning up the waves with their ponderous



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6 FLYING VISITS.

blades, their regular beat seems to be repeat-
ing to you with a monotonous, rhythmical
swing: ** Cead mille failthe! Cead miUe
failthe! Cead mille failthe!" and you picture
to yourself the
artistic figure
of Erin lookino^
over lovely Dub-
lin Bay, waiting
to welcome
you. In reality,
the eye that
awaits you is
one of keen busi-
ness ; and the ^
first specimen of
this is the hu-
morous twinkle,
albeit with mer-
cenary intent,
of an extraor-
dinary individ-
ual with long,
matted hair,

and overcoat of gigantic dimensions held
"iligantly" up on one side, encircling numer-
ous bundles of the literature of the country.



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SHOW WEEK IN DUBLIN. 7

This IS " Davy." The first thing he hands you
as you step off the steamer at Kingstown is a
little advertisement of himself in book form,
in which I read the following stanza : —

Davy hath a beaming eye ;

On all his customers it beameth ;
Everyone who passes by

Thinks that for himself it gleameth ;
But there's an eye that's brighter far,

And shines behind this jovial quizness,
Leading like a guiding star,

And that is Davy's eye for business.

It is certainly a most roguish eye, and I was
rather astonished when he came up and ad-
dressed me by name.

" Shure and Oi knew yez at wants from yer
porthraits in the paypurs, and Oi'm glad to
wilcome yez to ould Oireland. Maybe we
may meet in London some day, whin Oi dhress
in the hoight of fashion, wid me frackcoat, and
toi, and cane. Oi always go over for the
Darby, and have a pape at the House of
Commons. Now ye'll be after drawin' me
porthrait, won't yez, Misther Furrniss ? Ye'll
not forget Davy ? "

There is no doubt that Davy has a con-
siderable fund of native Irish wit, which I have
noticed is fast disappearing from his country-



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8 FLYING VISITS.

men, crushed out by the latter-day rancorous
party feeling and political wrangling. Perhaps
the best repartee of Davy's is one related by
himself, concerning Dr. Tanner.

"How's yourself. Doctor?" said Davy one
evening, as the M.P. stepped ashore.

"Very well; and how are you, Davy? I
see you haven't had your hair cut lately ? "

"No," said Davy; "but Mr. Balfour will
soon cut yours for you ! "

If first impressions are everything, I wonder
what impression a Saxon would get of Ireland
by being received by this uncouth and un-
kempt individual !

It is particularly interesting to me to re-
visit Dublin, and I may be pardoned if I am
personal for a moment, and settle a question
once for all of national importance; viz.,
whether the writer of these lines is an Irish-
man or not. My father was English, my
mother is Scotch, and I was born in Ireland;
and lived in the country until late in my teens,
when I went to England.

As a schoolboy in Dublin, of a volatile
nature, and with a Robinson Crusonian dis-
position for exploring, I knew Dublin and its
surroundings very well ; and I must say that



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SHOW WEEK IN DUBLIN. 9

after nearly twenty years' absence I found the
*'ould country" much as I left it, and this
was made evident to me on our journey from
Kingstown to Dublin, where I seemed to
recognize the same old bottles on the beach
that I pelted with stones in the days of my
youth, the same old cockle-women I used to
patronize, and the same old human relics of
the past that used to patronize me. Indeed,
John Leech's sketch of Westland Row Sta-
tion, where jarveys called the Saxon tourist
'* Captain," " Major," or '** Gineral," accord-
ing to the amount of luggage he possessed,
would be a fair illustration of the station of
today.



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lO FLYING VISITS.

I was disappointed on the journey up to
miss a well-known porter who was for many
years stationed at Blackrock. He was after-
ward moved to Salt Hill, but was in the
habit of going along the train, calling out,
'* Blackrock - Salt - Hill • oi - mane ! Blackrock -
Salt-Hill-oi-mane ! " I wonder was he there
in Leech's day ? But there was no mistaking
the *' Here y' are. Captain ; this is the kyar
for yez!" "Git along wid yez, shure the
Major's coming to me ! " " What are ye
blatherin' about, isn't it the Gineral himself
that's after knowin* Patsey O' Hooligan has
the natest little kyar in Dublin ? " and so on,
until we and our luggage are rescued by an
energetic porter.

It is a curious fact that in Ireland they
have a propensity supposed to be peculiar
to the American race ; viz., " booming." We
met an Irish "boomer" coming up in the
train.

" Shure ye'd be afther coming over to the
Harse Show, of coorse, and it's the foinest
show in the wur-rld intoirely. We've three
things in this counthry that can't be bate in
the woide, woide wur-rld — the foinest harse
show, the foinest brewery, and, in the North,



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SHOtV WEEK IN DUBLIN. II

we're turnin' out the foinest ships, altho' I
don't moind tellin' yez the shipbuilders ain't
Oirish at all, at all, and the Harse Show is
moore loike an English fair."

And, indeed, we're told from morning to
night that everything in the " ould counthry "
is the ** foinest intoirely."

Certainly the policemen are the '* foinest,"
but the English traveller must smile when he
is told there are not finer drivers than the
Irish jarveys — oh, shade of Selby ! — that the
Dublin shops are not to be '* bate anywhere "
— poor Shoolbred and Maple ! — that Irish-
women are the *' purtiest " in the world — what
does Jersey say ? But this is digression ; I
must leave general matters to my next chap-
ter, and in this confine myself to the Horse
Show — the great annual carnival of Dublin.

In days gone by the Horse Show was held
in Kildare Street, and was a quiet, modest
annual function ; now it has grown to be the
'* foinest" and most famous Horse Show in
the world, and is held at Balls Bridge, on the
banks of the river Dodder, a stream flowing
— no, not exactly flowing, but struggling —
through stones, old worn-out kettles, bottom-
less saucepans, and other cast-off" domestic



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12 FLYING VISITS.

Utensils, to say nothing of defunct domestic
pets. I can well recall this secluded spot in
days gone by, when it was frequented only by
fishers of kettles and other articles concealed
among this extensive heterogeneous collection,
but now all the world and his wife patronize
this district in the famous week, and multi-
tudes of bipeds and quadrupeds mingling
together fill the vast enclosures at Balls
Bridge. Tempora mutantuTy et nos ntutamur
in illis ! But I will leave these reminiscences
to the descriptive writer and moralist, and mix
with the crowd, sketch-book in hand.

It is strange that, even at a Horse Show,
one cannot get away from politics in Ireland,
as the following conversation, which took
place at the show this year, will demonstrate.
There was a horse in the jumping competition
named Balfour, and two ardent Nationalists
were looking on as the horse cantered up to
take the big stone-wall jump.

" Arrah, Moike, this horse is called Balfour,
bedad ! "

'* Shure, he'll be no good ; there's divil a
bit of jumping power in him at all, at all ! "

Balfour went for the difficulty, and dis-
placed a few small stones on top.



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SHOW WEEK IN DUBLIN. 13

"And wasn't Oi afther tellin' yez so?
he wint at it loike his own batthering
ram."

It so happened that very few horses in the
competition succeeded in doing so well as



Balfour, and the horse was trotted out with
two or three others to try conclusions a sec-
ond time, much to the disgust of my two
neighboring onlookers.

" Och, shure they'd throt him out agin ef
he wasn't to lave a shtone shtandin'. Just
watch him now, Moike."



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14 FLYING VJSns,

The horse tucked up his legs and cleared
the wall splendidly.

** Look at that now, why he's too ' cliver
fur us intoirely ! ' "

And yet they say, when I, in my
Humors of Parliament^ introduce a question
about a scarecrow, which an Irish member



suggests was mistaken purposely by the
police for a native of the Emerald Isle,
and shot accordingly, I am grossly exaggera-
ting.

The first horse to jump on the second day
was one entitled Jupiter, and belonged to a
friend of mine. Whether he was purposely
considerate of his fellow gee-gees, I don't



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SHOH^ WEEK IN DUBLIN. 1$

know ; but he went for that wall with an evi-
dent intention not to jump it, but to knock it



down, which he in a great measure succeeded
in doing, and it was interesting to note that
this soft place where Jupiter jumped was



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l6 FLYING VISITS,

selected for all the other horses
to try their prowess at.

Every horse's performance
was loudly greeted by an en-
thusiastic and fashionable crowd,
who were promenading round
the enclosure ankle - deep in
mud. Some had taken up their
positions on a seat by the wall,
veritable wall-



flowers, as
shown by my
sketch. The
horsey, the
clerical, the so-
ciety, the juve-
nile, and the
commercial element were all
represented, and in this case
placed on an equal footing
for once.

The Master of the Cere-
monies, Lord Rathdonnell,
was conspicuous by his
energy in waving two flags,
red and white, in the middle
of the arena. In strong con-



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SHOW WEEK IN DUBLIN. IJ

trast was another Lord R , the inheritor of

a famous telescope, who looked anything but a
sportsman ; and the familiar figure of a retired
military officer was very much en Evidence in

the ring. Some of the
other ring-masters
I shall give in my
next chapter. I am
disturbed in sketch-
ing them by a boy



calling out, ** Jumping pro-
grammes ! Jumping pro-
grammes ! " I asked him how a programme
jumps. That boy is still considering his reply,
and yet they say the Irish are sharp at repartee!



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Dublin.



My dear J/.,

Oh^ these Irish hotels I It is no wonder the
English traveller keeps away from this country^ pre-
ferrifig to spend his money elsewhere, where he can be
sure of cleanliness and something he can eat. You

know Mr. A , the ardent Gladstonian, who came

over here with his wife and family, instead of going
on the Continent ? No doubt it was the best thing he
could do to show his interest in the country. He went
to the principal hotel and sat down to dinner the night
they arrived; but the soup was untouchable, the fish
might have been fresh a month or so before he arrived,


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