Flying visits online

Aberdeen, " The Granite City," the sketch of
which accompanying this article was made
from the window of my apartment in the
hotel, in which room I was unfortunately con-
fined, as a visitation for being in the fashion
as far as contracting a bad cold is concerned.
The "Granite City" is well named, for it
looks as if the well-proportioned buildings
had been hewn out of one solid mass of stone.
To complete the picture, the masons were
hard at work remodelling the street ; and long



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2l8 FLYING VISITS.

lorries would pass my window at intervals,
each freighted with a heavy load of granite.
To be shut up in an hotel on a damp day is
hardly what one would select as the acme of
enjoyment, and your pleasure is not greatly
increased when your view is that of a railway,
with its shrieking and whistling, and shunting
and grunting, and puffing and blowing, always
depressing, no matter whether you happen to
be in the Granite City of the North, the busy
midland centres, or the great metropolis itself.
But the noises in the day time were nothing
to those at night. Oh, those bells ! those
bells ! When one lives in a town for any
time, one gets accustomed to the local mid-
night peals, and it is well known that the
townsman who goes to the country cannot
sleep at first because he misses the nocturnal
melodies which were wont to smite his ear;
but the traveller, passing rapidly from one
town to another, does not get a chance of
becoming acquainted with the various terrors
of midnight bell-ringing in store for him.

At Aberdeen I had retired to the warmth
of my sitting-room to nurse my cold, as soon
as I returned from my nightly exertions on the
platform, when I heard the first specimen of



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" THE GRANITE CITY:' 219

the chimes with which I had to contend during
the still watches of the night. I was about to
write a treatise on the evils of bell-ringing,
when from the floor below arose strange
sounds of Gaelic music, singing, and jingling
of glasses. On inquiry I was informed that
the festivities were in honor of the Belgian
bellringers. The waiter seemed very much
surprised that this information did not at once
convey to me all the explanation necessary,
but by dint of further questioning I elicited
the facts of the case. It appears that some
bells the Aberdonians had purchased from
Belgium did not meet with their unanimous
approval. Their most expert bellringers were
powerless to produce the proper tones, so the
Aberdonians had two Belgian bellringers
across to see what they could do with them.
They executed fantasias on them with ease ;
but even then the townspeople were not con-
vinced that the bells were sound. However,
whatever the ultimate upshot of it all was I
don't know, but I do know that these sounds
of revelry by night which proceeded from the
floor underneath mine were the result of a
banquet given to these gentlemen on their
departure.



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220 FLYING VISITS.

I had no opportunity of sallying forth in
search of the necessary ''copy" wherewith to
fill my allotted weekly space, so I must leave
the granite of the city alone, and limit myself
to dealing with the hospitality of the people.

I was particularly honored in this city of
the far North by a banquet given to me by the
members of the Pen and
Pencil Club. No
every week in the
papers banquet
character descr
sketched from tl
artist's point of
view, who illus-
trates the event
as he would a i
scene in a new ^
play ; but as the j
actor sees very i
differently, and
feels very differ-
ently, from the
audience, so do
the banqueters
view the event
from a different standpoint to the banquetee;



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'' THE GRANITE CITY:* 221

at least, this is what has always struck me
in my rather varied experience of this sort
of thing. It was particularly interesting to
me to be received in truly Scotch fashion,
and my sketches are framed partly on
what I actually experienced and partly on
what I dreamt after the banquet. The noble
chieftain, the chairman of the evening, who
received me, had an overawing effect, being as
he was of large proportions and clad in his
national costume, which was an agreeable
change from the conventional dinner dress.

The after - dinner
routine differed from
that of most other
gatherings of a 4^'



similar nature, inter- /
singing and recita- V ^^/NJ




spersed as it was with



tions ; and although
no doubt the Scotch
humorist was excru-
ciatingly funny, yet
the guest of the
evening was not
happy, for he knew that the time was drawing
near when he would have to interrupt the



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222 FLYING VISITS.

harmony with his more or less musical voice
upraised in speech, and the cKmax of his
discomfort was reached when the chairman
rapped the table, rose to his legs, and, in




eulogistic words, ascribed to the guest mani-
fold virtues which he had been hitherto
unaware that he possessed, and proceeded
to read the poetic outpourings of an
Aberdonian Tennyson; after which followed
more songs and recitations. No banquet,
supper, dinner, or any festivity on this side of



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THE GRANITE CITYr 223



the Tweed would be complete unless it was
brought to a conclusion by the singing of



'* Auld Lang Syne " ; and for one rather broad
in proportion to his height, it is rather a
difficult matter to make his arms stretch



across his chest so as he can grasp his neigh-
bors' hands. My first experience of this



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224 FLYING VISITS.

ordeal was at a banquet given to Mr. Henry
Irving in Glasgow, where it must have been
ludicrous in the extreme to see me linked
between the tall form of Mr. Irving and the
burly figure of Colonel Cody, better known as

-Buffalo Bill." I am
quite positive no artist
could do justice to the
feelings of one un-
f accustomed to the limb-
stretching proceeding,
and my dream of the
after-effects was some-
thing like the sketch I
give you here, '' Linked
arms, long drawn out ! "
However, I am de-
lighted in spirit and
none the worse in the
flesh for my most pleasant sojourn in the
home of hospitality, the *' Land o' Cakes."



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Aberdeen.



My dear J/.,

/ advise you to eschew all marmalade for
some time to come^ as I have just left Dundee in the
terrible clutches of la, grippe. It is a perfect plague ;
and if you want to be " up to snuff'''' zvhile travelling
in these infected districts^ my advice is^ take it.
Snuff taking is a horrible and atrocious habit no
doubt ^ but a celebrated medical man proved to me that
it is the greatest enemy to the influenza ; and I am
glad to say that with the aid of this prescription we
have sneezed at eucalyptus and quinine^ and have
safely braved the dangers which beset the home of
marmalade. There is a perfect panic in tite town,
which is fatal to all entertainments. Just fancy,
Paderewski was advised not to go there to fulfil his
engagement, as no one would venture out to hear him,
so he zvent to St, Andrezc/'s instead. His hair would



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226 FLYING VISITS.

have stood on end more than ever if he had ventured^
as I did^ into " Bonny Dundee^' which for the time
being is a perfect hospital ; in fact one of the papers
advised people to go to my show in ambulances if they
. . I were unable to get there any

other way.
\ % I have got such a %vr etched

cold that I did not feel at
all equal to the compli-
ment paid me by the worthy
AberdonianSy who to-night
gave a banquet in my honor.
It was a great success^ but
I wasn't. It has always been
my custom to speak extem-
pore ; but a few nights ago
I was sitting next to Irving at a banquet given to
him in Glasgow^ and I noticed that^ with his usual
artistic finish and tacty he read his speech^ and deliv-
ered it in that graceful way peculiarly his own^ so I
thought that I would imitate him as far as reading
my speech went ; but I shall never do so again^ as I
felt constrained^ and not at all at home as I usually
do. But dofCt you think it was enough to unnerve any-
one^ having to reply after such flattering verses as the
following had been recited^ particularly after giving
my entertainment two nights running on the top of a
severe cold ? —



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FLYING VISITS. 22/

" My fellow-sinnersy we are met to-night
To honor one — a bright and shining light —
Known through the universe as one who wields
A clever pencil in the comic fields ;
One who portraysy with hand both deft and swift ^
* The Humours of Parliament * — a gtft,
No matter where we look or where we turn^ is
The gift of none but genial Harry Furniss,

" Some think the Sketchisfs duty of to-day
Is beer and skittles, with a lot of play,
And that cartoons and comic sketches are
Flashed off precisely like a shooting star;
That comic sketchists daily they hob-nob
With fun, imagining that such a job
The happiesfs that* s found below the sun.
When 'tis in truth a melancholy one,

" To sketch cartoons within a given time,
To blend the funny with the grand sublime.
To place our statesmen in all forms and shapes.
As jockeys, lions, elephants, and apes,
And still to make their countenances true.
Is not a very easy thing to do;
To tackle the ideas of another.
Perhaps be called upon to slate a brother ;

" To sketch one's friends in every situation
Is not the most delightful occupation ;
But genius does accomplish such an end —
That genius is, I think, our guest and friend.
Though aye in * Punch,* he doesn't ' toady* to
Great Britain* s lights, but gives each one his * dew*
And with our statesmen weekly plays ' old Harry,*
But of all insults is * chary — very I '



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228 FLYING VISITS.

" And even when he limns the great Greek scholar,
He draws, hut raises not, old Gladstone's ^c holer 1 *
To beard the British Lion*s bad, of course.
But * bearding * Randy is a trifle worse !
Still this is done by * Bunch*s ' deft own liand,
Creating laughter all throughout the land ;
As people gaze upon his figures, marry,
They bless the name of * Parliamentary Harry ' / "

. . . As a matter of fact^ it %vas that awful
Professor who was the cause of my cold. Going over the

Tay Bridge
in the train,
^ I just peeped
'out of the
windozv to
see the scene
f / / 1^ r^ — " J J ofthememor-

v — ^^^ able accident ;

the Professor was leaning out of the window of an-
other compartment^ and all the way across the bridge he
kept me at the window, gesticulating to me and shout-
ing out a graphic description of the frightful disaster,
most of the revolting details of which, thank goodness^
were lost in the roar of the train. . . .

Yours, &c.,




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MY FIRST GLIMPSE OF -MODERN
ATHENS."



A Beautiful City— Statuary '*de trop"— Sir Walter Scott's
Monument — Prince Albert*s Statue — The Castle — Bil-
lings' Barracks — The One o'Clock Gun and its Effect —
Dinnertime for Thomas McAtkins — Young Edinburgh —
I View the City under Unfavorable Conditions.

FAIR Edinburgh, familiarly termed •* the
Modern Athens," no doubt shows to greater
advantage through being in such close proxim-
ity to her busy, commercial, overgrown sister,
Glasgow. I am glad to say that I have not
been disappointed in two beautiful cities, whose
charms have been eulogized again and again,
both by the pen of the poet and the pencil of
the artist. Venice I found as Turner had
painted her, and Edinburgh as beautiful as
imagination could portray ; but as a set
scene, to use a theatrical phrase, I must say
that it occurred to me that Edinburgh is rather
too profusely ornamented with monuments and
statuary ; in fact a humorous writer might well
be excused for comparing it to a gigantic cem-
etery; but this illusion is soon dispelled, for



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230 FLYING VISITS,

Edinburgh, both as regards the place and the
people, is brightness itself. Naturally enough,
as an artist I was attracted by this exhibition
of multitudinous statues and monuments. The



n

}



monument, of course, is that of the great Sir
Walter Scott, standing opposite St. David
Street. It is 200 feet high, the details are
borrowed from Melrose Abbey, and built from
a design by Mr. George Kemp ; it has been



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''MODERN ATHENS:' 23 1

braving the elements in this spot since 1840-4.

But, then, I have not much sympathy with the

over-elaboration of the stonemason. I think

that, particularly in

the case of a genius

like Sir Walter, a

monument of a less

orthodox description

might be erected to his

memory.

One tribute to the
dead that struck me
more than any other is
in the forest of Fon-
tainbleau. It is to the
memory of Millet and
his friend Rosseau, and
consists of two beauti-
fully - wrought medal-
lions, beaten into the
surface gf a huge, '
rugged rock, in the
centre of the country

so dear to both these ^

men. In Edinburgh there is a statue which
seems to have been erected in protest against
the prevailing conventionality. It is to the



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232 FLYING VISITS.

memory of Prince Albert. Poor Prince Albert !
Why was he so good, to be so caricatured by his
admirers after he had gone ? There is a statue
in Aberdeen where the poor Prince is collapsed
on a chair, evidently overpowered by his pon-
derous jack-boots. In Edinburgh the Prince



^
^



is seated on his horse, an animal of inquisitive
nature, for it is trying to peer down over the



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''MODERN ATHENS:' 233

top of the pedestal at some figures whose faces
are turned toward the base I admit I hadn't
time to find out who these people were, but I
was very much struc?^ ^" '^
middle-aged gentlen
his robes, standing (
by, a lady who
is pulling at a
bell she has
already broken,
a little child who
IS running away
with the bell-
rope ; while the
other figures, ' — . i
representing

sailors, working men, and others, seem rather
disappointed at not being able to find any
pegs to hang their wreaths upon. But this
is hypercritical. Of course, very few statues can
bear being scrutinized from all points of view
without presenting some ridiculous feature or
other ; and it is just the same with the im-
pressive structures. The Castle, which, to
quote the guide book, " crowns a precipitous
greenstone rock rising to an altitude of 445
feet above sea level," is as familiar to the



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234 FLYING VISITS,

Scotch as the dome of St. Paul's is to the
Southron. A good many people have en-
deavored from time to time to add to its
beauties, but it was reserved for one Billings
(good old Billings !) to erect barracks of a
similar description to those usually found in
toy boxes of Teutonic manufacture. Could
not someone improve upon Billings ? Perched
on the summit of the Castle, I was meditating
upon this point, when suddenly I was knocked



off my perch by the terrific report of a cannon.
The clock struck one, and I ran down, Mac-



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''MODERN Athens:' 235

Dickory, dickory, dock ! Having somewhat
recovered from this terrible shock, and follow-



s*



ing the example of ninety per cent, of the good

•people of Edinburgh, having set my watch, I

took rest on the second stage and was making

a sketch of the battlements I had so quickly



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236 FLYING VISITS,

descended, when, to my dismay, I saw a
detachment of the kilted warriors of Scotland
coming with marvellous rapidity down the
precipitous steps. I had been awed and a
little unnerved by reading about the imprison-
ment of the Earl of Argyle and principal Car-
stairs, and, perhaps, half dreaming of Billings,
and I thought that the one o'clock gun had
some deadly effect, and that barbaric acts of
cannibalism were about to be enacted within
the walls of Edinburgh Castle, for each son of
Mars bore in his hands a large steaming dish.
My fears were allayed, however, when I dis-
covered that this was " Tammas Mc Atkins' "
midday meal.

Some people seem to have an idea that the
Scotch are a phlegmatic race. Let me at once
undeceive them. Chance brought before me in
an authentic and forcible way that the Scotch
have a grievance, a grievance which they feel
keenly, and which, sooner or later, will be made
of national importance ; probably Cabinets
will be shaken to their foundation, and, perhaps,
even a civil war will occur if the matter is not
investigated and rectified very soon. It is no-
less an injustice, not to say an insult, to the
Scotch, that in the Royal Arms used in Govern-



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''MODERN ATHENS^'



217



ment departments, principally at South Ken-
sington, the Shamrock has ousted the Thistle

from its accus-
tomed place.
No wonder
Unionism is in-
creasing over the
border. Why
not alter the
Royal Arms, and





have two lions rampant in-
stead of one ?

It would require the pen
of the poet and the brush
of the painter to fittingly
describe the charms of the
female portion of the resi-
dents of the Caledonian
capital. To see the young
girls hurrying home from school with free,
masculine strides, cheery faces, and flowing



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238 FLYING VISITS.

locks, demonstrates clearly to the English ob-
server that the robust blood of the hardy Scot-
tish race is far from losing any of its ancient
prestige. Princes Street, the promenade of all
Edinburgh, is fairly alive with bevies of pretty
girls of all ages and sizes, and on a fine after-
noon outrivals Regent Street or the King's
Road at Brighton.

It seems a thousand pities that the beauty
of the picturesque valley lying parallel to
Princes Street should be desecrated by the
smoke and the noise of the railway. The in-
habitants fought hard to prevent the iron king
from storming their town and claiming the.
charming valley as his own, but I believe that,
unless balloon voyages had been practicable,
the valley is the only channel for the vast flow
of current traffic.

*' Never put off till to-morrow what can be
done to-day" is a maxim, the truthfulness of
which I now fully appreciate. I was anxious
to make a sketch of Princes Street from the
valley, but at the time I had selected for this
operation I found fair Edinburgh town en-
veloped in a thick mist which blurred her face
all the rest of the time I was there. It is
not fair to judge a beauty when you meet



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''MODERN ATHENS:' 239

her on a cold winter's day, wrapped in
furs, with red and frost-bitten nose, mud-
bespattered dress, and hair dishevelled by
the wind ; it is better to wait till you can see
her in becoming summer garb, with sunny



smiles and graces : neither is it right to criti-
cise a town in weather that is wet and misty,
so I shall certainly revisit this charming city
under more genial atmospheric conditions,
when the valley is fresh and verdant, when the
trees are clothed in their summer foliage, and
the sun shines upon ** Modern Athens."



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GlasgoTV.

My dear M.y

When I arrived in this city I went up to
the bookstall at the railway station to buy a copy of
the " Bailie " and the " Evening NewSy"" when a Glas^
gow friend^ ivhom I had previously met in London^
rushed up to me frantically^ and cried : " Take mine I
take mine ! " giving me his newspapers ; " but don't
buy at that stall; the proprietor of it is the Mac-
dougall of Glasgow^ and we buy our papers outside
now'' And then he went on to tell me of the partial
boycotting of this newsvendor for trying to introduce
some absurd new (and original) Police Act, in which
some of the clauses were simply ridiculous. If you
happen to meet your aunt from the country and shake
hands with her in a public thoroughfare^ the police
have a right to arrest you, and you are liable to nine



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FLYING VISITS. 241

months' imprisonment ivith hard labor. If you ac-
cidentally wink at a policeman^ he can knock you
dowTiy and displace not less than five of your front
teeth with his foot or his truncheon. Should you curl
your moustache while walking in the public streets^
the police are at perfect liberty to arrest you ^ drag you
off to the nearest
barber's and
have your head
and your hirsute
adornments
shaved at your
own expense. If
you happen to
merely look at a
public 'house or
restaurant^ you

are to be thrown into the first mud-cart that comes
alongy and with its contents to be fiung into oblivion
forever. I make a mental resolution to disguise my-
self^ to only slink about in back streets^ 'and not to at-
tempt to make a single sketch here.

It is rather curious that one is let down into Glas-
gow as into the shaft of a pit, by a chain which is at-
tached to the front of your train, and which chants
sweet monotonous melody to you as you descend the in^



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242 FLYING VISITS.

cline^ gknng you a sample of tlu noise which never
leaves you as long as you remain in the busy city of
the North,

What's in a name ? Everything^ if it happens to
be the name of a hotel. You knozv^ it is my custom
always to walk to the hotel we are going to stay aty
leaving Mac to follow on in a cab with the luggage.
The hotel we were booked to stay at was certainly one
of tlu best known in Glasgow ^ and was situated in a
most prominent position. I liad the name of it care-
fully written down on a piece of paper y so that there
should be no mistake : but after asking halfa-dozen
policemeny a dozen shopkeepers^ and a score of the
most intelligent-looking of the passers-by ^ and finding
they all shook their headsy I began to fear that I
should never find either Mac or my rooms ; so I hailed
a cab and told the driver to go to the Windmill Hotels
where I had engaged rooms. ^^ Aa dinna ken nae
hoose ccUd the Windmill at a'," was all he said. I
was almost giving up my search in despair when to
my delight I saw a cab dash round a corner in front
of mcy bearing a pile of luggage which I recognized
as my own, with Mac on the box-seat. Now Pm all
right y I thought y but the cab was too far away to haily
so I had to chase it ; but a stern chase ^ as everybody
knows, is a long one, so I had to travel a considerable



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FLYING VISITS. 243

distance at a most unwonted rate of speed before ar-
riving at the hotel in a most exhausted condition;
when I found the establishment was not widely knozvn
as " The Windmill^^ which name was comparatively
neWy but as " Macduff's Hotels' hence my difficidty in
finding it. . . .

Here in Glasgow I am reminded of Sheffield^ the
gloom of the place contrasting with the brightness
of the people^ judging at least from those of the pop-
ulace who come to the Queen's Rooms to /tear me at
night. ...

• • • / am afraid we shall lose the Professor be*
fore we leave here^ as the courtly y or as he might be
called^ the EarVs-Courtlyy Buffalo Bill is here with
his famous Wild West Show, and the Professor spends
all his spare time in the campy revelling' in gruesome
tales of Indian warfare y night- at tacksy blood-thirsty
massacresy etc.y and I am dreading that he will turn
up to manipulate the lantern some evening attired in
the garb of a brave on the warpath. I hardly think
it would tend to increase my audiences I

Yours, etc.y




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THE QUEEN OF THE SOUTH.



\



Three to One — Burns Mania — Window-pane Verses — Burns
Going to the Dogs — The Two Markets — ^A Scotch Rus-
sian — An Ex-M.P. — Only a Face at the Window — Old
Mortality and His Pony — The Observatory Garden.

THE stranger entering Dumfries from the
railway station, seeing its narrow and poorly-
paved streets, not very enticing-looking shops,
and less-enticing hotels, would consider the

above heading an
utter misnomer,
and if first im-
pressions are
everything, then
one has nothing
to say in justifi-
cation of this
regal title ; never-
/ theless this is
' what the ancient
burgh is popularly
termed. Queens
of the South
might be better
understood ; for I am informed that in Dumfries



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THE QUEEN OF THE SOUTH 245

there are three women to every man, and fine
strapping specimens of the Scotch lassie they
are too.

Passing up toward the Observatory, it is
made evident to you that Dumfries has a
distinct artistic character of its own ; and