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Ind.) Concordia College (Fort Wayne.

The Pioneer (Volume yr.1915) online

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through ?"

W. Storm : "Why — er — "
Prof: "Through the wire, ex-
actly."

A Sexty's description of the hu«
man body:

The human body is divided into
three parts, the head, the chest, and
the stomach. The head contains the
brains, if any; the chest contains
the lungs, the heart and the liver;
the stomach contains the bowels,
which are five: A, E, I, 0, U."

Waiter in a restaurant: "I heard
you have been kicking at the flies
around here."

Customer: 'Tis false. I merely
brushed them aside."

Professor: "The three extant
busts of Pericles are provided with
a helmet in order to hide the length
of his head, which is quite out of
proportion."

Scaer: "I think I'll wear a nose-
guard."

Rehm, Scaer, Fischer is the man-
ner in which these three fellows
were called to order by the pro-
fessor.



Heinicke: "I had my picture
taken today."

Sullivan: "Who in the world
would take a thing like that."

First Farmer: "Do you know
how to keep a dog from barking at
night?"

Second Farmer: "Sure. Kill
him in day time."

Father : "Son, can't you possibly
cut down your college expenses?"

Son: "I might possibly do with-
out my books."

An old darky was convinced that
a bill rendered him by his butcher
was not correct. He complained to
the butcher who said: "Sam, fig-
ures don't lie."

"Ah know dat," said Sam, "but
liars do figure."

Schmidt: "Say, Rudy, have you
forgotten that you owe me a quar-
ter?"

Frank: "No, not yet. Please,
give me time to forget it."

Prof: "You remind me of a
story Abe Lincoln used to tell about
a steamboat that had a five-pound
boiler and a seven-pound whistle.
Every time the whistle blew the en-
gine stopped. Every time some of
you fellows open your mouth you
stop thinking."

Prof: "Only fools are certain;
wise people hesitate."

Rehm: "Are you sure?"
Prof: "Whv, of course, abso-
lutely certain."

Indignant wife : "I wonder wha f
you would have done had you lived
when men were first compelled to
earn their bread by the sweat of
their brows."

Indolent Husband : "I should
have started a little notion store
and sold handkerchiefs, so that they
could wipe off their sweat."



87




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a



QUALITY
LAUNDERING"

For All Washables

Steam Heated "Non-Scorch" Machinery.

Cold Starching of Shirts.

Makes Pliable Yet Lasting Finish.

Collars Moulded Into Shape.
Family Washing Unexcelled.

BANNER LAUNDERING
COMPANY

PHONE 165

Queen Bee

Wafers

The Wafer of Quality

Manufactured by

The Craig Biscuit
Company

Fort Wayne, Indiana



89



The Schiefer
Shoe Store


Order

Hartzell

Ice
Cream

Delicious
Nutritious
Healthful

Manufactured in
Fort Wayne, Ind.


108 EAST COLUMBIA
STREET


Try our shoes for everyday
wear, dress wear, or athletic
wear— You'll find they look
best, wear best, and feel best,
because they are best.


H. H. HARTWIG


A Quartaner had sent home a per-
fect school report in the first semes-
ter, but his marks took a tremen-
dous slump in the second semester.
His father viewed the second one
with evident disapproval.

"How is this, son?" he asked.

"Professors' fault," answered the
boy.

"How is it the professors' fault?"
he asked.

"They moved the boy that sat
next to me."


Baade-
Wyneken Co.

Books and
Stationery

926 Calhoun Street
FORT WAYNE, INDIANA


Wood Tex Wall Board

the only wood wall board

made.
Flexoid Rubber Roofing

last a lifetime.
Pullman Tires

lasts almost as long.

FISHER BROTHERS
PAPER COMPANY



90




NEARLY all selling ef-
tort is an effort to create
friendly public regard for
goods made by unfriendly
labor. 1 he Packard Piano Company
has laid down the foundation for its
success deep in the hearts of its own
men. Public good-will runs to meec
the product which is made under such
conditions, because that product is bet-
ter than one made under any other
conditions possibly can be. The suc-
cess of THE PACKARD PIANO
is, in many ways, unpara led in the
entire history of piano making. The
whole secret of Packard success is to
share its sucess-— first with all the
men who make the Packard Piano —
then with the public. Your share is
the surplus value in a piano made
that way.

The first step in sharing the Pack-
ard success is to hear the Packard Pi
ano at your local dealer's.



Upright Pianos
Player Pianos



Miniature Grands
Concert Grands



The Packard Piano
Company

FORT WAYNE, INDIANA




If there is no harmony in the
factory, there will be none in
the Piano.



Dr.T. C. Wyneken



DENTIST



People's Trust Building



"I heard you were arrested for
speeding,"
"I was."

"What did the judge say?"
"Fine."



Prof: "Name some animals of
Russia."

Wohlert: "Musk-ox."
Prof: "Correct. Another?"
Wohlert: "Moscow."

As the train neared the city the
colored porter approached the jov-
ial-faced gentleman, saying with a
smile:

"Shall I brush you off, sah?"
"No," he replied, "I prefer to get
off in the usual manner."



stop



Paterfamilias: "Tommy,
pulling that poor cat's tail."

Tommy: "I'm not pulling it, pa.
I'm only holding on to it. The cat's
pulling it."



Patronize

The
Stationery



91



Compliments of

Perfection Biscuit Company

Fort Wayne, Ind.



A man left his umbrella in the
stand in a hotel with a card bearing
the following inscription: "This
umbrella belongs to a man, who can
deal a blow of 250 pounds. He will
be back in ten minutes."

On returning to seek his prop-
erty, he found in its place a card
thus inscribed : "This card was left
by a man, who can run twelve miles
an hour. He will not be back."



KOEHLINGER'S

Up-to-the-Minute Cut-Rate Drug Store

>01 East Washington St., Fort Wayne, Indiana Phone 171



Always Remember That We Appreciate Your Patronage



n




Now Really Is It

worth while to buy a poor quality of an article
like a razor, a pair of scissors, a carving set, etc ,
that is likely to last a life time ? If you buy our
quality, you'll never need another. Of course, it
would pay us better to sell cheap goods over and
over to the same customers — but that's not our
policy. PAY US A VISIT SOON.

C. C. Schlatter & Co.

Columbia and Clinton Streets



H. W. Meiruen

Drugs and Chemicals
Prescriptions a Specialty



1129 Maumee Ave., Fort Wavne, Indiana



Phone 426



"Is it true," asked Sally, "that the
blind can determine color by the
sense of touch?"

"Sure," said James, "I once knew
a blind man who could tell a red-
hot stove just by putting his finger
on it."

Lady: "Why do you keep your
hat on when you wash?"

Tramp : " 'Cause I'm baldheaded
and there ain't no telling where my
face stops."



One great feature toward success in any business— -Courtesy
— Honesty in All Dealings — Right Prices — Give the Very
Best for the Money — Do the Best You Can to Keep Your
Customers and Your Customers Will Keep You.



FT. WAYNE



HARDWARE&SPORTIMG GOODS

PHONE 204 C O M P AN Y6I2 CALHOUNST.

Ask Concordia Boys About Us




Lincoln Highway

CIGARS

Now Packed In Both
Tin and Wood

Just the thing for
Your Motor Trip

25 to the Tin
WAYNE

TOBACCO CO.


THE LIVE

STORE

THE YOUNG
MEN'S STORE

SmartSuits, Hats, Furnishings,
Quality, Value, and Styles.

HEADQUARTERS FOR
CONCORDIA MEN

Barker-Rose Co.




F. Schanz's

New Studio

For High Grade Photos At All Prices

CALL AND SEE THEM
309-311 Washington Boulevard West

Two Squares From Calhoun



94



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th* Electric City Engraving Co.

B UFFALO, N.Y.



WE MADE THE ENGRAVINGS FOR THIS BOOK.



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The Charaplin Press, maters of this book, print MORE College
Catalogs, Annuals, Views Bulletins and Calendars, than any
other print-shop. Write for samples, prices and references.
Established 1893. Assets $90,000.



THIS INSERT IS PRINTED ON THE CENTRAL OHIO

PAPER CO.S. 32x44-120 GREEN EUCLID

SEMI-DULL ENAMEL.



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Online LibraryInd.) Concordia College (Fort WayneThe Pioneer (Volume yr.1915) → online text (page 5 of 5)