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Irving David Steinhardt.

Ten sex talks to girls (14 years and older) online

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an irritable bladder by having a constant desire to
urinate. This early and frequent desire to empty
the bladder does not mean that anything is wrong
with the bladder or kidneys ; it is due merely to in-
creased pressure within the pelvis which, of course,
affects the bladder.

If she was formerly constipated, she is more so
now; and if her bowels were regular before, she is
inclined now to be constipated. This condition must
be corrected at once, and must be guarded against
throughout her pregnancy and, in fact, at all other
times. If not promptly relieved, it only adds to the
pain, and the danger of infection and lacerations
during labor.



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The general appearance of the wife shows al-
teration at this time, which may appear in one of two
ways. In some women there is general and marked
improvement, whereas in others the face is greatly
changed for the worse. Usually this is merely tem-
porary in either case, and the husband finds he has
the same looking wife that he married, with the ad-
ditional beauty which comes with motherhood.

These are probably about all of the signs that the
wife will notice early, and they are sufficient for her
purposes. What signs the doctor's examination will
reveal when she consults him would be foreign to
our talks, so I will not detail them here.

As the baby develops within the womb, other
changes are apparent to the mother-to-be, one of
the most impleasant of which is the so-called " morn-
ing sickness." This is a feeling of nausea, often
accompanied by vomiting, occurring most often in
the morning upon arising from bed, but continuing
§pmetimes throughout the day. This may come on
at any time from about the fifth week of pregnancy,
and usually lasts only until the twelfth week. Some
women, however, are so unfortimate as to have this
" sea sickness " last much longer.

This is rather a distressing time for the ex-
pectant mother, for it is hard to have a good ap-
petite, and with it a stomach which will not allow
you to eat ; it seems a dreadful waste of time to eat,



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SEX TALKS TO GIRLS 151

only to vomit immediately all that you have swal-
lowed, even before you have finished whatever food
you were taking. It is a most peculiar state of
affairs. The mere mention of the word " food " is
enough to make some pregnant women vomit; in
other words, the sight or smell of food, either raw
or cooked, makes the stomach reject its contents.
While pregnant, many women can eat at a restaurant
and retain their food, yet cannot eat at all at home.'
Others will eat the strangest articles of food and
digest them, whereas their stomachs will reject their
usual articles of diet. Some will practically escape
this unpleasantness altogether, while with others it
lasts almost throughout the pregnancy period. All
come through it safely, however, and if under the
care of a physician he will help them a great deal.

All of you have heard that, with the coming of
children, the mother's teeth suffer; this is not true.
With proper care, the expectant mother can prevent
this unfortunate occurrence. The first thing to do
is to see that the digestive organs are in good order,
thereby making the digestion good, the bowels reg-
ular, and the teeth and mouth clean and free from
an acid reaction. The next thing to do is to supply
nourishment to the teeth to take the place of that
formerly furnished, but which is now needed for the
development of the unborn child.

Here, again, is another advantage of early med-



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152 SEX TALKS TO GIRLS

ical care. The doctor regulates the digestion and
the bowels, and also prescribes the necessary medica-
tion for the teeth. It is taken for granted that the
woman's own habits of cleanliness will make her
clean her teeth and wash her mouth at least once
every day. If the doctor discovers she does not, he
orders this needful hygiene of the mouth.

You have all probably heard that the veins of the
lower extremities are liable to enlarge at this time,
and that piles may be expected as the developing
child grows within the womb. These two things
also are preventable by proper measures. They are
due to the increased pressure within and to any con-
stipation which may exist. If additional support be
given to the veins liable to be affected, and constipa-
tion be guarded against, the chances are that no bad
results will follow.

As the waistline increases in circumference be-
cause of the enlargement of the womb and its con-
tents, the clothes of the wife must be made larger
and more comfortable, for compression of the body
is harmful in many ways. It may cause a miscar-
riage, or the unborn child may be forced into a bad
position within the womb, or it may even cause the
womb itself to become displaced. Either of the
latter conditions will necessarily complicate the de-
livery of the child when it comes into the world.
The wife must always bear in mind that the womb —



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SEX TALKS TO GIRLS 153

which I described to you in my first talk — ^must en-
large from the tiny little organ that it is in both the
virgin and the resting states to a size somewhat
larger than the new-born baby, because, besides hold-
ing the fully developed child, it must hold also the
wrappings which entirely envelop the baby, as well
as the fluid in which it is contained, and this amounts
to several quarts.

When the pregnant wife places herself under the
advice of the doctor of her choice he will instruct
her how to care for and prepare her breasts and
nipples. Every normal mother wants to nurse her
child if she possibly can, and proper preparation of
the breasts for this function helps her and prevents
such things as sore or cracked nipples, fissures, etc.

I have just told you that every normal woman
wants to nurse her baby if she can. Why ? Because
the food that Mother Nature puts into the female
breasts is the best food for any baby. It contains
everything that the baby needs in the most important
days of its life in the way of food and drink. It
is the food "par excellence" for infants. When
you consider what the growth and development of
the baby are during the first nine months of its life
this seems a most wonderful food, and any mother
should be proud of the fact that she can give to her
offspring this most wonderful of nutriments. And
yet the doctor often has actually to almost quarrel



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154 SEX TALKS TO GIRLS

with his patient to induce her to nurse her baby,
because it interferes with her pleasure. Baby feed-
ing will be discussed in a later talk, so I will say no
more now, except that I hope none of you, on at-
taining the dignityof motherhood, will be practically
forced to nurse your baby, should nature have pro-
vided you with the means therefor.

The expectant mother must avoid over-exerting
herself, either in the pursuit of her daily household
duties or in pleasures. Missteps resulting in a sud-
den stumble areivery serious because of their lia-
bility to dislodge. the contents of the womb, and
cause a premature birth. Likewise straining or
stretching, rough pleasures, . jumping, jolting, or
bouncing are to be avoided, as these things also may
bring on a miscarriage.

During the ante-birth period besides seeing that
the bowels are regular the action of the kidneys must
be watched, and the appearance and quantity of the
urine carefully noted. In this stage, the kidneys
have to carry off the waste material not only of the
mother but of the unborn child also, for you must
bear in mind that the imbom child is a living being,
having the same functions as any other living being.
If the kidneys, therefore, for any reason, fail to work
properly, the poisonous waste of the two bodies
is retained within the system of the mother, often
with fatal consequences to both mother and child.



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SEX TALKS TO GIRLS 155

Let me explain this a little further to you, so that
you will understand it better. There are several
ways in which the body gets rid of its waste mate-
rial. The lungs throw off some, the perspiration
eliminates some, the bowels remove a little ; contrary
to what you may have thought, the excretion from
the bowel is mostly undigested food and the residue
of food the digestable part of which the body has
taken for its nourishment. The kidneys are the
main sewers of the body and they throw off most of
the body waste dissolved in the urine. You can real-
ize, therefore, that a failure on the part of the urine
to do this, through a breakdown or impairment of
the kidney-secreting tissue, means that much waste
material is being held in the body and is poisoning it.
With these poisons circulating through her blood,
the mother becomes affected, and as it is from her
blood that the baby's blood draws its supply of
nourishment for the unborn child, you see there is
real danger for the baby also.

The watching of the kidney function, therefore,
is another and very important reason why early
medical attention is advisable, and some time in the
future when you are pregnant my suggestion should
be followed by you. By making frequent examina-
tions of the urine, the doctor knows how things are
going. He also tells his patient of certain signs
upon the occurrence of which he wants to be notified



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156 SEX TALKS TO GIRLS

at once, so that, if he deems it necessary, he can
make additional urinary examinations, give medica-
tion, or regulate her diet. Some of these signs are
dizziness, headaches, trouble with the eyesight, nau-
sea, and vomiting, the passing of less urine or a very
marked increase in the amount ; there are also several
others.

As the time of motherhood approaches, our little
wife becomes less inclined to go out and take exer-
cise. Her reasons are usually two — ^the increased
weight and pressure within, and her personal appear-
ance. But she must have exercise — in moderation,
of course.

The first reason for her disinclination can be
overcome by slow walking on level ground. Her
second reason, due to a feeling of modesty, is foolish.
No woman who has become pregnant under proper
circumstances need be ashamed of her coming
honor. Everyone is not going to look at her as she
imagines, nor make unpleasant comments upon her
appearance and its portent. Many a woman who
has been denied the privilege of motherhood would
gladly exchange with her for the same reward. I
do not say that there are no places where the ex-
pectant mother should not go, but my reasons are
as much medical as anything else. The influence of
any action of the mother or father on the unborn
child must always be considered. In taking exercise



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SEX TALKS TO GIRLS 157

of any kind, however, whether work or play, our
little wife should always stop just short of fatigu-
ing herself, for this would be harmful.

Under the wise and sympathetic direction of her
chosen medical attendant, who watches carefully
over her in every way, guarding her against both
lack of food and too much food, our wife approaches
the time for the advent of " their " child, anxiously
awaiting that moment when she can show her hus-
band this living triumph of their mutual love and
its gratification in the sacred and holy bonds of mat-
rimony. She is not afraid of her approaching
motherhood, because she knows that mdtherhood is
a natural fimction following her promotion to wife-
hood, and she wants this emblem of honor — smother-
hood — to be hers.

While she is waiting for "their" child to be
born, like every mother-to-be, she is planning a fu-
ture for it; and, if she has been careful in the choice
of her husband, she is now doubly happy about it,
for she considers how much better her baby will be
owing to her care in the selection of its father. And,
oh, what a relief it is to her mind if she knows that
her husband is free from any venereal taint ! For
then she need not worry about the possible effects of
venereal disease upon her baby, nor has her preg-
nancy been made more irksome to her by having had



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to take unpleasant medicines in order to protect the
offspring from inheriting some venereal taint.

You see, when there is any suspicion in the doc-
tor's mind that husband or wife has a syphilitic taint
in the blood, he endeavors to protect the unborn
child from this poison by giving curative medicines
to the mother during the ante-birth period. If hus-
band or wife suspects that either of them has ever
had this disease, no matter how lightly, the doctor
should be told of it, so that he can judge whether
protective measures for the coming offspring are
necessary. Even unnecessary medication is pref-
erable to having a child born with a syphilitic taint.

REVIEW

I. State in detail why an expectant mother should have
a medical advisor as early as possible.

II. Why is it advisable for both husband and wife to under-
stand changes of temperament, ideals, appetite, etc.,
in the expectant mother?

III. What is the ideal life for an expectant mother to lead —

and what are its advantages, (a) to mother (b)
to child?

IV. What are the early signs of expectant motherhood?
V. What are the later ones?

VI. What are the added dangers of constipation at this time?
VII. Why must tight fitting clothes, or in fact an)rthing tight,

be avoided by the expectant mother?
VIII. How does the body get rid of its waste?
IX. Describe the importance of the function of the kidney
in general and its particular importance during
pregnancy.
X. Why must the kidney function be carefully watched
during pregnancy ?



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IX

Now we skip an interval — that of the birth of
the child and what goes with it — ^and take up child
management. We will not go into every detail, for
that I shall leave to my other series, which follows
this, on the care of the child from infancy to mar-
riage.

The management of a child begins at birth, and
if you institute it properly you will be saved many
miserable hours of discomfort and disturbed rest in
the future. Babies can be made sources of great
pleasure and happiness, or little tyrannical disturbers
of the peace, quiet, and good tempers of the house-
hold, not to mention the neighborhood. They are
very easily spoiled, and are quick to learn whether
they can impose upon those around them. You can
all realize, therefore, the great necessity of proper
training, and the earlier that training is instituted
the better for all concerned, including the baby.
You laugh when I say including the baby, but I
state a fact, for it will save baby many a slap or
spanking when somebody's temper is lost because
the untrained baby is raising trouble.

You might think it a hard task to train a baby
to any definite programme in life, but if such is

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your idea, you are entirely in error. Nothing is
easier, if undertaken in the right way. Once having
made up your mind to the fact that a well-trained
baby is far better than one which is otherwise, do
not let neighborly baby experts, or supposed ones,
turn you from what you have set out to do. The
rules are alike for the babies of the rich and poor,
the only difference being that, carried out in the
babies of the rich their health and the nurses* well-
being and comfort are promoted, whereas with the
poor the mother of the baby gets the benefit as well
as baby. And here is a strange feature of it all ; the
mother who has no hired help to assist her in her
daily household work, and who, therefore, most
needs a definite plan of management for her baby,
is the very one who fails to profit by the advantage
of having a systematic daily programme for the
baby. She objects, because she thinks it would be
too hard to carry out, as if a slipshod or hit-and-
miss way of doing things were not much harder,
both mentally and physically.

First, let us discuss baby's feeding and sleeping,
as they usually go hand in hand. Baby needs food
more or less often, the exact interval varying with
its age and development — ^and the latter part of this
statement is of great importance. The younger the
baby and the less its development, the more often
should it be fed, but these intervals should be grad-



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SEX TALKS TO GIRLS 161

ually lengthened, as the baby grows older and is
better developed until we finally come down to the
customary three meals a day. These intervals be-
tween, and the number of feedings a day, are the
same for both breast-fed and bottle-fed babies. The
amount of food required by a baby, both as to quan-
tity and strength, is decided, not by the baby's actual
age, but by the degree of its development. It is
better slightly to underfeed a baby than to over-
feed it.

The usual interval between feedings for a new-
bom baby, and up to the sixth or eighth week of life,
is two hours during the day, and four hours during
the night; in other words, only one feeding between
ten o'clock at night and six o'clock in the morning.
You can readily see the comfort which such a rule
or programme affords for all concerned; it means
practically an unbroken night's rest for both mother
and baby. Is it worth while? Just ask some one
who has tried both methods, the wrong one first,
and then the right one. The emphasis they will put
into their " Yes " will remove all doubt.

But, you ask, how can we tell the baby that we
want it to do things in this way? To talk to it and
to make it understand are, of course, impossible.
But we have an easier way. We train the baby to
this routine by the very simple method of deciding
at what hours it shall be fed, hours which must be
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162 SEX TALKS TO GIRLS

the same every day, and then offering it food at these
times only, waking the baby up for its feedings
should it be sleeping. Soon you will observe that
baby is more reliable than the clock, and is awake
right on the minute for its food. Of course, while
baby is being trained to this programme, a few
" squally '' days may be encountered, but if started
at birth there is no difficulty.

Now, our powers of observation have taught us
that babies have long and short periods of sleeping,
and thus we can arrange for the long sleeps at night.
The frequency of the day feedings prevents baby
from getting prolonged sleep during the day, so, by
being undisturbed at night, he gets two long periods
of sleep. My instructions to my patients are, always
let the baby sleep as long as he will after the last
(or ten o'clock) feeding, and in a very short time
most babies sleep the entire night through without
any " midnight supper.'' When a mother does all
of her housework alone, it is a great help to know
just what hours she can count upon as being her
own, and then she can plan her duties accordingly.
She knows when she will have to attend to her baby,
and when he will be sleeping.

As a baby grows older it sleeps less, but we must
not let its daytime naps be so long as to interfere
with its sound sleep at night. The feeding schedule
should always be arranged so that the first feeding of



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SEX TALKS TO GIRLS 163

the day will be between six and seven o'clock in the
morning, and the last feeding at night somewhere
between ten and eleven o'clock.

The usual feeding intervals, according to age and
development, are two hours from birth to the eighth
week ; two and a half hours from the eighth to the
twelfth week; three hours, usually, from the third
to the sixth or seventh month ; three and a half hours
from the seventh until the ninth or tenth month ; and
four hours until about a year or fifteen months old.
After this age I usually put the baby on three meals
a day, with the heaviest meal, of course, in the middle
of the day.

In using the above schedules, always remember
that a child is fed by its age and development, and
not by its age in days or months alone. If a baby
seems to want it, I allow one so-called midnight
feeding until the child is six months old. If the child
does not awaken, it shows the extra feeding is not
needed, so I order that it be stopped. The ten
o'clock, or late evening, feeding I permit for a few
months longer but do not urge it upon the child, and
stop it immediately if the baby shows no wish for it.
You need not be afraid to awaken a sleeping baby
at its feeding times, popular opinion to the contrary,
notwithstanding. Soon it will get into the habit of
awaking at these hours. I mention this fact because
of an old superstition that it is wrong to awaken a



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164 SEX TALKS TO GIBLS

sleeping baby, that it should always be permitted to
wake up naturally. If this were a fact, we should
have to change materially the customs of our cities.
It is perfectly true, however, that it is better to
awaken the sleeping infant without shock or excite-
ment, but that is easily accomplished.

Until a baby is about nine months of age the only
proper food for it, whether breast-fed or artificially-
fed, is milk. Remember this, and heed it when you
are mothers. Preach it to every mother you know,
Stomach disorders come from improper food, and
under this heading come spoiled food and other
things which are not food, but rather poison, so far
as babies go. I refer to candy, melons, soda water,
etc. Oh, yes! Some people are silly enough to
attempt to give these things to infants.

There is no food so good or so safe for the young
infant as that which Mother Nature puts into the
mother's breasts. Good mother's milk is the food
" par excellence " for the baby. It contains every-
thing the infant needs for its development, mental
and physical, and breast-fed infants are likely to
excel the bottle-fed. It behooves every mother,
therefore, to nurse her offspring if possible, and if
she finds she can do so, to thank God for the bless-
ing. It saves her from much worry, and promotes
the baby's health and happiness.

But even breast milk may injure a baby if the



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SEX TALKS TO GIRLS 165

mother does not take proper care of herself and keep
her milk fit for the baby's digestion. Too rich a
milk will give the baby colic, diarrhoea, and vomiting.
Too poor a milk will keep him from thriving, even
though the quantity be large. In fact, if it is not soon
ascertained that the milk is too poor in quality, the
baby will suffer from it, this even leading to maras-
mus or starvation. It is easy, however, to keep
breast milk in proper condition. The mother should
lead a quiet, even, and tranquil life, free from excite-
ment or grief, her mind filled with thoughts of love
and happiness.

The nursing mother must avoid constipation, and
must take plenty of fresh air and exercise. Over-
indulgence in the marriage relation is harmful. She
should eat plenty of good, plain food, but ordinarily
there is absolutely no necessity for overfeeding. Tea
and coffee are not recommended, but a little of each
can be taken if there is a great desire for it. Milk
is good for the mother, also plenty of good drinking
water. Oranges and cooked fruits are whole-
some. Highly seasoned or rich food is injurious, as
is food containing vinegar or other sour material.

Overfatiguing or sudden shock will affect breast
milk, also the expectation of again becoming a
mother ; for, although it is believed by many that a
nursing mother cannot become pregnant, facts dis-
prove the truth of this statement. Occasionally the



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166 SEX TALKS TO GIRLS

menstrual period will affect the breast milk. Water
should rarely be given to breast-fed babies between
meals except during the hot weather, when some cool
boiled water may be offered between the feedings.

Now as to the baby whose mother cannot feed
it naturally, and which must, as a result, be bottle-
fed. Such infants do well and thrive also if they
get milk which is suited to their digestion. Next to
mother's milk, cow's milk is the most universally
used for baby feeding. It is different from mother's
milk, and therefore must be diluted to make it as
nearly like breast milk as possible. This dilution
should be changed at regular intervals according to
the age-development and requirements of the baby,
instructions for its use being obtained from the
family physician.

It is not safe for the mother to try to regulate
this matter herself, because each and every baby
needs to be studied and fed accordingly. You have


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Online LibraryIrving David SteinhardtTen sex talks to girls (14 years and older) → online text (page 9 of 11)