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towards me, he asked :

" Do you know me, Jack ?"

" Know you, dear sir ! Why should I not ?"

" And do you forgive me, dear boy ?"

"For what, sir? I am sure, I have most reason
to demand your pardon for a thousand follies."

" Ah ! the letter the unkind the inconsiderate
letter!"

" I have not had a iettc r from you, sir, in a twelve
month : the last w;w anything but unkind."

" Though Anna wrote, it w r as at my dictation "

I passed a hand over my brow, and had dawn
ings of the truth.

" Anna ?"

" Is here in Paris, and miserable- -most mise
rable ! on your account."



THE MONIKINS. 471

Every particle of monikinity that was left in my
system instantly gave way to a flood of human sen
sations.

" Let me fly to her, dear sir a moment is an
age!"

" Not just yet, my boy. We have much to say
to each other, nor is she in this hotel. To-morrow,
when both are better prepared, you shall meet."

"Add, never to separate, sir, and I will be patient
as a lamb."

" Never to separate, I believe it will be better to
say."

I hugged my venerable guardian, and found a
delicious relief from a most oppressive burthen of
sensations, in a flow of tears.

Dr. Etherington soon led me into a calmer tone
of mind. In the course of the day, many matters
were discussed and settled. I was told that Captain
Poke had been a good nurse, though in a sealing
fashion ; and that the least I could do was to send
him back to Stunin'tun, free of cost. This was
agreed to, and the worthy but dogmatical mariner
was promised the means of fitting out a new
" Debby and Dolly."

" These philosophers had better be presented to
some academy," observed the Doctor, smiling, as
he pointed to the family of amiable strangers, " be
ing already F. U. D. G. E 's and H. O. A. X 's. Mr.
Reasono, in particular, is unfit for ordinary society."

"Do with them as you please, my more than
father. Let the poor animals, however, be kept
from physical suffering."

" Attention shall be paid to all their wants, both
physical and moral."

" And in a day or two, we shall proceed to the
rectory ?"

"* The day after to-morrow, if you have strength.



472 THE MONIKINS.

" And to-morrow ?

'* Anna will see you."

" And the next day ?"

"IXay, not quite so soon, Jack; but the moment
we think you perfectly restored, she shall share
your fortunes for the remainder of your common
probation."



CHAPTER XXX.

Explanations- A leave-taking- Love Confessions, but no
penitence.

A NIGHT of sweet repose left me refreshed, and
with a pulse that denoted less agitation than on the
preceding day. I awoke early, had a bath, and sent
for Captain Poke to take his coffee with me, before
we parted; for it had been settled, the previous
evening, that he was to proceed towards Stunin'tun,
forthwith. My old messmate, colleague, co-adven
turer, and fellow-traveller, was not slow in obeying
the summons. I confess his presence was a com
fort to me, for I did not like looking at objects that
had been so inexplicably replaced before my eyes,
unsupported by the countenance of one who had
gone through so many grave scenes in my com
pany.

" This has been a very extraordinary voyage of
ours, Captain Poke," I remarked, after the worthy
sealer had swallowed sixteen eggs, an omelette,
seven coteleMes, and divers accessaries. " Do you
think of publishing your private journal 1"

"Why, in my opinion, Sir John, the less that
either of us says of the vVge the better."

" And why so t We have had the discoveries of
Columbus, Cook, Vancouver and Hudson why
not those of Captain Poke ?"



THE MONIKINS. 473

" To own the truth, we sealers do not like to
speak of our cruising grounds and, as for these
monikins, after all, what are they good for? A
thousand of them would n't make a quart of 'ile, and
by all accounts their fur is worth next to nothin'."

" Do you account their philosophy for nothing 1
and their jurisprudence? you, who were so near
losing your head, and who did actually lose your
tail, by the axe of the executioner ?"

Noah placed a hand behind him, fumbling
about the seat of reason, with evident uneasiness.
Satisfied that no harm had been done, he very
co' y placed half a muffin in what he called his
' lovision-hatchway."

" You will give me this pretty model of our good
old Walrus, Captain?"

" Take it, o' Heaven's sake, Sir John, and good
luck to you with it. You, who give me a full-grown
schooner, will be but poorly paid with a toy."

" It's as like the dear old craft, as one pea is like
another!"

" I dare say it may be. I never knew a model
that hadn't suthin' of the original in it."

" Well, my good shipmate, we must part. You
know I am to go and see the lady who is soon to
be my wife, and the diligence will be ready to take
you to Havre, before I return."

" God bless you ! Sir John, God bless you !"
Noah blew his nose till it rung like a French horn.
I thought his little coals of eyes were glittering,
too, more than common, most probably with
moisture. "You're a droll navigator, and make no
more of the ice than a colt makes of a rail. But
though the man at the wheel is not always awake,
the heart seldom sleeps."

"When the Debby and Dolly is fairly in the

40*



474 THE MONIKINS.

water, you will do me the pleasure of letting me
know it"

" Count on me, Sir John. Before we part, I have,
however, a small favor to ask."

" Name it."

Here Noah drew out of his pocket a sort of basso
relievo carved in pine. It represented Neptune
armed with a harpoon instead of a trident; the Cap
tain always contending that the god of the seas
should never carry the latter, but that, in its place,
he should be armed either with the weapon he had
given him, or with a boat-hook. On the right of
Neptune was an English gentleman holding out a
bag of guineas. On the other was a female who
I was told, represented the goddess of Liberty,
while it was secretly a rather flattering likeness of
Miss Poke. The face of Neptune was supposed
to have some similitude to that of her husband.
The Captain, with the modesty which is invariably
the companion of merit in the arts, asked per
mission to have a copy of this design placed on the
schooner's stern. It would have been churlish to
refuse such a compliment; and I now offered Noah
my hand, as the time for parting had arrived. The
sealer grasped me rather tightly, and seemed dis
posed to say more than adieu.

" You are going to see an angel, Sir John."

" How ! Do you know anything of Miss Ether-
ington ?"

" I should be as blind as an old bum-boat else.
During our late v'y'ge, I saw her often."

" This is strange ! But there is evidently some
thing on your mind, my friend : speak freely."

"Well, then, Sir John, talk of anything but of our
v'y'ge, to the dear crittur. I do not think she is
quite prepared yet to hear of all the wonders wo
aw."



THE MONIKINS. 475

I promised to be prudent; and the Captain,
shaking me cordially by the hand, finally wished
me farewell. There were some rude touches of
feeling in his manner, which reacted on certain
chords in my own system ; and he had been gone
several minutes before 1 recollected that it was time
to go to the Hotel de Castile. Too impatient to
wait for the carriage, I flew along the streets on
foot, believing that my own fiery speed would out
strip the zig-zag movement of a fiacre or a cabriolet
de place.

Dr. Etherington met me at the door of his ap-
partement, and led me to an inner room without
speaking. Here he stood gazing, for some time,
in my face, with parental concern.

" She expects you, Jack, and believes that you
rang the bell."

" So much the better, dear sir. Let us not lose
a moment ; let me fly and throw myself at her feet,
and implore her pardon."

" For what, my good boy ?"

" For believing that any social-stake can equal
that which a man feels in the nearest, dearest, ties
of earth !"

The excellent rector smiled, but he wished to
curb my impatience.

" You have already every stake in society, Sir
John Goldencalf," he answered, assuming the air
which human beings have, by a general convention,
settled shall be dignified, "that any reasonable man
can desire. The large fortune left by your late
father, raises you, in this respect, to the height
of the richest in the land ; and now that you are a
baronet, no one will dispute your claim to partici
pate in the councils of the nation. It would perhaps
be better, did your creation date a century or two
nearer the commencement of the monarchy ; but,



476 THE MOMK1NS.

in this age of innovations, we must take things as
they are, and not as we might wish to have them."

I rubbad my forehead, for the Doctor had inci
dentally thrown out an embarrassing idea.

" On your principle, my dear sir, society would
be obliged to begin with its great-grandfathers to
qualify itself for its own government."

" Pardon me, Jack, if I have said anything disa
greeable no doubt all will come right in Heaven.
Anna will be uneasy at our delay."

This suggestion drove all recollection of the
good rector's social-stake system, which was ex
actly the converse of the social-stake system of
my late ancestor, quite out of my head. Springing
forward, I gave him reason to see that he would
have no farther trouble in changing the subject.
When we had passed an ante-chamber, he pointed
to a door, and admonishing me to be prudent,
withdrew.

My hand trembled as it touched the door-knob,
but the lock yielded. Anna was standing in the
middle of the room, (she had heard my footstep,)
an image of womanly loveliness, womanly faith,
and womanly feeling. By a desperate eftbrt she
was, however, mistress of her emotions. Though
her pure soul seemed willing to fly to meet me, she
obviously restrained the impulse, in order to spare
my nerves.

" Dear Jack !" and both her soft, white, pretty
little hands met me, as I eagerly approached.

Anna ! dearest Anna !" I covered the rosy
fingers with kisses.

" Let us be tranquil, Jack, and, if possible, en
deavor to be reasonable, too."

" If I thought this could really cost one habit-
aallv discreet as you an effort, Anna !"



THE MONlKIire. 477

" One habitually discreet as I, is as likely to feel
strongly on meeting an old friend, as another."

" I think it would make me perfectly happy, could
I ee thee weep."

As if waiting only for this hint, Anna burst into
a flood of tears. I was frightened, for her sobs
became hysterical and convulsed. Those precious
sentiments which had been so long imprisoned in
her gentle bosom, obtained the mastery, and I
was well paid for my selfishness, by experiencing
an alarm little less violent than her own outpouring
of feeling.

Touching the incidents, emotions, and language
of the next half-hour, it is not my intention to be
very communicative. Anna was ingenuous, unre
served, and, if I might judge by the rosy blushes
that suffused her sweet face, and the manner in
which she extricated herself from my protecting
irms, I believe I must add she deemed herself
ndiscreet in that she had been so unreserved and
ngenuous.

" We can now converse more calmly, Jack," the
dear creature resumed, after she had erased the
signs of emotion from her cheeks " more calmly,
if not more sensibly."

" The wisdom of Solomon is not half so precious
as the words I have just heard and as for the
music of the spheres "

" It is a melody that angels only enjoy."

" And art not thou an angel !"

"No, Jack, only a poor, confiding gin; one
instinct with the affections and weaknesses of her
sex, and one whom it must be your part to sustain
and direct If we begin by calling each other by
these superhuman epithets, we may awake from
the delusion sooner than if we commence with be
lieving ourselves to be no other than what wo



478 THE MONIKINS.

really are. I love you for your kind, excellent
and generous heart, Jack ; and as for these poetical
beings, they are rather proverbial, I believe, for
having no hearts at all."

As Anna mildly checked my exaggeration of
language after ten years of marriage I am unwill
ing to admit there was any exaggeration of idea
she placed her little velvet hand in mine again,
smiling away all the severity of the reproof.

" Of one thing, I think you may rest perfectly
assured, dear girl," I resumed after a moment's re
flection. " All my old opinions concerning expan
sion and contraction are radically changed. I have
carried out the principle of the social-stake system
in the extreme, and cannot say that I have been at
all satisfied with its success. At this moment I am
the proprietor of vested interests which are scat
tered over half the world. So far from finding that
I love my kind any more for all these social stakes,
I am compelled to see that the wish to protect one,
is constantly driving me into acts of injustice against
all the others. There is something wrong, depend
on it, Anna, in the old dogmas of the political econo
mists !"

" I know little of these things, Sir John, but to
one ignorant as myself, it would appear that the
most certain security for the righteous exercise of
power is to be found in just principles."

" If available, beyond a question. They who
contend that the debased and ignorant are unfit to
express their opinions concerning the public weal,
are obliged to own that they can only be restrained
by force. Now, as knowledge is power, their first
precaution is to keep them ignorant; and then they
quote this very ignorance, with all its debasing con
sequences, as an argument against their participa
tion in authoritv with themselves. I believe there



THE MON1KINS. 479

can be no safe medium between a frank admission
of the whole principle "

"You should remember, dear Goldencalf, that
this is a subject on which I know but little. It ought
to be sufficient for us that we find things as they
are ; if change is actually necessary, we should
endeavor to effect it with prudence and a proper
regard to justice."

Anna, while kindly leading me back from my
speculations, looked both anxious and pained.

" True true" I hurriedly rejoined, for a world
would not tempt me to prolong her suffering for a
moment. " I am foolish and forgetful, to be talking
thus, at such a moment ; but I have endured too
much to be altogether unmindful of ancient theo
ries. I thought it might be grateful to you, at
least, to know, Anna, that I have ceased to look
for happiness in my affections for all, and am only
so much the better disposed to turn in search of it
to one."

" To love our neighbor as ourself, is the latest
and highest of the divine commands," the dear
girl answered, looking a thousand times more
lovely than ever, for my conclusion was very far
from being displeasing to her. "I do not know
that this object is to be attained by centering in
our persons as many of the goods of life as possi
ble; but I do think, Jack, that the heart which love,
one truly, will be so much the better disposed tc
entertain kind feelings towards all others."

J kissed the hand she had given me, and we now
began to talk a little more like people of the world,
concerning our movements. The interview lasted
an hour longer, when the good Doctor interposed
and sent me home, to prepare for our return to
England.

In a week we were again in the old island. Anna



480 THE MOlUKIirS.

and her father proceeded to the rectory, while I
was left in town, busied with lawyers, and looking
after the results of my numerous investments.

Contrary to what many people will be apt to
suppose, most of them had been successful. On the
whole, I was richer for the adventures ; and with
such prospects accompanying the risks, I had little
difficulty in disposing of them to advantage. The
proceeds, together with a large balance of divi
dends that had accrued during my absence, was
lodged with my banker, and I advertised for fur
ther landed property.

Knowing the taste of Anna, I purchased one of
those town residences which look out on St. James's
Park, where the sight of fragrant shrubbery and
verdant fields will be constantly before her se
rene eyes, during the period of what is called a
London winter, or from the Easter holidays to
midsummer.

I had a long and friendly interview with my
Lord Pledge, who was not a man to abandon a
ministry, but who continued in place jtmt as active,
as respectable, as logical and as useful as ever.
Indeed, so conspicuous was he for the third of
these qualities, that I caught myself peeping, once
or twice, to see if he were actually destitute of a
cauda. He gave me the comfortable assurance
that all had gone on well in parliament during my
absence, politely intimating, at the same time, that
he did not believe I had been missed. We settled
certain preliminaries together, which will be ex
plained in the next chapter; when I hurried, on the
wings of love, alias, in a post-chaise and four, to
wards the rectory, and to the sweetest, kindest, gen
tlest, truest girl in an island which has so many
of the sweet, the kind, the gentle and the true.

' ; '-



THE MONIKINS. 481



CHAPTER XXXT.

BlissThe best investment in society The result of much
experience, and The End.


THAT day two months found me -at the rectory
of Tenthpig, the happiest man in England. The
season had advanced to the middle of July, and the
shrubbery near the bow-window of my excellent
father-in-law's library, was in full verdure. The
plant, in particular, whose flowers had so well
emulated the bloom of Anna's cheek, was rioting in
the luxuriance of renewed fertility, its odors stealing
gently over the senses of my young wife and my
self, as we sat alone, enjoying the holy calm of a
fine summer morning, and that delicious happiness
which is apt to render the bliss of the first months
of a well-assorted union almost palpable.

Anna was seated so near the window that the
tints of the rose-bush suffused her spotless robe,
rendering her whole figure a perfect picture of that
attractive creature the poets have so often sung a
blushing bride. The quiet light had to traverse a
wilderness of sweets before it fell on her bland fea
tures, every polished lineament of which was elo
quent of felicity, and yet, if it be not a contradic
tion, I would also add, not entirely without the sha
dows of thought. She was never more lovely, and
I had never known her so subdued and tender, as
within the last half-hour. We had been speaking,
without reserve, of the past, and Anna had just
faithfully described the extreme suffering with which
she had complied with the command of the good
rector, in writing the letter that had so completely
nnmanned me.

" I ought to have known you better, love, than to
41



482 THE BtONlKllTS.

suspect you of the act," I rejoined to one of her
earnest protestations of regret, and gazing fondly
into those eyes which have so much of the serenity,
as they have the hues, of heaven. " You never yet
were so unkind to one who was offensive ; much
less could you willingly have plotted this cruelty
to one you regard !"

Anna could no longer control herself, but her
cheeks were wetted with the usual signs of feeling
in her sex. Then smiling in the midst of this little
outbreaking of womanly sensibility, her countenance
became playful and radiant.

"That letter ought not to be altogether pro
scribed, neither, Jack. Had it not been written,
you would never have visited Leaphigh, nor Leap-
low, nor have seen any of those wonderful spec
tacles which are here recorded."

The dear creature laid her hand on a roll of
manuscript which she had just returned to me, after
its perusal. At the same time, her face flushed, as
vivid and transient feelings are reflected from the
features of the innocent and ingenuous, and she
made a faint effort to laugh.

I passed a hand over my brow, for whenever this
subject is alluded to between us, I invariably feel
that there is a species of mistiness, in and about the
region of thought I was not displeased, however,
for I knew that a heart which loved so truly would
not willingly cause me pain, nor would one habit
ually so gentle and considerate, utter a syllable that
she might have reason to think would seriously
displease.

" Hadst thou been with me, love, that journey
would always be remembered as one of the plea-
santest events of my life; for, while it had its perils
and its disagreeables, it had also its moments of
extreme satisfaction."



THE MONIKINS.

" You will never be an adept in political saltation,
John !"

" Perhaps not but here is a document that will
render it less necessary than formerly."

I threw her a packet which had been received
that morning from town, by a special messenger
but of whose contents I had not yet spoken. Anna
was too young a wife to open it without an appro
ving look from my fond eye. On glancing over its
contents, she perceived that I was raised to the
House of Peers by the title of Viscount House
holder. The purchase of three more boroughs, and
the influence of my old friend Lord Pledge, had
done it all.

The sweet girl looked pleased, for I believe it is
in female nature to like to be a Viscountess ; but,
throwing herself into my arms, she protested that
her joy was at my elevation and not at her own.

" I owed you this effort, Anna, as some acknow
ledgment for your faith and disinterestedness in the
affair of Lord M'Dee."

" And yet, Jack, he had neither high cheek-bones,
nor red hair ; and his accent was such as might
please a girl less capricious than myself!"

This was said playfully and coquettishly, but in a
way to make me feel how near folly would have been
to depriving me of a treasure, had the heart I so
much prized been less ingenuous and pure. I drew
the dear creature to my bosom, as if afraid my rival
might yet rob me of her possession. Anna looked
qp, smiling through her tears; and, making an effort
to be calm, she said, in a voice so smothered as to
prove how delicate she felt the subject to be :

"We will speak seldom of this journey, deai
T ohn, and try to think of the long and dark journey
which is yet before us. We will speak of it, how



484 THE MONIKINS.

ever, for there should be nothing totally concealed
between us."

I kissed her serene and humid eyes, and repeated
what she had just said, syllable for syllable. Anna
has not been unmindful of her words ; for rarely,
indeed, has she touched on the past, and then
oftener in allusion to her own sorrows, than in
reference to my impressions.

But, while the subject of my voyage to the moni-
kin region is, in a measure, forbidden between me and
my wife, there exists no such restraint as between
me and other people. The reader may like to know,
therefore, what effect this extraordinary adventure
has left on my mind, after an interval of ten years.

There have been moments when the whole has
appeared a dream; but, on looking back, and
comparing it with other scenes in which I have
been an actor, I cannot perceive that this is not
quite as indelibly stamped on my memory as those.
The facts themselves, moreover, are so very like
what I see daily in the course of occurrence around
me, that I have come to the conclusion, I did go
to Leaphigh in the way related, and that I must
have been brought back during the temporary
insanity of a fever. I believe, therefore, that there
are such countries as Leaphigh and Leaplow ; and.
after much thought, I am of opinion that great jus
tice has here been done to the monikin character i
general.

The result of much meditation on what I wit
nessed, has been to produce sundry material change?
in my former opinions, and to unsettle even many
of the notions in which I may be said to have beer
born and bred. In order to consume as little of tht
reader's time as possible, I shall set down a sum
mary of my conclusions, and then take my leavo



THE MOXIKIIfS. 485

of him, with many thanks for his politeness in read
ing what I have written. Before completing my
task in this way, however, it will be well to add a
word on the subject of one or two of my fellow-
travellers.

I never could make up my mind relating to the
fact whether we did or did not actually eat Briga
dier Downright The flesh was so savory, and it
tasted so delicious after a week of philosophical
meditation on nuts, and the recollection of its plea
sures is so very vivid, that I am inclined to think
nothing but a good material dinner could have left
behind it impressions so lively. I have had many
melancholy thoughts on this subject, especially in
November ; but observing that men are constantly
devouring each other, in one shape or another, I



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