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holder, and of the political consciences of its ten
antry.

A fact so important could not long be unknown ;
and in a few minutes all eyes in the coffee-room
were upon me. The landlord presented himself,
and begged I would do him the honor to take pos-



80 THE MOM KINS.

session of his family parlour, there being no other
at his disposal. I was hardly installed, before a
servant in a handsome livery presented the follow
ing note :

Dear Mr. GOLDENCALF,

I have this moment heard of your being in town, and
am exceedingly rejoiced to learn it A long intimacy with
your late excellent and most loyal father, justifies my claim
ing you for a friend, and I waive all ceremony, (official, of
course, is meant, there being no reason for any other be
tween us,) and beg to be admitted for half an hour.

Dear Mr. Goldencalf,
Your's, very faithfully and sincerely,

PLEDGE.

GOLDENCALF, Esquire.

Monday evening.

I begged that the noble visiter might not be made
to wait a moment. Lord Pledge met me like an
old and an intimate friend. He made a hundred
handsome inquiries after my dead ancestor ; spoke
feelingly of his regret at not having been summon
ed to attend his death-bed ; and then very ingenu
ously and warmly congratulated me on my succes
sion to so large a property.

" I hear, too, you have bought this borough, my
dear sir. I could not make it convenient, just at
this particular moment, to conclude my own ar
rangement, but it is a good thing. Three hun
dred and twenty thousand, I suppose, as was men
tioned between me and the other party?"

" Three hundred and twenty-five thousand, Lord
Pledge."

I perceived by the countenance of the noble can
didate, that I had paid the odd five thousand as a
fine, a circumstance which accounted for tho



THE MOMKINS. 8l

promptitude of the attorney in the transaction, he
most probably pocketing the difference himself.

" You mean to sit, of course ?"

" I do, my Lord, as one of the members, at the
next general election; but at present, I shall be
most happy to aid your return."

" My dear Mr. Goldencalf "

" Really, without presuming to compliment, Lord
Pledge, the noble sentiments I, heard you express
this morning, \vere so very proper, so exceedingly
statesmanlike, so truly English, that I shall feel in
finitely more satisfaction in knowing that you fill
the vacant seat, than if it were in my own posses
sion."

" I honor your public spirit, Mr. Goldencalf, and
only wish to God, there was more of it in the world.
But you can count on our friendship, sir. What
you have just remarked, is true very true only
too true true to a hair a-a-a I mean, my dear
Mr. Goldencalf, most especially those sentiments
of mine which a-a-a I say it, before God, with
out vanity but which, as you have so very ably
intimated, are so truly proper and English."

" I sincerely think so, Lord Pledge, or I should
not have said it. I am peculiarly situated, myself.
With an immense fortune, without rank, name, or
connexions, nothing is easier than for one of my
years to be led astray ; and it is my ardent desire
to hit upon some expedient that may connect me
properly with society."

"Marry, my dear young friend select a wife
from among the fair and virtuous of this happy
isle unluckily I can propose nothing in this way
myself for both my own sisters are disposed of."

" I have made my choice, already, I thank you
a thousand times, my dear Lord Pledge ; although
I scarcely dare execute my own wishes. There



82 THE MONIKINS.

are objections, if I were only the child, now, of a
baronet's second son, or "

" Become a baronet yourself," once more inter
rupted my noble friend, with an evident relief from
suspense ; for I verily believe he thought I was
about to ask for something better. " Your affair
shall be arranged by the end of the week ana *f
there is any thing else I can do for you, I beg you
to name it without reserve."

" If I could hear a few more of those remarka
ble sentiments of yours, concerning the stake we
should all have in society, I think it would relieve
my mind."

My companion looked at me a moment, with a
very awkward sort of intensity, drew his hand
across his brows, reflected, and then obligingly
complied.

" You attach too much importance, Mr. Golden-
calf, to a few certainly very just, but very ill-ar
ranged ideas. That a man, without a proper stake
in society, is little better than the beast of the fields,
I hold to be so obvious, that it is unnecessary to
dwell on the point. Reason as you will, forward
or backward, you arrive at the same result, he
that hath nothing, is usually treated by mankind
little better than a dog, and he that is little better
than a dog, usually has nothing. Again, What
distinguishes the savage from the civilized man ?
why, civilization, to be sure. Now, what is civil
ization ? the arts of life. What feeds, nourishes,
sustains the arts of life ? money, or property. By
consequence, civilization is property, and property
is civilization. If the control of a country is in the
hands of those who possess the property, the go
vernment is a civilized government ; but, on the
other hand, if it is in the nands of those who have
no property, the government is necessarily an un-



THE HONIKIKS. 83

civilized government. It is quite impossible that
any one should become a safe statesman, who does
not possess a direct property interest in society.
You know there is not a tyro of our political sect
who does not fully admit the truth of this axiom."

"Mr. Pitt?"

" Why, Pitt was certainly an exception, in one
way ; but then, you will recollect, he was the im
mediate representative of the tories, who own most
of the property of England."

"Mr. Fox?"

"Fox represented the whigs, who own all the
rest, you know. No, my dear Goldencalf, reason
as you will, we shall always arrive at the same
results. You will, of course, as you have just said,
take one of the seats yourself, at the next general
election ?"

" I shall be too proud of being your colleague, to
hesitate."

This speech sealed our friendship ; for it was a
pledge to my noble acquaintance of his future con
nexion with the borough. He was much too high
bred to express his thanks in vulgar phrases, (though
high-breeding rarely exhibits all its finer qualities
pending an election,) but, a man of the world, and
one of a class whose main business it is to put the
suaviter in modo, as the French have it, en evidence,
the reader may be sure that when we parted that
night, I was in perfect good humor with myself,
and, as a matter of course, with my new acquaint
ance.

The next day the canvass was renewed, and we
had another convincing speech on the subject of
the virtue of " a stake in society ;" for Lord Pledge
was tactician enough to attack the citadel, once
assured of its weak point, rather than expend his
efforts OP the out-works of the place. That night



84 THE MOfflKINS.

the attorney arrived from town with the title-deeds
all properly executed, (they had been some time
in preparation for Lord Pledge,) and the following
morning early, the tenants were served with the
usual notices, with a handsomely expressed senti
ment, on my part, in favor of "a stake in society."
About noon, Lord Pledge walked over the course,
as it is expressed at New-Market and Doncaster.
After dinner we separated, my noble friend return
ing to town, while I pursued my way to the Rec
tory.

Anna never appeared more fresh, more serene,
more elevated above mortality, than when we met,
a week after I had quitted Householder, in the
breakfast-parlor of her father's abode.

** You are beginning to look like yourself again,
Jack," she said, extending her hand, with the sim
ple cordiality of an Englishwoman; "and I hope
we shall find you more rational."

" Ah, Anna, if I could only presume to throw
myself at your feet, and to tell you how much and
what I feel, I should be the happiest fellow in all
England."

"As it is, you are the most miserable !" the
laughing girl answered, as, crimsoned to the tem
ples, she drew away the hand I was foolishly
pressing against my heart. " Let us go to break
fast, Mr. Goldencalf my father has ridden across
the country to visit Dr. Liturgy."

" Anna," I said, after seating myself, and taking
a cup of tea from fingers that were rosy as the
morn, " I fear you are the greatest enemy that I
have on earth."

"John Goldencalf!" exclaimed the startled girl,
>orning pale, and then flushing violently. " Pray
explain yourself."

" I love you to my heart's core could marry



THE MONIKINS. 85

you, and then, I fear, worship you, as man never
before worshipped woman."

Anna laughed faintly.

" And you feel in danger of the sin of idolatry?"
she at length succeeded in saying.

"No, I am in danger of narrowing my sympa
thies of losing a broad and safe hold of life of
losing my proper stake in society of in short,
of becoming as useless to my fellows as my poor,
poor father, and of making an end as miserable !
Oh! Anna, could you have witnessed the hopeless
ness of that death-bed, you could never wish me
a fate like his !"

My pen is unequal to convey an adequate idea
of the expression with which Anna regarded me.
Wonder, doubt, apprehension, affection, and an
guish, were all beaming in her eyes; but the
unnatural brightness of these conflicting senti
ments was tempered by a softness that resembled
the pearly lustre of an Italian sky.

" If I yield to my fondness, Anna, in what will
my condition differ from that of my miserable
father's ? He concentrated his feelings in the love
of money, and I yes, I feel it here, I know it is
here I should love you so intensely, as to shut out
every generous sentiment in favor of others. I
have a fearful responsibility on my shoulders,
wealth gold ; gold, beyond limits ; and to save
my very soul, I must extend, not narrow, my interest
in my fellow-creatures. Were there a hundred
such Annas, I might press you all to my heart,
but, one! no no 'twould be misery 'twould be
perdition! The very excess of such a passion
would render me a heartless miser, unworthy of
the confidence of my fellow-men !"

The radiant and yet serene eyes of Anna seemed
o read my soul ; and when I had done speaking,
8



86 THE MOMK1NS

she arose, stole timidly to my side of the table, as
woman approaches when she feels most, placed
her velvet-like hand on my burning forehead,
pressed its throbbing pulses gently to her heart,
burst into tears, and fled.

We dined alone, nor did we meet again until
the dinner hour. The manner of Anna was sooth
ing, gentle, even affectionate; but she carefully
avoided the subject of the morning. As for myself,
I was constantly brooding over the danger of con
centrating interests, and of the excellence of the
social-stake system.

" Your spirits will be better, Jack, in a day or
two," said Anna, when we had taken wine after
the soup. " Country air, and old friends, will re
store your freshness and color."

" If there were a thousand Annas, I could be
happy, as man was never happy, before ! But I
must not, dare not, lessen my hold on society."

" All of which proves my insufficiency to render
you happy. But here comes Francis, with yester
day morning's paper let us see what society is
about, in London."

After a few moments of intense occupation with
the journal, an exclamation of pleasure and sur
prise escaped the sweet girl. On raising my eyes,
I saw her gazing (as I fancied) fondly at myself.

" Read what you have, that seems to give you
so much pleasure."

She complied, reading with an eager and tre
mulous voice the following paragraph :

" His Majesty has been most graciously pleased
to raise John Goldencalf, of Householder Hall, in
the county of Dorset, and of Cheapside, Esquire
to the dignity of a Baronet of the United King
doms of Great Britain and Ireland."



THE MONIKINS. 87

Sir John Goldencalf, I have the honor to drink
to your health and happiness !" cried the delighted
girl, brightening like the dawn, and wetting her
pouting lip with liquor less ruby than itself. "Here,
Francis, fill a bumper, and drink to the new
baronet."

The gray-headed butler did as ordered, with a
very good grace, and then hurried into the ser
vants' hall, to communicate the news.

" Here at least, Jack, is a new hold that society
has on you, whatever hold you may have on
society."

I was pleased, because she was pleased, and
because it showed that Lord Pledge had some
sense of gratitude, (although he afterwards took
occasion to intimate that I owed the favor chiefly
to hope,) and I believe my eyes never expressed
more fondness.

"Lady Goldencalf would not have an awkward
sound, after all, dearest Anna."

" As applied to one, Sir John, it might possibly
do; but not as applied to a hundred." Anna
laughed, blushed, burst into tears once more, and
again fled.

" What right have I to trifle with the feelings
of this single-hearted and excellent girl," said I to
myself; " it is evident that the subject distresses
her she is unequal to its discussion, and it is
unmanly and improper in me to treat it in this
manner. I must be true to my character as a
gentleman and a man ay, and, under presen
circumstances, as a baronet; and I will never
speak of it again as long as I live."

The following day I took leave of Dr. Ethering-
ton and his daughter, with the avowed intention
of travelling for a year or two. The good rector



68 THE MONIKINS.

gave me much friendly advice, flattered me with
expressions of confidence in my discretion, and,
squeezing me warmly by the hand, begged me to
recollect that I had always a home at the rectory.
When I had made my adieus to the father, I went,
with a sorrowful heart, in quest of the daughter.
She was still in the little breakfast parlor that
parlor so loved ! I found her pale, timid, sensitive,
bland, but serene. Little could ever disturb that
heavenly quality in the dear girl ; if she laughed, it
was with a restrained and moderated joy ; if she
wept, it was like rain falling from a sky that still
shone with the lustre of the sun. It was only
when feeling and nature were unutterably big
within her, that some irresistible impulse of her
sex betrayed her into emotions like those I had
twice witnessed so lately.

" You are about to leave us, Jack," she said,
holding out her hand kindly, and without the affect
ation of an indifference she did not feel " you
will see many strange faces, but you will see none
who "

I waited for the completion of the sentence, but,
although she struggled hard for self-possession, it
was never finished.

" At my age, Anna, and with my means, it
would be unbecoming to remain at home, when,
if I may so express it, ' human nature is abroad.'
I go to quicken my sympathies, to open my heart
to my kind, and to avoid the cruel regrets that
tortured the death-bed of my father."

"Well well" interrupted the sobbing girl,
" we will talk of it no more. It is best that you
should travel; and so adieu, with a thousand nay
millions of good wishes for your happiness and
safe return. You will come back to us, Jack
when tired of other scenes ?"



THE MONIKIJVS. 89

This was said with gentle earnestness, and a
sincerity so winning, that it came near upsetting
all my philosophy; but I could not marry the
whole sex, and to bind down my affections in one,
would have been giving the death-blow to the de
velopment of that sublime principle on which I was
bent, and which I had already decided was to
make me worthy of my fortune, and the ornament
of my species. Had I been offered a kingdom,
however, I could not speak. I took the unresisting
girl in my arms, folded her to my heart, pressed a
burning kiss on her cheek, and withdrew.

" You will come back to us, Jack ?" she half
whispered, as her hand was reluctantly drawn
through my own.

Oh! Anna, it was indeed painful to abandon thy
frank and gentle confidence, thy radiant beauty,
thy serene affections, and all thy womanly virtues,
in order to practise my newly discovered theory !
Long did thy presence haunt me nay, never did
it entirely desert me putting my constancy to a
severe proof, and threatening, at each remove, to
contract the lengthening chain that still bound me
to thee, thy fire-side, and thy altars ! But I tri
umphed, and went abroad upon the earth, with a
heart expanding towards all the creatures of God,
though thy image was still enshrined in its inmost
core, shining in womanly glory, pure, radiant, and
without spot, like the floating prism that forms
,he lusire of the diamond.
8*



00 TUB MONIKINS.



CHAPTER VI.

A theory of palpable sublimity some practical ideas, and
the commencement of adventures.

THE recollection of the intense feelings of that
important period of my life has, in some measure,
disturbed the connexion of the narrative, and may
possibly have left some little obscurity, in the mind
of the reader, on the subject of the new sources
of happiness that had broken on my own intelli
gence. A word here, in the way of elucidation,
therefore, may not be misapplied, although it is my
purpose to refer more to my acts, and to the won
derful incidents it will shortly be my duty to lay
before the world, for a just understanding of my
views, than to mere verbal explanations.

Happiness happiness, here and hereafter, was
my goal. I aimed at a life of useful and active
benevolence, a death-bed of hope and joy, and an
eternity of fruition. With such an object before
me, my thoughts, from the moment that I wit
nessed the dying regrets of my father, had been
intensely brooding over the means of attainment.
Surprising as, no doubt, it will appear to vulgar
minds, I obtained the clue to this sublime mystery,
at the late election for the borough of Householder
and from the lips of my Lord Pledge. Like other
important discoveries, it is very simple when
understood, being easily rendered intelligible to
the dullest capacities, as, indeed, in equity, ought
to be the case with every principle that is so inti
mately connected with the well-being of man.

It is an universally admitted truth, that happiness
is the only legitimate object of all human associa
tions. The ruled concede a certain portion of
their natural rights for the benefits of peace, secu-



THE MONIKLVS. 91

rity and order, with the understanding that they
are to enjoy the remainder as their own proper
indefeasible estate. It is true, that there exist, in
different nations, some material differences of
opinion on the subject of the quantities to be be
stowed and retained; but these aberrations from a
just medium are no more than so many caprices
of the human judgment, and in no manner do
they affect the principle. I found also, that all the
wisest and best of the species, or, what is much
the same thing, the most responsible, uniformly
maintain that he who has the largest stake in so
ciety, is, in the nature of tftings, the most qualified
to administer its affairs. By a stake in society is
meant, agreeably to universal convention, a multi
plication of those interests which occupy us in our
daily concerns or what is vulgarly called, pro
perty. This principle works by exciting us to uo
right, through those heavy investments of our own
which would inevitably suffer were we to do wrong.
The proposition is now clear, nor can the premises
readily be mistaken. Happiness is the aim of
society ; and property, or a vested interest in that
society, is the best pledge of our disinterested
ness and justice, and the best qualification for its
proper control. It follows as a legitimate corol
lary, that a multiplication of those interests will
increase the stake, and render us more and more
worthy of the trust, by elevating us, as near as
may be, to the pure and ethereal condition of the
angels. One of those happy accidents which
sometimes make men emperors and kings, had
made me, perhaps, the richest subject of Europe.
With this polar star of theory shining before my
eyes, and with practical means so ample, it would
have been clearly my own fault, had I not steered
my bark into the right haven. If he who had the
heaviest investments was the most likely to love his



92 THE MONIK1XS.

fellows, there could be no great difficulty for one in
my situation to take the lead in philanthropy. It is
true that, with superficial observers, the instance
of my own immediate ancestor might be supposed
to form an exception, or rather an objection, to
the theory. So far from this being the case, how
ever, it proves the very reverse. My father, in a
great measure, had concentrated all his invest
ments in the national debt. Now, beyond all cavil,
he loved the funds intensely ; grew violent when
they were assailed; cried out for bayonets when
the mass declaimed against taxation ; eulogized the
gallows, when there were menaces of revolt, and,
in a hundred other ways, proved that " where the
treasure is, there will the heart be also." The
instance of my father, therefore, like all excep
tions, only went to prove the excellence of the
rule. He had merely fallen into the error of con
traction, when the only safe course was that of
expansion. I resolved to expand; to do that
which, probably, no political economist had ever
yet thought of doing in short, to carry out the
principle of the social stake in such a way, as
should cause me to love all things, and conse
quently to become worthy of being intrusted with
the care of all things.

On reaching town, my earliest visit was one of
thanks to my Lord Pledge. At first, I had felt
some doubts whether the baronetcy would, or
would not, aid the system of philanthropy; for, by
raising me above a large portion of my kind, it
was, in so much at least, a removal from philan-
thropical sympathies ; but, by the time the patent
was received, and the fees were paid, I found that
it might fairly be considered a pecuniary invest
ment, and that it was consequently brought within
the rule I had prescribed for my own government



THE MONIKINS. 93

The next thing was to employ suitable agents
to aid in making the purchases that were ne
cessary to attach me to mankind. A month was
diligently occupied in this way. As ready money
was not wanting, and I was not very particular
on the subject of prices, at the end of that time, I
began to have certain incipient sentiments which
went to prove the triumphant success of the expe
riment. In other words, I owned much, and was
beginning to take a lively interest in all I owned.

I made purchases of estates in England, Scot
land, Ireland and Wales. This division of real
property was meant to equalize my sentiments
justly, between the different portions of my native
country. Not satisfied with this, however, I ex
tended the system to the colonies. I had East
India shares, a running ship, Canada land, a plant
ation in Jamaica, sheep at the Cape and at New
South Wales, an indigo concern at Bengal, an
establishment for the collection of antiques in the
Ionian Isles, and a connexion with a shipping house,
for the general supply of our various dependencies
with beer, bacon, cheese, broadcloths and iron
mongery. From the British Empire, my interests
were soon extended into other countries. On the
Garonne, and at Xeres, I bought vineyards. In
Germany I took some shares in different salt and
coal-mines ; the same in South America, in the
precious metals ; in Russia, I dipped deeply into
tallow; in Switzerland, I set up an extensive manu-
factury of watches, and bought all the horses
for a voiturier on a large scale. I had silk-worms
rn Lombardy, olives and hats in Tuscany, a bath
m Lucca, and a maccaroni establishment at Na
ples. To Sicily I sent funds for the purchase of
wheat, and at Rome I kept a connoisseur to con
duct a general agency in the supply of British



04 THE MONIKIffS.

articles; such as mustard, porter, pickles, and
corned beef; as well as for the forwarding of pic
tures and statues to the lovers of the arts and of virtu,

By the time all this was effected, I found my
hands full of business. Method, suitable agents,
and a resolution to succeed, smoothed the way,
however, and I began to look about me and to take
breath. By way of relaxation, I now descended
into details ; and, for a few days, I frequented the
meetings of those who are called "the Saints,"
in order to see if something might not be done to
wards the attainment of my object, through their
instrumentality. I cannot say that this experiment
met with all the success I had anticipated. I heard
a great deal of subtle discussion, found that manner



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