Jonathan Swift.

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a vacancy in your church, I (hall be much ob-
liged to you for any favour you are pleafed to
fhew him, and be ready to approve myfelf, on
any occafion, Reverend Sir, your moft obedient
and affe&ionate fervanf,

A. S N A P E.





MY LOHD, October n, 1722.

I OFT EN receive letters, franked Oxford, but
always find them written and fubfcribed by
your Lordfhip's fervant, Mynetr. His meaning
is fome bulinefs of his own, wherein I am his fo-
licitor ; but he makes his court, by giving me an
account of the ftate of your family, and perpe-
tually adds a claufe, that your Lordmip foon in-
tends to write to me. I knew you, indeed, when.
you were not fo nreat a man as you are now j I
mean, when you were Treafurer : But you are
grown fo proud (Ince your retirement, that there
is no enduring you ; and you have reafon, for
you never acted fo difficult a part of life before.
In the two great fcenes of power and profecutioa
you have excelled mankind ; and in this retire-
ment, you have moft injurioufly forgotten your
friends. Poor Prior often feat me his complaints
on this occafion, and I have returned him mine*
I never courted your acquaintance when you go-
verned Europe, but you courted mine ; and now
you neglect me, when I ufe all my infinuations to
keep myfelf in your memory. I am very ienfible,
that next to receiving thanks arfd compliments,
there is nothing you more hate than writing tet-
C c 2 ters :

304 D E A N S W I F T's

ters : But fince I never gave you thanks, nor
made you compliments, I have fo much more
merit than any of thofe thoufands whom you
have lefs obliged, by only making their fortunes,
without taking them into your friendship, as you
did me, whom you always countenanced in too
public and particular a manner, to be forgotten,
cither by the world, or myfelf, for which never
man was more proud, or lefs vain.

I have now been ten years foliating for your
picture ; and, if I had folicited you for a thou-
fand pounds, (I mean of your own money, not
the public), I could have prevailed in ten days.
You have given me many hundred hours j Can
you not now give me a couple ? Have my morti-
fications been fo few, or are you fo malicious to
add a greater than I ever yet fuffered ? Did you
ever refufe me any thing I alked you ? And will
you now begin ? In my confcience, I believe, and,
by the whole conduct of your life, I have reafon
to believe, that you are too poor to bear the ex-
pence. I ever told you, that I was the richer man
of the t%vo ; and I am now richer by five hundred
pounds, than I was at the time when I was boafting
at your table, of my wealth before Diamond Pitt.

I have hitherto taken up with a fcurvy print
of you,' under which I have placed this lemma :

. Veteres aElus primamqne juventam

Profeqtiar ? ad fefe mentem prsefentia ducunt.



And this I will place under your picture, when-
ever you are rich enough to fend it me. I will only
promife, in return, that it fliall never lofe you
the reputation of poverty ; which to one of your
birth, patrimony, and employments, is one of the
greateft glories of your life, and fo fliall be cele-
brated by me.

I intreat your Lordfhip, if your leifure and your
health will permit, to let me know, when I can be
a month with you at Brampton-caftle ; becaufe I
have a great deal of bufinefs with you that relates
to poiterhy. Mr Mynett has, for fome time, led
me an uncomfortable life with his ill accounts of
your health j but, God be thanked ! his ftyle is of
late much altered for the better.

My hearty and conftant prayers are perpetually
offered up, for the prefervation of you, and your
excellent family. Pray, my Lord, write to me ;
or you never loved me, or I have done fomethinnj
to deferve your difpleafure. My Lord, and Lady-
Harriot, my Brother, and Sifter *, pretend to
atone, by making me fine prcfents ; but I would
have his Lordfhip know, that I would value two>
of his lines, more than two of his manors, &c.

C c 3 LET-

* The members of the Saturday's Club, all called one ano-
ther Brothers, and onft-qutatly their wives weie Sifters to the
fcveral members.




SIR, Dublin, Nov. 5, 1722.

YOU ftole in and out of town, without fee-
ing either the Ladies *, or me f ; which
was very ungratefully done, confidering the obli-
gations you have to us, for lodging and dieting
with you fo long. Why did you not call in a
morning at the deanry ? Befides, we reckoned,
for certain, that you came to flay a month or
two, as "you told us you intended. I hear you
were fo kind as to be at Laracor , where I hope
you planted fomething ; apd I intend to be down
afrer Chriftmas, 'where || you muft continue a
week. As for your plan, it is very pretty, too
pretty for the ufe I intend to make of Laracor.
All I would defire is, what I mention in the pa-

* Mrs Johnfon, (or Stella) and Mrs Dingley. The former
was his concealed, but undoubted wife, being married to him in
th" vear 1710, by Dr Afhe, billiop of Clogher, who had been
his tutor. She died, January a;,. 1727-8, aged 44, " abfolute-
ly deltroyed," as Lord Orrery fays, " by the peculiarity of her

f And in the original, no doubt by roiflake.

\ The Dean's vicarage-honfe there, where he intended to make
feveral improvements, is now totally ruined, though one of his
biographers fays> " he left it a convenient and agreeable retreat
to his fucceflbr, at a confiderabie exjjence."

jj The Dean, it may be fuppoil-d, rather meant -vb:n,


per I left you, except a walk down to the canal.
I fuppofe your project would coft me ten pounds,
and a conilant gardener. Pray come to town, and
ftay fome time, and repay yourfelf fome of your
dinners. I wonder how a 'mifchief you came to
mifs us. Why did you not fet out a Monday,
like a true country parfon ? Bedde, you lay a
load on us, in faying one chief end of your jour-
ney was to Ice us ; but I fuppofe there might be
anotner motive, and you are like the man that
died of love and the cholic. Let us know whe-
ther you are more or lefs monkifh, how long
you found yourfelf better by our company, and
how long before yoji recovered the charges we
put you to. The Ladies afiure you of then hear-
ty ftrvices, and I am, with great truth and fincc-

Your moil faithful humble fervant,

J. S W I F T.



Dublin , Dec. 22, 1722.

WHAT care we, whether you fwim or
fink? Is this a time to talk of boats,
or a time to fail in them, when I am fhudder-
ing ? or a time to build boat-houfes, or pay for
carriage ? No. But, towards Summer, I promife



hereby, under my hand, to fubfcribe a (guinea) *

fhilling for one ; or, if you pleafe me, what is
blotted out, or fomething thsivabouts ; and the
Ladies fhall fubfcribe three thirteens betwixt
them, and Mrs Brent a penny, and Robert and

Archy halfpence a-piece, and the old man and
woman a farthing each : la fhort, I will be your
collector, and we will fend it down full of wine,
a fortnight before we go at Whitfuntide. You
will make eight thoufand blunders in your plant-
ing ; and who can help it ? for I cannot be with
you. My horfes eat hay, and I hold my vifita-
tion on January 7th, juft in the midft of Chrift-
nias. Mrs Brent is angry 3 and fwears as much as
a fanatic can do, that fhe will fubfcribe fixpence

to your boat. Well, I fhall be a country man

when you are not. We are now at Mr fad's
with Dan, and Sam. ; and I fteal out while they
are at cards, like a lover writing to his miftrefs.
We have no news in our town. The La-
dies have left us to-day ; and 1 promifed them,
that you would carry your club to Arfellagh,
when you are weary of one another. You ex-
prefs your happinefs, with grief in one hand, and
forrow in the other. What fowl have you but
the weep ? -what hares, but Mrs Macfadden's
grey hairs ? what peafe, put your own ? Your
mutton and your weather are both very bud,
and fo is your weather-mutton. Wild fowl is

what we like. How will this letter get to

you ?

* The word (guinea) is ftruck through with a pen hi the copy...


you ? A fortnight good from this morning.
You will find Quilca not the thing it was laft
Auguft ; no body to relilh the lake ; no body
to ride over the downs ; no trout to be caught j
no dining over a well ; no night heroics, no
morning epics j no ftolen hour when the wife is
gone ; no creature to call you names. Poor
niiferable Mr Sheridan ! No blind harpers ; no
journeys to Rantavan ! Anfwer all this, and be
my magnus Apclh. We have new plays, and
new lybds ; and nothing valuable is old, but
Stella, whole bones (lie recommends to you.
Dan. * defires to know whether you faw the ad-

vertifement of your being robbed. And fo I

conclude. Your's, Sec.



DEAR SIR, London^ Dec. 22, 1722.

AFTER every poft-day, for thefe eight or
nine years, I have been troubled with an
uneafinefs of fpirit, and at laft I have refolvtd
to get rid of it, and -write to you. I don't de-
fcrve you fliould think fo well of me as I really
deferve ; for I have not profeiTed to you, that I
love you as much as ever I did : But you are the
only perfon of my acquaintance almoft, that docs

* The Rev. Mr Dan. Juckfon.

310 D E A N S W I F T's

not know it. Whoever I fee, that comes from
Ireland, the firft queftion I afk is after your
health ; of which I had the pleafure to hear
very lately from Mr Berkeley. I think of you
very often : Nobody wifhes you better, or longs
more to fee you. Duke Difney, who knows
more news than any man alive, told me I fliould
certainly meet you at the Bath this feafon : But I
had one comfort in being difappointed, that you
did not want it for your health. I was there for
near eleven weeks for a cholic, that I have been
often troubled with of late j but have not found
all the benefit I expefted.

I lodge, at prefent, in Burlington-houfe, and
have received many civilities from many great
men, but very few real benefits. They wonder
at each other for not providing for me ; and I
wonder at them all. Experience has given me
fome knowledge of them ; fo that I can fay, that
it is not in their power to difappoint me. You
find I talk to you of myfelf ; I wifh you would
reply to me in the fame manner, i hope, tho'
you have not heard of me fo long, I have not
loft my credit, with you ; bu,t that you will think
of me in the fame manner, as when you efpoufed
my caufe fo warmly ; which my gratitude nevc;r
can forget. I am, dear Sir, your moil obliged
and flncere humble fervant, J. GAY.

P. S. Mr Pope, upon reading over this letter,
defired me to tell you, that he has been juft in
the fame fentiments with me in regard to you j
and fliall never forget his obligations to you.




Dublin, Jan. 8, 1722-3.

COMING home after a (hort Chriftmas ram-
ble, I found a letter upon my table ; and
little expected, when I opened it, to read your
name at the bottom. The beft and greateft part
of my life, until thefe laft eight years, I fpent
in England ; there I made my friendships, and
there I left my defires. I am condemned for
ever to another country. What is in prudence
to be done ? I think, to be oblitufque meorutn,
oblivifcendiis et illis. What can be the defign of
your letter but malice, to wake me out of a
fcurvy deep, which however is better than none?
I am towards nine years older fince I left you ;
yet that is the leaft of my alterations : My bufi-
nefs, my diverfions, my converfations, are all
entirely changed for the worfe, and fo are my
ftudies, and it\y amufements in writing. Yet, after
all, this humdrum way of life might be paflable
enough, if you would let me alone. I {hall not
be able to relifh my wine, my parfons, my horfes,
nor my garden, for three months, until the fpirit
you have raifed (hall be diinofiefled. I have
fometimes wondered, that I have not vifited you;
but I have been ftopped by too many reafons,
befides years and lazinefs ; and yet thefe are


3 r:j D E A N S W I F T's

very good ones. Upon my return after half a
year amongft you, there would be to me deftderii
nee pudor nee modus. I was three years reconciling
myfelf to the fcene, and the bufinefs to which for-
tune had condemned me ; and ftupidity was what
I had recourfe to. Betides, what a figure iliould
I make in London, while my friends are in
poverty, exile, diftrefs, or imprifonment, and my
enemies with rods of iron ? Yet I often threaten
myfelf with the journey, and am every Summer
praclifing to get health to bear it : The only in-
convenience is, that I grow old in the experiment.
Although I care not to talk to you as a Divine,
yet 1 hope you have not been author of your
cholic. Do you drink bad wine, or keep bad
company ? Are you not as many years older as
I ? It will hot be always, Et tibi qitos tnihi demp-
Cerit apponet annos. I am heartily forry you have
any dealings with that ugly diftemper, and I be-
lie* T e our friend Arbuthnott will recommend you
to temperance and exercife. I wifh they could
have as good an effect upon the giddinefs I am
fubi'-ct to, and which this moment I am not free
from. I fhould have been glad if you had length-
ened your letter, by telling me the prefent condi-
tion of many of my old acquaintance, Congreve,
Arbuthnott, Lewis, &c. ; but you mention only
Mr Pope, who, I believe, is lazy, or elfe he
might have added three lines, of his own. I am
extremely glad he is not in your cafe of needing
great men's favo'ur, and could heartily wifh that


you were in his. I have been confidering why
poets have fuch ill luccefs in making their court;
lince they are allowed to be the greateft and beft
of all flatterers. The defeft is, that they flatter
only in print or in, writing, but not by word of
mouth : They will give things under their hand,
which they make a confcience of fpeaking. Be-
fides, they are too libertine to haunt antecham-
bers, too poor to bribe porters and footmen, and
too proud to cringe to fecond-hand favourites in
a great family. Tell me, are yoji not under ori-
ginal lin, by the dedication of your eclogues to
Lord Bolingbroke ? I am an ill judge at this dif-
tance ; and, belides, am, for my cafe, utterly ig-
norant of the commone(t things thai pafs in the
world : But if all courts have a famenefs in them,
(as the parfons phrafe it), things may be as they
were in my time, when all employments went to
parliament-men's friends, who had been ufoful in
elections ; and there was always a huge lift of
names in arrears at the Treafury, which would at
leaft take up your feven years expedient to dif-
charge even one half. I am of opinion, if you
will not be offended, that the fureft courfe would
be, to get your friend, who lodgeth in your houfe,
to recommend you to the next chief governor who
conies over here, for a good civil employment,
or to be one of his fecretaries j which your parlia-
ment-men are fond enough of, .when there is no
room at home. The wine is good and reafon-
able ; you m.iy dine twice a-week at the deanry-
VOL. XV. D d houfe;

3 i 4 .-DEAN SWIFT's

houfe , there is a fet of company in this town,
fufHcient for one man ; folks will admire you,
becaufe they have read' you, and read of you;
and a good employ men t will make you live tole-
rably in London, or fumptuoufly here ; or, if
you divide between both places, it will be for
your health.

I wifh I could do more than fay I love you.
I left you in a good, way, both for the late court,
and-the fucceflbrs ; and by the force of too much
honefty, or too^ittle fublunary wifdom, you fell
between two^ftools. Take care of your health
and money ; be lefs modeft, and more alive ; or
clfe turn parfon, and get a bifhoprick here :
Would to God they would fend us as good ones
from your fide !

I am ever, &c.



Jan. 12, 1723.

I FIND a rebuke in a late letter of your's, that
both ftings and pleafeth me extremely. Your
faying that I ought to have writ a poftfcript 'to
my friend Gay's, makes me not content to write
lefs than a whole letter ; and your fceming to
take his kindly, gives me hopes you will look up-
on this as a fiacere effect of friendship. Indeed,


as I cannot but own the lazinefs with which you
tax me, and with which I may equally charge
you, for both of us have had (and one of us hath
both had and given *) a furfeit of writing 5 fo I
really thought you would know yourfelf to be fo
certainly entitled to my friendfhip, that it was a
poiTdaon you could not imagine ftood in need
of any father deeds or writings to allure you of

Whatever you feem to think of your with-
drawn and feparate ftate, at this diftance, and in
this , abfence, Dean Swift, flill lives in England,
i:i every place and company where he would
chufe to live j and I find him in all the comcriu-
tions I keep, and in all the hearts in which I
defire any fhare.

We have never met, thefe many years, without
mention of you. Beudes my old acquaintance,
I have found, that all tny friends of a later date
are fuch as were youi's befpre. Lord Oxford,
Lord Harcourt, and Lord Harley, may look
upon me as one entailed upon thenl by you.
Lord Bolingbroke is now returned (as I hope) to
take me with all his other hereditary rights : And
mdeeu he feems grown fo much a philofopher,
as to fet his heart upon fome of them as little
as upon the poet you gave him. Jt is fure my ill
fate, that all thofe I moft loved, and with whom
I moft lived, muft be banifhed. After both of
you left England, my conftant hoft was the bi-
D d 2 (hop

* Alluding to his large work on Homer.


{hop of Rochefter *. Sure, this is a nation that
is curfedly a;V.iid of being over-run with too
much politenefs, and cannot regain one great
genius, but at the expence of another f. I trem-
ble for my Lord Peterborow, (whom I now
lodge with) } he has too much wit, as well as
courage, to make a folid General $ : And if he
efcapes being banifhed by others, I fear he will
banifh himfelf. This leads me to give you fome
account of the manner of my life and converfa-
tion ; which has been infinitely more various
and diflipated, than when you knew me, and
cared for me ; and among all fexes, parties, and
profeflions. A glut of firmly and retirement, in
the firft part of my life, caft me into this ; and
this^ I begin to fee, will throw me again into
ftudy and retirement.

The civilities I have met with from oppofite
fets of people, have hindered me from being vio-

Dr Atterbury.

f The bifhop of Rochefter thought this to be indeed the
cafe; and that the price agreed on for Lord B.'s return, was his
banifhment : an imagination which" fo (Irongly poflefltd him
when he went abroad, that u!l the expostulations of his friends
could not convince him of the felly of it. Wart.

| This Mr Walfh ferieufly thought to be the cafe, where, in
a k-' Mr Pope, he fays, " When we were in the North,
" my Lord Wharton (hewed me a letter he had received from
" a certain great General in Spain [Lord Peterborow]. I told
" him, I would by all means have that General recalled, and
" fet to writing here at home ; for it was impoffible, that a
man with fo much wit as he ihcwed, could be fit to command
' an army, or do any other bulinefs." Pope's works, vol. */.
let. 5. Sept. 9. 1706. Warb*


lent or four to any party j but at the fame time,
the obfervations and experiences I cannot but
have collected, have made me lefs fond of, and
lefs furprifed at any. I am therefore the more
afflicted, and the angry, at the violences and
hardfhips I fee praclifed by either. The merry
vein you knew r me in, is funk into a turn of re-
flection, that has made the world pretty indiffe-
rent to me ; and yet 1 have acquired a quietnefs
of mind, which by firs improves into a certain
degree of chearfulnefs, enough to make me juft
'fo good humoured as to \\ifh that world well.
My friendfhips are increafcd by new ones, yet no
part of the warmth I felt for the old is diminiih-
eJ. Averfions I have none, but to knaves, (for
fools 1 have learned to bear with) j and fuch I
cannot be commonly civil to ; for I think thofe
men are next to knaves who converfe with them.
The greateft man in power of this fort, (hall hard-
ly make me bow to him, ualefs I had a perfanal
obligation, and that I will take care not to have.
The top pleafure of my life is oae I learned from
you, botlvhow to gain, and how to ufe, the free-
dom of friendship with men much my fuperiors.
To have pleafed great men, according to Horace,
is a praifc ; but not to have flattered them, and
yet not have difpleafed them, is a greater. I
have carefully avoided all intercotirfe with poets
and fcribblers, unlefs -where, by great chance, I
have found a modeft one. By thefe means J have
had no quarrels with any peribnally j none have
D d 3 beem

3 i8 D E A N S W I F T's

been enemies, but who were alfo ftrangers to me ;
and as there is no great need of an eclaircifTement
with fuch, whatever they writ or faid, I never
retaliated ; not only never feeming to know, but
often really never knowing, any thing of the
matter. There are very few things that give me
the anxiety of a wifh ; the ftrongeft I have, would
be to pafs my days with you, and a few fuch as
you : But fate has difperfed them all about the
world ; and I find to wifh it, is as vain, as to wifh
to fee the millenium and the kingdom of the juft
upon earth.

If I have finned in my long filence, confider
there is one to whom you yourfelf have been as
great a linner. As foon as you fee his hand, you
will learn to do me juftice, and feel in your heart
how long a man may be fllent to thofe he truly
loves and refpe&s.



I AM not fo lazy as Pope, and therefore you.
muft not expedl from me the fame indul-
gence to lazinefs. In defending his own caufc, he
plc.v-Is your's ; and becomes your advocate, while
he appeals to you as his judge. You will do the
fame on your part ; and I, and the reft of ' :r..u*
common friends, fliall have great juftice to ex-


pel from two fuch righteous tribunals. You
referable perfectly the two ale-houfe keepers in
Holland, who were at the fame time burgomafters
of the town, and taxed one another's bill alter-
nately. I declare, before-hand, I will not ftand to
the award. My title to your friendfhip is good,
and wants neither deeds nor writings to confirm,
it : But annual acknowledgements at leaft are ne-
ceflary to preferve it ; and I begin to fufpect, by
your defrauding me of them, that you hope in
time to difpute it, and to urge prefcription againft
me. I would not fay one word to you about my-
felf, fince it is a fubject on which you appear to
have no curiofity, was it not to try how far the
contra ft between Pope's fortune and manner of
life, and mine, may be carried.

I have been, then, infinitely more uniform, and
lefs diffipated, than when you knew me, and cared
for me. That love which I ufed to fcatter with
fome profufion among the female kind, lias been
thefe many years devoted to one object. A great
many misfortunes, (for fo they are called, tho*
fometimes very improperly), and a retirement
from the world, have made that juft and nice
difcrimination between my acquaintance and my
friends, which we have feldom fagacity enough
to mnke for ourfelves ; thofe infects of various
hp?s, which ufed to hum and buz about me
while I flood in the fun-fhine, have difappcared
fince I lived in the L^de. No man come? to a
hermitage, but for the fake of the heraiit. A


3 2 D E A N. S W I F T's

few philosophical friends come often to mine ;
and they are fuch as you would be glad to live
with, if a dull tlimate, and duller company, have
not altered you extremely from what you was
nine years ago.

The hoarfe voice of party, was never heard in
this quiet place ; gazettes and pamphlets are ba-
nifhecl from it : And if the lucubrations of Ifaac
Bickerftaff be admitted, this diftindlion is owing
to fome ftrokes, by which it is judged, that this
illuftrious pbilofopher had (like the Indian Fohu,
the Grecian Pythagoras, the Perfian Zoroafter,
and others, his precurfors,* among the Zabians,
Marians, and the Egyptian fecrs), both IMS out-

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