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Charleton ; fo I hope this method will not fail
that I have now taken. I would not be wanting
in the leaft trifle, by which I might fhew the
value and efteem 1 have, and always inuft and
will have, for you.

The picture I have of you, is the fame which
Mr Jarvis drew of you in Ireland, and it is very
like you, and is a very good picture"; though Mr
Jarvis is honoured with the place of his Majefty's
painter, he cannot paint a picture. 1 fhall fo much
value, as I do that of the Dean of St Patrick's,



My old fellow-collegiate has done fo right a
thing, as to prefer one of your recommendation.
I am, Sir, your moft obedient humble fervant,


My wife fends her compliments to you } flic
is as well as can be expected.




I FIND myfelf ftand in need of the advice I
beftowed on you t'other night ; and therefore,
if you have not got rid of your cold, I would pre-
fcribe a fmall jaunt * to Belcamp this morning.
If you find yourfelf thus difpofed, I will wait for
you here in my boots : The weather may perhaps
look gloomy at the deanry ; but I can affure you
it is a fine day in this parifli f, where we fet up
for as good taftes as our neighbours : To convince
you of mine, I fend you this invitation. I am,
dear Sir, your much obliged and obedient fervant,

Wednefday Morning,

* DrGratton's, about five miles from Dublin.
f St Mary's parifli, about a mile from the deaniy.




>uilca t Sept. II, 1725.

IF you are indeed a difcarded courtier, you
have reafon to complain, but none at all to
wonder. You are too young, for many experi-
ences to fall in your way; yet you have read
enough, to make you know the nature of man.
It is fafer for a man's intereft to blafpheme God,
than to be of a party out of power, or even to be
thought fo. And fince the laft was the cafe, how
could you imagine, that all mouths would not be
open when you were received, and in fome man-
ner preferred by the government, though in a
poor way ? I tell you, there is hardly a Whig in
Ireland, who would allow a potatoe and butter-
milk to a reputed Tory. Neither is there any
thing in your countrymen upon this article, more
than what is common m all other nations, only
quoad magis et minus. Too much advertancy is
not your talent, or elfe you had fled from that
text, as from a rock *. For, as Don Quixote
faid to Sancho, what bufinefs had you to fpeak
of a halter, -in a family where one of it was hang-
ed ?

* " Sufficient to the day is the evil thereof;" on which Dr
Sheridan preached at his parifh-church on the ill of Auguft.
See a vindication ef his Excellency John Lord Carteret, vol. iv.
p. 136. Haivkef.


ed ? And your innocence is a protection that wife
men are afhamed to rely on, further than with
God. It is indeed againft common fenfe, to
think, that you fhould chufe fuch a time, when
you had received a favour from the Lord Lieute-
nant, and had reafon to expect more, to difcover
your difloyalty in the pulpit. But what will that
avail ? Therefore fit down and be quiet, and
mind your bufinefs as you fhould do, and con-
tract your friendfhips, and expect no more from
man, than fuch an animal is capable of; and you
will every day find my defcription of Yahoos more
refembling. You fhould think and deal with every
man as a villain, without calling him fo, or flying
from him, or valuing him lefs. This is an old
true leflbn. You believe every one will acquit you
of any regard to temporal intereft ; and how came
you to claim an exemption from all mankind ? I-
believe you value your temporal intereft as much
as any body, but you have not the arts of purfuing
it. You are miftaken. Domeftic evils are no
more within a man, than others ; and he who can-
not bear up againft the firft, will fink under the
fecond : And, in my confcience, I believe this is
your cafe j for being of a weak conftitution, in
an employment precarious and tirefome, loaden
with children, cum uxore neque lent neqtie commoda,
a man of intent and abftracled thinking, inflaved
by- mathematics and complaint of the world, this
new weight of party-malice hath ft ruck you down,
like a feather on a horfe's back, already loaden as


396 DEAN S W I F T's

far as he is able to bear. You ought to change
the Apoftle's expreffion r and fay, I will ftrive to
learn in whatever ftate, &c.

I will bear none of your vifions ; you fhall live
at Quilca but three fortnights and a month in the
year, perhaps not fo much. You fhall make no
entertainments, but what are neceflaryto your inte-
refts ; for your true friends would rather fee you
over a piece of mutton and a bottle once a-quar-
ter. You fhall be merry at the expence of others ;
you fhall take care of your health, and go early to
bed, and not read late at night ; and laugh with
all men, without trufting any : And then a fig
for the contrivers of your ruin, who now have
no further thoughts, than to flop your progrefs,
which perhaps they may not compafs, unlefs I am
deceived more than is ufual. All this you will do,
Ji mibi credit, and not dream of printing your fer-
mon, which is a project abounding with objec-
tions unanfwerable, and with which I could fill
this letter. You fay nothing of having preached
before the Lord Lieutenant, nor whether he is
altered towards you ; for you fpeak nothing but
generals. You think all the world has now no-
thing to do, but to pull Mr Sheridan do.wn ;
whereas it is nothing but a flap in your turn, and
away. Lord Oxford faid once to me on an occafion,
Thefe fools, becaufe they hear a noife about their
cars of their own making, think the whole world
is full of it. When I come to town, we will
change all this fcene, and act like men of the


C O R R E S P O N D E N C E. 397

world. Grow rich, and you will have no ene-
mies. Go fometimes to the caftle ; keep faft Mr
Tickell and Ballaguer * ; frequent thofe on the
right fide, friends to the prefent power ; drop
thofe who are loud on the wrong party, becaufe
they know they can fuflfer nothing by it.


Sept. 14, 1725.

I NEED not tell you with what real delight I
fhould have done any thing you defired ;
and in particular, any good offices in my power,
towards the bearer of your letter, who is this day
gone for France. Perhaps it is with poets as with
prophets ; they are fo much better liked in ano-
ther country, than their own, that your gentle-
man, upon arriving in England, loft his curiofity
concerning me. However, had he tried, he had
found me his friend ; I mean he had found me
your's. I am difappointed at not knowing bet-
ter a man whom you efteem, and comfort my-
felf only with having got a letter from you j
with which, after all, 1 fit down a gainer ; fince,
to my great pleafure, it confirms my hope of
once more feeing you. After fo many difperfions,
and fo many divifions, two or tliree of us may
yet be gathered together ; not to plot, not to
VOL. XV. L 1 contrive

* Private fecretary to his Excellency the Lord Carterct, Lord
Lieutenant of Ireland. Dub. edit.

598 D E A N S W I F T's

contrive filly fchemes of ambition, or to vex our
own, or others hearts, with bufy vanities, (fuch
as perhaps at one time of life or other, take their
tour in every man) ; but to divert ourfelves, and
the world too if it pleafes, or at worft, to laugh
at others, as innocently, and as unhurtfully, as at
ourfelves. Your travels * I hear much of ; my
otvn, I promife you, fhall never more be in a
flrange land, but a diligent, I hope ufeful, invef-
tigation of my own territories. I mean no more
rranflations, but fomething domeftic, fit for my
own country, and for my own time f .

If you come to us, I'll find you elderly ladies
enough that can halloo, and two that can nurfe,
and they are too old and feeble to make too much
noife ; as you will guefs, when I tell you they are
my own mother and my own nurfe. 1 can alfo
help you to a lady, who is as deaf, though not fo
old, as yourfelf ; you'll be pleafed with one ano-
ther, I'll engage, though you don't hear one ano-
ther ; you'll converfc like fpirits, by intuition.
What you'll moft wonder at, is, fhe is confider-
able at Court, yet no party- wo man ; and lives in
Court, yet would be eafy, and make you eafy.

One of thofe you mention, (and I dare fay always
will remember), Dr Arbuthnott is at this time ill
of a very dangerous diftemper, an impofthume in
the bowels ; which is brgke, but the event is very
uncertain. Whatever that be, (he bids me tell
you, and I write this by him), he lives or dies


* Gulliver. f The Eflay on Man.


your faithful friend ; and one reafon he has to
defire a little longer life, is the wifh to fee you
once more.

He is gay enough in this ciroumffonce to tell
you, he would give you, (if he could) fuch ad-
vice as might cure your deafnefs ; but he would
not advife you, if you were cured, to quit the
pretence of it, becaufe you may, by that means,
hear as much as you will, and anfwer as little as
you pleafe. Believe me,

Tour's, &c.



Qttilca, Sept. Ip, 1725",

WE have prevailed with Neal, in fpite of
his harveft, to carry up Mifs, with
your directions ; and it is high time, for fhe was
run almoft wild, though we have fomething civi-
lized her firice fhe came among us. You are too
fhort in circumftances. I did not hear you was
forbid preaching. Have you feen my Lord ?
Who forbade you to preach ? Are you no longer
chaplain ? Do you never, go to the caftle ? Are you
certain of the accufer, that it is Tighe ? Do you
think my Lord acts thus, becaufe he fears it would
breed ill-humour, if he ihould openly favour one
who is looked on as of a different party ; I think
L 1 2 that

400 D E A N S W I F T's

that it is too mean for him. I do not much dif-
approve your letter, but I think it a wrong me-
thod. Pray read over the inclofed twice ; and if
you do not diflike it, let it be fent, (not by a fer-
vant of your's, nor from you) to Mr Tickell.
There the cafe is ftated as well as I couUl do it in
generals, for want of knowing particulars. When
I come to town, 1 fhall fee the Lord Lieutenant,
and be as free with him as poffible. In the mean
time, I believe it may keep cold ; however, advife
with Mr Tickell and Mr Balaguer. I fhould fancy,
that the Bifhop of Limerick * could eafily fatisfy
his Excellency, and that my Lord Lieutenant be-
lieves no more of your guilt than I : And there-
fore it can be nothing but to fatisfy the noife of
party at this juncture, that he acts as he does ;
and if fo, (as I am confident it is), the effect will
ceafe with the caufe. But, without doubt, Tighe
and others have dinned the word Torry and Ja-
cobite into his Excellency's ears ; and therefore
your text, &c. was only made life of as an oppor-

Upon the whole matter, you are no lofer, but
at leaft -have got fomething. Therefore be not
like him who hanged himfelf, becaufe, going in-
to a gaming-houfe, and winning ten thoufand
pounds, he loft five thoufand of it, and came
away with only half his winnings. When my
Lord is in London, we may clear a way to him,
to do you another job, and you are young enough
to wait.


* Dr William Burfcow.


We fet out to Dublin on Monday the 5th of
October, and hope to fup at the deanry the next
night ; where you will come to us, if you are not
already engaged.

I am grown a bad bailift* towards the end of
my fervice. Your hay is well brought in, and
better ftacked than ufual. All here are well.

I know not what you mean by my having fame
fport foon; I hope it is no fport that will vex me.

Pray do not forget to feal the inclofed before
you fend it.

I fend you back your letter to the Lord Lieute-



Qiilca, Sept. 25,

YOUR, confufion hindered you from giving
any rational account of your diftrefs, till
this laft letter ; and therein you are imperfect
enough. However, with much ado we have
now a tolerable underftanding how things ftand.
We had a paper fent inclofed,' fubfcribed by Mr
Ford, as we fuppofe : It is in print, and we all
approve it ; and this I fuppofe is the fport I was
to expeft. I do think it is agreed, that all ani-
mals fight with the weapons natural to them,
(which is a new and wife remark out of my owa
L 1 3 head);.


head) ; and the devil take that animal who will
not offend his enemy, when he is provoked, with
his proper weapon ; and though your old dull
horfe little values the blows I give him with the
butt end of my ftick, yet I ftrike on, and make
him wince in fpite of his dulnefs ; and he lhall.
not fail of them while I am here ; and I hope
you will do fo too to the beaft who has kicked
againft you, and try how far his infenfibility
will protect him ; and you lhall have help, and
he will be vexed ; for fo I found your horfe
this day, though he would not move the fafter.
I will kill that flea" or loufe which bites me, tho'
I get no honour by it.

Laudari ab Us quos omnes Itiudant, is a maxim ;
and the contrary is equally true. Thank you
for the offer of your mare ; and how a pox could
we come without her ? They pulled off her's and
your horfe's fhoes for fear of being rode, and
then they rode them without fhoes, and fo I was
forced to fhoe them again. All the fellows here
would be Tighes, if they were but privy coun-
fellors. You will never be at eafe for your
friends horfes or your own, till you have walled
in a park of twenty acres, which I would have
done next Spring.

You fay not a word of the letter I fent you for
Mr Tickell, whether you fent it him or no ; and
yet it was very material that I fhould know it.
The two devils of inadvertency and forgetfulncfs
have got faft hold on you. I think you need not



quit his and Balaguer's company, for the rea-
fon I mentioned in that letter ; becaufe they are
above fufpicions, as ivhiggtjjimi and unfufpectijfimi.
When the Lord Lieutenant goes for England, I
have a method to fet you right with him, I
hope ; as I will tell you when I come to town,
if I do not Sheridan it, I mean forget it.

I did a Sheridanifm j I told you I had loft
your letter ihclofed, which you intended to Lord
Carteret, and yet I have it fafe here.



Sept. 29, 1725.

I AM now returning to the noble fcene of
Dublin, into the grand monde, for fear of
burying my parts ; to fignalize myfelf among
curates and vicars, and cor reel all corruptions
crept in relating to the weight of bread and but-
ter, through thofe dominions where I govern.
I have employed my time (betides ditching) in
finifhing, correcting, amending, and tranfcrib-
ing my travels *, in four parts complete, newly-
augmented, and intended for the prefs when the
world (hall deferve them, or rather when a prin-
ter fhall be found brave enough to venture his
cars. I like the fcheme of our meeting after


* Gulliver's Travels,

4 c4 DEAN SWIFT 's

diftrefTes and difperfions :(But the chief end I
propofe to myfelf in all labours, is to vex the
world, rather than divert it jbnd if I could com-
pafs that defign, without hurting my own perfon
or fortune, I would be the moft indefatigable
writer you have ever feen, without reading. I
am exceedingly pleafed that you have done with
tranflations. Lord Treafurer Oxford often la-
mented, that a rafcally world fhould lay you un-
der a neceffity of mif-employing your genius for
fo long a time. But fince you will now be fo
much better employed, when you think of the
world, give it one lafh the more at my requeft.
I have ever hated all nations, profeilions, and
communities j and all my love is towards indivi-
duals. For inftance, I hate the tribe of lawyers ;
but I love Counfellor fuch a one, and Judge fuch
a one. Tis fo with phyficians, (I will not fpeak
of my own trade), foldiers, Engliih, Scotch,
French, and the refty' But principally I hate and
deteft that animal Called man, although I hear-
tily love John, Peter, Thomas, and fo forth*
This is the fyftem upon which I have governed
myfelf many years, (but do not tell) ; and fo I
fhall go on till I have done with them. I have
got materials towards a treatife, proving the fal-
iity of that definition animal rationale^ and to {hew
it ihould be only rationis capax. Upon this great
foundation of mifanthropy (though_n0tjn Ti-
mon's manner) the whole building of my travels
is erected ; and I never will have peace of mind,



till all honeft men are of my opinion/ By confe-
quence you are to embrace it immediately, and
procure that all who deferve my efteem, may do
lb too. The matter is fo clear, that it will admit
of no difpute j nay, I will hold a hundred pounds
that you and I agree in the point./

I did not know your OdyfTey was finifhed,
being yet in the country, which I fhall leave in
three days. I lhank you kindly for the prefent ;
but fhall like it three-fourths the lefs, for the
mixture you mention of other hands : However
I am glad you faved yourfelf fo much drudgery.

1 have been long told by Mr Ford, of your

great achievements in building and planting, and
cfpecially of your fubterranean pafT-tge to your
garden, whereby you turned a blunder into a
beauty, which is a piece of ars poetica.

I have almoft done with Harridans, and fhall
foon become old enough to fall in love with girls
of fourteen. The lady whom you defcribed to
live at Court, to be deaf, and no party-woman,
I take to be mythology, but know not hpw to
moralize it. She cannot be Mercy ; for Mercy is
neither deaf, nor lives at Court : Juftice is blind,
and perhaps deaf; but neither is (he a court-
lady : Fortune is both blind and deaf, and a
court-lady j but then fhe is a moft damnable
party-woman, and will never make me eafy, as
you promife. It muft be Riches, which anfwers
all your defcription. I am glad fhe vifits you ;
but my voice is fo weak, that I doubt fhe will
never hear me.



Mr Lewis fent me an account of Dr Arbuth-
nott's illnefs ; which is a very fenfible affliction
to me, who, by living fo long out of the world,
have loft that hardnefs of heart contracted by
years and general converfation. I am daily lofing
friends, and neither feeking nor getting others.
Oh, if the world had but a dozen of Arbuth,.-
notts in it, I would burn my travels ! but how-
ever he is not without fault. There is a paflage
in Bede, highly commending the piety and learn-
ing of the Irifli in that age ; where, after abun-
dance of praifes, he overthrows them all, by
lamenting that, alas ! they kept Eafter at a wrong
time of the year. So our Doctor has every
quality and virtue that can make a man amiable
or ufeful ; but alas ! he hath a fort of flouch in
his walk : I pray God protect him, for he is an
excellent chriftian, though not a catholic.

I hear nothing of our friend Gay, but I find
the Court keeps him at hard meat. I advifed
him to come over with a Lord Lieutenant. Phi-
lips writes little flams (as Lord Leicefter called
thofe fort of verfes) on Mifs Carteret. A Dub-
lin blackfmith, a great poet, hath imitated his
manner, in a poem to the fame Mifs. Philips is a
complainer ; and on this occafion I told Lord
Carteret, that complainers never fucceeded at
Court, though railers do.

Are you altogether a country-gentleman, that
I muft addrefs to you out of London, to the
hazard of your lofing this precious letter, which


I will now conclude, although fo much paper is
left ? I have an ill name, and therefore Ihall not
fubfcribe it ; but you will guefs it comes from
one who efteems and loves you, about half as
much as you deferve, I mean as much as he can.
I am in great concern at what I am juft told
is in fome of the news-papers, that Lord Boling-
broke is much hurt by a fall in hunting. I am
glad he has fo much youth and vigour left, (of
which he hath not been thrifty) j but I wonder
he has no more difcretion.


Oftober 15. 1725."

I AM wonderfully pleafed with the fuddennefs
of your kind anfwer. It makes me hope
you are coming towards us, and that you incline
more and more to your old friends, in propor-
tion as you draw nearer to them, and are get-
ting into our vortex. Here is one who was once
a powerful planet, but has now (after long expe-
rience of all that comes of fhining) learned to be
content, with returning to his firft point, with-
out the thought or ambition of fhining at all.
Here is another, who thinks one of the greateft
glories of his father was to have diftingufhed and
loved you, and who loves you hereditarily. Here
is Arbuthnott, recovered from the jaws of death,
and more pleafed with the hope of feeing you


4 oS DEAN S W I F T's

again, than of reviewing a world ; every part of
which he has long defpifed, but what is made up
of a few men like yourfelf. He goes abroad
again, and is more chearful than even health can
make a man ; for he has a good confcience into
the bargain, (which is the mod catholic of all
remedies, though not the moft univerfal). I
knew it would be a pleafure to you to hear this,
and in truth that made me write fo foon to you.
I am forry poor P. is not promoted in this
age ; for certainly if his reward be of the next,
he is of all poets the moft miferable. I'm alfo
forry for another reafon ; if they don't promote
him, they'll fpoii the conclufion of one of my
fatires, where, having endeavoured to correct the
tafte of the town in wit and criticifm, I end
thus :

But what avails to lay down rules for fenfe ?

; J n ' s reign thefe fruitlefs lines were writ,

When Aaibrofe Philips was preferr'd for wit !

Our friend Gay is ufed as the friends of Tories
are by Whigs (and generally by Tories too.)~Be-
caufe he had humour, he was fuppofed to have
dealt with Dr Swift ; in like manner as when
any one had learning formerly, he was thought
to have dealt with the devil. He puts his whole
truft at Court, in that Lady whom I defcribed to
you, and whom you take to be an allegorical
creature of fancy. I wiili flie really were richer
for his Hike ; though, as for your's, I quc.ii ion
i whether


whether (if you knew her) you would change
her for the other.

Lord Bolingbroke had not the leaft harm by
his fall. I wilh he had received no more by his
other fall. Lord Oxford had none by his. Bu.t
Lord Bolingbroke is the moft improved mind fince
you faw him, that ever was improved, without
fhifting into a new body or being : Paulo minus
ab ange/is. I have often imagined to myfelf, that
if ever all of us meet again, after fo many varie-
ties and changes, after fo much of the old world
and of the old man in each of us has been altered,
that fcarce a fingle thought of the one, any
more than a iingle atom of the other, remains
juft the fame ; I've fancied, I fay, that we ihould
meet like the righteous in the millennium, quite
in peace, diverted of all our former paffions, fmiling
at our paft follies, and content to enjoy the king-
dom of the juft in tranquillity. But I find you
would rather be employed as an avenging angel
of wrath, to break your vial of indignation over
the heads of the wretched creatures of this world ;
nay, would make them eat your book t which you
have made, I doubt not, as bitter a pill for them
as poflible.

I won't tell you what defigns I have in my

head (bcfides writing a fet of maxims in oppoli-

tion to all Pvochefoucault's principles *) till I fee

VOL. XV. M m you

* This was only faid as an oblique reproof of the horrid
mifanthropy in the foregoing Lttu; ; and which he fuppo&d
might he clikfly occafioned by the Dean's fondnefs for Koche-
foucault, whose >r;:.'X. ; ?;:5 are founded on the principle of an
aniverfai fclSfhnefs in human nature. Warl>.

, 4 io DEAN S W I F T's

you here, face to face. Then you ihall have no
reafon to complain of me, for want of a gene-
rous difdain of this world, though I have not
loft my ears in your's and their fervice. Lord
Oxford too (whom I have now the third time
mentioned in this letter, and he deferves to be
always mentioned in every thing that is addreffed
to you, or comes from you) expects you : That
ought to be enough to bring you hither ; 'tis a
better reafon than if the nation expected you.
For I really enter as fully as you can defire, into
your principle of love of individuals ; and I

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